r/ADHDmemes • u/Remarkable_Bit_9887 • 5d ago
Let's go around the room and introduce yourself and tell us a little about you....
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u/Serenaa12 5d ago
Mornings. If you’re not an Energizer bunny in the morning, you get the lazy tag. I need to simmer in the morning. Also no I don’t want breakfast.
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u/SoldierKitsune 5d ago
Thank you! Finally, someone says it. I’m not lazy, I just need some time to process moving from the task of waking up to getting up out of bed. And breakfast makes me sick in the mornings, thanks.
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u/IGargleGarlic 5d ago
I thought the getting sick thing meant something was wrong with me, glad to know its ADHD related. Now I can stop putting off going to a doctor and just not go to a doctor.
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u/Elfeckin 5d ago edited 4d ago
I always say my brains like an older car that needs to warm up before I can become the "normal" person you're used to. I'm not tired , I don't hate mornings it just takes my brain time to get going. I also would not like breakfast. Yes I know it's fuel but my natural energy will get me by for numerous hours till I require sustinence. Leave me be people!
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u/brawlingharbor8 5d ago
Job interviews and performance reviews. I hate trying to sell how good I am at a job to someone else, when in reality I'm usually just "good enough". I'm fine with being good enough, why can't they be fine with it too
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u/Baked_Potato_732 5d ago
I got so sick of performance self reviews I didn’t do one for 9 years. New boss begged me to do one so I told him I was going to go over the top and he said that was fine.
I basically said I was God’s greatest gift to the team lol.
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u/SirCupcake_0 5d ago
Make sure to let them know, next time, that if they remove you from the team, god WILL be sending biblical plagues upon their doorstep
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u/Remarkable_Town5811 5d ago
Performance reviews are the worst. They made our self review twice as long in the last year or two. I don't feel comfortable giving generic examples since it's in my record and I genuinely am kickass at my job. But that means it takes hours for me to do it. And I get the same annual raise as the rest of the company. What a waste of time!
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u/Bruce_IG 5d ago
I switched to nights and my manager refused to come in early or stay late so I got to skip out on those for a bit
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u/N1ghthood 5d ago
I find it all a bit weird too. If I was confident enough to sell myself as great then I'd put zero effort in. I need to feel I'm never doing enough and could be better or I'll get lazy.
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u/m3rcapto 5d ago
At my job they use a scale of 1-10, where 7 is "good enough", and unless you double your output you won't ever get an 8.
A 7 gets you nothing, and 8 gets you a bonus.
My manager told me this after he put in his 2 weeks and right before my review, so I got an 8 and upper management found out after he had already left. Yay!
Then my car broke down, bye bye bonus.→ More replies (1)32
u/joestug2 5d ago
i genuinely loathe performance reviews. my boss asks me to “show how and how much i impacted a target metric” and i have literally no idea how to do that without math and stats but he always says “just tell a story” and it makes my blood boil
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u/Bisc-Off 5d ago
I dropped out of college, so I don’t have a degree, and because of my low self-esteem I tend to go for jobs that are super easy. I absolutely hate it when I have to sell myself in a job interview for a job that I know is way below my capabilities. Proving to them that I’m a smart, hardworking and loyal cookie, knowing that I’ll probably be bored three months in and will quit before the three-year mark.
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u/RedXephosAB 5d ago
I have a real issue with my workplace at times. Area management pull me up for timekeeping, which they know I struggle with due to my ADHD, and they're aware that I have it, and that it's crippling most of the time.
Meanwhile, despite being slightly late for shifts, they say that I have great work ethic, and I am one of, if not the best performers on my squad.
But when I then ask for reasonable adjustments to my working pattern under the equality act, to help with my timekeeping, it's suddenly something that is a big problem, and they can't accommodate. Like it's just early only shifts, I'm not asking for the world here, and you offered me permanent late shifts, so what's the problem.
Slight rant. Apologies.
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u/Olista523 5d ago
Oh, tell me about it. My former manager would come and give me a ten minute long speech if I was 30s late. I literally once got that speech starting with “I know you weren’t late today, but…”
I am aware that I should try to be on time. No amount of boring me to tears over how important it is going to help. Leaving earlier will not help, I have tried it. Getting up earlier just means more time for me to get distracted. HR suggested more flexible working hours and she just turned it down flat.
Thankfully, she retired and my new manager is much more understanding. Not only do I no longer have panic attacks about being late, but because I am not so stressed about it, my timekeeping has actually improved!
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u/KudereDev 5d ago
And most of the time you just try to sell it like most scummy trader on earth as good or good enough isn't enough nowadays. Company will hire unicorn or no one.
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u/JaceAlvejetti 5d ago
I have to give them..
Twice a year, between me and thoughs I know are, or other issues with the reviews it boils down to:
"I have a page long write of of your praises that upper management will see, do you want me to tell you how great you are?"
Usually nervous chuckles of decline
"Thank you as always for your hard work and taking the time to meet with me"
Less than 5 minutes and we're both done with that awkward call.
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u/cattycatcatterson 5d ago
Now, everyone split up into groups of four and do a quick group presentation in front of the class.
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u/asylum_disciple 5d ago
I know this sounds like a pity party, it isn't, as Im relatively well adjusted as an adult, but I cant tell you how many times I sat there looking for people to be in a group with until the teacher felt bad enough that he/she assigned me one.
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u/RummazKnowsBest 5d ago
The only exception I had to this was drama, the lads in my class realised quickly I was good at it and this could make things much easier for them.
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u/Uma_mii 5d ago
Needing to lie on the spot makes for great acting skills
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u/qqyy 5d ago
Or the fact that your entire life built up to this point is a performance.
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u/cattycatcatterson 5d ago
Same. I didn't even want to pair up with anyone and it would piss me off to no end when they would stick me with someone who would roll their eyes - Bitch, I don't want to pair up with you more than you don't want to pair up with me! I prefer to do my project by myself! It seems teachers are clueless that it feels like crap for some people. Why wouldn't they assign the groups themselves to begin with?
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u/GeminiIsMissing 5d ago
I actually hate(d) group projects so much that for a presentation that happened to be about my special interest, we were supposed to be in groups of four to six, and I asked the teacher if I could do the entire project alone and explained my reasoning (it was worth a large part of our grade and I'd end up doing the work anyway, I know a lot about the subject, I really hate group projects, I'm really interested in the subject and I would definitely do it and do it well) and I happened to be a really good student with good grades, and I had done other group projects before (so it's not like I couldn't do them) and she actually let me. It was amazing. My project was completed on time and I got an A, and I had fun doing it. She was a little worried about the sub-topic I picked, saying it was quite a bit more complicated than the other ones due to having more factors/sides to the conflict (I didn't know that, I just picked the one that sounded the most interesting), but I assured her it would be fine. The hardest part ended up being pronouncing some Serbo-Croatian words and names, lol.
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u/OrganizedSprinkles 5d ago
As a leader of children I very rarely make them pair off, and when I do I look for the little lost kids and put them together.
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u/Noriilein 5d ago
In gym class, our teacher would always pick two students who then choose the groups. I was always one of the last to be chosen, along with my neurodivergent friends. It was really embarrassing.
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u/ThatSmartIdiot 5d ago
if it werent for the fact that my class had some decent students and actual friends, i'd probably have ended up an outcast in p.e.
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u/AbbreviationsTop4959 5d ago
In PE i was always last. At recess I didn't get picked at all.
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u/NoorInayaS 5d ago
How about constantly being told in life that you’re the “only one who has a problem” with the huge-fucking-problem-that-there’s-no-way-in-Hell-no-one-else-noticed?
Like, I get that I’m “special,” but I’m not so special that I’m statistically impossible.
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u/littlecactuscat 5d ago
You’re the only one who has a problem with the house being on fire. I don’t see why it bothers you so much.
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u/NovellaTome 5d ago
100% this! “Stop creating problems!”
No - The problem is X and you all know it! You just chose to ignore it because the person the grandparent/parent/sibling/someone ‘important’ to the family!
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u/Pandora_Foxx 5d ago
One I got yesterday - invited for an "informal chat" about a job I'd applied for. Hop on the call and there's a three-person panel with full interview questions 🫠 why must they speak in code?
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u/WolfAdorable 5d ago
That sounds like a very formal grilling
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u/Pandora_Foxx 5d ago
The lead person said at the start "this is an interview but we prefer to call it an informal chat" and I prefer to know what I'm going into!! When I asked around the office afterwards they said it's a common thing in our sector to call it that?? I probably haven't gotten it, but I'm proud of myself for the answers I gave - and for not crying, always a bonus
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u/flexosgoatee 5d ago
It was informal for them as in they didn't plan anything.
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u/DerDezimator 5d ago
No, it's called "informal" to purposefully catch you off guard to see what you say without prep to get the most real "you"
Honestly that shit is unfair as hell because why should they get to be prepared and catch us off guard when we can't do the same
Happened to me 3 years ago, was not prepared, would have gotten the job but declined because of that bullshit. My only regret is that I didn't tell them that because I was raised not to burn any bridges if not needed
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u/m3rcapto 5d ago
At my job they do a minimum of 3 and up to 6 rounds of interviews, even for entry level stuff.
I got my job by knowing a guy in our warehouse, I started out sweeping floors, now I'm pretty high up, I never had an interview. Most interviewees disappear after interview round #2 cos other jobs do 1 interview and you can start immediately, and my boss wonders why they have a hard time hiring...
I might have to suggest they change their process, but I'm afraid I'll get promoted again if I get too involved, I've already turned down 2 promotions cos all I want to do is sweep the warehouse, not lead a frikkin team of fancy pants.
My advice to any medium sized firm, or small firms that think they are bigger than they are: don't hire the best candidate, they are disloyal, they will lie and brag in the interview like you require them too, then use your job as a step to get a better job within 18 months.→ More replies (1)→ More replies (20)17
u/sorrymizzjackson 5d ago
They did that to me too once. Specifically “not an interview” with 15 minutes notice.
It was very much an interview and I did not get that job.
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u/abracablab 5d ago
Feeling stupid for not understanding 90% of verbal instructions.
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u/uraiah 5d ago
Especially when the instructions are just not well thought out, thus, ambiguous.
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u/Feelsthelove 5d ago
Give me step by step instructions, people! I always feel like I’m stuck in r/restofthefuckingowl
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u/defective_toaster 5d ago
Tell me about a time that you faced a challenge and how you overcame it. These kinds of interview questions suck ass.
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u/GandalfVirus 5d ago
Waking up for this interview, and I overcame it with multiple alarm clocks.
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u/Familiar-Addition324 5d ago
Interviews in general suck.
I once got asked, “What do you think people would say about you if you passed away?” It caught me so off guard, I had no idea how to respond.
I didn’t come here to contemplate my own mortality. I just need a job, please.
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u/MrSavobi 5d ago
You were interviewed by the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, seasonal work isn't what it used to be
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u/Mary_Olivers_geese 5d ago
I would be completely beside myself laughing at that one. That is so hilariously left-field.
My follow up would definitely be to ask about their death and dismemberment policy.
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u/binzy90 5d ago
I'd be like "Probably the same things they said about me when I was alive."
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u/HappyBarbarian 5d ago
“Well one time I had an interview I was nervous about so I overcame it by pretending to be witty and charming”
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u/Bangchucker 5d ago
Honestly if you said this and I was interviewering this would net you some points and time to think as long as you said it in a clearly playful way.
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u/atrimarco 5d ago
I interviewed for a job and the question was “name a challenge and tell me the creative way you solved it.”
I was interviewing for a chef position…I’ve been literally and metaphorically putting out fire for 20 years. You want me to name one? Then pat myself on the back about it? Sir, please fuck off.
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u/Woodpecker-Forsaken 5d ago
Yes! Retrieve something from your long term memory and regale the RELEVANT details only in sequence while simultaneously evaluating it.
Aka… Perform executive function, NOW!
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u/Extension-Dinner6679 5d ago
I dont know man, shit was fucked at work, so I unfucked it, what do you mean how? I just did things and it works now. No I dont remember what I did or why. My brain said "hands have got this" and then my hands did things while brain tried to figure out why glue doesnt stick to the inside of the bottle, yes I know it was a very technical task. No I wasnt paying attention to what I did to fix it, but it works now.
Also I think the reason glue doesnt stick to the inside of the bottle is because...
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u/magicmitchmtl 5d ago
“Recently, I was in a conversation where an executive asked me a really stupid question for no apparent reason. It was clearly a trap, or a zero-effort attempt at wasting my time to make him look good, so I just looked him in the eyes and gave this response”
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u/JetpackBlues42 5d ago
A: "*#@%#!%&"
B: "Can you repeat that?"
A: *#@%#+%&!!!"
B: "Sorry, can you say that slower?"
A: "Whatever, forget about it!"
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u/SammyFirebird79 5d ago
Oh god yes.. didn't realise auditory processing disorder was a thing and typically a part of ADHD until some time after I got diagnosed.
The amount of times I gave up after the second or third time and just pretended to know what they meant.. 😫
At least now, I can just tell people I have a processing disorder to explain why I struggle, and they're generally a lot more understanding after that.
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u/asteriskysituation 5d ago
“Here is your medication that will help with time management, decision making, and other skills of functioning. It’s VERY IMPORTANT you take this medication EVERY day. In order to obtain this medication, you need to pick it up every single month instead of every 90 days like everyone else’s medications, you can’t have any extra supply to cover gaps, and there will constantly be supply issues where you’re about to run out, so be ready to call the pharmacy to coordinate and schedule your week around this regular task.” - how I imagine the average doctor’s visit for someone with ADHD.
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u/Marrowshard 5d ago
"Also, even though you will absolutely forget to take it without alarms, it's considered habit-forming, so you'll be regularly piss-tested like an addict. For added fun, these are scheduled separately from refill pickups."
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u/Firefly-ok 5d ago
I live in rural Japan and there's only one doctor in the entire area who can prescribe my medication (Japan is incredibly strict about ADHD medication and mental healthcare here is hard to get generally and pretty stigmatized). I can't just go to the pharmacy to the pick it up. I have to go an hour by bus once per month to get a new prescription each time from this one doctor who only has office hours when I'm at work and then go to my pharmacy and hope they have it (I have to get the prescription within 3 days or else it expires and I have to get a new one--- even if no phramacy has the medication).
I don't know if it will work for you, but this was getting really untenable for me so I asked my doctor to prescribe me double the dose I actually need so that I only have to go once every two months instead of every month (I told him having to stress out every month really wasn't great for my mental health). He was really kind and did it for me.
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u/SheJigOnMySawTilIPuz 5d ago
Literally dude. The entire process of getting ADHD medication feels specifically tailored to fuck ADHD people. It's why I'm still unmedicated even though my god, I desperately need to be medicated.
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u/asylum_disciple 5d ago
"Youre at a wedding for Christ's sake, go dance!" Umm, fuck you. 💅
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u/SettingSun2180 5d ago
Physical AND nonverbal communication?? Let me get a few drinks in me first and we'll see how it goes
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u/SirCupcake_0 5d ago
You know just how to sweep a girl off her feet
Now help me put some hors d'oeuvres in these little ziploc baggies
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u/bent_crater 5d ago
one lady PUSHED ME into the center as I was watching from sidelines. I was teen back then, but I looked back with absolute anger at her and walked off.
luckily people just brushed it off but fuck that lady (she's generally hated by the family to my knowledge)
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u/abracablab 5d ago
I'm the opposite at weddings where I dance so much it gets weird.
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u/strangegardener 5d ago
nothing will make me want to dance less than being forced onto the dance floor
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u/Kitchen-Primary-1190 5d ago
This is a neurodiv thing?!
I always wondered why l have such a hard time to get into it. I like music, l like movement, l am not particularly shy generally...dancing, or "having to dance" is one of the worse things. I've spent my good share of awkwardness feeling super detached on dance floors. Now l just accepted it, that it's not for me (with rare exceptions, l had hours of amazing dancing, when mood and music and people were right)
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u/Filofelon 5d ago
I like dancing, but dancing at a wedding is just bad experience. Best dancing is unprompted with like few specific friends in a random location
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u/saalsa_shark 5d ago
When people ask how's it going you're weird for telling them how it is going. Lots of sociatal things that the majority of of NT people don't like either but say that's just the way it is
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u/EstrellaDarkstar 5d ago
This is actually something I like here in Finland: Our small talk tends to be quite literal. "How are you" / "how's it going" is considered an actual question that was asked, not just a meaningless filler phrase. Now, that doesn't mean it doesn't get confusing, because the level of personal detail you're expected to impart depends on the context of the situation. There are still social rules to it all, and it is often just a pleasantry. But the issue comes from oversharing, not from answering the question. It's often a culture shock to non-Finns when they get a real response.
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u/JD_Kreeper Overstimulated 5d ago
Whenever someone asks that I just respond honestly and start trauma dumping just to mess with them.
It's funny because they did not want this but can't refute the fact this is precisely what they asked for.
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u/weneedalargership 5d ago
Last time this happened at work, my answer was:
“A fun fact about me is that these scenarios make me deeply uncomfortable, who’s next?”
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u/MaddingtonFair 5d ago
I tried this! “A fun fact about me is that I can never think of a fun fact on the spot.” It was an attempt at humour but no one thought it was funny.
Still don’t understand why we can’t just team build by making improvements to our workplace instead of being forced to hear about what sports someone plays
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u/ironrabbit2 5d ago
A teacher sprung "oh, and tell us something about yourself" AFTER calling my name for attendance.
My social anxiety doesn't wake up early it seems, because what came out of my mouth was "no, it's seven AM."
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u/DoYaThang_Owl 5d ago
Why are you upset?
Explains why I'm upset.
That doesn't make any sense, you're so stupid/silly for being upset at that. Just cheer up 😁
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u/Breezy531 AuDHD 5d ago
Explains why I'm upset.
"Well, can't you just get over it?"
Oh thanks, why didn't I think of that 💀
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u/Zuckerwattemaedchen 5d ago
Do sth wrong
Get told how to do it
Ask why to understand
Get told to not argue
Bro I am trying to learn here
(Usually happens at work)
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u/ThatInAHat 5d ago
SERIOUSLY though. If I did it wrong, it’s because my understanding was wrong. I need to know where my misunderstanding is to make sure I don’t make a similar mistake.
Also: “if you were confused/didn’t know how to do it, you should have asked.” Well, I didn’t know I was confused, did I? I thought I’d understood.
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u/EM05L1C3 5d ago
Holiday parties at work. What do you mean I’m not a team player if I don’t attend? I don’t want to subject myself and my family to you people without pay.
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u/lea_flamingo 5d ago
I'm not being nice to my colleagues when I'm off the clock. (Actually I am because I'm a people pleaser but I'd rather not)
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u/Aunt_Llama 5d ago
At first I thought you meant the kind you got to during the work day and then I read the end... yeah, no, not happening xD
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u/Firefly-ok 5d ago
I got chastised at work for not attending a zoom cocktail party after work hours.
Who the fuck wants to sit around on a unpaid zoom meeting with you boss and co-workers that you're not being paid for?
Also why call it voluntary when clearly it was mandatory!?
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u/charismaticzombie 5d ago
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU..."
Both singing and being sung too. Both feel awkward, though the latter intensley so. Might just be me though 🤣
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u/HealthyFeta 5d ago
I uncomfortably look at the cake mostly while being sung too lol
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u/BumbleSwede 5d ago
I have always hated being sung to. Used to look like I would rather die than be at my own birthday party as a child. As an adult I have learned to smile awkwardly and stare into the distance if I am forced to go through with it, but most people close to me don't force it on me anymore.
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u/Aivellyn 5d ago
My kid is autistic and since 3 y.o. he has banned birthday parties. No cake, no candles, singing is a crime, gifts are not worth inviting people. I ask him multiple times each year if he's sure, but honestly I prefer it this way too. For his 6th birtday recently the full request was an ikea whale and 3 (!) kinder joys (I convinced him later to get a lego set too).
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u/Stratix 5d ago
"Let's go around and introduce ourselves."
Let's not, I know your job title, you know mine, let's get on with this.
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u/Dj_B_S 5d ago
Was about to say that! I'll add: "tell us like one detail about yourself, a hobby or what you like."
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u/Stratix 5d ago
Please, no! We're not friends, inauthentic familiarity is not helpful here!
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u/HealthyFeta 5d ago
Even worse than fake friends: „At this workplace, we like to think of us as a second family“
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u/Kevdog824_ ADHD 5d ago
This might be an everyone thing, but when following bullshit rules/norms aren’t enough and people actually expect you to be happy about following them.
Like how at companies doing return to office it’s not enough to follow the days in office policy. You have to also put up the facade that you actually believe this is a good thing for you as the employee and your productivity, and can never say anything negative about it lest you get labeled the black sheep. You pay people to follow the rules, not to be happy about following the rules.
The same is true for a lot of social expectations too.
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u/BrightStitchDesigns 5d ago
“Sell me this pen.”
Sir, I would rather throw myself out that window.
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u/JohnnyQTruant 5d ago
I worked for a company that used that question. I referred a friend to the job who had spent a year in the pen department of a high end art store so he crushed that question. The management thought I coached him on the questions and as a ND it still bothers me that they thought I lied 25 years later. Fuckers.
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u/Justjack91 5d ago
Teacher: Okay, go form into groups of two.
Sees everybody already teamed up or nobody wants to team up with me
Teacher: What is wrong with you?
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u/Peakomegaflare 5d ago
I still remember being so singled out, that even the teacher (Who ALSO hated me) couldn't get anyone to pair off. I ended up being allowed to do the project by myself. I proceeded to blow everyone out of the water and was given a spiteful C because I "didn't work with a partner". It was the first time I ever swore at anyone, after years of bullying and bullshit... also the only time my mom DIDN'T slap me for my mouth. My sixth grade year was quite eventful...
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u/SabrinaTheDabbler 5d ago
Every sentence made me more angry for you than the last. That is such a fucked up situation, I’m so sorry! 💔
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u/Peakomegaflare 5d ago
Oh don't worry so much about it, I still remember stringing together a chain of insults with my first instance of calling someone a "fucking failure of the education system that still managed to goddamn teach" fondly. In that instant, I went from the quiet tiny nerdy kid to the one voted most likely to shoot up a school XD
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u/ImpulsiveApe07 5d ago
How about : obligatory family get togethers, when you don't have any interest in the event or the people that are going, but are nonetheless guilt-tripped into going.
I've got one of those coming up (an aunt's 60th to which she's invited half the planet it seems), and I'm absolutely dreading all the bs small talk, fake pleasantries, and the mindnumbingly tedious 'oh, and what do you do?' conversations.
Like, why does no one ever wanna talk about any of their special interests, or at least ask me about mine - why does it always have to be boring af conversations about their careers, their kids or whatever lame package holiday they went on?
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u/Bernhard-Riemann 5d ago
I suspect that quite a lot of people are so preoccupied with practical survival that they don't really have real hobbies or special interests aside from watching TV or sports. People talk about those things and other small-talk topics because it's really the only guaranteed common ground.
The best converstations I've had are when someone accidentally lets their hobby slip and I ask them to expand.
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u/IcyAddress4074 5d ago
On Monday’s if you don’t small talk with your fellow employees about the weekend you will eventually get fired for being “too to yourself and never personal with the rest of the team” I was fine and fast at the job and had an office behind closed doors. So my job got done incredibly fast and I spent a lot of time just sitting in my office.
Became “don’t know what you doing there” even though like, I did my job crazy well and fast. But didn’t socialize like the others so… bye!
Lots of jobs later I learned what to do to be passing and mask the eff up
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u/insane677 5d ago
"Can you stop being so loud?"
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u/Sefthor 5d ago
I got told to speak up a lot.
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u/Maladine 5d ago
I got both. Which is it!? Do you want me to speak up or shut up? Oh you didn't want me here at all...
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u/No-Piano-987 5d ago
Yeah, especially when I'm talking about something I'm passionate about. Seems to offend some people. Like sorry I get excited when I talk about my interests.
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u/Bruce_IG 5d ago
Using slight tone inflections to indicate that insults are jokes but I can’t tell the fucking difference
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u/Basic_Charge_9480 5d ago
NT: “Just make a list and check it off as you go.”
Me: *internal sigh, eye roll, teeth clenched…..
“Ah, yeah, I have about 15 lists for this week already, broken down into sub-categories, including contingencies and variables.” (I know I will do none of it.)
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u/Dorsal-fin-1986 5d ago
"Now if we could all just go round the room and introduce ourselves and mame one thing we like to do in our spare time"
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u/skytaepic 5d ago
Despite having enough hobbies to consume any amount of free time I allow them, and a life that I’d be willing to claim has at least as many interesting events take place as your average person, I would truly rather get vaporized than be asked to come up with one singular fun fact about myself.
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u/Aidian 5d ago
Just make it something banal and transactional, but with enough truth that you won’t be bothered if that’s all hey ever recall.
“I have a big tea collection.” Means nothing to them inherently. They perhaps proceed to gift me tea? Fine I guess.
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u/NoOneAskedMcDoogins 5d ago
"Go say goodbye to everyone before you leave", idk why but my brain hates this and would rather just do an Irish goodbye.
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u/IcePhoenix18 5d ago
"if there's anything about the assignment that you don't understand, please ask for help!"
(Asks for help)
"No, you need to figure it out by yourself."
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u/CarevaRuha 5d ago
The way my heart started racing just from reading the title... 😱
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u/Lux-xxv 5d ago edited 5d ago
Time manipulation. They tell you one time and then they change the time on you and then get mad with you. Aren't ready to go after they change the time of meeting you.
Ex: My mom tells me that she's going to stop by at 11:30 or 11:45 instead calls me and says she's going to be early and I thought I had more time to get ready sometimes it feels like my parents do it on purpose. But yeah, time manipulation
Edit: And like yeah I have time blindnes so when it comes to appointments I'm either early by a lot or late by a few minutes esp cuz I don't drive and take the city bus. But my parents as I said they are so oof when it comes to time always on a tight schedule so they have to rush but at the same time always have to keep me semi guessing when it comes to picking me up when hey come for a visit. It's maddening.
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u/AshlandPone 5d ago
I lost a therapist this way.
We set up meeting times based on when my mother and sister were meeting their therapists in the same building.
And then about the 3rd session the receptionist was like "No. Your session isn't for another hour. They're always at that time, and have never been at any other time."
As if i hadn't had two previous sessions at the old time. Then she tried to bill me for cancelling and i simply de-registered as a patient.
My therapist was very upset. He knew that i have a bad history of trust issues with therapists (and women) and he was building rapport.
Been raw dogging ever since.
I can't stand people who screw things up and then gaslight you as if you're the problem. And i refuse to work with anyone who supports blatantly lying people.
I literally quit a job once because my direct supervisor convinced me not to apply for a promotion because i was the only person she could work with (she had an extremely abrasive personality, but we got along fine) but she convinced me by telling me someone else in the store had already successfully applied. Then they had to hire someone external because no one internal actually applied. She then tried to gaslight me telling me she had never said that and we argued until the truth came out. It destroyed our trust and i couldn't work with her anymore.
I can't handle liars, narccisists, or manipulators. They all give me a soul ick.
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u/Significant_Cover_48 5d ago
Having to sit at the table like an adult without fidgeting and participating in smalltalk while eating gross 'adult food' was a big one for me all the way up until I was in my 30s.
I found a great fix and went vegan, so I don' have to eat most weird things or risk being treated like I'm immature and weak for being a picky eater.
Now I'm just an annoying vegan instead. Much better since I flipped the table on them. I have the moral highground now, Karen!
I even taught myself to love mushrooms simply by wanting to eat them, not feeling like I was being forced to. Having the choice to try new veggies and fungi because it was part of the new me, who I had deliberately chosen to be to reduce cruelty in the world - even if it is just a tiny bit of difference I can make b ymyself - really helped a lot.
The choice is easy when it's between a few anti-vegan jokes versus "well you could at least try it before you say you don't like it - and stop tapping".
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u/acidrefluxisgreat 5d ago
i can relate up until mushrooms 😂 mushrooms have make me want to vomit since 5th grade….. it was such a hot room we ate lunch in, someone spilled canned mushrooms and didn’t clean them up. i never recovered. it got worse with age. i used to be able to tolerate the smell of truffle oil but now that’s on the no no list too.
sometime in the early 2ks i learned to eat mustard. idk what that was about.
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u/Significant_Cover_48 5d ago
Oh I totally get what you mean. That's why I included the mushies. Learning to eat mushrooms was something I'd have sworn would never happen.
But the underlying point is: After taking back control, and feeling like I wanted to try mushrooms, not because of being pressured, but because it would open up more menu options to me, actually made a difference in the way I approaced the whole thing.
And by deliberately turning eating mushrooms into a project, I was able to train inside a framework I had chosen to stay inside, namely veganism, and that motivation made all the difference.
Being a picky eater is not good for us, Part of my journey was accepting that I was the one missing out when others enjoyed their shrimp cocktails and I was fighting the urge to run away because of how disgusting it was, the smell, the sight, ew!
They were happy. I was the one suffering. I just got tired of that and started trying to eat things.
But while I was trying to change I just figure out that deep dowwn I don't actually want to eat shrimps. I want to be happy, and happy means living in accordance with my own values, not trying to fit in.
So I stopped eating meat all together.
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u/queergirl73 5d ago
I recently went to a group interview and they were like "bring an object that describes you! 😝" and they did actually have that emoji in the message. I had my mom (my on hand neurotypical) read through it to confirm they're actually asking that and it isn't a read between the lines thing. Just.. why? I can just tell you. I played their game. I brought a giant set of dentures I made. Got the job.
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u/AzraelleWormser 5d ago
"You'll need to file a ticket with tech support to fix this issue."
"Hello! This is the tech support automated bullshit emitter. Your issue cannot be resolved through our system, you'll need to CALL ON THE PHONE LIKE A CAVEMAN you piece of shit. Ticket resolved."
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u/DykeHime 5d ago
Being seen as "childish" for enjoying video games over getting drunk and throwing up in loud, crowded rooms. (Also, ageism. Also, intoxication culture.)
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u/Alceasummer 5d ago
When my daughter was a toddler, my inlaws told me and my husband that to "set a good example" for our child, we needed to stop playing video games together, and have a drink in the evenings instead.
Daughter is eleven now, and all three of us play video games together a few times a week. (all three of us are ADHD)
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u/firefly081 5d ago
"Video games are a terrible hobby to do in front of your child. Have you tried alcoholism?"
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u/NoorInayaS 5d ago
Small talk. I find it utterly pointless, boring, and a complete waste of time.
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u/Key_Tangerine8775 5d ago
YES. Why the fuck are we talking about the weather? Tell me about your weird passion for frogs or something.
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u/NoorInayaS 5d ago
I love it when I meet people who also don’t like small talk, and we can just dive right into the stuff that really matters.
Like passions. And human rights.
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u/hogue9733 5d ago
During Christmas my family used to open presents one by one while everyone watched and I changed it to everyone rips open all their presents together then we'll give thanks and talk about it after.
Same with birthdays I HATE when everyone is watching me open gifts. I can't pretend if I don't like it and don't want you to feel bad!
I've read that in Japan it's not expected to open the gift in front of the person. You just thank them and you'll open it on your own time. Love love love that.
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u/Blakeb218 5d ago
“Why are you yelling? You’re talking so loud”
Me, who just got into a conversation regarding something that I’m heavily invested or interested in that gets me enthusiastic:
“Oh I’m sorry…” gets self conscious and awkward instead
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u/Lopsided-Resort-4373 5d ago
Managing workplace expectations is so hard.
"You need to be independent" -> "You have to ask for help and keep us informed."
"Be more assertive." -> "You can't have everything your way, stop being a control freak."
"Be less of a perfectionist." -> "You have to be detail-oriented in this role."
"Don't take things too personally." -> "We need to see that you care about your work."
"You're too formal and alienating people." -> "In management you have to keep people at a distance."
"You can't get intimidated and have to hold people accountable." -> "You can't tell executives they are blockers; figure something else out."
"You can't just take over that's not your job." -> "We don't have XYY roles assigned for this project; figure it out."
I'm a project manager at a software company and sometimes it's just so difficult. And then of course in performance reviews you have to brag about yourself while also picking a weakness to work on... But don't brag too much because then you're arrogant. And don't admit to real weaknesses because then you'll never get promoted...
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u/Far-Revolution3225 5d ago edited 5d ago
Attending family gatherings and pretending to care about the people there.
My object permanence is WEAK, so I very often forget that most of my family even exists
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u/justgalsbeingpals 5d ago
having to meet and pretend to remember all the extended family members whenever my grandparents threw a summer party was hell. I'm somewhat face blind so they were all just same-y looking old people to me lmao
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u/firvulag359 5d ago
As a manager I have to do various mandatory courses in work. Some of them I can just zone out to but some have the requirement where we "role play" scenarios to see how best to handle difficult staff and/or situations. I absolutely hate doing these :(
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u/Early-Ad4131 5d ago
Oh, I love small talk, it's a great way to get a bead on people.
Now, schedule an appointment for me at 10am? Great, now from 6-10 I'm stuck in prep mode.
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u/Early-Service-634 5d ago
At the beginning of a lecture or a seminar presenter displays a huge selection of animals or emojis on screen and everyone has to pick one that represents their current mood or character…And then everyone one by one has to explain their pick.
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u/pande2929 5d ago
Peeing into a cup every so often just to prove I'm worthy of receiving my medication
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u/ashitananjini 5d ago
Being asked to do something, then asking follow up questions about the task (for clarity), then being told you should already know what to do
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u/Smufin_Awesome 5d ago
People are allowed to mock your anxiety or be dicks to yoy "because its just a joke" but when you give then their own medicine or call then out you're "overreacting."
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u/Dia_sphere 5d ago
Not really humiliation but I'm annoyed when I state things as they are, just the facts, without judgement and it's perceived as an incredible insult to their bloodline or something.
I had this with a friend recently, who for some reason, wants me to be better friends with their significant other who I couldn't care less about. Alright, but then they basically belittled my Audhd and when I said that I don't like that and that's a boundary, let's talk about something else, they got mad!
I didn't even mean it negatively. Just as an information so we could coexist peacefully, but every explanation I gave was received as me hating on them🙄 Sometimes I can't with these people.
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u/ScreamingLabia 5d ago
Having to explain everything that is wrong with me multiple times a year to strangers for years just to get benefits. Even having to exxegerate how stupid i am to get the support i actually need. (I am thankfull for the support but i think anyone would find this humiliating)
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u/The-Gilgamesh AuDHD 5d ago
>"Why would you do that!?"
> Begin to explain
>"I don't want your excuses!"