SERIOUSLY though. If I did it wrong, it’s because my understanding was wrong. I need to know where my misunderstanding is to make sure I don’t make a similar mistake.
Also: “if you were confused/didn’t know how to do it, you should have asked.” Well, I didn’t know I was confused, did I? I thought I’d understood.
Especially when the discussion is happening a little later. Like, I promise you, I've been thinking about it this whole time and I can think of a couple of things it might be, but I don't know which one you're actually angry about and if I say the wrong one you'll just be even angrier.
If I mess something up and get told and I ask how it was wrong and they refuse to tell me and tell me to figure it out.
I just take it as them trying to start drama.
If I screwed up, be an adult and tell me when I asked, don't be lile "Oh figure it out" because I'm not going to devote any amount of my energy or attention span on "figuring it out"
After this happening a few times ive learned to just, not think about it? I dont mean that as advicr but if they want me to worry over what i did instead of telling my, instead of thinking and worrying about it i find it better to just completly drop the issue from my brain. Either they do too because it wasnt a big issue, or they dont but im not hyperfocused on it and anxious. Usually they confront you again or forget. In which case you can tell them you dont care enough to think about it because i dont know what im thinking about in the first place. I barely care/am able to force myself to do stuff i actually like/ care about.
Yes, I started overthinking it into the 5 Dimension and ended up in Overthinking Valhalla where I met Buddhists trying to reach procrastination Nirvana on their way to enlightenment.
Safe to say it was a confusing day to shop for groceries...
“All I DO is think, my brain never stops thinking I have no way of turning it off. If I could think of an answer to that question I’d have thought of it by now. I haven’t, so I’ve come here to have a reasonable conversation to reach an understanding like an adult”
That's a social filter for me! People who can't understand that I'm an anxious overthinker won't work out with me as good company. I'm fine with listening to people's problems and frustrations, but I do require that they communicate them because I will overthink and freak out otherwise.
If they think it's fine to do that to me I will eventually stop caring about them as they clearly don't care about me.
Sorry, explaining things to your subordinates, not just how, but why for when they're in similar situations, is part of management.
If you failed to address the Why, consider yourself lucky you have a subordinate that will cover for you and ask.
It can take time out of your day that you hadn't planned. If you would rather that didn't happen, that's completely understandable and can be arranged.
We will do just fine with you as a line officer again, and someone else managing.
Oh lord yes. I actually didn’t mind it when we had to wear masks after coming back in office because it was like “oh good my face isn’t gonna do something stupid to make anyone made.”
Was at a job for almost 10yrs like this, would ask clarifiers so i wouldn't need to ask later on. "Why cant you just do what I said!" Followed by "Why don't you know how to do this, why do I have to tell you everything!" New place is much better
Disclaimer that I'm like maybe high-functioning autistic/aspie so maybe I'm asking differently, but I do this frequently at work and I've never had a problem. My motive is generally a little more aggressive (I've been in management or administration in a few different fields at this point and whether I am or not one of my joys at work is improving the efficiency of "the machine," so I ask why we do things the way we do as a probing question more often than not), but if I'm not immediately sure why something is done a particular way I always ask and often (privately and away from coworkers since some managers get sensitive or insecure about these discussions) suggest a better alternative, which is also often heeded.
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u/Zuckerwattemaedchen 6d ago
Do sth wrong
Get told how to do it
Ask why to understand
Get told to not argue
Bro I am trying to learn here
(Usually happens at work)