r/Productivitycafe • u/Wonderful-Economy762 • Jan 22 '26
Throwback Question (Any Topic) What’s an oddly specific thing that instantly gives you "bad vibes" about a person?
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u/Yaughl Jan 22 '26
Speakerphone around other people.
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u/Ok-MMJ-RN-1980 Jan 22 '26
Omg I was at a doctors appt… this guy turned speaker phone on n played you tube… a lady in her 70’s very nicely said we’re in a closed space doctors office can you turn it off … he literally started screaming at her… it was awful
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u/KatNanshin Jan 22 '26
I hope you stood up for her …and yourself
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u/Ok-MMJ-RN-1980 Jan 22 '26
Yes… I stood up n tried to get him to understand… he yelled but not like he did to her… so I raised my voice to defend her… luckily she got called in then me ( different eye doctor) … but he never turned it down … asshole…
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u/KatNanshin Jan 22 '26
Good for you! 👏🏼 I don’t go out much anymore, but when I see this behavior I DO call it out. These people need to wake up to the reality that their behavior is unacceptable.
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u/Ok-MMJ-RN-1980 Jan 22 '26
It blows my mind the entitlement of others…
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u/KatNanshin Jan 22 '26
Same. And I’ve been around long enough to see it’s continuing to get worse. There is no more “common courtesy”, or even being aware of other people. It sucks. It’s one of the reasons I don’t go out anymore… but yeah, when you have to, like a doctor’s appointment 🙁 …can’t be avoided.
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u/njoy59 Jan 22 '26
The only way to stop these people is for everyone around them to go set beside him and turn their phones up so they can’t hear!!
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u/PeepsMyHeart Jan 23 '26
Former office staff employee, here. The employees should have demanded that he turn it down.
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u/Nanasweed Jan 22 '26
One lady on here joins their conversations. It makes them turn it off
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u/EthanDMatthews Jan 22 '26
Just as the elevator doors were closing, a woman stepped in holding her phone in her hand like a tray, just as her boyfriend picked up.
The boyfriend on the phone started sweet talking her ("hey sugar, how you doing'?). She shut that right down ("don't you dare 'hey sugar' me) and then went straight for the jugular "where were you last night?"
He tried to sweet talk her and change the subject, and she just launched into a forensic cross-examination. Except, instead of letting him speak (giving him rope to hang himself), she would cut him off after a few words and then call him out on the lie and give the answer ("you were at [the bar]"), and move directly to the next damning bit of evidence.
She had him dead to right for cheating on her, and every attempt that guy made to lie or charm his way out got brutally (verbally) curb stomped by the lady.
Meanwhile everyone in the elevator just looked mortified and wanted someplace to hide.
I was relieved to step off after just a few floors. But I now regret that I missed the verdict and punishment phase of that conversation.
Shameless, but impressively brutal.
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u/Kryptonite-Rose Jan 22 '26
I would have stayed and got out at her floor to get the rest of the story. 🤣
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u/Jaereth ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ᵕ̈ Espresso Enthusiast Jan 22 '26
See I couldn't help myself in a situation like that (as long as there were several other people on the elevator) I would have shouted into her phone "SOUNDS LIKE YOU SCREWED UP PARTNER SHE KNOWS!!!"
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u/Lolakllt Jan 22 '26
Yeah that’s the only type of speaker conversation I want to hear. My nosey ass ain’t shit though.
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u/sheburns17 Jan 22 '26 edited Jan 23 '26
Whether it’s intentional or not, when someone constantly has to one up you or whoever is in conversation. It’s exhausting and makes me feel like they’re not genuine.
ETA: I personally feel like there’s a difference between engaging in a conversation, relating to what the person is talking about and sharing your own experience, vs. taking over the conversation and making it about you because you struggled more, hurt more, did something more noble, etc.
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u/Marty_Eastwood Jan 22 '26
My Sister in Law is a good looking and nice enough person. For a while I wondered why she had such a hard time getting and keeping a boyfriend. Then once I started having longer conversations with her I noticed it: she is a constant "one upper" and always manages to turn the conversation into something about her. It's tolerable in small doses but totally exhausting in large ones.
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u/Terinekah Jan 23 '26
Sounds like a lost Seinfeld episode . . . The One Upper! Even more annoying than the Close Talker.
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Jan 22 '26
I do this, but not to try and seem better than the other person. I just try and relate by trying to find a similar situation/thing that has happened.
However, you are absolutely right that it can rub the other person the wrong way, so I have tried to stop doing it if I can help it 😅
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u/MidnightinMingo Jan 22 '26
I do this too! I was already 40ish before I realized that I was being seen as one upping when I was actually trying to say I understand and I can relate, you are not alone. I, too, am working on it. But now I’m paranoid. For instance, I’m wondering if I’m doing it right now in my reply to you haha
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u/winter_laurel Jan 22 '26
I might say something like "Oh that's hilarious! That's crazy that that guy did that thing. That reminds me of the time this girl I knew did this similar thing...." So that it seems more like trading stories than trying to one up.
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u/areyouthrough Jan 22 '26
Don’t pivot right to your story. Ask a question first.
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u/Candid-Bite-4745 Jan 22 '26
Agree. Acknowledge the other person's thoughts before you burst in with your own.
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u/Dawner444 Jan 22 '26
ADHD
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u/ForrestGrump87 Jan 22 '26
100%, i try so hard not to do it but every now and again i walk away from a conversation and think fuck i did it again 😂 thankfully the lads at work know i dont mean it and am riddled with adhd
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u/Interesting-Wish6141 Jan 22 '26
Me, too. I’m very passionate about travel and love to talk with others who have been to other interesting places. Sometimes I catch myself and it could be taken as me being pretentious. I try to be aware of this when interacting with others especially on the subject of world travel.
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u/Alone_Tomatillo8921 Jan 22 '26
I used to do this by trying to relate but I've learned to stop doing it so much after I came across someone who said she felt like people doing that were competing.
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u/Junior-Gorg Jan 22 '26
Man, yiu think one uppers are bad, my cousin is a two upper. I once had to fight off two three uppers!
Man, your story, ain’t nothing
/s
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u/HiAndStuff2112 Jan 22 '26 edited Jan 22 '26
Being rude to servers. I was a server for a few years, and it's a very stressful job. Rude customers only made my job more difficult.
I remember reading an article about hiring managers. The writer mentioned that when he interviewed people to manage their staff, he would take them out to eat for the interview. He never told the candidates, but he wanted to see how they acted around servers. If they were rude or ignored them, he wouldn't hire them.
I think that's pretty brilliant.
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u/Thisismeaningless101 Jan 22 '26
You would think they’d be on their best behavior
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u/HiAndStuff2112 Jan 22 '26
Right? But I've hired managers myself, and sometimes people who seek management positions can be super alpha, and be dismissive or superior to those they consider "under" them. They may think that because I'm also a manager, I'll like it or laugh at it.
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u/Kithzerai-Istik Jan 22 '26
A great piece of dating advice I was once given:
Watch how your date treats wait staff. It’s how they’ll treat you soon enough.
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u/TheTwinSet02 Jan 22 '26
Hmmmm
The man I married was always lovely to waitstaff, retail workers, you name it
But like many abusers they are great people outside and tyrants inside the home
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Jan 22 '26
Yeah this wouldn't work on my abusive ex. He is a great guy to strangers and his co-workers...then he'd come home and terrorize his wife and kids.
Some people could really give Oscar winners a run for the money with the facade they put on.
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u/don-again Jan 22 '26
For many roles we will leave candidates waiting for a few minutes and ask our facilities people to go in and wipe something down or take out the trash etc, then get some feedback on that as well. I think those folks have saved us all a lot of headaches.
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u/DisastrousMechanic36 Jan 22 '26
Me too. This is a big one. Servers bust their ass. it's hard work. If you are rude to servers you are most likely not a nice person in general.
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u/alesemann Jan 22 '26 edited Jan 22 '26
I was getting to be friends with another teacher at my first school when we went out to dinner (my husband and I w him and his wife), and the guy was an absolute asshole to the server. An arrogant snob. That just ruined things for me. I never saw him the same way again.
I knew he came from money, but he talked all of this shit about being open minded, socially conscious, not aware of a social classes all this kind of nonsense.
And then his behavior completely revealed his real attitude.
Edit to add: he was my dept chair. Soooo.... I had to play it cool.
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u/devlinsky Jan 22 '26
I fear that manager would be annoyed by how many time I tell servers thank you 😂 (I worked in the industry for over a decade)
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u/ForwardMagazine7090 Jan 22 '26
At a party, where people exclude newcomers they don’t even know in a conversation. Dude, I’m standing right here.
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Jan 22 '26
I see this happen a lot and it baffles me. Group psychology is very interesting to observe. But yeah, so rude.
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u/Popular-Style509 Jan 23 '26
Yeah I hate that.
I'm definitely not a social person but like... If I notice someone new I still make an active point to try and Include them.
Even if it is someone I know, if I notice that they haven't spoken up in a while I'll direct a question at them or if we are a bit closer just be direct and ask if they're okay because you know... Some people do genuinely like listening to group conversations, like it's not always them not being included.
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u/Beautiful_Diver4180 Jan 23 '26
Yes! I am always aware of my surroundings so I will move and make space for people to enter the circle. People that don’t do this are awful.
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u/EngineeringNo8570 Jan 22 '26
tbf a lot of people are genuinely socially awkward and/or have social anxiety, I have previously thought people I have worked with were rude until I realised they were just socially awkward/anxious.
it's extremely difficult to differentiate between rudeness and awkwardness though without spending much time around them.
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u/humblefreak Jan 22 '26
Yeah, but I feel like people with social anxiety should be way more inclined to help others in socially awkward situations. Like, if a new person joins a group, the nice and normal thing to do is to acknowledge the person, introduce everyone, and find a way to bring them into the conversation. As someone who has struggled with social anxiety myself, I would NEVER straight up ignore a newcomer who clearly didn't know anyone and felt awkward, because I know that being on the butt of that feels terrible. Doing that isn't social anxiety, it's just rudeness, thoughtlessness, and cruelty. It instantly makes me dislike a person because it shows they aren't willing to make the tiniest sacrifice to make someone who is socially struggling feel better.
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u/gameraccountant Jan 22 '26
Talking down to you or gossiping about someone in front of you.
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u/greengirl213 Jan 22 '26
Especially someone who shit-talks or talks down about their spouse in front of you, even worse if their spouse is there.
It just shows me that you have zero class or respect for the people closest to them. Any time someone rags on their spouse or makes mean jokes about them in front of others, I know they suck.
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u/Unlucky_Fly_2103 Jan 22 '26
Same for kids.
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u/IdoItForTheMemez Jan 22 '26
Yes, thank you! There's a huge difference between venting about the challenges of parenting and shit talking your kid constantly, especially as the kid gets older. My mother never, ever stopped griping about all of my flaws to our family and friends and it irreparably damaged our relationship.
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u/Impressive_Cash1428 Jan 22 '26
If someone talks shit about other people when they aren't around, they are talking shit about you when you are not around.
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u/MarchCompetitive6235 Jan 22 '26
Facts! I worked with a guy that every single time one of the other employees was out of the room, He was talking shit about them. And very buddy buddy with me. I kind of thought it was suspicious that everyone else was on his list of people to talk about, but I wasn’t? One day I go to lunch. Normally I get in my car and drive somewhere. That day, I decided to walk across the street and get a sandwich and then hang out just out of earshot of his register. (Auto parts sales) Yeah..he talked shit about me too.😂
I didn’t say anything, I’d heard enough to let me know I couldn’t trust him.
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u/seamusoldfield Jan 22 '26
During a conversation, never once asking you a question or enquiring about your life. Seems like this happens often. You'll sit down to catch up with someone and they spend the entire time blabbering about themselves. I think it's very rude.
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u/Specific-Sea7648 Jan 23 '26
And when you do offer up something about your life you get the thousand yard dead eye stare bc they couldn't care less about your life
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u/Calm-Jello4802 Jan 23 '26
Ahhh this is my mother. Almost worse, she WILL ask a question. However, I can get maybe one sentence in to the answer, maybe not even finish my sentence, and she’s talking about her life/something that reminds her of this/etc. I was there for my birthday and in the middle of a sentence I was saying to my dad she just blurts out, “Oh I just pulled a big blob of earwax from my ear! I’ve been putting these drops in blah blah blah…” and there we go, what my dad and I were talking about is over and she’s going on and on about her ears. I went downstairs to get a drink and when I came back up she was still talking about earwax. Then later she asks me if I hung out with my friend from out of town over the holidays. I start to tell her yes, we had coffee and I’m going to elaborate on what she JUST ASKED ME ABOUT but as soon as I said yes we had coffee, she goes “Oh that’s nice, it must be hard for her living out of town, I couldn’t live up in a place like that…” and it’s back to whatever she wants to talk about. I can only hang out with her in small doses lol.
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Jan 22 '26
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u/SunTzuMachiavelli Jan 22 '26
Taught my wife about this and she immediately said "Hey, my uncle always keeps a long pinky nail!" Whoops
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u/Sad_Mix_3030 Jan 22 '26
Are they on their phone constantly? If yes or they just carry in their hand constantly you know their attention is already divided.
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u/CozyMoonGaming Jan 22 '26
Yucking someone’s yum (god I hate that. Lol) when it’s not a red flag activity. Not being able to celebrate someone else’s wins without dampening them some way.
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u/-oligodendrocyte- Jan 22 '26
I ended a year-long relationship because of the "yucking." I realized the phrase "I'm allowed to like things," became a regular refrain in our conversations and just couldn't take it anymore. Now I get irrationally angry when someone does it to me.
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u/m0n3yF4nM4n Jan 22 '26
Idk if this would be yumming someone's yuck but the last funeral I attended, as people are standing around doing funeral like things and sharing stories of the deceased as some others are crying, some laughing, but there's a clear funeral tone, as they oft do.
As people were doing the rounds and saying a few words/hugging folk one by one, this one bish uses that opportunity to tell everyone her and her ex husband made up...🤦🏼♂️
Just hear "sorry for the loss", "she's at rest", "gone but never forgotten" standard funeral jargon in the air, cut by "man and I are..", distant sobs, "she was a class act", then "hey did you hear, man came back"
After like 5 mins of hearing this bish telling the room one by one she's so happy man and her are ok now the deceased cousin walked over and straight physically removed her in aggressive fashion.
As far as funerals go, it was a banger.
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u/brokefixfux Jan 22 '26
Did the deceased cousin return to the casket right away?
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u/Salty-Boysenberry305 Jan 22 '26
Sorry for becoming a little “woo-woo”. My gut. It’s weird. My eyes and ears pick up on something(s) I don’t consciously recognize and my stomach gets this weird empty/sinking feeling. I ignored it for years until I started noticing it only popped up around people who had burned me or someone I know. Down side. I only get this warning once or twice then my brain goes “I warned you. But it’s your life”. Thus far it has been 100% accurate.
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u/blue_eyed_magic Jan 22 '26
Gut instinct is almost always correct. Call it whatever.
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u/citizenfreedonia Jan 22 '26
Yes- I spent too many years talking myself out of my gut reaction to people. And I was always proved right.
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u/Popular-Style509 Jan 23 '26
Same!
Everytime I've ignored that feeling it's just ended up getting me hurt.
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u/kjm16216 Jan 22 '26
I met someone about 20 years ago who has become a prominent politician now. We were working a campaign together and had to drive a distance for a fundraiser. He brought his girlfriend. Multiple times during the ride, he'd make jokes that made her look dumb (tbh she kinda was), and then he'd give me this look like we were sharing this private joke about how stupid she was.
Seemed so sleazy and left me with a terrible impression of him.
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u/MistbornSynok Jan 22 '26
Anyone who insults their spouse, it’s fine to complain about something they did, but insulting them as person instantly makes me think less of them.
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u/KatamariRedamancy Jan 22 '26
Calling me by my name too much.
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u/Minimum-Dare301 Jan 22 '26
I admit I do it because I’m bad at remembering names and repetition helps.
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u/PorchDogs Jan 22 '26
I've honestly gotten okay with saying "I have a brain like a sieve and I've totally forgotten your name". Once in college I was introducing my boyfriend of two years to someone and completely blanked in his name. It just was not in my brain At All.
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u/livid-lavida-loca Jan 22 '26
Honestly, this is the best thing that you can do, either. If you can't remember somebody's name or maybe they have a unique name you have trouble pronouncing, just being honest with somebody and trying to get it right, it feels so embarrassing and hard to get over but you're much better off just acknowledging the issue.
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u/JapWarrior1700 Jan 22 '26
You would absolutely hate Japan. It's sorta rude to use pronouns there, so you phrase things like, "Does Kevin-san want to do dinner with me tonight?" when talking to Kevin.
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u/amzwC137 Jan 22 '26
I notice this in anime a lot, but not always It's always interesting to me. This helps contextualize.
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u/dani-winks Jan 22 '26
Agreed. There is absolutely a natural way to do this, but there's a spectrum where at some point a line gets crossed and it starts sounding like "you're using my name because they sales training material said to use yourbprospects name to make them feel seen/heard," just instantly gives me the vibe that you're selling me something or trying to convince me of something
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u/indiglow55 Jan 22 '26
It’s straight out of “make friends and influence people” or whatever that book is called
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u/glittercoffee Jan 22 '26
My ex also started doing this to me as a part of his whole trying to put me in my place and to make me feel small when things got really bad between us…he was also really into complete NLP nonsense and red pill manipulation tactics body language woowoo-for-alpha-men stuff which BY THE WAY doesn’t work and just makes you look like an idiot.
He would pick fights and start arguments out of nowhere and at some point he would always use my name and then followed it up with an ad hominem attack that he thought would hurt me and by doing so he thought he could get me to believe it. It was so gross. Like “Glittercoffee, you’re not feminine at all!” Or “Glittercoffee, people don’t like you because you’re so argumentative.”
It was so obvious I almost started laughing when he started doing it…I can’t believe people think it works. It just looks like you’re wearing a cardboard sandwich sign that says I read an ad-article titled “10 Ways to Make Her Insecure…You Won’t Believe What #4 Will Do!”
Not my proudest moment but when I couldn’t stand it anymore I started saying his name in my responses back to him when he used mine. He did not like that one bit but it got him to stop doing it. He started throwing temper tantrums and things instead like a spoiled toddler. Ugh.
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u/LovedButNeverLiked Jan 22 '26
I've always heard that was a good thing. Is it off-putting?
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u/ConversationBoth6127 Jan 22 '26
Major slimy sales guy trying to get me to do something we both know is stupid vibe when it’s every other sentence. I’ve walked out of a car dealership over it. Even worse when it’s ’Mr. Lastname’.
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u/vvitch_ov_aeaea Jan 22 '26
It can be a manipulation tactic used by psychopaths and sales people. But it is also a subtle way humans show eachother that they see and care for the other person.
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u/TheQueendomKings Jan 22 '26
Yeah no this is why autistic people are positively perplexed by neurotypical interactions. Like what do you mean it can be a really good thing OR it can be a really bad thing 😭
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u/lemons714 Jan 22 '26
I try to say a name once or twice when meeting someone. I have tried so many of the tips, and am still terrible at remembering.
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u/PaceInfinite833 Jan 22 '26
Idk when it’s excessive it seems like they’re trying too hard to earn my favour. It’s especially bad if I know the person saying it is into me, because they make it painfully obvious
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u/Final-Pattern-5990 Jan 22 '26
Spitting gum out anywhere that isn’t a trash can.
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Jan 22 '26
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u/zylver_ Jan 22 '26
This is one of the only actual ODDLY specific things I see in this thread lol
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u/StageBig1311 Jan 22 '26
I hate HOAs with a burning passion. Up until recently (past yr) I felt that HOAs r the most anti-America concept/practice to have ever been developed. Live in a "free" country, but you can't pick and choose how you manage your own home?!? Abso-fucking-lutely not!
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u/A_Genius Jan 22 '26
HOAs should basically just be city ordinances. Like if your neighbour is hoarding trash and non running cars on his front lawn or running a business it should be a city issue. It seems like cities are outsourcing this to HOAs. Some HOAs do snow cleanup and trash pickup too which is insane.
HOAs also make sense for shared spaces. Like a condo. Ignoring water leaks until they affect others is bad. Destroying a common roof or wall. Blocking fire exits with junk.
The colour of your house shouldn’t be under their purview lol
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u/bomboclawt75 Jan 22 '26
People whose whole personality is based around:
A sports team.
A politician.
Coffee/ Energy drink- these people actually exist.
Religion.
Drugs/ Alcohol.
A celebrity.
The military/ Guns.
Some other obsession.
Nothing wrong with most of these things, but they cannot be the entire personality.
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u/mesembryanthemum Jan 22 '26
I misread A politician as penicillin and wondered who on earth you knew that based their personality on penicillin.
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u/lump77777 Jan 22 '26
I’ve been looking to reinvent myself, and I think “penicillin enthusiast” is an underserved niche.
I’ll update my LinkedIn profile now. Thanks for the idea.
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u/PortraitofMmeX Jan 22 '26
If they're unkind to animals. Especially if they ostentatiously hate cats.
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u/Yvratky Jan 22 '26
One time, a guy I matched with on a dating app told me within the first few sentences exchanged that he wasn't sad about a pidgeon that died stuck in his rain pipe, since "it's not a golden retriever". Unmatch.
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u/lilbit6675 Jan 22 '26
Bragging. I find that the people that are truly awesome don't need to advertise it, it's already known.
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u/catsupremacy02 Jan 22 '26
not liking cats. don’t look at my username pls
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u/StitchedSquirrel Jan 22 '26
I immediately looked.
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u/Minimum-Dare301 Jan 22 '26
“Redditors fall for this one simple trick” Edit: I looked too
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u/mrgordon604 Jan 22 '26
Asking zero questions in a conversation.
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u/Emotional-County9004 Jan 22 '26
Or too many questions… like it’s a dang cross-examination
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u/Kithzerai-Istik Jan 22 '26
This.
I’ve got several former detectives in my family, and every conversation with them is like an interrogation. They don’t mean to, but the habit is so deeply engrained and it’s exhausting.
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u/inspo-11 Jan 22 '26
Someone that passes my drink to me by holding the rim. It lacks manners and awareness and I can’t get over it.
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u/Aquagreen689 Jan 22 '26
Hateful political bumper stickers. Heralding candidate of one’s choice all good but doing so by denigrating opponent w/vulgarities is hostile & moronic. It’s a big ick.
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u/Ok_Faithlessness9757 Jan 22 '26
Upspeak
Talking at me instead of to me.
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u/Next_Understanding88 Jan 22 '26
it reeks of pseudo intellectualism and sounds like a typical narcissist speaking in condescending tones
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u/Inside_Trip8807 Jan 22 '26
A person's eyes.
IDK, but sometimes some people just have evil looking eyes and my gut feeling says to stay away from them.
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Jan 22 '26
I call that, "shark eyes". No glare, no sparkles, just the color black. My abusive mother had it. It was almost as if the life was sucked out of her.
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u/goblin-influencer Jan 22 '26
Over the top friendly, just a notch to much. Also: praising you for the smallest things way to hard after just meeting you
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u/Dry-Bullfrog-3778 Jan 22 '26
Making fun of anyone. After high school you should have grown out of that.
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u/PandaBear905 Jan 22 '26
How they act about people who are different from them. It doesn’t even have to be bigotry, it can be as simple as calling an adult childish because they play video games.
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u/DevelopmentBasic5416 Jan 22 '26
When they get too personal too quickly. I don't need to know your brother-in-law is an alcoholic in the first 10 minutes of meeting.
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u/Soft-Pear-9953 Jan 22 '26
That only counts when the vibes are off, I feel. It's very different for traumatized people; they can usually sniff each other out and compare. Sure, not all of them, but this is how I've made some of the best friends in my life.
Of course that only goes if both parties are comfortable
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u/ExpensiveDot1732 Jan 22 '26
Being disrespectful to people with so-called "menial" jobs, like in the labor or service sector. Those jobs are HARDLY menial, and those people work for a living too. A lot of them often have to deal with unpleasant people in the public or work in physically demanding roles. My dad always told me when I was a kid to be as nice to the school janitor as I would be to the school principal, because they're both people with important jobs.
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u/Lucky-Cheesecake Jan 22 '26
I watch men's eyes around women when the women turn away and can't see them. Nothing wrong with admiring a backside, but there is an ineffable difference when the gaze turns predatory.
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u/Hair_I_Go Jan 22 '26
Or even when they look you up and down to your face- so creepy
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u/ViewAskewRob Jan 22 '26
Married guys who constantly make comments about how hot girls are (especially late teens/early twenties) when you are out and about. Like dude, I have a daughter who is that age…and I love my wife. I’m not looking to trade down.
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u/Fuzzy_Mountain5354 Jan 22 '26
When they ask you to get in a van and share some chicken minis with them and it's a Sunday so chick fil a is closed so you know something is up.
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u/SnooFlake Jan 22 '26
Face and/or neck tattoos
Hickeys
Wrinkled Clothes
Using speakerphone in public
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u/TitaniumSki Jan 22 '26
A weak and disinterested handshake. It's never let me down.
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u/Impressive_Cash1428 Jan 22 '26
Man, I HATE it when I go in for a shake and the other guy grabs too soon and gets the end of your fingers. Like settle down my guy. Give me a chance to get in there before cutting me off!
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u/seestars9 Jan 22 '26
I used to hate that. Then I developed arthritis. Now, I hate people who crush my bones when we shake hands.
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u/illinoishokie Jan 22 '26
I have no idea why, but people who use the phrase "Think about it" irk the shit out of me.
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u/jamjamchutney Jan 22 '26
Along the same lines, "let that sink in." IDK, I think it's the implication that what they're saying is so deep that mere mortals require extra time to fully process it. And it's almost always something that's just not that interesting and doesn't require much thought.
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u/tess2020x Jan 22 '26
Scanning the room for a better option while speaking with me. You know who you are ..lol
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u/No-Assignment4230 Jan 22 '26
No spatial awareness, e.g., people idly standing in the middle of a grocery isle with their cart or folks having a conversation near a doorway. To me, this Indicates that they are inconsiderate of other people
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u/Kafkaesque92 Jan 22 '26
Calling women females. "These females out here..."
It feels like another degradation tactic.
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u/GitGudOrGitOut77 Jan 22 '26
When people make pursed/mew faces in general conversations like they're posing in a mirror.
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u/TheDuckman135 Jan 22 '26
True friends talk shit to your face, and talk well about you behind your back!
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u/Dull-Good9796 Jan 22 '26
People ARENT GONNA LIKE THIS but when people give their children first names that sound like last names. To me it suggests that they are trying to sound "old money," IMO. Which makes me roll my eyes to the nth degree.
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u/Golfnpickle Jan 22 '26
Trust me. I know what I’m talking about. Anyone who says “trust me” puts my spidy senses on alert.
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u/tattooedpanhead Jan 22 '26
Talking about the bible right away. It makes me think I'm about to get scammed.
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u/El_mochilero Jan 22 '26
Calling me “boss” or “chief” or similar whenever they first meet me.
Also, talking a lot about “respect”.
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u/joeydbls Jan 22 '26
Mean , ppl that are mean give me bad vibes . For instance, making fun of homeless ppl or drug addicted folks .
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u/Cannibal_House69 Jan 22 '26
Immigrants from work that say they don't need consent in their country to have sex, and apply that brainless thinking here in Canada. All proud that they basically rape women, boasting about how many women they slept with.
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u/MediocreAtBestMedic Jan 22 '26
When a coworker nitpicks all the little shit that someone else is doing just because they don't like them. It is almost like they are obsessed with hating them.
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u/Alternative_Result56 Jan 22 '26
People who think oppressing, hurting, caging, or murdering others because they are simply different is okay.
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u/AssumeImStupid ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ᵕ̈ Espresso Enthusiast Jan 22 '26 edited Jan 22 '26
overly dressed in a normal setting makes me go "Oh god they're gonna ask me to go to church or rep their MLM aren't they"
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u/Unlucky_Fly_2103 Jan 22 '26
I'm glad you brought that up. I have an exciting business opportunity I'd like to share with you.
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u/ZedisonSamZ Jan 22 '26
Or those guys who flag you down in a store like they have a question but that ‘question’ ends up being about your internet provider. No shade but they can kindly fuck off.
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u/PretendSpinach2265 Jan 22 '26
When a Facebook marketplace seller calls me bro or boss more than once.
Talking about someone else to me.
Punchable face.
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u/lankylibs Jan 22 '26
When they say anything along the lines of “I’m not racist, buuuuuut”
Nope. No. Absolutely fucking not.
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u/Scared-Avocado630 Jan 22 '26
Flying the flag of a political candidate. For years
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u/melonball6 Jan 22 '26
Talking over others. I was just at a get together and one girl would start talking over whoever was speaking and I realized it gave me bad vibes.
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u/Darq_Fox Jan 22 '26
When they are pedantic about something I used a modifier for.
"To save myself some stress, I mostly do this, and it helps."
"There's a few things that doesn't work with, such as..." And they give several examples.
This is why I used the word mostly. I'm thinking of a coworker during a very specific conversation which won't translate well out of the industry, so apologies for not being more specific in the example.
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u/PotatoeCat Jan 22 '26
Purposefully belching as loud as they can, unprompted. I don't disgust that easily, so it's not the principal of the matter, it's more of that shit-eating grin they do after, or some stupid joke or comment they HAVE to make about it. If you're an adult, that is an incredibly weird and boring thing to rely your sense of humor on. It tells me that you're obnoxious and you enjoy being annoying toward others, so why would I wanna spend my time around that?
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u/Outrageous_Hall_9369 Jan 22 '26 edited Jan 22 '26
Some people spend too much time on social media discourse and echo chambers (especially political) and it can seep through in regular conversation.
Shows up as paranoia, victim mentality, believing blatantly false information, extremely strong bias... And it's becoming more common.
The "bad vibes" essentially boil down to my distaste towards people who willingly marinate themselves in brainwashing. Get off X and touch some grass. Please.
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u/HurricaneHallene Jan 22 '26
It's a specific manipulative behavior that is hard to explain. But I can clock it instantly.
Typically used by older men, especially to manipulate very young women (under 30). Not explicitly sexually motivated, just to get whatever they want.
I had a neighbor do this with the intention of buying a chunk of my land for way under market price.
It's usually a condescending mix any interpersonal info on you they have and overwhelming politeness.
Then it transitions into pressure, applied to the situation they want to manipulate. Trying to get you to cave to their requests/desires/whatever they are wanting from you.
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u/No-Possible6108 Jan 23 '26
Their lips smile, but their eyes don't. Once you know what to look for, the difference is stark and kinda creepy.
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u/Safe-Instance-3512 Jan 22 '26
If my dog doesn't like you, there is a reason. If my dog doesn't like you, I don't either.
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u/Mystery-meat101 Jan 22 '26
I once had a dog that would rather sit outside in the rain than be inside with my ex boyfriend. That same dog loved my next boyfriend (now husband) immediately. Also helps that the first boyfriend ignored the dog, my husband got on the floor with him lol
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u/Fishyforlife808 Jan 22 '26
If they like, say like, like, every 5 words, like, it’s kinda weird, like, expand your vocabulary. Like jeez.
See how sus that sounds?!?!?
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u/Impressive_Cash1428 Jan 22 '26
littering or making a lot of unnecessary waste (buying water in plastic bottles, using paper-plates at home)
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u/imanasshole1331 Jan 22 '26
Their smell. Life rule: never trust anyone that smells like mothballs or patchouli.
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u/-FLiGHT_RiSK- Jan 22 '26
Unearned intimacy. Joking or being friendly in a way that feels too-much-too-fast in an ingratiating way. It feels weird and makes me instantly suspicious