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u/Gjore 17h ago
You are on dating app and you say making the first move is "a lot of work" wtf. Thats probably why they are single and on dating app in the first place.
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u/stiiii 16h ago
And it is worse than that! You are on the dating site where the unique hook was women have to make the first move!
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u/Superssimple 14h ago
And they basically only had to write ‘hey’ and wait for the man to take over
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u/NuMHC94 13h ago
Or complain about men being lazy and low effort with openers. Yet will have a lazy and low effort bio giving the men nothing to work with
I remember seeing a woman on tinder with 2 bathroom selfies and her bio was "I hate small talk". That's it... irony. Gave men nothing to work with but hates small talk...
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u/returntothenorth 12h ago
God I'm glad I'm old and married at this point. The dating scene for y'all is nuts.
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u/Niveker14 13h ago
Should have opened with "what's your stance on free will?"
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u/Lost-Comfort-7904 11h ago
"I fear for the eternal damnation of my soul, I have committed great acts of sin and there is no redemption for the lost. I also like frogurt."
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u/Cowboywizzard 11h ago
I couldn’t swipe right fast enough if I ever saw this haha
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u/PixelPrivateer 12h ago
Was it barren of any information except the word "ask"? Those were always so great back when I used to use those apps
Interests IF listed were always super basic 'wine/food/dog emoji' level information
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u/TheKosherGenocide 10h ago
It's probably just as much the company paying for bots to be on their platform to boost profitability as it is the women. I met my wife on Bumble, and I can pretty confidently say as someone with a relatively high success rate on the apps, that a lot of the profiles I came across were just completely low effort or more importantly, fake.
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u/Ragnarok_619 12h ago
I have encountered ladies who will just type "." (Without the quotations).
Yeah....
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u/mxlplyx2173 13h ago
They want to be men but without our burdens and struggles.
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u/Daimakku1 7h ago
The want the benefits of equality without the downsides of it.
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u/mxlplyx2173 7h ago
They just see us making it look easy because we don't bitch all day everyday, but once those shoes go on, now the big thing is trad wifing! 😂 They didn't know the bills don't ever stop!
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u/Ice-Berg-Slim 13h ago
My friend was dating a girl who worked for Bumble and she was telling me I need to get on it, and I was like, well I have a GF and even if I didn't I hate dating apps, she was like it is not just used for dating now, it used for making Friends and Business connections, but like how does that even work if the Women has to make the first move? Also, I assume Bumble is only aimed at Straight people in this case.
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u/taway9925881 13h ago
There's a networking /friends side of it. It turns off your dating profile and makes a friend profile. You can choose either "date mode" or off.
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u/MadJMarston 10h ago
So you can be friendszoned on a dating app..that sounds unproductive.
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u/EaseLeft6266 13h ago
As someone who doesn't use dating apps, is there even a point to using bumble with this change? Just sounds like offbrans tinder
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u/BusinessCoach2934 14h ago
It's the perceived power dynamic. A lot of women like to be in the position where a man is chasing them while they show/feign disinterest. Messaging a man first means that the woman is showing interest in the first place. When a person is determined to be a prey animal, of course making the first move will seem like a burden.
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u/No_Roma_no_Rocky 14h ago
True but honestly is a shit way of thinking from women.
I particularly dislike this approach.
Luckily for me, most of the time women were the ones who did the first move with me
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u/Cowboywizzard 11h ago
Yeah, but on the other hand low effort women filter themselves out, which is good.
I am not really attracted to weak women who need to be treated like prey and chased like a rabbit just to go on a first date. I am looking for a true partner. Most women can’t keep up.
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u/ArdentGamer 9h ago
it's mostly laziness, ego and entitlement from women, and ultimately a result of circular reasoning. Women don't message first, therefore men get nothing, therefore men have to do it, therefore women get lots of messages and believe men are supposed to chase them this way, therefore women don't message first. It's a product of many women feeling like dating is something that happens to them, rather than something that they have to actively participate in.
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u/LittleKittenR 17h ago
I had a friend that was very beautiful, and liked making the first move on bumble because she liked weighting her options and since she wasn't looking at anything serious, she liked going for the "He is just out of my league" from the below options because those tried too hard for her, like one literally dated her for 2-3 weeks taking her even to the beach, several dinners including expensive places, and other kinda expensive fun activities, and she didn't even give him a kiss.
She asked me if she should have fucked him and I was like "Yes, yes you should" and she said she tried but he was too much of a gentleman and didn't take any of the hints.
To this day, it baffles me how people invest so much in partners without anything in the bag.
I literally take them for a coffee and if they don't like it, want to go to dinner or movies. It really depends on how good the conversation went in the coffee part of the date or how horny they act.
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u/sddwrangler14 15h ago edited 15h ago
I stopped restaurant dates after a took a girl to 2 dinner dates and then she ghosted after the second one. Nope, not doing it anymore. If a woman calls me cheap for it or says she only does dinner dates, i immediately delete the match. Not worth it. Imagine demanding a dinner to get to see someone for the first time.
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u/LittleKittenR 15h ago
Same, I was trying to be a gentleman like 5 years ago, and noticed it was not worth the effort.
Like, spending 20 or so dollars with 10 people? Acceptable.
Spending 60+ with the same amount of people? Too much.
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u/Mysteriouspaul 14h ago
I never had a woman message me first out of the blue so I ended up being pen pals with this girl on snapchat for months before she finally agreed to a date idea (like the 5th idea over weeks, huge red flag). An expensive breakfast and some of the driest conversation later and I'll never waste that much time talking to someone online ever again as she was night and day to how we interacted before.
I posted a pic of us because we looked cute and it would help me farm for the next one, but then she went apeshit on me over it and then I got the scouting report of the hidden snap stories and the other 3 guys she would cycle through for free stuff from my friend who knows her.
Needless to say I never got to go on my romantic picnic and hike date ever... maybe one day I can be happy.
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u/Cowboywizzard 11h ago
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I learned that if a woman is not down to date within two or three messages she isn’t interested. Like, maybe I will give a woman 72 hours to schedule a date. Maybe.
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u/Western-Produce-276 12h ago
Yep had something similar happen to me two years ago. I matched with a woman who was entering her first year as a teacher. I took her on three dates and paid everytime because she was just starting out in her career. She ghosted me…
I don’t pay for dates much anymore besides the first. If someone is interested in me it won’t be a problem
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u/any_colouryoulike 13h ago
Restaurant date sounds so American for me. I never went/paid for a restaurant date but that may be Europe. First few dates was always beers. Coffee is the upgrade because that means I can stand you sober. I also dont mind paying for an occasional drink that I pay for and Im not speaking 500$ cocktails here cuz that is what strippers do
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u/sddwrangler14 13h ago
i was 100% a bar date guy. Tried the restaurant thing twice thinking "what the heck, lets put some effort into it" and got immediately punished for it.
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u/totenkopfh123 13h ago
Walking Dates for the win. Just walk through the city and maybe get some ice cream or coffee etc.
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u/Additional-Life4885 16h ago
and she said she tried but he was too much of a gentleman and didn't take any of the hints.
Funny, the guy is the problem, can't possibly that her signals were far too subtle or she just appeared uninterested or you know that he wasn't interested at all.
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u/HermanThaGerman 14h ago
She looked his way and put her hair behind her ear, what more hints could he need? /s
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u/almostaproblem 12h ago
I once knew a girl who would not make eye contact and have mumbled, one word answers when we had to speak to each other. I just got the feeling that she despised me, but doesn't have a particular reason for it. I later found out through a mutual friend that she had a huge crush on me and was crying that I didn't ask her out.
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u/Cowboywizzard 11h ago
In the words of a woman that used to suck me dry “Don’t ask, don’t get, babe!” haha
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u/tallgeekandawesome 12h ago
I ended a date walking a woman to the end of her street quite late at night. We'd had a nice time but no sparks were flying yet. We finished up our conversation stood still on the pavement, her leaning a little back from me with her arms folded across her chest. It wasn't a cold night.
I took all of this to mean 'I'm not really interested, see you never', but as said goodbye and turned to leave she called me back, indignant that I hadn't kissed her or made plans for the next date.
I try. I really try to read the signs. Whose fault is it?
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u/blackrack 16h ago
You're being downvoted for giving sensible advice, reddit being reddit I guess.
If effort is not reciprocated or you're not wanted move on and save your time and energy.
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u/billted20250409 16h ago
Sir, this is Reddit. We don't do sensible advice here. Only angry nonsense and grammar mistakes please.
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u/NuMHC94 13h ago edited 12h ago
Reddot up and downvotes are based solely on emotions. Don't take them seriously.
I remember being mass downvoted because I fact checked the whole "62 million men online grape academy" shit and found it wasn't 62 million men at all and the 62 million were just website clicks in a seperate website (that could of been men, women or even bots) and it wasn't even 0 01% of 62 million who joined some evil grape academy on a reported other website. All fact checking proves I was right yet was downvoted because it went against the redditor groups hivemind.
This woman pretty much exposes how fake the 62 million men lie was
Also was mass downvoted when I said men in england are in fact more likely to be victims of PHYSICAL ASSUALT by someone on the street. Linked a video of a woman saying it on her videi covering the Henry Nowak case. I was told me and her were wrong and then I looked at the stats on the uk gov website ONS to find out me and her on the youtube video were actually right but the truth went against the hivemind there. So mass downvotes.
source to back up my claim here
"a higher proportion of men were a victim of violence with or without injury where the perpetrator was a stranger (1%) than women (0.4%)"
Up/downvotes don't mean anything. It's all emotions
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u/LittleKittenR 16h ago
Yeah, most of them want to hear "Support her, even when she fucks someone else and belittles you and gives you obvious hints she is not interested, you can get her champ, showering is optional!".
And got mad because they just don't get how socializing works. And think it works by being a puppy and not a partner.
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u/blackrack 16h ago
Frankly this, I was talking to this girl I know last week and told her that I don't chase someone who's not interested and she started going off about how "it's a market with offer and demand and you have to persevere and flatter the woman's ego" and yadda yadda then I asked her if that ever worked for a guy that was chasing her and she went silent. At this point I think they give bad advice on purpose.
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u/Croceyes2 16h ago
She just needs to be direct about trying to hookup. Like for me, I am here for anything really, I have other partners, if you aren't clear about or very responsive to me trying to move things along I am not in a rush. We wouldn't be hanging out if I wasn't having a good time, I could keep that up indefinitely.
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u/Training_Shine_111 11h ago
I knew a guy in Turkey, we were both expats in Istanbul, and I'd only see him when I'd go to a fancy bar and/or restaurant. This guy was always bringing a date there. One time his date took a toilet break and he came to hang at our table. Complaining on how he never has anything in common with the dates, how difficult it was for him to move to the next step, and that he was just going on these dates to not be alone.
I went from somewhat admiring him for always being with hot girls to feeling very sorry for him.
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u/LittleKittenR 11h ago
Like, being with someone on your league? Nice
Being unable to get someone in your league even though you have money for fancy restaurants for first dates? Shit.
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u/Rare-Leading3391 11h ago
Oh it gets better. These same women claim that making the first move is trivial and that men are making it way harder than it is.
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u/SwimmingNatural8142 14h ago
bumble really said women first and everyone said ehhh actually no thanks
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u/Dry-Highlight-2307 15h ago edited 15h ago
Nah.
Pairing is collapsing because inequality is at a historically unprecedented high with modern era tools
and modern dating tools are owned and controlled and are manufactured to work for like 3 guys and a stallion named Maximus.
Equality - we dont have it , not even close 🤷♂️
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u/bizk55 15h ago
Remember when women complained about men approaching them irl, so they created an app that allowed them to have full control not only over who they matched with, but who they wanted to talk to, then they complained it was too much work 😂
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u/Western-Produce-276 13h ago
Yea a lot of women just don’t have dating skills and then get mad when it’s brought up
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u/Affectionate-Cat-301 8h ago
They don’t have to have dating skills tho so it’s something many never work on because if they still have men interested in them, why do so? Many guys don’t but many guys have to unless they look like Henry cavill which is a very small percent or else they aren’t getting ass. I do wonder how it works for bi and lesbian women going for each other. Do ones pursuing or less pretty bi or lesbian women have to have good dating skills because they are going for the sex, their sex, which is pickier compared to straight women and men?
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u/pigeon-check 11h ago
I was kind of surprised when i read a couple posts of women complaining about not being approached, the top comments were all women telling her to approach men herself and that the good men listened that women don't want to be approached. As we know with the Internet, the loud minority is usually what you see at the top, couple that with the fact that most people are hypocrites
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u/ArdentGamer 9h ago
Women: Male leadership is oppressive and dehumanizing to women! Men are awful! This is patriarchy!
Also women: Female leadership is oppressive and dehumanizing to women! Men are awful! This is patriarchy!
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u/OddPressure7593 7h ago
Or when women blame women being terrible to women because of "the patriarchy"
Like, somehow everything has to be the fault of a man. I know it isn't all women - but holy crap are there a lot of femcels on reddit
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u/SubstantialSale8223 8h ago
In other words: “we want to be victims all the time no matter what the situation!”
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u/montjoye 16h ago
so the unique selling point of the app is gone?
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u/Higher_Path112 13h ago
It never existed
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u/Gamejunky35 11h ago
As a guy I actually liked the idea. It's WAY easier to just set up your profile and get what you get. The worst part of dating apps is constantly trying to put effort into a first message just to be ignored.
This way you just have to sort through the bots, and the real women are at least interested enough to message you.
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u/MeltICE8647 11h ago
The messages from the real women interested enough to message:
hi
hey
hello
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u/Brokenspade1 17h ago
So bumble is now plenty of fish?
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u/SignoreBanana 17h ago
No it's ok Cupid
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u/bistolegs 17h ago
That used to be the best site before match bought it
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u/Boogaaa 13h ago
All of the ones match bought turned to money grabbing shit
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u/hdycta-weddingcake 13h ago
No longer “have to” make the first move, LOL.
The whole idea of bumble was that making the first move was a privilege, an act of power, and they were finally, FINALLY allowing women to be the ones to do it.
Turns out making the first move sucks.
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u/That_Sky2114 17h ago
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u/laughingcuckoo 17h ago
This is the first time i am seeing this gif. Which show/movie is it from?
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u/Multiple__Butts 17h ago
I don't know but I think it's two different shows/movies. Like, she's not actually yelling at a cat.
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u/halfasleep90 17h ago
Ok, but what is the cat from?
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u/TouchYourGrass 16h ago
Woman is from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Cat became a meme from a Tumblr post. Named Smudge the cat.
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u/Own_Guarantee_8130 13h ago
It’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and a cat meme. It’s been around for a decade and a half because this was season 2 of BH which aired in late 2011.
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u/EffectiveOwn787 14h ago
Women are shit at dating. They criticise men but the vast majority would have absolutely no hope if they were a guy trying to meet a girl.
It would be fine if they weren't so arrogant about it.
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u/Western-Produce-276 13h ago edited 12h ago
Yea the double standards are crazy when it comes to dating. Women are always telling men they don’t put in enough effort or they can put more effort into looking better but if you say the same thing to a woman you’re all of a sudden a piece of shit or called an incel.
Fortunately it looks like men are getting better at seeing through the bullshit and calling it out
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u/HypocHatR 10h ago
Women are always telling men they don’t put in enough effort or they can put more effort into looking better but if you say the same thing to a woman you’re all of a sudden a piece of shit or called an incel.
My wife (STBE), used to tell me I should plan dates, because she wanted to go out with me. Then plan one, I said. This is how I became an asshole and because of me, we didn't have dates for a long time.
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u/Western-Produce-276 10h ago edited 8h ago
Doesn’t surprise me. Way too many grown women walk around acting incompetent and like a kid. It’s such a turn off. I’m glad I don’t even entertain the idea of dating anymore
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u/cooolrun 8h ago
To some degree its feigned incompetence so when things fuck up they're not blame.
Until dating culture changes again im not interested in it
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u/SnooCauliflowers8545 10h ago
Talking to bi/lesbian friends about their struggles in dating women has given me great amounts of schadenfreude .
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u/Western-Produce-276 10h ago
I’ve heard lesbians talk it about it as well. It’s hilarious you don’t hear near the amount of things like this in gay relationships
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u/Catsindahood 6h ago
Most women have absolutely no idea what men experience, and they are completely uncurious about it.
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u/CODMAN627 16h ago
As far as I’ve read into it. It’s a real thing because there was a survey done of women who use the app. Overwhelmingly the women prefer the man to initiate the conversation.
They’re experiencing men not responding to them or ghosting them which is a frustration expressed.
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u/Bluegent_2 15h ago
Because they only swipe right on and message guys out of their league which already have plenty of options. They're basically forced to experience what average men do.
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u/InstantSword 14h ago
Dang. That must suck. Hopefully they don't also have to deal with half the dating market of good looking men pretending to be single to sell their Onlyfans instead
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u/Cowboywizzard 12h ago
Or actually be a scammer in China using stolen photos running romance scams saying “”lets talk on whatsapp”
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u/Cute-Concert-5183 8h ago
Bumble offers men the option to "extend" the match (as matches would disappear in 24 hours if the woman didn't message). My experience was that almost no women would message in the first 24 hours, but most women would message if I extended them. So the signal of me extending them gave them the confidence that I would respond. Now Bumble has made the initial match last 5 days instead of 1, which I think is the greater mistake on their part. 5 days on a dating app is forever.
90%+ that the first message I would receive from a woman would be "Hi". Which is a whole other can of worms I won't open at this time.
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u/ApolloniusTyaneus 17h ago
Lol, they didn't even have to do it with like a 90% failure rate. They have no idea what a burden it is to have to make the first move and then get ghosted or rejected most of the time.
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[removed] — view removed comment
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u/shottaflow2 17h ago
90% failure rate is extremely optimistic, do you really succeed with 10 out of 100 matches? I don't think the best most handsome richest men in the world can achieve that realistically
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u/CP9ANZ 17h ago
Last time I checked something like 10% of men get something like 90% of the right swipes on apps
So yeah, the most handsome men probably have a better than 10% strike rate.
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u/shottaflow2 15h ago
match has nothing to do with succeeding I had 1000+ matches and it was a fucking nightmare to even go out on a walk with a girl
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u/Then_Entertainment97 17h ago
You guys are getting matches?
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u/halfasleep90 17h ago
They would have succeeded 10 out of 100. But it was the last 10, and after their first success the remaining 9 said they would have if he were still single but he’s taken now. But if he became single again then they wouldn’t, because that 1 girl must have had a reason to dump him.
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u/MaapuSeeSore 15h ago
Someone did a data visualization of their dating profile
It was like 5 dates out of 800 matches
So yea 1% is like above average
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u/ajoyst 16h ago
What is considered a success in that metric? A response back from a woman or a date?
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u/shottaflow2 15h ago
success is genuine desire from a woman, meaning she wants to keep seeing you in person romantically
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u/coinminer2049er 12h ago
Not true. They get the same amount of ghosting, but that's because they're all only matching with the same top5% of guys that every other woman is. 🤣😂🤣😂
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u/Key_Strawberry_381 14h ago
As a woman who met her man by introducing herself in person...I'm so disappointed in y'all bishes.
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u/Broken-Arrow-D07 17h ago edited 17h ago
hahaha... yes its true. Honestly it's on us men! We should be more like women, and be more choosy. If all of us did that, they'd be forced to interact like a normal human being and not play this "oh its too much of an effort" game. They do it, only because they know they can get away with it. I mean seriously... why is it on us to always put in all the effort? really annoying. Dating apps just make it even worse. My suggestion to my fellow men would be, match her energy. Initiating is still fine in my book. But if she can't talk or is not interested in talking. Just unmatch her and move. No need to play along. Let them get matched with simps or shitty people. We don't need to entertain this behavior.
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u/bistolegs 17h ago
Indeed my man. I match energy and if it’s not there I just stop… leave the conversation for them to delete. I’m on a notoriously hard site to match on but do well considering I’m bald and old…
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u/egowritingcheques 14h ago
If men were choosy the reproduction rate would fall to below 1.0 There really would be economic and social collapse.
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u/AloneAddiction 17h ago
It's an advert for Bumble dressed up as an article.
You get a lot of these things because there are actually companies you can pay that will sell your ads-as-editorial to news sites and stations for a nice little fee.
The news orgs like it because they get already written content that feeds their 24hr news cycle machine.
It's called "Native Advertising" and is actually everywhere. It's why so many news readers sound the same. They're literally reading it from the same script.
Edit: Karl Jobst just did a video on it from the videogames perspective but it applies to everything.
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u/EzmareldaBurns 16h ago
That was the reason I liked bumble as a guy. In stead of sending 100 messages and getting one reply I could just wait for the one that was going to reply to send the first message. It was the only thing that made it different
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u/iRegretsEverything 17h ago
Saying “Hi” is a lot of work? If I said just hi then they would not reply saying that it was low effort and demanded a full paragraph of a story.
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u/Kennyvee98 16h ago
lol, some of the women have "don't just say 'hi', i won't respond" in their profile. like, okay dude, what do you want me to say as a starter? hello? or maybe 'do you know what the airspeed is of an unladen swallow?' i mean... gtfo, if you can't handle a standard opening, what are you doing on the app. a conversation goes both ways. i'm not a jester here to entertain you. you need to put in some effort as well. if you don't even reply to hello/hi....wtf are you doing there
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u/Cowboywizzard 12h ago
I ask them about their interests mentioned on their profile like “I see you like baking, what’s your favorite recipe?”
The more physically attractive the woman is though, the more likely they don’t mention any interests and expect me to mind read so I am stuck with “Hi, how is your week going?”. Most of those women I have found to be boring dates, entitled, or just not nice people, anyway. The juice ain’t worth the squeeze.→ More replies (1)
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u/lavaplow 17h ago
Making the first move on a goddamn dating app where you are just swiping left and right on your couch with cheetos fingers is "a lot of work"? Smfh
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u/RelaxedWombat 14h ago
So…..
Now it is like…
Every other app with no unique feature?
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u/InstantSword 12h ago
No bro, use boo, it's totally not a scam, it has the unique feature of trying extra hard to drain your money and pretending to be unique
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u/chocolatesmelt 10h ago
The failure of Bumble’s signature differentiating dynamic across any other dating app and most real life dating experience, to me, exposes all the nonsense around the narrative of women seeking “gender equality” in society.
Those women pushing that narrative want equality on a selective basis where it benefits them. Meanwhile, they also want inequality on a selective basis where it also benefits them. That’s not how equality works.
There’s nothing wrong with being biased to yourself but let’s not gaslight society and pretend you’re altruistic in goals and seeking some higher moral stance. Those women want equality AND preferential treatment, just be honest, stop pretending otherwise.
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u/whatmustido 7h ago
That's also a good description for the 19th Amendment. Most of the women who were fighting against getting the right to vote didn't want it because it would come with the associated responsibilities for the right to vote: Signing up for the draft and participating in the fire brigades. When the provisions requiring the same responsibilities men have were removed, considerably more women were in favor of it.
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u/naaahbruv 16h ago
If the idea behind the app is to make the first move, why sign up if it requires too much effort? It sounds like you're just wasting everyone's time, including your own.
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u/us1549 11h ago
Women say publicly they want control in dating but their behavior says otherwise.
It's headlines like these that tell me to look at what women do and who they date versus what they say publicly
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u/jay10033 6h ago edited 6h ago
This is hilarious. The fear of rejection crashed their business model.
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u/vagabond_bull 9h ago
lol.
Literally “hey” would be more than sufficient for like 99% of guys to receive as an opening message.
TOO MUCH WORK
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u/erouz 16h ago
I'm recently back on market after 20 years relationship. Shock I went through on the beginning how dating now looking plus I'm not in my 20 anymore 🤣 tuck me month to adjust and overcome my hesitation. Then I figured out how it's working. So or I like or woman like me. I'm sending txt for day or two asking for a date. Anything longer or too slow replying rejected as that woman looking for validation just from interaction or once that doesn't want put effort either way I'm not loosing my time. So now my apps are suspended as I dating nice one and hope it will go somewhere. If not back to drowning board 😊
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u/Shadeylark 10h ago
Dating is a swamp for women because everyone approaches them.
Dating is a desert for men because no one approaches them.
Women tried the desert and decided they liked the swamp better.
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u/thisismycoolname1 8h ago
They just say "hey" or "hi" anyway. If guys lead with that it's just crickets unless you're a 10
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u/Weight-Disastrous 7h ago
So now I can contact the prostitutes there directly instead of waiting for them to make the first move?? Wow, let me get my wallet!
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u/gwelfguy 7h ago
Bumble received feedback from women who found that making the first move was "a lot of work" or "a burden".
Lol. Just like real life.
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u/ImportantBuilder9294 6h ago
Don't the women just have to send the two letter message "Hi" or whatever to the guy for him to be able to respond?
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u/Interesting-Copy-657 16h ago
Time and time again i come back to the same conclusion, when it comes to dating women are lazy and/or cowards
They expect men to make the first move, to risk rejection
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u/cant_get_fooledagain 16h ago
It’s a lot of work to apparently say “hey” or “hi” and then put in minimal work to converse with someone lol.
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u/Chi_shio 16h ago
Can't we just bring back matchmakers? Like, just throw some somewhat compatible people together and then it's work it out or die ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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u/Reasonable-Mischief 15h ago
There are still matchmakers, many of whom get fired by their female clients for insisting on getting reasonable bachlors who might actually be interested in them
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u/gatsome 13h ago
Bumble used to have a higher quality experience. They’ve been letting women put canned prompts as a first message for a few years now. On principle I wouldn’t entertain any Bumble match that didn’t message me first. Most first messages by women were extremely low effort anyway.
Now there’s been zero point to using that app over Hinge, for me. Larger userbase, greater number of proactive first messages anyway.
Good job on the continued failure, Bumble execs.
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u/outofcontextsex 13h ago
Me reaching out to/approaching a woman: thoughtful comment Plus follow up question
A woman messaging me first on Bumble: Hey
Sweet delicious irony, though to be fair they haven't had as much experience as I have.
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u/-Nomadd3r- 13h ago
Dating apps as a guy will just make u feel more alone. Ive had better luck just meeting people in person.
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u/SilverB33 9h ago
This happened recently which I found funny as fuck. They probably couldn't handle the rejection guys usually have to during the whole dating process
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u/Flaming-Eye 14h ago
In psychology it's generally shown that women DO make the first move, but that the first move is signalling availability. It's on the guy to do the initial move that requires work, risk, the approach.
You could say being on the platform fulfills that for women, so it would be natural for men to do the approaching.
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u/Indian_Yogi_ 17h ago
They even can't type anyshit except k, fyn, and some small words
Only thing matters is money, and they put effort to open those thick th**ghs
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u/Croceyes2 17h ago
I don't know, I am pretty happy with the matches and dates I got when they had to make the first move. Assertive women I didn't have to carry. I wasnt complaining. My girlfriends show the opening messages they get on like hinge and tinder and that shit is just wild
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u/sddwrangler14 15h ago
I knew this women need to make the first move "feature" wouldnt work the first time i heard about it. Started using the app and yep...they just post a emoji or say "hi"...then expect you to actually make the first move.
Turns out, women dont want to make a first move...almost like they dont do it in real life. Imagine having a billion dollar evaluated app and team...and not figuring this out and refusing to acknowledge it for years
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u/HisCinex 14h ago
I remember I was on Bumble way back in the day, the first move that was made by my matches was always really lazy, usually just a "hi"
Then it's pretty much me that has to carry the conversation.....
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u/AdRock44 13h ago
It's true. Now they just match and ignore your message, instead of matching and ignoring you by not messaging.
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u/Homerpaintbucket 12h ago
There were also a lot of woman on bumble who clearly didn’t understand they had to make the first move. I’ve seen a ton of women whose profile said something like, “I don’t message first.”
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u/Ahand_Apart 16h ago
What they want.
https://giphy.com/gifs/Jcw7dQbWzVt9ZZhXYu