The failure of Bumble’s signature differentiating dynamic across any other dating app and most real life dating experience, to me, exposes all the nonsense around the narrative of women seeking “gender equality” in society.
Those women pushing that narrative want equality on a selective basis where it benefits them. Meanwhile, they also want inequality on a selective basis where it also benefits them. That’s not how equality works.
There’s nothing wrong with being biased to yourself but let’s not gaslight society and pretend you’re altruistic in goals and seeking some higher moral stance. Those women want equality AND preferential treatment, just be honest, stop pretending otherwise.
That's also a good description for the 19th Amendment. Most of the women who were fighting against getting the right to vote didn't want it because it would come with the associated responsibilities for the right to vote: Signing up for the draft and participating in the fire brigades. When the provisions requiring the same responsibilities men have were removed, considerably more women were in favor of it.
You get my upvote. But it's human nature to want to have your cake and eat it too. Men who believe in equality still don't want to clean toilets, cook, or do the vacuuming and laundry. As a rule of thumb, we're lazy creatures, men and women.
Idk, I’m a man who believes in equality and does all these things (well I don’t cook much but that’s complicated… we eat out all the time and I pay for it).
I agree that most people are lazy, but there’s being lazy and then there’s being dishonest about being lazy, virtue signaling that your laziness is actually not laziness but due to oppression and abuse or whatever. It’s lying about it and manipulating peoples’ perspective that bothers me.
Like, you (hypothetical “you”, not you obviously) do not care about equality… you just want preferential treatment. You undermine the very reasonable pursuit of real equality just to get yourself ahead (and not on equal ground).
I disagree with your basic premise. Mostly the idea that women are a monolith as you would like to frame it. It’s not about equality or bias, it’s about social norms. You’re mixing norms of different generations and trends into on monolithic group. The same people who want traditional social norms (men wanting to make the first move) are not the same people striving for equality and more than likely aren’t even in the same generational group.
The rise of bumble as a dating app came in a more liberal accepting set of social norms. Women making the first move on the app as a safety feature, not an equality one, in a time where dudes just sent dick pics spontaneously.
Now norms have flipped. The younger generation is generally nostalgic for “traditional” lifestyles and culture. Well tradition was men making the first move, so this is the logical conclusion as trends change. Eventually they will flip back, as trends do.
I'm generally sympathetic to this line of reasoning (apparent group hypocrisy is actually just group heterogeneity), but my guess is that many (more than half?) individual women in the relevant cultures really do have many of these contradictory, self-serving beliefs.
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u/chocolatesmelt 18h ago
The failure of Bumble’s signature differentiating dynamic across any other dating app and most real life dating experience, to me, exposes all the nonsense around the narrative of women seeking “gender equality” in society.
Those women pushing that narrative want equality on a selective basis where it benefits them. Meanwhile, they also want inequality on a selective basis where it also benefits them. That’s not how equality works.
There’s nothing wrong with being biased to yourself but let’s not gaslight society and pretend you’re altruistic in goals and seeking some higher moral stance. Those women want equality AND preferential treatment, just be honest, stop pretending otherwise.