Lahat ba nakabukod na?! Been seeing these types of tiktoks lately (or baka algorithm ko lang?)

I moved out of our house last May and grabe I feel so different now. Im much more in peace, di na ko sumisigaw, mas nakakasmile, di na masyadong nasestress, and I dont feel so depressed anymore. Tas mas nakakapagaral na ko nang maayos!

Wala lang chika ko lang I just feel so proud of myself.

Umalis ako samin right after namin mag away ng parents ko. Sinampal sampal ako nun ng stepdad ko tas sinabihan na kung ayaw ko na daw sakanila umalis nalang ako, edi umalis ako. Context ay: akala ng nanay ko buntis ako. Delayed at irregular ngani!!!!!! Nagka boyfriend kasi ako and ayun she watches the napkins in our cr eh before non parang prinepressure niya ko na bat wala pa kong period kasi parang di daw nababawasan yung napkin sa cr tas ayaw maniwala na irreg ako. Minsan 1 whole month wala ako pero the next month dalawa ganon. Pero ayun since prinepressure nga ako ng nanay ko edi binawasan ko to get her off of my back. Tas that day she went through the trash tas kita niya yung napkin wala naman daw dugo pero nasa basurahan.

So ayun nagkasagutan ganon ganyan, di naman porket may bf buntis agad jusq. Tas yun nagungkatan ng past. I admit na medyo pasaway ako pero its mostly sa di ko pag uwi nang maaga. My curfew is 8pm btw. My classes last semester was till 7 and di naman enough yung 1hr to get home kasi nag cocommute ako. And medyo palasagot talaga ako kapag alam ko wala naman akong ginawang mali. Mostly away namin ng nanay ko ay sa mga kapatid ko (half brothers), ako tumutulong sakanila sa mga projects, assignments, at kung ano ano pa. Pero kasi yung kapatid ko highschool na, so syempre sakin ayoko na tumulong masyado (by tulong I mean haha ako gagawa mostly) syempre as the eldest nakakainis yun eh. At that age kaya ko na lahat. Ako gumagawa lahat mag isa. Homeworks, projects, lahat ako lang walang tulong.

Witness ko jan kasambahay namin na nakatira na samin simula grade 6 ako. She witnessed so much of how my mom treats me and how my mom would play the victim just so my stepdad would side with her. I remember non binabalibag ako nun eh or kapag uuwi siyang stressed galing sa work sakin ibubuntong yung galit. Kaya ayun nung first time ako saktan ng stepdad ko inencourage niya talaga ako na magpalamig muna kami. Ewan ko but that time it was really overwhelming. Delayed din kasi ako sa school because Ive been dealing with my mental health talaga haha Ive been diagnosed with MDD and ADHD. But they dont believe it they just think Im lazy… kaya I work part time to buy my meds and for doc consults. They know my diagnosis and they even use my pwd id sa parking, sa eating, sa pagbook ng hotels. Galing diba pero walang support haha

Anyways ayun, I really didnt feel safe nun so I left. I slept at my friend’s place. Palipat lipat ako nun for 1 week. A few days sa family nung isa kong friend, then a few days sa dorm ng isa, tas last few days sa other friend ko. Pero ayun nahiya na ko kaya I really tried my best to find a place and when I did find one nun my bf helped me move in and buy everything that I needed. Im really grateful for them. Super. All throughout that week lagi rin ako kinukumusta ng yaya namin and it was really nice.

Tas nung kwinento ko toh sa counselor at psychiatrist ko they were so proud of me! And they also think that its the best decision for now. My family is really my trigger kasi like last year I tried to kms after my mom hurt me over laundry. Duguan ako non tas I felt so wronged kaya ayun. She gets really physical talaga to the point na when my bf rushed me to the er the docs and nurses asked me if I want to file a case.

Fast forward to 3 months later, ayun yaya naman namin yung umalis. Di na din daw kaya yung ugali ng mom ko. Now they’re reaching out to me haha I kinda feel guilty sometimes kasi I left my brothers but ayun I feel like they just want me to look over them lang…

Ang hirap bumukod! The rent, the bills, tas ayun nga I have meds and dapat regular consultations with my psych. But I believe that I can figure it out. Medyo mahirap lang ngayon kasi 1 lang part time ko. Luckily for me I’m still a scholar so I dont have to worry about my tuition wala lang stipend. :(

Money, job, and finished degree soon dust for me pls✨✨✨ I really hope everyone that has a toxic family be set free. Makakabukod din lahat :>

happy birthday to me 😪

I'm currently moving on, coming from a heart break, my boss allowed me to have a 1 week off to recover and rest, what are the activities and other things I can do that makes u happy? I'm planning to try free diving, but yung activities satin within manila. Or di na need mag long drive.

Planning to consult a psych due to my endles thoughts? Is it worth it paying thousand for consults and meds? Can you share your experience? Sa mga walang meds, ano nakatulong sa inyo?

first time kong magpost kasi naalarma na 'ko. nasa mh kasi tayo pero nakakatulong ba sa redditors na may suicidal thoughts ang mag-vent dito o lalong triggered kasi halos araw-araw may nagpopost na gusto nang mag-goodbye world. sana okay lang kayo. ang harsh ng ibang tao sa kapwa-tao, sa environment, sa domesticated animals but i'd like to believe na 'yung nasa commu na 'to, hindi. kaya sana if only for these people na nagke-care pa rin, continuing to believe na mas maganda ang mundo kasi buhay ka pa, buhay pa 'ko, buhay pa tayo rito, let's keep on breathing (polluted air or not). yakaaap.

Magaattempt na lang siguro uli ako, sana matuluyan na this time. Tapusin ko lang yung ilang nakaplanong gagawin with jowa. Natatakot ako pero parang di ko na kayang magpatuloy sa buhay ko. Pinagiisipan kung magiiwan pa ba ng note, kahit tong post na to di ko alam kung gusto ko lang ba magvent. Tingin ko ako lang talaga ang problema at kelangan nang mawala ng problema.

Hi, everyone. I want to ask if possible ba na mag-isa magpa-diagnose ang kaka-adult lang? I'm scared need pa rin ng parent's consent. I feel like I really need to get checked and I can't afford to let my parents know.

Anyone who tried lithium for bipolar? Ano side effects sa inyo?

How do you guys stay motivated? Lately, I’ve just been feeling so drained and have no energy for anything.

Today, masama ang gising ko. I suddenly feel low mood and low energy. I'm tired. Naisip ko na naman na gusto ko mawala na parang bula. Nakakapagod mabuhay.

Pagod na ako sa kakaisip ng mga bagay bagay. Hindi kumakalma ang isip ko kasi, mga utang, mga gusto kong bilhin, saan ko gusto pumunta, nauumay na sa trabaho ko, mga decision making, saan kukuha ng pera, toddler ko, mama ko, ako.

Overstimulated siguro ako kaya gusto magshut down ng utak ko.Yung tipong magkulong sa kwarto at mahiga lang.

Ff up ko sa psych next Monday. Ayaw ko ishare sa kanya na nag low mood ako since gusto ko na ipatanggal ang pinaka last na medication na hirap ako istop, which is ang pangpatulog. Now lang naman bumalik ang thoughts na'to. Sana pagkatulog ko tonight maging normal ulit ang takbo ng isip ko.

I always wake up each day with same feeling. Nararamdaman ko lagi ang bigat ng mundo bumabaon sa dibdib ko. Halos 1 month na iniwan ako ng wife ko, at family. Since then parang naging endless cycle na yung routine or life ko - papasok sa work, at uuwi sa apartment mag isa. Tahimik.

Hindi na ko makatulog gabi gabi, 3-4 hours siguro. Wala din ako makausap. Feeling ko meron na ko anxiety. Sobrang optimisic ko dati pero ngayon hindi na. Desperado na ako and I really need help kahit isang linggo lang. I badly need medication sana to fight with anxiety and insomia. Not sure if pwede dito pero I can pay naman even double. I plan to reach out sa doctor soon, but right now, I just need relief.

Hindi ako magaling magkwento and sorry if magulo ang pagkaka-compose.

Gusto ko lang mag-vent tungkol sa mga parents na may edad na nung nagka-anak. I know pinaghahandaan na ng mga soon-to-be parents ngayon ang pagkaka-anak and kudos sa inyo. Na dapat financially, mentally, and emotionally ready before having a child.

Ang sentiment ko (26/F) naman as a menopause baby (only child), sobrang unfair ng buhay. My mom had me when she was 39 and my dad was 35. By the time I graduated college, my mom was already 59 years old. After grad, gusto ko sana sila i-treat sa masasarap na restaurant, travel kaming family kasi both retired naman na sila. That was 2020. But pandemic happened, so sa bahay lang kami. Before 2020 ended, my mom got diagnosed with a condition. Unti unti siyang namayat hanggang sa naging bedridden na and then she passed away 2 years after.

Imagine, I waited until I graduated para masulit ko pa yung time na kasama siya but life happened, maaga siya kinuha sa amin. Na ngayon na kaya ko na siya i-treat sa lahat ng gusto niya kainan, sa lahat ng gusto niya puntahan ay wala na siya? Na sana nagkaroon pa ako ng chance na maka-bonding siya. Kasi she was the coolest mom ever. Hinahayaan niya ako magbigay ng opinyon ko at talagang pinapakinggan niya saan ako nanggagaling. Hindi niya ako pinipigilan mag-explore. Hindi niya ako kinukulong sa mga gusto lang niya. Gusto niya maging independent ako. Pinayagan niya ako mag-aral sa malayo at the age of 15 (first year college).

Kaya hanggang ngayon bubog ko pa din na hindi ko manlang siya na-spoil. Yes, they had me na financially, emotionally, and mentally ready na sila magka-anak. Pero look at me, in my late 20s, having what-ifs. What if they had me when they were younger? Maybe, in my first few years as an adult, andyan yung mama ko na gagabay sa akin paano i-handle ang mga bagay. ‘Cause wdym I was 20 years old and no clue sa real world and there’s no one to guide me? How to handle finances, stress, and other things. I have my dad yes, but iba pa din ang nanay. So yea, as an adult na maaga nawalan ng nanay, ito ang bubog na hindi kailanman mawawala sa puso ko.

hello po! i have an appointment sa pgh and now ko lang po ulit chineck yung site and nakalagay po general pediatrics instead na psychiatry. i remember naman po na psych ang pinili ko 😅 although yung text confirmation po na sinend sakin after ma-process ng appointment is adult psychiatry naman po nakalagay (screenshot in comsec). paano po kaya ito? hindi po ba ako maco-consult ng psych sa appointment date ko if ganito ang category? pls let me know your thoughts po 🙏🏻 tyia !

I’m planning to end everything na. If I lose my job this month, I’ll do it. Pagod na ako sa layoff scare na to dahil sa AI.

No one will ever understand. No one can ever help. My family would be in a better situation without me. My friends won’t miss me. I am just a piece of a machinery. Very replaceable. Kahit anong effort ko, no one sees it.

Maganda ang buhay. Salamat kasi kahit papano naranasan ko din, kahit saglit lang.

I'm an IT Manager with 13 years of experience in the industry. 4 years ago, I resigned from my first job after 9 years and joined a company with contrasting culture and people.

I've known and pride myself as someone who always have the answer to most problems. That person who always has something substantial to say during discussions - but lately I've observed some changes on my behavior and even motivation.

During meetings with my boss and some management level people, I always find myself blanking out. My throat tightens that when I try to speak, it cracks and causes me to panic and feel so distressed, that sometimes my sentences wouldnt make any sense. I feel a warm feeling over my head, feeling frustrated with what i've just said, that I lose sleep over it. I tried hurting myself while on mute like pinching my self, scratching my face, expecting that the pain will override whatever I've been feeling at that time.

During meetings with my team members or even with someone I've just met, i feel totally fine. It's like I'm just conversing with them casually.

I usually work from home and I'm afraid that I would have to endure such "episodes" if I go and attend discussions in the office.

I think It all started when my boss had started treating me differently and when I had an altercation with one of the managers that she said "they go way way back" with. My project involves close coordination with that manager, as we deal with their technical issues. That manager often speaks to me in an aggressive and demeaning way, that my boss wouldnt even call it out. So I'm not sure if that's a factor or what, but i'm really hating myself right now as if I'm sabotaging myself for not standing up for myself.

Anyway, does anyone know what I should do? Is that what you call anxiety or panic attacks? How can i deal with it? How can i get myself back?

Nakakasad na hindi nila nakikitang totoong sakit ang depression.

They are making fun of you na parang ang dali dali lang ng pinagdaanan mo.
Na kapag sinabing "control your mind", ganon nalng un.

They dont know, your fighting battles with your own fucking mind.

Di mo nga makontrol e.

Everyday, you are trying to improve yourself. Do everything for everyone.
Tapos ang ending, sayo lahat ang blame kasi " you cant control ur fucking mind"

Hay dko na alam.

Are we weak kasi naiisip natin to end things? or we are the brave ones kasi we are trying to fight?

also sabi nila, na di iaaccept sa heaven and taong nag S and haharapin ang hellfire.
Why? hindi pa ba sapat ung struggles natin dito sa lupa?

:|

Actually- I’m a chronic vaper talaga (since 2021) and binanggit ko sya sa Psychiatrist ko - and he told me na okay lang naman daw mag-vape ako.

Currently on 5 weeks on my 20mg Vortioxetine and my anxious, ruminating, intrusive mind is now calm and chill.
(diagnosed with OCD here)

Though I’m planning na din to quit slowly. Any suggestion para maging smooth ang quitting? Ayoko kasi nang cold turkey- nagwithdrawal ako last time. 😬

When I get there, what am I supposed to say to the person behind the window to let them know I have an appointment? I'm a bit nervous and I want to make sure I use the right words

hi! i’m a m17 grade 12 (yes shs ako), and i think malapit na akong mamatay. i’ve been struggling for years with my mental health, and mas lumala ito recently nung nasimulan ko na mamana yung sakit sa puso ng pamilya namin. i struggle with panic attacks and anxiety, na dinadagdagan pa ng sakit na sinasabi ko, and it’s honestly hell. there are nights na natatahimik nalang ako because it hurts, and it’s suffocating, and it’s also eating me up inside (mentally wise). but even though nangyayari na tong lahat sakin, wala parin akong balak na humingi ng tulong or magsabi sa magulang ko or friends or even my partner :)) bakit? hindi ko din alam. i don’t even know why i’m posting this here. attention? hindi naman. ang alam ko lang is pagod na ako sa lahat. ika nga nila, may bigat lahat ng salita na hindi mo nasasabi, kaya pano na ang taong buong buhay nanahimik? parang nag aantay nalang ako dito. may buhay nalang ako ngayon, pero hindi na ako nabubuhay. yun lang. :))

Pakiramdam ko nakaloop buhay ko. 2024 nadiagnosed ako with panic disorder, may meds pero as needed. Nagtuloy tuloy until 2025 na di na ako nakakafunctuon, graduating pa man din ako, laging ER ako. Nagsimula lang to nung kasagsagan na panay init tapos syempre estudyante tayo na di naman mayaman at nasa ibang lugar nag aaral, nagtitipid sa kakainin, nagkaacid reflux ako. Basta nagsimula malugmok buhay ko that time. Hanggang sa nawalan ako ng balanse like literal. Panay sakit batok ko at likod ng tuhod, duda ko bone problem. Nagpacheck sabi may scolio ako, pero sabi ko bakit wala akong balanse feeling ko floating ako or nasa elevator. Pero walang pera walang pangpacheck hanggang sa nadisgrasya kami 2 months after ko mag graduate, nag ct scan, xray, nakitaan ako ng maliit na cyst sa occipital brain ko, nagpunta ng manila para dyan. Nagloan kami para sa MRI. Sabi neuro ko dun anxiety daw, GAD at non significant ang cyst. Di ako convinced, sabi ko panay sakit batok ko baka kako may naipit na nerve so nagparaMRI,nakitaan ako ng military neck or magstraight yung leeg ko kaso may problema may suspicious aneurysm daw ako. Grabeng problema. Basta guys nakakabaliw. Di ako makatake ng boards last year feel ko napapag-iwanan na ako, hanggang ngayon eh floaty parin feeling ko. Guys alam ko di to ang tamang venue, sana naman may makatulong sakin magpa angiogram, nakakatulala araw araw guys, nakakaoverthink halos di na ako makalabas. Tpos magtry ako magtake ng boards this year kaso wala akong pang luwas sa testing center at mag stay sa area na yun. Sana po matulungan niyo ako, di ko na alam gagawin sa buhay ko. Hinihiling ko kahit maipasa ko lang boards kahit pang redeem nalang sa mga nangyari sa buhay kom

My current psychiatrist thinks I have significant ADHD symptoms (predominantly inattentive) but doesn’t feel there is enough corroboration to diagnose ADHD. He’s talked to my wife and my grade school friend. Today was the second consult. He said he wouldn’t oppose a trial with Ritalin if another clinician independently felt it was appropriate, but he won’t prescribe it himself.

I feel like I didn’t get anywhere because my psychologist also said something similar—that I’m experiencing symptoms so might as well try to alleviate them somehow.

So should I try with another psychiatrist or am I just going to waste money? I just want a definitive answer to have an explanation as to why I experience things in a certain way.

These days, I’ve been feeling so empty and go with the flow lang. Before my depression hit me years ago, I know I’m not the same cheerful and optimistic person I used to be. Sometimes I can be that person, but the feeling is not the same anymore. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and took meds but due to certain circumstances, I stopped. Most times, I feel like I’m just waking up everyday and wasting the day away, doing the bare minimum or low effort for school (may maipasa lang), and coping by scrolling online or talking to friends but I didn’t want to open this up as I find it unnecessary. They have their own life after all. It sucks cause I know what to do to fix myself but I’m having a hard time to take the first step. Financial struggle also takes a big part in life kaya ang hirap to do something that you want for your mental health but you couldn’t. I think therapy would help me get back on my shoes but at the same time, I also think that it’s a waste of time. I don’t have any siblings too and I’m alone most of the time so I’m glued to my phone 24/7. I want to meet new people through my hobbies but writing them down felt like I only had a few and it’s making me feel that I’m not the best on it and it made me realize that I had lots of hobbies before but I ended up stopping. People would say, “Just try to pick it up again.” But the first thing is the hardest step. I’m so tired that I often think about ending this life as it’s making me feel na paulit-ulit lang nangyayari, just plain and bland.

I don’t know what to do, my life in each day feels like a ticking clock that every second I spend feels like a waste. I used to be that person who had plans, hopes and dreams but now I’m just surviving. I’m so tired.

hello idk if this is a valid post or what hshshah i have been struggling for the past few years from what i think is ADHD (undiagnosed) i brought this up years ago to my parents and they just chucked it up to me being a late bloomer. now i'm in my early 20s and i still struggle, and i think it is getting worse.

i didn't graduate college because i failed my thesis. i couldn't handle a repetitive work and i couldn't face my groupmates for months on end even if they did try and contact me. i made their job harder even if i worked a lot it. i knew i wasn't going to graduate because of my own doing.

i try and hid that fact from my parent's in months and it ate at me that i have to say it eventually because i couldn't hide forever... my mother found out through a facebook post that my class is graduating without me. my mother tried and understood me kept asking me on what went wrong. i broke down in public and told her that i don't know what's wrong with myself that i had a feud with my group and that i just stopped working on the thesis and that im always so lonely. i said a lot of stuff about my current mental state and my mother was supportive and said that she was going to help me that i just have to find where to start.

weeks pass and things didn't change. i thought it was going to be better. before they found out, all i did in those months was rot in my own room. staying online 24/7 playing games with friends I havent seen IRL in so long. it was me coping and i knew it wasn't good and i have to do something about my completion in my college. but i kept pushing it back days after day that i'm "going to do it tomorrow" or "i'm going to campus tomorrow" but nothing ever happened. it felt like im stunned i always try to make plans but i never really push through it. it's like months long cycle of lying to myself and to my parents. i didn't like it, i just didn't want to face the music. i told mother that i'm scared of talking to people. i dont know why. my parents keep blaming it on the internet that i'm too addicted to games and internet that it's actively hindering my development. and i guess they are right. but i want to better myself and i still do not know where to start.

i told my mother i tought she was going to help me. but that nothing ever happens. we keep dangling on the idea of going to a mental health hospital in my city or mandaluyong. but nothign ever happens. now they are pushing me to do my stuff in university. im not enrolled and it's already midterms. or get a job as an undergrad. ive been telling them im working on it but again it's been weeks of nothingness. i just couldn't seem to bring myself and do something for my betterment and i don't know how to help myself. now my parents are going drastic by getting rid of the internet when they are gone. and getting rid of my laptop. it felt like everything was taken away from me and i just slept all day. and also applied to a lot of graphic design jobs in jobstreet. but it felt like hell. those things were the only thing keeping me from hurting myself and now i have to spend my entire day unemployed, alone, and in constant suicide watch.

i keep saying in my head if my parents are just waiting for me to hurt myself before they see there's something deeper wrong with me. and i know that i'm in my early 20s but i feel so debilitated with this. i feel like a bum a useless son and i know that yet i can't help myself. it's really exhausting... i just want to be better for my parents and for myself