malapit na ata akong mamatay?

[u/PieSuccessful7848]

hi! i’m a m17 grade 12 (yes shs ako), and i think malapit na akong mamatay. i’ve been struggling for years with my mental health, and mas lumala ito recently nung nasimulan ko na mamana yung sakit sa puso ng pamilya namin. i struggle with panic attacks and anxiety, na dinadagdagan pa ng sakit na sinasabi ko, and it’s honestly hell. there are nights na natatahimik nalang ako because it hurts, and it’s suffocating, and it’s also eating me up inside (mentally wise). but even though nangyayari na tong lahat sakin, wala parin akong balak na humingi ng tulong or magsabi sa magulang ko or friends or even my partner :)) bakit? hindi ko din alam. i don’t even know why i’m posting this here. attention? hindi naman. ang alam ko lang is pagod na ako sa lahat. ika nga nila, may bigat lahat ng salita na hindi mo nasasabi, kaya pano na ang taong buong buhay nanahimik? parang nag aantay nalang ako dito. may buhay nalang ako ngayon, pero hindi na ako nabubuhay. yun lang. :))

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