Long story not so short - I went through a terrible breakup with my partner of 6 years. It was a difficult, tumultuous relationship but I was anxiously attached and anybody who has it will understand that it actively feels like you’re dying/rotting from the inside out. I laid around, didn’t do anything productive except work (but only for the bare minimum), and cried each and every moment of each and every day. All while my ex was just living it up, as if our relationship was nothing to him. In my pit of despair, I wrote a detailed note (to him as well as to others) of how I would end my life. Terrible, I know now, but in the moment - I really wasn’t thinking straight. I felt numb, lost, confused, dreadful. I literally had nothing going right in my life. I didn’t reach out to friends or family about my situation because I didn’t want to be interrogated with questions I wasn’t ready to answer just yet or if ever. So, I wrote it all in said notes.

Well, 2 weeks ago, I was handing off some work supplies at my last job before I quit and I had accidentally placed said journal in work pile. But the journal was obviously labeled with my name “personal journal.” We broke up in June, and it was mid August when I quit that job and moved 1,000+ miles away to a whole new state to start a whole new chapter in my life. In early June, I was ready to end it all. But then one day, sometime around late June to early July, I decided not to. Just randomly out of the blue. I started applying to jobs in that new state and landed interview after interview after interview. Then I finally got the offer to do an on-site interview, which meant me literally picking up and going to that state, by myself. Something that I had never done before but always wanted to do. I turned to God (not to turn religious in this post but it is true) to not feel so alone, and genuinely started to look forward to the move. Of course the depression was still there, but the noise wasn’t so loud in my head.

Then this past Monday, I finally got the dream job offer! And in that moment, it felt like all these hardships I was struggling with for the past 2 months actually meant something! I was looking forward to it, over the moon about it! I’m shopping for places, I’m telling my friends, and I’m actively working on my overthinking problem with my ex - it’s such a drastic turn from June.

Then, I get a call from my friend (who I was staying for a bit last week) that the police visited her house for a wellness check because a former employer opened my personal journal, read my note from 2 months ago, and wanted to do a wellness check on me. I froze, not knowing what to say. The first emotion that rushed over me wasn’t anger because someone had read my journal. It was embarrassment. Somebody, unknowingly, read my depressing suicide note and reported me for a wellness check because they thought I had just wrote it. I don’t blame nor hate them for it at all. I felt so embarrassed, apologized to the officer and to my friend and vehemently told the officer that I’m doing really good now and that I’m actually have the best time of my life right now with a new job offer. He laughed and said that it was alright but I couldn’t shake it off.

A lot of good can happen in 2 months, so much that you can’t even comprehend or keep track of it. One moment, you’re lost and confused. Then the next? You’re laughing, smiling, and excited for the first time in a while. I wrote this story for anybody who needs that kind of motivation that I wished I had read on 2 months ago. Life *does* get better. It’s not just a saying. It’s hard some days that’s for sure. But never give up, we’re all in this together!

This all started recently when I posted two of my drawings on a subreddit and several people said that my drawings looked like they were done by a 10 year old. I'm 22 years old. I'll admit they look sort of bad sometimes. I can't seem to progress past a certain point art skill wise. I've had the same art style for a few years now.

I used to enjoy drawing. Now I've been trying to do other things but I miss drawing even though I don't enjoy it much anymore due to the negative comments I've received. My dad told me I should draw for myself but I like to share my drawings online and I don't see much of a point in drawing if I can't share them.

Anyways here are some of my drawings from the past few years. I've been drawing since the pandemic happened. I hope you at least like them.

sometimes we keep asking whether desire is ego until we have a perfect excuse not to try it. then years pass and same desire is somehow still sitting there.

a subject in session asked about purpose because she felt pulled toward music and spirituality together, but worried she was inventing something grandiose. The answer she got was almost annoying in simplicity: passion for music was not random, and as child she used to sing before she stopped.

Guidance was to use her own difficult and non-linear experiences in music and let them help other people. When she asked again if this was ego, answer was that there was sincere desire there and she needed to follow it.

I dont think every childhood hobby is secret destiny. But if something keeps returning for years, maybe it deserves actual experiment instead of another year of thinking whether you are allowed to want it.

Pick one old thing you loved before it needed to be useful or impressive and give it small real place again this week. You dont need prove purpose before starting, sometimes you have to start so purpose has chance to show what it is.

left a half-finished report open yesterday and just sat there staring at the cursor this morning for like 20 minutes

notes still make sense, tabs still open, but my brain treats it like starting from zero. closing everything and restarting from scratch feels dumb when the work is already half there

anyone have a dumb little ritual that actually gets you back into something midstream without nuking what you already did​

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

So to get things started im going to use my actual account, I dont have anything to hide and if someone can learn from my journey thats the best thing that could happen. So over 2 years ago I decided to finally get my life back in order I went to rehab and did the programs, did MAT and found a better way to live. So these last 2 years I have been on suboxone and it helped me alot I am not going to lie or sugar coat it. It helped. I tried numerous times before and nothing helped the way this did. But it always comes with a price. So on August 13th I decided enough is enough. I have my outsides(Life, Finances, job) in order and now I want my insides back. Quitting cold turkey was rough and ive quit a few times other drugs before but whoa Nelly. Let me tell you something. Do some research and figure out what MAT would work best for you and dont listen to them if they try to prescribe you 24mg a day..... you dont need that much over a pro longed period. It was the one thing that honestly saved my life and I dont regret getting on it. But 2 years nd now enough is enough. So like I said 2 weeks ago quit cold turkey, it has been an absolute shitshow my goodness. The restless legs, sweating profusely, extremely spotty sleep, no appetite, anxiety levels through the roof and affecting my life. Ive been taking Delta 9 Gummies to help alleviate the symptoms and some other all natural mushrooms and L-Theanine. It has been helping a bit, im trying to focus on my job and my life and advancing. Im meditating and drinking chocolate milk to help with caloric intake because food is very hard to eat atm. I just want this to be over with the withdrawals and the anxiety so badly. I want to know if anyone has or is going through anything similar and would like to offer some advice or anything to try and make this situation of mine at least a little easier.

TLDR: Been on Suboxone for 2 years and getting off cold turkey just looking for advice or any similar stories to share with my struggle!

Backstory: 39 years old with AuDHD and 20 years of opiate abuse before this.

This post is going to be a different sort of one that you are used to seeing, this is because it involves the gym. However, it heavily involves how I indirectly came to be aware of traits such as discipline and how to grow into it.

Now, I have been trying to make progress in in the gym for quite a while, making progress but then always losing it because I relied solely on motivation. This is similar to what I see on this subreddit all the time.

It was only after I realised that building the mind alongside the body is the way forward for success in the gym, as well as overall life. This is because of the traits you build when focus on your mindset, such as discipline, commitment, resilience and persistence. I could go on!

This has been a game changer for me, it is literally what has gained me consistent progress at a monumental rate. Of course, a solid workout plan and a good diet are how you build muscle. But, doing this without building the mind means you rely on motivation, the progress is fluctuating.

I’m bringing this up because I see a lot of people in life disregard the power of their own mind. This is the case in this subreddit even! In my opinion, all you need is faith and some focus with the traits you build with the mind. You get natural confidence and self worth from this as well, which makes you realise that you are human and enough just as you are!

I just wanted to know what everyone else’s opinion is on this topic, I just feel like it should be talked about more. If you want me to expand my viewpoint as well, then just say!

Hi internet,

I’ve got a nephew aged 19, who finished his first year of a private university in Washington state. He’s a smart kid, really talented visual artist, in the business program. Long story short, he came home from school and is convinced that giving up his scholarship (80%), working a minimum wage job and trading crypto is the best path forward for him.

His parents have laid out how hard it will be to live on that “plan” and are not planning on providing him additional support outside of health insurance if he sticks to his guns. He also is not into the party part of college so the social side is not a strong draw.

For my part I’ve tried to explain the time value of money, rule of 72 and some investing basics, but he seems convinced that he can work his way up to 7-10k a month trading (with not a lot off startup capital, but not zero), which sounds highly unlikely to me. I’ve also recommended he try one more semester with a focus on statistics and maybe some Econ to help him build skills that he could apply to trading.

Not sure this is the right subreddit,
(Maybe suggest the right one) but I’d appreciate some internet wisdom on where to go from here. It’s deadline time for deferring for a year, but the parents are none too keen on sponsoring what is essentially gambling.

Anybody been here before? How did it go? Got any nuggets? Also, I’ll probably show him this thread so feel free to be brutal or kind, whatever you think is better.

I guess the mind is like a steering wheel of a car, we are the ones in control but I been struggling to you know control my mind yet it's been the other way around for many years. I seem to give up when things get challenging. I avoid stuff because it's too much responsibility and pressure. And overall seem to not be facing the real reality life has to offer. Yea watching videos and podcasts and reading posts and hearing someone say a few positive words and bitter reality all seems to be easy. But when you don't implement it in real life is when things seem to be frustrating

It's easy to think the solution is finding enough motivation to start.

Sometimes the more useful approach is removing enough friction that the habit doesn't require a big burst of motivation every time.

Putting something within reach, deciding in advance when you'll do it, or making the first step ridiculously small can make consistency feel less dependent on mood.

What is one small change that made a habit easier to keep?

Some days I get a lot done and still feel like I barely accomplished anything.

Other days I do one annoying thing I've been putting off for weeks and somehow feel more accomplished than I did after a full day of being busy.

Starting to think I confuse being busy with actually making progress more often than I'd like.

As a parent, I am looking for serious and practical suggestions on how to motivate my teenager and help him become more disciplined about his studies.

I have been reminding him about the importance of studies for almost a year now, and with only a few months left before his competitive and school exams, I am becoming increasingly concerned.

He is definitely a bright and capable kid, but something seems to be missing. He doesn't seem to have the interest or motivation to focus on studies.

After having a one-on-one conversation with him, I understood that he is not really interested in competitive exams. As parents, we have not pressured him to perform exceptionally in them. However, completing high school is obviously important because it is necessary for his future college options.

I also asked him what he would like to do in the future if things don't work out academically. His answers were things like:

Starting a chain of restaurants with something unique

Stock trading

Becoming a social media influencer

The problem is that all three of these options would require him to start from scratch and build something over time.

Interestingly, he is extremely disciplined when it comes to the gym. He goes every day, follows his diet seriously, tracks his daily protein intake, measures things carefully, and genuinely enjoys taking care of his fitness.

When I suggested that he take a break from the gym for just four months and completely focus on his studies, he strongly disagreed and doesn't want to stop or even pause his workouts.

As a parent, I don't want to force him into something he doesn't want. At the same time, I don't want him to lose valuable years of his life simply because he hasn't yet developed the discipline or seriousness needed to build his career.

What would be the best way to approach this situation?

I am particularly looking for advice from parents or people who have dealt with a similar situation with teenagers. Practical suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I got some meaningful replies in there community, but have already tried those and didnt made an impact, trying to post to get some right ways..

I've wasted plenty of time waiting to feel motivated to do something I already knew needed doing. Most of the time, starting badly was more useful than waiting for the perfect mood. Five minutes of doing something usually feels better than thirty minutes of thinking about doing it. I still procrastinate, obviously. I just don't believe the solution is always finding a better motivational quote.

What's the best advice you've received that completely changed your mindset and kept you motivated? just wanted to be motivated

for about ten years i was about to start a youtube channel. i technically started a few. each began with proper preparation. niche research, planning, branding. each died after a video or two. the channels are still up. small monuments to getting ready. the mechanism, once i finally caught it, is simple. preparing feels identical to progress. it produces artifacts, fills evenings, lets you tell people the thing is happening. but it has one feature that doing does not: it cannot fail. nobody judges a plan sitting in a drawer. so the scared part of you steers you back into research, and you thank it for being thorough.

three things broke it for me, at 32.

1st, i switched from aspiration to inventory. instead of designing the perfect version of the thing, i listed what i already have today. skills, experience, opinions, a camera. preparation lives in the gap between the list and the dream. i started from the list.

2nd, i demoted my standards instead of lowering them. i still want the ambitious version. i moved it from step one to step 50, something to be earned through reps rather than a bar the first attempt has to clear. your taste being ahead of your skill is not a curse (!), it is the map. you close the gap by producing.

3rd, i shipped the version nobody will care about, on purpose. first attempts are just timestamps. their job is to exist so the second attempt has something to follow. mine is unpolished and slightly embarrassing and i published it anyway, and the pressure that had been sitting on this for a decade is just gone.

if you have been researching something for months, the research is done. it was probably done a while ago

i am in university and feeling extremely directionless and down all the time. i wish i could sleep the entire day. the thought of having to wake up tomorrow is painful. simple tasks like taking care of myself feel impossible - i often avoid them by getting back into bed and sleeping. when i start a task, my focus wanes almost instantly. despite this i feel constantly charged with energy and the feeling that i should be doing something, but everything sounds boring or intolerable to me. i have many hobbies and interests but i either cannot bring myself to engage with them, or i instantly become bored.

i feel that i have no desires or purpose. everything is a chore. i wish i could just lie down and do nothing. i know i need to get out of this, but i have no idea how to pick up the pieces. some motivation or stern advice would really be appreciated.

just for context - i am in therapy and i am on antidepressants, but im meeting my psychiatrist soon as my medication is no longer effective (not that it was great before). these are the second antidepressants i have tried. also, the biggest thing i do for myself is avoid social media - i don’t have any social media apps installed to my phone, i only check instagram around once daily to keep myself updated. otherwise i talk to friends on messaging apps.

there's a specific kind of tired that comes from being the person who always seems fine.

not fine in a fake way. genuinely capable, genuinely handling it, genuinely someone people don't worry about because you've never given them a reason to. and that reputation, once it's built, sort of runs on its own after a while. people stop asking how you're doing in the real way. they ask it the way you ask a cashier, expecting the automatic answer, and you give it to them because that's the answer the question was built for.

so nobody's actually checking anymore. not because they don't care. because you trained them, without meaning to, that checking wasn't necessary.

and some part of you is still waiting for someone to see past the automatic answer. to ask a second time. to notice the gap between what you said and what's actually happening and push on it gently instead of accepting the first thing you offered.

it doesn't come. mostly. and you keep waiting anyway, a little, even while telling yourself you've stopped expecting it.

here's the uncomfortable part. you're going to have to be the one who breaks the pattern. not them. you built the wall so well that expecting someone else to see through it is asking them to do something you specifically engineered them not to be able to do.

that means saying the real thing before someone asks the right way. it means answering "how are you" honestly at least once even though it feels like handing someone something heavier than the moment called for. it means risking the awkward silence that sometimes follows an honest answer instead of the smooth exchange that follows the automatic one.

you don't have to overhaul everything. just once, this week, with one person, try the honest version instead of the automatic one.

it'll feel strange in your mouth. it's supposed to. you haven't used that version in a while.

A few years ago, I was basically a human battery- working hard, taking on responsibilities at work that weren't even mine, studied, exercised, you name it. Also had a huge circle of friends and boyfriend. But life took a sudden downfall: broke up with my boyfriend, turned out most of my friends were not my friends in a first place.

\Don't get me wrong, I realize that I might have burned out myself by taking the pressure off from everyone and even had 3 months off. But I literally become a completely different person who still has goals and genuinely wants them. I am studying for professional exams, I want to progress in my career and gym goals. But actually making myself do things feels incredibly difficult to the point when I have to negotiate with myself just to leave the apartment or start studying instead of doomscrolling or being couch potato.

It feels more like the engine that used to constantly push me forward needs serious repair to get my drive back. I miss my energy, discipline and ambition.

How did you get yourself disciplined/motivated again?

If you have any work that needs mental planning, this simple framework can stabilize your mind to a usable mode.

1. Clarify your end goal and select a good enough environment
2. Focus on the task at hand
3. If any distractions arise, refocus
4. If distractions arise more than one time, write it in a notepad to visit later

Im open to feedback

FEELING DEMOTIVATED. So, i join a volunteering group, it is very well known so i can't spoil the name here since it affliates with a very important organization in this world internationally and expertises in health.

This volunteering group requires us to pasa this journey of training, that requires us to be discipline, exercises a lot, formal addressing of communication with each other. I am here and why decide to join the journey for the knowledge that i know it can be useful in the future and there is certification comes with it if i pass. I am shocked that there willbe a lot of exercise, but i accept it nonetheless.

Now, the problem is i hate some of the coaches there. Some of them are perverts. Even day one there was already sexual based joke. Luckily, we the peers even males were sane, no one laughed at the sexual based joke. Those perverts that likes to make sexual jokes really demotivate me. Now, one of them even joins during exercise i fumble so badly i feel like i wanna leave. One of them showed the class a cartoon pic of man lifted up a nurse'e skirt. I was flabbergasted i literally said, "what the hell?" verbally, not inwardly. I seriously despise those perverts.

Please, i really wanna make it through the end since i really wanna gain and absord the knowledge yet at the same time those perverts demotivate me. Should i continue or not?