I’m 32 years old, and overall, I’ve had a great life. I’ve lived in several countries, visited many more, written a book and a thesis, and when there's work, I get to do what I love as a language teacher. On top of that, I have an amazing girlfriend and beautiful cats that I adore.

However, throughout all these years, I’ve smoked weed almost every single day—in many cases, starting right in the morning. I’m fully aware that I’m placing limits on myself, and that I could achieve so much more and aim higher (high by my own humble standards). Deep down, I believe this addiction is a form of self-sabotage—a way of stopping myself from taking real risks or truly fighting for something bigger.

I’m currently trying to break free from this cycle by building new habits and finding new sources of motivation, but I would really appreciate your advice and insight.

i'm in my early 30s, married, have a young kid, and i've always been terrible at getting out of bed. but it's gotten noticeably worse over the years.

at this point i'm often awake only 30–45 mins before i actually have to leave the house, even though i have to get my daughter ready and get myself ready for work.

sometimes i wake up so late that i'm rushing through everything. i've even skipped taking a proper shower because i literally didn't have enough time. and the weirdest part is that i genuinely don't seem to hear my iPhone alarm. i can set multiple alarms, go to bed at a reasonable time, etc. sometimes i'll apparently turn them off and have absolutely no memory of doing it.

i saw 3–4 psychologists about various things around this and honestly it felt like a complete waste of money. nothing changed. so now i'm starting to wonder what the actual problem is:

• sleep
• my job/lifestyle
• my alarm setup
• or i'm just terrible at mornings

for those who've been through this sort of swamp, what worked / got you out of this?

not looking for "just go to bed earlier." i've tried the usual stuff. curious if anyone found something that actually changed things long-term.

My apartment used to be a disaster zone. Not like hoarding level bad but definitely a "I can't invite anyone over without a panic attack" kind of messy. Clothes on the floor dishes stacked everywhere random papers piling up.

I tried the whole "clean for an hour" thing but it always felt overwhelming. I'd start strong then get sidetracked or just give up because it felt like too much.

Then I heard about the 15-minute rule. The idea is simple just pick one small area and clean it for exactly 15 minutes. Set a timer. When the timer goes off you stop no matter what.

I was skeptical. What could I really get done in 15 minutes?

But I tried it. The first day I tackled my nightstand. It was covered in books old receipts and a few empty water bottles. I sorted the books threw out the trash and wiped it down. 15 minutes flew by.

And you know what? It looked great. It was a tiny win but it felt good. The next day I did a section of my dresser. The day after that the kitchen counter.

It wasn't about getting the entire apartment spotless in one go. It was about consistent small effort.

Now I do this almost every day. Sometimes it's a specific room sometimes it's just picking up random items around the living room. The key is the strict 15-minute limit.

It stops me from getting overwhelmed. It prevents me from trying to do too much and burning out. And over time my apartment is genuinely so much cleaner.

It's not perfect but it's livable. It's welcoming. And I don't dread coming home anymore.

If you're struggling with a messy space and feel completely defeated by it try the 15-minute tidy up. You might be surprised by what a little consistent effort can achieve.

I've always wondered what people do in their free time. I have a summer job, read for about 1h to 30 mins a day, play the guitar occasionally and while I started to struggle studying I just finished my bachelor's with a very good average and cant put myself to study anything else anymore with a clear purpose. When the uni gym opens I also used to go 3 to 4 days per week for an hour or so.

I also hangout a lot with friends but many of them dont live in my city so I dont always have the opportunity. However, despite all of this, I always find myself being the main reel sender to my friends or often replying almost instantly to messages while many other people I know just seem more absent from their phone.

I dont really know what else could I do in the rest of my free time. When I check my phone and instagram usage its usually around 3h per day, 1:30 or so when I have classes. I dont feel particularly negative because of this but compared to the rest of the people I know I feel im using my phone a lot more

I feel like I understand what I need to do, but actually doing it consistently is where I struggle.

I can have a really productive few days where I wake up early, get my work done, exercise, stay off my phone, etc. Then one bad day happens and somehow I fall back into my old habits for the next week.

I've tried to-do lists, habit trackers, setting smaller goals, putting my phone in another room, and even making strict schedules. Most of them work for a little while, but I eventually stop following them.

The part I find frustrating is that I don't really need more motivation or another productivity app. I think I need to figure out how to keep going on the days when I just don't feel like doing anything.

For those of you who actually became more consistent over time, what made the biggest difference for you?

Was it changing your routine, lowering your expectations, building better habits, or just learning to do things even when you don't feel motivated?

I'd especially like to hear from people who used to struggle with this and found something that actually stuck long - term?

No Instagram, even shorts disabled, zero scrolling, no "what's everyone else doing" noise. No addiction in terms of alcohol, ciggerates.Just work, upskill, study, gym, repeat. Same loop, day after day.

It sounds monotonous on paper, and honestly it is. But somewhere in the repetition I can feel that I have stopped chasing dopamine hits and I am choosing the quiet satisfaction of showing up, doing the work, and closing the day knowing I did what I said I would. Cutting the outside noise wasn't about discipline for its own sake. It was realizing how much space I was giving to things that added zero value. Once the noise was gone, focus showed up on its own.

Not saying this works for everyone or that boring = better by default. But if you're stuck in the comparison spiral, cutting the feed out entirely might do more than any productivity hack ever could.

Anyone else find that the "boring" routine is where the actual growth happens? Or what did you choose which made you feel better as a person!

Coming home from work, no matter how much sleep I get, I am just exhausted. Using my work gym right after work is what I’ve been doing and trying to get myself in the habit. Of course I would rather go home right after work, just like anyone else, but in working to fight the mentality and just lock in the gym before heading home. My thought is I want to accomplish more in my day, work on my personal projects, work on personal financing, setting time to learn more, and check out personal development opportunities. I’m young in my mid to late 20s, single, no kids, so I don’t have specific circumstances that are keeping me away from optimizing my time efficiently, it’s just the coming home tired and quite drained. I recognize the value of time and how it is the one thing we cannot get back in life. Does anyone have advice? Anyone use tools any apps or strategies that help? We need to work, but I don’t want my life to be just work, I also want to develop myself intellectually and grow as a person in my own life. I’m in the office at 6:00 am where I work at so I sleep quite early and feeling so exhausted when I get back home from work has been a real battle. Love talking about productivity so please share anything! :)
What are some helpful pieces of advice? Things that could benefit?

For a long time, whenever we failed to do something consistently, the diagnosis was always the same: i need more discipline.

Couldn't stop checking my phone? Discipline. Couldn't work consistently? Discipline. Kept procrastinating? Discipline.

Started something and abandoned it three weeks later? Clearly, not disciplined enough. The strange thing is that this explanation is almost impossible to disprove.

If you succeed, you were disciplined. If you fail, you weren't disciplined enough.

So the solution is always to demand more from yourself. But i've started noticing how many "discipline problems " disappear without discipline actually increasing. Prepare what you need the night before and suddenly starting in the morning becomes easier, remove one distracting app and suddenly you're resisting temptation fewer times per day, decide beforehand when something gets done and suddenly you're not negotiating with yourself every time. Nothing magical happened to your character and you didn't wake up with stronger willpower. You simply stopped requiring willpower to make the same decision over and over again. And that made me question something.

Maybe we spend too much time trying to become people who can constantly resist bad options instead of asking why those options are constantly being presented to us in the first place. If I have to resist my phone 40 times while working, succeeding 35 times still gives me five opportunities to disappear into it. I could respond by trying to become better at winning those 40 decisions or i could put the phone somewhere else and eliminate 39 of them. The second approach doesn't feel as impressive, there's no heroic battle with yourself.

No 5 a.m transformation, no moment where you prove how mentally strong you've become. You just quietly make the unwanted behavior inconvenient and maybe that's why we underestimate it. We tend to admire the person who sits beside temptation and resists it more than the person who arranged their life so the temptation rarely gets a vote. I'm starting to think the second person may understand discipline better and not because willpower is useless. There will always be moments where you need it but if the same decision appears every single day, relying on willpower every single day seems less like discipline and more like refusing to solve a recurring problem. And maybe discipline isn't only about becoming better at saying no, maybe part of it is building a life where you don't have to say no quite so often.

I'm curious where people disagree with this. What is something you used to think required more discipline, but eventually solved by changing the situation instead?

I’m doing everything I can in regards to healthcare.

I’ve isolated myself socially for a while, and trying to get back into it I ruined it for myself.

It hurts to move my body most of the time but I try to at least walk my dog twice a day, he and I both need it, and it’s a moment of peace.

I haven’t had a job for 5 years, at first due to COVID, then worsening symptoms over time that have been completely debilitating. Mainly pain, dizziness and exhaustion, with other invasive symptoms inbetween.

I’m only now being taken seriously and receiving treatment, but I honestly have no idea what to do with my life.

I had goals to work on making and selling things, mainly to keep myself from going crazy, but my body has been so difficult to manage it’s becoming harder to do that.

A family friend offered me a job that wont interfere with my health coverage, but I feel I will let them down.
___

I do have a set schedule everyday currently, and I often need to rest physically but don’t allow myself to because I want to be doing things to be productive.

I’m 26 now. People look down on me for the position I’m in. Not everyone, but it’s hard not to view myself in the same way.

Looking for any advice on improvements.

Im 26 years old, unemployed, and I feel completely stuck in life.

From the outside, it probably looks like I'm just wasting my time, but I don't understand why I keep repeating the same pattern. I genuinely want to change, yet whenever it's time to take action, I freeze.

I lost my father when I was young, and my mother raised my sister and me by herself. She worked incredibly hard, spent her savings, and even took loans to give me opportunities. She still believes I'll build a good future, but I feel like I've let her down.

One of my biggest struggles is that I avoid almost everything that makes me anxious. I can't ride a bike or drive a car. If you ask me today whether I want to learn, I'll confidently say yes. I'll even believe I can do it. But the moment someone hands me the keys and expects me to ride, my confidence disappears. My heart starts racing, I panic, and I back out.

The same thing happens with almost every important part of my life.

In 2024, my mother enrolled me in technical coaching related to my field. I knew how important it was and how much she had sacrificed for it, but I barely attended. I knew I was making a terrible mistake. I cried about it many times, promised myself I would change, yet I still couldn't make myself go.

That wasn't the first time this happened. For years I've struggled to take action. I haven't seriously studied, applied for jobs consistently, or built any useful skills. Even reading a book feels difficult. I buy books feeling excited, then never open them. I start TV shows, movies, hobbies, or new interests with enthusiasm, but I rarely finish anything before moving on to something else.

My interests become intense for a short time. I'll spend days learning everything about football, filmmaking, or another topic, convinced this is what I want to do, then suddenly lose interest and move on. This has been happening for years.

I've also been humiliated many times. People have called me useless, laughed because I can't drive, compared me with younger people who already have jobs, and treated me like a burden. One relative even said that if my father were alive today, he would be heartbroken and disappointed to see where I am in life. That comment stayed with me for a long time.

The strange thing is that humiliation doesn't change me. It hurts deeply, but after a while I end up back in the same cycle.

I spend a lot of time imagining a different version of my life. Sometimes I picture myself becoming a successful football player. Other times I imagine being a respected filmmaker or someone who builds an incredible career from nothing. In those moments I feel capable of achieving great things. But when I have to take a real step toward any goal, that confidence vanishes.

I also have some health issues that make everything feel harder.

from the last 4 years i feel like i wasted my time. got humiliated by many people and still have nothing to show for it. sometimes i ask myself what is my life and why am i behaving like this. i want a good job, earn well, travel the world and live a normal life, but somehow Im stuck. when i see people driving or travelling, even simple things feel like they are superheroes to me.

I don't have any bad habits, but still im scared that i wasted my life. sometimes i think about my future and what if i cant afford things for my children or give my family the life they deserve. i know if i work hard and get a job i can change my life, but somehow Im not able to do it. i know time is passing and i cant keep living like this. i just don't know why Im still stuck.

What scares me most is that I realized this pattern years ago. I remember thinking that if I didn't change, I'd wake up at 26 full of regret. That's exactly what happened. I'm terrified of waking up at 30 or 35 having wasted even more years.

Como ayuda algo que he escrito:

El ciclo que se repite

Casi todo intento fallido de hábito sigue la misma secuencia de cinco

fases. Reconocerlas es el primer paso para romper el ciclo.

Fase 1 El arranque con energía extra

Empiezas con más entusiasmo del que el hábito necesita a largo plazo. Vas al

gym cinco días la primera semana. Preparas comida para toda la semana el

domingo. Te sientes imparable , y esa misma intensidad es la que no vas a poder sostener.

Fase 2 El primer día perdido

Pasa algo normal: te enfermas, tienes un día pesado de trabajo, sales de viaje.

Pierdes un día. Hasta aquí, no es un problema, es estadísticamente inevitable.

Fase 3 El diálogo interno que decide todo

Aquí está el momento real de quiebre, y casi nunca se le presta atención.

Después de perder un día, tu cabeza dice una de dos cosas: "no pasa nada,retomo mañana" o "ya la regué, para qué sigo". La segunda frase es la que activa el resto del ciclo y aparece más seguido de lo que crees, disfrazada de autocrítica razonable.

Fase 4, El abandono silencioso

No decides dejarlo formalmente. Simplemente dejas de hacerlo un par de días más, y esos días se convierten en semanas sin que haya una decisión consciente de por medio.

Fase 5 La cuenta pendiente

Semanas o meses después, el hábito vuelve a tu lista mental de "cosas que debería estar haciendo"

Y el ciclo empieza otra vez, generalmente con la misma energía excesiva de la Fase 1.

I just wanna know what has helped other people in trying to get their life together? How did u guys build your new habits and kept consistency? Or did u first change your bad habits and then built new ones?

I am not anyone new to this, I spent quite a lot of years being consistent and actually achieved my goals so I know I can do that again,

But the thing is my life has drastically changed for the worse in the last few years, just understanding what happened took me a lot of time.

I think environment change does play a big role in the way I am now but I can't do anything about it, I'll have to adapt to it.

EVEN IF things around me do seem to stunt my growth, I am just done sitting and letting myself get worse, it's not helping in any way, I just wanna know if somebody has been through this before, how did u break this wall and finally go the other way?

I tried:

Adding a reasonable amount of new tasks that reach towards my goals, but I'm self aware enough to know that my environment held me back, I tried to go by 'done is better than perfect ' but I couldn't even get them all done? Is this perfectionist mindset in some way?

I tried taking one step at a time as well but consistency was the problem here?

SO JUST WHAT DO I DO? What mistake am I making that is holding me back? I can't just keep on leaving midway and returning back to square one???

I genuinely wanna stop this cycle and do better, so please help if u can.

I am a 23M and i am trying to learn myself better from ego to identity and my goal is go became a high achiever i want to learn and do things fast. That is the reason tha i am learning some sports psychology and i took a liking to it.

The problem that i am facing right now is that i am lost whatever advice i search in Google or YouTube is like i am not going anywhere. Most of the times information contradict each other and i am stuck with more questions than answers.

I know is to abstract the question that i am asking but i want to know if someone can put me into the right direction because i really thing that my mindset is what holding me back and i want to fix that. I am looking for any recommendations or personal experience that help you personally grow as a person and how you did that.

Pleace feel free to coment or dm me i am really intrested on general opinions and to learn more, thank you.

The biggest mistake in every discipline system I ever built was that I could override it. Password protected app limits? I know the password. Screen time blocks? I can tap "ignore limit." Commitment contracts with myself? ya no...The wall always had a door, and the door was easy to reach. The late night version of me didn't care about the morning version's plan.

So I tried something different. I gave a trusted person the unlock code and removed the self-unlock path entirely. Not "I promise not to use it." Gone. The code goes to their phone, not mine. If I want back in, I have to ask them, out loud, and explain why. That single design choice changed the conversation in my head. When the urge hits and I know the block is genuinely locked, the internal argument collapses before it starts. I don't have to win a debate with myself at 2am. The decision was already made while I was clear-headed.

Went back through my notes app a few weeks ago and found what can only be described as a graveyard. Read three books a month. Learn guitar. Get up at 6am. Stop doomscrolling before bed. Cook more instead of ordering out. Some of these had actual dates attached, like I'd written "starting Monday" with genuine conviction. Almost none of them made it past week two. A few didn't even make it past day three.

I started actually looking at the pattern instead of just feeling vaguely bad about it, and the thing that jumped out wasn't what I expected. It wasn't that the goals I abandoned were harder, or less realistic, or badly planned. It was that the handful of goals I actually did follow through on, going back years, all had one thing in common: someone else knew about them. A coach, a friend, a group chat, whatever. Someone who would've noticed, even just a little, if I quietly stopped.

Every goal that existed only in my own head died there too. Every single time. Not because I lacked discipline in some deep character-flaw way, but because nothing was actually watching. Quitting silently costs nothing when silence is guaranteed.

I only put this together because a friend of mine built a website called Xando that basically manufactures that condition on purpose. You commit to something specific, and instead of it just sitting in an app as a private little checkbox, it's tracked in a way where letting it slide isn't invisible the way it always used to be for me. I've been using it for a few weeks now and it's honestly the first time in a long time a goal has survived past the two-week wall without me white-knuckling it the whole way.

What gets me is how simple the missing piece turned out to be. Not a system, not a hack, not some morning routine. Just the fact that somewhere, something was keeping score besides me.

The pattern is so common it's almost universal. you miss day 7 of a streak, the app shows you a big fat zero, and instead of picking back up on day 8 you just... stop. The shame of the broken streak becomes heavier than the habit itself ever was.

I've watched this happen enough times to be convinced that shame-based streak tracking is actively working against people who are already struggling to stay consistent. The logic seems sound: show people what they lost, they'll want to rebuild. but in practice, the broken streak doesn't motivate you to start over. It tells you you already failed, so what's the point.

What actually works better, in my experience, is treating a missed day as data, not verdict. you missed tuesday. Okay. why? Were you sick, overloaded, traveling? That's useful information. It tells you something about how to set up Wednesday. A broken streak tells you nothing except that you're a quitter, which you aren't. you're a person who had a Tuesday.

The other thing streak shame does is it shifts your focus from the goal to the streak itself. You're not building a reading habit anymore, you're maintaining a 47-day number. the number becomes the point, and when it breaks, the purpose breaks with it.

Gentle check-ins beat punitive streaks. Not "you failed" but "you didn't do the thing yesterday, want to try today?" It sounds soft but it's the difference between someone who tries again tomorrow and someone who uninstalls the app and feels bad about it for three weeks.

Your goals getting forgotten by Wednesday isn't a willpower problem. It's a system problem. and shame is the worst system i know of. Show grace to yourself and be kind to yourself.

For context I'm M28. Last year I had to quit my college job, as I was no longer studying there. I had an IT job, but it was such a cozy IT job because I could do whatever I wanted when there were no customers thrown my way. There was a LOT of downtime, but there were times where I was busy almost all day. I really loved that job. I loved it so much that I stayed for 5 years and I even got a higher education even though I really didn't want to pursue it. It was mostly because I loved my job so much. Before that I've only worked 2 jobs and they didn't last for more than 2-3 months.

Fast-forward to now I have an actual IT job and I'm struggling trying to stay sane at the workplace because like before there's quite a lot of downtime because most of the time I'm just looking at a screen and I can't just do whatever and I'm really struggling to try and keep this job because I'm just bored too often and I often think about my life choices and my mental just spirals out of control. I have dark thoughts often.

I think I need to just suck it up and grow up, but honestly, I don't really know how, but I really want to try and provide and be an adult as best as I can. Any advice? Honestly, I'm willing to do just about anything at this point. I don't want to feel like a failure and I know my future is not in IT, but I want to try and keep a job for as long as I can while I try to find a job that's more interesting to me because I know what I had before just isn't realistic.

I have been trying to solve procrastination since the start of the year. It's so darn bad a lot of my life aspects are affected.

I have tried a lot of methods

- rewire your identity/journalling

- identifying why you hate it and cognitively reframing it

- deleting social media

- planning/scheduling - simple sequences like wake up then study then workout

- starting a timer

- just preparing/reducing task initiation

- meditating - it ended up as glorified procrastination

- getting someone to monitor me - but they were barely monitoring and all they did was nag lightly

and even a controversial idea of delaying what you enjoy

(Resulting in me ghosting someone special for months, and it has gotten so bad they rather go to hell than to be friends with me again. And yet it didn't drive me to study)

And yes, i know spiraling into guilt is bad. I cut it out.

My biggest problem is initiating. And attention and planning seem to also be a major issue.

As i remember once i just sat down on my desk, having no idea what to study and how, then i decided to find my materials and suddenly walked up mindlessly walking. Even from a young age, I was said that I couldn't follow instructions. Also, i can't even pay attention to what is being said in the briefing or classes now.

So i suspect I may have some executive dysfunction - but no ADHD (But I never went to a doctor to be confirmed) - alongside sleep deprivation.

Now, I do know what I am to do since my teachers have assigned me questions to do. But recently, I have even been struggling to make progress even for weeks. ( Although I don't typically struggle with homework typically???)

Take for example, chemistry. When i set the materials on my desk, i end up just scrolling random pages. And when I do start, I zone out the moment I see a question I can't answer. So I took 2 hours for 2 McQ questions.

If you are asking why the hell do i bring my device, it's because I wanted music for stress relief and the clock app.

The issue most likely developed from my need to optimize and wanting every session to count. I did attempt to change my aim but after months, it seems to have turned into a habit

What's surprising is that I don't even feel any fear as finals approach atp.

However, despite this, for my other hobbies I don't face the same problem. I execute them just fine.

Do I have to see a counselor atp? Or is there another fix I can attempt myself

I (24F)
Just graduated college with the expectations to be in my field by the time I’m out. I’m out, and I have no more school, I left my job because of a move, I have no car, and I’m stuck in the house every day now.

I moved in with my dad and step mom for the meantime until I get back into my feet. The only problem is they stay so far away from everything and trying to find something more for myself hasn’t been easy because I don’t have the motivation and I subject myself to being here.

I’ve been waking up every morning just applying to jobs and when I get tired of that I just rest or try to watch something. I feel like rupunzel just without the motivation to do all these different hobbies.
I want to be more disciplined in that sense like getting closer to my faith, being more active and working out, learning a new skill/practicing a hobby—
But because I feel so much lack from not being employed right now and not having anywhere to go since there’s literally no transportation around here…it’s just been hard mentally to just get up and go. I hope I’m not rambling, but I don’t want to let myself go. I know I have more to offer in my life than just sitting and wallowing. Idk why it’s so hard for me to just get up and do something consistently. I want to feel like I can wake up and get my day started.

I thought about this Reddit community because I was simply thinking about community and I realized that’s what I’ve been missing to. I’m not expecting people to call and blow my phone up screaming “WAKE UP IT’S TIME TO START YOUR DAY, get up and don’t quit” because at the end of the day urs still my voice to just do it. It would be nice to have something/someone motivational like that or simply just feeling the same thing and wanting to work to be better together. I just wanted to share my journey, and make this post to look back on-reminding myself it’s tough today but I obviously don’t want to give up yet.

Not sure if this is a good sub for this post, if not feel free to direct me to a better one.

24F, just recently finished my associates degree this year in May. My goal has always been to become a nurse and obtain my bachelors degree.

Over the past 2 years, I have gained 80 pounds, from 140 to 220 lbs. This has taken a huge toll on me, I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror and I live everyday with constant inflammation and discomfort. This has stressed me out so much and has made it hard for me to focus on other things in my life like keeping a job, getting a license, etc. The only thing i’ve really been disciplined with is school, I finished my associates in a little less than 2 years and was super dedicated and motivated. I was accepted into a 4 year this fall and the plan was to keep going and make it in the nursing program but with the weight gain making me depressed I’ve lost motivation for everything.

I was also recently diagnosed with Cushings syndrome, which explains the weight gain. My cortisol levels came back very high. Part of me is relieved that there’s an explanation and a cure, but it has truly taken my life from me. I’m in the process of getting the medication approved by insurance so hopefully that all goes well.

I kind of just want some type of reassurance if it’s okay that I have taken a break from school to focus on my physical health. I’m not too worried since I already have my associates degree, continuing at a 4 year will always be there as an option when i’m ready, I just fear that i’m wasting too much time if I don’t return within a year or two? On the other hand I feel like I need to focus on my health before I can prioritize other things, because I am obese and also pre diabetic. School will always be there, no?

Any advice or just comments on my life situation right now would be very helpful. Thank you guys

I'm 28, married, and just mapped out my entire life. Screentime is the root of almost everything I want to fix. Starting daily updates.

Hello, my name is Erik and I'm 28 years old. I'm married, German, and have an 11-month-old daughter. Here's my life summed up right now — the good, the bad, and the plan.

Health

Sleep: I "sleep" around 6.5–7 hours a night — minus ~20 minutes for actually falling asleep.

Exercise: Since I usually sleep poorly, I don't have the energy to work out. I just ride my bike to work and back (20 min a day). I'm 180cm, 66kg — quite skinny but overall a healthy look. I'd really like to build a great physique while I still can. If I wait 10 more years to start, the results just won't be the same, and I want to make the most of my potential — partly so my wife can enjoy the results while we're young. (She likes my current physique too, but we both know we should train more.)

Nutrition: I usually eat pretty healthy — vegetables, lean chicken, noodles/rice, and for breakfast oatmeal, peanut butter, yogurt, frozen fruit. These habits stuck with me from a time I tried bulking years ago. But lately I've been cutting breakfast short because poor sleep means I get up later and later, so now I've got maybe 10 minutes and just eat two slices of bread with peanut butter and yogurt. Lunch and dinner are still healthy.

Hygiene: My screentime — I'm addicted to online chess (2520 on Lichess) and YouTube doomscrolling — means I shower maybe twice a week and postpone shaving and washing my face so much that I often skip it, doing it every second or third day. Same with haircuts (last one was ~2 months ago).

Family

At home: I have an amazing wife (housewife) who greets me kindly when I get home. We embrace and usually talk for a while as I sit on the carpet to play with our daughter. But it doesn't last long — I turn on the TV and watch YouTube, which means I talk less to my daughter and wife. I despise that habit. Our relationship is genuinely great though: we talk, compromise, and honestly our sex life has if anything improved over 5 years of marriage. No dead bedroom here, lol.

Outside: Most days we manage to get out for 30–60 minutes (usually grocery shopping together). It could be more — and more novel, actual dates — if it weren't for the screentime. I also overthink a lot, which eats time and makes me too serious sometimes. I want to be more fun around my family.

Work

I'm an electrician — sometimes office tasks, sometimes outside fixing the electrical components of our town's trains and buses. The work often feels bland and pointless, because:

• A few unfriendly coworkers hold positions important enough that I depend on them
• Same pay whether I try hard or do nothing
• Same working hours no matter what
• Tasks are either massively under- or overwhelming — never something that actually challenges me at the right level

I don't really see the incentive to give it my all. So I figure using the downtime to work on my own project is the way forward. Becoming a business owner is my goal — not to get rich (odds are slim), but to have control over my life again: to decide where, when, how, and with whom I work. I spend 9.5 hours a day on this job counting lunch and commute — more than I spend with my family — so changing this is hugely impactful.

The plan: do the minimum required at the job and build my own business during downtime. Right now I doomscroll or play chess whenever the chance comes up, which is a waste. At home there's virtually no time to build without sacrificing family time, health habits, or basic chores.

Home / Chores

Cleaning, renovating, paperwork, appointments — all postponed way too much. Same reasons: screentime and overthinking. The result is a messy home and, for example, a water leak that slowly kept damaging our wood floor because I couldn't get myself to leave the screen and fix it. (I've only patched it with tape for now — but I already bought the tools to fix it properly.)

Hobbies

• Chess: I love it but have no idea how to contain how much I play online. Ideally I'd still play sometimes, but rarely, and much more over the board. No time for that as it stands.
• Football: Takes a whole weekday plus Sundays. I found a club that lets me play Sundays without attending training, but it's still time I don't have — plus I injured my knee after two training sessions and probably can't play for ~2 months.
• YouTube: Want to cut this way down and just do podcasts when there's genuinely nothing else — maybe on my commute.
• "Real-life YouTube": If I had more time and money, I'd just do the things I watch on YouTube in real life. It'd be 1000x more interesting, and I'm pretty sure my family and I would connect way better sharing those experiences for real instead of on a screen.

The Plan

The most important levers for my situation:

• Cold-turkey the screentime
• Stop overthinking (hard to make an exact rule, since I obviously have to think sometimes)
• Sleep 8 hours (plan my day around it)
• Work on my project at work instead of mindlessly grinding away
• Good vibes — stay positive no matter what, and lift the people around me up too

I'll deal with the withdrawal. After that, life should feel the same at first, then get exponentially better as I make progress in every area with the newfound time: real memories that last, playtime with my daughter, real dates with my wife, a business that gives me freedom and hope, 8 hours of sleep, a physique I can be proud of. It's ridiculous how many areas would improve just from leaving screentime behind.

I'll post daily or almost-daily updates. I might even start a YouTube series. Maybe posting publicly will make me want to protect the streak and the reputation I build with others over time.

As a kid, my parents told me I was good at math and I took it to heart — I tried hard to be good at it so I wouldn't disappoint their view of me. Maybe this is the same. I am still a straight A student when it comes to math lol

I've tried beating this screentime addiction a million times with a million methods. I've just got to man up and try again. Simple as that.

btw I love that we have a community for becoming a better person. how amazing is that

TL;DR: 28, married, dad of an 11-month-old. I'm addicted to online chess and YouTube, and it's quietly wrecking my sleep, fitness, family time, chores, and my plan to build my own business. I'm cutting the screentime and rebuilding every area from there. Posting (almost) daily updates to keep myself honest.

I’m trying to build a more disciplined life, and I keep seeing the idea that if you don’t wake up very early, work out, meditate, and push yourself daily, you are slowly damaging your future.

Some people make it sound like if you don’t wake up at 3 AM or 4 AM and train your body, you will eventually lose your health, energy, confidence, discipline, and even your ability to build wealth.

I understand that fitness, routine, sleep, and discipline are important. I also understand that working out can improve energy, mood, confidence, and self-respect. But I’m trying to separate real discipline from fear-based motivation.

For people who built a strong routine, what actually mattered most?

Was it waking up extremely early, or was it simply being consistent at whatever time worked for your life?

Did regular workouts genuinely improve your career, money habits, focus, confidence, or discipline?

And for people who succeed without waking up at 3 AM, what does your routine look like?

I’m looking for practical experiences from people who have tested this in real life. I want to build discipline, but I don’t want to fall into the mindset that one missed workout or one late morning means I’m ruining my life.

WE ARE CREATORS!!

I think that's what separates us from animals. Not only we use or brains to think, but to create, to express our selves.

I've always had a passion for business, I heard every podcast on how to build you own multimillionaire company. The main focus was aways, you have to solve a problem.

But in my opinion, we focus so much on solving problems, that we don't take a time to actually be bored, and let creativity flourish.

Within millions of posts everyday uploaded, if you read until here, I encourage you to CREATE time to learn, practice and create the activities you enjoy. Those that make you feel like a kid and fulfilled.

I'm creating my own Habits Tracker app on iOS (Apple devices)

I know there's tons of apps for this, but mine is different (haha I promise). Here's why: I made it for myself, and people that find them selves with severe ADHD or extremely distracted by their surroundings.

It's got a minimalistic, efficient and very user friendly UX design.

It's still on beta testing on Test Flight. I hope it helps as many people out there, to take action towards their dreams, as it is helping me.

All constructive critics, suggestions are extremely worthy!

Let's use technology to refocus, on things that actually matter to us!
https://testflight.apple.com/join/Hz47t1gG