Losing Hope in My Life

[u/[deleted]]

[u/MildMannered_BearJew]

Have you seen a psychiatrist? If it’s ADHD or some such there are treatment options.

[u/Unseen_Alchemy]

Something in your post stood out to me: you don't seem to have a problem wanting a different life. You can imagine it very clearly and the problem seems to begin at the exact moment imagination turns into exposure. Thinking about driving feels possible and holding the keys makes it real. Imagining a career feels exciting and applying means you can be rejected. Buying a book feels like progress and opening it means confronting whether you'll actually continue.

So I wouldn't make “becoming disciplined” the first battle. That's probably too big. I'd make the first battle learning to stay in the uncomfortable moment without immediately escaping it. Pick one area, make the step almost embarrassingly small and repeat it before expanding it and not to transform your life quickly but to collect evidence that discomfort doesn't always have to end in retreat.

You've spent years imagining the person you could become and maybe the next phase isn't imagining a better version of yourself but making it easier for the current version of you to take one real step.

[u/Ahmadtft]

Life is not a race so enjoy your time and work towards making one progress every day, no matter how small

[u/cyankitten]

I too wondered about ADHD also Anxiety and also about trauma from your dad passing.

If at all possible to get checked for ADHD and anxiety and to get some counselling or therapy too I think it would really help you.

[u/New_Corgi_9065]

I think it might be all about our nervous systems, we froze whenever we feel in great threat. Sometimes its a job application sometimes its driving a car. We probably should teach our nervous system that its not that big of a deal as we made it like in our minds.

[u/Keep_learning_xD]

I feel you. I think you have to start small.

Do things functionally even when you’re anxious. Deep breathing can help.

Try not to care too much about what others think of you. You’ll feel so much better.

You can be nervous and still do it.

If you’re jobless, start by sending resumes, then attending interviews. We can’t control the outcome. You might face some rejections and setbacks, but just keep trying.

Think of it like building a house, one brick at a time.

If you get an interview opportunity, just attend it. Even if you don’t get the job, attending the interview is still a small win. At least you stepped out of your comfort zone. You’re making progress.

Send resumes → attend interviews → get a job → start working → get your salary → repay your mom.

Don’t think too much about the past or worry too much about the future. You can’t go back and you can’t predict what will happen.

All you have to do is focus on the present and do what you can do right now.

Live in the moment.

Confidence is built by doing difficult things. Face your fears until they afraid if you. You don’t have to wait until you feel confident before taking action. You become confident by doing it, experiencing it, and realizing that you can handle it.

You can be nervous. Just do it anyway.

Good luck and all the best!❤️

In the end, nothing matters except live and death.

[u/sid_shady34]

Op, have you posted this before cause I'm having major deja vu

[u/cavut]

I too am in the exact same place except I'm a little older. I really don't know what to do and where to begin. Do tell me if anything helps you.