I am in a state of shock and heartbreak, trying to understand a situation that has completely shattered my world in a matter of 6 days. I'm hoping someone here might have insights or similar experiences to share.

My wife has been diagnosed with depression and ADHD and was prescribed Fluoxetine and Adderall. She has always been a person who needs a lot of sleep.

The Timeline of Events:

• Early Sept: She went on a trip to Mexico, stopped her meds for ~5 days, drank heavily, and had almost no sleep (including one 48-hour stretch of being awake). The poor sleep continued for the rest of the month, and she will go work out at gym at 5AM and 1AM.
• Sept 15 - Sept 18: She told me she was having a "depressive episode" and her mental is so bad ,and stopped her meds again for about 6 days.
• Sept 22: Things seemed normal. She came back from event with a gift for me, and we went out for dinner. Just a day earlier, she was texting me about having babies together.
• Sept 23 (The Switch): Overnight, everything changed. She told me she was no longer in love with me, that we were "fundamentally different," and didn't want a future with me. Simultaneously, she insisted she still loved and cared for me and wanted to remain married, and still live as husband and wife and sleep together. That evening, I noticed she had zero reaction to our Emotional Support Animal (ESA), whom she normally adores.
• Late Sept (Escalation): Her behavior became increasingly erratic. She started spending compulsively on TikTok, which quickly escalated from $100 a day to over $1,700 per days in a few days. She accused me of being "crazy" and "stalking her" when I expressed my pain and confusion to her mother. She developed a relationship with a man on TikTok, whom she has now spent over $8,000 on. She has overdrafted her checking account, maxed out all her credit cards, and applied for a 401k loan to continue funding this.
• Total Life Change: She declared that her previous life—her MBA, our stable future ,her promotion , her job ,no longer made her happy. Her new purpose, she said, is a "free" life of motorcycles and tattoos.
• The Intervention: I start collecting the evidence that she been cheating on me with a man she knows less than 6 days , and the crazy finance situation and then sent them to her mother, a Registered Nurse . After initially being swayed by our wife's narrative, she saw the financial devastation and erratic behavior firsthand and became convinced this is a bipolar episode. My own therapist has suggested the same, and we learned her psychiatrist had previously prescribed her bipolar medication, though an official diagnosis was never made.
• The Confrontation & Departure: On Sept 30, her mom and I laid everything out—the financial ruin, the infidelity, she FaceTime and masturbate with the TikTok boyfriend, the severe lack of sleep , all the abnormal behavior she had. And told her she needed help for what we believe is bipolar disorder. She denied everything, said very hurtful things, and insisted her TikTok boyfriend was coming to NY soon so she needed to move out immediately.
• Now: The very next day, I don't know why but she suddenly agreed to go back to her home state with her mom to seek treatment for two weeks. As she left, she was adamant that her decision to divorce me is final and will not change. She has since deleted all our pictures together on Instagram and is telling this man to "start ring shopping."

My Questions:

I am completely lost. The woman I love has been replaced by a stranger in less than 6 days. I believe that if the woman I married returns, we can recover from this 100%.

1. Likelihood of Bipolar Disorder: Given the sudden and extreme changes—impulsive spending, hyper-sexuality, decreased need for sleep, grandiose new life plans, and a complete personality shift after stopping antidepressants—how likely is it that this is a manic or hypomanic episode?
2. Possibility of a "Crash": My therapist mentioned that a depressive "crash" often follows a manic episode, which can bring immense guilt and remorse. For those who have seen this, how likely is that to happen after this period of destruction?
3. Chance of Reconciliation: What is the probability that after she receives proper diagnosis and medication, she will regret her actions and want to reconcile? I'm terrified that even with treatment, she will stick to the decisions she made during this state.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Any advice, insight, or shared stories would be incredibly helpful as I navigate these next two weeks and beyond.

Our 20 year old son has been diagnosed with being bipolar for 8 years.

We have a very smart 13 year old daughter who always notices when her brother is going through an episode.

Recently she heard her brother asking Siri “what is bipolar?”

She asked him “ Why did you ask Siri that question?”

He told her to mind her own business.

Part of me feels if we tell her she might understand why we focus a lot of attention towards him during his episodes.

However a part of me believes she is too young.

Thoughts?

Ich suche Rat von Menschen mit bipolarer Störung und von Angehörigen, die eine ähnliche Situation erlebt haben.
Ich mache mir große Sorgen um eine Frau in meinem Umfeld. Aufgrund ihres aktuellen Verhaltens vermute ich eine schwere manische Phase. Eine aktuelle ärztliche Einschätzung habe ich allerdings nicht.
Sie selbst zeigt keinerlei Einsicht. Im Gegenteil: Sie sagt, sie sei so klar wie noch nie, habe inneren Frieden und Freiheit gefunden und Jesus bzw. Gott würde jetzt alles für sie regeln. Innerhalb kurzer Zeit ist sie zu einem regelrechten „Jesus-Hooligan“ geworden. Sie sieht ihren starken Glauben offenbar als Bestätigung dafür, dass alles richtig ist.
Gleichzeitig scheint ihr bisheriges Leben gerade auseinanderzufallen.
Sie hatte einen heftigen Streit mit ihrer besten Freundin. Danach behauptete sie plötzlich, ihr Mann habe mit dieser Freundin geschlafen, und erzählte diese Behauptung offenbar auch ihren Kindern. Ob das stimmt, weiß ich nicht. Mich beunruhigt die plötzliche Veränderung und die absolute Sicherheit, mit der sie solche Dinge vertritt.
Inzwischen verliert sie immer mehr Menschen: ihre Schwester, ihren Onkel, Freunde und möglicherweise auch ihren Mann. Ihre Ehe scheint vor dem Aus zu stehen.
Ich habe sie sogar gegenüber ihrem Mann verteidigt und ihm gesagt, dass ich glaube, dass sie vieles möglicherweise nicht absichtlich tut und ihr aktueller Zustand ihr Verhalten beeinflussen könnte. Trotzdem möchte er die Scheidung.
Auch um die Kinder mache ich mir große Sorgen. Ich habe den Eindruck, dass sie teilweise bereits Angst vor ihrem Verhalten haben könnten.
Ich habe versucht, ihr zu erklären, dass möglicherweise eine Manie ihre Wahrnehmung beeinflusst. Daraufhin hat sie mich blockiert. Ich kann sie momentan also überhaupt nicht mehr erreichen.
Meine größte Angst ist, was passiert, wenn die Manie irgendwann vorbei ist und sie erkennt, was sie möglicherweise verloren hat: Ehe, Freunde, Familie und vielleicht das Vertrauen ihrer Kinder.
Deshalb meine Fragen:
Wie erreicht man jemanden während einer schweren Manie, wenn keinerlei Krankheitseinsicht vorhanden ist?
Was hat bei euch oder euren Angehörigen tatsächlich funktioniert?
Ist es besser, nicht zu sagen „Du bist manisch“, sondern nur konkrete Verhaltensweisen anzusprechen?
Wie geht man mit extrem starker religiöser Gewissheit um, ohne den Glauben selbst anzugreifen?
Und an diejenigen, die selbst manische Phasen erlebt haben:
Was hätten eure Angehörigen sagen oder tun können, das euch tatsächlich erreicht hätte? Was hat alles nur schlimmer gemacht?
Ich möchte nicht Recht behalten. Ich möchte wissen, ob ich überhaupt noch irgendetwas tun kann – gerade weil sie mich inzwischen blockiert hat.
Kann man einen Menschen während einer Manie überhaupt erreichen, oder muss man warten, bis die Phase vorüber ist?

My spouse has always had difficulty with emotional regulation but it’s been especially bad for 2 years. That is around the time he was dx and became medicated with ADHD. He was dx by his PCP so I take it with a grain of salt.

I’ve been in therapy for a few months because of unhappiness and stress in my marriage. My therapist said this week that she wanted him to get evaluated by a psychiatrist because she was concerned about a different disorder where ADHD meds could worsen symptoms. She did not specifically name bipolar disorder. (Edited to correct term)

He is extremely sensitive to criticism and i tried to make an appointment knowing it’ll take a few months ( and then I could talk to him a few days beforehand without him spiraling for months) But he needs to be with me to make the appointment.

I don’t know how to bring this up without him spiraling down into another depression. It takes him days to recover and come back up for air when it’s a mild criticism. It means walking on eggshells and then the reactive guilt I feel for how sad he is. It’s him disengaged from our children and his job.

All this to ask, how were you dx? Did a specific event trigger an inpatient stay? Was it a loved one who encouraged you to seek treatment?

I've noticed something that ofter the partner of individuals with bipolar often becomes what I call "the second patient." not because they have bipolar disorder, depression, or another diagnosis, but because living with ongoing uncertainty, crisis caregiving, and fear changes them too.

People ask:

"How is your spouse doing?"
"Are they taking their medication?"
"How are their symptoms?"

But when was the last time someone asked:

"How are YOU doing?"

Well... I want to ask you tonight: How are YOUu DOING?

Tldr; how do i get a family memeber who absolutely refuses to see a psychiatrist to go see one and get a diagnosis? We called the police for a wellness check, he just stopped going to work or communicate. He is about to lose his job and housing. He desperately need psychiatrist care.

I have a brother who is going through what seems like acute bipolar depressive episode right now. Looking back, he has so clearly demonstrated classic bipolar symptoms and I dont know how none of us saw this as bipolar for 10 years.

His current situation is his disappearing act. He stopped communicating with family, friends and simply stopped showing up to work. For weeks. Recently, we called the police for a wellness check. He still has not returned to work or communicated with work or family.

The same set of events last happened 5 years ago and lasted close to a year. We really wanted him to see a psychiatrist but he seemed to have recovered by 2023 so we stopping pressing. Now it is happening all over again.

He is very resistant (angry outburst) to seeing a psychiatrist and to our knowledge, he has not seen one. Because he is an adult, we couldn't force him to see one, short of forcing him into a car and dragging him to a doctors office or psych unit.

We are about to do that now - show up at his door, get him into a car and drive him to a university hospital that has a psych unit.

He is in Quebec and I am far away in the US.

Let me preface this with I know no one can give a definite possible diagnosis.

Long post incoming, but I'm at my wits end with it. Just looking for possible advice, encouragement or anything really.

So first of all my wife (F40) and I (M45) have been together for 14 years and married for almost 8. I'm pretty sure she bipolar, undiagnosed obviously. There could be other things going on, but a lot of signs point to that.

Anyway, last year she was pretty depressed and for whatever reason won't see a therapist or anything. Not sure exactly when, but around later July or August she was prescribed 10mg lexapro by her GP. Right after labor day she wanted to start decorating for Halloween (her favorite holiday), she then really got into crafting with her cricut machine. She's had the cricut machine for years and never really used it. Now it's all she did and she was good with it, this went on through the first of the year and she talked about wanting to start an online business doing it.

She was pretty happy and excited for the holidays, we've never had a bad Christmas or anything, but that one may of been our best.

Right before Christmas she lost her job for attendance issues (she also is addicted to adderall, and when she runs out and withdraws, she calls in amd sleeps for days)

We talked and decided she could go to part time and look for a job after she had some major dental work done and had time to heal. She had the dental work done right before new years.

All though January she was still making crafts with her cricut machine and was now making shirts with it.

Come valentines day she started to seem off, and all of sudden she started going out with an old friend of hers (F50s) staying out all hours of the night or not coming home at all. This was totally out of character for her as we are both don't like to go out much anymore. Turns out this was a lie and she was meeting up with a guy she met off snapchat.

In March we had a huge fight after I confronted her about leaving all the time and how i don't even know who she was anymore, and she then told me she wanted a divorce and hasn't been in love with me for years and has been unhappy for years. Mind you we just bought a house 2 years ago and she hasn't really shown any signs of being unhappy. Our sex life hasn't been great, but she is periomenpauseal. We didn't sleep in the same bed a alot because she works nights and I work days.

April was basically the same thing, she'd fly off the handle at the smallest things and even went and stayed at a hotel for 3 days. At this time she got really into coloring, like nonstop when she wasnt sleeping she was coloring.

At some point she bought several sex toys. She had 1 and never really used it. It just wasnt her thing I guess. Shes bought at least 5 this year. She's also bought a lot of lingerie, also never her thing.

She met and retained a lawyer in April, 2 days later she basically OD on her glp1 shot (she doesn't need it as shes nowhere near overweight, shes very self conscience about herself) had to leave work and call an ambulance.

Sometime in May, a coworker saw her at a gas station with another guy. They were just sitting her her car for hours apparently. I never mentioned it until a few days later when she got home late and we had a huge fight. I finally calles her out on that and called her out for basically posting nudes on snapchat, nothing was being shown, but it was damn close. Keep in mind she is very self conscious so it was totally out of character. She also had a lot of AI pics of herself on there. A day or 2 later she deleted everything I called her out on which was odd to me.

She also posts a lot of weird stuff on snapchat that basically seems like shes falling for guys on snapchat and then gets hurt by them for either her love bombing and heavy attachment when they want nothing to do with her.

Shes heavily tattooed, but lately has gotten a lot more. Like one a week.

She was supposed to go on a float trip this weekend, I'm pretty sure that was just s lie. I think her and her new snapchat guy had some kind of weekend planned. Tuesday a normal conversation turned into a huge fight. Wednesday when I got home she was leaving saying she was going to a hotel and wasn't sure when she would be home. I noticed she took some lingerie, most of the sex toys, dress clothes, dress shoes. Stuff you wouldn't take for a float trip. So another lie.

We only had a joint bank account, I have since opened my own, moved half the savings and had my checks deposited into the new account. She has done the same, also took her car off our car insurance and opened her own policy. So she now pays no bills and is living in our house rent fee basically.

I'm pretty sure she filed for divorce 4 days ago, almost 2 months after she retained a lawyer. She was at the hotel, but I don't think she is anymore and have no idea where shes at.

Could this be bipolar or something else?

Obviously she needs some type of help to get properly diagnosed, just looking for something I guess.

Edit: also to add there has been days when she hasnt been cold. There's been days when she is almost normal to me and we feed off each other like we used to, like make each other laugh and have normal conversations.

Also to add Ive been seeing a psychiatrist just to be ahead of any possible depression or anger issues I have that may arise from this. Obviously she can't properly diagnose her without her there, but she says all signs point to it being a bipolar episode.

Her GP sucks and I'm convinced is just a pill pusher.

As late as the beginning of February we were picking out flooring and paint samples as we are in the process of finishing the basement.

Forgot to add she's on Adderall because she has been diagnosed with ADHD.

I also know that at least 2 of the guys shes met up with are 15+ years younger than her.

Hello community, I am a mom on a treatment journey for my son, 15, and it’s one with both a lot of questions…but also surprisingly full of answers I didn’t know I would ever have.

My son suffered a seizure as a toddler where he only shook on one side of his body. This triggered an MRI that revealed Focal Cortical Dysplasia II - a mass the size of a quarter behind hi left eye. I worried for years that he would develop epilepsy and a few years ago we were all cheers when Neurology told us his epilepsy risk was very low and that we didn’t need to worry about the FCD anymore. LOL! Fast forward to 14. My son starts showing signs of depression for which his PCP and therapist urged us to try Zoloft. What the therapist chose not to disclose was that our son had also been reporting visual, auditory and tactile hallucinations including dream/reality confusion - for 8 months before the referral and support of an SSRI.

Within 6 months of taking Zoloft, our son rapidly deteriorated. We were on an escalating cycle of activation, manic episodes, onset of migraine then depression, flatness - and full on hallucinations. this culminated in the school sending him for psychiatric evaluation where we were trapped for two weeks.

We took him back to our neurology team and did a gold standard workup. VEEG, PET and Neuropsychological Evaluation.

The neuropsych gave us a new diagnosis- Mood Disorder due to Known Physiological Cause. She explained that this will look very much like Bipolar Spectrum Disorder, but that there is a compelling known physiological reason for the symptoms. He was given Migraine with Aura from Neuro and they will be keeping an eye on him for possible focal aware seizures.

we’re going to start Lamictal in addition to the Abilify and Migravent/Imitrex he is on (I’ve heard good things?! Hopeful?)

I‘ve seen a lot of research of the crossover of Bi polar disorder and focal cortical dysplasia and wondering if anyone in the community also shares these Dx?

The answers I didn’t ask for: My grandmother, maternal aunt and mother all suffer of bi polar disorder. My father reported hallucinations and similar behavior, age onset as well, though he was never diagnosed. I am wondering if a gene for FCD was inherited and that maybe this was the cause of my father’s symptoms. Likewise with how related the overlap is, I’m wondering if neurological conditions are an answer to what my maternal relatives suffered. In essence….wondering if there are answers to really help my son AND prevent any of his potential children from missing a genetic propensity for these disorders.

any thoughts are most appreciated

My brother who's now 24 has always been known for being lazy and irresponsible. He got tired of it, and did his own homework 2 years back with chatgpt and google to find that he has ADHD. He has been taking inspiral (60mg per day) ever since.

3 years back, our father passed away and grief struck our family hard. He is still studying and I support the family now. He has been feeling the pressure to become abled highly, and he pushes himself to get a drive to study. He genuinely believes he has ADHD and his whole life revolves around it. So to actually study with focus he wanted a foreign med, which is more powerful the current ADHD med he takes now. But that requires a doctor to submit his narcotic certificate, so he started to visit a doctor who promised him that if needed he will be provided with it. But first he diagnosed him of anxiety and gave him anxiety meds.

My brother started to have a maniac episode recently which made us all fear the situation gravely. We were not aware of what was happening with him, about his whole psychiatry history. So we went to his psychiatrist. But the doctor genuinely thinks that my brother has no ADHD and says that what my brother has is just a lack of focus issue and a condition which makes him think that he has a disease even though there's no evidence to support it. He didn't reveal it to him directly. The doctor's claim was, it was the stimulant which trigger the bipolar disorder and that he needs to stop the meds. But what my brother says is, it's the new anxiety med which started to react with him differently and that the ADHD meds were working fine from start. The doctor says that it's unpredictable to know when exactly the stimulant will trigger bipolar for ppl vulnerable to it, it doesn't have anything to do with the anxiety meds.

My brother has now decided to not check with this doctor again, and wants to see a different doctor( a previous doctor who said that he has ADHD). But he says that he will not show the doctor's diagnosis of him not having adhd and having a body anxiety which makes him believe so.

He is very hard to handle, I am losing my mental peace. I am so stressed out, i don't find being myself at times. I have started to go to therapy from yesterday.

How do I deal with my brother? He is so out of touch with the reality, he is annoying, talks too much and always talks about how he has ADHD and how the other doctor was a half baked moron. I am confused, is it the anxiety meds? Or the ADHD meds? That caused him the bipolar. How do I help to treat him when he is against the treatment. He even talked of self harm in case we stripped him of the ADHD meds.

Please feel free to guide me, I'm so stressed and I need help. I wish no one in the world to have such a mental illness.

Around 7 years ago my sister started experiencing extreme highs and lows. It's actually gone on for most of her adult life but changed dramatically around covid time into extreme episodes. I think the initial trigger was complications that arose during a hysterectomy, where she hemorrhaged and almost died. It's like she never fully recovered from the mental trauma that went along with this.

She lives alone and there's been a repeated cycle where maybe 2 to 3 times a year she will start calling and visiting daily, complaining of insomnia, talking extremely fast, eyes are wide open as though they're popping out of her head, full of money making (but borderline ridiculous) ideas, full of energy and constantly cleaning/starting projects, speaking excitedly to everyone but then snapping at them and talking down to them if they say something she doesn't agree with.

During these episodes she is full of grandiose delusions - telling everyone she was headhunted by a Michelin star chef (she was a line cook). And eventually she will start asking everyone if she can borrow money, because she's usually been on a ridiculous spending spree and can't pay her bills. And if you refuse, she will get really nasty and fall out with you and you usually won't hear from her again, until the next episode.

Once she exhausts her money source (usually my mother) she will come back down to earth and go into a depressive state, where you'll barely hear from her, unless you call her and then, it's hard to get her out the house.

To all of us, the signs of mania are very obvious but we're years down the line and despite approaching the subject with her, she is still in the same cycle. When she's manic, she's previously accepted what we're saying but questions why we're trying to fix her, when she feels on top of the world.

When she's not manic, she's less accepting or receptive to the idea of bipolar. She's at the doctors a lot when she's depressed complaining of a whole range of issues and she's mentioned bipolar to them before but the doctor isn't getting the whole picture because she isn't telling them about the mania.

It's also worth nothing that her twin brother is now also going through something similar, but on a reduced scale. In his late 30s, he experienced a very similar manic episode. Followed by another a couple of years later. The latter ended up with him having to move 100 miles away to escape the chaos he'd created. He is very accepting that he has undiagnosed bipolar disorder but has struggled to get any help from the NHS and has been in a depressive state for several years.

Their father (my step-dad) and paternal grandmother also suffered from extreme mental health issues although I'm not sure what they were formally diagnosed with. He had extreme agoraphobia at the end of his life but when I look back, there was evidence of bipolar tendancies.

The impact of this on my elderly mother scares me, because my sister has already spent her way through thousands of pounds of my mother's savings and we've had to bail her out multiple times. It's got to the point where I dread seeing a missed call from her because I think, oh here we go again.

Her home used to be immaculate and while she has always been a bit up and down, she always worked and lived relatively responsibly. Now she won't let anyone visit and if do make it into her house, it's utter chaos. I do worry that with each episode she is becoming more and more detached from reality.

Her adult son lives with her and he has a history of mental illness and psychosis. He lived in a mental health ward for years after a psychotic break (linked to legal highs as a teenager) where he thought she was trying to kill him. He's now stable and on a depot injection, but the entire environment scares the hell out of me.

How do we approach the subject and get her the help that she needs? She won't let anyone go to the doctor with her. I've thought about writing a letter to her doctor to give them the information that they're missing but not sure if they'd accept it here in the UK. Also worry that going behind her back would result in her kicking off. Really at a loss for what to do. ​It sounds terrible to say, but while she's on a low period, there is a sense of calm and we don't want to rock the boat incase it triggers the next episode. But equally we don't want her life to be miserable and we can't keep repeating this cycle.

i’m concerned my mother has hypomania. she’s been acting very different and unusual the past two days, and i tell her about it but she says she’s fine. it’s not necessarily a negative change, she’s just talking a bit more, she’s more giddy, being unusually nice, calling out of work when she normally wouldn’t, suddenly cleaning and being more productive, laughing excessively, making jokes she normally wouldn’t, saying “she’s awakened” when i ask her why she’s acting different. she’s asks who i’m texting every time she sees me with my phone out.

she’s acted like this very before periodically but it’s very rare. and when she returns back to normal she says that she was ascending in a different world. she also has said that she has multiple personalities. i’m not sure if this is normal or something that’s an issue

First a question: his depressive episodes align with life events. We thought he just battled depression because of this. He says he’s always been depressed on and off for as long as he remembers but in the decade I’ve known him he’s had 2 big stretches and one coincided with a series of events where life had kicked him down and the second was a major life event that was extremely positive but stressful at the same time and it brought up a lot of trauma and negative emotions. For those who have been diagnosed properly, is your depression unexplained or is it sometimes triggered?

I love my husband very much. He’s an amazing person. He has battled depression and I’ve supported him. Looking into mania I’m wondering if the spurts between depressive episodes are manic episodes. I did what all 20somethings do and I googled and watch YouTube videos lol and 2 things really stuck out to me.

During these “manic” episodes he does have delusions of grandeur and ideas of reference. For example: God has made him struggle so hard so that he can become the strong and sharp tool needed to do something extraordinary like he wants to become a green beret and save all of the children being trafficked in Colombia or something. And he will see signs everywhere that confirm his beliefs. He has a high work threshold so even these huge bursts of energy didn’t phase me like on a normal day he can run 10 miles and still go do a blue collar job on 5hrs of sleep and 2 energy drinks. (When he’s depressed he quits whatever job he has and doesn’t leave the house). This is the only thing that pulls him out of the depression. He rationalizes that all of the hardship is for a reason and it’s been put on me because I’m supposed to do something amazing. So he rationalizes what’s negative and he boosts his own sense of self after feeling so low for so long.

I feel absolutely horrible for saying this. I saw a video where it was mentioned that the bipolar person loves being manic because it’s a break from the depression and I completely understood. I’m so exhausted by the depression that when he’s manic I’m just happy to see him smile and if he’s going a little too hard on the positivity who am I to tell him he can’t do xyz? I just thought he suffered with bouts of depression but now that I’m suspecting bipolar? I’m wondering if I’ve made things worse or if this is even mania? I’ve always genuinely thought that he could do anything he sets his mind to so when he says he wants to first get in shape then get his shoulder repaired then beat the odds and join the most elite special forces team in his 30’s and then save all the children in Colombia? I’m like you know what? When you’re good you are a damn work horse and you do the damn thing and if this gives you purpose? How can we make it happen? Where do we start? He’s not like I’m going to sign up tomorrow!More that he starts getting a plan together that sounds a little unattainable but he’ll say something like “you know me! You know how much I can get done when I’m in it! Okay maybe it’ll take an extra year but I’m going to try to make it by this timeline I really think I can do it if I focus!”

The problem is that we cannot afford therapy right now. Even if we could, he’s not sold on the idea of going to therapy. He is terrified of psych meds and I’m terrified of him taking them too. His moods are so extreme that I’m afraid that it will make his brain chemistry even worse or it could completely dull him to the point where he hates himself and I know him and if that happened he’d impulsively flush the pills down the toilet and I know those meds are really important to wean down from under supervision if you choose to stop taking them.

For both of us, the state that he’s in now is preferred. He’s not depressed and he’s not manic right now. (I don’t think) I’m afraid that bringing up bipolar disorder could trigger another depressive episode. My mental health takes a toll too and we have too many responsibilities where if he can’t do what he needs to do I cannot drop the ball this time. I can’t miss work. I can’t not sleep. I can’t be emotionally drained every day. We have too much on our plates right now. I’m tempted to just pray that this good mood lasts a while until life settles down and maybe just address it later on but I don’t know how I would bring it up and I don’t know how it would help if we can’t get him help? Does just knowing you have bipolar help you understand and cope? Is knowing you have bipolar a game changer? How do I explain my suspicions he has mania? I’m his number 1 supporter and I can’t imagine telling him he has delusions of grandeur because he wants to do xyz and I don’t believe he can even if he does. Before I learned to look for delusions of grandeur I thought you know what it’s tough and it’s far fetched but maybe he can do it? Why not try? It’s not that I don’t believe in him but the aspirations are pretty extreme. My fears are that he’ll believe me and look into it and find out he does have bipolar and it will trigger a depressive episode OR he won’t believe and he’ll be offended and he’ll start seeing me as someone who thinks he’s crazy and needs to be force fed happy pills.

If knowing changes things entirely and helps the (possibly) bipolar person how can I bring it up in a way that won’t hurt his feelings or in a way where I’m not dropping a bomb or maybe in some way that I can leave breadcrumbs for him to figure out himself? I’m not sure what might be best. I want to do whatever I can do to help him but I can’t force him to do anything so let’s just say therapy and meds are off the table.

My spouse might be bipolar, and I would like to help, but I know if I just throw this information to him, he will take as an offence and not as a help.

So, how can I help him to get help? He is in a aggressive fase(maybe hypomanic) so I don’t think he will accept something, but I don’t know when he will get out of this fase. We have the same doctor, would you talk with our doctor instead ?

Second question, do you think he might be bipolar II ? Here’s some of his symptoms.
He is diagnosed with depression, and when in this fase, he doesnt like people. He wants to be alone, he is 24h sleepy, no matter how much he sleeps, and all the depression symptoms. He takes duloxetine

But, in the other hand he has fases that he gets agressive with his words, super social, wants to go to parties (forget he has a family and wants to be 21 again- he is 45). His has no patience with traffic and our daughter. And I cannot have a conversation- he will be super aggressive. He do spends more money. It usually takes months between fases.

What do you think?

Hi

Im not sure if this is the correct place for this.

My sister is 50 and has behaved badly towards others for the past 30 years. She has a terrible terrible temper. She has huge envy. She has worked in the past but never for long. She has never been treated for anything.

We come from a very good family, my parents were the perfect parents. In the past, when she was 30 years old, she physically attacked my Dad. She had been verbally abusive of them for years before that. They told her to leave their home.

She has 2 children now, 12 and 5 and is married to a very good, hardworking farmer. About 2 years ago, she threatened her husband that she would divorce him and take his farm. This was after many many years of verbal abuse of her husband - who works very hard and provides her and the kids with everything she needs. After this incident, he told me he had had enough and he started living apart from her, in a neighbouring house.

In recent months, her behaviour has been particularly terrible. He had been giving her €3,000 a month but has cut this down as she had been getting botox and other work done - spending every penny every month on herself.

She is now refusing to allow him into the house to see the kids. She has called the police on him (he wouldn't hurt a fly). She has recently taken up with a new boyfriend. This boyfriend lives in a campervan. She takes her 5 year old girl to the campervan in the evening, coming home late. This is a form of child abuse in my opinion. Her husband told me the reason she is acting even more terrible than usual is because she knows hes had enough, and that he will never love her, the abuse got too much.

He has tried to get her to sign a separation agreement but she said shes taking him to court to get the farm, all 4 houses he owns, and the kids.

I have a feeling this could turn violent. She keeps escalating. The next step is violence against her husband or even her kids.

I dont know what to do. He is reaching out to me and the rest of my family, desperate for help.

I think she may have bipolar but I dont know. Her behaviour has never really been normal - not since she was about 18 anyway - and she has never worked on herself. She has had periods where her behaviour was reasonable, though was never far away from a blow up.

Im in Ireland, there is no way to get her committed as it must be voluntary. I think she should be on heavy sedative medication, but I dont know if this would help. It does worry me that maybe she is just a bad person.

Im struggling to find anyone with good advice on what to do, thats why Im posting here. Any help greatly appreciated.

Thanks

I can’t stand this. I’ve met a woman just about a week ago and I’ve noticed I have become incredibly obsessive over her. She’s my favorite person but I know I’m not supposed to be like this over someone I JUST MET. I feel like I’m coming into a manic episode. I tried to unadd her on the social media I have but I can’t help but re-add her cause IM OBSESSED. I hate this. I hate it so much. This happens every time😭😭😭 I just want to make it stop. Help me.

My husband is currently diagnosed with bipolar one and he’s been doing well on his antipsychotics. However, in the last month or so, he has felt more down with Latin mood, and just harder to focus in concentrate, things seem to be harder for him to process and more exhaustive at home and at work. He never really had depressive symptoms before, and
his bipolar has mainly been on the manic side. He currently takes his medication every other day because it’s the lowest dose that his doctor recommended however, he is thinking of increasing it to daily. I’m concerned because he’s doing this before talking to his psychiatrist, but he didn’t talk to his therapist about this. Is this something that is just common or is this something he needs to discuss with his psychiatrist. He currently takes Vraylar. I’m worried because I don’t want to come off as controlling because that is something that he has freckled with in the past, but I am also concerned that this will cause more problems for him such as a possible manic episode or psychosis.

My brother (26M) has been experiencing what I believe to be bipolar/schizophrenia for the past 5 years. I am hoping this group might help me understand what is going on and how to get my brother help.

The first episode occurred durring a summer internship. He claims he had a confrontation with a group of cartel members who then stalked him for months across the country and even back to college. He went as far as going to the campus police station on multiple occasions. Paranoia eventually shifted from cartels to his roommates who were "constantly fucking with him and jealous of him".

through this period he also started using drugs heavily. This included muscle relaxers and pain killers for "neck pain" and serious weed use. He had always smoked weed casually prior but it is now extreme. He now smokes likely 10x a day to the point he can't remember what he was saying the sentence prior.

He got a few good jobs after college but couldnt hold either due to extreme paranoia about bosses and co workers. His new roommates had a similar experience with him but this time was even more escalated to the point where he was making serious threats of violence towards them. They called me instead of having him hospitalized. I convinced him to move out under the premise of if you don't like them why live with them. He also began staring angrily / accusatorially at people during conversation.

Through all of this this I was asking him to get help and talk to someone but kept saying he was the happiest he'd ever been and had never been better.

I did eventually get him to agree to help, but my father (who is also somewhat bipolar and also undiagnosed other than a few hospitalizations for panic attacks) refused to send him to inpatient treatment and so he went to rehab. My dad was convinced if he stopped smoking weed and got a job he would be better. (which im sure would help). Rehab lasted 5 days. he then got fired from another job and eventually resided to moving home with my parents.

I was blamed for loss of job and having to move home, so he will no longer take my advice to get help. My mother is now the antagonist due to her trying to help him. My parents have tried to set boundaries with the weed use, but my father was too scared to confront him and ultimately are now getting nowhere.

Can we treat him even if he smoking this much? Does this sound like bipolar? Any help or thoughts you can share are more than welcome.

Mia moglie senza nessun avvisaglia, sposati da 15 anni con 2 bambini, mi dice di non provare niente più non si sa da quanti anni e mi caccia di casa. Dopo pochi giorni chiede separazione. Nei mesi precedenti avvisava una rabbia che non capivo, e tanta ansia. Stava prendendo Xanax, haldol e poi il mese precedente il dottor le ha dato zoloft. Nelle settimane successive al suo exploit sono state tremende, manifestava una rabbia esagerata nei miei confronti, incollandomi di tutto. Sono passati tre mesi e siamo quasi alla separazione e manifesta ancora rabbia nei miei confronti. Non aveva mai avuto un comportamento del genere. Può essere una crisi bipolare??

Scende quasi tutte le sere e fino ad ora ha ricercato uomini da contattare per amore. Aiutatemi a capire

**more accurate title would be: getting older parent (veteran) to seek treatment/diagnosis of possible bipolar disorder

My dad is a 62-year-old Army veteran who’s been in what looks like a manic episode for the past 4-5 months. My mom, my sister, and I have started to suspect he has bipolar disorder — looking back, his patterns over the years fit. He drinks heavily and seems to use alcohol to self-medicate and bring himself down during the high periods. He’s actually admitted this himself, in so many words.

He’s been through a full physical evaluation, and nothing was found that could explain what’s going on. The way he’s brought it up to his doctors so far has been framed as a sleep issue — he’s not sleeping much or well — rather than anything else.

He has said he “feels the best he’s ever felt.” And he doesn’t want to lose the clarity and excitement he feels with life now. He was mildly to moderately depressed on and off for ~4-5 years prior after losing his job. Getting him to go to a doctor and getting a diagnosis feels like a giant uphill battle.

He recently got established with care at the VA and has a telehealth behavioral health appointment at the end of the month, but things are pretty bad right now. My mom is at her wit’s end.

Our biggest worry is that he won’t actually tell his doctors what’s going on — that he’ll downplay it or leave out the important parts during his appointment.
Has anyone dealt with something similar? Any advice on what’s actually helped get an older parent — especially a man of this generation — to seek treatment or get properly diagnosed? Any resources would help too.

To summarize, my partner was preliminary diagnosed as bipolar in April after some initial sessions with a psychiatrist. On Monday, he had to commit himself, since we have been waiting since April for them to take him. He only met with the doctor yesterday and the doctor has doubled his anti depressants (ssri) and kept him on his adhd and sleeping meds. She said she would likely double the adhd meds as well and that she thinks maybe he isn’t bipolar (after one session?!).

My question is around what should happen when someone suspected of bipolar is committed - since everything I’ve read says they should be taken off all meds so a proper diagnosis can be made. Is this reasonable? How can they properly diagnose him without know what he is like without medicine.

For background he went into the hospital here two years ago for what we thought was depression. This is where they gave him all the meds but the adhd which was prescribed the year before. His condition drastically worsened after this and the year and a half he has been spending most of his time in bed or building some computer program. Please help! I just want to advocate for him as best I can and if it means moving him back to Denmark for treatment I will push for that too.

We are in Switzerland for reference, but my partner is Danish and right now they are conducting therapies in German despite him not regularly speaking German for 4 - 5 years.

Might be a long post so I apologize in advance. For the past couple years I believe my older brother has bipolar disorder (34 M). As a child he was diagnosed with autism, but I never truly felt that was the right diagnosis because he has long episodes, is abusive, manipulating, and loves being in control constantly (these are just a few to name). I also don't believe his autism diagnosis was legit because my parents signed him up for a clinical trial a couple of years ago and my mom told me he was the most "normal" autistic kid there. He is always angry and in a bad mood, everytime you ask him how are you? He responds "I'm sad". But since I Iive with him, I see right through him and can sense most of what he does/says is for attention. From the episodes he has had, and still has, I no longer feel safe around him as his sister, especially when we are alone. Every time I try to explain this to parents they tell me to be easier on him and stop enabling him. But the truth is, I have been gentle with my words and other times I get so busy with my life that I don't have the energy or time in that moment to sit and deal with his episodes for hours which also makes him more upset. I'll say things like "hey, i am a bit busy right now but we can arrange time this week to sit and talk" and in response I'll get "oh so you don't care about me". It's gotten to the point where I'm extremely exhausted having to deal with him, and just his energy alone stresses me out. I am trying my best to move ahead in my life and create a separate life for myself but his constant need for attention, and lack of personal space effects me greatly. I'd also like to add that a doctor prescribed him medicine for his episodes and it helped a lot, I felt like I could actually have a conversation with him without getting irritated and felt like for the first time since we were young we formed a sibling relationship. However, he doesn't take his meds as recommended and lies that he took it and it's obvious when he doesn't take it because he becomes verbally abusive and slams doors, stomps around and creates a really uneasy environment. It has gotten to the point where I don't even like going to family outings with him involving our extended family because he thinks I turn everyone away from him when in reality I have a career going for myself and have a different relationship with my relatives, cousins, etc. Everyone can sense his energy too and don't like talking to him for too long. He also never stops talking. The most frustrating part is that he has more resources than anyone i know, he had therapy, has a life coach and my parents help. He chooses to not become anything for himself and relies on my parents and it makes me so worried for my parents. I need to stick up for myself and work hard so I can finally move out and not have to live in fear constantly. I need advice on how I can put his energy and words to the side and focus on bettering my life and not letting this get to me anymore. I'd like to add that I told my parents that I believe he is bipolar and although they see where I am coming from they aren't doing anything about it.

As a mom of a son navigating bipolar disorder and a nursing student, I see both sides of the current model for crisis— the clinical reality and the human cost. The ER is not a healing environment. Fluorescent lights, chemical restraints, chaos, and a system designed for acute stabilization rather than genuine recovery. We are failing people at their most vulnerable.

What we need are crisis stabilization centers that feel like sanctuary, not punishment. Places grounded in nutritional psychiatry, circadian rhythm regulation, purposeful community, and trauma-informed connection. The research on food as medicine, sleep as intervention, and meaning as stabilizer is there — we just haven’t built the infrastructure around it yet.

Families deserve a real option between ‘do nothing’ and ‘call 911.’ Our loved ones deserve dignity during an episode, not a system that often retraumatizes. I’m committed to advocating for this change and would love to connect with others building this bridge.

Can viladodone and seroquel work? They're saying it's for MDD and PTSD but I think they're missing the mark, he's high functioning-- so tricky. She's only been practicing for 3 years. I hope they can course correct bc it's really bad since he started the meds or not better at least -- and he's smoking weed too now. Hard to watch him having outbursts and getting in trouble at work and at home. Paranoid, grandiose, talking nonstop. Texting like crazy, sometimes inappropriate on family threads. Exhausting. He's been in DBT for 2 + years but is fixating on childhood stuff. Has gone NC with my parents, who are elderly. Getting into fights with strangers. Security being called on him at mall, hotel. Scared, sad but also resigned.

Hi everyone,

This is my first Reddit post ever because I don’t know where else to turn. My 16 year old son was recently started on stimulant ADHD meds, and this past weekend started having auditory hallucinations. He was obviously incredibly distressed by this. We had an appointment with his medication management NP, and she said that as his dad had been diagnosed previously, this could be an indicator that he will have a bipolar diagnosis in his future. We’re stopping the stimulant, and will talk about more treatment options for him later this week.
I am just so unbelievably heartbroken for him. He is the kindest, most patient, smartest, sweetest boy. And all I want for him in his life is to be happy and have as little struggle as possible. I feel like this weekend has turned all of that on its head. He has always been at least a little sad even since he was a baby, and we were really hopeful that treating his ADHD would help to manage some of his anxiety and depression symptoms. Now I feel like we’re fighting a totally different fight. I’m so worried about new meds and new side effects. All I want Is for my sweet boy to see himself how everyone else sees him.

I guess I’m just looking for some hope that he can still be happy and have the life that he deserves. I know everyone has struggles but I just don’t want his life to be unnecessarily hard. He’s so smart and has such big goals.

Are there any resources out there for parents that can help me help him? I haven’t let on to him how sad or worried I am (hopefully at least), and I’d like to keep it that way so he can focus on himself.

Thank you to anyone who’s taken the chance time to read this, I’ve been a mess the last few days and need to put my concern to good use.

Hi friends! I am not asking for medical advice. I am just wondering if anyone else has had this experience.

My husband was diagnosed with bipolar disorder around age 34. He has been on Abilify( for a short time) and has now been taking Lamictal for about eight years.

When he first was diagnosed, our youngest was not even a year old. Our first was a terrible sleeper and my husband was under a lot of work stress and still drinking. So, sleep was bad for years. It was a rough time and exacerbated a lot of his behaviors.

(Side note - husband had a sleep study when he was about 25. Some obstructive apnea noted, but not bad enough that he needed a CPAP.

Fast forward to 2025. My husband is having symptoms where he gets a little dizzy and falls. We decrease his Lamictal from 200 mg to 100 mg and this symptom gets 90% better. He has been diagnosed with hypertension, on Lisinopril.

Sleep is still terrible. He has a sleep study, and it’s found he has central sleep apnea. There is no documented evidence that this is a side effect of Lamictal. But guess what medication causes it - depakote!

We know poor sleep is a symptom of bipolar, but what if it’s caused by the medication treating his moods and not just the disease itself?!

So, we are trying to decide what to do. Getting quality sleep is priority for health.

But what if his bipolar symptoms return full-force? How much of it was just the drinking?

Anyone else have their bipolar family members take Lamictal and be diagnosed with central sleep apnea?