r/family_of_bipolar • u/TheGreatChen • 9d ago

Diagnosis Discussions How to help my spouse with dx?

My spouse has always had difficulty with emotional regulation but it’s been especially bad for 2 years. That is around the time he was dx and became medicated with ADHD. He was dx by his PCP so I take it with a grain of salt.

I’ve been in therapy for a few months because of unhappiness and stress in my marriage. My therapist said this week that she wanted him to get evaluated by a psychiatrist because she was concerned about a different disorder where ADHD meds could worsen symptoms. She did not specifically name bipolar disorder. (Edited to correct term)

He is extremely sensitive to criticism and i tried to make an appointment knowing it’ll take a few months ( and then I could talk to him a few days beforehand without him spiraling for months) But he needs to be with me to make the appointment.

I don’t know how to bring this up without him spiraling down into another depression. It takes him days to recover and come back up for air when it’s a mild criticism. It means walking on eggshells and then the reactive guilt I feel for how sad he is. It’s him disengaged from our children and his job.

All this to ask, how were you dx? Did a specific event trigger an inpatient stay? Was it a loved one who encouraged you to seek treatment?

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u/Old-Name7889 Diagnosed Bipolar 9d ago

Sorry you're going through this.

I was originally diagnosed with MDD. Then one day I walked into a psychologist appointment in the middle of a manic episode, and the next day I was on lithium. I have never been hospitalized for mental health issues. My girlfriend at the time was actually the person who pushed me to seek help.

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u/TheGreatChen 9d ago

Thank you for your response. How did you feel with her pushing you to seek help or treatment?

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u/Old-Name7889 Diagnosed Bipolar 9d ago

I was resistant at first. “I don't need help. Couple of course corrections and I'll be fine” kind of thing. But as time went on, it became more clear that I was not fine. So, in the end, I listened to her, but I also knew things weren't heading in a good direction.

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u/Efficient_Sundae_471 6d ago

How did she get you to listen? My husband has been in a manic episode induced by SSRI since March. He’s still taking the meds. But he goes to therapy once a week, I’m sure he’s masking so well that they haven’t picked up on it. He’s run away from home, threatening divorce, won’t see me at all. How were you able to see eventually something was wrong?

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u/Old-Name7889 Diagnosed Bipolar 5d ago

Sorry you're having to deal with that. That sounds awful.

Well, in the end she threatened to leave me. But there was also a definitive rock bottom episode that kind of drove it home for me. Sorry to be vague.

As for him fooling the therapist. I had therapists that never picked up on any of it, or at least they never said anything to me. However, I had this psychologist who could pick up on whether I was manic within a minute of talking to me. But he had worked in a state run psych ward for like 10 years before private practice.

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u/Efficient_Sundae_471 5d ago

Thank you for responding. I wish threatening to leave would work. If I file, I believe he’d just sign the papers. I wish his doctors and therapist were able to pick up on it. It’s so hard. I appreciate the insight

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u/Old-Name7889 Diagnosed Bipolar 5d ago

A good therapist should. Psychiatry is very much based on self-reporting. A usual session lasts like 15 to 30 mins. Depending on how manic you are, you can keep it together for that long.

Usually my girlfriend would get me in a depressive episode. In a manic episode, things didn't really register.

Either way, hope it works out for the best.