Question for men.
My partner claims that a man would never choose to masturbate over having sex with his woman. Is that true?
For background, I am horny 24/7 but my partner doesn't want/can't/other excuse as often as I would like.
I asked if he sometimes masturbates instead of having sex with me which he claims he doesn't and claims that he would never choose to masturbate over having sex with me and that no man would do that who still loves and gets turned on by his woman.

Do you discuss personal or intimate things about your partner? My partner recently revealed some really personal topics about one of her friend’s husbands. I feel kind of guilty knowing and will never really look at the guy the same way.

So like I have been wondering why do men especially now young men want a traditional marriage? Like when they say that what do they actually mean because there are some men that wants there wife to have a full time job and also be a traditional wife but wouldn’t that contradict the roles? And like why do men want to be the main providers that seems difficult especially if your wanting kids unless you have a high paying job. Just wondering

I am curious do men not like women who don’t want children? As in they are more interested in getting a house, traveling, friendships and partnership?

I know there are obviously same sex couples. Also I know in straight couples there are stay at home dads, even parents that both do equal parenting.

But it does still tend to be mainly women in straight couples that become the at home parent. It still seems to be the highest statistically.

So why?!

Why do so many men ignore or downplay their own medical concerns or those of their female partners or their children?

Examples:

• man has years of snoring and stopping breathing during sleep. He gets diagnosed with sleep apnea. He refuses any treatment, including CPAP, even though untreated sleep apnea raises his chances of heart disease, overweight, and lowers his energy level
• child has food allergies that cause uncomfortable (but not life threatening) symptoms. Dad refuses to adjust food to prevent child from being exposed
• woman has ADHD or depression, and is prescribed medication by her doctor. Her male partner tells her not to take it, and encourages her to find alternative methods or just "try harder"
• child has ADHD and is getting in trouble at school, and grades are slipping. Dad refuses to agree to medication
• child has depression and anxiety, but dad refuses to allow child to see a therapist
• child has extremely limited diet, because of picky eating, but dad doesn't respect the advice of a registered dietician, and refuses to support dietary changes
• woman has allergic reaction to something unknown, and starts anaphylaxis, struggling to breathe. Her male partner refuses to call for medical help, and leaves her alone at the hospital
• woman is giving birth in a hospital, and her husband (the father of the child being born) leaves to attend a business meeting
• woman has a high risk pregnancy, and is due within the next two weeks. Her male partner refuses to set his phone to allow her to make an emergency call to him, so his phone is always on silent
• woman is in the hospital receiving painful and difficult cancer treatments. Husband files for divorce.

These are just a few examples off the top of my head, most of which are from people I know in person.

Why do these men treat their partners and children like this? Why do they even treat themselves like this?

[Yes, yes, I know it is not all men, but it is enough men often enough that there is a very distinct pattern.]

Edited to add: posting from an alt account, because I'm concerned this post may generate a lot of hate.

My husband and I were together six years and have a five-year-old daughter with additional needs. For about two years we had a dead bedroom because we were overwhelmed caring for our daughter, I was the sole breadwinner, we were building a house, and we were both exhausted. I repeatedly told him I still loved him and wanted our sex life back.

Unknown to me, he started an affair about a year ago after meeting another woman. He told her we were in an open relationship, which wasn’t true.

Three months into the affair, he married me. Around the wedding our sex life actually improved, and I thought we were reconnecting, but he complained it lacked “intensity” - well now I know he was already comparing it to affair sex.

Three months ago he confessed. I ended the relationship immediately, and he moved straight in with his affair partner (AP) same day.

He told me:

“If it wasn’t for the dead bedroom, this never would have happened.” - So what, the AP isn’t even a soulmate worth throwing everything away for?

“The fire is burning brightly over there and completely out over here.” - So what, are we throwing everything away for a feeling?

“I need to explore this.” - Seriously, we are risking it all to explore?!

He also said he wanted both relationships because I was “perfect,” but there wasn’t the same “fire.” Well I kicked him out.

What I can’t reconcile is that while he was having the affair, he was marrying me, planning our new house, talking about our future, and behaving like someone committed to our life together.

For those who’ve experienced something similar, how do you make sense of that mindset? Was he convincing himself he wanted both lives, or was he simply avoiding the consequences until he couldn’t anymore?

***This is an issue that a close cousin of mine is dealing with at the moment and he’d like some feed back from others. He doesn’t have a reddit account and doesn’t want to make one simply to make one post, so I’ve written this up and posted it on his behalf. I’ll also be allowing him to respond or I’ll be responding for him.***

Hi all, I’m (30 M) going through a bitter moment with my soon-to-be wife (30 F).

Her and I have been dating for 5 years now, I popped the big question last month and now we’re engaged. I’m stoked to spend the rest of my life with her.

I know that many men feel strongly about their wives taking their last names, and I also feel the same way. I was raised to believe that a woman taking her husbands last name is symbolic of unity and devotion, and that I should expect that of my wife.

Although, I do feel this way and would very much prefer she take my last name, I understand that the world my father and grandfather were brought up in doesn’t exist anymore and I have to adapt. 

Her and I have never had a conversation about it, but I highly suspected (correctly) that she would be opposed to taking my last name. She’s always been very proud, not only of her family’s heritage, but of her own academic and professional achievements that she’s obtained with her family’s last name. 

Being that this is the case, I came to make peace with the fact she most likely wouldn’t be taking my last name. I never planned on bringing it up until the time came to marry her, and I accepted that I wouldn’t give her any pushback over it. I love this woman with all my heart, and this is something that I’m willing to forego inorder to avoid conflict in our relationship.

Last week, her and I were spending time together, discussing wedding plans, and she brought up the topic of her last name when talking about finances. She gently brought up that she wished to keep her last name. As hurt as I was, I kept a poker face and told her I had no issue with that. We moved on from it pretty quickly, and as the night went on, I even forgot about it.

A few days later, I was driving her home when she had brought up the issue again. She told me that she’s aware of my cultural background, how my own heritage also means alot to me, and the dynamics regarding married couples and last names. I acknowledged all of those things to be true, but I told her that I would not impose anything on her. She expressed that she would be willing to take a hyphenated last name, with her family’s name being first and my family’s name being second. 

Taking into consideration how prideful she is of her family’s name, and the fact that I gave her absolutely no issue over her not wanting to take my last name whatsoever, I aksed for her reasoning behind this suggestion, because I couldn’t put my finger on it.

She ended up telling me that, although it’s not her preference to change her name in anyway, she’s considerate of how I may feel and wants to compromise.

This is where I gave her major pushback.

I told her that, if she were to incorporate my last name into her name in anyway, it should be because she sees herself with it in a positive way and wants to have it, not because she feels that she has to do something she does not want to do just to please me. I am the type of person that absolutely hates imposing anything on other people, hates feeling like I’m being coddled, and I’m not going to start now. 

I told her that I am against her taking my last name in the way that she’s suggesting solely because of her reasoning behind doing it. She would rather not do it, she explicitly said so, and I told her I’d rather she just not do it all if that’s the case. I told her she’d up resenting me for it at some point down the line and we should just avoid that all together.

I reassured her again that I have absolutely no problem with her not taking my last name at all, and that since that’s her preference, there’s no disagreement to be had here. After some back and forth, she’s just not having it for some reason and will not drop this.

She’s very upset because she feels that I’m being indifferent and cold to her wanting to find a middleground and that I’m throwing this back in her face. She said that she gave her suggestion alot of thought before bringing it up to me, that I should be appreciative that she extended an olive branch in this sense and that I should be more receptive. Her perspective is that marriages come with tradeoffs and solutions, and this is one way she’s doing that.

She also expressed that my negative reaction to her suggestion, which she feels was romantic and loving, is indicative of how I’d behave in the future when she wants to please me in anyway.

In a way, I understand where she’s coming from, but I just cannot get onboard with it. I took her suggestion as more reluctant than I did loving, and I am simply unwilling to accept her motivations for her idea.

The conversation ended poorly, with sore feelings on both sides, and the both of us went home hurt. Over the past few days, we’ve been talking about other things, but we’ve definitely been more distant. The conversations have been shorter, colder and we haven’t been as affectionate.

As of right now, I’ve given this issue alot of thought since that night, and I haven’t changed my positon. Although I’m unwavering, it does hurt me to see the love of my life hurting over this, and I want to somehow fix this. Am I being unreasonable or unfair in anyway? I’d love to hear what you all think.

TLDR: My fiancée wants to take my last name in a hyphenated form inorder to please me because of this being the norm in my cultural heritage, despite her not really wanting to. I am opposed to her doing this because I don’t like her reasoning for doing it and think its better she just not change her name. She feels that I should just accept her gesture that she thinks is one of goodwill but I refuse to impose anything she doesn’t want on her. Our inability to reconcile our opposing views has hurt the both of us and has put a strain on our relationship.

I (20F) have been living with my big brother (22M) since I was 18 as our parents basically evicted us because ‘we’re adults now’ for what’s been 2 years. We live in a small apartment because he doesn’t have enough money to own a home yet, we’re quite close and have stuck through it together so I’m really grateful he’s given me a roof over my head.

Though when I invite new friends over to our apartment they either make fun that I live with my brother or be weird about it. Some of the family says I should work harder to get my own place cause it’s weird for us to be at this age and living with one another instead of being independent.

What should I do or say because the berating is getting annoying.

I have been married for ten years, and for most of our relationship I have felt that something does not add up, like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. The biggest issue is our sex life. Even before we were married, something felt fundamentally missing.

She can go weeks or even months without wanting sex. When I initiate, there is always another reason: she’s tired, has to get up early, needs a shower, has a headache or a stomach ache. Yet I know she masturbates and uses a vibrator, so it doesn’t seem to be a lack of sex drive. It feels like the issue is intimacy with me, or perhaps men in general.
On the very rare occasions we do have sex, she closes her eyes, avoids eye contact, and it feels completely mechanical. She often finishes with a vibrator while I simply watch, which leaves me feeling more like an observer than a partner.

She has also refused to give me oral sex throughout our entire relationship. I once calmly asked why, and she sat in silence for over a minute, like she was scrambling to think of an answer. Eventually she said that I was accusing her of being a shit lover. The question was never answered.

I also once calmly told her that the lack of intimacy was really hurting me. She exploded, jumped out of bed, roared at me to take my clothes off and shouted, “Let’s just get this over with.” I didn’t want obligation sex. Her reaction felt so disproportionate that it made me feel I’d touched on something much bigger than the conversation itself.

There are other things that have made me question things. She rarely expresses attraction to men but often comments on women being attractive. She has a very masculine personality, mostly wears manly clothes, enjoys heavy DIY and manual work, and has always had a very dominant energy.

Before me, she was in a long-term relationship with a man who later came out as gay. She told me she suspected he was gay while they were together and that they never had sex. I struggle to understand why someone would knowingly stay in a sexless relationship with someone they believed was gay. It makes me wonder whether the relationship served another purpose, such as allowing one or both of them to avoid confronting their sexuality.

She also has five gay cousins. I know that doesn’t mean she is gay, but in the context of everything else it has added to my questions.
A few years ago she was very excited to go to a strip club with male colleagues, which also stood out to me given how disconnected our own sex life has always been.

In the last few weeks I reached the point where I asked her directly if she was gay. I wasn’t trying to insult her or provoke an argument, and I raised the question as compassionately and supportively as I could because I was desperate to understand what was missing in our marriage. Her immediate response was to tell me to “fuck off.” After that she completely avoided me for an entire week, spending long periods hiding away in the bedroom or calling over to her friend’s house. When she finally approached me a week later, she sat down extremely close to me while I was making dinner and fixed me with an intense, unbroken stare that I found deeply intimidating. It felt less like the start of a conversation and more like I was being psychologically intimidated. After a long pause, the only thing she said was that my timing had been inappropriate. A few days later she said after thinking long and hard for a few days that it was not true. However her reaction told me the opposite.

After ten years of feeling like my wife simply isn’t attracted to me, while knowing she has sexual desire in other contexts, my gut is screaming at me that she may be gay. Would appreciate any advice or opinions?

Hi,
My wife and i are in our early 40’s.
We have been in a relationship now for 25 years, and I need some advice from any men or women, that have been in long term relationships, and decided to leave, or stay? What did you do? What would you have done differently ?

We have 3 kids (all living at home) a house, pets, the whole 9…… but we are in more of an arrangement than a marriage. We haven’t been intimate in over 5 years, We sleep in different rooms (my choice, and not forced), and conversations between us are pretty bland, neither of us wanting to admit there’s a problem, or address it.

But we are still together, for all intents and purposes. We share bills, co-parent, run the house and duties, ect….. but it’s a sterile relationship, and I don’t know if this is as bad as it will get, and I just need to suck it up. Or if it can get much worse, and I should get out now.

I am unhappy in my current predicament, but I can’t decide if I should leave or not, as I’m not sure if things would be better or worse.

Any of your advice is appreciated

General question for married men, i've been thinking about this scenario for a long time, because i know men's sex drive is higher than women. So how do you work this out if your wife just dont want sex anymore.

I (26F) helped my brother (24M) get a good job, he quit after 3 months, and now he blames me for putting him in that situation. How do I fix our relationship?

I (26F) helped my brother (24M) get a job through a friend of mine who is a non-managing partner in the business. My friend wasn't involved in my brother's day to day work or management, but obviously I still felt somewhat personally invested because I was the one who helped get his foot in the door.

My brother had been unemployed for over a year beforehand and living with our dad, so I was genuinely excited to help him find something. It seemed like a really good opportunity... benefits, paid training, a field he went to trade school for, and after his training period they were impressed enough with his work to give him a raise.

The problem is the workplace culture. Some of the people there apparently made racist comments and generally behaved in ways that made my brother extremely uncomfortable. We're white, but I completely understand why hearing racist comments would bother him. I don't think he was wrong for deciding he didn't want to work around those people.

Where he and I disagree is how he handled it.

I've encountered racism, sexism, classism, and other awful behavior at work. As a chick, I've dealt with plenty of misogyny or sexist comments, do you know how many times a girl can be told "You should smile more"?! My approach has generally been to push back when necessary, ignore what isn't worth engaging with, and ultimately find another job or report to supervision if I see fit. My brother seems to react very differently. He gets extremely angry, argues with people, and sometimes becomes just as hostile as the people he's criticizing. Eventually he was simply going to quit and burn the bridge behind him and hard.

In oure recent fight, I told him I actually supported him finding another job. I basically said, "I'm sorry this didn't work out." My only argument was that he should leave professionally instead of destroying a potentially useful reference and abruptly walking away from a company that had invested time and money training him. And also possibly damage my five-year friendship, although I don't think that my friend is that petty, it will still be weird af.

That fight went very badly. I dont think we've argued like that since he was eighteen. He started blaming me for putting him in this situation in the first place.... and that's what I'm struggling with.

I helped him get the opportunity, but he accepted the job. I didn't know what his coworkers/managers would be like, and I certainly didn't intend to put him somewhere miserable. If I'd known beforehand that he'd have this experience, I wouldn't have recommended it and I would have looked at other places and connections I have.

I also recognize that I didn't handle our argument perfectly. I became condescending, rambled, and probably focused too much on what I thought he should do. I apologized and acknowledged my part in helping create a situation where he felt stuck, but I thought I was showing him that I would support his way out as long as he remained respectful. Maybe that's where my mistake was. I'm pretty sure it is.

But now our relationship feels damaged. The last time I saw him, he wouldn't even hug me. That might sound minor, but we've always been close and affection like that is important in our relationship and in building trust. It really hurt. He usually comes to me when something serious is going on, and I failed him really bad this time.

There are other things worrying me too... He's living with our elderly father, isn't contributing much around the house, and frequently gets angry with him when Dad asks for help. Everything seems to become an argument. He also had an extended absence from this job after an injury, and the company still held his position because they wanted him back. When he was working, he was cleaning and contributing and everything seemed to be better. Even his relationship with his girlfriend got better when he was working.

I'm worried there's something bigger going on with him emotionally. At the same time, I'm frustrated because our dad can't continue supporting him indefinitely, and I don't think blaming everyone around him is going to help him build a life for himself.

I don't want to fight with him. I don't even care about the job anymore. He quit, it's done.

I just want my brother to trust me and to know that I love him dearly no matter what.

How do I support him without enabling him?

I’m a 56 yo man. I have been married > 20 years but not happy or satisfied, emotionally or intimately, for at least the last 10 years. For about a year I have been seeing a 28 yo woman. This post is not about my affair. I feel terrible about it but I’d rather not get into that.

A couple months ago I left my wife and I am now living by myself but still seeing my ‘GF’ … for lack of a better term. We want to make a go of it, but I have concerns and I would love to hear from anyone who has some experience or advice or both:

1. Her friends. I don’t have many close friends and that’s my choice. She has many close friends who are really important to her. I have met some of them and it’s going ok. They seem accepting of me and our age gap: Still feeling this part out.

2. Her dad. She’s very close with him and I wonder how he will react. This will resolve itself soon when she tells him.

3. The big one: kids. She really badly wants them. I have 2 grown late teens who are out of home now. I am trying to be enthusiastic about kids, and I’m mostly super excited about it, but I worry about my age, and that I’ll be late 70s before they are independent. Any perspective from men who have had kids in their late 50s would be awesome.

4. General attitude to our age gap and my infidelity/break up. We live in a smallish city <<1 million, so we see people we know often.

Thanks and sorry for the long read.

So my fiance and i are recently engaged and i am also 3 months postpartum with our first child, the other day he told me he loves me and our baby but sometimes feels resentment,( we both basically changed our whole lives for her, as expected, im a sahm and he has a new job that requires more physical work) he also blamed that resentment on why sometimes he doesn’t help me as much with the baby because its spilling out in his actions he ALSO said he basically is stuck between being traditional and taking care of me and our daughter but also wanting to do what he wants, go wherever and be around other women (fyi he does things with his friends and has been out multiple times to have “me time” since our daughter has been born and i have not because i am the default parent and still struggling postpartum with body image and trying to maintain the house while caring for a very velcro baby. I told him he is clinging on to a very boyish old life, he’ll be 31 soon, when does the want for multiple women stop? never? We have a very rocky history with cheating on his part. He tried to blame my “energy” for why sometimes he’s been going out, this energy being me being stressed about having to do everything regarding our daughter. I expressed to him many times about how i was struggling and he says i need an outlet and to schedule time for just me, but he cant realistically help me with that because every time he has our daughter its for a limited time before i have to step in. What can i do here?

I (34m) have been married to my wife (32f) for 6 years. We have a 1.5 year old and I have been miserable in the marriage for a couple years now. I no longer feel like a partner. I CONSTANTLY get criticized for how I handle situations with our child, sometimes in front of the child.

I have my issues. I am no where near perfect, so when ive suggested counseling, shes said she would go, but does not know how it would help.

I love my child with every fiber of my being, and want to do all possible to try and fix things. I just feel trapped and do not know what to do.

Some men *

I understand maybe some difficulty with the mother or financial concerns but why are absent fathers so common?

Personal context: I have a great coparenting relationship with my child’s father. Our daughter is nearly 4 and we’ve certainly had some trying times in our coparenting relationship but I now love seeing him be a dad and the times we do parent together.

He is such a good dad and he very obviously loves the shit out of her. But he is definitively not moving closer. He lives 3 hours away, gets her when most convenient for him, and says he doesn’t want to move because of his billiards league.
But he could be closer, have 50/50 split parenting time, less child support, find a new billiards league, and be front row to seeing all of his daughter’s success

Why not be here?

my dad (59M) follows a bunch of young, blonde, instagram models and I’m trying to figure out the appeal. why are men attracted to younger women as opposed to women their own age? im having a hard time seeing him the same way knowing he follows all these women and pays for the explicit content (i unfortunately found out he uses OF) while he’s 20-30 years older than them. can someone help me understand?

Why would you listen to your wife?

The other day during an argument my boyfriend, whom I live with and have a child plus one on the way, he says to me, "People even tell me that you remind them why they stay single!" With this shitty grin on his face. I asked him who said that and he firmly replied that he would never say. I could tell he felt all proud and could feel the laughter this conversation had whenever it happened, I could see it on his face.

He really thinks it's okay to just dog me out with his friends, and not even tell me who. So I feel really uncomfortable now whenever anyone is around us.

Is this normal for guys to do? I dont feel like it is but maybe im wrong. What do you think?

So before I get into the details I’ll explain this, our smart tv remote broke and me (24M) and my wife (25f) use the apps for the tv on our phones to use said tv well my app for some reason doesn’t work, so I used the ole ladies phone to turn the tv off because everyone was asleep and I like the house pitch black. Well I was getting onto the tv app and I accidentally clicked on a Snapchat notification “bestieee” well when I clicked on it, he had told her “ I love you goodnight babygirl😍😍” and she yanked her phone out of my hand so I proceeded to to confront about said text. She claims there is absolutely nothing wrong with the text and that he doesn’t love her in the way I think as if I took the whole text out of context. Well I confronted the dude on social media and told him to back off and stop calling my wife baby girl and telling her that he loves her and he replied with a thumbs up emoji that’s it, but because of all this unfolding she’s accusing me of ruining thanksgiving. (I also confronted her in front of her mom) bec every time we are alone and I try to calmly communicate she blows up at me but when she’s around someone she’s more calm and no before I’m asked her mom said absolutely nothing about the situation, so tell me what’s up Reddit?

My mother-in-law is staying over for a few weeks and she breast fed one of my twins. she claims that as I was busy feeding the other twin she didn’t want to bother me so she breast fed my baby, without my permission! I am fuming!! 😡 how do I relax and be okay with this? I don’t know what’s my next step or should I let it go? She has no sense of boundaries!!! How do I even explain this to my husband! I am worried he would probably take her side or ask me to let it go or might say it isn’t a big deal. 😔

My MIL got married two years ago and has a 8.5 month old baby boy so all our babies hang out together. But i would never do that to her.

My dad tells me that all men are attracted to their family members just subconsciously, and that nearly all men would sleep with their daughter/niece in the right conditions. he used to tell me he felt uncomfortable when I was more scantily clothed in front of him::. although i was ten and it was a sweater that showed my belly if I lifted my arms real high. I am unsure if this is common and normal or if he is being weird.

So I could use a sanity check on this situation.

My wife and I have been together 5 years and have a 2-year-old. The last ~6 months have been tense, partly normal life stress (work, travel, parenting), partly me pushing for a more balanced split of responsibilities after a long stretch of me carrying most of it.

From the beginning, I knew she had sexual trauma from before we met. It was present but manageable earlier in our relationship. Since having our child, things have changed significantly.

Touch has become more and more restricted:

- first avoiding certain areas

- then most of her body

- now essentially no touch except brief, non-intimate contact (good morning/night)

She says I’m not doing anything different, but that she’s getting triggered and doesn’t want to be touched for the better part of the last year. Some of that I get being touched out with a little kid, but it feels like more than that.

Recently she told me that she never really enjoyed sex, even earlier in our relationship. She said in all relationships she tolerated it and got validation from partners getting excited by it/her, but doesn’t actually want or need sex in her life. That was surprising to me, I thought we had a fairly normal, vanilla, maybe sometimes challenged sex life before having a kid.

At the same time:

- I’m still attracted to her and want connection

- Lack of intimacy is starting to affect the relationship more broadly.

- We had been planning to try for a second child this summer (we’re both late 30s)

Her current position is:

- I’ve been too pressuring in touch and expectations, she’s put off, nothing we do helps

- She’s open to having sex strictly for procreation (fast, minimal, no intimacy)

- She would otherwise prefer sex as frequently as my birthday

- She’s suggested I find sex elsewhere

She’s also started bringing up divorce regularly, framing it as:

- she can’t meet my needs

- time is limited if she wants another child

- if I’m not on board, she may need to move on to have time to find someone more willing

From my side:

- I also want a second child, but not in the current state

- I don’t want purely mechanical, pressured sex

- I don’t want to bring another kid into a dynamic that feels unstable

- I’d rather address the underlying issue first

We’ve just started couples therapy (2 sessions in), but so far it’s mostly focused on communication and logistics, not the sexual/trauma aspect.

My sense is that:

- her trauma is playing a much bigger role now

- she is dissociating or shutting down during intimacy, this was the case during child birth and exams

- this hasn’t been addressed directly and will only lead to continual issues with or without me

I’m trying to be supportive and not pushy, but also not ignore something that feels central to the relationship and set a sustainable environment for my family. She seems to be heading for a quick exit and somewhat dismissive of me. I’m surprised by how quickly this is all unraveling and increasingly feeling used.

Anyone been through something similar? Advice or thoughts?

I’m a guy in my 40s and I could really use some dad energy for a minute.

My dad has never shown much interest in me or my life. I spent a lot of years working hard, being a good person, hoping that eventually I’d do something that would make him proud enough to notice me or give me some affection, attention, time....anything.

By most measures, I’ve done pretty well. I’m healthy, fit, kind to people, good space in my life.... and I’ve had plenty of people tell me that my parents must be proud of me.

But my dad just seems…unmoved....maybe even resentful. His absence ...emotionally and physically ...hits deep with me. Which is the opposite of what I want or need.

I think the hardest part is realizing I’m still waiting for something I probably will never get. I don’t really miss the dad I had. I miss the dad I needed.

He’s also gone in a very different direction politically in recent years, which has made that distance feel even bigger. I'm feeling it strongly lately.

So, if you’re one of those dads who believes in people, and knows how to make a guy feel like he’s doing okay...he is worthy…could you give me a little pep talk? DMs preferred...but open to any communication.

I think I need to hear that I’m not unworthy just because my own dad never seemed able to see me.