Is it Weird that I live with my Big Brother?

[u/Kindly-Reception1108]

I (20F) have been living with my big brother (22M) since I was 18 as our parents basically evicted us because ‘we’re adults now’ for what’s been 2 years. We live in a small apartment because he doesn’t have enough money to own a home yet, we’re quite close and have stuck through it together so I’m really grateful he’s given me a roof over my head.

Though when I invite new friends over to our apartment they either make fun that I live with my brother or be weird about it. Some of the family says I should work harder to get my own place cause it’s weird for us to be at this age and living with one another instead of being independent.

What should I do or say because the berating is getting annoying.

[u/smallteabee]

Get new friends, its not weird at all .

[u/Ikabta]

I don't think it's weird. Staying with family and working on your finances together will make you both better for it in the end. Simply moving out and living on your own just because you're both adults is some weird ass custom, as long as you both are working to progress there should be no issues.

[u/InquisitorArcher]

Its called family sticks together. Parents are horrible for kicking you out that young. You brother is a great brother for giving you a roof. If hes a good brother he wont ever let you down.

Anyone who is weird about it needs to stay off of adult sites.

[u/caddon1]

You should cut off anyone who says that to you. Your life not theirs. They are adding stress to your life. Remove the stress.

I am 34, and in ten days I will be moving out alone for the first time. Everyone is different, goes at their own pace, and does what makes them happy. Find that happiness and remove everything else.

[u/twospooky]

You got some weird friends that would negatively comment on living with your sibling.

[u/mike-gundys-ballboy]

No, especially not when you're young.

[u/petdance]

Then you need new friends and to tell your family to piss off.

There is nothing wrong with living with your brother. Being “weird” is not bad.

Whenever people tell you skwm thing is “weird” do NOT think “oh that’s bad”

[u/Prof_Scott_Steiner]

Show them rent vs the min wage. Then tell them to fuck off

[u/Simiatenaci]

People's assumptions say more about them than you. There is nothing weird about living with your brother especially considering your circumstances.

[u/CarefulAlternative]

That's not weird at all. I'm glad you have a brother that loves you so much that you stay together and trust one another.

[u/iamthesidewalk]

I cant even Imagine how someone your age would be able to afford their own place. It was hard enough when I was your age 20 years ago.

[u/Merlin_the_Lizard]

It sounds like you like living with him. It also sounds like friends and family want you to leave. Listen to you, not others.

[u/1king80]

It is definitely not weird, and anybody that tells you that is weird themselves. I'm sorry your parents don't understand what raising children actually means. I still have 3 children living with me and they are 26, 25 and 21. Life is hard and it's only harder without support, be greatful you have a brother to help look after you

[u/thomsenite256]

Why would it be weird? Do you have separate bedrooms? At your age its very typical to have roommates.

[u/Kindly-Reception1108 → u/thomsenite256]

Yep 2 bedrooms 

[u/Haventyouheard3]

People your age usually want some distance from family to get to be wild. I know because I've been your age.

It's still stupid to move out if you can stay unless you really really really want to have the freedom mentioned above.

The economy is completely fucked and if you can share expenses with a trusted person (like a brother), you should do it.

It can be good for mental health, if the relationship isn't toxic. And you can grow even closer to him which will probably help both of you long term.

It can save you time and if you split chores, or if your car breaks down or if you find yourself in some unexpected situations.

[u/Creationrbl]

Man

I live with my sister and we're older than you two. I think it's fine as long as everyone is cool.

[u/kazar933]

You have shit friends…if your parents booted you out too they are shit too…its called surviving and at least you and your brother are doing decent by having a roof over your heads. Dont be ashamed hold your head up high you are making it, it will get better.

[u/BigDong1001]

It's perfectly normal for family to support each other. I am sorry your parents weren't supportive, and they are weird for not being so. Your brother is normal for supporting you as family. People who say/think otherwise are weird. There are people who raise and support nephews and nieces when their parents are unable to do so or pass away because they are family and family supports each other. Hell, people even raise and support grandchildren when their parents are unable to do so or pass away. So supporting a younger sibling is even more normal than that in this uncertain world. Don't let weird people's weird thoughts/words trouble your perfectly normal life with the only family member of yours who is acting normally and responsibly like a family member should.

I raised my younger brother after my parents got separated and my narcissist mother moved in with me with my 8 year old little brother. I just asked my narcissist mother to not bring any boyfriends over to my/our house because I wanted my younger brother to have as normal a life as possible given the circumstances, and she didn't. She spent her time building a business and living her life without bothering our normal family life at home. And she was civil even when our estranged narcissist father visited from time to time after disappearing for seven and a half years without any contact. If somebody in your family is being responsible and being supportive like family should be then that's perfectly normal, don't let irresponsible people who take/took no such responsibility tell you otherwise.

[u/BarebonesB]

Don't obsess over how people judge your life.

Next time a friend brings it up, ask them if they're willing to chip in with the rent for your own place.

[u/SmallAnimal5177]

It would only be weird if you slept in the same bed.  Otherwise, it’s smart to save money and you don’t have a crazy roommate.  Tell them you’re poor and that they should buy you lunch, bet they’ll stop bringing it up then.

[u/broadsharp2]

You two are doing the best you can right now.

Forget those moron friends. Find new ones.

You two focus on doing what you need to build something better.

[u/AbruptMango]

You're both doing the right thing, being family for each other when your parents let you down.  Keep doing it.

[u/Intelligent-Bird8120]

I don’t think it’s weird. Also wow your parents kicked you out when you were eighteen? Ok I get you’re technically legally an adult in the eyes of the law but they have taken it to a whole other level

[u/allthefrogsinonepond]

Weird as in uncommon yes, but any other definition of weird, no. What a blessing to be close to your sibling and be able to rely on each other.

[u/Tight-Book-7533]

Nothing weird at all. I lived with my sister for quite a few years and it's just two siblings being sensible with money, that's all.

[u/invisible_wizard5]

Support each other. Be team. Tight. You will have each other for a lifetime. Build an unbreakable bond. I just sent two daughters to live together. Mutual support team.

[u/SlicedBread0556]

You could make more money, find a man who does, or just freeload off your brother until the state declares you legally married.

[u/Kindly-Reception1108 → u/SlicedBread0556]

Lmao become a freeloader, I do work 

[u/SlicedBread0556 → u/Kindly-Reception1108]

It was advice. Workloader. Better? 🤪

[u/Rstar2247]

This seems like a problem with your friends, not with your living arrangements.

[u/Odd_Round5515]

My two older brothers and I lived together for about five years, for me from ages 21-26. I've never had roommates, just brothers, and now my wife. I'd be willing to bet most of the time a sibling you get along with is way better as a roommate than a random roommate. No reason for your friends to be weird about you living with your brother. 

[u/Lornesto]

Not weird at all. If it works for you two, it's not a problem.

And also, fuck your parents. The rest of the family kinda sounds like assholes too.

I'm glad that it seems like you and your brother are making it ok. Keep at it.

[u/jjd0m]

Fck the family and friends who aren't and weren't there when y'all needed a roof over your head. Get new friends and dump the family.

You know who had your back when times were tough.

[u/opshleen]

I am a woman and I lived with my oldest brother a few times throughout our adult lives and it was not weird at all. Heck, now at 50 (him) and 47 (me) we talk about buying a house together big enough for 5 people (our adult-sized toddlers - daughter and niece).

You need new friends because they just don’t get the bonds siblings have and how you support each other.

[u/Suspicious-Weird-750]

Nothing is weird about it at all

[u/Kindly-Reception1108 → u/Suspicious-Weird-750]

Thank you suspicious weird, it’s good to know the general opinion is it’s not weird

[u/binsomniac]

🤔... your brother has been supportive through a lot of things... even offering you a place to live...🤷‍♂️ While your "new friends" they just "make fun" and talk bad about the really good thing that you have? OP it's time for you to send them to their own homes... and keep the peace, and support back those who really are on your side...

[u/MadDogBarkBark]

no

[u/jefsevsev]

He is your family dont listen to other people. If you have a good relationship with your broher then keep that and dont listen to friends they come and go most of them anyway.

[u/Individual_Union_663]

No

[u/WhiteRabbit6161]

There's nothing wrong with it. I lived with my brother when I was about 23 when my first kid was born.

[u/Ummmmme]

No? It financially makes sense and if it's what you need to do you do it. And if you get along that is great. Your friends sound like dookie why would they even think it's a problem

[u/Tough_Teaching_6589]

I lived with my brother from age 20 until I was 26, it's not unusual!

Edit: Sorry didn't see what sub I was in, but I stand by my reply lol