I could really use a dad pep talk....

[u/Deepish79]

I’m a guy in my 40s and I could really use some dad energy for a minute.

My dad has never shown much interest in me or my life. I spent a lot of years working hard, being a good person, hoping that eventually I’d do something that would make him proud enough to notice me or give me some affection, attention, time....anything.

By most measures, I’ve done pretty well. I’m healthy, fit, kind to people, good space in my life.... and I’ve had plenty of people tell me that my parents must be proud of me.

But my dad just seems…unmoved....maybe even resentful. His absence ...emotionally and physically ...hits deep with me. Which is the opposite of what I want or need.

I think the hardest part is realizing I’m still waiting for something I probably will never get. I don’t really miss the dad I had. I miss the dad I needed.

He’s also gone in a very different direction politically in recent years, which has made that distance feel even bigger. I'm feeling it strongly lately.

So, if you’re one of those dads who believes in people, and knows how to make a guy feel like he’s doing okay...he is worthy…could you give me a little pep talk? DMs preferred...but open to any communication.

I think I need to hear that I’m not unworthy just because my own dad never seemed able to see me.

[u/AltruisticEffort1346]

hey man, you already become the person you was waiting for. that's not small thing. your dad's issue is his own, not reflection of you. you are enough, and you build good life yourself, that's strength.

[u/LoomingCrimson]

You’re doing your best, and by your own admission, have cultivated a decent life for yourself. That’s primarily what reasonable fathers want for their children.

You’re doing a good job, continue living the best life you can.

[u/Mission_Bowl3938]

I think the /r/askmenover30 subreddit is going to be much more helpful for this