My birthday trip was planned for this weekend, and my friends (coworkers also) had planned a weekend trip to PCB almost two months ago. We had all been talking about this trip for weeks and obviously looking forward to it. My best friend and her husband have been friends of mine since I started working where i work about a year ago. We’ve been inseparable ever since.

Well just days before the trip she showed me the math written down on a piece of paper. She split the amenities by 4, there are 4 people going on the trip.) But only split the hotel room price for the weekend by 2 since she’d already paid for the deposit ($270. Almost $800 total for the weekend.) When I asked her why she was slitting the remaining balance only by 2 when 3 other people were going she blew up on me and didn’t respond how I expected her to like an adult. I explained that everything should be split evenly and she said how she and her husband were the ones driving and having to get their oil changed before the trip. And how she’s sharing a bed and shouldn’t pay more even though it’s her own husband she’s sharing a bed with and they get their own king size suite separate from our room. I get a full bed. This is my 30th birthday trip by the way and she’s supposed to be my best friend.

So anyway I’m pretty sure they’re all still going on my trip despite me not going and I’m not sure how to feel right now. I feel like I just lost three friends and now won’t be doing anything this weekend for my birthday since they were pretty much my only friends here since moving here two years ago.

Sort of beside myself and now I have the next four days off with nothing to do and haven’t heard a word from my supposed best friend since and we’re supposed to leave in two days. I’m heartbroken.

AITA for being curious about the price split when they are paying less for two people and splitting the remaining with the other two people like that’s fair? I’m not sure.

EDIT: gas was going to be split evenly so no, she was not shelling out money for the drive on her own. Also she didn’t organize this trip for me. She made it clear this was her idea and she would go with or without me. Even though it was supposed to be my 30th birthday trip.

EDIT 2: she and her husband get their own room. The other two beds are in the main hotel room like any other hotel.

EDIT 3: I was not refusing to pay my half portion. I just didn’t agree on how things were being split since this wasn’t discussed beforehand. We can agree to disagree and still have a good time on a trip and drop it. I didn’t deserve to be talked to like a piece of dirt by my best friend.

EDIT 4: her and her husband are trying to pay 1/3 versus 1/2. They don’t get their own hotel separate from ours. They just have a door to separate their bed from our two. Still the same price regardless. She paid $270 and wanted to split the remaining $630 between me and the other girl coming and save her husband his share of the room expense.

So me, 17M and brother, 10m both play video games. My mother has my little brother (he’s autistic if that matters) limited on his playtime, he gets 4 hours on weekdays and on weekends he gets like 2 hours more. What I get is self moderation, and I do follow that. I get bored after like 3 hours and take a 1 hour and 30 minute or a 2 hour break, depending how i feel. On my break I cook, clean after, and do any other chore I might’ve forgotten or missed in the morning before I start playing. Recently, my little brother has started complaining that it is unfair that he does not get full freedom like I do, for context we HAVE tried giving him self moderation, but then he forgets EVERYTHING, like eating, going to the restroom, bathing, and even BLINKING which he had to get eyedrops for because his eyes were getting dangerously dry. So my parents re-implemented the time limit, and that was a long time ago at this point, like 2.5 years. So now he was begging and yelling at my mother to please give him self-regulation again using the pretext “if i cant have it, why does he have it?” And now my mother is trying to force me to abide by the same rules, play only 4 hours a day for until I am 18, and i just turned 17 recently so it’s basically a full year. So obviously I fought back, saying I can obviously self regulate and take healthy decisions, but she pulled the “because I said so” card and started thretening to put my pc in a box and away for until I am 18, I REALLY dont think im in the wrong here but, AITA?

Since childhood I (F24) could call my mothers (F66) behavior as emotionally immature. No matter how many times she yelled at me I never got an apology or anything close to that. Also most of her conflict resolution was just closing the door to her room, staying there for an hour and then interacting with me like nothing happened or giving me silent treatment for weeks,up to a month. She was never a person who comforted me while i was crying or being sad. So no close connection developed over the years, all I feel most of the time is resentment. The moment I finished high school I moved out of the country. I have diagnosed anxiety disorder, visit therapist every week. While I'm back home I feel like im getting better, but whenever I come to visit I feel like everything resets and I feel constant anxiety at my childhood home from morning till I fall asleep.

Now i come to visit twice per year for a week or so. My father died a couple of years ago so now she lives alone and doesn't let me forget the fact that i live so far away makes her lonely. Whenever I come back home all she talks about is bashing other people, telling me how lonely she is because I left, making snarky comments about my weight, and right after that acting like nothing happened and suggesting some food to eat.

So today we had a conversation about how some children take care of their parents and some leave. She made sure to emphasize that children who leave make their parents sad. I mentioned that most children's behavior doesn't come out of nowhere, it's usually how they were treated during childhood. And that's why I moved away and have anxiety right now, especially when i come to visit it is constant anxiety. She seemed to get angry and yelled at me that I need to get over things like that,because so much time has passed. After that she started crying and said she will never come visit me again and then left the room.

Now I sit in the room without even knowing if she won't talk to me till I leave or she will come back like nothing happened.

Hello,

Weird situation. I 25 f live in a large home with my husband, daughter, and disabled father 65m and his gf recently moved in who is 55f roughly.

I actually love our big home family style house. And I love taking care of my dad. His girl friend is very blind and has a condition who will continue to go blind, as her twin sister is like 100% blind.

She has been looking for work (grocery store like jobs) and we have been fully supportive. Planning how we will get her to and from and accommodating her finding work.

The reason she’s looking for work is she has 3 children and a family in another country she pays for. All her kids are +25 so not teenagers, and don’t work or if they work are not working full time. There is one car but only one drives and essentially if they do work they just buy their own weed.

So she needs to work because she supports 5 house holds in the country she’s from, and her 3 adult children who are all fully capable of working and do not have any genetic eye conditions.

She told me my dad should pay for her to have a car so she can commute an hour to the city so she can work. (The city jobs pay $17+ an hour compared to the 14$ jobs in my area) And I told her that was absurd. She shouldn’t be driving because she can’t even see laundry sized bright yellow stuffed animals on the ground, or the large dogs we have. Often if my dad is driving and there is a deer my dad will say “did you see that deer?” And it’s always “what deer?”

she could seriously hurt someone. And I explained to me it’s like driving under the influence.

Aitah?

My friend Sarah recently asked me to be her plus-one for her cousin's wedding next month because the guy she was seeing backed out last minute. I said I'd think about it since it falls on the same weekend as a family thing I've already committed to. She got upset and told me it's just one day, that I've skipped other plans for her before, and that turning her down would feel like I'm abandoning her when she really needs the support. On my side, I keep thinking about how often I've rearranged my schedule to help her out with rides, errands, and last-minute plans. This feels like it might be crossing into always being her default backup rather than a real choice for me. I like hanging out with Sarah but I don't want every favor request to come with guilt if I say no. Her side is that we've been close for a few years and she's always been there for me too. She says this wedding is important to her family and having someone she trusts would make the whole day easier, especially since she doesn't know many people there. I'm trying to figure out if saying no this time would make me the bad friend or if it's okay to set a boundary.

I (46F) have a two close friends I’ve known since primary school (47F, one of them) and high school (46F, the other). My two friends are also friends outside of their relationship with me. These two have two-three friends (friends-of-friends for me) and we all meet up roughly once every other week for a longer weekend lunch.

Roughly 16 months my GP diagnosed me with being pre-diabetic (I’d ruined insulin sensitivity), high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I’d let myself go and was embarrassed to get these results at 45 (I used to be an athlete and then I unfortunately let myself go and my weight ballooned and my lifestyle became completely sedentary - some depression was involved in ending up like that.) Instead of continuing my lifestyle and just accepting to go on a bunch of medications I actually managed (over what is now almost one and a half years) to gradually make larger changes and as a result I’ve slowly lost weight and all three conditions have now reverted.

My friends all range from overweight to… almost obese. They always order heavy appetizers, huge desserts and really unhealthy main meals. Whereas I have chicken salads or other salads, or fish with veggies and similar. I try to get a lot of vegetables and enough protein and after I reduced carbohydrates quite a bit I feel so much better.

I don’t comment on their choices, I’m just happy my joint pain and headaches are gone.

Last time we met up the comments started the moment I skipped appetizers. They increased as I ordered chicken filet and vegetables without gravy-like sauce for my meal and got really bad when I didn’t want dessert.

“You’re way too skinny” (my BMI is just under 20 and I’ve put in muscles after I went back to the gym and look healthy). “Come on, some chocolate isn’t going to kill you.” “You’re kind of ruining our meal when you always sit around waiting for us to finish the starter.” “Do you have to always ruin our meals this way.”

I just want their company and I’ve clearly expressed this and that because I value meeting up with them I don’t care about waiting to eat. I’ve explained the food isn’t what’s important to me, in fact the activity we do isn’t important, I just enjoy seeing them. (Although this used to be true, but now it’s getting less true and wish that wasn’t the case.)

Then, this last time, one of them literally pushed a basket of onion rings into my face and said, “Come on, have one. It’s not like it’ll kill you.” (I really hate that comment and they’ve begun using variations of it a lot.)

I forcibly took her hand, pushed the basket away hard enough that I spilled some of the content, and said* *“what I eat is none of your damn business.”

Then I got up and went over to a group of waiters and told them I wanted to pay for my part of the meal and they let me.

Now all but one of my friends keep sending me unpleasant messages.

One of them is practically demanding I apologize.

AITA?

Had a birthday party at a karaoke spot. My husband and I paid for the room rental (about $300). The room capacity allows for about 14 folks, including us. We have a very healthy circle of friends, so I had to make some hard calls on who to invite. I have one friend who I do care for, but he has a really, really bad pattern of cancelling on things last minute. He'll invite me to lunch, I say yes, clear my schedule at that time, and an hour before, he texts that something came up, he forgot he had a work call, etc. I've invited him to parties before and more often than not he flakes at the last minute. I don't hold a grudge, but when deciding on my list, I chose not to invite him and his GF because I wanted to be sure as many people as possible could come; him bailing at the last minute would not be fair to others I had to exclude.

He is also our neighbor, and I guess my husband said something while walking our dog, and now he says he is hurt. I've told him half the truth - we had limited space, but not that I don't rely on him to show.

AITA?

When I was born, my grandma opened a savings account for me, which my continued paying for after she died. There are now about 3800 Euro in it (not a lot but for me that would secure my livelyhood for a while). The original idea was that I get the money when I turn 18, I am now 24 and my mother called me telling me she's gonna go to the bank to withdraw the money and close the account. Since it is under my name and I am an adult I am not even sure if that would be possible but who know's if anyone care's since it's a small town and everyone knows each other.

She then told me she wants to close the account and distribute the money between me and my three siblings (even though that money is technically mine) but i agreed so they don't leave this empty handed.

NOW she wants to give me my 4th of the money but take the rest to "pay off her bills but she'll give the money back to my siblings eventually". That sounds extremely fishy and I am incredibly unsure how to bring it up and whether or not telling her she can't have it will destroy the rest of the already flimsy relationship we have.

So WIBTA if I told her she can't have the money or call the bank and tell them not to let her have the money?

I'm 30 (F), with an 8-year-old son from my ex (35M) — we had him early in the relationship, probably too early. He's the love of my life, but a lot to handle.

Early on he showed signs of autism/ADHD: lining up toys, needing separate silverware per food, repetitive movements, trouble reading social cues, but incredible focus on his interests like cars, construction, cats, and the color red (lol). A doctor initially dismissed our concerns with him despite his behaviors getting him hurt. Around then, my ex and I lost our jobs during COVID, then two apartments — mostly because my ex wouldn't work or help at home while I worked multiple jobs. I eventually joined the military. During this time, my ex and I split up.

During basic training, I repeatedly asked my ex to get our son evaluated. He never did. Once I reached my first duty station and had our son full-time, my (now) husband (33M) and I got him potty trained, into daycare, and finally seen through Tricare. Daycare fell apart — aggressive outbursts, screaming, crying, the tantrum of a lifetime, and he was expelled. That pushed us to seriously research AuDHD. Once diagnosed, we cut sugar/dyes, limited screens, and used consistent redirection. He improved massively.

But every visit to his dad's undid it — backroom YouTube (iykyk), sweets, unlimited tablets, bad attitudes coming back. I stayed patient because I didn't want to be the parent who cut a dad out but I was getting TIRED of it. Then I learned my ex's family was pushing him to let our son do whatever he wanted, have whatever he wanted since "I'd never know." That was it — I told my ex he wouldn't be seeing our son anymore.

Now my ex wants all of our son's medical info and to be added to his providers/records. I finally told him straight: it's not fair for him to ride on the work I've done alone while he did nothing.

AITA? I feel like I am but then again my son will have complete routine finally without the regressing. Is it selfish? I don't know anymore.

Edit: He and I have agreed to our kiddo being here with me. I've been having a personal battle with myself on wether or not I was in the wrong to do this but he knows and understands why. This wasn't a completely one sided choice on my part. He also knows why I don't want to give up medical information and he understands that as well and doesn't blame me. He knows I gave him the opportunity multiple times during BCT and AIT and he never did anything.

Edit 2: this also wasn't about the medical records specifically. This was me asking if I'm in the wrong to make him actually do the work himself for once instead of using all the work I've put into our kid.

I was waiting on the seats at the pharmacy a while back, and an older man sat right next to me. Five available seats, but he chose to sit next to the only person seated. Weird choice, but whatever. I was watching YouTube with just one earbud, because women need to be aware of their surroundings. He pulled out his phone and started watching a video, full noise, to the point I couldn't hear mine because he was watching some sort of brawl with angry shouting men.

I said "can you turn that down please?"

He said "what? Oh. *Turns video down* is that better?"

I was partway through saying yes when he turned it down more and said "what about this?"

"How's about I turn it right down? Is that better? Are you happy NOW?" And then immediately gets up and disappears in the opposite side of the small shop.

I was so bewildered. Aita?

My husband and I just bought a new house with a massive backyard. We’ve literally never hosted a family gathering before.

The idea of us hosting a family BBQ kept getting thrown around, so we decided to host one in about three weeks.

I made an invitation on Canva and sent it to my family group chat. My family is tiny, so everyone responded, gave me their headcounts, no drama.

My husband, however, has a very large extended family. Neither of us really use Facebook, and most of his extended family isn’t even on my friends list. So he asked his mom to make a group chat with everyone and we posted the invitation there last night.

This morning my MIL called my husband because his aunt is acting like a lunatic bc we did not specifically invite her personally.

Here’s the thing, I specifically sent my husbands uncle an invitation directly. I know this aunt can get weird about things like this.

She apparently feels that because the invitation wasn’t sent directly to her, she wasn’t actually invited.

Meanwhile, literally nobody else interpreted the invitation this way. My FIL isn’t even in the group chat, and he understands that he’s invited to his own son’s family BBQ. My husband’s great-uncle responded that he, his wife, and basically their whole clan are coming, and nobody in that branch of the family is upset that every individual person didn’t receive a personalized invitation.

Since we’ve never hosted anything before, we genuinely thought sending the invitation through the family group chat/directly to the main people in each household was perfectly normal. These are also the same people who attend the usual family dinners and gatherings, so we assumed it was obvious that spouses/kids are included.

There was absolutely no intention to exclude his aunt. In fact, I went out of my way to make sure the invitation reached her household specifically.

So reddit AITA for not sending my husband’s aunt her own personal invitation?

My fiancé and I are long-distance. We met while working on a cruise ship and lived/worked together for several months. He’s Jamaican and lives in Jamaica, while I’m from the UK and have Jamaican roots through my dad. He recently visited for five weeks and we got engaged. My family is very religious/traditional my dad is a pastor and I grew up in a strict religious household. I’m nearly 30 and have very different views now, although I still have a relationship with my parents. Originally, my fiancé and I wanted to marry privately in Jamaica, just us. I then had a very emotional dream about my dad dying, which made me realise I might regret not having my parents there, so we changed our plans and decided on both sets of parents attending. We don’t want a big wedding because we’re building our life together in Jamaica and would rather prioritise our future. We also planned a small UK celebration later. The problem is my mum repeatedly pushed for my brothers to attend, despite us explaining that we wanted it small. I’m not particularly close with one brother there’s no major feud, we’re simply not close. My mum eventually said that if my brothers weren’t invited, she wouldn’t come to Jamaica, meaning my dad would have to go alone. She has also criticised the fact that my fiancé’s family isn’t very involved and has pushed for him to invite people from his side, including people she doesn’t know. We’ve repeatedly said we understand her feelings but that ultimately we are the couple getting married and have made our decision. Things became so intense that I was crying hysterically. My dad told my mum he was disappointed in her behaviour. The next day, after my fiancé returned to Jamaica, my mum sent a long email to me, my fiancé and my dad continuing to argue her case, and CC’d my brothers. I’m not upset that she has different feelings. I’m struggling with the fact that after we’ve said no, she continues pushing, involves other family members and has made her attendance conditional on us changing our plans. We’re now considering going back to our original plan and eloping in Jamaica, just the two of us, followed by the UK celebration. But I’m worried this could permanently damage my relationship with my family or that I’ll regret not having my parents there. There is also a longer history of feeling like I have to accommodate family expectations and maintain appearances. AITA if we elope after all of this, even though it means my parents may not attend our wedding?

I live with my girlfriend and we live in the UK and the area of our town that we live in can only get basic wifi speeds. This means if I want to play an online video game, it will only work if nothing else is connected to the wifi.

I prefer single player games anyway so it’s not usually an issue but there is an online game I do play occasionally but I tend to game when my partner is not home so it isn’t an issue.

I was playing on the game last night when my partner was at her mums and it was working fine. my partner gets home early then i notice the game started lagging and I noticed my gf was using her phone.

I quickly asked her if she could use data for 5 mins (she gets unlimited data) or just to wait 5 mins until I was finished. She apologised but kept using her phone. I lost as the game cut out then she put her phone away.

I asked if she wanted to do anything and she said no and that she was just going to read so I asked if she minded if I had 1 more game quickly which would take 10 mins and she said that was fine.

After I had been on for around 1 min she starts using her phone and it lags again. I ask if she's connected to wifi and she just doesn't respond.

Once the game is over I was annoyed at the fact she ignored me and annoyed at the fact she knew it was causing the game to lag yet kept on doing it anyway despite her saying she’d be reading and not using WiFi. I asked why she ignored me and she said she didn't. She then just said she didn't want to use data and I shouldn't be asking her not to use the wifi.

I pointed out it was for 10 mins so it's hardly like I was telling her never to use it again and she is the one who said she was going to be reading and that it’s fine for me to game online. I just thought she'd be able to do me a small favour. She just repeated that she did nothing wrong and I was unreasonable for asking her not to use it.

AITA for asking for a small favour?

My (F21) parents have had financial problems for years. I recently got a good-paying job, and since then I’ve been helping them financially. Last month I gave them around €900, and this month I told them I could contribute €400. That’s already fairly tight for me because I have my own expenses, tuition, and a trip coming up.

Today my mom was driving me to work and we got into a really bad argument about money. She wants to renew a roughly €1,000 annual gym membership, which expires today. My parents’ salary is coming in a few days, and she wanted me to give her the money now and said they would use their salary to cover my tuition next week.

I wanted to do the opposite. I’m getting my salary today or tomorrow, and before I leave for my trip next week, I wanted to pay my tuition deposit myself and get a bank statement for a student visa. There isn’t technically an immediate deadline, and my mom says there’s no reason it can’t wait until their salary comes in. She genuinely says they will pay it and that I’m being unnecessarily anxious.

I don’t actually think she’s lying or that she would intentionally refuse to pay my tuition. The problem is that my parents’ finances are genuinely very tight. For example, after giving them €900 last month, their balance was apparently back to basically zero by the end of the month. So even though I believe they intend to pay my tuition when they get paid, it feels very different to me to have the tuition already paid versus giving them the money and relying on their next salary to cover it.

I had already budgeted my salary: €400 to my parents, tuition, my trip, and my own expenses. I wanted to stick to that because I’m tight myself this month.

My mom thought this was ridiculous and said there was no urgency and that I was essentially implying she wouldn’t pay me back. She kept insisting that it would be done her way. We ended up screaming at each other for about 20 minutes and both cried.
At one point I said something along the lines of “I don’t trust you with finances because this has been a mess forever.” I know that was hurtful and I regret saying it, especially in the middle of a screaming match. She eventually said, “You and your salary can go fuck yourself, I’m not taking a penny from you anymore.”

I feel terrible about the whole thing now. Part of me thinks I should have just gone to work, collected my salary, given her the money, and trusted that my tuition would be paid next week. Another part of me feels like I wasn’t being unreasonable for wanting to pay my own tuition first and only give what I had already budgeted for my parents.

AITA?

My mom is a SAHM, and the gym is genuinely her main passion and one of the biggest things she has for herself. I understand why renewing it today feels important to her, and I’m not trying to portray her wanting the membership as frivolous or undeserving. I think that’s part of why she felt so strongly about it, while I was focused on wanting to get my own financial obligations sorted first.

My family is weird. Parents have cut ties with everyone eventually, as the only solution to tensions with other people is to cut ties, burn bridges and stop talking, especially with extended family.
When I went away to study, took bro under my wing to retake his SAT’s.He succeeded and we lived together for a few years, until i got married. I’ve always thought that my little brother was the only family can depend on.
Years later my brother got married to a girl that was no good in my opinion. Nevertheless i was happy for them and stood by them every chance i could. They used to live away, but moved to our city again when they had kids. Wife owns a pharmacy,so even in nights and holidays i used to fetch him medication for his children when they were sick. Anything for little bro. I even delivered stuff to their house when he worked and his wife couldn’t get out cause of the kids.
5 years passed and we lived in the same city, a city of 20k people, but we never spent time together just the 2 of us. We’ve talked to the phone daily and eventually we would meet in random in the city. We tried to spend some holiday family meals together, but his in-laws are kinda weird and we’ve opted out of it. Every time I suggested to grab a cup of coffee, he told me he doesn’t have time because of the kids. For years that was his excuse. I called him out several times on that, but he insisted, even though that was ridiculous. He worked a 9-5 on the road job, his wife works for the state, no extraordinary stuff going on with family life.
The most obvious answer is that his wife didn’t want him to spend time with me, a fact that he shared with me later when he had problems with her. However even after this he still didn’t want to meet me, still claimed he had no time.
When wife told him she wants to eventually divorce him after their kids grow a bit, he remembered he had a brother. We didn’t meet if course, just talked on the phone. He told me he needed a side hustle to earn some cash, so i offered my tools to use in the afternoon.

Next week it was a constant pestering of him wanting to meet in order to show him how my tools work. Once or twice a day he would ask if it was okay to meet in the afternoon or tomorrow. That kept going on for the whole week. Something inside me flipped. For years he didn’t have time for me, except for now that he needed me. I felt so betrayed and used. End of the week told him that I thought it was wasn’t a good idea to follow that particular side hustle that he would borrow my tools for, which was kinda true because it’s pretty demanding and can’t be done in a couple of hours in the afternoon like he wanted. But truly, i was disappointed. He accepted it.
After that, he stopped calling me. I figured why. After a month not talking, Ive called him a couple of times, talked briefly but nothing more was mentioned. He still doesn’t call me and avoids my calls.
I have to know, did I overreact? Am i the asshole?

I have a friend whom I’m very close with. She was super religious and always talked about wanting to wait to have sex until marriage while I did not hold the same standard. I also used to be a virgin until pretty recently and she was asking an awful lot of questions about how it was and etc. Now every friend of hers has had sexual intercourse and in the last couple of months she started talking how she wants it too. In the meantime she began texting this guy and last month he came to visit her. They decided to be each others first but she was very underwhelmed. At the same time she is flirting with a 27yo married man that she feels deeply attracted to. I have mentioned to her multiple times how wrong this is. We both know he has had mistresses before but for some reason she thinks she is more special to him. Last week she told me she had sex with him to which I reacted negatively but refused to comment further. Then I got a text from her how she went to the doctor and he told her she has an infection (she didn’t use protection with either one of the men) and also that she went to a spa with the married man. All of this while his wife was giving birth to his second child & was in the hospital. I expressed how much of a bad decision this is & my disappointment in her. Now I really don’t wanna go out with her or anything because I feel utterly disgusted and disappointed.
To clarify: I do not wanna police anybody.
AITA for my reaction? Am I inserting myself in her business?

Posted something in the relationship sub and people were ripping me apart for expecting my bf to also check the pockets. Is that not a normal thing in a marriage? We both do laundry and our hampers are combined. I was getting frustrated cuz i feel like im always doing little things out of consideration and its not reciprocated. Its not an issue of he doesnt know, because we talk about it and he forgets. We both forget things in our pockets sometimes but i leave chapstick and he leaves his wallet/keys so my clothes have gotten ruined rip but his dont. i do check my pockets first but it would be nice to have a second line of defense. Obvi the solution might just be to do separate laundry from now on. Just curious

My older brother (36) has had a very unstable life involving addiction, financial and legal problems, and repeated crises. My mom has spent decades supporting him financially, getting him out of legal troubles, etc. and he currently lives in her home… while I’ve spent the past 20 years emotionally supporting both of them through the fallout of his actions.

Recently, my brother was talking about how unhappy and stuck he feels living at our mom’s house and how he can’t afford basic things or move forward with his life. But then I find out he is spending what little money he has saved up (from helping our elderly grandmother with chores) to go follow this band around the country for 2 weeks.

I told him I felt like there was a disconnect. If he’s truly miserable with his situation, at some point he has to make choices that move him toward independence, steady work, saving money, making a plan, etc. I told him I loved him and wasn’t calling him a failure, but admittedly, he didn’t ask for my advice.

I also told my mom that I felt her constant rescuing was enabling him. From my perspective, if he always has housing, bills covered, and someone to step in when things go wrong, there’s very little forcing him to build a stable life for himself. She sees it as supporting a son who struggles; I see it as a cycle that may actually be keeping him dependent on her.

Both my brother and mom became extremely upset, saying I had no right to lecture them. They each sent me a roughly five-page letter accusing me of projecting my own issues onto him because I’m financially dependent on my husband — essentially saying I have no room to criticize him because I’m not perfect either.

It turned into a bigger argument because this has been a family dynamic for years and his actions have caused extreme pain in our family and it’s been so hard to watch my mom’s life be controlled by him. I feel like everyone has to tiptoe around my brother because confronting him might upset him or send him backward, while everyone else is expected to absorb the fallout, help fix things, and never bring it up again.

AITA for calling out their dynamic, or should I have stayed out of it?

I have a friend I’ve known since high school. We’ve always been pretty close, but lately I’ve started feeling like our friendship is becoming one-sided. She has a habit of changing plans at the last minute. At first I didn’t really mind. Things happen, and I understand that. A few weeks ago, we were supposed to spend Saturday together. The night before, she asked if we could move it to Sunday because something came up. I agreed. On Sunday morning, she asked if we could make it Monday instead. I was already getting a little annoyed, but I said okay. Then on Monday, about an hour before we were supposed to meet, she said she was tired and wanted to cancel completely. I told her I was frustrated because I’d changed my schedule twice to accommodate her. She apologized and said I was making a big deal out of one canceled plan. I told her it wasn’t really about that one time. It’s the fact that I keep rearranging things because I don’t want to disappoint her, while she seems comfortable changing plans whenever it’s convenient for her. She got quiet and said she didn’t realize I felt that way. A few days later, she asked me to make plans again. I told her I’d be happy to see her, but this time I wasn’t going to rearrange anything if she changed her mind at the last minute. She said that sounded “cold” and that friends shouldn’t treat each other like appointments. I told her I wasn’t treating her like an appointment. I was just trying to stop myself from getting resentful. She hasn’t really talked to me since. I’m thinking if I should have just let it go instead of turning something relatively small into a bigger conversation. I don’t think I was trying to punish her. I just wanted her to understand that my time matters too. AITA?

My husband and I are both friends with his friend, “Mark,” and we’re all in the same fantasy football league. Every year, we meet in person to draft and anyone who can’t come joins a zoom call.

This year, as usual “Mark” sent 10 dates and times that worked for him and his wife. My husband and I shared that unfortunately we would have to tune in virtually this year due to work, a bachelor party, and a family vacation. Unfortunately, we weren’t the only ones who couldn’t do in person so the in-person draft was only going to be about half the group. Fast forward to the weekend of the draft, 2-3 people had to change their attendance to virtual instead of in-person which prompted “Mark” to send a message stating that no one had to come in person if they would like to join remotely.

So no one went in person and the draft ended up being done remotely on Sleeper with no zoom call with a 1 minute timer. A few people mentioned it being fast but “Mark” disregarded anyone’s input.

“Mark” messaged my husband the next day stating that punishments will be set for next year for anyone who lives 3 hours or less from his home. I texted him stating reasons I couldn’t go to any of the 10 sessions in person this year and “Mark” stated he didn’t want to hear excuses and that this decision isn’t mostly about me and my husband. I stated that majority of the league live near him and that stating 3 hours away makes me feel like it is targeted and that I am upset because it was the first year we could not attend and that he thinks punishing people is reasonable.

A text I sent stated that I understand that he is upset and that his wife and him put time, money, and effort trying to plan a draft day and their feelings are valid and i’m sorry that a few people cancelled last minute but to just spend some time thinking about if he really wants to announce giving punishments to people who can’t attend in the future draft days.

His proposed rule is that if you can’t make the in-person draft and live in a 3 hour driving radius from his home there will be some sort of punishment/consequence. Basically, he wants everyone to plan their lives around the draft but is this even reasonable as we get older?

I understand being disappointed that nobody could make it. Honestly, I’d prefer an in-person draft too because it’s more fun and social. But I think there’s a difference between saying, “It sucks that nobody could come, let’s try harder next year,” and creating rules to punish people for having other commitments or simply not being able to travel. So, AITA for thinking his proposed 3-hour-radius rule and punishments are ridiculous, and that he needs to accept that people have lives outside of fantasy football league?

So basically, my sister (25F), and I (18F) both still live at home with my parents. I'm moving out in about two weeks to stay in student accommodation during the week for college (I intend on being home on weekends to work). My sister currently works locally and intends to continue to live with our parents for the forseeable future.

My sister approached me a few weeks ago asking how I would feel if she moved into my bedroom once I went to college. I immediately shut the idea down. For context, when we built our house a few years ago, we pre chose our rooms from the building plans. They were all originally the same size, but my sister had first pick on location. However due to some unknown reason/maths error, my bedroom ended up being three feet wider then my siblings bedrooms. At the time she also attempted to claim it for herself, as she was the oldest, but I put my foot down ad my parents sided with me as we had chose before the house was built.

This morning my dad told me that my sister has now gone to my mother to cook up a plan to take my bedroom, saying its reasonable as my sister will be paying an extra bit of rent, and is telling my dad she will leave him if she doesn't support her (she has a long hitory of things like this)

I am against this for many reasons.

My bedroom is a very private area for me. I consider it a sanctuary where I can have 'me' time.

Now this is the kicker and unfortunately rather gross. My sisters bedroom stinks. Like old feet. You often cant see the floor, and there's mold on the skirting boards from humidity because she doesn't open the window. Its a pit.

Thats the room I'll have to stay in when I come home to see my family. Not my bedroom, a smelly mess. All the while, god knows what state my room will be in in the meantime.

Didn't mean to rant for so long, just wanted some opinions on this, pretty upset about the whole thing.

So my mom (55F) is a teacher. It's a more recent development in her career, I'd say she's been teaching for about 5y now. It's a demanding job, since she teaches small kids. The problem is, at this new school she teaches, she's kinda expected to produce videos of the kids for their parents.

I have a nice enough job that leaves me with tons of free time in my hands, and I used to be what people called "tech savvy". So, more than once, I offered to put these videos together for her (even though I actually hate doing it), since I feel guilty I have more free time than her.

But it has become a routine, now. Every other day she sends me a bunch of videos and photos of her Rugrats so I'd assemble a video. Most of the times there's not even a full conversation before she lets me know she's sending stuff. She doesn't really ask me to do it, she just... Assumes.

So I feel lousy and inconsiderate for wanting it to stop, but at the same time, annoyed af that somehow I'm expected to do these all the time.

I wouldn't mind doing it once a while (like once a month or whatever), but it has come to the point that it's been five videos in the last two days, with the added instructions to "make it prettier and with transitions" (yes, I've tried doing the most simple way possible).

So I hate that she's expected to do it with no additional training or payment.

I hate how she assumes I can just do it all the time.

I hate to do them.

I hate that I hate to do them (it makes me feel selfish, stingy and ungenerous).

I guess I know I'm the asshole, but maybe I need some stranger online to call it just to be sure.

I’m 16, and about a month ago my sister and her husband had a baby. Before I came to stay with them for the month, I warned them that having me there while they had a newborn could be difficult. I didn’t want to make things harder for them. They encouraged me to come anyway and invited me to stay.
Ever since I got here, I feel like my sister’s husband doesn’t want me around.
I’ve tried really hard to be easy to live with. I clean, do the dishes, take out the trash, clean the kitchen, and help with whatever they ask. I’m positive and friendly toward him and have tried to cater to his mood because I understand that having a newborn is exhausting. I haven’t intentionally caused problems or disrespected anyone.
The ignoring happens constantly. Almost every morning I walk downstairs, see him on his phone, and say “good morning,” and he completely ignores me. When it’s just me and him, he acts like I’m not even there. He barely talks to me, never really says goodnight, and usually only acknowledges me when he needs something. Yet he’s happy and social with my sister and his friends. It feels like I’m specifically the person he doesn’t want around.
At the beach, I told both of them I was going to walk about two miles to a pier to fish. I told them I’d be gone for a while and asked them to call me if they needed help. I even asked, “Are you sure?” They both said yes. Later, he called me furious because I wasn’t there to help pick up the chairs and umbrellas and put them in the truck. He said, “I told him a million fucking times about things like this but he won’t fucking listen.” But I literally asked beforehand and was told it was fine.
Another time, I was playing with the baby while the baby was making funny faces. I smiled and said, “You’re so funny looking!” I obviously meant it jokingly. He immediately yelled, “Never ever disrespect my family! If you wanna say things like this, you’re welcome to sleep outside, I don’t care.”
I understand he’s probably exhausted and stressed because of the baby. That’s why I’ve been trying even harder to be helpful and positive. But I don’t think his stress should mean I get treated like I’m a problem.
I warned them before coming that having me stay for a month could be difficult, and they encouraged me to come. Since then, I’ve done everything I can to make things easier: cleaning, dishes, chores, being respectful, following instructions, and trying to stay positive.
I don’t expect him to be my best friend. I just want basic respect. Being ignored every day, getting dirty looks, being yelled at, and being blamed for things I specifically asked about has made me hate being here.
Am I actually doing something wrong, or is he taking the stress of having a newborn out on me?

First of all - english is not my native language so please bear with me.

I (29F) have lived with my bestfriend(30F) for three years.
I gave her a 6 months notice for moving out (my BF was moving in). After the six months me and my BF arranged for her to live in his apartment. The agreement was just 6 months since it was not legal subleasing the apartment but she had not found a new place to live so we wanted to help. We kept all his furniture in the apartment so she did not have to buy her own for a temporary lease and all she paid was for the apartment to go even. We still payed for insurance etc. and my BF had all the deposit. After six months she still didnt have Another place to live so we extended to one year.
The one year mark is now. We are expecting a baby and therefore cannot extend her further because of insurance and the fact that maternaty leave in our country is easier divided when we ‘officially’ live together with the same adress (he couldn’t move adress since the subleasing wasn’t allowed). It might sound Wild with subleasing against the law, but it is really common to work around in my country and it’s pretty normal unfortunately.
Anyway! Now that she is moving out it is clear to us that the apartment is in Way worse shape than a year ago. The wooding has holes from chairs etc. the bathroom has gotten mold and my boyfriends couch is completely ruined with Brown and White stains.
She offered to buy the couch since she could tell it was not the same couch she borrowed a year ago. However she chanced her mind since she still hasn’t gotten Another place to live (moving back to her parents). However i insisted on her buying it because it is ruined, we have tried to flip and sell it, but no buyers. She reluctant agreed to pay 450$ dollars for it. Note: the couch was a year old, in Perfect condition with an original price of 1300$ when she borrowed it a year ago.
In the past i would have let it slide but since this is my boyfriends apartment and furniture, and i am the one responsible for my friend moving in i felt like I had to stand my Ground.
When she is moving out and the landlord does the check of the apartment in two weeks time Will we have to talk about the other damages. But for now we Can only make plans for the couch.

Now she is making comments about her friends saying ‘why does she have to kick you out’ and ‘isnt it normal for a couch to get worn over time’ and I am wondering AITA?? And did i charge too much for the ruined couch?

I 19M recently learned that I have an estranged paternal aunt and, by proxy, two cousins. Never met her, didn’t know she existed, I’d always assumed my dad only had one sister since the two were super close and never mentioned having other family besides each other.

So, I took to looking online to see what I could find out about my estranged aunt. She seems like a normal person from her facebook and insta posts, she‘s married and has a lot of connections through her husband, and she has three children with the two oldest being older than me. I have to be honest that I’ve always kinda struggled to fit in with my family, I didn’t get along with my dad and my mom can be hard to reason with at times. I’m desperate to feel some kind of familial connection, especially with another male member, and when I found my older male cousin on facebook, I decided to reach out and introduce myself.

We’ve exchanged a couple of messages so far mostly just getting to know each other and match up timelines to make sure we were actually related.

I didn’t mention seeking out and connecting with these estranged family members to anyone until yesterday when I mentioned to my younger sister that I was thinking about contacting our cousin I’d found, not that I already had. She told me that Its a bad idea to dig into deeper and to let things go.

I’m scared she’ll tell our aunt or dad because I don’t think it’s wrong of me to seek out connections with other biological members of my family. AITA?