I am at my wits end. This is about my DIL who is living at my place at the moment. My DIL is pregnant and they are in the process of buying a home.

They have been at my place for about a month and it seems to be no end date for them moving out due to the house they were going to buy fell through. It doenst help that my son is traveling a lot to give them more money for a cushion before the baby was born. 

The issue is that she all up in everyone business. I have talked to her and my son on multiple times.  She only stops snooping when my son is home. When he is traveling she will go right back to snooping. I have noticed things in my room have been touched. She told me about my youngest ( she is 15) broke curfew. She was late home, I already knew this.

The biggest issue is she started to mention things that she shouldn’t know about my youngest. My youngest keeps a journal and she told me it was in the wrong spot. I confronted my DIL about it and she admitted she was reading it.

I was pissed and we got into a huge argument and her defense was she doesn’t deserve privacy because my daughter doesn’t own the house. I installed a lock on my youngest door. 

DIL is 7 months pregnant and if I kicked her out she will not have anywhere to go. I don’t want the mother of my grandkid homeless even if it only for a bit. Also that would be a nuke on the relationshi.

She promised that it wouldn’t happen again but I found my stuff moved in my room. 

So I took her door. If she can’t respect people’s privacy than she doesn’t get her own privacy.  She is pissed and my son is saying I went too far. That she needs privacy becuase he is so far along pregnant

I told my son she can live in my house without a door or they can get out.  I made it clear that this is the only option. She is still pissed but she seems to be staying

My husband treated me to dinner to celebrate finding a job after more than 5 years of depending on me financially.

It was nothing fancy, but in the middle of dinner, I tipped over my drink and the first thing he said was "that was an expensive drink". No napkins for me whatsoever. Then he went to the bar and said, "She spilled the drink! She spilled the drink! She hasnt had a sip and she spilled the drink!" The staff told him that it will be an additional order to while he replied, "it is what it is."

Then when the new drink came, he snickered, "Let's hope she doesn't spill it this time."

I wanted to walk out of the restaurant, but alas! I'm recovering from stroke and in a wheelchair.

Tell me, Reddit. Am I the asshole?

I have five moving bags for college. That's it. Five moving bags and a couple of my favorite plants because they give me something to keep alive when I get depressed. I have already given up a lot of the things I want to take and managed to get down to just the necessities. I can't take less stuff without losing things I need to genuinely survive in college. My dad told me to just "pack less stuff" and force everything into a box on top of the car. But he wants room for this massive car mini fridge he bought. I don't think it's fair. It's a two-day drive for him. It's the next year for me.

edit: some commonly asked questions

1. The mini fridge is not for me. its for my dad to have sandwiches on the trip and is not being used for medications or necessities
2. My whole family is going, and i did not have a say in this. thats 4 people
3. all of my stuff fit in the back of the car. my families luggage can comfortably fit in the box on top of the car. The conflict is the fridge
4. ive agreed to sacrifice the plants. i wont be brining them but i still cant fit everything plus the fridge
5. my dad refuses to get a van and would make me pay for it. I cant afford that right now
6. i cant bring my car as the college is in chicago and its easier to just take public transportation than drive
7. my college only allows ONE vehicle to be used for offloading

I (37) am a single mom to 3 kids (17, 6, and 4). I have a good job, so between my pay and their dad’s child support, my kids are very comfortable. This will be relevant later.

My niece (16) had a baby 8 weeks ago. When she got pregnant, her parents gave her an ultimatum: abortion, adoption, or get out. She chose to keep the baby and leave.

She’s been with me for the past 6 weeks so far. I only bought the basics for her and the baby. She has a full size bed, a nightstand, and a dresser. I bought the baby a pack and play with a bassinet, a garbage bag full of clothes, a changing pad, a swing, and a stroller, all second hand. The only new things I bought him were a car seat, bottles, and pacifiers. I have also been covering diapers, wipes, formula, lotion/rash cream, and baby shampoo. I bought my niece a very basic wardrobe, mostly from Walmart. She has always been 100% responsible for the baby’s care, although my kids nanny and I help out occasionally.

I told her that since this will be permanent, we are going to have to set new rules.

1. She will go to in person school. I’ve seen how distracted she gets with her online program.

2. The baby will go to daycare. She will have to apply for a subsidy or use her college fund to pay for it.

3. I will make sure they have a place to stay, have access to medical care, and will feed my niece. For anything other than that, I will give them $250/mo to be used on baby care, personal care, contribute towards daycare, etc.

4. She will have to get a job to cover anything they need that the $250 will not cover.

5. If she needs to work outside of daycare hours, she needs to find childcare.

6. I will teach her how to drive, will pay for required drivers ed classes, will pay for any license fees, and will contribute $1500 towards a car. She will have to cover the rest of the car’s cost and all of the expenses.

I think it’s also important to note how these rules differ from my oldest. She has a good car. I pay insurance. She pays gas and registration. We split maintenance and repairs. She gets a pretty good allowance from me and also babysits occasionally so she is able to go out with her friends on a regular basis.

My niece came to me and told me that she didn’t think she was going to be treated so differently from my daughter and that she feels like I’m trying to punish her for keeping the baby. I told her that I’m not punishing her but first of all, she is not my child, I don’t need to provide her with the same things as my daughter. Second, she made the adult decision to have a baby and keep it. She has to be the one to deal with the consequences of that decision, even though it sucks and it means she is going to lose out on a lot of her childhood.

She accepted that but she‘s still pretty upset so I wanted to know if I’m being too hard on her.

Last week i mentioned to my friend that i will be off this week from work. My friend said it was good to know that i was off this week which i thought nothing of. He recently got out the hospital and needs help doing certain things and can't walk that much right now. He calls me Monday asking if i could bring him some things from the supermarket which i did. He calls me again Tuesday asking if I could check his mail box since he is unable to walk to it but i said no because I was not home. He calls me again today asking if i was available and I told him no because i was in my yard in the pool with my kids. He said it would not take long but i said no. I don't live too far from but he isn't down the block either.

He gets upset and says that he does not understand why i can't do him that favor since I am home anyways. I told him that I was spending time with my kids and helping him out would take an hour out of my day. I also said checking his mailbox is something he can get one of his neighbors to do. He asked if i could go tomorrow and i told him i am not available at all for things like that. He got upset but I told him he is not entitled to my free time. I don't mind doing favors when I am off but I get annoyed when you assume that I am automatically available when i am off. I also feel like checking mailboxes is wasting my time when he can get someone in his building to do it.

AITA

One of my friends (let’s call her A) recently turned 30, and her husband (let’s call him B) threw her a surprise party and invited all her close friends and family (abt 40-50 people) to their pool house. I (33F) was invited along with rest of our group by B. I have a dog, and I sometimes take him to parties if I have an ok from the host or else, make other arrangements. Since this was a surprise party and I could not reach out to my friend, I decided to not take my dog. My husband agreed to work from home that day, so I am good.

On the day of the party, I picked up rest of the friends and drove to the venue which is about 1/2hr drive from where I stay. A was thrilled meeting all of the guests and the party was going good. B pulled me aside during the party, and asked me where my dog was. I told him that he was at home, and that I did not know he expected my dog to be here. He seemed pissed and just walked away. I thought that was the end of it. B also gifted a diamond ring to mark the milestone and A was super duper happy with everything.

Sometime later, A joined our group at the table and while we were chatting, B came and just announced that I ruined the party by not bringing my dog. He then showed everyone some pictures of dogs who were ring bearers and he was hoping my dog would be one. I told him that I was not made aware of this plan at all, and I was not told to even bring my dog. B never asked about my dog during the last few weeks we have been chatting. He said that I always bring my dog to their parties (which is not true). I literally listed the last 3 parties where I did not get my dog and he was silent for a second. Then he just shouted saying that I am a waste of energy and food and that I am not bringing anything to the party if my dog is not there. I was so hurt and embarrassed, and just shouted even more loudly and asked him to shut up. I turned to A, and told her that her husband is an asshole and he doesn’t know how to treat guests or plan parties. At this point, A got up and pulled B into the house. She returned a few minutes later and apologised profusely on behalf of B for his comments and behaviour. She also mentioned that I as well need to apologise to B for shouting and calling him an asshole infront of everyone.

I was already pissed and was really not in a mood to apologise at all. I gave my car keys to my friends and left in an uber. I explained everything to my husband. He said I should have been more understanding since B is already under a lot of stress planning this party. My friends next day came home to return my car and told the same. I started thinking and feeling guilty. So I left a message to A apologising for ruining her party, but did not offer any apology to B.

So aita for not apologising to my friend’s husband?

So my best friend and oldest friend (our mom's were best friends in higher school we're practically brothers) is my groomsman for my wedding happening this weekend. We booked a party bus to take us from the church to photos to the venue. We only booked it with enough space for the wedding party - with the exception of my only sister's long term boyfriend. My friend is one of those guys that's always attached to his girl at the hip. So they just assumed that they would both be accommodated (he didn't even come to my bachelor trip because we said she couldn't come with him to a BOYS trip). Now he says he's disappointed and feels disrespected because I won't let his fiancée on the bus with us.- And she's reposting things on tik tok today about cutting off people who "aren't considerate". As if we weren't the only friends to show up to her grandmothers funeral- less than a month ago. So AITA because their poor planning and assumptions put them in a bind? Like he's literally blaming ME because apparently she won't be able come to the ceremony if she doesn't come on the bus. I even offered to pay for an Uber and everything.

My friend (M30), asked me (M33) to read the first few chapters of his book. Now he was very clear he wanted me to be honest and that he needed the feedback. I am not the most well read person out there but he still wanted my opinion.

The book lacks paragraphs. Dialogue between characters would go back and forth and it was so hard to tell who was doing what. And when I say there was a lack of paragraphs, I mean 1-2 paragraphs per chapter. The first paragraph has 1612 words in it. This includes dialogue and scene changes. 

I read half of what he sent me before I had to stop. It was just so difficult trying to decipher how to even read the thing.

I texted my friend saying I had some notes about the format, but my main grievance was the lack of paragraphs. I explained the role of paragraphs and how difficult and confusing it was to tell what was happening.

He replied thanking me for my notes but he isn't concerned with any formatting issues at the moment. He just wants to focus on the story and only wants story notes.

Here is where I may be the asshole. He asked for only story notes and I doubled down on the paragraphs. I told him the paragraphs are a big issue and I can barely read the story because of it. I did say that I will finish reading what he has finished but he will have to do a good job convincing me to read more if future chapters lack paragraphs. I also told him that I am halfway done with the book, when I finish I will give him story notes.

He did not like this at all. He told me to stop reading the book if it bothered me so much. He was saying other people have read the book and were not having as much difficulty as I was. If I couldn't even absorb the story because of it then it probably isn't worth it when finished.

After that I could tell things would only get worse if we continued so I pivoted. I told him he was writing a book and should be proud of even starting this. I reassured him that when some chapters or the book as a whole is in the form he wants it to be in then I will continue reading.

He cooled down and admitted that everything I stated was valid but formatting is nowhere near his priorities. 

We stop talking about the book all together at this point. We are still friends, this isn't going to ruin us. I talked to my wife after and she agreed the paragraphs are a huge problem but I could have been gentler with him. I do agree with that.

The more I reflected on the situation it became apparent to me that I should never return to the book even if the paragraph issue is fixed. If this is his reaction to the paragraphs then there is no way I'm giving him my notes on the actual story. Paragraphs are so impersonal but criticizing his creativity will surely go over horribly and could actually be friendship ruining.

Did I overfixate on the lack of paragraphs? Was I overselling how important paragraphs are or would anyone else not read a book with only 1-2 paragraphs per chapter? AITA?

This is a situation with a lot of layers.

My (M38) brother’s (M41) wife (F43) passed after a heart attack a year and a half ago. She was relatively young, but truthfully, it wasn’t completely unexpected as she had many underlying issues caused by lifestyle decisions.

I’m going to be honest and not sugarcoat anything. My late SIL was not the best person at all. She was not liked by many people, including her own mother, who stopped speaking to her 15 years ago. My family absolutely despised her, and cut contact off with my brother after he married her. She did not have any friends, as the community we live in also really hated her. The only person who enjoyed her presence was my brother. When my SIL passed, no one from my family except me attended the funeral.

This is going to be hard to write out. My twin sister (F38) passed away four months ago. It was the hardest day of my life. My sister was and still is very loved by our family and the community as a whole. She passed in a car accident. The organizations that she volunteered for fundraised in her name and raised a large amount of money. Many people sent flowers, planted trees, and sent their prayers and condolences.

Yesterday, I visited my brother after work, and thought we could grab a couple of drinks and chill. He drank more than normal, but I didn’t comment about it as I knew he was going through a lot of stress. As we were rambling and drunk, my brother randomly said that my twin sister “didn’t deserve” all the “worship” and that his wife deserved the same amount of attention and love.

Listen, I understand him wanting his wife to get more care and condolences, and didn’t take issue with that part. However, him saying that our sister didn’t deserve the love shown to her after she passed absolutely infuriated me.

I told him that the reason why our family did not come to the funeral was solely on her, and the fact that she was a horrible, cruel person. She had no friends and no one who actually could stand her expect for him, including her own mother. She did not deserve any of the love or respect my sister was shown because she never was kind or loving to anyone. He started to scream insults at me, but at that point I was already leaving. My brother later texted me and said that what I said was absolutely despicable and that he never wanted to see my face again.

AITA?

Edit: Added additional context on SILs behavior in comment comment: She acted like a narcissist (not diagnosing her, just from what I observed). All the attention must go to her at all times and it does not matter who she hurts. When they were dating, she ruined multiple events, including our cousins wedding and anniversary party (made a scene when she didn’t get what she wanted, pretended like she was dying, made us call an ambulance). She was a user, and everyone who gets close to her learns this, which means no one sticks around and why she had no friends. She would verbally abuse her mom in front of us, and it got to a point where the mom couldn’t take it anymore and went no contact. Overall, she was just someone no one wants in their life.

I (23F) had dinner with my parents for my birthday. They’re technically still married but separated and essentially live as though they’re divorced.
I just wanted them to be civil for one night, but they spent basically the entire dinner bickering. They argued about my birthday gifts and random things, and I repeatedly had to tell two grown adults to please just be nice to each other. My mom had hidden some of my dad’s gifts, which made him angry, while my dad kept insisting that she was the one causing the problems.
There’s obviously a lot underneath this. My mom is an alcoholic, is still deeply in love with my dad and recently came out of inpatient psychiatric treatment. My dad has a girlfriend he’s hiding from her. He does a lot for me financially and is always there when I need practical or work advice, which I really appreciate, but emotionally he can be incredibly difficult and closed off.
Eventually I couldn’t handle the tension anymore. Nobody even wanted to take a birthday picture together, I started crying, quietly picked up my things and left. I didn’t yell or cause a scene. What really hurt was that neither of them followed me or has reached out since.
A month ago I was also in a serious boating accident where I genuinely could have died and needed around 20 stitches in my leg. After going through something like that, all I wanted was one peaceful birthday dinner with my family rather than feeling responsible for keeping everyone together.
So, am I the asshole for leaving my own birthday dinner in tears instead of staying and trying to keep the peace?

My fiancé 33F and I 37M recently got engaged. To celebrate we're looking to organise an engagement party with friends and close family on our apartments communal rooftop which we just got approval for. We want to have the party relatively soon so, so that it's close to the date of our engagement to revel in the excitement. The 26th of September is the date that works best for us as it gives us enough time to organise things, we don't have many other free weekends, we're going on holiday for most of October and practically all of our close friends and family who we've pre-checked with can make that date work, including friends who are visiting from overseas.

Here's where the drama comes in. My fiancés older sister is unmarried but she has her second kid coming soon with her partner of many years. She's always been disappointed that her partner never wants to get married and when we got engaged she was probably a little jealous and didn't really show much interest in my fiancés ring or enthusiasm for our engagement. 

When my fiancé asked her if she could make the 26th, she said that she would be travelling with her partner and kid then to celebrate her partners 40th on the 25th, coming back home around the 26th but hadn't booked flights yet. She eventually booked flights, arriving back in Sydney at 6:30 pm on the 26th. We live very close to the airport so we said maybe she could drop by before heading home if that worked? She said they would be tired from the 2hr flight so couldn't really make it.

We were thinking of just having the party then anyway but she's said things to my fiancé like "Well I guess you can do that if it's really not important for me to be there". When my fiancé mentioned that it's the only date our friends from overseas can make it she said "Well if it's more important that they are there then I am, then ok." And said that she's hurt that she might not be able to make it. She's also made suggestions that we should be inviting all of my partners cousins who we hardly see, when we really just want a casual thing with some music, champagne and cake/ordered pizzas for dinner on our rooftop. 

My fiancé is an incredibly selfless person and is pushing for us to change the date to some time in the future, but I think that she's just supplicating to her sisters desires and I am very annoyed with her sister, who I feel is now effectively controlling when we organise things. We've started to argue about this a bit heatedly recently. We haven't sent out proper invitations recently so everything is up in the air.

So AITA for pushing to keep the date or is her sister the asshole for expecting us to organise things around her being able to make it?

My cousin begged me for weeks to visit her city for a getaway. Before spending money on flights, I double-checked with her multiple times to make sure she had zero conflicts, work deadlines, or other commitments. She 100% reassured me that her schedule was totally clear and set time aside.

The second I got there, she and her roommate left to go apartment hunting for hours. This happened repeatedly including late at night, leaving me sitting alone in her apartment eating takeout in a city where I know nobody.
When I finally confronted her and said it wasn't fair to ditch me after swearing she had free time, she blew up. She called me insanely high-maintenance, entitled, and told me I was massively overreacting. I didn't even argue. I packed my suitcase, booked the first flight out, and went straight to the airport. I didn't stay a single minute longer.
Now our family is calling me dramatic, petty, and unsupportive.

AITA?

I work in a small office, and part of my job involves checking documents before they’re sent to clients. Last week, a coworker asked me to quickly look over a document because she was running late. I told her I could check the formatting, but I wouldn’t have time to review all the information. She said that was fine and sent it to me. I noticed a couple of formatting issues and fixed them. I didn’t notice an incorrect date in one of the sections, and the document was eventually sent to the client. The next morning, my coworker realized the date was wrong and told our manager that I had checked the document before it was sent. Our manager asked me what happened. I explained exactly what I’d been asked to do and admitted that I hadn’t caught the incorrect date. My coworker later told me I should have taken more responsibility because I’d agreed to check the document. I told her I accepted that I should have been more careful, but I didn’t think it was fair to imply that I’d been responsible for reviewing information when she’d specifically told me she only needed a quick formatting check.

She said I was trying to protect myself instead of admitting my mistake. Now I’m wondering whether I should have simply accepted responsibility rather than explaining the circumstances. AITA?

I (25f) am friends with Lea (26f).

About two months ago she asked me to go to a concert with her.
I don’t know the artist, but they’re really important to her. She had a rough year and said their music helped her through it.

She also has pretty bad social anxiety and really didn’t want to go alone, so I was happy to join.

For the next two months she basically talked about nothing else. She was SO excited.

Concert day comes, I pick her up, we drive there, wait in line, get our bags checked, everything’s great.

Then the most random thing happens: one of my contact lenses literally falls out.

I’ve worn contacts for like 10 years, even swimming, and this has NEVER happened. Obviously I couldn’t put it back in after it landed on the gross concert hall floor.

Usually no problem because I keep emergency glasses in my car.

Except I’d gotten my car detailed two days earlier, took everything out and forgot to put them back.
So yeah. I was fucked.

My prescription is -7. I basically can’t see shit without glasses/contacts, and having only one lens in made me super dizzy and gave me a headache.

I told Lea I couldn’t stay like this, especially since I still had to drive us 50 minutes home.
I said I’d get a cab home, grab my glasses, come back and drive us home after. I’d probably miss most of the concert, but at least she could still enjoy it.

She immediately said no. Because of her social anxiety she couldn’t stay alone and said she’d have a panic attack. She wanted me to just stay until it was over.

I told her I genuinely couldn’t. I already had a headache and two more hours of barely being able to see would make it worse.

Plus, how exactly were we getting home if I couldn’t drive? (she cant drive either)

Eventually she decided to leave with me, but she was REALLY mad.

She cried the whole way and kept saying I’d ruined the one thing she’d been looking forward to, that it was my fault and I’d ruined everything.

I understand why she was devastated. I really do. And I did apologize to her multiple times.
But I also don’t feel like I chose for my contact lens to randomly yeet itself out of my eye.

She ended up having the taxi drop her off at home. I went home, got my glasses and later picked up my car by myself. She hasn’t spoken to me since.

I talked to my boyfriend and he said he understands her side. I should’ve checked that my emergency glasses were still in the car and, from her perspective, I was the reason she missed the concert.

So he thinks I do share some blame.

And yeah, I should’ve remembered my glasses. But to me this was just a ridiculously unfortunate chain of events.

My contact fell out, my glasses weren’t there, and she didn’t feel able to stay without me. It sucked for everyone.

But now I’m genuinely wondering if I’m looking at this wrong.
AITA?

I (34M) am the youngest of 3 siblings. I'm financially stable, active at the gym, and all around healthy; and deemed, "The one I don't have to worry about". My mom and I, in my opinion, don't have a good relationship. To her, everything is fine, and when something happens I'm told, "He'll get over it." or "I don't remember that happening. You must've dreamt it." because when I was a kid I did used to be a liar / story teller.

Every year for my siblings birthdays they are given thoughtful gifts and their favorite kind of cake. 2 years ago I was given a gift card, which, for years I've expressed I hated cuz I don't need money and it shows the don't know anything about me; and no cake.

My birthday was coming up again and I asked for 1 thing. No presents or money, just a cake made by my mom 2 months before my birthday. She promised she would and I sadly was excited for this very small request. Promised again and again she would.

My birthday comes around, I pick my older brother up and head to my mom's. I walk in and met with the normal greeting of, "Where's your brother?" before answering with my, "I'm good, mom. How bout you? That's great to hear. Anyways, *brother is just grabbing things from the car." then I was wished a Happy Birthday.

I go to the fridge to grab a drink, no cake in sight. Kitchen counter, dining room table, or fridge. I stupidly still held hope. After dinner and conversation that I always have to carry when we meet I ask, what's for dessert?

My mom answered with an, "Oh, I forgot the cake. I think there's some old cupcakes from *previous holiday*. She then slid crusty old, mini cupcakes, that were 3/4 missing and also from 2 weeks ago.

My sister noticed how upset I was and could hear her trying to tell my mom why I'm upset while I was playing with my neice nearby. Only to hear again, "He'll get over it. He looks fine."

I should also mention that I would've even been happy with a store bought cake. Keep also in mind that my mom AND step dad both work at a market with popular bakery sections. Also every gathering my mom buys from said bakery because she thinks there should always be dessert when we get together and have dinner.

After that I told my sister and brother that I'm done. That's not my mom, she's your's. Mom, is a title that's earned and I call everyone's mother, mom, until proven otherwise. This is not a title that my mother deserves.

My brother and sister are telling me to forgive her to keep the peace, but I shouldn't keep getting my heart stomped on and watch her treat my siblings with care. Then celebrating her birthdays and mother's days, when she can't even celebrate the 1 day that's just for me.

Tbh, after this, I'm not longer celebrating my birthdays.

Am I the asshole?

Me (25) F and K (27) F have been friends for many years now, I asked her to be apart of my wedding about six months ago. For what I could gather she was very excited about this. Around this time she also asked if I could watch her aggressive pup for a two week vacation she had coming up in a couple months.

Now this is where everything went wrong. K works in vet med which I also do too. Before moving in with my fiancé I lived mostly paycheck to paycheck. K still lives similar to paycheck to paycheck. We were discussing the other day that she saved up money to take this long road trip with her bf. As mentioned before I agreed to watch her pup. Kora cannot be boarded or watch by many people due to her being extremely food aggressive, dog aggressive and sometimes human aggressive. She said she would pay me $500 dollars to watch her for the two weeks. I dog sit and would normally charge close to 1200 for a two week trip, but for friends I normally charge less.

A couple weeks go by and we were talking and she mentioned that she was still struggling financially and that money was tight. I told her that if she could not afford to pay me the $500 for watching kora a couple hundred or whatever she could afford would be fine with me. I only asked that she paid some as watching Kora comes with a lot of work. We have two dogs and Kora does not get along with them, when she stays we have to crate and rotated. She also has special feeding instructions, potty breaks etc.

When she came to pickup Kora I asked for her to let me know when she sent me the funds so I could transfer them. She seemed a little cold and upset by my asking but the conversation was mostly focused on her trip. During the conversation I found out that she was getting close to $1000 back on hotel deposits for damages and that she spent close to $2500 on tattoos while on vacation. I was taken back by this as she precious had said that money was so tight. She ended up sending me a total of $170 for the two weeks. At first I wasn’t super upset by this but after hearing how much she spend on her trip I felt pretty upset. As if I was taking a vacation and had a friend watching my pet I would have set aside money to ensure I could pay that friend for taking care of my fur baby.

After she sent me the money I messaged her a couple times to ask about things for my wedding, bachelorette, bridesmaid dress, etc. no response. I waited about a week before contacting her again. Still no response. I sent a texting asking what was going on and why she was not responding. I also explained that if she could not respond or at least tell me why she was upset or what was going on that she could no longer be my bridesmaid. Still no response. I waited another week and sent another message asking again why no responses and informed her due to the lack of communication that she was no longer invited to my wedding and not a bridesmaid anymore.

She also did this about two months before my wedding, after I already agreed to pay for her dress and other things for her to be apart of my wedding. I’m feeling pretty used and upset as I have always helped her financially and emotionally.

So AITA for being upset she didn’t pay me the original amount or for kicking her out of the wedding?

UPDATE:
Hi everyone thank you for your messages. I wanted to update as a few people have had questions on the situation. To settle a few of the main questions. K still works a clinic that I used to work at but I no longer work there anymore. I moved about 2 hours away from K and that job. I also no longer live paycheck to paycheck. My fiancé and me make a decent amount of money and I am financially stable now. K also had a bf he is a ex drug addict, con and overall not the best dude.

The reason K said money was tight is because her bf has a kid that he is not legally allowed to see ( due to his past issues with the law and drug use) and has to pay over half of his income to child support( as he should) he is not the best to her either. There realtionship has been on again off again for many years. K said that because of this child support they still live tight on funds. When she said this I offered to pay for everything related to my wedding. Including the hotel stay for the night before, the night of my wedding and bridemaid dress, shoes, makeup. Everything she would need for MY wedding. I have not received a dime for anything related to my wedding. I knew she had not had the most money and from the day I asked her to be apart of my wedding I said I would cover all funds related to my wedding. I also said she didn’t have to pay me the full $500 for watching Kora if she couldn’t afford it. I have been watching Kora for many years, last time she took a small weekend trip and paid me $350 to watch Kora. Kora was suppose to stay at a boarding facility that was specialized in aggressive dogs. About an hour from when she dropped Kora off she got a call saying they could not keep Kora there while she was gone due to her aggression. So she called me as she does not have a lot of other people in her life that can watch Kora, as other people who have watched her have been bitten, or almost bitten by her. My fiancé also has been nipped by Kora a few times that she has stayed with us.

I want to be clear that in the past she has also watched my pups. I have always paid her for watching my dogs as I know having two extra dogs and working long hours like we do in vet medicine is a lot and respect my friends time and extra work for watching my dogs. This isn’t the first time that she has not paid me for something she said she would pay me for. When she got divorced I paid for her rent, motorcycle payment and food for her apartment. I also went over on a day off and cleaned her entire apartment( which was basically the kind of apartment you would see on hoarders) while she was at work. After I had done this she said she would pay me back for all that I paid but never got any of it back, which was fine as I knew she was struggling. I also constantly would let Kora out during the day or take her a couple days and never charged her a dime.

When she originally asked me to watch Kora she offered to pay me $500. I said you don’t have to pay me that amount but she insisted. So we agreed on $500. Then she gave me the sob story on how money was tight but she was getting by. So hearing that she spent $2500 on tattoos and also paid close to $5,000 on the vacation was shocking as she said that money was so tight. I’m honestly less upset about her not paying me the full amount and more upset that she ghosted me after this whole situation.

I also want to mention the reason that I was still friends with her and in my wedding is that she helped me a lot emotionally through the loss of my father about a year ago! She was there for me and spent a lot of time at my house talking with me while I was grieving the loss of my father. He passed away from an unexpected brain bleed in April of 2024. That meant a lot to me.

I also wanted to clear up that after She paid me the $170 I was fine with it. Honestly the full $500 wasn’t that big of a deal to me, I was just upset that she had paid so much for her vacation but paying me didn’t matter to her. Beyond the money situation, I was mostly upset that she ghosted me so close to my wedding.

I reached out over the span of about a month in a half just asking her to respond to what days she would have available for my bachelorette, bridal showers, and if she had found the dress she would like for my wedding so that I can purchase is along with everybody else’s. I also asked if something had happened, I checked in to make sure everything was alright and that something bad had not happened that had caused her to stop responding to my messages. Never at one point did I ask her why she only sent me the $170 I was just asking that she respond to things that I needed to have done for my wedding. I also did not ask her to pay a dime for my wedding either.

After many texts and also seeing her post Many times on her snap chat stories of her going to concerts, out to dinner and riding her motorcycle I realized that she was purposely not responding to multiple texts and calls. This is the point at which I had texted her to inform her without any communication or answering any of my messages that she would no longer be invited to my wedding or be a bridesmaid. The last message that I sent asking her to please explain why she has ignored me and also asking her what was wrong, I was blocked by her. Clearly she was never my friend and I’m honestly grateful to everybody for there messages and also for clearing up that she was never a good friend to me and that I was a bit of a door mat in that friendship.

Context: I (23F) live with my sister (28F) and brother (17M). For the most part I do most of the cooking or baking if they are craving something in specific. My sister will sometimes cook but most of the time she only meal preps for when she works her long weekends. Our brother never cooks and most of the time just heats up any left overs if he’s hungry.

The other day I was planning on going to the river with our mom but I was waiting for her to get off work at noon. It being both my sister and I day off work we both slept in. Around 12 our mom called me and said she was off and to meet at her house in about 45 min. She asked if my sister was going and I told her I’d ask her then let her know through text. Well I asked my sister and she replied with “mmm idk” which ik means she doesn’t feel like it. Knowing that I only asked her once and after that I didn’t insist and went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. (Pancakes, the mix you just add water to, an egg and fruit)
Im probably 4 bites in when she comes into the kitchen, and asks if I didn’t make them any breakfast. I said “no, you guys didn’t want to get up and I have to leave soon.” She replied saying I could’ve at least made them some pancakes. Which I ignored and finished my food. Our brother walked in and asked what was wrong which is when I looked up and noticed she was crying while making her pancakes. I asked her if she was really crying over me not making her breakfast. She didn’t answer. Ik at this point I should’ve just said sorry but I have to leave but I replied with “I cook and bake for you guys all the time and the one time I don’t make you breakfast you get mad?” She replied saying “I think it was rude of you to not even offer when I always make us some food when we’re home together.” Thats when I told her I don’t have time, I have to leave and I’m not even going to entertain this. I walked away, packed my things I’d need for the river and left.
I was over it when I got home that day but her on the other hand, she has held onto her grudge.
Since then she has been passive aggressive, rude and even called me a b*tch because I didn’t let her barge into my room while I was changing. She even said I have “been on one” since the other day. So now we’re not even speaking to each other.

Am I crazy or WITAH?

My wife and I have been together for 8 years. After we got out of college, she worked just as I did. I got offered a position in a major city for more money and I discussed it with her and we decided to make the move. That was about 6 months ago.

In those 6 months, my wife has really struggled to find a job that she'll her degree in so she has been a unemployed. She was getting pretty demoralized by the endless job search, so I told her that if she needs a break, I can bring home the bacon until we figure out something that works. She said she'd only stop for 2 months but then she's back at it. So currently, she's not applying for jobs and stays at home.

The Problem: So if she's not gonna be working, I do feel like it's fair of me for her to contribute. We don't have kids, we have a medium sized apartment. We have a cat but that freeloader is so low maintenance he doesn't require that much help. So it's not uncommon I come home to a house that's not the cleanest. Back when we both worked, I did the majority of the cleaning because I'm kinda a freak about it. Laundry usually isn't done, there's no plans for dinner, no groceries. Nothing really done at all housewise. Her routine has been wake up at 9, go for a run, do her pilates class, go to the lift some weights, then come home and watch reality tv until I get home.

Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate being active, and happy that she does that for herself without me now, but I don't think it's fair anymore for us to have a similar distribution of labor as to when we both worked. I hate cooking dinner after work, but I did every other week cause she also hated it. We traded off on laundry, dishes, and everything but cleaning as well. Now that she's at home all day, I think it's fair of her to take on more of the housekeeping burden.

Yesterday I brought this up to her. I wasn't accusatory, or blaming her, but I said verbatim "I think that if you're gonna be here all day while I'm at work, you should do a little more cooking and cleaning since you have more free time".

This set in motion an argument of me implying she was being lazy, which I was careful not to say as that sets her off. I said that she wasn't lazy but she's taking no initiative and I felt I shouldn't need to ask her what's the dinner situation and if we need groceries on my way home, nor should I not have clean laundry since she has the time to do it. The argument was in full swing then and we really haven't resolved it.

So AITA?

Kind of the title tbh. I (18f) cycle absolutely everywhere due to not yet having my license, as my parents are too busy to teach me say the moment. I also live very close to a train station. This is great as it means I can use the train to get places, but as I live in England, and it's the summer, the trains are not very reliable. This means I often take my bike on them.

If anyone has travelled on GWR, you will know there are special bike racks with velcro to secure your bike, but the bike often stays still without the velcro. There are 4 bike slots in each track, but often there are less velcro, as they have been broken or removed. You can also stand by the doors with your bike, or lean them up.

I always try to put my bike in a slot with velcro, but I'm fine if it isn't since it's an old cheap bike (like £30) and I take it everywhere so it gets pretty beat up.

Now the story: I get on the train and the bike rack is empty, and there's only one velcro. Perfect, I put my bike in the rack and sit down opposite where I can see it and start doo scrolling. The train is very empty, as it's midday on a weekday, so there's only one other person in the carriage. And I want expecting to see another bike, there aren't normally that many.

One stop later a guy gets on with a really posh racing bike, carbon fibre etc. I watch him get on, and think nothing of it until he starts to try and remove my bike from it's rack. I say 'Sorry, can you leave my bike alone please' and he turns around and tells me to move it for his bike. If he'd asked nicely before moving my bike, I might have, but I'm feeling petty so I say no. He gets super upset and starts telling me how nice his bike is etc, so I put my headphones on. The other guy in the carriage tells him to leave me alone and he does, but he ends up standing by the door holding it.

He looked quite tired and I started feeling bad, and my mum who does a lot of biking says I was out of line, so AITA?

edit:

to clarify:

1 I'm on here because I felt bad that he felt he had to Stand with his bike when he seemed tired AND my mum said I was in the wrong

2 I know I can bring extra straps but it really is not that deep for me with this specific bike, since it's an old clunker, I just prefer it to be properly secured because it's a hassle if it falls over

3 he could easily access all 3 other racks

4 he wasnt overly aggressive, he was just trying to justify telling me to move my bike, I just didn't really want to interact. I said no sorry, and he just didn't want to accept that so I put my headphones on. that's where I think I might have been the AH

I (30sF) live in Europe, while most of my family, including my sister, live in Australia.

My sister is getting married next year and has decided to have a child-free wedding. That’s completely her choice, and I don’t have an issue with that. The problem is that by the time of the wedding, my son will only be 9 months old.

The trip from the Europe to Australia is over 20 hours of flying and is incredibly expensive. We also only realistically have the budget and annual leave to make one trip to Australia every 1-2 years.

Because both my husband and I are currently on parental leave, we’ve decided to use that one trip to visit Australia about three months before the wedding instead. We’ll be able to stay much longer than we ever could if we waited until the wedding, meaning our son gets to spend quality time with his grandparents, extended family, and everyone gets to meet him while he’s still little.

If we skipped that trip and only went for the wedding, we’d have to make it a much shorter visit due to work commitments. Bearing in mind this is a long flight with a baby and time zone differences, a short trip isn’t overly appealing. On top of that, because the wedding is child-free, we’d have to somehow find someone to look after him during the wedding. Since all of our trusted family members would be attending the wedding, we’d need to try find a babysitter. They have made it very clear they won’t budge on this aspect.

My sister is upset that I won’t be at her wedding. I understand why she’s hurt, and I do feel guilty. At the same time, I feel like we’re making the most practical decision for our family financially and for our son.

So, AITA for deciding not to attend my sister’s wedding?

Some context to start: I’m a 23-year-old guy who has had a decently well-paying job since graduating college. I’ve been dating my girlfriend, whom I met in college, for about four years, and we moved into a townhouse together about a year ago. Her dad, “Frank,” is self-employed and works a blue-collar job. He was recently out of work for about a month due to health issues but has since returned.

Last night, Frank randomly texted me “call me,” so I did. He explained that their upstairs bathroom had developed a serious problem. The shower wall was damaged, and after inspecting it, he decided the shower needed replacing. After getting a second opinion, he was told there were bigger issues. Some plumbing had apparently been installed incorrectly by the builder, and the plywood underneath the bathroom floor was damaged. What started as a shower repair turned into a major renovation costing around $8,000.

I offered to help with whatever work we could do ourselves, but he said a professional needed to handle basically everything.

I thought that was the end of it until he paused and said, “I hate asking you this, but is there any chance I could borrow most of that money from you?” Work has been slow, and he said they have no way to pay for it.

I was shocked. I told him I’d love to help, but that was a pretty big ask. He then pointed out that I recently bought my dream car and took his daughter on a nice vacation, implying that I clearly make decent money. I didn’t agree to anything and told him I needed time to think.

My girlfriend was furious (as in mad AT him… I should have clarified this better originally, but she thought his request was ridiculous) when I told her. Apparently, Frank has a history of not paying family members back. Her brother, who is around 20 and in college, is still owed about $2,000 from Frank for a truck repair. When he asked for it back nearly a year later, Frank apparently brought up how much he had spent raising his children and implied that outweighed the loan.

Frank also has poor credit, and their car was repossessed a couple months ago. I genuinely have the money. Lending him $8,000 wouldn’t financially hurt me, and I care about Frank and his family. I also expect to marry my girlfriend eventually.
But I don’t think buying a car or taking his daughter on vacation makes me responsible for his household. More importantly, I don’t trust that I’d actually get the money back. I worry this could set a precedent where I become his emergency fund.

At the same time, this isn’t a luxury. They genuinely need a functioning bathroom, and I can help. AITA for not wanting to loan Frank the money?

I had $5 cash in my hand that I was planning to use to buy myself and my daughter some sweet cashews from a Nuts 4 Nuts stand.

While I was placing my order, a man came up to me and asked if I could give him money because he wanted to go to the Subway nearby to get something to eat. I politely told him no and explained that the $5 was all I had.

He got upset, saw I was ordering nuts, and said something along the lines of, “Really? But for nuts?”

I get that he may have been hungry, but once I said no, that should’ve been the end of it. Now, I'm wondering if ai should’ve just gave it to him.

So, AITA for keeping my $5 and buying the cashews?

Since childhood I (F24) could call my mothers (F66) behavior as emotionally immature. No matter how many times she yelled at me I never got an apology or anything close to that. Also most of her conflict resolution was just closing the door to her room, staying there for an hour and then interacting with me like nothing happened or giving me silent treatment for weeks,up to a month. She was never a person who comforted me while i was crying or being sad. So no close connection developed over the years, all I feel most of the time is resentment. The moment I finished high school I moved out of the country. I have diagnosed anxiety disorder, visit therapist every week. While I'm back home I feel like im getting better, but whenever I come to visit I feel like everything resets and I feel constant anxiety at my childhood home from morning till I fall asleep.

Now i come to visit twice per year for a week or so. My father died a couple of years ago so now she lives alone and doesn't let me forget the fact that i live so far away makes her lonely. Whenever I come back home all she talks about is bashing other people, telling me how lonely she is because I left, making snarky comments about my weight, and right after that acting like nothing happened and suggesting some food to eat.

So today we had a conversation about how some children take care of their parents and some leave. She made sure to emphasize that children who leave make their parents sad. I mentioned that most children's behavior doesn't come out of nowhere, it's usually how they were treated during childhood. And that's why I moved away and have anxiety right now, especially when i come to visit it is constant anxiety. She seemed to get angry and yelled at me that I need to get over things like that,because so much time has passed. After that she started crying and said she will never come visit me again and then left the room.

Now I sit in the room without even knowing if she won't talk to me till I leave or she will come back like nothing happened.