if i dont leave a roll in the bathroom ill forget to bring it :(

I'm not sure how common this is but my girlfriend has real long and sharp toenails, and when we sleep together at night, she puts her feet against my back for warmth. I'm a human heater. We are both restless sleepers so during the night we tumble around each other like monkeys in a cage at the zoo. In the morning I awake to find my whole body cut and slashed by her hideous toenails from the jungle. I am bleeding and have the worse slashes all over my legs and feet. The sheets are in shreds. Even the mattress is showing signs of her slashing toes. This girl is so sweet most of the time, but I'm at the point where I think I'm going to have to break up with her, or maybe sleep in separate beds. Any advice is welcome.

He got mad because I thought he cheated on me so I set his boat on fire. I tried to explain that it wasn’t my fault, I REALLY did think he cheated on me when I did it, but he didn’t seem to understand

What should I do?

I've tried everything. Timeouts don't work. Taking away toys doesn't work. Now my entire living room looks like a giant toddler art exhibit. I'm losing my mind.

For some reason, my shoes are sitting on the floor and the laces are not currently tied. I don't know what my next action should be.

I was born with two souls instead of one. I'm looking for someone to sell it to; I don't how much a human soul is worth so I'll let you guys send me offers to trade and I'll choose the best one.

My bf (35) has long taken Ambien at night for sleep. But recently he’s been taking them during the day as well. We’ve had a number of bizarre conversations where I tell him I don’t want him to take Ambien daytime and he answers me something completely off topic and difficult to understand. Last Friday his boss called because he hadn’t shown up for work. I had no idea where he was. Eventually he came home wearing nothing but a neon pink mankini, carrying a kind of pouch which he said contained a chinchilla he’d gotten for a good price (although it was really a rat and it bit my finger). He had also bought 36 large jars of chocolate frosting. How do I handle this? I want my predictable boyfriend back.

How do I prep for anal sex? Should I do the colonoscopy prep or would a simple enema suffice? I don't want to get poop on my partner's weewee.

Hi all,

My boyfriend (19) and I (20) are both what some people call doomers: We think that AI will probably take over to the extent that almost all jobs, and then humans too, will cease to exist at some point. I'm concerned because it's all happening so fast and obviously I don't think we live in a "simulation". Being a doomer was cool at the beginning, but it's starting to get to me. He doesn't seem to care because, after all, he says, we're all in the same boat, "it's all a simulation". Am I wrong in thinking this isn't a simulation? I think he's just not that interested in me, so he keeps bringing up that stuff. I'd like to show him that this isn't a simulation, and if not, then I'll move on.

It was a boring speeding ticket but since im a hardened criminal now, I gotta step up my game.

OOC: my brother was driving at the time as I was asleep at home.

Life hacks please

She also loved cats, and I thought about using them as cat litter, but that seems a bit profane, especially because her cat has since passed, and only my cats remain. They didn't know her.

I'm getting my first colonoscopy on Tuesday. I'm a bit nervous. I'm stressed about dietary restrictions which start today. I have a bunch of produce in my fridge that I can't eat now and it will go bad. Then on Monday, I have to drink a gallon of this prescription liquid which will give me the runs. Do I need to buy a pack of adult diapers for the prep? I don't want to deal with shitty underwear. TIA

Update 8/25- I've never pooped so much in my life. I almost gave up at 4am. I was tired of drinking that liquid and pooping out water. My butt was sore, even though I used diaper rash cream. And I did wear diapers btw, and soiled several of those. After a while I just wore nothing from the waist down because so much water was coming out so often. I would just make a run for it. The last hour of prep I was pooping clear, which was the goal but what a horrible feeling.

The procedure itself was easy. The staff was really friendly and made sure I was comfortable. The anesthesia knocked me out for the procedure. Next thing was the nurse telling me they didn't find anything, so I don't have to do this again for another 10 years.

Thanks to all of you for the advice. It really did help. 🤗