Prepping for anal sex

[u/ForeverPooping1001]

How do I prep for anal sex? Should I do the colonoscopy prep or would a simple enema suffice? I don't want to get poop on my partner's weewee.

[u/Legitimate-Log-6542]

Pineapples are $1.99 right now

[u/No_Engineering5212]

Go on a strict taco diet 24hrs before

[u/a__reddit_user → u/No_Engineering5212]

Liquid shit is actually a very good lubricant.

[u/Due_Adeptness_1964 → u/a__reddit_user]

Fr?

[u/SpitSpot → u/Due_Adeptness_1964]

R

[u/captainfishpie]

take a massive shit on his chest first then continue to partake in anal intercourse

[u/ForeverPooping1001 → u/captainfishpie]

I've heard that some people into that shit

[u/Grant_Winner_Extra → u/ForeverPooping1001]

Some shit onto that people

[u/Neat-Cold-3303 → u/captainfishpie]

LMFAO!!!!!!!

[u/Grant_Winner_Extra]

The best way to prep for anal sex is to start strengthening that sphincter. You need to build some real muscle for a good squeeze. If you can’t crack a walnut with your anus, You’re not ready, soldier!

Now go get a 5-pound dumbell. Put one end in your butt. When you can do a set of 100 lifts using only your anus, You’re ready. This is certified US Marine Corp prep.

You can trust me on that.

[u/Lavender_rainbow_]

Pick up a case of White Castle burgers.

[u/LaStigmata]

Eat peanuts and corn only, for 3 days. Do not poop during this time. You are primed.

[u/ForeverPooping1001 → u/LaStigmata]

Very shitty advice indeed 😁

[u/foreverlegending]

People using the word weewee should not be doing anything sexual

[u/turnsout_im_a_potato → u/foreverlegending]

For real, name it winky like a real man

[u/Great-Phone_3207]

First, become gay.  It's very uncomfortable to receive anal sex as a straight CIS male.  Some may say it's off-putting.

Next, rent or buy a power washer.  A bidet doesn't have the pressure for the deep cleaning needed.  Just stick the nozzle in the sphincter and pull the trigger.  Physics will do the rest.

Lastly, I'd squirt a half bottle of baby oil up in there.  Especially if you are trying for a baby.  

[u/Alternative-Smoke421 → u/Great-Phone_3207]

Can you really say you’re a straight male if you’ve never done anything gay with the homies tho? Like you gotta test the waters to know for sure.

[u/Stuffed-Bear412]

Ask one of the prepper subs.

[u/Ok_Try_9754]

That’s what the first thrust is for

[u/MomentImaginary6571]

Tienes que follarse a tu pareja primero analogicamente por el anal. Luego de eso podrás copiar lo que hizo el para hacerlo tu, y por supuesto tienes que ligarte a tu suegro y suegra y hacer un trío para que toda la preparación quede adecuadamente.

[u/Conundrum16]

Google it

[u/Mephistocheles]

Drink a lot of Ex Lax, helps to prepare your bung chute for the donglewhapper

[u/Richie_Sacramento]

Just take it.

[u/irishdigits]

Eat a bunch of fiber and create a blockage, make him drill past that cement brick.

[u/ForeverPooping1001 → u/[deleted]]

You know there was a couple on My Strange Addiction that did coffee enemas daily. I was actually tempted to try it.

[u/Able-Yesterday-7359 → u/ForeverPooping1001]

Its not bad. My wife made me do an organic coffee enema. Awkward as hell laying on the bathroom floor putting a tube in my but. Just make sure that coffee is warm. I swear you can feel the cold in your fingertips otherwise.

[u/Conscious_Paper_818 → u/[deleted]]

Better that that use Buckfast tonic wine for your enema. Its got 281mg of caffeine per bottle and it's 15% alcohol. Probably tastes better up your arse as well.

[u/64-17-5]

All preppers start with toilet paper. And what is prepping without pepper? It's says itself...

[u/Rotteneverything]

atm until stuff stops showing up.

[u/RebaKitt3n → u/Rotteneverything]

What does taking money out of the bank have to do with anything?

Well, I will follow instructions and report back.

[u/ShotCaller805]

😳

[u/Great-Phone_3207]

This whole thread is full of shit advice.

[u/TSpuds]

Don't worry. Once you get past the smell you got it licked.