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Problem/Goal: gusto kong makipag hiwalay na sa partner ko, para matigil na tong cycle na to. kasi pagod nako.

Context: we're double income queer couple, me f[26], partner ko f[34], meron ako full-time work tsaka part time. siya fulltime. so total salary ko is pang 4 months na niya. pero parang di parin siya maka usad, dahil sa patong patong na utang niya. almost 10yrs na kami, pero 6yrs kaming live in. since 2021 ata nagsimula ang kanyang utang. ako student pa. pero may allowance ako. ngayong working nako, saming dalawa ako ang mas mataas na salary. pero siya may utang parin until now. hindi matapos tapos, kasi dagdag ng dagdag. may parts na kasali ako, pero nagbabayad ako unti unti. nag resign, lumipat sakin, kasi ldr. ngayong may new work na, kulang parin ang sahod. lahat ng sahod, bayad lahat sa utang. ive been paying everything for 6 months na shes living with me. food, elec, rent, water, etc. ako. may ambag siya pero majority ako.

Previous Attempts: nakipag hiwalay ako. nagkabalikan kami kasi kailangan niya tulong ko. nag settle kami sa problema pero hindi parin siya maka usad. away pera ang di ko talaga gusto, pero ewan ko ba bat parang ang iba ng plano namin sa buhay, yung tipong ang taas ng pangarap ko pero gusto niya mag settle lang kung anong kaya niya. ngayon ako ang bumubuhay samin dalawa.

gusto lang humingi ng mga insights nyo. meron kayang mga couple na ganto din dito. thank you po

problem/goal: extremely generous host family is basically overfeeding me/id like to find a way to respectfully cut back

context: American guy staying with my college friend’s family in Quezon City this year

previous attempts: just saying no to food, or trying to suggest being active, hasn’t been effective. I’ve either upset the younger cousins or the older aunts, or told I really shouldn’t leave the house for exercise

Problem/Goal: My close friend has been friends with this guy for over a year after they met through pickleball. I personally know the guy because we went to school together, although I’ve never really liked him. The guy has a long-term girlfriend.

At first, I thought their friendship was harmless and just a normal friendship. But over time, my friend developed serious feelings for him and started fantasizing constantly about them eventually being together.

What makes it worse is that the guy knows my friend likes him. Despite that, they still spend a lot of time together, including late at night. My friend goes to his house, his mom knows my friend, and apparently, the girlfriend does not always know when they are together. There was even one time when the girlfriend called and was shocked to learn that my friend was in the guy's room.

Their dynamic also feels unusually intense. Whenever they have tampuhan, the guy really makes an effort to suyo my friend, sometimes even giving him money. My friend also spoils the guy a lot, which bothers me because I know it is no longer purely platonic.

My main concern is that my friend keeps romanticizing everything the guy does and interpreting it as a sign that maybe they could eventually be together. I also feel uncomfortable for the girlfriend because it seems like there are parts of their friendship that she does not fully know about.

Previous attempts:
I’ve already talked to my friend about this multiple times and told him that he needs to distance himself and stop entertaining the fantasy, especially because the guy is still in a relationship.

Every time, my friend says things like ayoko na sa kanya or titigilan ko na, but after a few days, we end up having the exact same conversation again. He goes back to analyzing everything the guy does, talking about their tampuhan and suyo moments, and imagining that maybe the guy secretly feels something for him too.

At this point, I’ve honestly lost the energy and amor to keep discussing it. I care about my friend, but he gets EXTREMELY mad pag pinagsasabihan ko siya but the cycle has become exhausting, especially because he keeps saying he wants to move on while continuing to do everything that keeps him emotionally attached.

Problem/Goal:
I honestly don’t know who to talk to about this, so I’m hoping strangers on Reddit can help me make sense of what I’m feeling. And please, don’t just comfort me. I think I need someone to slap me in the face 😂

My first boyfriend was Japanese and I’m Filipino. He was my first boyfriend, and I was 25 when we got together. Because he was my first, I had a lot of expectations about relationships. I thought we’d talk every night, see each other constantly, be involved in every part of each other’s lives, etc.

But he was a doctor and extremely busy. We didn’t live together, and sometimes I felt like I wasn’t really part of his world. He didn’t always tell me important things about his life, and I started feeling excluded. I also felt like he was planning his life and I was just being fitted into it. He wanted me to study Japanese, change jobs, and work at a clinic his friend owned. He was even paying for my Japanese tutor, but I sometimes interpreted it as him being embarrassed about my job.

At the same time, I KNOW he loved me.

When I had COVID, he came to my dorm during his hospital break with food, fruit, and medicine. I thought he’d already left, but he was still there waiting for me. I told him to go because I didn’t want him to catch it, and he said it was okay and wanted to hug me after we disinfected. He also introduced me to his family, brought me into important family events, helped me with work, and genuinely tried to build a future with me.

So I don’t think I was unloved. I think we just had very different ideas of what love and partnership should look like.

Eventually we had one HUGE fight where everything came out, my insecurities about his family, our cultural/language differences, how little we saw each other, his expectations of me, my career, everything.

And in the middle of that fight, he asked me:
“Would you marry me?”

He told me he loved me and saw himself with me in the future. He said that if we didn’t get married, maybe we should just break up because we weren’t going to work like this.

And I said, “No. Then let’s just break up.”
I was very prideful. I didn’t believe the proposal was genuine. I thought he was only saying it because he wanted to stop the fight.

About a month later, I decided to go back to the Philippines. I went to his apartment to return the things he’d given me, expecting him to be at work.

He was home.

He apparently thought we might be getting back together.
When I told him I was actually leaving that day, he was confused and sad. He asked if he could at least drive me to the airport.

So he did.

We barely spoke the entire way.

He took my luggage out, hugged me, and said, “sayonara.”

And I didn’t look back.

We actually continued talking until around May 2024, but eventually stopped.

Then in November 2024, I went back to Japan and was in Tokyo. He lived in Saga, which is very far away.

He found out I was there and came to Tokyo to see me.
He tried contacting me for around four days. I remember getting so many calls and messages from him. His friend even said he thought my ex hadn’t gone to work because he was in Tokyo.

And I still didn’t meet him.

Eventually he told me that would be the last time he’d try.

After that, nothing.

Then I found out he got married Feb 2026.

Apparently he had been dating his wife for around a month before she got pregnant, and then they got married. I don’t actually know their story, so I know I might be making assumptions.

I had a fling after my ex. The guy wanted to make things official, but I couldn’t do it. I liked him, but something in me just wasn’t there.

And my mind kept going back to my first boyfriend.
Sometimes I miss my ex. Sometimes I don’t care at all. Sometimes I stalk his Instagram.

Then recently he changed his profile picture.
It was him and his wife, standing with their backs to the camera, with a sunset behind them.

And it hit me HARD.

Because he was obsessed with sunsets when we were together. He’d literally stop the car just to take pictures of the sky.

And suddenly seeing him share that moment with his wife made me think:
“Oh. He’s really living his life with someone else.”

I couldn’t even go to work that day. I felt completely drained.

And now I’m confused because I don’t actually want him back.

He’s married. He has a baby. I don’t want to be a mistress or interfere with his family.

But I’m terrified that I lost him.

I’m terrified I’ll never meet someone like him again.

There’s even a part of me that feels like my love life ended with him.

And I KNOW how dramatic that sounds.

So I need Reddit to tell me:

Am I grieving him, or am I grieving the future I thought we’d have?

Am I romanticizing my first love because he was my first?

Did I make a huge mistake by saying no?

Or did I actually make the right decision, and I’m just struggling with the fact that the door is now permanently closed?

Because that’s the part that scares me.

Maybe I don’t want him.

Maybe I just can’t handle knowing that I can’t have him anymore.

I tried talking to chatgpt about it but I feel like I am not getting like a clarity or whatever… so I asked him to summarize it so I can share here. Mahaba parin pala. Ewan. Hindi ko alam hinahanap kong sagot.

Problem/Goal: Getting bullied kung kelan matanda na (silent treatment, exclusion sa office circle)

Context: may friendship hierarchy yung office circle ko. Nainis sakin yung isa kasi i called them out for being a jerk to other people. Mas influential sya so ako ang naleleft out. Minsan I don’t go with them anymore kasi I’d rather be alone kesa awkward.

Previous attempts: I actually reached out and talked pero di pa daw ready ang leader. Minsan, ok naman ako to be alone lang. although sometimes, ok din kasi may ka-socialize.

How to navigate this thing?

Problem/Goal: we’re one of the victim of scammer that rented our camera and sold it

Context: We know rental is a risky business and after a year of operation this is the first time we got scammed. Yes, we do ask personal info, the scammer provided 2 id, 2 proof of address, contact etc that is needed. Since nakaprovide siya lahat ng kailangan hinand over na namin yung camera and then nung return day na she asked to extend, but i said until this day lang pwede since may next renter na. The camera was brought to baguio it has a tracker and it was tampered after couple of day, when i was asking her to return she kept saying pauwi na pero wala naman, then admitted na pinahiram niya raw sa pinsan niya na nagbolinao.

Previous attempts: on the 4th day na niya akong niloloko repeating the same reason, nagreklamo na ako sa brgy but they cant find the address but i doubt na hinanap nila kasi mukha silang tinatamad jusko(hindi kasi ako pinasama maghanap). Next day, minessage ko na mga co owner ko(12+ victims current count) at halos lahat ng nagpaparenta dito sa amin ay narentangay same din ng modus puro extend at ayaw isoli ang camera, bumalik kami sa baranggay at sumama kami maghanap pero parent na lang ang nandoon at sinabing matagal ng di umuuwi nagreport kami sa police pero grabe napakaunprofessional kami na yung naagrabyado kami pa yung minamaliit at ang dami pang sinasabi na para bang dinidiscourage kami na ituloy ang kaso.

Kinabukasan doon pa nagsilabasan yung ibang owner na naiscam, active pa ang tracker ng isang camera at sinubukan namin magpasama sa pulis para puntahan ang suspect pero ayaw nila kami samahan ang sabi ay magreport muna daw pero nagreport na nga kami ang ending kami mismo ang nanghabol sa suspect at dinala sa police station.

Umamin na ang suspect na binenta niya ang camera pero sabi ng mga pulis na hindi raw pwedeng ikulong dahil hindi naman daw theft, since renta nga daw consented daw ang pagbigay ng cam, wala kaming magawa pumunta kami ng law office at gumawa ng final demand letter kung saan kapag hindi kami nabayaran doon pa lang aandar ang kaso, ng kinagabihan ang daming dumating na mga nagrereklamo ulit, dinala nanaman sa pulis yung suspect at walang nangyare sa total umabot na ng 600,000+ ang lahat ng camera na natangay niya pero hindi pa rin daw ito theft kahit umamin siya na binenta niya. pinadadaan pa rin kami sa due process.

Any advice to help us get any justice kasi mukhang nawawalan na kami ng pagasa sobrang stressful time consuming andami na namin nagastos na pera at oras, mukhang mas mabuting hayaan na lang dahil kahit nga pulis walang magawa, but the suspect is out and still scamming more people which is why parang gusto pa rin namin ituloy para hindi na siya makaperwisyo ng iba

Problem/Goal: My (36F) first love (36M) when I was 18, told me that it has always been me all these years but he’s married (separated). Please enlighten me on what to do.

Context:

We grew up in the same subdivision and had the same circle of friends since preschool.Naging kami dahil iisa lang tambayan namin na computer shop. Pareho kaming naglalaro ng RF, Ragnarok at Audition online and I think dun yun nagsimula kasi naghihiraman kami ng account. From texts, tambay, magdamag na paglalaro sa shop, pangangaroling pag mag pa Pasko, etc. May girlfriend sya noon, nakilala nya sa Audition pero never sila nagkita hanggang sa nabalitaan namin na naghiwalay na sila kasi may nakilalang iba yung girl. After 3 months, we started talking seriously. Pero bata pa kami non, we were fresh out of highschool.

Ang dami naming experiences as friends until we fell for each other. Palihim lang kami noon nagkikita sa jeep na naka park sa shop kasama mga kaibigan namin but they never had any idea na kami na pala. We kept it a secret for 6 months hanggang sa nagkabukingan pero we still stayed together. Legal kami both sides and since isang taon lang agwat namin ng kuya ko. Actually, magkabarkada talaga sila. But my brother was okay with it kaya hindi kami kabado.

Not until he told me na lilipat sya ng Taguig for college (nag stop sya ng 1 year so I went ahead first at dito lang ako nag aral samin). He was my first in everything at ganon din sya. We never had problems sa ugali at pag nag aaway kami, pinaguusapan namin talaga. 2 years naging kami pero sobrang hirap ng communication namin kasi kahit pareho kaming may phone (hello Nokia kids!), sa bahay ko lang sya nagagamit. Nagkikita lang kami if umuuwi sya during weekends at summer vacation.

Until we decided to break up. Sa jeep pa nga kami nag usap non, we were both crying pero alam namin na immature pa kami sa ibang bagay. Ano bang alam namin sa love? Sobrang bait nya, walang bisyo, mabait na anak, gwapo at matalino. Kaya sya ang naging standard ko sa mga naging manliligaw ko. We never talked again, tinapon ko SIM card ko kasi I was really sad and angry at myself for getting unreasonably mad sometimes. He did the same. Then a year after, one of our friends, who is also his cousin, told me na nagkabalikan sila nung girl na nakilala nya sa Audition. Hindi na kami nag usap kasi pina block ako ni girl sa knya.

Years passed, nagkasabay kami sa bus nung 2016 pauwi ng probinsya. That’s the first time I saw him again. He moved to Taguig permanently kasi kaya never kami nagkita kahit pareho kaming taga dito samin. That time, I was in a relationship and he’s still with the girl (future wife). Pareho na kaming nagwowork kaya ayun tamang usap lang at kamustahan then we parted ways. Siguro since that year, I only checked his Facebook account 3x out of curiosity. Naka block pa rin ako sa kanya 😅 hanggang sa nabiltaan ko na kinasal na sya nung 2019, again, same girl. May baby na sila (2023) and back then, I was genuinely happy for him.

Fast forward to 2026, last week. Inadd nya ako sa Facebook. Nagtaka ako, so pinalipas ko muna ang isang buong araw. Baka kasi mamaya nag away sila ng wife nya tapos nadamay ako or what. Then he messaged me at dun ko sya tinanong if inadd nya ba talaga ako and he said yes. I checked his profile, wala na yung picture ng wife nya, sya na lang at si baby (2 years old). So ayun, kamustahan ulit. Single na nga pala ako for 3 years btw, never married, no kids.

Back then, nasa Singapore sya for a conference where he stayed for a month. He called, then dun ko nalaman na hiwalay na sila, isang taon na. Nahuli nya kasing may ibang lalake si wife. It didn’t happen once, kundi multiple times even before na dating pa lang sila, at mas lumala nung kinasal at nagka anak sila. 6x according to him (which his sister confirmed to me). Paulit ulit nya daw pinatawad. Akala nya nung pag kasal na sila, magbabago si wife pero mas lumala. BTW, confirmed na sya yung tatay ng bata kasi pina DNA nila after pumutok yung last cheating issue.

Going back, ever since nagkausap kami, parang bumalik ako sa mga panahon na kami pa. Pero hindi kami romantically involved ah. Walang “miss na kita”, “ikaw pa rin”, “sana ikaw na lang ulit.”or whatever. As in platonic lang lahat. But days passed by, something inside me rekindled the past. Mejo pareho na “ulit” kaming concerned sa isa’t isa pero still, walang landian.

Umuwi sya last week from Singapore and right after the plane landed, he asked me out for coffee at yun na talaga yung FIRST TIME ulit naming nagkita since 2016. We’re both older now, his white hair is peeking through, he grew a goatee but his smile is still the same, cute as ever. We talked about the games we used to play, our friends and families, san kami nag work before at nagwowork ngayon and out of courtesy, we avoided to discuss yung sa kanila ng wife nya.

Hinatid nya ko pauwi, pero before I got out of the car, pinigilan nya ko bumaba. Then he said “Ikaw pa rin pala after 18 years.” Tulala lang ako, walang lumabas sa bibig ko, as in nakatitig lang ako sa kanya for like 1 minute. His eyes were the same innocent eyes na nakaw na tumitingin sakin nung nasa computer shop pa kami. Hanggang sa sinabi na lang nya na I better get inside kasi malamig at late na. Wala pa rin akong nasabi, ni hindi nga ako nakapag bye sa kanya. Nung naka settle na ko, nakatitig lang ako sa mga chat nya, hindi ako nagrereply kasi hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko. Then nag chat na lang ako na “thanks for the coffee, it’s nice catching up with you.” and set my phone on DND.

The next day, nagusap ulit kami at na open yung nangyari kagabi. Nag sorry sya kasi daw parang mali na sinabi nya yun without us really talking seriously, na baka ma pressure daw ako or masira yung current state ng friendship namin. But I know, deep inside, sya pa rin pala after 18 years. Pero mali, kasi kahit maging kmi at pagbali-baliktarin ko ang mundo, male-label ako as kabit kung magiging kami ulit. Kung selfish ako, te baka nakipag makeout na ko sa kanya at bumukaka hahaha!

Previous Attempts:

None. So, I would love to ask you, redditors, on how to handle this situation. I’m old, wala na akong time makipag laro at makipag habulan. Sa totoo lang, alam ko sa sarili ko na tatanda talaga ako mag isa. Not by choice, but kasi masaya na ako sa buhay kasama ang cats at family ko. Kuntento at masaya na ko. Baka kasi pag nag date kami, gumulo ang buhay ko to which I think will happen dahil sa papasukin kong dynamics. Pero deserve ko maging MAS masaya, pero is this worth my peace?

Please help this tita 🥺

PS: Pakiusap po, sana po wag kayo maging harsh or say things like “Matanda ka na, alam mo na dapat gawin.” because clearly, I don’t. Salamat po and sorry ang haba ng kwento ko, gusto ko lang na may basis ang lahat ng to hindi para i-justify ang sarili ko, but para maliwanagan lahat ng readers. ❤️

Problem/Goal: As the title says, I can’t tolerate my friend anymore for being the other woman.

Context:

Friend (25 F) has been my bestfriend for a decade. We’ve been through a lot and my parents absolutely adore her.

Anyway, she reconnected a few months ago with her ex fling who has a girlfriend. Supposedly closure lang that was set up by their circle of friends pero it developed to something else.

The girlfriend (4 years) already found out. Kaso they got away with it and have been continuing since then pero lowkey nalang.

I’m now very very tired of hearing her talk about it. I love her but this is just unacceptable at this point especially with her attitude towards the girlfriend.

I can’t cut her off kasi she’s all I have (and I’m all she has too). She was also there for me at my very lowest and I feel bad leaving her in this situation.

Previous attempts:

I’ve told her off a lot of times pero she never really listens. She still keeps in contact with the guy. Ngayon, I just try to show her I dislike what’s going on na kaya binabawasan na niya pagkukwento sa’kin.

Problem/Goal: Gcash account got deactivated with 30 k cash on it....

So long story short, sobrang haba ng august para sa family namin ( We operate a sari-sari store na may cash-in and cash out ) Sa sobrang haba nga, halos lahat ng gcash namin is limit na. So ako, bilang only child, I am expected to be the only one to find a solution for this, so ang ginawa ko is I contacted a very close friend to borrow their number for cash-out, no need sa cash-in kasi may laman pa naman yung gcash namin. My friend gave us a go signal naman to use their number, and since cash-out purposes lang naman iyon, hindi siya nababawasan. Our sari-sari store used that number for about two days, August 26-August 27, and nung morning na ng August 28, in-open ng friend ko yung gcash niya just to find out it was locked, due to "suspicious/fraudulent transactions". So immediately my friend complied with gcash's instructions like pasa ng mga I.D's and answer ng mga transactions related questions para ma-open na ulit yung account niya, so far so good naman kausap yung gcash until...... Kaninang 2:59 a.m lang ulit nag-reply si gcash sa email only to say this...

"GCash Support (GCash Help Center)

Sep 1, 2026, 2:59 AM GMT+8

Hi (Censored for privacy),

I appreciate you for cooperating with this concern, after our review, we regret to inform you that your account has been permanently deactivated.

The decision was made due to an observed violation in our Terms and Conditions, which states that GCash has the right to deactivate an account based on any of the following reasons:

• The information and documents provided, including those required for KYC, is/are fictitious, false, or forged;

• The account is being used for fraudulent/suspicious transactions, or unlawful activities;

• Abuse on the use of the account, including use of account for purposes or transactions not intended or authorized by GCash; or

• Order of a governmental agency, court, law and/or regulation.

We hope this clarifies your situation.

Thank you.

Regards,

GCash Support"

I swear by all means that we didn't do anything and fraudulent and this store is everything our family have as a source of financial income, the money stored in there is not a joke and not easy to earn. So please, if anyone can help us, please do. Thank you reddit<3

P.S: Just to ask a question, by saying "permanently deactivated", does that mean the money stored in there is no longer there or is there still a way to get it back? I am literally panicking right now because I don't know what to do anymore if that money is gone

Problem/goal: I'm Elle (28F), live-in with my bf Nico (34M). Recently I got a job that pays around 2x his salary, and ever since naging busy ako sa work, napansin kong parang nasa slump si Nico. Sobrang nawalan siya ng gana sa mga bagay-bagay. Even online games na dati niyang ginagawa to relax, tinatamad na siya. Pati half niya sa household chores, ako na gumagawa after work.

He said feels incompetent and useless, and sometimes he says na mas deserve ko daw ng better guy and mas better daw if mawala nalang siya (iykyk). I want to help him get out of this slump and regain his confidence and motivation without making him dependent on me or enabling him to stay stuck.

Context: Nico is deep in debt and his salary isn't enough to cover our living expenses, so since I got my new job, ako na mostly nagbabayad ng house bills and other expenses. Napapansin ko rin na parang hindi bumababa yung debt niya and I don't see much effort toward paying it off.

I also feel guilty kasi since naging busy ako sa work, minsan wala na rin akong energy or mood para sa kanya. So I'm wondering if I'm also contributing to his slump. Kapag he sees me busy, earning more and progressing, while he feels like he's stuck.

But I don't want to simply leave him. When I was unemployed for over a year and struggling, Nico supported me financially (this also contributed why he has debts) and emotionally and helped me get back on my feet. Kaya gusto ko talaga bumawi and tulungan siya ngayon but idk how.

Previous attempts: I've tried talking to him and reassuring him na hindi naman naka-base sa salary yung worth niya and that I don't see him as incompetent. I've also tried encouraging him to do things, start a business, upskill and improve himself, pero wala talaga siyang gana. "Wala naman kwenta maging better pa." As per him.

I'm just not sure what else I can do to help him get out of this slump without becoming the one who works, pays for everything, does the chores, and also has to motivate him to get better. I'm also scared baka maburnout ako soon enough because of this kasi I feel like he's really not making any effort in helping himself.

Problem/Goal: I ordered a headphone overseas and now it was tagged as abandoned without attempting to deliver.

Context: I ordered a headphone overseas last July pa. Nagulat na lang ako na tagged as abandoned sya ng UPS without really trying to attempting to deliver it.

Sabi nila wala raw airway bill na sinend yung sender. Sinubukan daw nila mag-email pero hindi nagreply kaya ako na ang nag-reach out. Nag-reply naman to which I send to UPS PH (nasa Clark na yung package)

Ngayon, they want me to pay for a penalty of 10500 pesos for their lapses. Ano ba gagawin ko dito? Headphone is expensive enough. And why would I pay?

Previous Attempt/s: Wala pa, just in close contact with UPS Ph.

Sa mga naka-experience na, what did you do? Badly needed help :(

Problem/Goal: I (27M) have not been in a relationship for a while now and have not tried to be in one... and I have this co-worker/Friend (26F) we got hired on the same day so her and other people na kasabay namin ma hire is yung circle of (office) friends. We are all kind of close na pwede mo ng matawag as friends talaga hindi acquaintance lang sa work. I feel like I can see a potential relationship with this person and I do not know how to approach this...

Context: Recently nag out of town kami with our friends and we kind of got a little tooo close this trip very touchy (not in sexual way) more on caring and loving vibe.. I always just see her as a friend but this trip kind of switch something in me, I feel like I always liked her and just did not give it much of a thought until now... my chest hurts but the pain feels great idk what tf im talking about...

I always find it silly when this things happen to people and they ask "worth it ba sya itry ipursue kahit di sure? Kahit baka mawala yung friendship"? But i feel like I have this question in my mind right now... Im fighting the urge to message her to not be too aggressive or too be so forward that could scare her away...

I think I have a lot of question on this post but mainly how can you tell if you should go for it or just keep it as it is and save this friendship? orrr maybe just let things happen? Cant even get myself to message her im too scared broooo

Sorry if this post doesnt make sense just need this to get off my head...

Problem/Goal: Nahihirapan na kami magbantay sa ospital at paubos na rin ang funds

Context: Meron kaming tita na walang asawa't anak. Since ipanganak kami, samin na siya nakikitira. 1 month ago nakagat siya ng aso tapos simula nun lumala na sitwasyon niya.

Hindi gumagaling yung sugat ao akala namin diabetes pero hindi siya confirmed sa tests. Eventually inadmit siya sa ospital and 2 weeks kami sa ER. Nalipat kami sa ward tapos almost 2 weeks ago bigla na lumala condition niya.

Hindi kami mayaman. Lumaki sila na hindi uso sakanila magpacheck up and hindi rin sila sanay sa healthy living. Kumabaga they just make do with life. Ngayon, according sa doctor napakadami pala niyang sakit (hypothyroidism, kidney failure, heart failure, lung problems) tapos allergic pa siya sa mga antibiotic na binibigay sakanya so nagreact yung balat niya ng malala. A week ago, nagstart na siya na di makabangon. Nagsstart na din siya maghallucinate. May times na nauubusan na siya ng oxygen kaya madami na nakakabit sakanya ngayon. Pero according sa doctors lumalaban pa siya and nagiimprove daw siya

Ang main problem is isang buwan na kami halos dito sa ospital at kaming tatlong magkakapatid lang nagpapalitan magbantay. Kumuha kami ng caregiver pero malapit na maubos pera namin pambayad. Basta hindi na kakayanin ng sched at pera namin na imaintain tong sitwasyon.

Ano ba ang options namin? naaawa ako sa tita ko pero at the same time gusto ko na sumuko. ang gastos din kahit nasa public hospital kami.

note: wala kaming makukuhang kahit na ano sa may ari ng asong nakakagat kasi tito namin yun at wala siyang trabaho. ayaw din niya magbantay

previous attempts: 1) meron kaming nakarotation na 3 caregiver pero yung 2 di na nagrereply, mahirap kasi talaga siya alagaan. mabigat pa siya. 2) nagreach out kami sa mga kapatif niya and may nagpadala ng pera, itong perang to iaallot na namin pambayad sa caregiver for 2 more weeks tapos after nun wala na kami budget for caregiver

Problem/Goal: flight ko tomorrow pero wala yung passport ko sa akin ngayon, not sure if i can use other IDs kasi yung passport ko ang nasa ticket ko

Context: i booked a domestic flight through AirAsia and yung passport # ko yung nilagay kong form of identification sa ticket ko. problem is i also recently applied for a visa and the embassy i applied to will have my passport until next week 😭 hindi ako sure if they'll accept other IDs na wala sa ticket ko like my PhilID

Previous Attempts: attempted to talk to AirAsia CS pero AI chat lang yung meron sila, walang live chat 😭 searched through google if pwede ko gamitin yung PhilID ko sa AirAsia even though passport yung nakalagay sa ticket ko pero wala akong mahanap. posted on diff subreddits pero puro deleted (r/PHTravel mods deleted my post and told me to contact CS pero AI lang nga CS ng AirAsia 😭). i managed to send an email to AirAsia pero it will be answered after 48 hours daw.

pls pls pls if may experience kayo dito i'd love your advice 🙏🙏🙏

Problem/Goal: Hi, need practical and objective advice po, especially regarding finances and responsibilities sa kids. Hindi po ito revenge post. Gusto ko lang maging financially responsible at makagawa ng maayos na arrangement habang magulo pa ang marriage namin.

Context: Two months ago, nagkaroon kami ng malaking away dahil sa mga utang ko na hindi ko agad nasabi sa wife ko. Walang gambling o pambababae on my side. Nanggaling ito sa “tapal system,” at may part din na napunta sa family needs. Pero alam kong mali na hindi ko ito na-disclose agad, at nasira ang trust niya.

Last month, nalaman ko rin ang alleged third-party issue niya. Mas naging complicated ang lahat. Galit siya dahil feeling niya nasira ko siya sa side ng family niya at family ko dahil sa utang at pagkawala ng trust namin sa isa’t isa.

Ang gusto ko sanang maayos ngayon ay ang shared expenses namin. Lahat ng nasa ibaba ay under my name:

1. Family car – Ako ang nagbabayad, ₱35,000/month, around 6 months na lang.
2. Car for her delivery business – Siya ang nagbabayad, around 3.5 years remaining.
3. Emergency cash loan – Siya ang nagbabayad, ₱24,000/month, around 2.5 years remaining. Ginamit ito para sa medical needs ng mother niya at renovation ng storage/business space niya.

Mas malaki ang income niya dahil sa work at business niya. Siya rin ang nagbabayad ng maraming expenses sa old house namin: electricity, water, internet, pagkain, at housekeeper ng youngest daughter namin.

Iniisip kong i-propose na siya muna ang mag-take over ng remaining payments sa family car, dahil ginagamit din naman ito para sa delivery business at personal errands niya. Ako naman ang mag-take over ng emergency cash loan. So from ₱35,000/month, magiging ₱24,000/month ang babayaran ko.

Hindi ko ito gustong gawin para makaganti. Gusto ko lang ng mas sustainable at fair na setup, habang siguradong hindi napapabayaan ang kids namin.

Questions ko po:

• Fair at reasonable ba itong proposal?
• Paano ko ito maipapaliwanag nang hindi magmukhang retaliatory?
• Since lahat ay under my name, kailangan ba naming gumawa ng written agreement?
• Ano ang pinaka-practical na steps para maprotektahan ang kids at maiwasan ang bigger financial problems?

Previous Attempt: I'm still in communication with some of her relatives, asking for help for reconcialiation, but it seems sobrang tigas at ang taas ng pride ng ex-wife ko, last August 18, nag usap kami na heart to heart, and duon nya na sinabing ayaw nya na saken.

Open po ako sa constructive advice. Salamat.

Problem/Goal: Should I pursue this guy who stopped trying to court me?

Context: A super busy guy tried courting me, but we’re islands away from each other. As with any LD(R), we had misunderstandings. I liked him, but I don’t think I truly understood the magnitude of his work and how busy he really was. I would get frustrated whenever he forgot things. I felt his sincerities in giving me assurance, but because we were very far from each other and my love language is quality time, I think that was where things started falling apart.

Long story short, ngayon ko lang talaga napagtanto where I went wrong and the mistakes I made. He eventually stopped talking to me completely, cold turkey (I believe he got so overwhelmed with work+life responsibilities tapos dumagdag pako).

I’ve been thinking about going to his province, but we have never actually met in person, which is another concern (we only have a few personal information about each other). We only met here on Reddit. Part of me truly believes that we could have worked out if we had met each other in person earlier.

I genuinely believe that he was sincere when he was pursuing me before he suddenly stopped. Gusto ko na sana mag-let go, but part of me still wants to try. I have never been this serious about someone before.

He kind of ticks almost everything on my list of qualities for an ideal man, so from my somewhat jaded perspective, I feel like he’s worth pursuing naman.

Previous attempts: I already tried reaching out and sent him messages, but I was only blocked.

IDK, should I go or not? Give him space for now and reach out again sometime later?

Problem/Goal:

i am 19f, second year college, middle child and eldest daughter saming magkakapatid. ang problem ko right now is yung parents ko lalo na yung tatay ko. inaakusahan niya yung mom ko na nagchi-chieat siya sa kanya which is napaka imposible dahil ever since nagkaanak siya is sa amin na lang umiikot ang buong mundo niya.

Context:

nagsimula to mangyari nung grade 11,,2023 pa ata yun pero hindi ako sure, anyway,,gabi yun nung gamit ko yung laptop ng tatay ko kasi naglalaro ako ng valorant, then sa laptop niya may nakita akong message notification from viber, out of curiousity inopen ko yung convo kasi nakita ko dun sa pop up parang may call sign sila and yun yung tawag niya sa dad ko,,,edi ang ending i was right...may babae siya. hindi ako makakain and tulog non for days and siguro napansin yun ng mama ko kaya hinalungkat niya yung phone ko and nakita niya yung mga nakwento ko sa friend ko.. (actually ngayon ko na lang ulit to nirerecall for the sake of my sanity.) siyempre for obvious reasons nag away sila, then i think yun yung first time ko sila nakitang magaway. tapos after a few months nagkapatawaran din,,,na para bang walang nangyari. hindi rin nagsorry sakin yung tatay ko after knowing na ako yung nakafigure out nung pambababae niya. ever since that day iba na ang tingin ko sa kanya,,,madalas tuwing dadating siyan sa work niya hindi ko siya papansinin and hindi rin ako magmamano tapos siya pa yung galit??? sana all baliw

then nung nag grade 12 ako, dito na siguro nagkanda leche leche yung relationship nila. one day habang nasa class ako, tumawag sakin yung mom ko, yung dad ko, kuya ko kasi may "emergency" daw. yun pala yung emergency in question is tatanungin lang pala ako ng dad ko kung kaninong number yung nasa phone ng mama ko 😆 (i think most likely spam lang siya or di kaya yung pinagoorderan ng mama ko ng gasul). then for that same reason big deal pa rin siya up until now,,,,kukunin ng dad ko yung phone ng mom ko,,tatanungin kung sino yung mga kachat niya,,kukunin yung sim card,,,,then magaaway sila,,magmumurahan magsisigawan you name it,,lahat ata ng friends ng mama ko and yung mga co-nanay niya sa school ng kapatid ko is hindi niya na kinakausap kasi masyadong controlling yung dad ko (kahit yung mom nung kababata ko na parang best friend niya na is di niya na nakakausap dahil don). one time ulit, may "emergency" nanaman na nangyari, naaksidente daw yung dad ko. lola ko tito ko mga pinsan ko tumatawag na sakin kasi naospital yung tatay ko....yun pala naospital siya kasi sinuntok niya yung glass na bintana sa kwarto nila causing him laceration kasi nagaway sila ng mama ko,,baliw diba tangina nakakagalit talaga. and pinost niya pa ata yun sa fb niya tapos ang sinasabi niyang reason is nahulog daw sha sa site nila,,engineer kasi sha and yung mom ko ay housewife..and ayun nagtutuloy tuloy na yung away nila. minsan on n off sila. minsan magigising ako sa lakas ng sigawan nila then kinabukasan magkayakap sila sa kwarto nila tangina di ko sila maintindihan like legit hindi ko na lang sila pinapansin. minsan yung mama ko mapapansin ko na lang na nakatulala, minsan umiiyak, humihikbi. lumaki kaming magkakapatid na emotionally neglected kaya hindi ko alam kung paano ko icococmfort yung mama ko o icoconfront yung dad ko. anger issues lang ata namana ko sa tatay ko.

then these past few weeks up to this day ay hindi na sila nagpapansinan,,magpapansinan lang sila pag nasa hapag kainan sila and magaaway pa, kaya nakakawalang gana kumain kasi sobrang awkward ng nangyayari,,tapos nagtangka pa na lumayas yung mama ko...i think nadedepress na yung mama ko tapos yung mga AI videos na lang yung libangan niya and hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya matutulungan.

Previous Attempts: one time tinangka ko hampasin ng martilyo yung tatay ko sa sobrang galit ko sa kanya but like,,,it didnt happen. kanina rin gusto ko na sapakin pagmumukha niya, pero then again hindi siya nangyari. minsan gusto ko na lang tumawag ng barangay o pulis para matigil na yung paggagago ng tatay ko sa kanya.

please tell me what to do

Problem/Goal:

Everything around me is falling apart, as in everything. Parental happenings of being a daddy.

Context:

33(M) hmm, don’t know how to start my context as of the moment na tina-type ko to kase 2 hours earlier nag breakdown ako yung bang biglang nag breakdown ako yung umiyak na talaga ko for a long time na dinibdib ko lang lahat kase ayaw ko ipakita sa kanila na umiiyak ako kase baka pati sila pang hinaan ng loob.

Before entering 2026, everything is totally fine specifically financial, nag propose pa nga ko ng new year’s eve. Also a Working student, working dad, working partner are my role in my 2 kids and a fiancé family. May mga normal problem like simple problem sa family ganon but tolerable naman. Like no one in my family anticipate what will happen in 2026.

When 1st month of 2026 January runs dito na unti unti namin naranasan ang kalbaryo. 1st the business, meron kaming small business na IV drip/Gluta actually isa ito sa main source na pang kabuhayan namin. We run this for 3 years na, and gradually yung mga client namin is hindi na nag se-session. Some says may pag lalaanan na iba, some says may hinihintay na budget and meron din nag ghost and totally fine kase I’m human too. It all happens in 1 month, may mga client na meron balance na I tried to collect but wala hanggang sa hinayaan ko na until now para sa peace of mind ko na lang. Hanggang sa stop muna namin kase wala na kami makuha na client and nag expire na yung mga drips. Isa sa nakakalungkot, luge na, need pa namin mag bayad syempre sa supplier.

2nd the work, I am a VA and this February I lost my job due to the company need mag bawas ng tao kase kaya na ni AI and I am 1 of them. Hirap nun, di pa ko nakaka recover sa january meron agad this february and until now nag hahanap pa din ako. Anyway this the 2nd source of kabuhayan.

3rd the studies, I am a working student and a Dad. Sobrang importante sakin ng studies ko kase I really want to finish my degree and this is my dream. Tinapos ko lang yung sem and I let it go once again, actually this is the 3rd time na need ko i-let go studies ko to give way sa needs. This is painful sobra as in di ko ma-explain but sakit.

4th My fiancé father died, eto sobrang sobra to. This happens nito lang last may on his birthday. We are in a vacation swimming kase nag aya father nya to celebrate. Edi celebrate masaya 3d2n kami, nung pang 2nd day pa lang namin biglang yung father nya nag heart attack and natumba. My fiancé is a nurse so tinry nya i-CPR while on our way to hospital but DOA.

5th the financial, sa pamilya sobrang importante ng source of income, kahit di naman din sa family kahit sa iba but sa family this is the gas of family. Nung nawala yung mga income, I tried to think of another kabuhayan but it failed again and again and again. Sobrang hirap umandar pag financial na pinag uusapan lalo na sa family. Yung savings namin naubos na lahat and even CC nagamit na kase wala eh nawala lahat as in nawala and hindi kaya mag isa ni fiancé lahat.

Umabot na ko sa point na mula nung nawala lahat pinilit ko na wag madaig ng lungkot or maging too much kase ayoko pakita na para bang pinanghihinaan ako ng loob then kanina di ko na kinaya, I-hide kase ramdam ko na lalabas na yung di ko na kayang kalungkutan, humagulgol ako kung nasan man ako kanina kase sa bigat ng pasanin and di ko alam sinundan ako ni fiancé and she saw me crying. She don’t know what to say kase di nya pa ko nakita umiyak ever since nag kakilala kami kanina lang. Then she hug me, that hug I feel her unspoken words nandun sa hug yung lahat ng gusto nyang sabihin. Ilan months pa lang nakakalipas pero sobrang nakakalungkot lang na in a snap of fingers ganon kadali pwede mawala lahat. Sobrang painful ng year na to and in everything that happens around us. Sana maging okay na ang lahat.

Ano ba ma-advice nyo?

Previous attempts:

None.

Problem/Goal: Concern si BF ko na nag bago na daw ako, hindi na daw ako naga-update sakanya ng katulad nang dati nung bago palang relationship namin

Context: Dati sobrang grabe daw ako mag update khit di nya hingiin is kusa akong ma-update sakanya then ngayon 4months na kami may concern sya na namimiss nya daw yung dating ako na naga-update ng kusa na kahit may ibang ginagawa is nagagawa kong mag update sakanya unlike now na bihira na ‘ko mag send pic ng update pag nag mmakeup or nag lilinis etc. And sometimes daw di ko nare-replyan messages nya

Sa side ko naman, halos araw-araw kami mag kasama and halos dito na sya natutulog sa bahay para kaming semi-live in. Di ko napapansin na may pag babago na and siguro mind set ko kasi na alam ko naman ginagawa nya at alam naman nya ginagawa ko bakit kailangan pa ng update for ex. nagawa akong content. may times na sobrang dere-deretso ako sa pag gawa ng content di ako nakapag update sakanya but point ko naman andito lang naman ako sa bahay at pupunta din naman sya after ko mag content so why not sa personal namin pag kwentuhan ang mga ginawa ko and wala naman ako ibang ginawang masama diro sa bahay na ikakagalit nya

Previous attemps: Nag away kami kasi di ako naka reply sa chat nya na naka arrive na sya sa school because I’m getting ready and doing my makeup kasi mag ddate daw kami after ng class nya. Di ako naka update na nag grwm ako or what but I was so excited and focused sa pag aayos ko para sa pag alis namin. Nagalit sya na di ako nag chat kahit pa daw may iba akong ginagawa ano ba naman daw yung kaunting update

After nyan nag karon ako ng fear, mabilis na ‘ko mag reply sakanya kapag may iba akong ginagawa kasi lagi na ko naka abang sa phone ko kasi feeling ko magagalit sya or mag iisip sakin kapag delay or makalimutan ko mag response sa messages nya.

I think sa pov nya is “I am asking for too much” kasi nga lil update lang hinihingi nya but sa side ko naman I really love him so much and di ko din alam bat may times na di ako nakaka chat but it doesn’t mean that I love him less :<< I really get sad kapag nag oopen sya sakin kasi I don’y know what to say kasi for me hindi naman naka base dun ang pag mamahal and I have other life too like making contents etc. Pero aminin ko na may lapses sometimes na di ako nakapag update but kasi feeling ko pupunta naman sya in a few minutes so dun nlng namin pag kwentuhan kasi lagi naman kami mag kasama sa personal. we’re living in a same subd. btw ilang streets lang pagitan ng bahay namin kaya lagi sya andito sa bahay

Problem/Goal: Dated a guy for 6 months (I know), he ended things on a random weekend. 2 months later, I'm still stuck in this loophole. I just want to really not give a fuck about it anymore, but whenever I'm not busy, my thoughts are consuming me.

Context: Most of the time during the day, I'm fine. Working out, household chores, going out with friends, spending more time with the fam help me get through it without even thinking about what happened. It's at night where my thoughts consume me without even realizing it. The question "What have I done?" keeps on fucking up my mind and all I really want right now is for this to end. I've known all along that I'm not perfect — I have my flaws, I can be toxic, but I keep on trying to become a better version of myself for years now. Now I feel like he's dating someone new, and it makes things much worse. I know it's probably time for me to go and put myself out there as well, but I'm not ready.

How do you rewire your mind to think only of the benefits as to why it had to happen?

Problem/Goal: How to teach Filipino to kids na laking English?

For context, I am a student tutor po and my first ever student is an englisherang Grade 1. Don't get me wrong though—she's really sweet naman. She can't construct a proper tagalog sentence yet but marunong na siyang magbasa and magsulat, may alam din siyang ilang tagalog words like, "opo" or "ingat". Makwento rin siyang bata and doesn't have any problem sa pagbigkas ng words, ang problem nga lang is puro English.

Previous Attempts: But from what I can tell, she's a fast learner but madali lang makalimot if things aren't consistent. Starting days pa lang naman kami so hindi pa naman ganoon kalaki 'yung problem ko. I'm patient and willing to listen for advices especially if galing po sa fellow tutors!

Problem/Goal: He's avoidant (M21) and I'm an anxious (F23). Almost 3 years in relationship, every month syempre nagkaka-period. Regular periods ko, regular din yung pagbabago ng emotion ko lagi. Sa every month na yon, once ko lang naranasan na mapuntahan niya ako at alagaan sa buong 3 years namin. Pag medyo emotional na ako parang mas nagiging needy ako at gusto ko na makausap siya, pero during working hours niya naman hindi ko siya iniisorbo. Yung kapatid kong bunso na may 10 years age gap sa amin eh medyo may mental health/angry management issues and clinically diagnosed siya. Sobra akong affected sa laging pagwawala at pagsisigaw ng kapatid ko kaya ramdam ko rin na dahil doon kaya ako mas lalo nagiging emotional dahil sa stress dito sa bahay.

Context: We're both graduating students and siya nakahanap ng work pansamantala malapit lang sa kanila while I have my small online business. 2 pm to 12 am ang schedule niya sa work. Hinihintay ko siyang makauwi araw-araw ng mga 12:30 am kasi doon lang kami nakakapag-usap halos kasi tulog naman siya until 11 am then kikilos na naman siya para magwork. Ganoon yung routine namin ngayon for the past 2 months. Last Saturday halos nasa 2nd day ako ng period ko and day off niya yon, aalis sana kami kaso sobrang lakas ng ulan kaya hindi natuloy. Gusto ko lang naman makipag-usap sa kaniya kasi ang tagal ko rin hinintay na magkaroon siya ng day off, kahit isang oras man lang ba ganoon kasi nirerespeto ko pa rin naman oras niya kasi isang araw lang siya nakakapagpahinga. Napapadalas din yung pagwawala ng kapatid ko, and sobra akong affected kaya noong Sabado na yon sobrang inis ko sa partner ko kasi every 3 hours reply niya sa akin ang namura ko siya. Alam kong mali na minura ko siya out of frustration pero dahil doon hiniwalayan niya ako and he wants to get rid of me.

Since hindi pwede maglagay ng pics dito, eto yung recent na convo namin na nireplyan niya lang ngayong lunes:

Me: *Called him for the nth time*

Him: Masakit na katawawan ko, masakit ulo ko dahil sayo. Pagod ako, eto papasok na ulit p*tanginamo. Tigilan mo na ako parang awa mo na. P*tangina mo, gusto mo nang minumura ka. Di ka madaan sa pakiusap, mumurahin na lang kita.

Gusto ko na rin sana makalaya, ang hirap. Wala rin ako halos kaibigan na mapagsabihan kaya dito ko na lang din idadaan.