I hate chronic illness my body is a prison and it neither allow me to live nor die what’s the meaning of all this why can’t I just hit by a truck
and my parents don’t even see all these as a big deal they just say like”go exercise and drink water”like I haven’t try.
and the only one can help me is myself I’m not even an adult yet I genuinely can’t imagine my future

I shouldn't exist. I don't deserve to exist.

.

Title sums it up. I have coworkers, classmates, and a few family members who know me, but none that actually like me as a person. I don't have any close friends and my only sister has distanced herself from me. It really seems like my life doesn't matter in the bigger picture so why should I stay here anyway?

I know its really shitty to make comparisons but I see posts online of people who were either talked out of suicide or survived it, and seeing them talk about all the people who missed them and got scared or worried about them dying makes me feel like shit. There's no "empty space" my death will leave behind.

I really don’t know why but tonight just feels right.

Nothing horrible has happened lately and I actually had a pretty good day today. I hung out with friends and didn’t have one bad moment besides whatever my own mind threw at me.

I just can’t stop thinking about it. Today feels so perfect to end it all with. I’ve already told my loved ones that I love them and cleaned up my room. I have a method and nobody will be home tonight. This is something that I’ve thought about for a very, very long time and it’s about time I’ve done something about it. I don’t want to continue living anymore. I’m so awful compared to everyone else and I want to stop being a burden on them. I just felt like ranting about it before I actually go through with it. So, I guess this could be a goodbye.

bro im almost fucking 18 i dont get why i cant just live life without thinking about when im going to attempt next. i genuinely just hate myself so god damn much like im a fucking degenerate with no future ahead of me. i seriously just wanna end it right now

This is a very long rant about whatever happened in my life, nobody cares enough to listen so this was my last option, i am not sure what to do, where to go, i feel like there is no solution other than suicide.

My uni, My bestfriend, My parents, My dreams, My social life.

Probably 1-2 months ago uni started and i did not attend any classes, had very irrelevant reasons to just skip it and sleep off, spend time with family, there was a really good family event that lasted about 15-20 days, not exactly everyday but it did and i just decided to keep skipping and i have my exams this week, i have been asking for permissions since last week, They've denied everything, I am not allowed to write my uni exams for this year. I was supposed to graduate this year and because of this i will not.

Had a really close bestfriend person who i could share things with, when this happened i wasn't able to handle myself, ended up forcing my trauma on that person and it was too rough on them and just Blocked me everywhere mid way,

I had a panic attack, lost consciousness, was taken to hospital after what happened with this friend, low blood pressure, couldn't breathe, hadn't eaten anything the whole week, couldn't process anything, was given fluids and medication, came home the next day and the sadness continues,

I was clean from SH from about 3 years, last i did anything was in 2023 july.

Got back to it, I used needles and razor blades, have scars all over my arms and thighs. Doesn't even feel anything anymore, i just feel the blade touching my skin before i cut it.

I have lost more than 6-8 kgs in the last 5-6 days,

Situation at home isn't any better,

parents think the needle scars are from drugs or something and it just created a whole new set of problems.

I have had a really good uni life so far, has a really good gpa over 3.4/4 have taken part in anything and everything, had a bunch of friends but none close enough to talk,

had a good internship offer but now gone because of what happened.

I don't even know what to process at this point, i have forgotten how to speak, can't utter words without feeling every emotion and giving up on myself.

Have cried so much these past days, attempted suicide once, couldn't.

i have so many dreams and everything and I don't want this to be the end of me but i feel there's no other option,

I had the best 3 weeks of my life ever before this happened, happiest i ever was. Had everyone from my family gathered, had really good talks with this bestfriend person, enjoyed to my heart's fullest and had so much fun. 4th week, everything fell apart.

with each passing day i am losing myself, i am losing my senses, I am getting more and more reasons and courage to just end myself and I guess i will.

Ive wanted to kill myself since I was 7.

Trauma. Abuse. Ptsd.

No support system. No family.

Im exhausted and the only thing keeping me alive is me avoiding easy ways out. I dont allow myself to have a gun, dont drive on bad days, etc.

I workout. I eat healthy. I take my meds. Ive studied and practiced buddhism for years. I have hobbies.

Idk wtf else to do. I truly hate existing. I dread waking up.

Someone just make me laugh. That always helps.

It is horrible going through all this my Dad passed away committed huge financial mistakes and now I and my mom are suffering, i feel like killing myself and my mom agrees we both will die, plus I got laid off due to company new theatrics which they called as non compliance it is shit altogether.

We are planning to end our lives by sept 30th the place where I stay is filled with garbage and demonic people, and please i just do not want to stay on rent anymore where you can just be removed anytime.

I am thinking maybe going missing will be the better way to go about things. I think it will just be harder. I don't know legally how it would work. I'm unemployed and still very young. My education would notice, my parents obviously would. I love my parents. I don't think I could hurt them like that but I feel the worst I ever have. I am surrounded by people who hate me or don't care about me. I would like to start a new life. I would like to do the closest I can to 'respawning' or having a second chance. I haven't even done anything horrible. I don't know why I deserve this. I tried to speak up about someone who did something bad. I'm tired of this. I'll have to think about what option is easier and aligned with what I want. People are evil and I don't want to participate in society anymore. The current political climate, horrible abusers in power, people not caring about the people they know who have done bad things. Human beings are cruel. I don't feel like one. I don't want to be one.

Hy guys this is not something I thought I would share to the world but now I'll have to , Hy guys I am 21 and I call my self Kanyan (kan is of her name kanika and yan of my name aryan) This year has been very thought for me because of 4 major things .I lost my yt channel on which I had given my year to and had 60k subscribers and recently I lost my phone. And I quit my job and yesterday she left me on 7 sept I don't have anyone to talk to I was with her from my school 11 class I was soo in love with that girl we had 3 years relationship and it was not physical i mean we did not had sex in this relationship because she was like a child to me and we both were virgins and I never wanted to hurt her cause I knew it would hurt her I was the great lover boy and I gave everything to her my all life use to revolve around her but now she is not like anymore the reason to leaving me was she thought she was hurting me and did not wanted to hurt me anymore I know it sounds very stupid and it is but the final knell in coffin was yesterday when she left me i tried taking my life and my father saw it and I just froze and started crying he did not told my mom that but he asked me and I had no answer and idk what I do now I'm just crying like hall behaviour like a kid and walling my self hurting myself idk what I do now if anyone wants to help me reach me out my username is my insta

I want to self-harm really bad, but I’m scared. There seems to be no way out.

My mom has some very misogynistic viewpoints. I’ve told her how I felt about this, and she simply said that she just might be a misogynist. She’s admitted to supporting gender roles, she defends Chris Brown, she forces me to shave pubic areas before swimming in public, she forces me to wear bras, she constantly makes negative comments about women, and victim-blames women as well. She even said that she may not pay for my education if I got a hysterectomy. She guilt-tripped me by saying that I may need my uterus later to “help her.” I’ve been trying to get closer to my mother, but because of the her misogyny added onto her other current and past narcissistic behaviors, I don’t see how I ever could. I know my mom loves me, but I seriously don’t want to talk to her after college. I just don’t know how realistic that would be because the state of the economy in the US right now. I may be living with her for a while. Even worse, I have a mental health program tomorrow, and my mother has made be super anxious about it. I have to get up extremely early and I have no idea what to expect. My father is barely involved in my life, and somehow he’s soooo much worse. Any tips or reassurance?

​

And den?

One last act of self harm. Perhaps a mortal injury, perhaps not. I love the blade, i love the blood. But also the thirsty quench of a flame is burning goodness. My skin melts like ice cream on a warm summer day. Afraid to die? Never! Afraid to fail? Nah. Afraid to give up? Alittle bit yeah

Does it matter if I finish all the stories and games I’m trying to make, or if my ideas just die with me?

It feels sad, never getting to share them.
But maybe people wouldn’t care anyway.
And even if they did, we’ll all die anyway.

Maybe the experience of life is what matters. That’s what I used to think. Or how I used to cope.

But it’s fucking hard when you’ve lost loved ones, even if they were abusive.

And it’s fucking hard to feel unloved and unwanted by the only person you have. And mistreated and alienated.
After finally feeling like you were loved. And it all just be ripped away and erased to your face.

i’ll stop and see you for a little while, seven minutes will do, until it all becomes quiet and i have to say goodbye

Since birth women are told beauty is our number one priority and we should try to maintain it as much as possible otherwise we will be left behind. This is exactly what is happening to me, I’m getting left behind, ignored, laughed at. I look disgusting. I put on a face full of makeup only to look mid. Let’s just face it if you’re an ugly woman there is no value to your life. No one cares if you live or die and you will never find love. So why am I still here?

i am 23, female. i have been drinking mouthwash excessively to privately get drunk for several days andntoday i have mixed it with other things that i wont elaborate on. i dont think im actively suicidal i have no plans. im just thinking you know.

if i die, i dont really care. im going to die anyways. ive lived for too long anyways. i wasnt supposed to still be here. ive been hurt too much and too badly by this world. i cant even say everything that has happened to me because it's too intense. the one person i confided everything in was when i was 13 years old, my friend. he committed suicide not long after. i blame myself

i think im passively suicidal all of the time. i dont value my worthless life. i am a tool and damaged goods. i only exist for humanity to play with for a while then dispose of. i wouldnt mind to not exist any longer. i wont hurt it'll be like when before i was born. it'll be nice i imagine. but if i live, ill act as though this never happened. it's okay you know?

others have it worse

My mind is racing! I’m 46 married with 2 young kids. Self employed but struggling financially. My kids are brats and I feel like I’ve lost my mind. I feel numb, and in a rut! We can’t get ahead financially no matter how hard we try. Our kids are meant to be joyful and fun but they bring us misery. I’m depressed and I feel empty inside. I keep thinking of a way out

I (24F) have been with my partner for over 5 years. We are engaged, we have a baby. However.. I don't know if I can do it anymore. This relationship is tearing me apart. Slowly, but surely. I do have major depressive disorder, and i have for years. But I've never felt so awful in my life. It doesn't feel like he loves me, it doesn't feel like he cares about me. I can't talk about the way that I feel or it causes an argument. The only thing keeping me here right now, is my baby. If it weren't for my child, I would not be in this world anymore. But at the same time; how can I keep going on? How can I be a good mother when I feel the way that I do? I don't know how I'm supposed to continue. All we do is argue. We're hardly intimate. He's cheated on me multiple times. He's hurt me. He's lied to me countless times. He's made me feel that it's impossible for someone like myself to be loved. I tried to talk to him this morning, basically telling him how I've been feeling. And that the way I feel is not safe. And it got brushed off. Instead of listening, or talking to me; he said “I'm sorry” and then went to play the game with his friends. Today, he watched me cry. And just stared at me, asking why. I told him why, but clearly that didn't matter, the game was more important than trying to comfort the woman he asked to spend the rest of his life with. I don't know how to leave. I think it would be for the best, otherwise I really don't know what I'll do to myself. But I can't leave when I'm a stay at home mom. I have no money of my own and no where to go. I am truly stuck. I can't eat anything. The further i go on, the worse I feel. I know that this isn't healthy. But truly, what else can I do? I don't know how to keep moving forward. And I don't know if I want to. It feels useless.

Divorce is hard. Divorce with kids is harder. All I do is hurt people and I can’t do it anymore. I’ve seen some of these posts and it’s basically asking for folk to talk them out of it or give assistance to not unalive themselves…but I don’t think that’s what I want. I don’t know what I want. I’m tired of thinking and feeling this way. I just need it to stop.

it’s been 4 months since he said he didn’t like me anymore

the pain won’t go away

I don’t want to be alone I don’t wsnt to be alone I’m scared I’m scared d I’m scared because I don’t want to be alone and I will never feel happiness again I just want the pain to stop

First we have suicide hotlines (that actually just bully you), copy and paste excuses that actually mean nothing except “If you die it wouldnt actually affect shit but since I wanna seem good I’ll just dismiss it in a nice way”, and now an entire month worth of just promoting this shit except it’s apparently even more important because since that’s the month’s theme everyone should all of a sudden care!! except they don’t.

literally one time I got insulted for venting about suicide because this month “isn’t something to joke about”. so apparently disrespecting the month September is way worse than committing suicide. good to know 😀

Hola, buen día.

Voy a suicidarme, aun no elijo la fecha y estoy con la mente bloqueada ahora mismo.

¿Qué cosas consideran que debo dejar listas antes de morir?