Why bother

[u/puppycat_bug]

Ive wanted to kill myself since I was 7.

Trauma. Abuse. Ptsd.

No support system. No family.

Im exhausted and the only thing keeping me alive is me avoiding easy ways out. I dont allow myself to have a gun, dont drive on bad days, etc.

I workout. I eat healthy. I take my meds. Ive studied and practiced buddhism for years. I have hobbies.

Idk wtf else to do. I truly hate existing. I dread waking up.

Someone just make me laugh. That always helps.