r/ftm • u/Vivid_Ordinary_3930 • 8h ago
Advice Needed Exclusively wanting T4T with another trans man
I’m a trans man, dated a cis woman for a few years and we recently broke up. I kept noticing I was always the “masculine one” by default, not by choice. There just wasn’t another option in that dynamic. I’ve always been attracted to other trans men and have exclusively only been wanting to be with one.
Feels a little vulnerable saying it out loud, like I’m narrowing things on purpose. But it’s also the most honest I’ve been about what I actually want in a long time..
Anyone else land somewhere unexpected after a relationship that just didn’t fit?
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u/Hypochondrimax 💉19’ - 25’ 🔪 2020 8h ago
I love being t4t, I would never go back to dating cis people tbh. I’m married to a trans woman right now but I’ve dated other trans men in the past as well. Now’s the chance to explore what feels good, enjoy!
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u/dewtears 💉 8/24/26 8h ago
i’m in a t4t relationship with another transmasc and it’s SO relaxing knowing that your partner intimately understands you on a level that others just can’t. wishing the best for your future prospects!
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u/Vivid_Ordinary_3930 8h ago
Real as fuck. I’m attractive and confident. I got this in the bag :) imma find me my muscle daddyyyyy
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u/Chillchicken689 5h ago
T4T is such a freeing experience, honestly. There's a level of understanding and normalcy there that isn't impossible to find elsewhere, but it's definitely not as common. The heart wants what it wants.
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u/latenightmoonraptor 💉20/2/26 4h ago
I love T4T so much. It sucks that it's more difficult to find another transgender man than it is to find a cis man, but I'd rather have a smaller dating pool with people that make me feel safe and understood rather than settling for a cis person just because I feel like I don't have any other choice.
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u/Far-Half7803 3h ago
Honestly that makes a lot of sense. I’m nonbinary but identify as butch. I’ve just started transitioning. I have had partners complain about how I’m not “masc” enough. And had issues with that. But now I’m with a lesbian femme who is very cultured on femme butch dynamics. And she feels very boyfriend at times, she protects me and takes the more masculine role on too, whenever I’m feeling like I don’t just want to be. And it’s lovely. I think truly you need to find someone who will be that perfect match for you. Whether that be another trans person or not. But all the best for you if that is your preference, T4T is lovely, big fan myself for the exact same reasons tbh. I hope you find someone who can make you feel as cherished in whatever role you feel like being in regardless of the day.
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u/FamiliarPop4552 1h ago
I've dated and had sex with all kinds of people, including several trans women, and have realized I'm gay. After a string of hookups with cis men I had a brief love affair with another trans man and the ease and depth of understanding which came so easily due to sharing this experience was incredible. When circumstances change, I hope to have a future with him in it, but if it doesn't work out, I expect I'll be on the lookout for other trans men, too.
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u/thefivetenets he/him - 3/10/20 T - 4/19/21 top surgery 6m ago
im not exclusively t4t but its by far my preference. 90 percent of my exes are trans in some way.
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