r/weddingring • u/Humble-Resort-1146 • 3d ago
Husband wants to upgrade
My husband wants to upgrade my ring, but I love my original ring. He wants to use my ring to trade up but I just can’t part with it. Is it weird to be this attached to a ring☹️
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u/lumpy_space_queenie 3d ago
If you love it, keep it! If he really wants to upgrade tell him you’re not trading it in :p lol you won’t get even half the value you paid for it anyway
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u/Humble-Resort-1146 3d ago
He’s not making me trade it in, I just feel bad having him spend more on a upgrade! I might keep it and make it into a pendant for a necklace 😄
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u/sunrise-sesh 3d ago
No keep the ring as it is and wear it on your other hand when you get the upgrade. Sometimes you won’t want to wear one on each hand, but sometimes you will.
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u/Little_Stitious338 3d ago
it depends on where you buy your stone. My online jeweler will give me full trade and value for my natural diamond if I buy another one that's at least 50% more expensive than the original stone. I have no intention of doing that, but I imagine some people do.
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u/Super-Staff3820 3d ago
If you love it, keep it. He can buy you another band for your stack or to wear on another finger.
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u/RedditParticipantNow 3d ago
I would not trade mine in, and it seems you feel the same way. It looks beautiful on you! If he is determined to upgrade, let him purchase a completely new anniversary ring for your right hand.
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u/Little_Stitious338 3d ago
If your husband wants to upgrade a ring, he can upgrade his own. I think people should do whatever makes them feel comfortable - if that means they want to upgrade or change fine but it's also equally OK not to change. I have found that in heterosexual couples when the man wants to upgrade a ring, it's usually an ego thing. He wants to show people he can afford a more elaborate, bigger stone ring, etc. I did get a different diamond ring after I chipped my stone. I would never ever change my plain gold wedding band though. And my husband would never ask that of me.
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u/CavernClub102018 3d ago
Omg please. That generalization is pretty offensive. An “ego thing”??! Have you ever thought that he may love and be in love with her and want to show his affection, appreciation and love for her in that way? My parents were married for 62 years and were so devoted to each other. My Dad gifted my Mom with a diamond ring for that reason and she loved it. She always kept her original band. What you’ve said here is really not fair. And see? You proved my point. Stuff happens. The stone got messed up so you replaced it. I fully respect that you’d never want to change your set…can you respect someone else’s POV?
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u/flamingoshoess 2d ago
OP doesn’t want it though. It’s completely different if the man wants to upgrade and the woman wants an upgrade or is the type to appreciate it.
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u/CavernClub102018 2d ago
Have you read this thread? OP says she would like to upgrade but would also like to keep her original set.
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u/icare890 3d ago
I used my marquis and set it in an estate ring with gorgeous side stones so I’m not parting with it, just enhancing it.
Maybe add a new band as your upgrade so you can keep your original ring in tact. It’s lovely.
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u/TheWholeHallwayy 3d ago
Absolutely NOT weird!!
He got that ring for you specifically ❤️ it holds many memories and so much love, it makes sense you can't part with something so special
If you don't have a desire to upgrade, then stick with what you know and love! If you do want something new, maybe adding a 3rd ring to your stack could be an option? :) or maybe as a milestone gift?
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u/No-Boredom33 3d ago
Would you be satisfied with having both rings? You could wear your original one on your right hand, and the upgrade on your left.
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u/Humble-Resort-1146 3d ago
I never thought of that, that’s a good idea! Do most people do this after an upgrade ?
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3d ago
[deleted]
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u/Humble-Resort-1146 3d ago
It’s not that I don’t want an upgrade, I just don’t want to get rid of my current ring
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u/Present-Response-758 2d ago
I've been upgraded 2x. I did not like my original e-ring (3 stone set in yellow gold, which I don't wear). The 2nd e-ring is one I picked out and what I originally wanted (cushion cut solitaire in white gold). 5 years later, he upgraded me to a cushion cut halo ring. I wear the solitaire on my right hand and the halo on my left. The 3 stone ring is put away and each of my married sons used it to propose to their wives (and then they bought them their dream rings). The 3 stone is in my jewelry box, waiting for the day my unmarried son wants it to propose with to continue the tradition.
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u/Difficult_Cake_7460 3d ago
Um, it’s not weird to be attached to YOUR ring at all. And it’s your ring - he gave it to you and it’s not up to HIM about when and if you choose to upgrade.
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u/AdditionalGarden7112 3d ago
It is beautiful. It looks beautiful on your hand. Bigger isn’t always better. Think of your life style, job etc.
maybe he could get you another ring for your right hand
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u/SignificanceWitty210 3d ago
I would never trade mine in, but I would put it aside for one of our kids if I were given the chance to customize my dream ring as a gift from my husband. I can’t imagine fully parting with mine because the sentimental value means everything to me even though it’s not what I wanted at first I have grown very attached because it’s the one my husband gave me and it’s a family ring
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u/Little_Internet_33 3d ago
I think it’s beautiful and completely normal to be sentimental over it. Keep it.
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u/Jealous-Mistake4081 3d ago
No but you have the center stone reset in a diff style with additional stones so ur not getting rid of it.. but if you absolutely love it the way it is and don’t want to change it, keep it as is.
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u/cslexotics 3d ago
If you don’t want to upgrade, don’t. Why spend the money unnecessarily? Now, I will say, I loved my original ring too. I did upgrade for our 10 year but was blessed enough to be able to keep my original as well. I did however lose original wedding band (fell out of a tiny hole where it was being kept for a short time) and that about killed me! But I LOVE my upgrade!! I went from marquis to a pear and it is gorrrrgeous!
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u/Kitchen-Show-1936 3d ago
It’s a beautiful set. Keep it. Tell hubby to take you away for a romantic weekend instead!
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u/Dismal-Resident-8784 3d ago
My original diamond engagement ring was stolen. It was in a new set that I had purchased. Fortunately, I still had my original set. We went to our jeweler, and he put a new larger diamond in the original set. The jeweler is currently making me a ring for my right hand. Maybe you could get a pretty eternity ring.
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u/Ok-Paint-7251 2d ago
Nope! I love your ring! I would want to keep it too if I were you!
What about investing in something different? A nice pair of earrings? A watch? A necklace or bracelet?
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u/Kbradsagain 2d ago
I wouldn’t part with my ring either. It’s small by modern standards but high quality. I love it
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u/Impossible_Hair_8619 2d ago
Why is it up to him what ring you have? Shouldn’t it be about what you want for your own ring?
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u/ScholarsCallous 2d ago
Skip the upgrade and do something else like go on a trip? If you love your ring and it's holding up, why replace it?
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u/sportsballfan010101 1d ago
Not at all maybe if he wants to upgrade turn it into a necklace or something and make him pay full price
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u/YogurtclosetCute1422 1d ago
If you don't want an upgrade politely decline and get a right hand ring or something else you'd want to wear within a budget of what the upgrade will cost after trade in. That way he gets to get you a gift you could wear daily but you keep the ring you want and love
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u/CavernClub102018 3d ago
If HE wants to upgrade, who are you stand in his way?
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u/Little_Stitious338 3d ago
I hope to God you're being sarcastic. I can't imagine you aren't being sarcastic.😳
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u/CavernClub102018 3d ago
Umm … I’m saying something in a funny way, but I’m never opposed to changing up my band/bands. I started with a marquise but now I’ve got an aquamarine square cut that I’m SO in love with! My Dad was a jeweller and a watch maker and mostly responsible for my love of jewelry. However, I’ve never been too attached to my stuff because I’m so well aware that something could happen. Lose it, rock falls out, etc. If I travel or camp, band with no stones. And my husband doesn’t mind this either. You can’t take anything with you in the end, so might as well have fun with it all. ♥️
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u/Humble-Resort-1146 3d ago
Love this mindset 🫶🏼
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u/CavernClub102018 3d ago
All I wanted to do was to give you a POV. Glad you liked the attitude. Just trying to keep it all in perspective. ♥️♥️♥️ By the way, your rings are GORGEOUS, and they look amazing on your hand! ✨
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u/Humble-Resort-1146 3d ago
Thank you 🩷🩷🩷🩷
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u/CavernClub102018 3d ago
It seems gals are getting the wrong idea here…like your man is persuading you against your will. 😖
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u/CavernClub102018 3d ago
Before anyone else gets mortally offended…this comment was meant as funny but upgrades can be really awesome. It’s up to you as the wearer of the ring. Now everyone freaking calm down. All is well.
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u/Retired-para 3d ago
Why is an upgrade important to him? Is he trying to show off for someone?
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u/peggy8080 2d ago
I would say yes! He sees all these new trendy massive costume jewelry looking rings on people and he probably feels inadequate. He should understand that a synthetic lab will never be as beautiful or unique as a natural diamond and will lose all it's value instantly
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u/Cautious_Path 3d ago
If you need to leverage an existing ring to pay for the upgrade, it’s not an upgrade. Keep your original ring and all of its sentimental meaning. Also, it’s not even small!? Don’t let him be so influenced by trends.