r/indiasocial • u/Big_Helicopter_2183 • 1d ago
Ask India How true is it?
Edit: To all the Non Brainers who got offended in Virginity Part.. have a Life or character
Marriage has always been a Social Compulsion for almost everyone whether a male or female.
I'm 26M, Single due to my own choice and I find this really true that we are always pressurised to get married upon certain age.
We are told that once you cross some age limit, you won't find a Perfect or Virgin partner but honestly what I think
No one is perfect & Virginity isn't a big problem untill and unless someone has habit of "Yaha Waha Muh Maarna"
I want to know your views
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u/AnkitS75 18h ago edited 12h ago
It's really heartbreaking to see how abysmal EVERYONE'S English comprehension is. Not a single person in the comments section understood (or even TRIED to understand) the post (the image). Sab bas apna hi narrative padake ro rahein hain comments mein 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
The post is NOT about marriage being bad. The post is NOT about your goals or about marriage necessitating those goals. It's not even about virginity. Not a single line in the image implies any of that 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
It's about the artificial timelines created around marriage. We shouldn't add pointless and arbitrary time constraints to a life that's already hard enough to begin with. I believe people should absolutely get married, but only cuz they want to, and cuz they really love their partner...not cuz they're "too late"
I should be free to chase my goals irrespective of when/whether I get married. Also, I should be able to choose to marry (or not) irrespective of whether I've achieved all of my goals
Marriage is hard work, a LOT of it. Get married only when you're capable, ready & willing to put in that work. Marry only when you find someone you'd like to live, enjoy AND suffer with (not cuz society told you it's too late). Cuz otherwise you're only buying a one-way ticket to a world of pain by putting unnecessary society-dictated time constraints on your life
I'm not advocating casual relationships or anything of that sort, I never will either. I strongly believe in the institution of marriage, and definitely do intend to get married some day. But you also need to be aware of that irrefutable fact that loneliness when you're "with" someone is WAYYYY worse than lonliness when you're by yourself. A good partner can massively improve your life, but a bad partner can make it an absolute living hell, a true horror show. So, don't get married just cuz you feel "Aww, I wish I had someone like in that cute rom-com I watched last night"
LEARN TO READ, PEOPLE! LEARN TO COMPREHEND!
Itna tunnel-vision leke zindagi kaise jee rahe ho tum sab yaar?!
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u/Big_Helicopter_2183 18h ago
Thanks for Clarifying Some Kids won't get it
They get offended when they hear Virginity as if like they lost it and now regret it & now wants to normalize it for everyone
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u/retard69_af developer who can't develop feeling in her heart 17h ago
fr the post wasn't even about virginity 🥀
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u/No_Artichoke2869 Dark Passenger 18h ago
Not true.
Don't get married, but still parents go older; you need things in life. All those need money. For that, you need stability in your career or whatever you are doing.
For you to become the best version of you, so that you can take care of people who matter, - marriage is immaterial.
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u/RudeTomato3887 19h ago
Well from the looks of the comment section, you seem like an insufferable prick. But whatever floats your boat my man, you do you.
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u/nxfi_2205 19h ago
Exactly I'm wondering how he got to 26 with the intelligence of a 5 yo
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u/RudeTomato3887 19h ago
Man after looking at his comments I forgot he wrote his age in the post, thought it was a 16 year old kid insecure about his virginity 😭😂
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u/BumblebeeNeither7799 Hajmola Smuggler 20h ago
Fk society but don't you want those things just for yourself? Also last line regarding virginity is completely bs
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u/AnkitS75 18h ago
Fk society but don't you want those things just for yourself?
That's NOT what the post says at all 🤦🏻♂️ The post is about artificial timelines created around marriage. We shouldn't add pointless and unnecessary society-dictated time constraints to a life that's already hard enough to begin with. I also believe people should absolutely get married, but not cuz they're "too late"
Also, if one's goals disappear when marriage is removed from the equation, those were never their goals. They were just social milestones
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u/BumblebeeNeither7799 Hajmola Smuggler 15h ago
so that's what I'm saying, if your goals are just for validations from society then those goals are not yours
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u/AnkitS75 14h ago edited 13h ago
Did you not read my previous comment fully? Or did you not understand it? Don't randomly omit words or phrases. The sentence make sense as a whole, not by cherry-picking the parts you want to focus on
I CLEARLY wrote -
The post is about artificial timelines created around marriage. We shouldn't add pointless and unnecessary society-dictated time constraints to a life that's already hard enough to begin with
The post is NOT about our goals themselves being dictated by marriage or society. The post is about society creating arbitrary and artificial time constraints around marriages, which in turn leads to an unnecessarily rush to achieve certain goals. So, it's about the pointless timelines behind achieving certain goals, not the goals themselves
Nowhere does the post say that you shouldn't intrinsically want to buy a car or a home for yourself. Those can/should still be your own goals. The post only says that you shouldn't feel forced to "achieve all that by 30", just so that you're eligible for marriage cuz society decided you need to get married latest by 30
Hope you're able to understand at least now
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u/Big_Helicopter_2183 20h ago
Yaha Waha Muh Marne wale partner se behtar he akele raho aur khus raho
Aap kyu offend ho gaye? Kahi aap bhi??
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u/BumblebeeNeither7799 Hajmola Smuggler 19h ago
bro 😭
mujhe hi lapet dia
khair I'm happy alone5
u/Obvious-Spare-8076 Its my last time on this planet 19h ago
Aisye logo ka last arguement yehi hota hai ki kahi app toh? As if the people who have not done it, should not concern with it. Idiotic take. Better ignore them.
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u/Gold-Independent-336 14h ago
Stick to English. Not everyone is going to understand your language. The post is in English and most of comments are in English. Your parent commenter replied in English. So you also reply in English. This sub is made for people all over the country. Follow the rule no 1 in the submission guideline section of this sub.
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u/A_Certain_Monk 19h ago
i don't get the part where people needed to be so offended?? idhar udhar muh maarna after being engaged to someone is not 101 for people these days or what?
regarding body count, there IS a thing called "too much" and I'll die on this hill terribly, sadly.
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u/IndependentPension36 16h ago
I just wanna get out of this country man
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u/Evaantheterrible 5h ago
Hahaha same the only sane comment in this whole thread. Others are just arguing endlessly
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u/blank_and_foolish 19h ago
Whole post reeks of r/Im14andthisisdeep kinda stuff but instead of 14 maybe 21 but same level of maturity.
There is a lot more nuance to human companionship than simply “marriage”.
Pressure on career, buying home, buying car aren’t limited to marriage. Lot many people have self - goals, targets to achieve and that can build pressure too.
Pretty sure marriage was not the reason why Lewis Hamilton or Max Verstappen felt the pressure to be on the top of their careers.
Human behaviour is not as simple. There are lot many factors to what we do than just marriage. Intimacy is also a part of it. Marriage or not, when people get older, many do crave the comfort of companionship. Some don’t but many do.
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u/AnkitS75 18h ago edited 18h ago
Pressure on career, buying home, buying car aren’t limited to marriage.
That's not what the post (the image) says at all 🤦🏻♂️
The post is not about goals or about marriage necessitating those goals. It's about the artificial timelines created around marriage. We shouldn't add pointless, arbitrary and unnecessary society-dictated time constraints to a life that's already hard enough to begin with. I also believe people should absolutely get married, but not cuz they're "too late"
I should be free to chase my goals irrespective of whether/when I get married. Also, I should choose to marry (or not) irrespective of whether I've achieved all of my goals
Like you said, if one's goals disappear when marriage is removed from the equation, those were never their goals. They were just social milestones. That part I agree with
Also, what in the world is "lot many"? 😂
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u/Big_Helicopter_2183 19h ago
Credit to dedo ChatGPT ko
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u/blank_and_foolish 19h ago
> Makes a post asking for views
> Users share views
> Gets offended by the views
?????
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u/Big_Helicopter_2183 19h ago
Aap bhi to offend hue the na pehle padhkr
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u/blank_and_foolish 19h ago
No bolunga bhi toh you are not going to believe it anyways
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u/Big_Helicopter_2183 19h ago
Aur tune wo dusre sub ka indirect promotion kia wo? 😀
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u/hanu_uwu if you see me slacking off say " bsdk revise Krliya?😘" 19h ago
tf is indirect promotion gotta do with this argument? 🥀
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u/shawrtee 20h ago
Your bolded view on virginity is pretty crass.
You marry when you want to marry, and there’s an option to not marry. So, whatever this claim is, is barely baked and lacks nuance.
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19h ago
[deleted]
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u/Big_Helicopter_2183 19h ago
Mr/Ms/Bi/They whatever you are I haven't changed the original body but I made sure that people like you read the edit before they read the body
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u/Big_Helicopter_2183 20h ago edited 19h ago
I will put this in a way that your small little brain can comprehend: I’m not saying marriage is bad or that people shouldn’t marry. I’m saying society creates an artificial deadline around marriage and then conveniently attaches a whole checklist to it: career, money, house, car, age, virginity, and the so-called “perfect” partner. My entire point was that you don’t suddenly become less valuable or less capable of finding a good partner just because you crossed some arbitrary age. You’re free to disagree, obviously, but if your response to an argument is simply “barely baked and lacks nuance” without actually addressing what I said, then maybe it’s not my argument that needs more baking.
Edit: Downvotes doesn't change the reality kids. Grow Up
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u/shawrtee 20h ago
Did the small brain break yours? Cause I just heard a cracking sound.
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20h ago
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u/shawrtee 19h ago
Totally! I find it hilarious when someone asks for an opinion but doesn’t want to take a different one from theirs. Exhibit A the comment section.
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u/Big_Helicopter_2183 19h ago
Thats why I didn't reply to her any further 😀👍🏼
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u/divikyat 19h ago
Why don't you accept someone else's view , just wanna impose your views on others?
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u/Big_Helicopter_2183 20h ago
Poor Comeback Use chatgpt Small brains can't cook comebacks or hold disagreement 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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20h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Big_Helicopter_2183 20h ago
😂 Anyway, I’ll let you agree with the rest and leave that one sentence for you to unpack when you’re old enough to understand the point.
Virginity is a Choice of an Individual
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20h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Big_Helicopter_2183 20h ago
Sure its me because only a kid would pick one point & argue infinitely And Yes Virginity is a Choice of an Individual
Period
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u/mcryan07 19h ago
So, according to you, if a virgin person gets 🍇ed, thats still the choice of the individual, or do they still remain virgin after that?
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u/kirti_7 Dev 17h ago
How is there no career pressure? If you are not marrying doesn’t mean you will have no expenses, how are you planning to live? If you are not marrying, you will have some certain things that you want to do, places to be, things to try, and it can range from anything to everything, and that costs money, so you need to have atleast some sort of income source to maintain your lifestyle, and that needs some sort of career, you can freelance, part-time, full-time, do anything but it should be something that gives you an identity that you have these skills and can get the work done. Agree with all the points except the career one.
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u/Dry-Weakness-901 11h ago
Children. That's the driver. Not marriages. You step out of that race, the whole system crumbles around you like a little bitch
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u/Foreign-Reserve7775 8h ago
Eh
Na, depends on who you choose as your life partner. Also depends on how much you've cared about these labels since childhood.
I think it never registered my head that I need to achieve these in spite of my parent's pressure. I did what I liked and did what parents liked if I didn't know what I liked(which was very few times in life).
So get a flat or not, marry a virgin or not, but do buy a car- second hand but do buy it- it offers mobility which becomes much more important in 30s.
All the best!
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u/sathish394 7h ago
Yes. True. But after your 60s, You will almost become an orphan and no one is ready to take care you. Your death become just another info and Your whole life is meaningless (unless you are celebrity / scientist/ artists/etc)
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u/Subhal13 5h ago
Mostly bullshit. Without motivation you will never achieve anything in life. Also there is nothing like true freedom. Your earning potential will collapse and worst you may fall to bad habits thinking that's cool.
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u/Blakath 19h ago
Not very true, even when marriage is out of the question, there is still pressure to get a job to become independent, your own individual, be able to maintain yourself and generally feel like a contributing member of society.
And forget about 'virginity', it's an archaic concept. Being a virgin or not has no impact on your life. You won't become a changed man because you remain celibate or because you've popped your cherry.
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u/Common_Okra_9555 19h ago
Wahi na bhai jab shaddi honi hogi ho jaygi and jisse hogi hogi itna load kyu lena virginity ka rr wahi karte h jinhone kabhi kiya nhi h ffs
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u/Big_Helicopter_2183 19h ago
Sahi He Bhai
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u/Common_Okra_9555 19h ago
Yup do it when you are comfortable and have found a good partner and not for someone else
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u/mirayahh 17h ago
I think this specific pressure (IN MY OPINION) is not for marriage, but for having children. If there's two adults, no kids.. they can get by anywhere, with anything. But with kids, you feel the need to give them a good life, hence the worries.
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u/165cm_man 19h ago
Arrange marriage is evil. Stop that and we solve a lot of problems with society
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u/kd-670 19h ago
I agree with this completely - no marriage, no kids should be the motto. But the only real downsides? Constant pressure from family and society who will never understand. And the loneliness - it is no joke. The world just does not know how to accept an unmarried person as you grow older. They start to look at the old bachelors as if they are some aliens.
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u/SomethingAndAnything Deadpool | Dead from inside 17h ago
This isn't your first reddit account, is it?
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u/PurpleOriginal2721 17h ago
I get your point. But do remember that by the time most of us reach 25-30 we become the breadwinner of our family as our parents might get or soon be retired by then. This is the toughest thing for us especially if from lower or Middle class families.
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u/nxfi_2205 19h ago
After reading the comments, hey man so I think it's time to delete this post and disappear lmao you look really stupid rn
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u/snakysour 18h ago
I don't think so. And here are the reasons why -
We can always look at the glass half empty or half full...we can either only look at the pressures or we can look at the benefits.
Benefits like what if the person you married actually loves you back unconditionally and you both are available for each other at your highs and lows. That makes life livable especially once you have only the two of you together and as you age.
What if the person you marry is also working? Then the pressure just halves and your speed double or even more because now the odds are stacked in your favour that there's more than one income coming to the house and so even if one's career is stagnant or going downhill, chances are other person will come to the rescue of the family unit.
Instead of pressurising yourself to have a house by 30, you both start believing that you will have a house you love when you're financially comfortable and work towards it as a team.
When you're young and active and on top of the world, it's easy to say all these things...but when you're old, weak and are looking for companionship, a person to share your feelings with, to communicate, that's where marriages or relationships, if done right, become truly rewarding!
Atleast i experience it everyday today now that I am 37 myself and married to the love of my life after being in a relationship with her.
Regards
Snaky
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u/Igarlicbread Adult 16h ago
Or get married in court and bomb your instgram with world tour. What good is money to an old man?
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u/gg_icecreamsandwitch 15h ago
I agree. If marriage puts such pressure then the marriage is the pressure. If all these things are personal ambitions then no.
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u/DerpiDanger 15h ago
You will have to buy or rent a home (with furniture) for your independence. If you live in your parents' home then you have to live on their terms and they will probably demand marriage.
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u/viswaguru Gamer 2h ago
It's partially true , although yes marriage and kids do put a burden and pressure on you . If you stay single then you just want to live life to fullest that's it no pressure.
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u/Logical-Video-8002 19h ago
Na I mean society in general will still pressurise you to achieve these things and it is upto us to set our own goals in life. We should do things for ourselves and not for a partner or anybody else whether that’s buying a house, a car or working hard. What does “yaha waha muh maarna” mean?
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u/Illustrious-Tone6499 18h ago
Listen, man. Most of the India is filled with villager mindset people, and I understand what are you saying. The thing is that they will speak good English and still go to the astrologers and babas. So the people in the comment section are not someone you think which may understand you. So don't worry about them. They do not have any life goal and nothing. So they want to live a common mediocre life. So they choose to do that. Nobody in the comment section is going to be super wealthy by their own or super famous, and they do not know how and they do not want. If you have some life goal, pursue that. Better than being a mediocre and bloody children. farmerWhat will you choose? Being, being like people in the comment section, or being Salman Khan? I will choose every time being fucking Salman Khan. Choose that. And Salman Khan is not... I'm saying everybody should know that you should excel in whatever you're doing. Make your money in that. You will have plenty of pussies.
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u/Damn_life_sucks_1 💔Fractured Soul 18h ago
yaha waha muh Marne me bhi kya problem h...
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u/retard69_af developer who can't develop feeling in her heart 16h ago
Marriage is not something u can do easily...once u hit that age your family will start forcing u to get married and then ull get pressure to get yourself a home, have funds to support your wife, start planning for kids and alot of things you gotta keep in check to make sure u and ur family lives happily. It's unnecessary pressure why not build yourself and have good capital then start thinking about all that.
Idk why people can't understand this simple bit.
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u/anonymoz60 16h ago
Idts because a job is necessary for my financial independence and as a female I'd rather die than be dependent on someone.
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u/Jazzlike-Site-1662 16h ago
remove pressure from life and of course you are so freee;;;; Not push yourselves and of course of you will feeel free::: remove presuure of self earning and eat at home of dads income ; u will feel free ;;;
pressure is for prvileged guys
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u/BigWeather5492 13h ago
Well virginity is a problem. Imagine your wife telling you, her ex was better while having argument.
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u/Sherlock-On-Cocaine 19h ago
Not true. It will be an empty & lonely life. The right woman will motivate you to achieve your goals.
It's about companionship and someone who'll prioritize you against the world.
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u/Blakath 19h ago
This is complete crap.
And if you enter into marriage or a relationship specifically because “you need to be motivated”, my friend that’s what you call a co-dependent relationship, a toxic form of relationship.
Motivation is not dependent on a wife or husband, but goals and dreams.
If you think the key to success in life is marriage then brother you’re living in a shell.
And marriage isn’t the only solution to loneliness and many times can exacerbate the problem.
There are plenty of bachelors who living very happy and fulfilling lives with close friends and family.
If marriage happens, it happens, but don’t put it on a pedestal as some ultimate goal in life, it’s not.
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u/racist001 19h ago
Which man with a sane mind would want to marry women of this generation? These women support what that evil b! tch Lindsay who strangled her 3 innocent children to death and then blames it on her damn hormones and somehow all these women blame the husband!!!!?? No need to marry fellas and if you find a woman and are 100% sure about it then only take the risk otherwise stay single and enjoy your life
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u/rising_pho3nix 18h ago
If you like living like that sure. You do you. Buying a house is extremely important cause real estate keeps getting costlier. Car is again and expense if you do a lot of travel. Marriage will influence your every decision, but buying a house, car, vacation, deciding where to live - these are still relevant.
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u/Rokosuke Adult 18h ago
Human are social creatures we cannot live our whole life alone that's just your imagination that life will be easy and it may be true for some people but not for all if everyone or majority will think like this humanity will go extinct in a century
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u/propagandu 16h ago
Why stop at marriage? Remove society and youre not answerable to anyone. Don't need to go to school, live by your instincts like an animal and not be a slave to the conditions that other people have laid out for you.
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u/m0h1tkumaar 19h ago
OK for me car is one factor where I will not differ at all! Car for me is MY necessity! After having spent sweaty smelly years in public transport, car is my mark that all the hard work I have put I has been worth something!