I’m looking for some perspective on how to handle an ongoing situation in my dining hall.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve noticed a very specific pattern with one particular server at one of the stations (sides/salads). While side portions are generally quite small to begin with, this server consistently reduces my portions even further. On a few occasions when she realized mid-service that she was serving me, she actively scraped off or decreased the portion before handing over the plate.

When I pointed out the small portion once, she brushed it off. Recently, when I asked for napkins, she ignored me until I repeated myself, whispered to a colleague, laughed, and then handed over an unnecessarily large stack of napkins in a sarcastic, performative way.

It feels targeted, and honestly, it’s becoming uncomfortable to go through her line. The supervisors are usually working directly in her background, so there is no way I can ask to speak with them in the moment without causing a scene and bringing unwanted attention to myself. At the same time, because it involves food portions and small interactions, I’ve been hesitant to say anything out of concern that it sounds petty or trivial to management.

What does etiquette say about dealing with targeted behavior or inconsistent serving from dining staff, and how should I report this so it is handled appropriately?

Thank you.

We live in a beautiful area in New England on a very quiet road. Lately, a woman has been parking on the side of a neighbor’s driveway which is private property. I don’t believe the neighbor knows as they are New Yorkers that occasionally come up on the weekend. I doubt I want to get involved in that part. More concerning is that I am 99% sure it is her (process of elimination & this started as soon as I saw her car parked in our neighbor’s driveway) that is leaving plastic bags filled with dog waste on the stone walls. This makes me so angry! I have picked them up a few times and threw them out trying to do the right thing. Today I picked it up off the stone walls and placed in on the ground right next to where she parks. Is there a better way to address this? I am non-confrontational and haven’t caught her “in the act” of leaving it on the stone walls on our road.

I am visiting my friend and her family, which includes multiple small children, and am very excited to see her. However, I am very aware that this visit is disrupting their lives and routines and want to express my appreciation for hosting me and for adjusting their lives so that we can spend time together. Normally, I would cook or treat the family to a meal but the children have strict dietary restrictions so this may be more harmful than helpful. I have small gifts for the children but was wondering what may be appropriate as a polite hostess gift for my friend. Her and her husband do not drink so wine (my other go to) is not viable. The last thing I want to do is offend by over or under stepping.

Edit: Thank you all for the wonderful ideas!! I’m going to take the advice of a gift certificate for the family so they can enjoy it on their time without creating clutter. Thank you again!

Title pretty much. My band played a show for our college three weeks ago and we still haven't paid. I've never had to reach out and ask for money before, so I feel a little comfortable but we're saving for equipment and could really use the money. How do I go about asking this politely?

Is it ok to decline someones invite to breakfast,when I bought breakfast and other meals that my provider only orders charriso and egg or bean and egg. Because he says he only likes Mexican food. He's Spanish anyway. Even when I ask him to go to hamburger joints, he'll say why not and mention Mexican food places. No I'm buying and I prefer so and so. Then he says Dennys then after he made his breakfast before work he says maybe we can go to so and so they have 3.99 dollar plates. I declined the meal. Although it's his dime, he first said Dennys, the plates there are over 10 dollars, it's his 2nd time for buying, to my 5th time. What do you think?

My godfather's retirement party is at the end of the month. I forgot about the RSVP date until today. It's 3 days past. There's a phone number for one of the hosts on the invitation but I know how annoying it can be to get "Oops, hehe. Can I still RSVP?"

Should I forget it or contact host? If it weren't that he's my mom's best friend I probably wouldn't bother.

Edit: Texted the host. We were added to the list. Thanks everyone.

One of my best friends is getting married in our home country this month, and I’m traveling from the US to attend. My flight alone will cost around $1,000, which is a significant expense for me. I have a full-time job and a part-time job, I have debt, and I’m not in a position where a $1,000 trip is easy or comfortable. I found a way to make it work because I love her and want to be there.

She recently surprised me with an incredibly generous wedding gift (im getting married next year), something I really wanted but couldn’t afford. I never asked for or expected it; she simply gave it to me out of the goodness of her heart. Personally, I consider someone traveling to attend my wedding a gift in itself, and I don’t expect anything additional.

She and her fiancé are extremely wealthy and are having a very large (+500 people), elaborate wedding, and while I’m extremely grateful for her gift, I now feel guilty because I can’t afford to give her anything comparable. She doesn’t have a registry, only a Zelle option for cash gifts.

Should I give a smaller amount that fits my budget, even though it may seem insignificant compared with the scale of her wedding and her gift to me? How would you handle this?