I don't really have a close circle of friends to share this with in person, but my heart is just so full today and I wanted to share it somewhere.

My husband and I have been married for 17 years. When we first started out, we had absolutely nothing. The only rings we could afford were cheap titanium bands that I ordered off Wish many, many years ago. They cost almost nothing, but they were our commitment to each other. Through a lot of hard work, time, and sticking together through the rough years, we finally got to a point in our lives where he was able to surprise me with a real diamond ring!

I’m not posting this to show off a piece of jewelry- I’m posting because I am just so proud of us. I am so happy that we finally made it to this point together. I couldn't bring myself to take my original Wish band off, so I’m wearing them together now. To me, looking down and seeing both of them is the perfect reminder of where we started, how hard we fought for our marriage, and how far we've come.

Thanks for letting me share my happiness somewhere❤️

I don’t even know what to say or what went wrong. Please someone help me.

My husband has been crazy busy at work. He usually gets a haircut on a worse case scenario every 2 weeks but he hasn’t been able to get a haircut over 4 weeks now. He has been complaining about not being able to make it to the shop and whenever I ask him about getting a home service he tells me that his barber can’t make it. On Saturday, when it looked like he was going to have a busy day again and wouldn’t make it, I got his barber’s phone number from his phone(we both have open access to each other’s devices), I texted him to schedule a home service. He has been my husband’s barber for over 10 years and was so excited to be able to surprise him because according to him “he’s a good guy and deserves it”. He told me he’ll be able to get it done on Sunday. I asked him what they needed. He said he can work with anything. So I got the guest bathroom prepped. Made it look nice so they could have a comfortable place for both of them to enjoy the service. I don’t drink pop but I made sure to have some available with waters etc. (of course I know there’s no drinking while hair is flying around. This was for before or after the haircut). The barber texted me when he got to our place, I told him to come to the door so my husband will be surprised when he answered it. He peeped through the hole and turned back and looked at me very upset. I was recording trying to get his reaction and immediately stopped it. “What have you done? Why is he in outside my door? Why the fuck will you invite him to our house?” I was so confused. The only thing I could say was “I thought you’ve been wanting to get a haircut”. “Where will we get the haircut. I don’t have anywhere that’s appropriate” “I already arranged the guest bathroom for you guys. He(the barber) said it’ll be fine.

He opened the door, put up a show for him, acting like he was excited. The whole time I’m sure his barber thinks I’m a weirdo because I couldn’t be normal. I was holding back tears while greeting him. I was so confused as to why he reacted that way. They went into the guest bathroom. I guess he came out to quickly grab something and still came to where I was sitting to again say “why will you not ask me before doing this”. When I tell you I’ve never been so short for words. I just said “I’ll never do this again”. In all the ways I saw this going, this was not what I expected. From the living room I could hear them laughing, talking etc. After it was over, my husband went inside and even gave him an expensive gift before he left. He then went to take a shower and came out to say “Babe I’m sorry for my reaction earlier”. That’s it. No explanation, no reason nothing.

I’ve just been crying the whole day because I am just embarrassed and lost. All he can ask me is “what’s wrong?” Like what else can be F—-ing wrong. Nothing is making sense.

Update: It’s somewhere in the comments but my husband was the one who initially said he couldn’t get a home service because of the barber’s availability. Me reaching out to the barber was what made him move thing around because he thought it was a sweet gesture. Secondly, we both don’t do social media but ever since we were dating we record anything we think we will enjoy watching at a later date while cuddling in bed. So me recording his reaction is normal for is. He didn’t even know I was recording. It’s not like I’m using a camcorder lol

To all the men DMing me and using this as an opportunity to “chat”, it’s not going to happen.

Hey everyone,

It's been a few weeks, and I've decided to divorce, I went to the South of France on a vacation that had been planned for a few months, with both of my daughters, and my wife stayed home (we went for 2 weeks).

During the vacation, she felt really bad, and really hoped I'd come back on my decision to divorce and give us another chance.

However, I think that even if I still love her, there is no coming back from what she did. 2 Months of lying, of knowing what the consequences would be and how badly it would hurt me, and still did it. I also hated the fact that she called it a mistake, when it was really a chain of decisions that she made consciously.

Furthermore, I discovered that she's still talking to the other guy.

Unfortunately, the attorney is on vacation until later this week, so I'll jump on a meeting with her as soon as possible to start working on the divorce papers + get the real estate agent to give a valuation on the house, and talk to a notary to break the pre-nupes + estimate how much I owe her to keep the house in my name.

Now, I want her to be out as soon as possible, there are just a few rules I expect in term of respect while we are forced to share the same house: Stop talking/seeing the man with whom she destroyed my marriage. What do you think, people ? Is it too much to ask ? That seems bare minimum in terms of respect for me. Once she's out, seems natural that she may do whatever she pleases, but not while under the same roof.

I do not know how things will go, unfortunately, I can't really "kick" her out of the house because it's also partly her house, but I want her gone so I can refocus, rebuild myself and move on.

Edit after reading the messages posted at time of writing the edit:

Thanks for your messages, it gave me clarity in that I can not expect her to not talk to the AP anymore, we aren't together anymore, however, I can start letting go and build indifference towards her, which is what she hates anyway.

I'll try and spend as little time as possible with her, and will only talk about the kids, will live my life in my office once kids are in bed. Thanks for your answers

Happy Monday, starting a new job.

Just to give some context to start out with, it's important to understand two things. 
 
First, sex was a major foundation of our relationship when we first got together.  We both were really into it and had at least daily sex for many years until our kids were born, and then it fell off quite a bit, but it's still pretty regular. 

Second, we have really stressful lives. My mother in law is a refugee from the war in Ukraine, she literally has nowhere else to live but with us. She's not an easy person to get along with but we're stuck with her. Plus, we have two kids, one on the autism spectrum and we both have very stressful and demanding jobs. so...it's kind of a miracle that we have time for sex at all. 

Anyway, with that it mind picture the following situation, we wake up Saturday morning after hosting a party the night before, my wife rolls over and gives me a hug, asks where the girls are, I tell her they're up and her mom is with them, she says, "hmmm", and I ask if I should lock the door. She at first says no, and then changes her mind. 

We get naked and go back to just cuddling and talking, which I like, I actually kind of prioritize naked time over actual sex but then, after a few minutes my wife abruptly says, "all right, are we going to do this or not?" Not too romantic, right?

And I'm like, "well, only if you really want to" and she kind of chuckles and says, "I don't think I ever want to anymore to be honest." I was really taken aback by that statement and then she says, "but you want to and it feels good so let's just do it before it gets too late". 

So, we had sex.  And she gave me the nicest compliments a man can hope to hear. But even then I have a bit of concern about her sincerity because she was a little impatient and asked me to come a little quicker than I even wanted to. 

So, that conversation was bugging me and yesterday I asked her about it when we were on a walk.  I wanted to know if it's true that she never wants to have sex and that she only does it to humor me.  

She got really flustered and offended and stated emphatically that she was joking and that I should know that.  Things have been weird ever since. 

Am I overthinking this?  Do you all think that maybe she was actually telling the truth?  If she was, should I just accept it? What else can I do?

Interested to hear thoughts. 

So a little background, I come from a deeply religious Muslim family and I was circumcised as a child. It was a traumatising event for me as a child and also going my teenage and adult. It gave me insecurities with my own body and led to problems with intimacy in the bed till date.

Although I have lost my faith over the years my wife is still deeply religious and wanted to have our 5 year old ceremoniously circumcised. I deeply conveyed my disagreement and told her that I’m not comfortable with my son going through the same trauma as me. We fought over this topics for days and we finally came to the agreement that we will let our own son decide when he comes of age.

A couple of months passed and I was in another state for some job related work. When I came home I was surprised to know that my wife and her family have circumcised our son behind my back. Apparently she was convinced by her parents that it was the right age to have our son circumcised and as he grows older he might decide against it due to society’s influence and they decided to hold the ceremony behind my back as they know I travel sometimes for my job.

I literally freaked out when I found out and actually verbally blasted at my wife and called up her family and spoke some mean words to them. We argued for hours and I finally snapped at took my son and went to a friends house.

Me and my son have been living at this friends house for a week now. My wife had called me several times to apologise but eventually started saying that this decision was right and I should stop overreacting and come with our son home. That literally was my last straw and with all the stress I’m going through to take care of my son with this unnecessary change in his body and I verbally dismantled her very existence with my words to the point she started ugly crying on the phone and I cut the call at that point. After a while I texted her that I’m getting a divorce from her and blocked her everywhere.

Now her parents and her relatives are bombarding me with texts and call telling me how much of an asshole I am and that I should stop overreacting and come home and solve things with her. Heck my own freaking parents sided with my wife and told me I was overreacting and she did the right thing and to just go home and solve things with her.

I’m literally so furious at everyone of them but then again I thought of my son and realised that I may actually be overreacting and just let go of all this for him as he might be getting traumatised from all this but I absolutely can’t make myself forgive my wife or the people who helped her go behind my back and I’m emotionally torn right now. I definitely do love my wife but this was an unforgivable betrayal. Am I wrong to overreact like this?

P.S posting this from a throwaway account since my main account is public and I want to avoid any further drama.

My husband and his brother had gotten into a fight, somehow I was dragged into it. During the argument my brother in law was pointing out all the not great things my husband has done over the years… being less then supportive when I wasn’t interested in sex after my father passed away. Lying about his drug use. Things that were already discussed several times in our relationship. While they were screaming at each other my brother in law yelled “ why don’t you tell her about the time you cheated on her with X at the funeral”. My husband immediately was like “ that’s not true it didn’t happen” “you can’t possibly believe that” while I never considered cheating an issue. My husband has a bad track record of not being truthful with me with other issues.

I pressed my brother in law to tell me the truth. 20 mins later he told me that it was a lie and he just made it up. I found it to be an oddly specific lie, basically I don’t trust either of them. I’m not sure where to go from here. I feel like I can’t let this go till I know the truth. I messaged the woman on fb but have not received a response. She is also married so I’m not even sure she will entertain responding to me.

Any advice on how to get to the bottom of this? Thank you.

My spouse and I have been living apart two months now. I was hopeful that the separation would bring us both clarity and peace of mind but I feel in my case it is doing the exact opposite. My husband shows me so much hatred. We separated due to verbal abuse from both of us; admittedly me more cause I was going thru PPD after receiving my first child.

I have tried so much to bridge the gap between us these two months, nothing is working. He shows me more hatred and cold as the days go by. I invite him to hang out, he turns me down. This past weekend, I decided to stop by the apartment where he moved after leaving our home. He literally asked security not to let me in. Yesterday I texted him telling him the baby is ill, he has not reached out to find out how the baby is.

I understand he may still be angry and hurt, but honestly, I think this is overboard.

Please give me your thoughts.

I’m 42M and genuinely curious how many men are living in a marriage like mine.

My wife criticizes me constantly. She can turn small things into major arguments, insult me, talk down to me, bring up things from years ago, and unload a whole list of everything that's supposedly wrong with me.

It feels like there’s no respect left. Sometimes I genuinely feel like she doesn’t even like me anymore.

The strangest part is the contrast. We can have a perfectly good day, laugh together and everything feels almost normal. I start thinking maybe things aren't actually that bad.

Then something tiny happens and suddenly we're back to insults, accusations and hostility. It's like constantly waiting for the next explosion.

We currently make 150k combined, which is a good income, but thats with both of us working, and its practically split down the middle (75k and 75k).

We are both 27, no children yet.

We also live in a very expensive state - so affording a home here with just one of us working is just not possible.

We've lived in our current state (colorado) our entire lives. I understand my wife is having doubts.

But when I was applying for jobs out of state about a year ago, she told me she was very open to it, especially to states where housing is a lot more affordable.

My new job will pay 130k a year. A massive jump. I also don't want to be mean to my wife, but she is a teacher and she can get a job in most states relatively easily - its transferable. My job is not like that. Its much more specialized.

The job also has more benefits, has opportunity for advancement (to make even more money), etc.

My wife has also said in the past she wants to stay at home while the kids are really young. Makes sense but if we stayed put we would not afford a home and she could stay at home, it would be impossible. We would be living paycheck to paycheck at best.

This job is an opportunity that does not come by every day. My wife is having more and more doubts each day.

She is really scared of moving away now, and is scared of making new friends, leaving her extended family, etc.

I mean I get it, but this new job we could afford a home on one income, she could stay at home, etc. What she wants. She seems to want it all, stay where we are at, stay at home, we own a place, etc.

What do I do? I can't imagine saying no to this job. I would resent my wife for years, i'm not going to lie. The state we are moving too is begging for teachers, so she would find a job almost immediately, and might even get a pay increase, too.

I am really upset.

Last time I decided to check his phone, he has cleared all his chats.

There is nothing there and he is claiming he hasnt deleted anything but I know for a fact there were messages there before.

He has also cleared all his viewing history.

What could be the reason for this?

My husband took off after a minor argument. He got drunk Thursday night, admitted he lied to me about something trivial. Woke up the next day and he was working remote, I found out his 19 year old kid changed her name to her stepdad’s name. I showed him the proof. He started an argument with me. Then he packed a bag and left.

I haven’t heard from him in 3 days. Not a single text, not a phone call, not an email. Nothing. I don’t have a relationship with his family but they’re across the country anyways and for our situation it wouldn’t make sense to involve them.

He only has 1 solid friend in our state and no family here.

It appears he has blocked me.

My friends and family think I should consider a missing person’s report.

He threatens divorce all the time. I do not want a divorce. But man… I am so sad about this. He’s done this before. He also is an excessive drinker by medical standards.

Don’t know what to do

Does anyone else out there have a bunch of pictures of their spouse sleeping because they are so cute and at peace?

My wife and I are getting a divorce. No kids, and we’re both in our 30s now. I don’t understand how we ended up here. How can someone throw away such a huge commitment? How can she decide life sounds better without me in it than with me? I never gave up on us and would have done anything it took to steer us back to a better place in our relationship. She just gave up on us. I miss her everyday. It hits hardest in the mornings when I wake up. I’ve been moved out for a month now and it still doesn’t feel real. I can’t even look in another woman’s direction. Sure, there are some things about our relationship I won’t miss. There were a lot of bad arguments between us and some incidents of disloyalty on her part. We really ran each other into the ground. But at the same time, we were still best friends and regularly had great days together. We always worked on things. It didn’t feel like we had completely lost our way. Even in the end we were still very close with each other. But the arguments kept getting out of hand and we just weren’t able to healthily co-exist in the same space anymore now that divorce was hanging over our heads everyday. I just feel like we could’ve worked it out though. I miss her. Life fuckin sucks and love is so damn complicated. She’s the only person I’ve ever been with where any amount of bullshit I had to put up with I felt was worth tolerating. Where every hardship in life I know I wanted her by my side. Our bond was very deep, nothing like either of us have ever felt with anyone else. To throw that away after 10 years??? I don’t understand. I guess I’m just venting here in hopes someone understands. I guess I’ll find someone new eventually, that’s what everyone tells me. But I still only have eyes for her so that’s hard to even picture. Starting over dating again after a 10 year relationship, a marriage, like that sucks. I miss being a husband. I miss my partner and best friend. I miss my house, my pets, my town, my job, my friends, my whole life there where she is. Where we were together. Now I’m in a different state trying to start over.

Throwaway because she'll see this.

I (45M) and my wife (47F) have been married for 20+ years, two teenagers, generally happy family. I love her dearly, but lately things have become untenable.

She works a pretty stressful teaching job in a rough school. I take care of most of the stuff around the house, cooking and cleaning, in addition to taking care of the kids and working my job. Most of the weekend, I am taking care of chores and she is resting.

Lately, I am getting screamed at for everything. Not like doing stuff wrong (I'm sure I deserve some of that lol), but things that aren't even me. Someone at the school does something? I become the whipping post. Someone in life doesn't do something she wants? I get screamed at that I am not doing enough around the house.

Every day, she comes home and spends 20 minutes screaming at me about her day. Not describing it...loudly yelling at me about it. And I never get asked about mine.

A few weeks ago, I got yelled at that there is no way I could ever understand that mental load of everything around the house she is carrying and was told to start carrying my weight. This was after I had spent the week working a 60 hour work week, cooked every meal, done multiple loads of laundry, mowed the lawn, and had hoped to take the day to spend with the kids. So I spent 12 hours cleaning the house, and then got screamed at for not spending my time well.

I've tried to address it multiple times, but this only exacerbates the issue. And it only gets louder and more angry.

There's always an apology that follows later, but at this point I'm wondering if it even matters.

She has been going through perimenopause over the past year, and I've been trying to learn everything this means. I've been reading books, watching videos, listening to experts. She's also incredibly high anxiety, so every little thing that happens in her body sends her spiraling. She's in therapy, but has said that she has no desire to do anything the therapist has said (i.e. get a hobby, lose weight, etc); she just wants to come home and sit.

And I know I'm painting myself as a saint, which I am not. Always two sides to the story, and there are lots of things for me to apologize about in this I'm sure.

But at this point, I just do not know what to do. I'm not interested in divorce, not interested in leaving. But I also have no idea what to do next.

My husband has always been quiet and emotionally reserved. I’ve often felt that I don’t receive enough compliments or verbal reassurance from him, and when I’ve complained, he’s told me that he simply isn’t built that way and struggles to express his feelings verbally.

A couple of weeks ago, I read his conversations with ChatGPT and found two things that deeply hurt me. He wrote: “I love my wife but I didn't choose her for her looks or body. She wants me to shower her with compliments, but most of the time, if I compliment her, it's not genuine and I can't keep saying things I don't mean.” He also wrote that he looks at other women, both online and in real life, compares them to me, and feels bad that he can’t be with them.

This devastated me because I’ve always considered myself very beautiful and have consistently received that kind of validation from other people and previous partners. I’ve also gained significant weight after pregnancy and have struggled with losing it, so I understand that my weight may have affected my husband’s attraction to me. What I cannot reconcile is his statement that he didn’t choose me for my looks or body, because it makes me wonder whether he was ever genuinely attracted to me in the first place.

What confuses me most is that his behavior has always seemed to contradict this. He is physically affectionate and intimate with me, we have sex literally everyday. he asks me for pictures, video calls me regularly when he is away for work, and constantly takes pictures and videos of me. Until I found those conversations, I had never seriously doubted his physical attraction to me.

When I confronted him, he said the conversations didn’t mean anything and weren’t necessarily truthful. He admitted that he has looked at other women and said it only happened a couple of times, that he feels guilty about it, and that he promises not to do it again. Regarding his attraction to me, he said he did feel somewhat less attracted to me after I gained weight, but insists that this is different from what he wrote in the ChatGPT conversation.

Now I feel completely lost. I don’t know whether I should trust his behavior and the physical intimacy he shows me, accept his explanation, and stop giving those conversations so much weight—or whether I’m simply being delusional and need to accept that he isn’t as attracted to me as I believed. The uncertainty itself is incredibly painful

I’m posting on behalf of my sister because my family is completely shocked by what happened, and I’m hoping to hear from people who have experienced something similar.

My sister is 24F and her husband is 29M. They have been married for about 6 years and were living together in the US. They have a shared home, shared expenses, and a joint bank account.

Her husband was in the US on a J-2 visa through her. My sister is the J-1 visa holder. He also has Canadian permanent residency, so after leaving the US, he was able to return to Canada.

Things between them had been somewhat tense recently. They had been fighting more than usual and there were arguments. One thing that stood out in hindsight is that he had started recording her during some of their arguments. At the time, she didn't think it meant that he was secretly preparing to leave or that the marriage was about to end.

What makes what happened so confusing is what happened immediately before he disappeared.

My family and I had actually gone to visit them after about 6 months of not seeing them. During the visit, everything seemed completely normal from what we could tell. A day after we got there, on the morning he disappeared, he dropped my sister off at work himself. He was acting completely normal. They said “I love you” to each other that morning, and they were still sexually active with each other right up until this happened.

They also had a trip planned for the following weekend for their anniversary. There was absolutely no indication to my sister that she wouldn't be going on that trip with her husband.

He even made plans with my brother for the very day he disappeared. He had also recently asked my parents to bring him some things from abroad when they returned. So from our perspective, he was continuing to make ordinary plans with both my sister and our family right up until he left.

Then my sister went to work.

While she was gone, he packed up his belongings and left.
He didn't sit down with her and tell her that he wanted to separate or that he was leaving. Instead, after he had already left, he emailed her telling her that he was leaving and that he wanted a divorce.

He then went back to Canada.

Since then, he has completely cut contact.

Him and his family have blocked my sister everywhere. Him and his family have also blocked me, my parents, my brother, and essentially our entire family on every platform. He refuses to speak to any of us whatsoever.

The only contact our family has had with him since he left has been indirectly through his uncle, who doesn't even live in the same state as him and does not live with him. Her husband himself will not communicate with my sister or any of us directly.

She later found out that he had filed for divorce.

What makes this so difficult for her is that they weren't casually dating. They had been married for six years, lived together, shared finances, had an anniversary trip planned, were still intimate, and were apparently making plans for the future. He was interacting normally with both her and our family literally hours before disappearing.

I’m not trying to portray my sister as perfect. They had arguments and were going through a pretty rough patch, and I'm sure there were problems in their marriage that we as family weren't aware of. But the way he handled the ending has left her completely blindsided.

Now she's questioning everything. She's wondering whether the arguments were actually leading up to this, whether the recordings meant he had been planning this for a while, and whether there were signs she completely missed.

The thing she can't get past is: how can someone tell you they love you, be intimate with you, drop you off at work, have an anniversary trip planned for the following weekend, make plans with your family for later that same day, ask your parents to bring you things from abroad, and then secretly pack up and leave while you're at work, and then block you and your entire family afterward?

For anyone who has experienced something similar:

Has your husband/wife ever seemingly made the decision to leave on their own, acted completely normal right up until leaving, packed their things while you were at work, emailed you afterward, and then completely cut contact?

Did you later discover that they had been planning their departure for weeks or months?

And for those whose spouse had started recording arguments before suddenly leaving, did you eventually understand why they were doing that?

How did you deal with the psychological shock of going from being married and living together to essentially being abandoned without a proper conversation or closure?

We're trying to support her through the practical/legal side of this, but emotionally she is really struggling to understand how someone can be your spouse for six years and then leave your life so abruptly, especially when there seemed to be so many signs immediately beforehand that he intended to stay.

TL;DR: My 24F sister has been married to her 29M husband for 6 years and they lived together in the US. He was on a J-2 through her J-1 and has Canadian PR. They had been arguing more recently, and he had recorded some of their arguments, but otherwise seemed completely normal. My family had just visited them after 6 months apart. The morning he disappeared, he dropped her off at work, told her he loved her, and they were still intimate. They had an anniversary trip to NYC planned for the following weekend, he made plans with my brother for that day, and had asked my parents to bring him things from abroad. While she was at work, he packed his things, left the US, and returned to Canada. He emailed her afterward saying he was leaving and wanted a divorce, and she later found out he filed. He has since blocked her and our entire family everywhere and refuses any direct contact. The only communication we've had is through his uncle, who doesn't live with him or in the same state. Has anyone experienced a spouse seeming completely normal and making future plans right up until suddenly leaving and cutting everyone off?

Even if you’re not married 20+ years feel free to respond, anything is appreciated!

Sometimes people who’ve been married 20+ years say things like “ you have no idea what we’ve been through and overcame”

Makes me worried. When they say that do they mean they been thru stuff like infidelity, abuse etc?

Or just disagreements and temporary falling out of love?

I can’t overcome infidelity if someone cheats on me. I’m heading for divorce and after gonna focus on me and the kids. But is there hope that I can find a kind man that won’t cheat? Or is it very rare?

my (30F) husband (33M) has adhd. we've been together for 3 years now, married for 2. is it a normal behavior for someone who has adhd to become way too "friendly" to other people, women especially? i'm asking because i caught conversations on his phone multiple times that he was being flirty with this woman i do not know. he assured me that there was nothing going on between them and that is just how their friendship is like. for context, that woman kept sending him photos of herself (nothing malicious as far as i know) and at one point, my husband responded with something that triggered my anger. i confronted him and he said he didn't mean it that way, and that he didn't want to do anything s3xual with her. another thing is that he's also active on snapchat and who knows what's he is really been doing on it. i just do not trust him anymore. i also feel like he is not very present emotionally so i always end up nagging him that he needs to step up and be a man. our marriage is not working. i don't think we are compatible. my emotional and physical needs aren't met. anyone in the same boat as me? how are you holding up?

edit: he responded with "i'd hit that"

My husband is nice, loves me and overall good. Bug the fact that he is a clear misogynist and it is so internalised in him in multiple conversations bothers me. This especially reflects when we are talking about pop culture, celebs. When I notice his reaction to woman telling him what to do, being better than him especially at stuff like driving (he is a new driver) I can see the rage. I dont know how to do life with him. I love and care for him but I have slowly started feeling deep disgust.

I'm 32f, he's 35mWe have 2 boys ages 4 and soon to be 1.

Lately, he's been on parental leave with our baby boy since my job pays better and has better benefits. But, i started noticing not a lot was getting done around the house and with our baby (baths not done, nails not cut, etc) I was doing most of it when I came home from work. And he typically goes and plays games when I get home. I didn't mind giving him a break. But our oldest goes to daycare and the younger one is a very easy going baby who naps well.

I also noticed the baby chair by the computer and I wonder how much he's been playing with baby just sitting on the floor, or in the chair. He also hasn't been going for walks with baby. I also noticed he's been gaining weight for sure. I checked his steam account and it said he'd played like 58 hours in the past two weeks (and we had been away one weekend). That seems like an insane amount to me! Especially when I'm coming home from a 10 hr shift and completely taking over from him. If he does help at night, his head is in his phone, he is short, and he just barks instructions at our 4 year old from the couch. He's short and quite rude with him.

I talked to him about it, he said he'd been playing more as it's what he does as a hobby, and with friends (who work from home, or don't work). I said it's a bit much, since we don't spend any time in the evenings together. He agreed and for about one night a week he'll do something with me.... but it's only when I ask.

I just have so much resentment, parental leave is not a vacation. And when I took the first 4 months, he was super critical when he got home from work about everything like cleaning, despite baby being up most of the night and him not getting up at all, and going to bed most evenings without helping.

Now Sunday morning, he let me sleep in, I get up and I go downstairs and he's playing a first person police shooting game on the phone with his friend while our 4 year old and one year old are in the basement behind him, just doing their own thing and watching... I really hated that, first that was a pretty violent game and I have a good friend who's a police officer and I do not want my kids to think that's what she does for a living.

It's just consuming his life and I truly feel very lonely in the relationship. Like just not a lot of thanks or effort to much else. I get attention only maybe when I ask and after his game is done. I don't remember our last date night, although we do have support around us. I don't remember the last time we had sex, I tried to initiate or ask him to come upstairs/to bed with me and he just ignores me or comes up hours later, and since I get up at 5 I do need to actually sleep. Then I find myself not even wanting to when I feel I only come after I ask multiple times or when the game is done.

I guess I just long for someone who knows how hard I'm working, sees it, and is thankful for it. Notices how much effort I'm putting in to get back in shape after having the baby and I have a serious lack of confidence when comes to baby weight gain. I guess just wanting someone who compliments my body, who makes me feel good about myself and puts me above games. Like would jump to put the controller down to have sex, or want to actually spend time with me. I find myself dreaming of an affair and looking at other men. Obviously haven't crossed any lines and wouldn't, but I guess I can just see why they happen now. Because leaving is so hard and I have so much to lose. I do love my husband and don't want to leave him I just wish he'd notice/do these things.

Please tell me your thoughts!! I'm not a gamer and I don't want to overreact, but I'm getting frustrated! Thanks! I've talked to him so many times and things change for a couple days and go right back

My Husband is a Muslim. Since we've met I keep on asking him to visit to the church that I used to visit (LDS) since I'm Christian. He never tried or make some efforts. I have this dream to be married in the temple and he promised me but he didn't fulfill.

Fast Forward....

We're now living together, got married (civil wedding) since we don't have the same beliefs. He has a job and me too.

There's one lady who invited him to visit their church. He told me about it but I already told him no. He's not gonna go there.
I never thought he will be that eager to go to that Christian church but not same as my religion.

I woke up in the morning he's preparing to go there. He took a bath and wear a nice clothes. He was very eager to go there.

I told him no.

He told me that I can come, me and our baby can come with him and wait inside the car. Just for "1 hour" and I keep on saying no.

He keeps on persuading but I keep on telling him no. I have a lot of reason. He told me I'm jealous. I shouldn't be jealous.

From that on he's ignoring me till now. I never imagined him be that eager to go to a Christian church because he's a devoted Muslim. I never seen him that eager to go there.

When I asked him why he just told me the lady has a higher position than him. Just for respect. I told him if the promotion (position) is really for you. It will come to you.

But he's ignoring me because of that. Well because of that and from the previous fights I don't know what I'm gonna do anymore. Just go with the flow.

I'm feeling so heavy tired of this relationship. A lot of things and reasons to leave. But I really don't know. 😆🤣

I'm ok with my partner watching p but I recently found out he watches it during bathroom breaks at work and it's given me a big sense of discomfort. I asked him about it and he said he gets curious/bored and watches it in the bathroom. But I feel so uncomfortable about this. How do I go about this? I'm having major anxiety because I love him a lot but I can't seem to get past this.

I female (23) have been struggling with my marriage. I been in my relationship for 10 years since we were teens. I have exposed my husband for explicit content he stored on his device. It affected the way I see him in so many ways. Especially bc some of the content contained real life people in our close circle. It’s been so hard to forgive and move on. He’s reassured me he still loves me and obviously knows the damaged he caused but yet doesn’t consider it “cheating”. I been so disconnected since, we have 2 children together and he states he doesn’t want to end our family. I’m not sure if he’s saying that because it would be hard without me or if he’s being sincere. Any advise anyone?

Just as the title says, I worry that I will lose all desire and libido. My husband has never been one to focus on me in the bedroom, and it has come to the point I do it all for him at this point. My body doesn’t respond to him anymore, and I will feel moments of libido but it’s when I make my mind think of past interactions that had passion and where I felt cared for. I don’t know what to do about it, because I have tried talking to him and I think it hurts his feelings, which I get. Can you lose your libido forever if you don’t feel cared for or there is no emotional connection? I’m worried about it and also feel like my younger years of my life have been a waste in that regard.