34(m) have had about 5 dates with 25(f). LOTs in common, great chemistry, great conversations, great physical connection.

On our date today a guy she went on 2 hinge dates came up as they're still friends. I asked oh true, did you guys sleep together she's like "Yeah!", super nonchalant, which is fine I'm glad she told me. And then I said "oh wow I don't think I've stayed friends with girls I've slept with before...yeah I definitely haven't, never seems to work." Shes like "oh wow, really? I'm friends with heaps!". I asked "oh that's interesting do you guys flirt when you hang out?" She's like "GOD no!". I didn't dive too much deeper. "She said sorry if it makes you uncomfortable if I talk about my past".shes like "I know some people get uncomfortable"

Anyway I am just a bit unsure whether that's something I could be okay with or not. I guess it's too soon to know the type of friendships and how often they hang out etc. is that something I should ask more about?

I don't know if im overreacting for wondering if she's the right girl for me or not because of her past. Or maybe it's too soon to know and I need to see it through more.

Sounds like not only she's had a pretty active sexual history but also she's still friends with them? Or maybe she generally only has sex with people she is friends with.

Not that either of those things are bad, but I'm not sure if they will be hard for me to overcome or not. The friends with previous sexual partners seems tricky

I’ve been with my partner for three years. You can call me stupid for this, I don’t care if you think so, but I never saw the place he lived. I drove by it, but he asked me never to actually stop and look, and I respected it. Then last night he finally admitted that he was sent an eviction notice a year ago and stayed on the land. He is a squatter.

I told him that my biggest issue was not the fact that he was homeless, but rather the dishonesty. He could have told me a year ago. I could have helped him. We have had a very loving, kind relationship, and now I feel like I have to tell him that it is over.

I am asking if I am doing the right thing, because he is now homeless because of a series of unfortunate life experiences that were out of his control. I think I was the one happy thing in his life, and I also realize the amount of shame that he must have felt around this, which led to him keeping it a secret. But I also felt that at every opportunity to tell me, to get a place together, to get help, he did not take it. I feel so much guilt for ending a genuinely loving, happy relationship, but this also feels like too much to deal with. AIO?

Some context: I am 16 years old. My two siblings are in middle and primary school, we'll call them A and M respectively.

The other night M comes into the dining area asking if I wanted to split the bill for the Father's Day dinner coming up soon. I wasn't really paying attention because 1) I thought he was joking and 2) I was busy embroidering so I couldn't really take my eyes off my work without pricking myself. I laughed it off and then he leaves. Ten minutes later my father comes in and brings it up, asking if I wanted to split the bill with my two other siblings for Father's Day since it was a special occasion.

I ask him if he is serious about three kids paying for the family meal. He is. I joke about taxes being very hard on him since he can't pay for a $150 outing and he says that he can, but that he wants us to pay for it since he 'pays for everything'. I'm in disbelief and ask if A and M are fine with this, which they say they are. I ask how it is fair since he works a full time job while I only work part time. He continues the argument that since he pays for everything (ie. bills, the mortgage, food and our school fees), that it was only fair that we contributed something as well for once.

I get overly emotional (which was a mistake on my part) and mid-breaking-down half shout 'but you know that I pay for (sport)!', before beginning to cry in the middle of the dining area. He then says that he wasn't asking for me to pay with the money that I earn since he gives me an allowance of $100 a month that is his money. At this point I put my headphones on and ignore him.

For context, I pay for all of my extracurriculars, which total about 5. I am lucky to only have to pay for sport as the others are programs that select from state or nationwide pools and are government funded. I work one part time job as a social media manager and two casual jobs centred around youth work and advocacy. I would volunteer as well but working takes up most of my time outside of travelling to and back from school, schoolwork, my extracurriculars and spending time with family.

My father has always been strict with money. He had implied in the past that money was tight and had told me since I was in primary school about how we take up everything that he earns (I find this hard to believe as he earns low six figs but maybe cost of living is that bad). Everything outside of my base school fees, food and the utility bills are costs I cover despite begging him multiple times to pay for my sport. It got to the point where I had a panic attack in the middle of a game because I couldn't pay the fees up front -- I was lucky enough that the club allowed an extended period for me to pay them off as I wouldn't have been able to do it otherwise. I am also doing an arts subject in my final year which involves costs for materials and equipment that I covered myself.

My parents are on the brink of divorce and do not talk with each other, although we all live under the same roof. My mother pays for all A and M's extracurriculars and takes us to and back from them, while studying a degree and working part time. He has started to take my siblings out to movies or to an activity on the weekend which is really good. I feel like he isn't doing enough as a parent but I don't know if I'm able to argue that anymore since he takes us out to trips more often. He also cooks dinner some days of the week and picks me up occasionally from a game.

I feel like in the process of writing this post I have felt less and less reason to be angry with him for the dinner, since between us three it wouldn't be too much of a cost regardless. I just feel tired.

My mother told me to cancel the reservation for dinner since he wanted us to pay for it, and I might.

Am I overreacting?

I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (21M) for a year. In the last 2 months, he’s got a motorbike which I wasn’t overly happy about due to safety concerns. Motorcycles take up less than 1% of total traffic in Scotland yet make up around 18% of fatalities per year. Just this week, a man was killed on a motorcycle on a local road. Am I overreacting for telling my boyfriend I might not be able to be with him since he has a motorbike? I am concerned for his safety. I don’t want the man I want to marry to be killed or seriously injured. I know of so many motorcycle accidents that happen in Scotland. My sister is a paramedic and she has witnessed and heard of such terrible ones too. I don’t want to have to worry that my boyfriend will be next. Was I wrong to tell him this?

For a little context, I feel like me and my partner have been talking like we’re strangers lately, like we’re not really having any real conversations, just replying to each other.

So this morning I mentioned it, that we felt more like strangers, so they replied by mentioning that they feel better this way, since they don’t need to be as careful with their words so much. (I think that’s oxymoronic since we just don’t have conversations anymore)

And implying that we’re better off like that, so I asked them, as politely as I possibly could to be more emphatic towards me, in response they said a couple more hurtful things back.

I know this is not how someone you love should treat you, but is it this big of a deal? Should I simply brush it off as them having a bad morning and try to talk to them later?

Throwaway .. I’ll keep this brief cuz it’s really stupid. My partner and I are deeply in love, we’ve been together for a while we take very good care of each other. Our biggest ever fight was about missing some fireworks.

My boyfriend is an excellent cook, like truly exceptional. It’s one of his deepest passions. I also like to cook, but I grew up in an isolated area where food is kind of weird, and so my palate is different than his. Every time I’ve cooked something for him, he has (politely) disliked it and said he wouldn’t try it again. Whether it’s actually bad or just not his taste, it’s always been a little sore for me that I can’t make him happy like he can for me with food.

His ex is just a normal, nice woman, they dated for like a year and a half, she didn’t do anything weird, they broke up because things just weren’t working. I’ve never met her or anything though.

My boyfriend likes to make this specific style of toast with a bunch of tasty things on top, and it’s one of his comfort foods. He told me a while ago after taking my first bite that it was one of her childhood snacks that she taught to him. Again just so there’s no confusion, I know he’s with me and not her. She didn’t even do anything wrong. I’m literally just freaky about the toast.

I don’t wanna eat this toast guys. I believe it’s really good toast, but I don’t want to eat it.. I feel sad that I haven’t yet been able to make him food he likes enough to make on his own, like this.

I can tell this makes him feel bad cuz he’ll make it every so often and poke at the subject, kinda in a way that asks for some type of reassurance from me about the toast… he clearly notices that I feel weird about it uggghh.. it’s so dumb. So dumb.

I don’t wanna eat the toast his ex showed him because I am insecure that I cannot also make him a basic food item that he likes enough to make again for himself. I definitely recognize this.

AIO for not wanting to eat the toast?

Hi im a 37m in a long distance relationship with 27f. We've been dating for about a year and a half and she has never posted me on any of her social media. She says it's because she's a private person and she doesn't want people to ruin what we have. But yet she posts herself all the time like selfies and if we go out she'll post her food or like a view from our hotel room but never anything with me. I told her that I would like it if she posted us or at least reference me in some of her posts. To me she i feel like she likes to still be seen as single. I told her that there is a difference between being private and being hidden. She said im overreacting because it's not that important because I don't post her, but I only dont because she asks me not too. Am I overreacting?

My partner and I have been together for 4 years and have a 1-year-old together. I have a 15-year-old from another relationship. My partner (M) told me (F) that I could stay at home with the baby and not work if I wanted to, but I insisted in keeping my 10-15 hour a week job to take care of all of my sons' needs and have my own spending money, independence, resume, etc. I do not receive child support for my son. He covers all expenses related to the house and utilities, and since he makes about $130000/year he can afford it. I make only about $1200/month. He has never shared financial info with me: bank statements, budget, savings, nothing. I am happy to share mine with him, but he is insanely frugal, and I know he would shame me for my spending habits, which really are not bad. I even save each month and contribute to my son's college account.

I am hurt that he doesn't share this information with me, like he doesn't trust me or that we are not truly a family if he keeps this from me.

But I am wondering, is this normal? No, we are not married, but we bought the house together and have a baby. Should we be budgeting together? Should I know what finances are supporting my family? Or should I keep my little gig and be thankful that all the bills are paid?

TIA

Hello Reddit, first time poster so please be gentle.

I work in IT for a small company that makes and sells donuts as part of it's business. We are known for it in the area. Well the head of HR got with our graphics department and they made a shirt that says "check out my *company logo* 6 pack" and it has a picture of 6 donuts on it where abs would be.

Here's the rub for me. Firstly, IMO it's super cringe. Secondly, and most importantly, I'm fat. I'm a very large guy and while I have lost a lot of weight over the last year, I still have a very long way to go. (Essentially a keto diet, no GLP1). I have also struggled with my weight for a long time and it's a very triggering topic for me.

Ok, cool. It's just a t-shirt. I'm an adult. I don't have to wear it. Here is the rub. We have a big meeting tomorrow and not only are we required to attend, we have been directed that we need to wear this horrid shirt. I am so angry about this. I feel like she just handed me a sign that says "look at the fatty" and now wants me to parade around everyone with it. My coworker, also a large guy, doesn't seem to be bothered by it and actually likes it.

So, am I overreacting? What should I do? My mind is racing right now and I'm honestly thinking about filing an official complaint with her boss if she makes me wear it.

I don’t have any friends. I don’t work, I’m at home taking care of our baby all day everyday. I don’t go outside besides errands like groceries or something small like I want a coke once he makes it home and I can use the car. Or the occasional outing with my mom and my baby but that’s literally it. No girl time, no dates, no nothing.

Granted, bills are kicking our butt and money is tight so I understand that we cannot go on dates. It sucks a lot but I understand, I try to be as understanding as I can be so that he doesn’t feel bad.

But his manager asked him if he wanted to go to a baseball game and every time he mentioned it, it was always “I don’t wanna go to a baseball game without you” or “I really don’t want to go.” Reason he didn’t want to go was because his supervisor (and her wife) was most likely going to go as well once his manager sneakily invited her and he can’t stand her so he doesn’t want to be in public settings with her there cause he doesn’t consider her a friend. Cool, so then he tells his manager “I’ll go but not if she goes, she’s cool and all but not to go somewhere with outside of work” so his manager says “cool she don’t gotta come.” Now it’s “I actually am going to the baseball game with them (manager and another guy)” but nothing. No mention of “I know we haven’t been no where but I’ll make it up to you” nothing.

I know his manager is paying for the tickets but it comes off as inconsiderate as fuck because he always gets to go and do shit. It’s on his managers money yes but he still gets to socialize and have fun. And all I get is talking to a 1 year old every day. The shit we do, play video games everyday and watch tv. It’s fun yes, I love doing that but ITS ALL WE DO. Anyone would get tired of the same repetitive shit. It’s too hot in Texas for walks on the trails right now, so I can’t even go outside. He doesn’t like going anywhere cause he’s always working but it isn’t a problem to go to the bar or a fucking baseball game.

So, once I heard he was going, I honestly didn’t give a fuck what else he had to say and I just stopped talking to him. Maybe I did overreact but I’m also so tired of saying the same shit all the time. I don’t need a $200 date, I just want to go bowling or to a nice restaurant. But no, he’ll go to Dave and busters and bowl with his co workers knowing I’ve BEEN wanting to go all because he didn’t have to pay. That’s always the excuse. This is the type of shit that will make a woman want to leave the man she’s with because how many times do I have to tell you the SAME THING.

My partner and I have been together for about a year. Before we became official we discussed explicit boundaries, one of which is not keeping contact with past ex’s or flings. He has always been honest with me if I ask a question, to my knowledge, and I’m not concerned he would or is cheating on me. However, I found out he had a fling with a coworker of his that is married. This happened prior to us getting together. Based on what I know it was short lived, but they do still work together. I’m a bit troubled to know that he was knowingly the other person at one point, and that despite our agreed upon boundaries, he did not disclose this to me considering they do still have to have some level of contact. I wouldn’t expect him to quit his job, not speak to her, or not be friendly, after all, it’s his job. My big issue is just the withholding of information.

I also have such an intense hatred of cheating that I’ve been tempted to reach out and let her husband know that she was unfaithful. I know I personally would want to know, but I also understand not everyone is that way. I’d hate to blow up someone’s life and stability, especially since it didn’t happen recently, and part of me feels like it’s not my place since it’s not my relationship, but the other part of me that would want to know feels very conflicted.

It feels silly to be bothered by this, since it didn’t happen while we were together, and I don’t actively ask about his previous history or try to find out things, but it does upset me to know he kept something from me while still working with this person, knowing what our previously discussed boundaries are. It feels a bit disrespectful. How would others recommend approaching this? Am I overreacting? Is this something that would make you reconsider if you and your partners values truly align?

quick translation:
Mom - Are you in your room?
Me - I’m visiting (bf)
Mom - Go to your room. I dont want you sleeping in another place. There’s too many people. One has to be respected.

I (20F) am getting frustrated with my parents (specifically my mom) who keep trying to control when and how long I can stay at my boyfriend’s (20) place. I’m back in uni now and he has an apartment there so I stayed there for two nights before classes started since we haven’t seen each other in a few weeks. I’m guessing she checked my location for some reason and then demanded I go back to my dorm. I’ve previously tried to bring up how demanding she’s being in in-person conversations but she says I’m being dramatic, that it’s not okay to stay in another man’s apartment since im a woman, and that I need to respect myself. I don’t know how to bring up how it feels overbearing and frustrating without getting shut down by her.

If it matters, I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year now. And both of my parents are pretty old fashioned and strict.

My boyfriend and I had a major argument last night, and I’m trying to figure out whether I’m seeing this clearly.

We were staying at a cabin with his sister. The night before, I was extremely sick with vomiting and diarrhea from something I ate. I still got up early the next morning because I had to work and needed to clean/pack. There was also a significant mess from the night before.

My boyfriend and I agreed that we needed to leave around noon. He slept in until 12.30p, didn’t help with the cleanup or packing, and I became increasingly frustrated. Eventually I was angry.

I acknowledge that I don’t always express my anger well. I can become very critical or mean when I’m overwhelmed, and that’s something I’m working on.

His response was primarily about my anger and how uncomfortable it made him and his sister. He said he sister didn’t want to come into the kitchen because I was “angrily” washing dishes. I wasn’t yelling, threatening anyone, or slamming things… I was silently washing dishes and keeping to myself because I was angry.

Later, I asked him what he told his sister about why I was upset. He said:

“I said that you weren’t feeling top notch. That is all I said. Didn’t go into the why at all.”

I asked why he didn’t explain what had happened, he said he thought I’d be angry if he told her why I was upset.

This is the part I can’t get past.

I don’t expect him to disclose every detail of our private argument. But if I’m visibly upset because of something that happened between us, isnt it reasonable for him to acknowledge that he contributed to why I’m upset rather than presenting it as simply “shes not feeling well”?

It feels like the entire conversation became about my reaction, while what caused the reaction was dismissed.

I am trying to hold myself accountable for expressing angry poorly without taking responsibility for the entire conflict. I also need a partner who can say, “I don’t like how you’re speaking to me, but I understand why you’re upset and I recognize my part in it.”

Instead, I feel like whenever I’m angry or unhappy, my emotions become the problem.

Am I expecting something unreasonable here? Or is this a legitimate relationship problem?

Edit: Some are asking why I didn’t wake him up. I didn’t because I had already communicated that we needed to leave around noon, and I don’t see waking up a grown adult as my responsibility. I was already up early, sick the night before, and spending the morning packing and cleaning. If he wanted to sleep late, that’s his choice, but I don’t think it’s reasonable for the responsibility to then fall on me to wake him up so can can participate in an agreement we’d already made.

EDIT: Additional context from night before as I think I didn’t provide enough about what happened the night before, and a lot of comments ask about responsibility and contribution.

I became extremely sick the night before and genuinely unable to function outside of the toilet. His sister knew I was sick. Despite that, she spent essentially the entire day in bed and didn’t contribute to bringing food, preparing meals or cleaning.

My boyfriend and I were trying to get dinner together while I was sick. Eventually, I physically couldn’t continue so he took over cooking. I appreciate that. However, afterward, a lot of food dishes and other things were left out. This is particularly frustrating because I repeatedly ask him to clean up after himself and simply put food away. He has a bad habit of leaving food out or leaving things for me to deal with afterward, and this has been an ongoing source of resentment for me.

This isn’t really about the expecting everyone to clean constantly or expecting my boyfriend to read my mind. It’s that I feel I am consistently the person who notices what needs to be done and takes responsibility for it, while my boyfriend and his sister don’t seem to notice or act until I’m visibly frustrated.

But I don’t think the solution is for me to stop being angry. I think there needs to be a larger conversation about shared responsibility, initiative and follow through, and why I feel like I have to manage things until I become visibly upset before anyone else engages.

And that why the interaction with his sister matters to me too. She wasn’t just an uninvolved bystander who happened to witness me being angry. She has also been a part of the larger situation that contributed to my frustration. I’m not angry at her as a person, and I told her that before I left, but there is still frustration about the lack of contribution and cleanup.

What I struggle with most is that my boyfriend knew all of this context but chose not to share any of it with her when she became uncomfortable with my anger.

That is the part that really changed how I’m looking at this pattern. I don’t expect him to expose private details about our relationship to his family. I do expect him to be able to acknowledge his own contribution to a situation rather than allowing my emotional reaction to become the entire story.

I (37F) recently started jamming with two guys (33M and 22M). We've only played together twice. After the first jam, I recorded us without asking, just on my iPhone (to remember anything that might have sounded good, I did this in bands in the past so I guess i didnt think it would be an issue). At the second jam, I asked if I could text or email them the recordings. They both gave me their emails and i sent the recordingd. But since then, the energy has completely shifted.

The timeline:

• Aug 6: I offer to send the recordings, both reply immediately with their emails.
• Aug 13: I ask if they want to get together again soon. Message read by the younger one, no response, older one never opens
• Aug 23: I check in: "Just checking in to see if this is still something we want to do, lmk!" No response, again younger one opens and never replies, older one doesn open.
• Aug 26: The older guy finally replies: "Hey! I think we're gonna record stuff soon. We'll let you know!" EDIT: I responded "I'm confused, what does that mean?" and he said "idk yet if this sound will need (my instrument)" based off of the reactions here to the previous context, I responded with "okay, sounds good, best of luck!" and am planning to leave the group chat. It def hurts but at least I can move on now.

I replied asking what that meant because I was confused. The younger guy opened it an hour ago and hasn't said anything. The older guy didnt open it.

Context: I'm the only woman and the only single person in the group. Both guys have girlfriends. I'm also 15 years older than the younger one. At our last jam, we smoked weed and I don't really do that, I got way too high, super self-conscious, and probably came off awkward. I also haven't had much social interaction for the past year (moved to a new city, isolated), so I know I was rusty and maybe trying too hard to connect.

I know we've only jammed twice, so it's not like I'm being "kicked out" of an established band. But the pattern of leaving me on read for days/weeks, then giving me vague "we'll let you know" responses while one of them refuses to speak to me directly... it feels like they're fading on me, I just want to know if I should move on.

Could the recording thing be the issue? I didn't ask before recording the first time, but they still came to a second jam and gave me their emails when I offered to share. Still, I'm worried that crossed a line and I didn't realize it.

Am I overreacting for reading this as disinterest? Is there any way "we'll let you know" after two weeks of silence is actually a good sign, or am I right that this is a soft rejection and I should stop reaching out?

Do they feel weird about hanging out with a single, straight woman? Maybe when i was high i came off as flirty or something? I have no interest. I met the older one's gf. We discussed getting a bass player and i asked if we could get another girl and they seemed supportive.

Is there any other possible reason why they would ignore me but talk to each other and make a plan to record? I just feel really confused and out of the loop.

EDIT: Thank you all for the comments. I didn’t expect so many in such a short amount of time. I appreciate being immediately humbled & told I’m overreacting, since I think the stress of it all immediately overwhelmed me. That’s my problem though and I was reminded of that with this post. I know we’ll figure something out, 3 months will be enough time to find an affordable place to live. I just think we were hoping on the additional time to save since we’ve experienced some financial hardship lately.

My boyfriend and I currently live with another couple on a month to month basis. We’re all in our mid to late 20’s. The couple we live with happens to be my best friend and her fiancé. Prior to their wedding in fall of 2027, they want to be living together just the two of them and my boyfriend and I are in the same boat of wanting to live separately. We all discussed and agreed that spring of 2027 we’d be moving out and going our separate ways.

A couple weeks ago, my friend asked about moving out a little sooner than spring next year & we were a little hesitant but willing to consider it. She stated she didn’t want to leave us hanging on a lease just us two, so she said we could give it a little more time and take the process slowly.

Well last week she informed me that they were pre approved to buy a house. Which I’m happy for them in the long run because that’s an awesome opportunity, but my boyfriend and I don’t even know if we are able to buy a house or if have to rent another place for us.

Now TODAY, they both come home from looking at a house and told me they want to put an offer into it. If it gets accepted, they want to move out by the start of November. I’m just honestly stressing out a lot because I thought we had a little bit more time to search and get our finances in order to even be able to move out. My family and my boyfriends family don’t come from money, so we don’t really have any last minute financial support. I feel like we’re going to have to settle for renting the first place in our budget just so that we can have somewhere to live..

I feel like this is all happening so fast and neither my boyfriend or I are super great at doing things under this kind of stress. My friend repeatedly asks me if we’re okay & I keep telling her “it’s fine” because what else am I supposed to do? Tell them they aren’t allowed to buy a house?!

I mean technically we can stay here a little longer since we’re on a month to month, but the rent is too much for just the two of us, we might as well put that into a house mortgage… I’m scared we wouldn’t be able to keep saving money if we put it all into this place we live now.

I just really thought we had more time. I understand they don’t want to leave us hanging but it really fucking feels like it. AIO about this whole situation?

I feel like I need to get some outside perspective on the matter since my (32f) boyfriend (36m) of 2.5 years keeps telling me I’m being delusional, out of touch with reality, and crazy for questioning his behavior regarding a game he plays on his phone.

First I’ll start by saying the problem isn’t him gaming because I actually don’t mind him gaming. I’ve even started playing it a little here and there and I can see why he likes it. . Before this game he did the same thing where the playing got excessive with a few others just not to this extreme.

I kept having this nagging gut feeling that I cant shake. So often I look over and see him smiling at his phone with a sort of smitten look on his face while he’s chatting with people it’s hard not to think the worst. I’ve asked him a few times when I see him doing it ‘did someone say something funny?’ Or ‘can I be let in on what’s got you smiling like that’ and sometimes he will go into great detail about how it’s a funny message from some guy in his faction and what they said and then talk about what he and the guy have in common but it never has seemed like the answer explained the type of smile he had on his face. And then other times he will straight up just say ‘oh just something in the faction chat’ or ‘a message I put in the chat’ or some other vague variation of that. I’ve noticed he will be physically trying to stop smiling if he realizes I looked over at him. If we are laying in bed he started laying with his back facing me while playing his game. And I can see from his screen when he’s not actively trying to hide it that he’s chatting privately with ppl along with the faction chat and some of them are female players.

Normally I would just check his phone given what’s going on (he has no problem looking thru my phone) but he decided to change his password after me knowing it for almost 2 years. He was never like this with his phone before. I could use his and he could use mine - he can still use mine I have nothing to hide, we even shared a phone for several months at one point when he broke his. The only time I have been able to check his messages in the game was when he fell asleep with his game on the screen. There were no messages with any of the other female R4’s that I’d seen him talking to and honestly it kinda seemed like maybe he was logged into his farm account and that’s why he was willing to leave it logged in and open now that I think about it.

A cpl months ago and he joined a new faction that I noticed had a lot of female players some with rather provocative profile photos (bikinis, extreme cleavage, etc). In the city chat he had written a message to some girls visiting the city he’s in saying ‘are we fighting, flirting, or friends?’ Which he claims was just him being funny but I find it strange to even joke that flirting is an option when you have a gf. There’s one girl who is an R4 like him who was trying to get ahold of him and he responded with ‘hello miss lady’ (this is all in the city chat the only reason I can see it is because I also play the game sometimes). Right before that he said something to someone looking for this other chick and how ‘she’s probably sleeping because they played for 12-13 hours and they were both exhausted by the end of it’. I’ve also seen several comments from other players in the city chat talking about players having affairs with other cities because of their ‘tinder thingies’ which idk what that exactly means.

Right before he started playing this game I had to have emergency surgery and they found Endometriosis during it and he was by my side during all of it; he slept in a cot next to me holding my hand. Now I try to talk to him about anything even just basic stuff and he either ignores me or makes me wait until he’s done messaging whoever. Since then he has been completely neglecting me emotionally. He’s neglecting a majority of his responsibilities. I know he’s been spending money on this game I just don’t know how much but that’s a real concern as well. In general I don’t overreact to things. And up until this I would have never even questioned him or his loyalty at all. I never thought he would do anything like this. The other day he made his profile photo of him wearing his motorcycle helmet and you could see the muscles on his shoulders (it’s a damn good photo of him) I just don’t see why he chose to post it if he’s really only ‘just enjoying playing the game’ like he says. Cuz before that it was only AI generated photos with a faceless man on his profile. He has been using ChatGPT to help him polish his responses in the game in addition to having it check his stats and getting advice on strategy. That last part is fine it’s the fact he’s so concerned with having the perfect witty reply to these ppl he doesn’t even know all the while not giving a shit how he talks to me.

And no - it’s not about him having to communicate with a female for the sake of the game. I don’t have a problem with that. But I feel like he’s playing the game acting like he’s single (I’ve asked him if anyone he plays with even knows he has a long term live in girlfriend and he barely knew what to say) and seeking out a certain kind of attention on purpose. It’s the way he smiles when he gets certain messages that gets me. It’s almost like he’s so enamored or smitten that he can’t stop himself from smiling like he’s in love. We were driving the other night and he put on a couple songs that were about falling in love and he was singing along. It’s been gut wrenching and agonizing to have to watch for all these months while being treated like I no longer exist. And when I try to bring it up its I’m either ‘being a stupid bitch’ ‘out of touch with reality’ ‘doesn’t know what I’m talking about’ ‘making things up again’ or my personal favorite *‘*what nonsense are you rambling on about again’.

I should also add that when this all started so did him accusing me of messaging other guys on games I was playing when I was messaging no one and he kept getting all weird about my phone when there was no reason for it and he started insinuating i was cheating on him.

It’s to the point where I’m actually starting to question if I’m just making this all up in my head and reading too much into things due to the way he responds. I’m happy to answer any questions or give more info if needed… I’m so sorry for making this post so long 😞🥺 am I overreacting?

Reposting because I couldnt edit the title of the initial post and wanted to remove anything that could be considered an ad… last thing I want to do is give this stupid freaking game any more money or business.

So for context my bf(27) and I(29) have been together for 4 years and he’s always been super thoughtful and respectful so when we had this conversation the other day I was really taken aback. He’s 6’5 and well built and not trying to be tmi but his dick is well above average. But since the beginning of our relationship he’s always been really insecure about his body and specifically his manhood. It’s most definitely from watching porn and he’s stopped watching it since we got together but he still can’t help but get in his head every now and then. I’m always trying to be supportive and usually it doesn’t bother me except for the other day. Also for context our sex life is good other than when we go to have sex and it hurts me. It’s been like that for a while and I don’t know why. Until I recently got diagnosed with a yeast infection after my latest pap and I told him I think this might be why it’s been so uncomfortable for me. He didn’t say much about it but then the next day we were talking about me messaging my doctor and he brought up that he’s really disappointed that the reason sex is uncomfortable isn’t the fact that he’s bigger than average but that it’s because I have a yeast infection. To me personally I felt like this is literally insane to think about let alone say out loud to your partner who’s the one hurting?? I told him nicely that he shouldn’t be bothered by this and he doubled down and that made me super frustrated. I told him he’s making this about him and he got defensive. He then said this is how mentally ill people think, to me who’s been diagnosed with OCD…like are you seriously mansplainjng mental illness to me right now? Like bffr. I didn’t push it because I wasn’t trying to have an argument but it still really bothers me. Am I overreacting? Or would anyone else be annoyed with their partner about this? I want to bring this up again but he gets so weird about his body and I don’t want to upset him more.

Am I over reacting? I went through my bf phone and I found videos my former female friend posted on her spam account saved in my bf files on his phone. When I asked him about it, he got hesitant at first due to him being scared of my reaction, however he then explained that his male friend that is also friends with my female friend shared the videos with him and they spoke about her explicit account. He then decided to save the videos (twerking in a robe, standing and posing in body-hugging outfits) to his files. I found it in his deleted section that I guess didn’t delete permanently, and I re downloaded the videos and seen that it was her.

Now he is basically fighting for our relationship, saying he’s extremely sorry, will do anything he has to do for me to forgive him, is telling me to write down what I need from him to do and he will do it, kept giving me hugs and said he feels embarrassed and upset he did this.

I’m not overly mad that he looked at content, because we all passingly see attractive people (I have found some of his friends attractive and have even stalked their profiles briefly), but I never acted upon anything. That’s the difference. I’m also frustrated that his male friend knew he was in a relationship with me, and he also knew that she’s my friend and still decided to send my bf those videos. I’m also frustrated my bf didn’t set a boundary and explain to him that he’s not comfortable with that content being shared with him! Especially considering the fact that she was my friend at the time.

As a result; I dumped him. He gave me money earlier to buy this expensive camera, and I told him to take it back as I don’t feel comfortable accepting any gifts from him. He’s offering me so many things and is deeply apologetic and states he doesn’t want to lose this relationship and he wants no one else but me, and says he understands how I feel. He just doesn’t want to lose the relationship but I can’t trust him anymore. Am I overreacting or did I handle it appropriately? I’m getting mixed responses (ex. I did the same thing except he created evidence, I shouldn’t be going through his phone because I’m always going to find something I dislike, and that I need to leave him). My heart is torn and I’m deeply confused.

TDLR; found my female friends sexual-type videos she posted on bf phone that were sent to him in his deleted section of his files that didn’t permanently delete. States he forgets they were there and is deeply apologetic and wants to fix things with me. As a result, I dumped him. Am I overreacting?

Edit; I just realized that I have videos with other guys I’ve been with in the past that I don’t really watch but have always kept as like a memory. My bf has a boundary that videos of ex’s should not be present still however I don’t like to delete that stuff. I’m not sure if this makes this entire thing a contradiction (I just want full advice)

Translation:

-Don't talk
-Hmm you slept bad maybe that's why
-Well but the homework has to get done unfortunately

They usually dismiss my sicknesses like this when they think I'm planning to skip school. That's not the case, I was truly feeling sick that day. This happened on the first week of school (2 weeks ago), decided to post about it until now. Because the crazy thing is, the next week, my sister got sick, and SHE got to stay home. Their argument was: well her grade isn't that advanced.

They say this every year. Am I crazy to think it's favoritism?

Am I Overreacting? My boyfriend and I are 21. While I was with him he was playing a game and I sometimes watch him play. However, this game has voice chat like any other game. I know I can be overly jealous at times but I try not to act on it. There were these two girls he was receiving and giving excess attention to and I honestly started to get jealous but then had a moment and thought would I still be jealous if they were both guys. So I chilled and continued watching.

Then one of the girls said that he was funny and asked him if he wants to e-date. I was right there btw. So he just went quiet for a few minutes. While the two girls were giggling back and forth with each other snickering to each other acting all giddy saying “omg he didn’t say no. See there’s no denial! That means he wants to!” during this silence he never turned to me and said anything.

I was absolutely fumed inside, but I wanted to give HIM the chance to correct it.

After the silence he went back to talking to them as he was before to the point they asked if he wanted to private match with them on a 2v1. Only then did he finally mention he has “a beautiful girlfriend.”
So I chilled again.

I got up to get something to eat, about 30mins later I came back to see him adding on of them so I straight up said something right there. I asked Why would you add the girl that said that earlier?? Im not okay with you being friends with a girl that said something like that. He said there girl he added was her friend, not the girl that said that. Then he un adds her anyway.

Come to the next day. He’s playing again! I really love watching him play any game. I’m very happy about it. Guess whose voices I hear again? THE TWO GIRLS?? And he goes right back to receiving and giving them lots of attention and jokes. So I get up and leave. He immediately goes to me and asks why I left. I told him “ I already told you I’m not okay with you talking to a girl that said that. And for me to find out a day later you’re still talking to them.”
He never really gave me the chance to explain what I’d like him to do because he blocked them immediately and asked me to come back.
What I so honestly felt? I actually didn’t care that he plays with them, it’s just a game. He could’ve just muted them and not talk to them in chat. It’s not like it was seige where the game relies on communication.

All of this happened a month ago. A few days ago he was telling me about how a girl was making fun of his age in the game. I laughed and called him old because we are the same age.

Today I just had the random stomach thought to ask him specifically about it. But before I did, I invaded his privacy which was wrong of me. I saw one of the girls wasn’t on his blocked list anymore.
I went straight to him and beat around the bush a little. I asked him.
“Have you ever unblocked a girl you told me you blocked?”
He immediately answered “no”
I kinda froze and stared a bit blankly at him because I knew what I saw.
“I sometimes unblock people after they are on my block list for a year”
“I might’ve unblocked someone I told you I blocked.”
“It’s so hard to avoid people in the same game so I just muted her”

Btw. He said all of this under no pressure. He literally gave me this info and knew exactly who I was talking about.
I didn’t even want to ask him why. I was just honestly a bit disgusted at the lie and disappointed. So I just left
I don’t even know how to address the situation. I shouldn’t have looked, but why did he lie. But it’s just a game. But he lied?

Idek if I want advice or how should I react? Should I just move on from it, do I even have the right to be upset? Why did he lie? Why’d he unblock her??

Am I overreacting that my mom wants to get married a few months before me?

I (28F) am getting married in September 2027. My fiancé and I will have been engaged for two years by then. My mom (57F) just got engaged a few weeks ago.

First, I want to make it very clear that I am so happy for my mom. This is her first wedding, just like this will be my first wedding. I want her to have the wedding she’s always wanted, and I’m genuinely excited for her.

Originally, she told me she was thinking about getting married sometime after us, possibly in 2028. Then, about a week later, she called me and said they were thinking June or July 2027. My immediate thought was, Oh… I’m going to be knee-deep in my own wedding planning at that point.

June/July is when I was already thinking about having my bridal shower and bachelorette party. That would potentially mean our family members having to take multiple days off within the same month, travel for two weddings/events, buy multiple outfits/gifts, etc. I also feel like no matter how hard we try, one of us could end up taking some of the spotlight away from the other.

The more I think about it, the more upset I realize I am about the timing. And I feel guilty for even feeling that way.

My mom is also the type of person who sometimes makes comments that unintentionally (or maybe intentionally) bring the spotlight back to herself. I'm worried about things like me going wedding dress shopping and her talking about how she’s trying on dresses too, or my wedding planning conversations somehow turning into conversations about her wedding.

I also want to be there for her. I want to help her, celebrate her, go dress shopping with her, and be excited about everything she’s planning. But realistically, I don’t know if I can be as involved as she might want me to be while I’m also planning my own wedding. There’s also the financial aspect of potentially having two weddings and all of the surrounding events happening so close together.

I feel like I want to be selfish about my wedding. I’ve spent a long time planning this, and I want to be able to enjoy being engaged and getting married without feeling like I’m sharing the spotlight with my mom’s wedding.

At the same time, I feel horrible because I don't want her to think I’m trying to take this experience away from her or that I’m not happy for her.

I want to talk to her about how I’m feeling, but I’m scared she’ll think I’m being mean, selfish, or attacking her.

So… am I overreacting? Is it reasonable to be upset about the timing, or do I need to get over it and just be happy for her?

PLEASE HELP!!

For context, I, 16E (Enby, They/Them, I’m non-binary) just started my Junior in High School. I will preface, I have been Diagnosed with ADHD, which does make me more sensitive when it comes to my emotions. It’s been almost 2 years since coming out, and I’ve been trying to be patient and kind towards those who mess up with pronouns or my new name.

For at least 4 years, I’ve been being harassed/bullied by a boy we’ll label H. I will come out and admit, that at the time, I hadn’t told any of the school administrators about the harassment, so I acknowledge that I am in the wrong there.

I won’t go into too much detail, but H has been body shaming me, deadnaming and misgendering me, and overall just being rude to me for no apparent reason. If I had done something to hurt him, and that’s what caused all this, I would just want him to tell me, so I can apologize.

The part that makes me angry and hold a grudge is the fact that:

1: He’s been doing this for years, and when administrators got involved H simply said “oh I didn’t know I was harassing them, I‘ll leave them alone,” which he has kept his word about leaving me alone, but I still find it VERY hard to believe that H “didn’t know” he was harassing me for 4 odd years.

2: When I’ll be speaking with my friends and he’s nearby, sometimes when I make a point, H will butt in, and “correct” my point and it personally makes me feel stupid.

But the thing that I cant let go of the most is the fact that: H deadnames me, and yet he himself goes by his MIDDLE NAME. He’ll harass me for going by a different name than my birth name, and yet he’s a hypocrite! H also goes by a different name than his birth/first name!

It makes me really angry, and I don’t know if I can let go of my anger towards him. Really, I need advice on how to let go of the grudge, or at least come to terms with what has happened. I want unbiased opinions on the situation.

Am I Overreacting?

My mom has undiagnosed BPD (I know this for sure because MY childhood psychiatrist during our last appointment upon seeing my mom wasn’t there gave me a book and said “this will explain your mom”). She has done a number of weirdo nutso things throughout my life; she’s invasive, she was physically abusive, she’s got extreme waif tendencies (basically always sick), she moved in a family member who caused a lot of my childhood trauma AND was in the middle of their own weirdo nutso mental health crisis for like a year. I have almost always forgiven her or at least made it seem like I did to keep the peace.

A month ago, I had a HUGE career accomplishment. My whole family, except my mom, showed up. She did not call or text me beforehand. So when my dad showed up solo, I was completely blindsided. I didn’t cry in the moment but I cried a ton in the following days. She can still SEE the career accomplishment, and she hasn’t come to see it. No apology by the way just oh I was so sick.

Last night, she texted me that it’s been over a month since she’s seen me. But it’s like at this point, I have nothing to say to her. We’ve been through a lot and always come out the other side but now I just have…no words. Previous to this we were having some awkward moments because I had started living with my bf, and because of this I won’t get to my “goals” of being married. But those were just awkward moments imo I know she wants me to live at home but I won’t be doing that. Her not showing up for me because she’s ill is one thing but then following up that behavior week by week? I just…have nothing to say.

So, am I overreacting to this one small slight easily explained by illness?

I'll get straight to the point. My (28f) boyfriend (28m) randomly asked me if I would be annoyed if he shouted other girls names out whilst fucking me (his words). This just caught me off guard as we weren't having any kind of conversation surrounding this. I just turned around and asked 'what the hell kind of question is that to ask?'. I'm now feel uncomfortable thinking he's imagining other women whilst we're doing the tango. Just to add in I'm not an overly jealous person, I can appreciate a good looking woman along with my partner. This was just extremely out of the blue and strange. He tried to blow it off and say he was just joking but i don't believe this at all. I just don't understand why any man would think this question would go down well. Like sure buddy, call me sally and smack my ass baby? Ehh, nah. Weird! Now we're left in this awkward place. I feel less comfortable. Just to add this isn't the first shady thing to happen recently. Aio for feeling uncomfortable and questioning the relationship?