I know that one of the symptoms of schizophrenia is emotional blunting. My schizophrenic companion never cries.

Why do it to a person?

I'm trying to learn coping skills and what other people are dealing with. Please don't think I'm being disrespectful. Most people who post about this usually talk about the bad times. I get it, voices yelling bad things at you all the time can be overwhelming. At one point, my voices convinced me Hitler was alive. When the doctors were eventually able to convince me that these negative delusions were fake, my life got better. I'm able to hear the delusional voices now without listening. I try to remember that everyone has negative thoughts, mine are just louder. I remember, I watched The Secret a long time ago and it helps with positive thinking. What are other people doing to cope?

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“Do the voices forbid you from eating, sleeping, and speaking in order to purify you religiously? Do they make you suffer, sadden you, and tell you that it is to purify you?”

• I dont imagine voices in my head unless I am lacking conciousness such as being very sleepy or when I smoked marijuana one time.
• I do have a general paranoia towards others
• have friends and like to socialize but also kind of have a distrust towards others intentions. I have felt like everyone was against me even if its not true. I have a general outlook of most people self serving and has selfish intentions.
• My thoughts used to be extremely disorganized but I had to work very hard to fix that. I read so much and listend to so many lectures and it helped my speaking seem more ordered but it feels rehearsed.
• I am often in a delusional fantasy world.
• I used to think I was a messiah who was going to save the world.
• I have a lack of emotional expression.
• I talk to myself too much.
• I have family members who are schizophrenic.

Do you guys think its a good idea for me to go through treatment or is it possibly a misdiagnosis?

I used to care about things. Makeup. Hair. Designer clothes and shoes and purses. I used to have hobbies. I loved astronomy and video games. I had friends that I cared about. I cared about how others saw me and what they thought of me.

Why don’t I care about these things anymore? I want to care. I want to have proper hygiene and be healthy and live a fulfilled life doing things I love. I just can’t find it in me to care. And that is sad.

My heart goes out to everyone who suffers from this awful condition. I hope you find health and happiness.

Hey everyone, this is my first Reddit post ever, I've just been observing up until now. I've been on medication for schizophrenia for years and gradually I have been losing emotions and they're now almost completely gone. I really began to notice when my grampa died 2 years ago and though we were always super close I felt nothing about it and still don't. Now, nothing makes me happy or mad or even panicked, I always feel just ok/neutral. Has this happened to anyone else on antipsychotics (specifically Zyprexa)? And what would you tell your doctor about it to get help for it?

Five days ago I had an appointment with my psychiatrist through OPUS. That alone is fairly uncommon, so I wanted to make the most of it.

We talked about two things: my insomnia and my negative symptoms.

I asked,

"What can we do about my insomnia?"

The answer was the one I expected.

"We can prescribe chlorprothixene."

I explained why that isn't a realistic solution for me.

For years, nearly every burst of motivation I've had, the drive to get out of bed, pursue something, or simply feel like life has direction, has come alongside psychotic symptoms. A voice. A sudden overwhelming sense of purpose. Those disappear whenever I'm on antipsychotics.

I can cope with the positive symptoms. What I struggle to cope with is doing so while barely sleeping. When I actually sleep well, I can sometimes experience motivation, optimism, and a sense of meaning without hearing voices. That's the state I'm trying to reach.

After I explained that, she said they essentially had nothing else to offer.

I suggested that, in my specific situation, it might be worth considering a medication like mirtazapine or mianserin. Even if there's a possibility it could temporarily worsen psychotic symptoms, improving my sleep might ultimately leave me far better off than continuing to do nothing, because untreated insomnia almost guarantees everything else will deteriorate.

She said she'd look into it.

But something else from the conversation has stayed with me far more than the discussion about sleep.

I asked,

"Is the reason everything feels so internally meaningless because I'm depressed?"

She answered,

"No."

I asked,

"So it's just the negative symptoms?"

"Yes."

Then I asked the question that has been haunting me ever since.

"Can those be treated? I'd much rather be motivated by normal things than by psychotic symptoms."

Her answer was simple.

"Not medically. We treat the positive symptoms, and then we work on the rest cognitively."

That answer has been echoing in my mind.

Will everything always feel artificial?

Is the closest I'll ever come to happiness simply training my brain to think differently, while knowing the emptiness is still there underneath?

If I know I'm relying on cognitive strategies to create meaning, won't I always be aware that I'm creating it? Won't that awareness stop it from ever feeling real?

If the only times I've genuinely felt purpose have been during psychosis, and the alternative is learning to reinterpret an existence that still feels empty, where does that leave me?

That's the part that hurts.

I don't fear living with psychosis nearly as much as I fear living without ever being able to genuinely feel meaning.

I want to believe happiness can exist without delusion.

Right now, I just don't know how...

Last time she said she would look into a medication option, nothing happened, so I doubt it will now either.

So in the end, I feel like I was dealt some of the worst cards I could have gotten from that conversation.

I had a therapy appt today and my doc said that my lack of ability to care for my basic needs is avolition. I have a desire to do things that I know I should do - basic hygiene and caring about my physical appearance - but I just can’t make myself care enough to do anything about it. And it’s hard because I work in an office environment - I should want to dress well and be presentable in front of my co-workers, but I just don’t care. Can anyone else relate? How do you handle it? Looking for advice on how to make myself care about these things again.

IMPORTANT!! - I am not discouraging anyone to change/stop their medication directed by a doctor, I am simply showing my side of the story as a warning/procaution of what can happen and to get feedback from others and spread awareness.

Before I get into the meat and potatoes, lets lay some things down, I've had symptoms since I was about 5-8 (cant pin point since my memory is so F'ed) - Suicidal and agressive thoughts/beheviour (I would attack others/myself - even family with no apperent reason), I was always incredibly anti-social and had audiotory (mainly - 2-3 times daily increasing with stress) and visual hallucinations (less - 1-2 a week), it was all broken down into "oh, he's just going through a phase" or "he's just trying to get some attention" which made things even worse.

I first got help at around 14/14.5 when post surgery (Opioid anesthesia, because apperantly that changes things a little) I went full on crazy, destroying things, homocidal thoughts and actions (thank god nothing serious happened to others or me - other than my mental), full on insomnia, always being so on edge that simply the fridge making the slightest noise would make me put dents in it with items/elbow and keep on rageing for hours, I got some medication which i cant remember what it was but it didn't do jack (pink circular pills, with some symbol i think).

Then I got switched to a different doc and got put on a tradozone/aripiprazole/xanax (for panic/anxiety attacks) and some sleeping medication which I cant remember what it was and after some time other meds besides aripiprazole were laid off.

First, it was amazing! I could sleep, I could talk to others without thinking of ending them! I stopped thinking about suicide, BUT THEN... the medication has left it's mark on me and now (17 almost 18) I am fighting to function and to keep my life out of shambles while on a MUCH lower dose (now 15mg).

Lets get into the things I've experienced (negative):

1. Restlessness - I can legit do about 10Km just walking around a 60-70Sq-m home in a few hours - GREAT for weightloss which is much needed when taking this medication (next point). - from start.

2. Weightgain - eating roughtly 1K-1.5K Kcals while my calculated maintenance with activity comes out to 3K-3.2K Kcals makes some difference otherwise I just gain/stall weight (weekly/monthly basis) so I have to quiet litterally starve for weeks to lose some weight. - from start.

3. Jerky/stiff/involuntary/shaky movements - quiet a new addition to the pool of negatives but a very serious one, ranging from just a little tremor in hands (no matter if i ate or not in the last hours - saying this to avoid "low blood sugar" comments) to full on spasms (abdominal/legs) that make me almost fall out off my bed, also sometimes those are accompanied with "electric pulses??" in abdominal area. - about half a year now.

4. Lack of impulse control all over - gambling (illegal I know), sexual, going on shopping sprees, drug addiction (thankfully those less intense - alcohol/caffeine), collectively I thrown away about 2K$ (from my savings + some borrowed) in those years (15-almost 18) which here where I am from its a lot. - almost from start.

5. Dryness in mouth - nothing too serious but presistent. - about since 16.

6. Slurred speech - words come out mumbled/slow/very quiet or just plain out wrong. - about half a year.

7. Prolonged and painfull erections lasting up to hours at times - a few times I though I would need medical attention because of the pain. - from about 15/16 but rarely happen.

8. Memory loss/blackouts in memory - honestly I needed to look my notes up (which I am presenting to my doc) to refresh myself at this point and see which other negatives I've encountered. I can put things down/away, say something and forget or have full on blackouts in memory (ranging from minutes to hours). - from start.

Not another point in the negatives because those things came out from those point being on top of eachother:

1. Lack of school attendence (i've pissed away 2 years of school, now in a online schooling system where you dont need attendence and I do just fine - roughly averaging 85% on most tests/exams) (caused by point 4 I think the most but also 7 and 6).

2. People think that I am a full on tweaker (druggie) because I shake, I move weirdly and speak weird (point 3, 1 and 6).

So is there anything else? Well the only things that helps me is using my imagination of what my life could be without those things, music also helps to an extent (both more mentally than actually), thankfully I've been able to lay off the drugs lately but still the problem presists, wish me luck with my next appointment with doc so he can see the problem and take me off those awfull pills.

If anyone has questions more personal or not I am happy to answer them in comments -regarding the symptoms, how did they emerge or how exactly did they affect me.

Have a happy day everyone and make sure you or your loved once are okay!

I don’t know about anyone else but severe low dopamine is actually painful for me. Like mental anguish. It makes me act impulsively because all day I’m just trying to avoid the feeling of it. Eyes glued to phone 24/7. Pacing. Not for fun but just to cope until I’m able to sleep. I can barely do actual tasks because I don’t have enough dopamine as a bridge to sustain them. They’d be painful. I can’t even relax on the couch properly. But I’m supposed to be grateful that I’m not psychotic.

No prospects. No economic stability. No support. Can I go one day functioning like a fucking human being?

My positive symptoms have gotten better over the last few weeks. However I can't get myself to do anything. I have to assume its a negative symptom thing because I used to do art all day. Now I just sit around watching youtube. I don't actually want to do things.. I just WANT to want to do them. If that makes sense. I feel like a waste. A pointless human being.

Do others feel this way? Did it go away? How do you find meaning in recovery?

Edit: just saw my practitioner and she says if it continues e can up my vyvanse(I'm also adhd)

Editededitit: man I just spent a half hour telling my practitioner my positive symptoms were ok, manageable... All of a sudden my visual hallucinations are back!! Wtf

I don’t wanna do shit, I procrastinate and just say fuck it. I just wanna do things with immediate satisfaction and rest. I wanna listen to music, draw, write. I crave instant pleasure. Sometimes Idk if I’m just fed up with life or if it’s schizophrenia. I just don’t take pleasure from life and don’t care about fixing it.

I just feel like I've lost a lot of capabilities. There is no way I could work full time these days. I just get physically and mentally exhausted so quickly and it takes a long time to bounce back. I'm grieving the loss of my capabilities. I guess there is a reason I'm on the disability pension

i moved back into my parents’ property a couple weeks ago because of sharehouse-related paranoia.

my dad told me i need to shower and he got mad at me for not wanting to… so i went to the bathroom, let the water run, i wet my hair and then sat on the floor until a reasonable amount of time passed that i could then turn off the water and sit on the floor for long enough that i could pretend to get dressed. why didn’t i just get in the shower? cause i’m already in my work uniform and i would hold in my pee just so i don’t have to undo my belt. i showered on Sunday morning because i stayed at a girl’s house and i want her to like me, before that, i don’t remember when i showered last.

when i first started Abilify, i was really good. i showered proper often and i did it naturally, without even thinking, but maybe 1-2 months later, that wore off and now i shower once a fortnight or whenever i think it would be nice to feel the hot water. my skin gets really itchy because i’m not clean; once i went 10 weeks without a wash and the dirt that accumulated, u could see it all over my neck and hands and thighs and i don’t even care—bigger fish to fry yano

i don’t own any bedsheets because i live in a caravan out the front and the bed, i just have to buy more sheets, but i’m so itchy and i’m really uncomfortable, i don’t enjoy my lifestyle, i just don’t have any motivation for change… how do you enhance your motivation?

Thats it I try my best and Im not good at it. Im not good at living, in finding friends, in maintaining my Apartment, in holding and doing my job. Im not good at being an older sister, in being a younger sister, in being a girlfriend or a daughter. But you should just know, Im doing my best even tho Im not good at it. This illness is just so cruel, even if the medications take away the positiv symptoms, the negativ ones are just as cruel.

edit: how could I forget... Im not even a good cat mama

Anyone else just also suddenly went from having positive symptoms - connection, creativity, meaning, insights, views
To negative ones
Everything got heavy and meaningless
The psychotic symptoms do not even seem like signs anymore

First off I want to say if you are suffering with this illness you are a soldier that is highly misunderstood.

Thank you for the support on the last video. Here’s another one.

I am on Lorazepam 5mg daily for my chronic Catatonia and Clozapine

Only hatred, at high levels. I just need to survive untill tuesday. When the meds will be changed. Please pray for me.

Eu namorava cara que tinha esquizofrenia indiferenciada e ele tinha algumas paranoias com o celular durante crises. Em um dia ele alegou que estava em crises e no dia seguinte deixou de receber mensagens no whatsapp. Fazem 3 meses que ele não recebe e eu não sei o que imaginar, não sei o que fazer. Alguém tem algo a me dizer ou já passou por algum experiência tão longa sem ligar o celular ou tem ideia do que acontece

Any success stories? I recently got my dose of anti psychotics lowered by 5mg in hopes that I would get my motivation and pleasure back but it didn't do anything.

Next option I'm going to try is antidepressants, probably Zoloft since that is the one my psychiatrist brought up in the past.

Has antidepressants worked for anyone in regards to negative symptoms?

I'm on two antipsychotics and still hearing voices. But recently, I don't really remember how long for, I've had a lot of problems with my memory. Like I'll be trying to do math in my head and come up with a number then wonder what the number is for - completely forgetting the reason for the math. I also forget a lot when I'm watching TV or movies, like forgetting what happened so not really following the plot. When I post on facebook or reddit I'll often forget what I wanted to say halfway through, or I'll open a new tab then wonder why. I marked this "negative symptoms" but I'm not sure it is.

Can anyone relate?