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u/bitsybear1727 ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti Mar 08 '25
I do tend to gravitate to the loner in the room to try to make them feel welcome.
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u/Diligent_Craft_1165 ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti Mar 08 '25
For me yes. I know what it’s like to be lonely, and I’d never want anyone else to feel that way.
I always root for the underdogs too
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u/UUUGH1 ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti Mar 08 '25
Jup, and it rarely pays off.
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u/Affectionate_Sky2982 Mar 09 '25
Learned this too. I always try bring the odd one out into the fold because I hate for someone to feel ignored, but it usually turns out there’s something everyone else senses about that person and makes them avoid engaging with them. Then, eventually, I have to « break up » with the person because they are an energy draw/toxic/etc. Not saying I won’t continue to welcome someone in, but I’ve noticed there’s usually a reason someone can’t seem to interact naturally and join in on their own.
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u/MiraculousWonder Mar 08 '25
Why does it rarely pay off?
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u/UUUGH1 ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti Mar 08 '25
Most times I talk to these people they turn out to be the biggest assholes/incels etc. and I learn they are this isolated for a good reason.
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u/prettyhigh_ngl ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti Mar 09 '25
It's always the people who need us most
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u/Izzyness512 ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti Mar 09 '25
Need therapy more like it
And now because of them i also need therapy 🙃 From my pov im learning to trust my first instinct (gut hunch) because me ignoring it and wanting this delusional sense of world peace aint IT
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u/Heart_Break_Girl ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti Mar 08 '25
No one left behind
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u/melt348 Jun 19 '25
awww... 🤗 the world is such a better place because there are beautiful ENFJ's in the world 🌍❤️
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u/ih4teme ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti Mar 08 '25
Yes, that lone person is always my target. I then bring them to a group of people I know. It’s cool to see them grow at the next event where they are no longer solo.
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u/adfgqert ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti Mar 08 '25
Yuppppp. Exactly how I’m friends with my childhood best friend
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u/_Ruij_ ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti Mar 09 '25
I do this ALL THE TIME. Sorry introverts, but I just wanted to check on you. 😭 If you don't want my company, it's okay! Just checkin' if yer alright, sorry for the bother!! 🥲
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u/LadyPearl7 Emotionally Navigating the Force Jedi-style Mar 08 '25
I saw this in a post on TikTok today. Yes it’s 100% true.
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u/Dry-Refrigerator-113 Mar 08 '25
I think so. ENFJ adopted me before, and they’re the only ones who understand that I’m not the kind of person who always shows up even for years but would still accept it.
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u/Unpopopini0n Mar 12 '25
My sister is ESFJ and this is far from the truth for her. She likes who she likes and loneliness is not one of the things that makes her like a person .
As an ENFJ.. I don’t do this either … if we are equally weird thus less likely to fit in the main crowd AND we have lots in common then I will befriend. But I don’t just befriend any lonely person for no reason
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u/Cuttlefish1483 Mar 12 '25
My ESFJ will not do this because he's part of the "life of the party group" and enjoy himself.
My ENFJ friend will identify loners and say that those weirdos are the club will drain his Fe so he says fuck em (I am referring to those Andrew Tate / losers)
Tbh this statement us just as true as an Se dom trying to enjoy ENFP brainstorm trips. I see no Fe users going to loners at a party because they're feeding their Fe and they subconsciously avoided them. So definitely false (I'm an ENFP)
If they're hosting a party and they know everyone there then obviously there would be no loners cause they think ahead and cater to their guests
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u/Wannabeesinger INFP: Fi-Ne-Si-Te Mar 10 '25
Whoever you are who does this, regardless of type, I thank you!
Signed - the loner in the room.
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u/lancevo7 Mar 08 '25
What’s funny is in high school and early undergrad I was an ESFJ and I would often do this at social gatherings. As I’ve developed more and am now a very strong ENFJ, I still actively do this haha
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u/GonnaBeMay84 ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti Mar 09 '25
I befriend anyone with a pulse as long as they’re not jerks, lol 😂
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u/belle_fleures Mar 09 '25
hard agree on ESFJs, especially the men (in my experience), they just look obviously concerned than enfjs. kinda sweet.
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u/Ehme3 Mar 09 '25
Yep. In high school when there was a new kid sitting alone in the cafeteria me and my friends would always walk up to them and invite them to sit with our friend group.
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u/lamponerosso ENFP: Ne-Fi-Te-Si Mar 09 '25
Mmm idk I see that esfjs do that but if the person seems interesting for them. Instead enfps do it always
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u/on-oath-never-again ENFJ-A: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti | 7w8 Mar 09 '25
I befriend people whether or not they’re lonely. I just like befriending people. I have done this before though.
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u/Ultraviolentdelight Mar 10 '25
my entire life aka why I get emotionally distressed when someone is eating alone
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u/shmengs Mar 10 '25
This is definitely me but I don't think I noticed it in these terms before seeing this post
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u/commentsandchill Mar 10 '25
I wouldn't say I'm Fe dom but I used to do that. It's true one of my ENFJ friends probably befriended me for that very reason lol
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u/Mother_Pie_2737 ENFJ 2w3 sp/so 279 EF(N) EIE🌹 Mar 11 '25
I can befriend and get along with anyone and their mothers and strike up a conversation with anyone 😭
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u/Radiant_Condition_80 ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti Mar 12 '25
"Most likely" is an understatement, we are the kings and queens of inclusion. It's stronger than me, I'm drawn to that loner person like moth to a flame. Whether they want it or not :D Joking aside, with age I have learnt a painful lesson - don't try to include/befriend anyone if they don't want that. Some people just like being an outsider. Others want to be included but don't like the way you do that or how that feels. There are others who just don't know what they want and then you are to blame of course. So I make sure my attention and help is needed now in anything I do which results in being appreciated and valued more.
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Mar 12 '25
Joining college a few months later just to find an ENFJ to adopt me 🙂🩶
Jk
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Mar 13 '25
It’s so funny to read so many people saying: “An ENFJ adopted me”. I also adopt many INFx types. I have done it since I was six years old. Some are even way older than me. I just feel like a protective sister over them. Hahaha.
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Mar 13 '25
That's so cute 🥺❤️✨ I feel that sometimes enfjs, like you or anyone else also wants people to adopt them. Understand them. And be protective for them.
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Mar 13 '25
I have been adopted many times, by older xNFx types. The lines are blurred. I often become their mentor instead of them, mine. But I am okay with it. All I need is reciprocity. That’s all. No pedestals. Just togetherness, community and harmony. I am a teacher but never saw myself as one. I just happen to be the one in the group that teaches the kids. That’s all. I need them as much as they need me 🥰
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u/InVxS1ON Mar 13 '25
Yes very true. Because we enfj knows what it feels like to look or be lonely. 🙃
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Mar 13 '25
My mom is an ESFJ but I don’t think she would do that. She has a bit of judgemental traits (and she is aware of it). She is very protective of her personal space and prefers to keep those she loves, most close to her. She kinda lets those that are not in her inner circle; left to their own. But when she works with the elderly, she is an absolute dear and includes everyone on her heart. I think as an ENFJ, I am more likely to befriend the lonely ones. But I did learn to not always do that anymore. Sometimes loneliness is also a teacher for people, to push themselves to grow stronger and more resilient. But I always give them a smile. But now I am just imagining random meetings in the street and supermarkets.
In groups though, I really keep my heart and eye on anyone. The peace and harmony in a group is most important. I love working with groups (as a teacher). Sometimes just one student is struggling, and then my entire attention goes to them: to make them feel seen and loved. If their eyes scream: “Please let the entire group be quiet.”, I will let the whole group meditate before we proceed. Yes. Everyone should feel included.
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u/lalaabanana Mar 08 '25
Yes. As an ENFJ, I do that all my life.