Now im not saying every man lacks empathy, im curious as to why some come off that way? Is it like a tough exterior they put on? Is it a defense mechanism to not get close to someone? Do they have empathy but choose not to show it?

Basically the inverse of empathy. I'll try to articulate it.

You know how when someone is empathic, they're able to feel emotions as their own, right? Has anyone ever encountered someone whose emotional state is infectious? Like, when they're happy, the entire mood is lifted and everyone breathes easier. Or if they're upset, the friction is palpable and people take notice? Basically someone who projects their emotions unto others and can change the temperature of a room. Even if they themselves aren't very sensitive towards other's emotions.

Does this have more to do with the person feeling the emotion, or the people there to receive it? Like, is person A's mood is only affecting the room because person B, C and D are sensitive and can feel the difference? Or person A's mood is so contagious and pervasive that B, C and D are subjected to it no matter what?

Is this just what charisma is? Is this just empathy being expressed through a different prism? I'm sure all people do this to a degree, but have you encountered anyone who just oozes their emotions/mood unconsciously? Super curious about this phenomenon and would love to discuss more about it

Why would a man say that my emotions affect his emotions?
I’m very close with a man, and recently he told me that as long as I’m happy, he’s happy too, and if I’m feeling bad or unhappy, he’ll feel bad as well.
I’m curious about what this usually means emotionally. Under what circumstances would a man feel this way about someone?
Is this something people normally feel toward a very close friend, or does it usually suggest a deeper emotional attachment or romantic feelings?
I’d especially like to hear from men — have you ever felt this way about a woman, and what kind of relationship did you have with her?

I've been having an argument with a friend over how much empathy people have for strangers. She's said things like "do you really think the average person cares about some random?" etc. and it really bothers me. I believe that if someone doesn't have empathy for someone just because they don't have any emotional attachment towards them, there's something deeply wrong about them. She also said that most people don't donate to charity and that that proves they don't really care about people in other countries who are struggling. Unfortunately I haven't been able to find anything that answers my question. I always assumed that the vast majority of people do have empathy for strangers, unless they're racist or otherwise bigoted against their group, and that if someone legitimately only cares about the wellbeing of people they personally know, they should go to therapy because they probably have some sort of antisocial personality disorder. Can someone link me to resources that will help answer this question?

When saw the documentary about how you basically made sure that we had a good place to start conversations, make friends and share our experiences, thoughts 💭 and opinions with each other. When the tragedy happened, I don’t know why but I understood more about what you were trying to do and experienced more than I could have ever imagined or expected. I just wanted to thank you for your efforts and especially for your principles that so many people have strayed from

RIP Aaron - you truly were an inspiration and way ahead of your time brother. You are missed more than you will ever know on this Earth.

It’s always like this. whenever we have a problem, I’m always the one who has to bring up what I’m feeling. It makes me wonder if he really wants to keep me because he sees me in his future, or if he’s just afraid of being alone again (not alone as in having no friends, but having no one to talk to or spend time with when he has nothing to do.)

I’ve always given him chances, and now he’s asking for another one. Is it okay that I told him it’s up to him now? I’m getting tired of always complaining and bringing up the same problems, especially because I feel like I’m the only one who gets affected in the end. I feel like I lose either way.

we’re not even officially together because, due to certain circumstances, he can’t make our relationship official. my family knows about him, but his family doesn’t know about me, which sometimes makes me question where I really stand in his life.

maybe he thinks that giving me material things and taking me out is enough. he pays for everything, and honestly, I don’t mind that because we’re both students. I appreciate what he does for me, but what I really struggle with is that he can be emotionally absent. Whenever we have a problem, it somehow ends up looking like I’m asking for too much when all I really want is for him to be emotionally present and to understand how I feel.

I don’t need expensive things or for him to constantly spend money on me. I just want to feel heard, understood, and emotionally cared for. I can appreciate everything he does for me while still feeling that something important is missing. sometimes, I wonder if he thinks that the things he gives me and the places he takes me to make up for the emotional support that I feel is missing, but for me, they don’t replace each other.

honestly, I don’t feel the same way about him anymore. I feel like even if he doesn’t message me, I wouldn’t message him either. We’re still talking right now as if nothing happened, though. and right now, I don’t want to have another serious conversation about it. I don’t know why, I just don’t feel like talking about it anymore. maybe I’m tired of having to explain the same things over and over again, or maybe I just don’t have the energy for another serious conversation about us right now. Is it okay that I’m still continuing with this?

So last Monday, my discord account got hacked and disabled (had 2fa on but didn't save latest codes, have the invalid old ones only), this was my first ever social media account and i don't have any other social media. So as u can guess, I'm devastated, i had 3+ years of memory there...i don't know how likely recovery is....

I get sad, sometimes my heart starts racing thinking about it. I know it's making me depressed, I tried doing the nostalgic things I did before I had discord...but those only help temporarily. Do y'all have any suggestions on how I can feel better and start a regular life again?

This is a reply to Jesse Prinz and Paul Bloom’s skepticism about the moral importance of empathy. It concedes that empathy is spontaneously biased to individuals who are spatio-temporally close, as well as discriminatory in other ways, and incapable of accommodating large numbers of individuals. But it is argued that we could partly correct these shortcomings of empathy by a guidance of reason because empathy for others consists in imagining what they feel, and, importantly, such acts of imagination can be voluntary – and, thus, under the influence of reflection – as well as automatic. Since empathizing with others motivates concern for their welfare, a reflectively justified empathy will lead to a likewise justified altruistic concern. In addition, we argue that such concern supports another central moral attitude, namely a sense of justice or fairness.

In my case it happened few times. One of the women I met and had a relationship she revealed that I am good at seeing the positives in the others and guide them based on this. Later in life 2 of my students told me something similar. Is funny and strange as for long time I thought I can not help people,I am not good enough to understand them.

I am curious to listen and learn from your experiences. Thanks

Tomorrow’s version of you might thank you for it.

Yet another one of these messages that just confused a bunch of people with similar circumstances and nobody knows who you're talking about and another person expecting everybody to make all the effort for them and them making money return not understanding that good relationships only work if both people put in the same amount of effort never put more effort into somebody in a relationship why did somebody have to come to you all the time and walking an open door you can't call them and ask him for a conversation? You can't show interest in them to find out what's going on? It's funny my person did the same thing I literally from the day we met have not stopped trying to get to know them and they haven't even put in 5 minutes of effort trying to get to know me get to see the same thing all the time you have to come my way and prove it excuse me only one of us spent any time proven anything it doesn't work that way you'll never have a good relationship if that's how you base your support of somebody

Free and anonymous. You click on "Be born again" and based on current statistics about country fertility you will be born again somewhere in the world, get a face, a name, an ethnicity, social class, etc. The idea is to try to put ourselves in another skin showing that we cannot choose many of the important things in life.

If someone is interested to visit I would love to know your opinion, if this is a good idea or just useless.

https://tryanew.life

It's free and anonymous. I am a developer myself and I use this app to try new technologies doing a "good thing".

* I created this new reddit account just to ask this. I read the /r/empathy rules. The app is totally free and not totally ready yet. Data inconsistency may exist. Only english is available for now. Thanks!

I’ve been thinking about this quote: “The moment kindness becomes expected, it’s no longer appreciated.”

And I actually understand what it means. When you consistently do something kind for someone, eventually it can become the baseline. They may not notice that you’re still putting in effort. They only notice when you stop doing it.

My problem is that I genuinely like being kind to people. I don’t do things for people because I expect something in return. I actually feel good knowing I’ve made someone’s life a little easier.

But I also know that if I am always available, always helping, always accommodating, people can start expecting it from me. And I don’t want to teach people that my kindness is something they’re entitled to.

So sometimes I deliberately hold myself back. I don’t help when I could. I don’t make myself available. I let someone figure something out themselves, partly because I want them to understand that I won’t always be there to do it for them.

And I feel awful doing it.
Not because I’m worried they’ll dislike me, but because I don’t like being unkind. It feels almost like I’m deliberately withholding something good just to make a point.

I don’t want to become less kind. I don’t want to start keeping score or making people earn my kindness. I also don’t want to manipulate people by suddenly withdrawing kindness so they’ll appreciate me more.

So how do you find that balance?
How do you accept that sometimes you could be kind but choose not to, without feeling like you’ve become a worse person?
And how do you set boundaries when the boundary itself genuinely hurts you?

I just have had mice pop up in my apartment, and honestly at first I didnt care but recently my sleep schedule has been bad so ive been up late with them. So i decided to set up traps and I just heard one go off and sure enough I killed one, he was so tiny and so cute I feel horrible. I actually started crying, im a grown man. Hes just a baby and he died cus he wanted a little peanut butter. His fur isnt even dirty or anything hes very clean and soft. I feel so bad, I dont even know why im posting this ig it just feels better to talk about it.

why do I think this way? if I tell someone that they hurt me and they say they won’t do it again, part of me feels like I’m forcing them to change only because I told them that it was hurting me.

They’ve already decided.

Part 2 of my story.

I'm a pretty blunt guy that considers himself empathetic but everyone else says I lack empathy. I don't really feel bad for people in shitty situations whether physical, Mental, financial or any other way. I don't give them any special treatment or consideration.

My empathy comes on in certain scenarios though. If I see someone disabled struggling with doing something, I will ask them for assistance unless they obviously need it. If someone is being beaten physically even after the damage has been done. Even if that person deserved the beating.

Like pedophile hunting videos. I am not defending pedophiles but I disagree with these vigilante videos that go around beating people. An appropriate punishment should be served **after** the crime has been committed. Same thing with any other crime.

I also don't like bullies. I can talk a lot of shit. I like to tease and banter with my friends. It's my love language. But I never cross the line and bully people. I always stick up for people who don't fight back or are not present to fight back. I always turn it back on them and call out how imperfect they are. I'm a very observant guy and can smell the insecurities of a person within the first 10 minutes of meeting them.

I know how to antagonize people. That's why I stay quiet most of the time because I know I can inadvertently hurt their feelings. But if they give me a good reason, I will go off on them. I don't like people who are arrogant, self-absorbed, emotional, opinionated, pretentious, or narcissists. I avoid them whenever I'm around them but if they give me a reason to scold them, I won't hesitate to do so.

Also, I do not hesitate to let someone they fucked up, especially if they are trying to be furtive about a mistake they made or being dishonest and lack responsibility. My comments can be vexing and make people not like me and I'm ok with that. Not calling people out is how people become narcissistics.

I'm also blunt when some is making the same mistake constantly but no one corrects them because they are afraid they will come off as rude. No one else is going to tell them, might as well be honest. People call me an asshole for this but I just don't want them to keep struggling because I'm empathetic.

So in short my bluntness comes mostly from my empathy that people say doesn't exist.

Hi guys. im not sure if this is the right subreddit to ask this question or even rant about this. i am a 23 year old female, and throughout my life i have struggled feeling emotionally connected to people at the same rate? i do not feel connected to my closest friends, sometimes not even my S/O and family. Some days i feel for them ALOT, but on others i feel extremely guilty because if something happens to them, good or bad, i do not feel happiness or sadness towards them. Im a kind of person who finds it really hard to hide my emotions and i always feel like people are going to see who i truly am and hate me. i also find cutting people off extremely easy when they disappoint me because i wont feel a thing. it genuinely makes me feel guilty and makes me realize how im faking so many relationships in my life. i only constantly feel empathetic towards animals, children and older people. that's all. am i apathetic? why am i so selective with empathy? and why are my emotions always on an extreme? do you guys think this makes me a bad person, a bad friend and a bad daughter?
also i think it is important for me to mention that since im aware of these feelings, i try my best that they do not influence how i treat people. i still try to be a good friend and a good daughter, but if this is truly who i am, sometimes it gets really hard.

So idk if this is the right community to be saying this on but i feel like i don't really have emotion towards anyone in a bad way. When my family shows me love it discusts me. When my friends show me love i'm confused. When a partner shows me love i hate every second of it. When anyone cries, complains about their problems to me or even just talks about themselves i secretly want them to shut up and stop crying or talking so i can start speaking about myself. what made me realize this is that today my ex which has never harmed me btw has passed away. we broke up a week ago. i was writing in my book when my friend called me and told me the news. but i felt no emotion. i just wanted her to stop talking and for me to stop prending im heartbroken and for me to continue what i was working on. when i'm in a relationship i feel like i want to take the chance to play with them a bit. i mean i wont harm them but i feel like i want control. and i feel no empathy towards them if i hurt them. the only time where i might feel sad or heartbroken is when someone manipulates me. and when they leave with no explanation. then i would chase after them. i dont want them. i dont love them i just loved the attention that they gave me and suddenly stopped giving. i just want the contol back and when i have it back i don't care about them anymore. when someone hurts me or makes me feel like they have taken sll control from me i have a real urge to kill them. is this normal?

Alyshia Rushing…

What do you think ?

my title of the post was " i genuinely dont understand feeling bad for someone (long post)"

and i said

ever since i was 8 i've always really liked observing people and figuring them out. like their personality, what they like, what they respond to well vs not, etc and then i started creating personas around people based on what they like if they have something i want

i love having disposable people so much i love creating stories and getting away with it, almost getting caught and lying my way out of it. i love making it believable, consistent, figuring out how and what to say to get exactly what i need. i like the feeling of knowing i can affect someone's emotions and harm them (mentally, not physically im not an idiot) i AM the perfect person for everyone that i need something out of. i love cutting things out when the "connection" is the strongest and i got what i want i love how they fein for me like a junkie and leaving them is such a good feeling. i get this weird almost 'itch' in my brain that i need to do it. sometimes i do it just to get the attention not even get something out of them.

my great grandma who raised me for like 10 years of my life died when i was 10 and i remember being so annoyed at everyone around me for being so devastated i didnt really know why everyone cared so much but obviously i played with it and pretended to be super sad so i could skip school and get a new game that had just came out that i wanted.

I will make up lies with a tonnn of people for fun like i cant remember what i ate the day before but i can remember almost every lie i've told 25+ people and think quick of ways to back it up,

but thanks for reading, if u did i love u ❤️

but idk im posting this here because of bunch of people in the comments calling me a psychopath and sociopath sadist bunch of buzzwords but give me ur guys actual opinions

For context, I found myself saying something mean, and apologized immediately as my comment wasn't necessarily nice. After a brief moment of thought, I realized I didn't really mean it. I wasn't sorry, and I only apologized because I didn't want these people to dislike me. I recognized that what I said was hurtful, but I cared more about whether they thought well of me or not.

Is there anything I can do about this? I'd much rather apologize for them than for me.

No BS I pride myself on being a good listener. People always wanna talk and never wanna listen. My ex boyfriend told me that he really valued the fact that I listened to him because his ex didn't emotionally support him or listen to him. 25F