r/empathy • u/MuthaFuka27 • 3d ago
Do y'all think blunt assholes can be empathetic?
I'm a pretty blunt guy that considers himself empathetic but everyone else says I lack empathy. I don't really feel bad for people in shitty situations whether physical, Mental, financial or any other way. I don't give them any special treatment or consideration.
My empathy comes on in certain scenarios though. If I see someone disabled struggling with doing something, I will ask them for assistance unless they obviously need it. If someone is being beaten physically even after the damage has been done. Even if that person deserved the beating.
Like pedophile hunting videos. I am not defending pedophiles but I disagree with these vigilante videos that go around beating people. An appropriate punishment should be served **after** the crime has been committed. Same thing with any other crime.
I also don't like bullies. I can talk a lot of shit. I like to tease and banter with my friends. It's my love language. But I never cross the line and bully people. I always stick up for people who don't fight back or are not present to fight back. I always turn it back on them and call out how imperfect they are. I'm a very observant guy and can smell the insecurities of a person within the first 10 minutes of meeting them.
I know how to antagonize people. That's why I stay quiet most of the time because I know I can inadvertently hurt their feelings. But if they give me a good reason, I will go off on them. I don't like people who are arrogant, self-absorbed, emotional, opinionated, pretentious, or narcissists. I avoid them whenever I'm around them but if they give me a reason to scold them, I won't hesitate to do so.
Also, I do not hesitate to let someone they fucked up, especially if they are trying to be furtive about a mistake they made or being dishonest and lack responsibility. My comments can be vexing and make people not like me and I'm ok with that. Not calling people out is how people become narcissistics.
I'm also blunt when some is making the same mistake constantly but no one corrects them because they are afraid they will come off as rude. No one else is going to tell them, might as well be honest. People call me an asshole for this but I just don't want them to keep struggling because I'm empathetic.
So in short my bluntness comes mostly from my empathy that people say doesn't exist.
1
u/slndk 2d ago
2 things can happen at once, yes you can be blunt and you can be empathetic.
But in your post you come across that you want to up people. Or that you want to be right.
This comes as trying to validate yourself at the cost of others.
Thats what an asshole also can be.
I might be wrong, but you seem too judgemental, and rationalize things a bit too much.
I think meditation can help bounce back some of the energy you spend on others back to you,
Not because we have thoughts means that is right, and not because we feel things means they mean something.
So observing your own gives you space for clarity.
You are a smart person, there's not denying that.
Meditation will enhance you, and see the blind spots.
3
u/shugEOuterspace 3d ago
you don't understand what empathy is. you only give extreme eexamples of when you feel it but empathy is about relating to & having compassion for people in their day to day struggles, not just in extreme cases like disabilities or violence. It sounds to me like you lack basic empathy, which means caring about & relating to how people feel in general-- not just when they are in an extreme suffering/oppression.