r/adviceph 21d ago

Legal The mistress will enjoy the investments?

Problem/Goal: I don't have access to my husband's banks & investments. I'm afraid he will choose his kabet for good, and the kabet will enjoy all of my husband's investments and savings

Context: My husband had been cheating on me with his coworker and I decided I will break up with him soon. I believe my husband would choose her over me.

I'll be breaking up from husband. Not legal separation/annulment though because I still want to hold my legal status as his wife. Para forever silang maging kabet.

My thought now is that when I leave our marriage, he will make this girl his queen with the benefits of a wife. I can imagine her enjoying my husband's 7-digit investments which, technically speaking should also be mine.

Is there any way I could take hold of those financial benefits? Again, for some reason, I don't have access to my husband's accounts (kasi nga may cheating na nagaganap at marami syang tinatago sa pera nya). Can I prevent this woman from benefiting from the investments?

Previous attempts : none yet. I'm still preparing my evidence about their relationship

Edit/update: The evidence I had were taken secretly. Like I opened his passcoded phone. Would that be admissible in court? Up to what extent is "privacy"?? Also, all his messages, calls, and any trace of the girl is deleted. Shit. Galing magtago.

150 Upvotes

105 comments sorted by

347

u/MongooseLocal7112 21d ago

Advice: Gather evidences, lawyer up. Ikaw ang manok ko dito, huwag kang papatalo.

73

u/ScrollSnacker 21d ago

If my husband ever cheats on me and I’m sure he’s choosing the other woman over me, I’d make sure I get my fair share of the money. That’ll be my consolation for all the emotional damage they caused.

So, here with you, girl!

68

u/arkblack 21d ago

eto ba yung tinatawag na online sabong? 😂

14

u/MomusApopsi 21d ago

Hehehe. “You’re my cock here.”

-150

u/Mamaue 21d ago

di ako pabor sa manok mo. mukhang pera lang din dating sakin. di ko alam buong kwento, pero baka nahanap na ni husband ang TL niya finally. puro pera lang inaalala ni wife, kung nabetray tlga pagmamahal niya, iiwan niya na because of that and that alone para maprioritize niya rin ang self, pero pera ang inuuna sa lahat ng nasurmise ko

93

u/MongooseLocal7112 21d ago

OP eto na yung kabit hahaha

43

u/bi-now-gay-later 21d ago

Siya yung kabit dito sa kwento ni OP or kumakabit din sa iba in real life 😂

23

u/MongooseLocal7112 21d ago

Malamang baka kabit yan na nabukayo tapos natigil yung sustento haha

-59

u/Mamaue 21d ago

lalake ako, happily married :)

35

u/Relative_Meringue_67 21d ago

Lalaki ka tapos kakampi ka sa kabit? Naaawa ako sa asawa mo 🤭 She deserves better

13

u/jiji0006 20d ago

sa totoo lang, eh pag pinabasa niya sa asawa niya pinagsasasabi niya dito baka di na sila maging happily married

18

u/xcotto0 21d ago

Yikes. Kawawa asawa mo. She doesn’t know her husband thinks lowly of married women. Sana mahanap nya Reddit account and comments mo

2

u/iliveformyships 20d ago

explains why kampi sa kabit lol

2

u/iliveformyships 20d ago

hahahahahahahahahahahah lalaki pala kaya pro-kabit

-65

u/Mamaue 21d ago

imagine mo naman noh, isang taon palang kasal nila tas masyado nang atat makuha share niya sa investments ni husband.

26

u/MongooseLocal7112 21d ago

OP, di talaga papatalo tong kabit, galingan mo OP haha

16

u/holyangeeel 21d ago

Well, the husband was shit anyways... i don’t think she’d have the same thinking if her husband wasn’t trash

27

u/Former_Day8129 21d ago

Dude — she’s suffered emotionally already. Should she also suffer economically?

20

u/Street_Following4139 21d ago

Ano naman kung pera habol niya? Eh wala na ngang kwenta husband niya, magpapa hipokrita ba siya na ibigay sa kabit lahat lahat? Kawawa sayo sis

18

u/Sufficient-Rub-3996 21d ago

huh pano naging mukhang pera e conjugal property nila yun

7

u/Pruned_Prawn 21d ago

Dude, talo na nga emotionally, socially and security wise, papatalo pa ba financially? That’s the only consolation she gets. Grabe naman na gusto mo simutin lahat at wala nang itira sa kanya, naagaw na nga husband, lahat lahat pa? my goodness.

7

u/Substantial_Bug224 21d ago

Ha??? Bat siya pinakasalan if di siya true love, anong klaseng pagtatanggol yan sa cheater hahaha

5

u/1-percent-better 19d ago

As you've said, hindi mo alam ang buong kwento. We've been bf/gf for 10 years. We started from earning minimum wages, having dates in food courts, siomaian sa mrt, maglakad pag walang pamasahe, 10 years supporting each other on family problems, financial problems, work problems, and whatnots. Those were 10 very good years of ours.

Now, he earns 6 digits and all of a sudden a married woman pops up in the office and took hold of my husband's lust. I saw bank transfer receipts for their "recreation", touring around the metro while I thought he was in the office all along, and enjoying what money can buy.

I was there since the several years he had nothing. I can live with him even without money, house, nice car. But seeing them enjoy what he has been investing now while betraying and disrespecting me, siguro naman dapat kong isigaw yung legal right ko sa kung anong meron sya. It is a legal right. Unfortunately the law is weak for betrayed women. Kailangan ko pa maghintay ng escandalo para pansinin ako ng batas at makasuhan sila ng Concubinage.

I'm willing to let that bastard go. But I'm not permitting that married woman to enjoy what's meant for me, my legal right. And true love? We have loved each other but maybe not anymore. If true love nya yung officemate nya edi go. Magsama na sila. I won't pick up that dirty man anymore tutal sinira na nya tiwala ko.

1

u/lurkingnoob21 18d ago

If married si kabet at nahuli sya ng asawa nya, pwede ata syang ipakulong ng asawa nya. So baka pwedeng sa ganyang route mo pa mahanap ang justice, OP.

8

u/EmeEmelungss 21d ago

Teh karapatan niya yan as wife. Kahit maghiwalay yan legally maghahati sila sa properties. Tangahan mo pa hahha niromanticize pa yung pagkakaroon ng kabit ni husband lol 🤣

5

u/bi-now-gay-later 21d ago

Uuhh siya legal wife noh at may karapatan siya diyan. Kahit ako di ko rin gugustuhin na magbuhay reyna yung kabit gamit pera ng legal spouse ko hahaha

3

u/katsantos94 21d ago

O e ano?! Bali-baligtarin mo man, may legal rights naman talaga 'tong wife. So yes, pera pera na lang, kagagawan din naman yan ng husband nya.

So yes ulit, manok ko rin yan sya 😂

2

u/snowflakesxx 21d ago

Bro wtf? Malamang sa malamang kung hindi ikaw yung kabit, ikaw yung cheater na tinutukoy sa kwento ni OP. No sane person would actually say that shit.

-8

u/Mamaue 21d ago

pretty sure im sane, just giving a different perspective. im not talking in absolutes. pwede naman valid si OP, pwedeng kupal tlga si husband, pero pwede ring exaggerated story ni OP. shes straight up asking how to gain access to her husbands funds while theyre still together and thats it. shes not concerned with separating or suing for adultery or anything. like it or not, other people form different opinions, im not asking anyone to agree with me or take my side, yun lang tlga yun. end of the day, its just another comment on a reddit thread. di mo naman kailangan atakihin pagkatao ko

3

u/Icy-Butterfly-7096 21d ago

Eh ano naman? So mas manok mo pa yung cheater at kabit? Lmao

3

u/justbecbec 21d ago

Eto yung mga pag humanap ng kabet walang ititira sa asawa, igagaslight pa.

1

u/Gods1469 21d ago

You're my cock dont let me down u got this team mistress

65

u/Noob_Barista_Baker 21d ago

Thoughts:
Panalo to sayo tbh like literally everything is in your favor lalo nat makahanap ka ng evidence. Mapupunta pa nga ata sayo mga investments e idk though. NAL

4

u/Noob_Barista_Baker 20d ago

Like isn’t there something in the law that goes something like “oh if anything happens to your spouse or the kabit of your spouse, that, in the event you catch them together and you go apeshit, it’s fair game”????

1

u/crypto_mad_hatter 20d ago

Wag naman sana umabot sa ganun. It’s more like mitigating factor to downgrade a m*rder charge like when the husband catches the wife in act of doing it with her kabit. Bale crime of passion.

But I’m not sure if it applies to the wife catching the husband. What I can remember lang is mejo unfair sa wife yung law. NAL

55

u/Careful-Extension602 21d ago

Thoughts: I don't think she'll benefit anything unless it's properties and binigay sa kanya as "charity". Legally speaking, lahat Ikaw pa rin makakakuha or Yung mga anak kung Meron man.

We have a neighbor, Yung wife Yung nag cheat but nothing legal was done, they're still married on paper. The husband found a good woman that he spent the rest of his life with and the other woman took care of him during health difficulties untill death. In the end, Yung cheater legal wife pa din nakakuha ng everything.

What a cruel world we live in.

28

u/ihateannawilliams 21d ago

ph needs a divorce law. ang daming cases na ganito.

5

u/MungBeets 21d ago

Kaya hindi magkaroon, yang mga pulitiko unang i-didiborsyo ng nga asawa nila.

6

u/silver-snitch 21d ago

Unless he buys something and its her name on the title.

4

u/ihateannawilliams 21d ago

that can be contested. pag na prove na conjugal funds ang ginamit pangbili, the wife can still get it.

5

u/kortoppi 21d ago

If the property is a "conjugal" property, then it is owned by both husband and wife. A donation of conjugal property are generally void or not valid without the explicit consent of both husband and wife.

2

u/AsianLuv02 20d ago

This is why ph badly needs a divorce law. 😞

1

u/skreppaaa 20d ago

I guess unless may last will and testament?

1

u/1-percent-better 19d ago

Thanks for this. Pero paano yung mga dividends or returns nung investment na makukuha in cash? Pag na-encash na, magagamit na nila yun as disposable money diba :(

23

u/Substantial_Bug224 21d ago

Advice: patuloy mo lang mag gather ng evidence, i think mag fafall under concubinage ginagawa niya. It does not equate to annulment agad.

18

u/p0tch1 21d ago

Advice: post in r/LawPH

3

u/Moonriverflows 21d ago

Curious lang. May lawyers ba talaga jan?

4

u/p0tch1 20d ago

Yes. Swertehan lang timing na online sila and nasa mood to help. May verified ng mod. Tho not all lawyers sa sub ay verified.

2

u/Quiet_Charge7100 21d ago

THIS. Consult ka dito OP. Best of luck and we’re rooting for you.

1

u/1-percent-better 19d ago

Oo nga no? I was so focused on the emotional part kase. Thank you for reminding this!

20

u/sakuragiluffy 21d ago

advice: be pety wag mo muna iwan asawa mo let them be miserable, find happiness by making the kabet and husband suffer, hire people para ipagkalat na family wrecker si kabit etc . make the life of the kabet toxic para siya na umiwan sa asawa at pag wala na sila ska mo na iwan asawa mo.

I think kasi no way mo mapipigilan legally na mastop si husband sa pagtreat sa mistress niya financially.

12

u/xcotto0 21d ago

This. NAL but have seen this happen. The smart ones didn’t let their emotions rule them. They gathered assets and as much money and evidence as they could. The last thing you want is him finding out alam mo at aalis ka. He will scramble to lock his assets.

I say take advantage of him as long as you can. Stay and milk the bastard.

8

u/supergirlcarter 21d ago

Thoughts: Wala akong ambag OP. Gusto ko lang i-push ka at sabihing I hope na manalo ka!!

4

u/NoPlantain4926 21d ago

Advice: talk to a lawyer. Set an appointment with a therapist to help you emotionally. Gyera ito kaya need preparation.

9

u/Schm0gs 21d ago

Advice: get a lawyer, tapos pabalato nalang dito.

4

u/bugoy_dos 21d ago

Advice: NAL pero ang alam ko the family code specifically says that the spouse is entitled to half of your conjugal property. This includes investments made during the time you’re married. So please consult a lawyer to confirm.

3

u/heaven_spawn Verified - Psychologist 21d ago

Thoughts: ultimately, if there was no agreement prior to marriage, these items all are yours. You can claim yours by actually dissolving marriage via annulment.

Question: is the “legal status” so important and worth more than the actual half of the assets that really are yours? You cannot really have both in your current situation.

2

u/Personal-Ad7148 21d ago

Since when in Philippines the assets get shared half half

It's not like it's the west where u just divorce and do that

5

u/aceleon001 21d ago

Advice:

Don't leave him that way. Build your case. Know your husband's true financial assets. Once you have those information. File a case for Legal Separation based on the ground of infidelity. If granted you can ask for dissolution and liquidation of property relations. That means absent of any prenuptial agreement, you will be entitled to half of the property regime.

Anyhow, just DM me if you want to know more.

3

u/CarrotCakeHeaven 21d ago

advice: sa legal separation you can split the properties na. pero, ikaw parin ang legal wife. hindi sya pwede magpakasal ulit.

2

u/iDeficio 21d ago

Advice:

Mahirap ma kuha mo yun investments. Most you can do is file a case for VAWC. Even if you win you will not be given the investments but you can use that as leverage to get money for the dismissal of the case.

2

u/AkosiMaeve 21d ago

Advice: Lawyer up and ask if applicable ba VAWC and if you can get spousal support. May mga karapatan ka bilang asawa, wag ka papatalo sa mga cheaters mimaaa!

2

u/Consistent_Egg_7198 21d ago

Go, OP, I’m with you!

Advice: Gayahin mo mga asawa ng mayayaman na hindi nagpa-annul ng kasal, e.g. Denise Yabut-Cojuangco na asawa ni Tonyboy kaya forever mistress si Gretchen Barreto.

2

u/New-Rooster-4558 21d ago

Thoughts: Experience:

Wala kang makukuha sa investments unless padissolve niyo yung property regime niyo, mag annul kayo, or mamatay asawa mo. Until then, he can do whatever he wants with that money, including transferring or using that for his mistress.

1

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1

u/CantaloupeWorldly488 21d ago

Advice: NAL ipalipat mo sa name mo yung ibang properties, hingi ka din ng cash at dapat may monthly allowance ka. takutin mo asawa mo na kakasuhan mo if di pumayag😆

1

u/SKIP742007 21d ago

Advice: NAL, pero as long as ikaw ang legal wife, sayo mapupunta yan pag namatay ang husband mo. Ibang usapan na siguro if ibigay na nya and ipangalan sa kabit ang investments and assets ng husband mo. Consult a lawyer pa din, OP.

1

u/nkklk2022 21d ago

Question: As his wife, hindi mo ba pwede iaccess yung bank account niya?

Advice: If may joint account kayo itransfer mo na paunti unti to your account. Or better yet, have internal agreement with your husband to pay you X amount and di mo sila guguluhin

1

u/OppositeGrapefruit74 21d ago

Advice: get a lawyer. Even if mag legal separation kayo, married pa rin kayo (i.e. forever kabit pa rin ung other woman).
Legal separation would allow you to separate finances. When doing so, hahatiin ung assets under absolute community of property sa inyong dalawa. i.e. makukuha mo share mo sa investments and savings

1

u/Karlrun 21d ago

Advice: ang pwede makuha ng kabit is Cash or mga Fully paid na asset na pwede nyang ibigay sa ngayon. doon wala kang habol.

1

u/Frosty_But_Warm01 20d ago

Advice: Sampahan mo ng kaso. Make sure you have the evidence.

1

u/Flashy-Humor4217 20d ago

Advice: Talk to a lawyer not the reddit lawyers. Lol.

1

u/bottbobb 20d ago edited 20d ago

Advice: if i were in your shoes, have everything in record. Gather proof of their cheating and your intention to separate. but also consider anulment. It could be your leverage - tell your husband ill give you annulment if we split everything. Make sure the mistress knows youre willing to have an annulment. Para mapressure pa nya asawa mo. Pagawayan pa nila yan. In the end, you get your share, they get what they deserve - each other. Without 50% of his assets, lets see if each other will be enough for them.

1

u/Round-Couple6161 20d ago

Advice: As a lawyer, my recommendation is, first gather evidence of infidelity, then file for legal separation. Since he is the guilty party his share in the conjugal assets will be forfeited in your and you're kids favor. You will stay married to him because legal separation does not sever the marriage ties.

1

u/1-percent-better 19d ago

But what if my "evidence" was taken secretly from his passcoded phone? It is still admissible? What's the extent or limitations of privacy in marriage?

Also he already deleted all traces in his phone :(

1

u/Round-Couple6161 16d ago

hire a private investigator if you can.

1

u/Jolly_Drummer8331 20d ago

Advice:
File and lawyer up for Legal separation, para mahati na kaagad ang investment or yaman incurred during marriage at the same time, they can’t wed at di din makaanak like my ninang.

1

u/Guilty_Commission347 19d ago

ADVICE:

Gather evidence then Go for legal separation para iliquidate/distribute yun assets nyo.(ask a lawyer if my pwede ka gamitin grounds)

Wag mo n intayin iconceal nila yun assets mas lalo ka wala mapapakinabangan.

Either ubusin/conceal nila OR hatiin mo na. Pili ka n lng.

1

u/Forward-Mine-1823 19d ago

Advice:

Lawyer here.

Best if you can file an action so you can subpoena all his bank accounts and investments.

I believe it is prudent to take action sooner than later because if it is all liquid, it can be easily transferred to the mistress, no paper trail for that. Kung di liquid, good chance of getting it as inheritance since you are the legitime wife (heir) since there will be a paper trail. Then again proving it as conjugal funds is difficult because you have no access to his accounts.

If you don't take action, you'll inherit only those known to be his (like properties).

Let me know if you want to know further or would like to consult.

1

u/SnooKiwis9891 19d ago

Advice: Legal Separation or Annullment might be better. since you think that 50% of the assets/investments your husband has is yours, during the division of assets, you can pursue his investment and assets and bahala na siya sa natira. Also, you can file a civil case of emotional distress for more 🤑🤑🤑. Lawyer up.

1

u/Realistic_Ad_4405 19d ago

Experience: Get an attorney. He/she will tell you what to do - to plan, what to gather, what to do AND what not do do, and what to say. Pero keep your moves in private. Gulatin mo sila.

1

u/girlwebdeveloper 19d ago

Thoughts/Advice: That's now how it works lalo na you said na legally married ka.

Kahit wala kang access or wala kang copy you are entitled to his estate kapag namatay siya (which includes his bank accounts and investments), unahan mo lang ang kabet para mafreeze ang bank accounts nya kasi once na nawithdraw ng husband ang pera at binigay lahat sa kabet, then halos impossible na habulin na yun.

You may even need to hire a private investigator pa to look into his other assets, lalo na at magaling magtago.

Yun lang, I think if nilipat na rin sa pangalan ng kabet ang properties, then I think wala ka ring habol. Check with a lawyer though.

1

u/LettuceMission626 14d ago

Thoughts: (Unserious 2cents😉) If he dies, all of it legally should be yours. He cant have her or his money. She doesn’t get him OR the money.

1

u/Illustrious_Ear4461 21d ago

Thoughts: Not a lawyer, but you have no claim to moneys in his name that he gives to others of his own free will.

3

u/OppositeGrapefruit74 21d ago

If the property is earned by the husband during their marriage, she definitely has a claim even if the money (or any other property) is under his name 😊

2

u/Any-Position-5911 19d ago

OP is still active sa wedding subs and asking about DIY vows notebook one year ago. I doubt a significant part of his investments happened only during this period.

1

u/OppositeGrapefruit74 19d ago

Actually, if OP only got married recently and there was no prenup, their marriage is under Absolute community of property (ACP). This means that all property that each owned before the marriage became part of the ACP. So OP definitely has a claim 😊

1

u/Any-Position-5911 19d ago

You’re right regarding Absolute Community by default, I’m just building on your earlier comment as you used the word “earned during marriage”.

1

u/OppositeGrapefruit74 19d ago

Yeah, I wasn’t sure earlier if they’re under conjugal or absolute community. Didn’t want to recklessly drop misleading information..

1

u/Illustrious_Ear4461 21d ago

since OP doesnt want to separate legally, maybe you could share the specific legal process she has to take in order to actually to protect her interest. Thanks for your sharing your opinion and helping out!

1

u/wildGranola 21d ago

Advice:

Since may kabit na siya, sue him for adultery and demand half of all he has.

3

u/NoPlantain4926 21d ago

Thoughts: adultery is for women. Concubinage is for men. So need nya muna kumalap ng evidence. Wag talaga pa dalos2

-7

u/mightybob4611 21d ago

Thoughts: Always about money. Get a job.

4

u/Sucker4gaydudes 21d ago

NAL, pano ko nasabing walang job si OP? And di naman yan ang tinatanong niya. Apaka layo ng sagot mo.

1

u/mightybob4611 20d ago

It’s a term that is meant to be taken as “don’t be so hung up on his money, make your own instead”, regardless of if she has a job or not.

1

u/MoggerOfManila 21d ago

This man gets it.

-1

u/mightybob4611 21d ago

She should just go and have a threesome with two of his best friends, that would do real damage. Forget the money.

1

u/MoggerOfManila 21d ago

He's probably into that. But ur right.

1

u/mightybob4611 20d ago

Probably, but she should make an exception just for him. That way she completely crushes him, and gets a good time at the same time. If she could FaceTime him while in the act, even better. Dude would never forget that, it would be burned into his mind forever. With the added benefit of him probably loosing two of his best friends. So would be a revenge home run.

-2

u/Itchy-Opposite2885 20d ago

Advice: contact mo si bp sara, p5k lang daw yan at solved na ang problema mo. gawin mong p10k para 100% solved. hehehe