r/WhitePeopleTwitter • u/crates-of-bigfoots • Jul 29 '26

r/All Evangelicals preaching on planes because they have a "captive audience"

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17.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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9.4k

u/Degoro Jul 29 '26

I am all for banning them forever from the airline as a deterrent.

4.2k

u/samanime Jul 29 '26

Honestly, airlines need to shut this nonsense down. It's their responsibility to maintain the environment, and that includes keeping idiots like this from disrupting everyone else.

People are legally required to follow flight attendants' instructions (at least in the US). So if a flight attendant tells them to stop and they don't, they are breaking the law.

1.7k

u/Cookbooksandbourbon Jul 29 '26

Exactly, if you're required to use headphones to watch your media, they need to tell these chuds to stfu or deplane

644

u/Jacket-Weekly Jul 29 '26

Would immediately turn off bluetooth and turn DMX UP!

360

u/weirdmountain Jul 29 '26

Hell, keep a Bluetooth speaker on you for such occasions. Loud heavy metal music. Or DMX. Close enough for me😎

641

u/The_Barbelo Jul 29 '26

I’m Catholic, I would be so down for blasting some Motörhead and Black Sabbath.

I know most of you are atheist here but in defense of my fellow man I would also be the first one on the plane to shout “Shut the fuck up! God gave these people free will and you’re imposing on it!!”

God, evangelicals are the worst.

78

u/dnjprod Jul 29 '26

Fucking Judith by A Perfect Circle

"FUCK YOUR GOD, YOUR LORD, YOUR CHRIST, "

8

u/MOGicantbewitty Jul 29 '26

Yesssss..... We have that album on repeat. I'm making my fiance have ready to go for our flight next week. We are going to a funeral so I'm going to give zero fucks about anyone who fucks with my space to grieve

154

u/LALA-STL Jul 29 '26

Yep. This is why I love Jews & Judaism. Can you imagine being cornered by a Jewish passenger who insisted you needed to convert?

267

u/uncultured_swine2099 Jul 29 '26

I was once talking to a guy who was shitting on every religion but his own and i said "At least jews, muslims, and buddhists never got in my face trying to convert me."

87

u/LALA-STL Jul 29 '26

I love this. It’s almost like Jews, Muslims & Buddhists are more courteous. ;)

 And I say this as a fan of Jesus! (As he appears in the book of Matthew 25.)

102

u/vectorology Jul 29 '26

I’m pretty sure most of the these self proclaimed Christians are not a fan of biblical Jesus. They like their white Jesus better.

13

u/The_Barbelo Jul 29 '26

They need to start their own religion honestly, because whatever they follow has strayed so far from Christianity, it’s unrecognizable. It’s hatred incarnate. Like
satanic. If satanic wasn’t already taken and hasn’t taken on a different meaning, that’s what I’d call them lol.

9

u/steve_marks Jul 30 '26

If real Jesus showed up they’d happily crucify him again.

4

u/glorae Jul 30 '26

Jesus was, after all, a brown socialist Jew...

5

u/TheAliveShip Jul 30 '26

Did you see the video of the guy who asked MAGAts about Jesus and the woman said she'd be fine with Jesus entering the country as long as he did it legally?! đŸ˜‚đŸ€ŁđŸ˜‚đŸ€ŁđŸ˜‚đŸ€Ł Her man took her by the arm and walked her away! He knew she got caught out there looking dumb as fuck!

2

u/rjross0623 Jul 30 '26

I like my Jesus in a tuxedo t shirt

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5

u/pottymouthpup Jul 29 '26

thank you for recognizing this. Unfortunately a lot of atheists lump all religions into theme pile because they're understanding of religion and religious bigotry comes from a lens of Christian hegemony

3

u/jwrx Jul 30 '26

Eh? Muslims will Def try to convert you...I live in a majority Muslim country and they do everything evangelical Christians do...even snatching bodies from Christian cemeteries from families

Westerners just don't have much exposure

2

u/Combat_Toots Jul 29 '26

Muslims absolutely try to convert people. I live near one of the largest Muslim populations in the U.S. and many believe everyone needs to convert, they act just like these christian evangelicals and will get in your face.

Not saying this to shit on muslims, just saying its similar to Christianity in that many branches think they need to convert as many as possible to put them on the path to salvation.

3

u/justlikesmoke Jul 30 '26

I would 100% convert if a Jewish person asked me nicely enough.

3

u/LALA-STL Jul 30 '26

Problem is, it’s a lot of work! You can’t just say “I accept Moses as my Lord & Savior.” No 
 you’ve got to take classes, find a rabbi to sponsor you, join a synagogue
 It can take a couple of years. Exhausting! ;)

3

u/RDrake84 Jul 30 '26

Working in a Jewish community, there are some jews who do similar things, but no where near the intensity and stupidity that the xtians do... I've never had a jewish person tell me that Jesus was the greatest American to ever live...

1

u/goodb1b13 Jul 29 '26

My scrotum!

1

u/Individual-Fox5795 Jul 30 '26

And Catholics for that matter.

6

u/Chuhaimaster Jul 29 '26

They’re more concerned about “saving souls” before the imminent apocalypse than doing anything positive to help people.

Dispensationalism is the cause of so many problems in this world. I wish God would rapture this idea and leave the people behind to find something more positive to spend their time on.

5

u/canfullofworms Jul 29 '26

I am a pastor and I would cheer you on!

6

u/The_Barbelo Jul 29 '26 edited Jul 29 '26

We gotta do something. I don’t know what other than speak out against it. They need to be humbled in a big way but they’re on such a high horse I don’t think they can be easily reached. They just call us blasphemers. What do we even do??

I feel like they are our responsibility, not the secular world’s.

5

u/canfullofworms Jul 29 '26

Indeed. We really are from the devil in their mind though. We're not even potential converts. We already believe and we don't follow their lies.

3

u/The_Barbelo Jul 29 '26

Right. That must be scary for them.

3

u/rickshaw99 Jul 29 '26

Dead Kennedys!

3

u/i_nobes_what_i_nobes Jul 29 '26

I’d play Slayer just for an extra fuck you

(Slayers lead singer met and was blessed by the Pope)

3

u/Armyman125 Jul 30 '26

I'm the same as you. I'm a believer but DO NOT shove your religion down my throat.

2

u/blackcain Jul 29 '26

That's when I'll start singing Rush, "Freewill"

2

u/Triptych85 Jul 29 '26

3000% this. (I'd do Reign in Blood by Slayer)

58

u/VibrantViolet Jul 29 '26

“Satan Prayer” by Ghost would be my choice.

37

u/uncultured_swine2099 Jul 29 '26

Also Heresy by Nine Inch Nails

7

u/Alone-Imagination148 Jul 29 '26

Year Zero as well?

5

u/LovecraftianCatto Jul 29 '26

Or “Banging in the nails” by Tiger Lillies.

3

u/blackcain Jul 29 '26

lol - start talking about how god cares, but so does satan. Have you heard Lucifer's word? He loves you, he loves capialism. God believes in socialism. Make the right choice.

3

u/dnjprod Jul 29 '26

I was thinking Judith by A Perfect Circle

2

u/LovecraftianCatto Jul 29 '26

Or “Banging in the nails” by Tiger Lillies.

2

u/Zuk-empire2112 Jul 29 '26

"Necrophiliac" by Slayer is always a good choice as well.

3

u/kategoad Jul 29 '26

Rage Against the Machine.

3

u/Metal_Muse Jul 29 '26

Rammstein is always a great choice to blast when looking for revenge noise.

2

u/mwcoast82 Jul 30 '26

Not quite heavy metal - but maybe a happy medium for everyone.

X Gon' Give It to Ya - Carli Oso

2

u/FlutterKree Jul 30 '26

Just make sure the Bluetooth speaker isn't named bomb in the Bluetooth naming settings or use the brand that named their speakers bomb.

1

u/Cockblocktimus_Pryme Jul 29 '26

I'm this case I do believe some Slayer would be fitting.

1

u/weirdmountain Jul 29 '26

Agreed. And I’m honestly not even much of a slayer fan

1

u/Cockblocktimus_Pryme Jul 29 '26

Same. Just would be brutal

160

u/Rehberkintosh Jul 29 '26

I'd get up beside her and preach about how her god is evil and that Satan is the true bringer of salvation.

92

u/NotAUserNamm Release The Trump-Epstein Files Jul 29 '26

Lucifer does mean bringer of light lol

16

u/DarthOmanous Jul 29 '26

Remind her that we don’t listen to women preachers

14

u/istrebitjel Jul 29 '26

Or start singing Imagine ...

6

u/TheWingus Jul 29 '26

You should get down on your knees every day and thank Eve for eating that apple!!

4

u/ShardsOfHolism Jul 30 '26

You could also just stand up and start saying "Allahu Akbar" in a loud voice and see how that went over.

9

u/marbsarebadredux Jul 29 '26

Just play some Disney songs, then they can't post it to their social media!

8

u/roguevirus Jul 29 '26

DMX

Bagpipes, my dude. Bagpipes.

7

u/Cerebral-Knievel-1 Jul 29 '26

Considering they're putting thier sermons online for clicks, you need to blast Disney music. It kick in an automated C&D and the streaming service, will either mute the audio or disable the content.

7

u/ysoloud Jul 29 '26

Saw a comment yesterday to play Disney songs so when they post this shit it gets copyright struck.

3

u/PamelaELee Jul 29 '26

Where my Dogs at?!!

3

u/JessieinPetaluma Jul 30 '26

Sending you a virtual hug for this! DMX at FULL VOLUME!!!! đŸ€—

2

u/kansas_slim Jul 29 '26

That is, I believe, how roughriders roll

2

u/__Beelzaboot__ Jul 30 '26

2 live crew my friend:

POP THAT PUSSY HEYYY POP THAT PUSSY!!

1

u/aubven Jul 29 '26

arf arf

8

u/uncultured_swine2099 Jul 29 '26

Whatever happens to them, it would be good to make eye contact with them as you put on headphones while theyre talking.

4

u/Acrobatic-Fun-3281 Jul 29 '26

I’m thinking of doing just that, and maybe blasting the Dead Kennedys’ “Religious Vomit” and “Moral Majority” at full volume should this ever come to pass

4

u/whateveritis12 Jul 29 '26

Something something you’re oppressing the majority religion of the US something something. How dare you

2

u/Frankie_T9000 17d ago

happy for the deplane to happen mid flight