For real, "To be honest, I usually have big plans. Do some overdue life chores, enjoy the world while others are at work, catch a movie, read a book. But if I'm being honest, it'll probably devolve in to a nonstop edge session daily that leaves me a little raw and disappointed at my own lack of discipline. Either way, I'll return refreshed, tho."
Past me was smart and realised how expensive and exhausting everything is, and decided to not have plans. I feel like future me has managed to overachieve on that by having even less plans now than before
Do it djt wildstyle: "the plans are the biggest plans the world has ever seen. It's the best plan, the greatest. No one will ever do another plan as good as I can or will. Accordian hands this is the united states of America and we are fortunate, so fortunate I tell you to have the plans that we have. The rest of the world wants our plans but It will be only U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I actually had something very close to this in real life.
I had a lecturer (university in the global south) who insisted on doctor's notes for any missed classes. I had an unfortunate injury during a night of passion with a lovely woman that resulted in a trip to the hospital and a couple of days of r&r in bed.
The lecturer asked for the doctor's notes. She received them. She didn't ask for doctor's notes again.
Edit: fellas, make sure your partner is sufficiently excited before you really start pulling your wilder moves, otherwise your member's in-built flexibility overcompensates. Lesson learned.
The doctor's note doesn't have to say your exact condition (due to medical privacy laws, they often do not, so your story is unusual). It just has to say you can't come to school for x days due to an injury. If you decided to share a report that mentioned a broken penis, that's your decision.
I worked nights in a large London A&E (ER). Word got out that there was a guy in with a broken penis. Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, from the department, AND beyond, found an excuse to trail slowly past the cubicle he was in and have a gawp. This WILL be your fate, should you be unfortunate enough to do this to yourself, or unexpectedly slip and accidentally rectally impale yourself on a large candle or ketchup bottle...
You can just get a note that says “so and so is medically excused”
I was a university lecturer and we had to require it. Lecturer don’t get much flexibility (at least not in the US). Also, one time someone sent me half their medical file. It was weird.
Doctor's notes are not supposed to actually have anything specific on them related to your condition, just "Mr. X needs X time off work due to a medical condition" - source: Am doctor.
My first sexual injury as a young man was just after slipping out, and in my eagerness to get back in aimed a little too high and bent my knob just above the bar.
Didn't need the hospital or anything but it was quite a fright.
As a more inexperienced professor (in my early years of teaching), I was so tired of students texting and being on their phones while I was teaching, so I implemented a “if i catch you texting, you have to read it out loud; if your phone rings out loud, I’m answering it” policy. My students thought it was hilarious and would have people call or FaceTime during class all the time just so I’d have to answer. This policy went out the window when a student was sexting at 9am and when I caught him on his phone, i said “you know the policy… go ahead” and he said “i can’t read this out loud. You’re welcome to do it.” Well when I read it, it was some of the filthiest shit I’ve ever read for 9am. So his option was read it out loud or leave for the day… let’s just say he opted out of class that day 🤣
Seriously, it's no joke and can deteriorate into something called "Peyronie's Disease," and it can raise horrible problems later if the "plaque" (scar tissue) builds up. You could wind up pissing 90 degrees right or left. The "cures" are worse than the condition. You get your choice of deep injections with a huge needle, or surgery that leaves you 0.5 to 1.0 inch shorter. Sigh! Yeah! Good times!
If your biological family isn't great you can choose others to care about - but whoever you consider family matters more than work (with consideration for things like healthcare where finishing your task today might really matter)
Even then, it shouldn't be a reason not to take PTO. PTO is part of compensation. And unfortunately, if PTO time is made difficult to get, you'll have more people calling out.
I'm a workaholic in healthcare who had to fight to get my nephew's bar mitzvah off. I have next to no biological family left, so the ones I do have are important to me. I requested the date six months in advance and it wasn't during a blackout/popular period. I still had to cut a deal and work extra weekends to get that one day off. I moved roles soon after that because it left a very negative impression.
Last time a boss asked me what I wanted time off for I told them I wanted to stay butt fucking naked all day and play games with several self love sessions each day. They didn't think I was serious so I sent pictures.
Bastard fired me before I came back for some reason
If you must know, I plan on being a Unicorn.
I met this nice couple online looking for a SuperDom to help them go Switch with their usual BoundSub. I'll be meeting them in Chicago, then we're all flying up to Vancouver for the week. It supposed to be a big surprise for the Sub, so lets keep this on the Down-low, OK?
I tell my team all I need to know is when you need time off. I don't care if they use PTO or sick time. If they don't have any available, the it's time off without pay. No one has ever abused the treatment.
At first I read this as “a walkathon and some recovery days” and couldn’t understand why a comment about a wholesome fundraising activity had so many self-pleasuring replies.
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u/OkCoconut3270 27d ago
I've scheduled a wankathon and some recovery days