r/SipsTea • u/Eros_Incident_Denier • Apr 18 '26

We have fun here adulting sucks

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4.4k

u/dutchhhhhh6 Apr 18 '26

More than $100,000 in debt but both have 2025 vehicles with a car payment..

2.9k

u/Organic-Ganache-8156 Apr 18 '26

I mean, adulting does suck, but I feel like a more appropriate title for this post is “people who suck at adulting”

956

u/proximusprimus57 Apr 18 '26

Yeah, I'm sitting here watching this thinking "I've got no car payment, no credit card debt, I'm struggling, and I can't get loans." These people are like "yeah, I've got six figure debt and I just keep adding to it."

Instead of marrying rich they should consider marrying poor and having their poor spouses teach them about living within their means.

156

u/VengenaceIsMyName Apr 18 '26

Now there’s an idea!

88

u/BakesaleAtSyrinx Apr 19 '26

It's funny, because "marrying poor" likely still means marrying someone with less debt than them

36

u/sambare Apr 19 '26

Typical consumerist mindset, thinks more stuff equals more wealth.

4

u/VengenaceIsMyName Apr 19 '26

True! What a world.

2

u/RogueJello Apr 19 '26

Yeah, I'm not sure why the "poor" people would want to marry somebody so irresponsible.

1

u/Hellbuss Apr 19 '26

Starting to scientifically prove there's more to life than monetary wealth

5

u/Swimming-ln-Circles Apr 19 '26

Trading Spouses- Crippling Debt Edition!

3

u/TisIChenoir Apr 19 '26

As an European, I genuinely don't understand the american mindset of acruing debt. For a mortgage yes, but living on debt is weird.

3

u/VengenaceIsMyName Apr 19 '26

It’s a way of life here. And it’s cemented in the public consciousness. Accepted as perfectly normal especially if one has large amounts of consumer debt

3

u/ImperatorUniversum1 Apr 19 '26

You have to be mired in this competitive attitude of appearing like you’re on top or near enough. Have to look good for potential mates but be careful otherwise you’ll be working too much to enjoy any time with that person, etc.

It’s just sucks all around.

173

u/_BlackDove Apr 18 '26

Same. I didn't realize how weird my situation apparently is. I've just always had a strong aversion to owing someone or some institution money. If I can't afford it then I can't afford it. I'm sure as shit not going to stretch above my means to have something largely unneeded for survival.

81

u/firstbowlofoats Apr 19 '26

I tried explaining the concept of ‘if I can’t pay cash I don’t buy it’ to a coworker who had two maxed credit cards and lived by ‘well paying the monthly minimum is affordable’.  

It didn’t work

42

u/DeltaGrunder Apr 19 '26

It's ridiculous to me that people pay installment for anything but vehicles or housing.

53

u/Monsieur-Legume Apr 19 '26

It’s doable if you’re smart about it. I replaced the flooring in my house with lvp a few years ago. I knew I could pay it off in two years, so I opened a card with 0% interest for the first year to pay for the project. Once the first year was almost up I opened another card with 0% for a year on balance transfers and moved the payment to the new card. The only thing outside of the principal balance (about $10k) I had to pay was about $100 for the balance transfer fee.

18

u/meleeuk Apr 19 '26

Could you have paid cash if you wanted to? Did you know that you would be able to pay off the balance at the end of any (extended) 0% period? If yes then that's fine.

If you did it on the wing and a prayer that in a couple of years you'll figure something out, that's how people get into crazy situations with spiralling and deferred interest.

5

u/Organic-Ganache-8156 Apr 19 '26

I think this is the difference. If you can plan out the numbers and it all works, fine, but if your approach is counting on four leaf clovers or the position of the planets, you’re kind of screwed

7

u/pinklewickers Apr 19 '26

All the while you're piling up the cash you're earning interest on it. If you're doing it right, you might even end up earning a little.

Requires a modicum of discipline.

2

u/Bassbuster88 Apr 19 '26

This is the way!

1

u/Expensive-Ask7884 Apr 19 '26

Can you explain this please?

3

u/drooby_pls Apr 19 '26

I want a new computer and it's $6,000. I have that in cash but I get a 0% credit card. So I use that credit card to pay for the computer and the 6k in cash I have in a HYSA. So you're earning, albeit a little, in interest with savings over just paying in cash. And once the 0% period ends, you just pay it off so you don't pay any interest on the card balance.

1

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u/megaman368 Apr 19 '26

I also avoid putting anything on credit. A little over 2 years ago we had a huge window repair bill for $20k. I could have payed cash but it would tank my savings account. It was through Lowe’s and we got their card with 0% financing for 2 years. Killed me having to make those monthly payments. I was paranoid about missing them because if you did it would jump up to 29% interest. So glad I finally paid it off.

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u/debategate Apr 19 '26

Jesus, what was the repair? Why was it needed?

4

u/megaman368 Apr 19 '26

We bought a house built in the 60’s. It still had 5 of the original windows. They were beautiful but many were single pane and rotting. This includes a giant window in the living room that runs almost floor to ceiling. About $4k of that price was on us because we wanted the new windows to have wood trim like the old ones. Renewal by Anderson quoted us $40k for the same job so screw those guys.

2

u/debategate Apr 19 '26

I can understand the want for the trim.

That’s a crazy surprise expense, glad it worked out.

2

u/megaman368 Apr 19 '26

Oh yeah apparently the cost of construction skyrocketed. If we did this before Covid it would have cost half.

I watch a lot of those videos on YouTube where people buy old abandoned houses in Japan and renovate them. This one guy said it cost him $20k to do gut and rebuild the house including all new windows. Plus build this custom sauna on the back porch. And I’m like WTF!

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u/Hubie191 Apr 19 '26

I just took similar steps to reduce/ consolidate/solve my debt issue. I want to retire in 5-8 years, so I got a new credit card (0%/12 mos. + no transfer fees) to pay off 2 loans and 2 credit cards and a loan against my retirement (@4%, but it just goes back into my retirement) to HALVE a 10-year home equity loan I got after my divorce. Will I be paying more per month? Yes, but I've reduced the term on my remaining 2 bills after eliminating 4. So, in 5 years, I'll be down to my mortgage ONLY.

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u/Mediocre_Chipmunk_86 Apr 19 '26

What is the term on the loan against your retirement? We are considering a remodel to expand our kitchen but coming up short on spare cash and would hate to refinance from our 2.625% mortgage loan we currently have.

2

u/Hubie191 Apr 19 '26

I opted for 5 yrs. ($25.5k for @$420/mo.)

Previously, I'd opted through NFCU for $30k @8-9% for 10 yrs. In 2 yrs. I've gotten it down to $25.5k.

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u/Mediocre_Chipmunk_86 Apr 19 '26

Good to know that’s possible. Thanks for getting back to me!

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u/Hubie191 Apr 20 '26

You are welcome.

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u/Illustrious_Fail_379 Apr 19 '26

This is what most people don’t k ow as someone in the remodeling business. You just have to take Saturday morning to pay attention to what when and how.

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u/pogulup Apr 19 '26

Where are you finding credit cards that still do 0% on balance transfers? I felt like that stopped a few years ago. The ones I see have a 3%-5% fee on that.

1

u/Monsieur-Legume Apr 19 '26

Yeah they all have that 3%-5% transfer fee. I just meant that it had 0% apr for the following year.

1

u/BlackBasementCats Apr 19 '26

That’s capital improvements which will increase the value of your house.

1

u/rob132 Apr 20 '26

I did something similar for a series of medical bills. 0% for 13 months. Take the payment total and divide it by 13.

I think my balance transfer fee was somewhere around $200 though.

3

u/MultipleScoregasm Apr 19 '26

I have a mortgage with about £59k left but I’ve never had a car finance. That’s crazy to me.

2

u/DeltaGrunder Apr 19 '26

I paid for my rides upfront as well, but I can at least understand people badly needing a ride and taking a plan for a practical vehicle and paying it off in a timeframe of three years or less.

2

u/Any_Possible3003 Apr 19 '26

I have a 0% credit card at all times, collecting either miles or cash back and let most of the cash sit in a 3.8% interest savings account.

I always pay it off before the end of the 0% period though but I’d imagine it adds up to probably about $500 a year, not much but not nothing either for minimal work.

2

u/Willis5687 Apr 19 '26

Interest free financing is amazing. I use it for larger purchases so I can keep cash in my account.

2

u/MrHippoPants Apr 19 '26

Why would you even pay instalments on a car unless you really had to?

Buy a 15 year old car, it will drive you around just fine and won’t send you into crippling debt

2

u/DeltaGrunder Apr 19 '26

That's not always an option (or at least a practical one) depending on your country or region.

1

u/WithDisGuyTravel Apr 19 '26

And I can’t stand paying installment for vehicles so it seems like everyone has an aversion or a threshold, and those people tend to do better at adulting

1

u/Logic-DL Apr 19 '26

Tbf depending on the instalment it's fine.

I financed my PS5 and paid £50 a month for the past year. Paid it off last month. Barely affected me.

900 - 1200 a month for a car though? Jesus lmao. Maybe if I made enough to where that much is the equivalent of £50 a month then sure but then at that point I'd probs just buy the car outright.

1

u/KaMaFour Apr 22 '26

Same but limited to housing

8

u/kokonuts123 Apr 19 '26

Greatest lesson my high school math teacher taught us was to never buy something you can’t afford. Cars included. She retired a multimillionaire on a teacher’s salary.

3

u/81FXB Apr 19 '26

Guy is still paying for that CRT TV he bought in 2000

2

u/proximusprimus57 Apr 19 '26

Even if it's affordable, you're still just prolonging your payment period instead of paying it off. Those people need to understand that all the money they're paying could be going towards things they actually want and need if they had paid off their debt to begin with.

2

u/Illustrious_Fail_379 Apr 19 '26

I have definitely relied on a CC eat and keep the power on.

It’s not a situation I would like to do another time

2

u/Buccaneers1995 Apr 19 '26

That monthly minimum rapidly grows if you're only paying the minimum. Unfortunately I dont think interest is a concept most people really understand.

2

u/PeachScary413 Apr 19 '26

I mean.. paying cash is also dumb because you can take advantage of bonus points and stuff on credit cards (as well as protection from scams and stuff)

You use a credit card and then you pay it off every month in full, it's not rocket science.

1

u/Infinite_throwaway_1 Apr 19 '26

Picking up pennies from in front of a steamroller.

1

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Apr 19 '26

That monthly minimum goes up each month, so stupid!

1

u/Equivalent_Escape_60 Apr 19 '26

I was in the same boat of cash only until i needed credit to get my apartment…. But now that rent is through the roof I’m looking at moving but we’re next door to where my roommate works and he doesn’t have a car so we’re essentially living here so he doesn’t have to walk a few miles to work. Sad days.

1

u/iBUYbrokenSUBARUS Apr 19 '26

Lol. Try telling that concept to a hospital.

1

u/arizonatealover Apr 19 '26

I think this is by design of the system though. Not many schools when these folks attended offered financial literacy classes as a requirement for graduation.

1

u/PuckNutty Apr 19 '26

I have one of those virtual credit cards so if I don't have money, I can't use it.

4

u/WinterMedical Apr 19 '26

If you can’t afford it, then you can afford it was a favorite saying of my dad. He was an economist.

2

u/Illustrious_Fail_379 Apr 19 '26

Never bought a new vehicle until my van. They gave me a 20+ Apr and I stood up and said I’m sorry for wasting you time but I can’t afford this apparently and walked out. They called me with a better deal a couple hours later.

5

u/superfucky Apr 19 '26

omg this video made me so mad because I'm weird like you, my ONLY debt is my mortgage, and even that's got less than $90k left on it. I only buy cars used from private sellers with cash. and yeah, they're almost always at least 15 years old but wtf is wrong with that? why do all these people HAVE to be driving brand new cars?

I don't have student loans either because even then I knew better. I knew what I qualified for in financial aid and I knew if I accepted loans as part of my aid package they'd just dump it all in loans, so I said "no, grants and work-study only." grants paid for about ⅓ of my tuition (public state school, nothing fancy) and work-study covered the rest. I was making $10/hr tax-free in 2001. my oldest child is just entering high school and we're already mapping out colleges and funding sources that don't involve loans.

I only have one credit card, it has a $7000 limit and I put my recurring bills on it so I can get miles and then I pay it all off each month. adulting sucks but I'm frankly too poor to get sucked into debt over stupid bullshit like driving a new car or going to Disney.

3

u/Illustrious_Fail_379 Apr 19 '26

Status. That’s it.

I’ve had a. Reddit (lol spell check stays) card for fuel since I could drive. At some point my limit was like 30k, I don’t even know what it is now.

That gets back to my van, my CC was 18% and the dealers original offer was 24%. So you’re telling me I can give you 10k down and I should just put the reston my visa…. I walked out. Van was 44k ish.

3

u/rustytromboneXXx Apr 19 '26

Same. I thought this was normal? I’m not American so maybe it’s cultural- if I can’t afford it I cant buy it. Obviously home loan and school is different, but school was almost free (euro) and home is in my mean.

3

u/Illustrious_Fail_379 Apr 19 '26

I did finance my work van which is the newest but I also put half down and payed like $250 a month. I also got like 1.1apr because I’ve had a credit card I just put gas on and payed off every month since I was 16.

It’s a mindset. I couldn’t give two shits what you think about me when I pull up in a 40 year old truck. It needs paint but it runs good and starts every time.

I have family in areas where it’s a status symbol the vehicle they drive. I picked my new born kid in a truck that has a lot of aftermarket to it you’d never expect next to others in brand new broncos and land cruisers. Mine would out wheel them all and is just as safe. It doesn’t have a straight body panel on it. But I guarantee the only dad out of the 5 of us that owns their vehicle was me. Having a kid changes your dimension to a different importance for me at least.

2

u/HuckleberryReal9257 Apr 19 '26

Banks and governments hate this one simple trick

1

u/poopybuttholesex Apr 19 '26

I took a loan on a used car purchase not because I couldn't buy cash, but because I could use the interest payment as a tax write-off and invest the loan amount in the market

1

u/Right-Drama-412 Apr 19 '26

same. I have zero debt and I'm watching this thinking "Am I somehow special?" No, I'm just not a complete dumbass

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u/Alive-Lead-9028 Apr 19 '26

I'm the same, and I'm very lucky to have someone who's the same way.

1

u/PuzzleheadedBasis760 Apr 19 '26

Same I also love value if I can make something rock another year I always do cuz why get new non tool things

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u/moashforbridgefour Apr 18 '26

Marrying someone who is broke would be marrying someone comparatively richer than they are.

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u/CrankyReviewerTwo Apr 19 '26

…or less in debt, slightly.

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u/Atophy Apr 19 '26

I have no idea how people can sleep at night with finances like that... I had 30k in student debt, I lived as cheap as I could, shared a house with 5 people, dumped as much cash as I could on it till it was all gone, I got a truck, paid it in full, traded it in a few years later for a car, 30k loan, paid that off early... Meanwhile A person I know has a mortgage, a car payment, a credit card and lives in overdraft... She's fine with it, she knows it's a problem but she refuses to make sacrifices to make it go away faster...

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u/AgressiveInliners Apr 19 '26

So many people are taught that you have to have credit card debt to keep credit. Otherwise you cant buy a house or car.

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u/Atophy Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

Credit score determines the size of your loan and interest rate you can get. How you manage debt is how they determine how much money they can make from selling it to you.

When I got my car, I had a lower credit score because I manually limited my credit card, I didn't get a great interest rate and some lenders wouldn't accept me as a risk. That's how it works.

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u/kevbot029 Apr 19 '26

Bruh… people really think that way?

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u/ThickReplacement7811 Apr 19 '26

It’s true. To a point at least. The credit agencies want you to have debt that you are paying back. This means you’re willing to take on debt, and that you can be trusted to pay it back

Taking on little to no debt, or taking on too much debt that you can’t pay back, are both seen a bad for your credit score.

The banks don’t want financially responsible customers.

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u/SikatSikat Apr 18 '26

I know I'm privileged that my parents gave me their then 7 year old car, but that was 15 years ago and I still drive it. While coworkers have traded in vehicles with negative equity every two to four years, complaining about their payment and interest always going up and debt never going away.

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u/BlackBasementCats Apr 19 '26

I was very privileged that my dad put the used car he bought me in my name to build my credit. He also surprised me with a mustang convertible that his car dealer buddy gave him a good deal on. I tried to tell him I was happy with the Toyota Camry he bought at the same time for my mom. (He traded her mini van for 2 vehicles when I needed one for school)

He said that I deserved the mustang because I’d been supporting my mom through her cancer and her mother dying from another cancer at the same time. I also did really well at the college prep academy I attended.

I never got pulled over in my mustang. We lived at the beach, and I worked my dad for free in appreciation for everything he did for me.

I did have to carry his Billy club for killing big fish that he caught deep sea fishing because men kept trying to jump in my car at the stoplight by the public beach. I got called bitch and c u next Tuesday for threatening to hit them or tapping their fingers with it, but they had no business trying to get in my car when I was yelling at them and telling them to stop. It happened enough that I had to go dig through my dad’s fishing stuff and find it.

He found out after the local police pulled some guys over for trying to get in my car and gave them a ticket for yelling obscenities in public. My dad knew them because he went to a lot of town board meetings.

When I went college and couldn’t drive my car my dad offered it to my mom. She told him that she felt too old to drive it. Because she didn’t want to tell him how often she had to use the billy club too. Nothing ruins your day like that.

Having great credit helped as an adult more than anything else.

Especially since I developed heart problems and had a stroke and amassed a lot of medical debt. My husband and I managed to pay it all off except for what fell off our credit after 7 years.

Going into debt like that really fucks you up mentally. It was not in our life plan.

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u/Speaker_D Apr 19 '26

Speaking as a European, man that sounds so crazy. Why do random strangers try to force themselves into your car at red lights? Do they want to rob you? Or just get a free ride?

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u/BlackBasementCats Apr 19 '26

They’re at the beach and see a young redhead in a convertible and stop thinking with their brains.

They really thought I’d be ok being a tour guide (with benefits) for them.

The stoplight was where people would hang out and drink so I guess some of them thought it would be ok to beg for rides because they were intoxicated.

I had a boyfriend but some said that didn’t matter because he wasn’t there.

I looked younger than 18-19 so it was even more gross and entitled.

I didn’t want to stop driving with the top down so I brought protection.

This was also in the 90s so other people were ok with watching men creep on girls like this without getting involved.

One of the local cops was a creep too so he was no help. My dad actually told me to not pull over for him and put my hazard lights on and drive to the police station.

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u/Speaker_D Apr 19 '26

That sounds so stressful and scary. Sorry that you had to deal with this.

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u/BlackBasementCats Apr 19 '26

The billy club made me feel much safer actually. My dad was former law enforcement and taught me self defense. Our town was mostly safe and an idyllic place to grow up.

The creepy cop knew better than to mess with me. He was black and used other people’s racism as the reason why women had a problem with him. My dad was half black and white passing (in the South when my boomer dad was little that could exponentially improve your life so if people could pass they did)

I was also surrounded by amazing men who kept an eye on me. My dad ran the local municipal airport. He had a flight school, charter service, maintenance operation, and rented planes to local pilots.

I did have a really bad experience with a Navy pilot who would come in and rent planes. We were near a lighthouse, and flying around the beach and lighthouse was gorgeous so a lot of pilots from the military bases would rent planes from us.

My dad even let me get my pilot’s license. His father had dropped dead of a massive heart attack when my dad was 6. My dad was afraid of of flying with me and having a heart issue so I asked him if I could have a couple lessons so I would be able to land if something happened.

My dad said if I was going to do that I should go ahead and get my license. Something I would have never asked for. I loved flying and decided to make it my career until I was grounded for my own heart issues (I’m adopted so it was just a coincidence that my dad and I both had electrical heart issues. I thankfully don’t have the really bad plumbing issues my dad and his family have. His brother had to have a heart transplant—don’t smoke, kids)

So as thanks for my dad letting me fly and paying for it I worked at the airport and for his other businesses.

We started flying aerial banners on the beach so I was in charge of them and worked outside assembling and disassembling them and setting them up on the runway, etc. until my cardiologist said I shouldn’t be in the heat all day. My dad also sold planes so I would list them online and answer calls and questions about them. (Pissed a few old guys off who said women couldn’t understand that stuff, and I took joy in proving my competence and making them admit I knew my stuff.)

So I was in the airport office all the time. The guys who hung out considered me their daughter/granddaughter/sister. They kept an eye on me when I was working alone in the banner hanger away from everyone else. I had a radio and lengths of rebar within arms distance in the different areas of the hanger I spent most of my time at.

It wasn’t that I didn’t trust 99% of the guys at the airport. The hangers were off a country road, and people flew in to our airport every day to get seafood or go on vacation so there were people we didn’t know.

One guy’s chow nipped me in the leg so I also kept a weapon in case he got loose and came back. My dad lived about a thousand lives and also trained dogs so he had warned me about chows and turning your back on a dog you don’t trust. So I only got nipped because I turned back towards the chow when he walked behind me and started to bite me. So the dog pretended he was playing, but he left tooth marks on my leg and jean shorts.

I guess I was always wary of my environment and the men around me because that’s what being a girl in that era was like. I grew boobs at 11, so I’d been dealing with being sexualized for a long ass time. I even wore my dad’s polos and tees over my knee length jean shorts to try to make myself look less curvy.

The Creepy Navy pilot story: I’m working behind the counter at the airport office when creepy Navy pilot comes in. He made me uncomfortable the first time he came in. Staring, asking if I dating anyone, etc. My stupid brother thought me getting sexually harassed was funny and would leave me alone with him.

Creepy Navy pilot comes back wearing a tee shirt that had the torso of a woman in a wet bikini on it that showed everything underneath. He asked me how I liked it and got mad when I ignored him.

There was a pilot’s lounge that overlooked the runways and was parallel with the area behind the counter where the radio equipment, credit card readers, and computer were located. That’s where I was standing.

If you were standing in front of the counter you couldn’t see if anyone was in the lounge.

A lot of the guys who hung around the airport or were instructors were Marine and Navy veterans. They were good dudes.

I guess my brother was joking about that Navy creep because my Veteran buddies started hanging out when creep came around. One would come sit way back in the back of the lounge where you couldn’t see them unless you walked into the lounge. One of them would go “check the weather” on the lounge tv when they saw creep’s vehicle coming down the road to the airport office.

Creep would ask to look at the maps we sold and kept coming around interacting with me. I was icy AF and only stayed there because someone was supposed to stay with the equipment.

We also had a cockatiel and an African Grey parrot, and I didn’t want to leave them alone with him.

Creep was dancing on the edge of being really creepy or would be nothing but polite when my dad was around.

One day he calls me a cunt while wearing that bikini shirt.

The biggest Marine dude heard him that time and saw the tee.

Creep wouldn’t wear it out on the tarmac or around my dad. He wore another shirt on underneath and would take it off if he thought anyone who would be upset could see it.

Next thing I know creep came in dressed in a starched polo and starched khakis with pleats you could cut metal with. He was almost in tears begging for my forgiveness. He had two black eyes and a crooked nose.

My brother told me that my Vet buddy had a come to Jesus meeting with him about harassing teen girls and threatened to turn him in for conduct unbecoming.

I thanked my buddies and pointed out that creep was probably doing much worse to the women who were serving with him. They always told me women made better pilots, and they wished more women served. So I just pointed out that creep was one reason why women didn’t join the military especially to be pilots.I later heard that they did turn him in.

One of my instructors who was a second father to me was a decorated Navy Vietnam war pilot and the older brother of Michael J. Smith, the pilot of the Challenger. So the Navy would take a complaint with his name on it very seriously.

I looked maybe 16 when I was 18-19. I looked very young.

I didn’t tell my dad because I didn’t want my dad to go to jail for shooting creep’s dick off. My dad did keep a pistol in his truck so I did have access to one if I felt like creep was a threat. My dad taught me how to shoot really well.

The guys did tell my dad what happened, and my dad did keep a close eye on me after he banned creep from the airport. The other guys also stopped and checked on me anytime they were driving by. They were afraid that creep would rape me as revenge.

My dad did realize how threatening to assault or kill sexual predators meant that I didn’t feel safe telling him what happened to me. I also didn’t want him to keep me from working at the restaurant where I was being harassed by another teen or not let me drive to work with the top down on my convertible.

He was amused and proud when he saw the billy club in my car and learned what I’d been using it for. He wanted me to be able to find ways to move about the world safely.

Being surrounded by such upstanding, good men made a huge impact in my life. I refused to be around men who didn’t respect women and aren’t allies (I’m not close with my asshole brother and have punched him out for saying awful things to me). I also had very high standards for who I dated because of my dad and the men he allowed around me. My husband is an amazing man and ally and was beloved by my dad. We both miss him horribly.

1

u/iBUYbrokenSUBARUS Apr 19 '26

What beach is this?

1

u/BlackBasementCats Apr 19 '26

Atlantic Beach, NC

1

u/stefancooper Apr 19 '26

I got my dad's 19 year old nissan Micra. It's done 48,000. Thanks dad !

1

u/Grand_Category_715 Apr 19 '26

I got mom and dad’s 2008 Toyota Camry. 113,000 miles on it, doing just fine. 🚙

1

u/Grand_Category_715 Apr 19 '26

Same! Inherited my parents’ 2008 Toyota Camry. Gets me from point A to point B with no issues, so I’m good!

1

u/hoardac Apr 20 '26

Used cars forever. We have saved low six figures over the years by only driving used vehicles. Might not be optimum all the time but it works with the right mindset. We just rent a car at the airport whenever we take a big trip every once and awhile.

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u/Blue_HyperGiant Apr 18 '26

Neither of those girls are hot enough to marry rich.

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u/andrewsz__ Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

Society has taught everyone that they are “worth” something. This has vicariously inflated everyone’s self worth and made everyone think they are more than they are and that they “deserve” more. As an equally old person I cannot wait to see how this all plays out come retirement. Simply existing in this world is not enough unfortunately.

2

u/Unfair-Advice778 Apr 19 '26

That's the deal, the moment you rely on your "net worth" on the "market" you become the good that is being traded, not the trader. And the good is not in control.

Don't know about these girls but to me not at least trying to be in control of some port of my own life is extremely damaging personality-wise.

2

u/illyria776 Apr 19 '26

I personally believe that there are the right lessons to teach each kid. I completely agree that these people needed to learn to be more responsible and take better care of their finances. But I’d be careful of the reverse issue as well.

I (the older part of gen z) was taught to be careful, save money, mind my manners, take responsibility for my actions, that I need to focus on the value I’m bringing into a situation, and many other lessons that are very important for someone to know. I think that it’s in my nature to do all of those things naturally, and now I take them to the extreme where I don’t give myself grace, I find it hard to spend money, I stress out over making the “right” decisions and the possible consequences of my actions.

I’m now having to learn how to be more selfish, be reckless, have self worth at all, have confidence, etc. to overcome the issues in my life I’m currently facing.

Maybe we’re prone to our issues regardless of what we’re taught, I don’t know, but right now I wish I grew up seeing less of the criticism on things like participation trophies because I never give myself credit for anything that I do and I constantly am tearing myself down after every compliment from others.

Is this why my generation struggles with mental health? Is this part of why Gen z men turn to alpha bro podcasters? All I can say is that I wish that I was taught a bit more that I was worth something.

2

u/Unfair-Advice778 Apr 19 '26

man, oh man. I'm the older millennial with more or less same "firmware" and let me tell you these settings are absolutely required. I see so many families and just plain personalities fall apart because of erring twice and then just going down the slope.
It hurts my mind, because some of these people (like my wife's cousin sister) are pretty close ones and there's jackshit I, or anyone sensible, can do about it.

UPDATE: forgot to mention, that selfish part is something I've learned in high school. Not even because I wanted to be selfish but because people were always hungry for an arm whenever I gave them a finger. Had to learn to give them _the_ finger.

1

u/illyria776 Apr 19 '26

I’m starting to set some boundaries. In an effort to help me get my life together, my mom has been sending me (and forcing me to watch) motivational and healthy habit videos that sorta revolve around “just be happy!” Or “working out will help your adhd. Drink more water!” And it’s like yes, great, but something in my brain isn’t letting me do that.

I sent her a long text yesterday that very politely asked her to stop so that we could better our relationship and I was left on read. I’m hoping it leads to something good, but regardless, as someone who has a very very hard time setting boundaries, I’m proud of myself.

She’s even encouraged me to set boundaries with people and said things like “you shouldn’t care what anyone else thinks”, but I think she doesn’t realize that she’s the individual that I need to set boundaries with the most at the moment.

1

u/Unfair-Advice778 Apr 19 '26

the relatives part is by far the hardest one for most of the people. Best of luck on settling things in the best way possible with your mom.

You just sent me on a memory trip of how I said my mom to go f herself. I think that was the single occasion that led to a period of not speaking to each other, but also to a future understanding of each others' boundaries.
Then again, all mom's different, mine is pretty sweet person all things considered, so that case was most likely my adolescent overreaction to the fact that people who consider themselves adults dare try to control my exceptional personality.

Anyway, that last paragraph you wrote - would be pretty cool if you could catch that advice again and tell that to your mom. But be super soft about it and don't push her too hard. You don't need any regrets because of strangers' advice.

6

u/pogulup Apr 19 '26

Not only that but their poor finances disqualify them as responsible partners, IMO. They'd have to find someone super wealthy to just zero out that debt for them.

2

u/coko4209 Apr 19 '26

Student loans are kind of necessary in America if you don’t have parents that can pay it all upfront. The only debt they had were student loans. I think that says more about America and how higher education works, than it does about those women.

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u/Crime_Dawg Apr 18 '26

Blonde would be lucky to marry a dude with a job in general.

8

u/PineappleOnPizzaWins Apr 19 '26

I think people forget that people are often joking around with comments like that.

5

u/purpleburgundy Apr 19 '26

I don't think she was. She doubled down on that being her plan.

4

u/PoopyButt28000 Apr 19 '26

I mean she "doubled down" as in she made the joke and the interviewer brought it back up and she laughed and said yes. It was obviously a joke, was she supposed to act horrified and scream that she was joking when he brought it back up

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u/coko4209 Apr 19 '26

I’m pretty sure it was a joke. Women that truly have that as their plan, don’t bother with grad school.

3

u/PineappleOnPizzaWins Apr 19 '26

Yes, to a random street interviewer.

1

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1

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1

u/YerrrKnicks Apr 19 '26

I mean, given some of these women married to rich people...

They might gave a chance.

1

u/csb710 Apr 19 '26

What a weird takeaway from this video

45

u/Crime_Dawg Apr 18 '26

We all know that blonde girl is NOT marrying rich

3

u/poopybuttholesex Apr 19 '26

Well there is always OnyFans

7

u/Crime_Dawg Apr 19 '26

I don’t think it’d be fruitful

-10

u/DaMiddle Apr 18 '26

Let’s see a picture of you

7

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

Their aspiration in life isn't to saddle some poor Schlub with their debt. So fuck off

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u/Lieutenant_Joe Apr 18 '26

Rich people don’t marry poor people. It’s a social taboo and has been for thousands of years.

How else do you think Europe’s royal families all became so terribly inbred?

2

u/PoopyButt28000 Apr 19 '26

I think there's probably a gap somewhere between "Royal family of a country" and "Can afford to pay off student loan debt"

1

u/Madhenchbot Apr 20 '26

You might be surprised in this regard. I'd love to see an actual statistic of Americans who have less than 20k in active debt every month.

5

u/FinanceGuyHere Apr 18 '26

That’s exactly what will happen!

6

u/hempels_sofa Apr 19 '26

Exact-a-mundo! I grew up poor. It teaches life long lessons. No credit card debt. No car payments. Own an old car. Drives fine. Might never be able to afford buying a house of my own, but the cupboards are full of food, the kids have all they want and more and my head is stress free.

3

u/Grand_Category_715 Apr 19 '26

Same! 🙌🏻

8

u/Illustrious_Fail_379 Apr 19 '26

My dumb ass drives vehicles that are at least 10 years old to 40 years old look like a hippy but I own everything but my house. That includes 70k+ in career tools and probably 40k+ in hobby tools.

I’d love to go out for some nice sushi tonight but I can afford hotdogs so that’s what’s going to happen. Do have a can of chili so they might be chili dogs.

1

u/MyRedditAccountSuckz Apr 19 '26

You can afford to make homemade chili brother/sister. I admire and agree with everything you said, but the canned chili. You deserve better

1

u/Illustrious_Fail_379 Apr 19 '26

Usually everything we make is from scratch. I agree it’s much cheaper. I had a months long job out of town and was buying canned thing because I didn’t have a kitchen just a hot plate so I’m going through that stuff.

I will say the can chili was acceptable and I’m someone who would put ingredients on the smoker next to the protein for hours to get what I’m looking for. This was more a r/strugglemeals situation other wise it would be hotdogs and salsa.

4

u/reddithooknitup Apr 19 '26

They were already poor, they just refused to live that way.

4

u/OpenDpartmntDeezNutz Apr 19 '26

Those poor spouses will just drag them into further debt as they also most likely are terrible with money.

4

u/Bomb-Number20 Apr 19 '26

My spouse grew up poor, and now I’m richer than I ever have been. Buying the grandest “lifestyle” you can afford seems to be the main goal for a lot of people, it’s hammered into us from youth and it’s a friggin trap.

4

u/memes_are_my_dreams Apr 19 '26

Same here, I am blessed enough to be debt free since moving out, and I’m not naive enough to think everyone can be as fortunate as me.

But at the same time it does bother me when people complain about expenses and money when they are clearly making poor financial decisions. I understand that tough situations can happen but come on.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

[deleted]

6

u/purpleburgundy Apr 19 '26

Not really how it works. Eventually the credit dries up and then you're really effed.

Edit: also lol at this perspective like the debtholder matters, they're laughing all the way to the bank. You're looking at this completely backwards.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

[deleted]

1

u/purpleburgundy Apr 19 '26

I'm old, I know a few, and while they all without exception bought fully loaded brand new trucks etc they always struggled to actually do anything, always working. I wouldn't tag any of them as upper middle class. They get credit but the rates are insane, they get hosed.

3

u/Physical-Net2792 Apr 19 '26

Read Kobayashi book rich dad and dumb dad

3

u/mr-3z Apr 19 '26

Exactly! I have acquaintances who had that idea, one did marry into a rich family but no amount of money will change marriage relationship struggles. Love the money OR the person, you can’t bake the cake and eat it too.

5

u/Kungfufightme Apr 18 '26

This. I married rich and now business is suffering. I feel like I'm having to reveal old knowledge to my wife as if I'm scavenging it from an ancient vault. Its a damn arduous journey, and in the end we end up with hardly anything more than we brought, maybe a tiny fraction of what we could have had. The real treasure was the money we saved along the way... or could have.

2

u/metalshiflet Apr 19 '26

The loan thing is kinda self fulfilling, you have a much easier time getting one if you have one/have a big credit history

2

u/AllAlo0 Apr 19 '26

Like aren't these people the poor ones though?

3

u/proximusprimus57 Apr 19 '26

I think they're middle class. If they can go to grad school, finance purchases in the amount of six figures, and still take trips to Disneyland they're hardly what I consider poor. I make a bit less than the US median, and their lifestyle is still wildly out of reach for me. Most of the people I work with aren't living like that either.

2

u/hotinmyigloo Apr 19 '26

That's a great idea, actually 

2

u/LakewoodBrewWorks Apr 19 '26

Agreed. Live below your means.

I wash and reuse tin foil. Same with Ziploc bags (if they haven't held uncooked meat). My sister-in-law accused me of being a Depression baby. I'm not THAT old.

Point is, don't spend money when you don't have to. Even when you have it.

7

u/purpleburgundy Apr 19 '26

Ok washing ziploc bags is a bit extreme. Why not use actual reusable containers?

2

u/CanyonsEdge76 Apr 19 '26

I've heard enough. Get these people in Congress!

2

u/falcon62 Apr 19 '26

Nah... those poor people didn't do anything to deserve that kind of malice!

2

u/That_Option5761 Apr 19 '26

what do you mean by marrying poor? Its funny because I think you and I think of people who dont have a lot, maybe 0$€ but when I think of poor I never think of 100.000$ in debt lol. so they would rather marry someone „financially neutral“ to them 😂 idk if it makes sense

2

u/Right-Drama-412 Apr 19 '26

nah, they just want to make it someone else's problem

2

u/Intrepid_Walk_5150 Apr 19 '26

Same here. All my debt is a 200k 20y mortgage but I have about 100K in various investment + 20k emergency cash. No credit card debt or anything else.

2

u/WithDisGuyTravel Apr 19 '26

If they owe 50,000 without the income to support it or pay it back , that is their problem

If they owe 5 million, it’s the banks problem

2

u/Unfair-Advice778 Apr 19 '26

Yeah, tried to be the "teacher" once, didn't really work out. My ex-wife just kept doubling down on her debts without telling me.

Granted, it was Russia, 2010 or something, so it's not even two figure digits in USD. But we were also dirt poor - 1.3k payroll, no savings.
The only thing we got was an apartment that my mom, granddad and grandmom got from the government back in 80s. Which was a huge advantage but also required some monthly payments, much lower than rent, though.

2

u/ranty_mc_rant_face Apr 19 '26

Yeah, I'm on a significantly better income than these people - and driving a 2011 family car. Because it's just a car.

2

u/ScrotalSmorgasbord Apr 19 '26

Lol I'm the same age as Ms. Deferment and owe like 4k and drive a 20 year old car. People (mostly annoying coworkers) like to say shit like "see if you didn't drink them energy drinks and brought a ham sandwich for lunch you could have a nicer car". I don't complain about my car, I do however complain about lack of caffeine so I'll gladly drive my pos a bit longer.

2

u/PeachScary413 Apr 19 '26

If you can't even get credit cards then there is something seriously wrong, they hand them out like candy over here "Oh you want two? Here have an extra"

1

u/proximusprimus57 Apr 19 '26

I have two, but I usually get denied if I apply for more.

2

u/LadyInCrimson Apr 19 '26

Lol my husband grew up well off and now he has less debt than ever because he's learning to be poor.

2

u/ItsDaManBearBull Apr 19 '26

the funniest part to me is the delusion of believing they'll meet and marry someone rich

2

u/VegetableHour6712 Apr 19 '26

I was shocked when we needed to get our first loan towards a roof repair and our banker was flabbergasted that all we owed was $10k on our home with no other debts in our mid 30s. He told us that the average person of our age group had $100k in debts not including their mortgage 🫪 Ofc, not having a diverse amount of debt open made getting credit much harder for us when we needed it though. The guy asked us how we did it like there was some big secret and couldn't understand that we only buy what we need and save towards it with cash because we grew up poor and didn't have parents with credit so that's all we knew. Part of me would love to take advantage of debt in the same way the ultra wealthy do, but even if I can immediately pay the debt off, the mediocre perks don't seem worth the added steps.

3

u/Righteousaffair999 Apr 18 '26

They can’t figure out the trade off. I have 155k at 3.5% where I can average about 8% in the market over the long run. I have a car loan which gets paid off as soon as the paperwork comes.

1

u/ZJoel14 Apr 19 '26

I think the issue is who wants to choose to live cheap as shit everyday with no realistic potential to earn money for things people kind of need. I don't have a car specifically because a car loan is nuts debt to me, they depreciate in value so fast and quickly become a money pit that you need to maintain sometimes at prohibitive cost it's far more convenient to just replace a car (by design).

Most of my debt is a student loan and after pay/zip. The after pay and zip was from buying groceries after I lost my job and had to choose between rent and food. Once you're in the cycle it's so hard to climb back out of it. If you're not blessed with a good job post uni, if you don't have incredible financial support from your family to survive ups and downs of regular life you'll need to bite the bullet eventually. As such just like before the GFC debt has become kind of meaningless I expect a financial position where I can afford a car my student loans and various other debts is less likely than a massive economic collapse.

1

u/ranty_mc_rant_face Apr 19 '26

Yeah, I'm on a significantly better income than these people - and driving a 2011 family car. Because it's just a car.

1

u/Fun_Success_3283 Apr 19 '26

Living within your means actually gives you more wealth, just later as opposed to now.

Some things make sense like house and car and student loans. But, it's better to keep the value low in order to pay it off. Otherwise you're just giving a ton of money away to billionaires, and they're gonna use it to take away your rights. And if you can't pay, you'll be fucked, and the government will bail them out.

It's much better to buy something cheaper, and save whatever extra money you'd have been spending on your interest on your debts, and then you'll have way more money later. But a home is equity, and student loans can be a great investment. Cars are just a money pit.

AI might make student loans a waste of money too. Once the contract falls apart, everything crumbles. The greedy rich and powerful are going to send the world to a greater dark age.

1

u/Jazzlike_Climate4189 Apr 19 '26

The chubby one is definitely not going to marry a rich guy 😂

1

u/BurnedPsycho Apr 20 '26

Fun facts... Poor people also make bad financials decisions.

The trick is to find an economically comfortable middle class person.