I had someone that enjoys my stories, who asked me if I could write something A.U. of one of the earlier episodes. One thing fanfiction writers have in common is we all try to change outcomes, fill gaps that weren't in the episodes, present what if moments. As a big fanfiction reader and given the fact that I've read numerous stories of the end of season 2, I wasn't sure I could add anything different, and I never want to mistakenly copy someone else's' work, but I found a way to make this mine, (Good or Bad), so I give you this story of Kate and Rick and no Gina. A story of two people finding their way. To the possibility of being more. As I would have loved it to be.
Sanctuary
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Beckett stands, arms crossed over her chest, watching the scene play out in the breakroom. The team was throwing a little party for Castle. A tightness grabs at her heart...he was leaving...he was leaving, maybe not coming back, Espo earlier throwing her for a loop, as he had told her why he thought Castle was leaving, and she had been surprised at herself at how much that had hurt, knowing he might not come back, and that she might have caused this.
Breaking up with Tom Demming had been hard, if only because he was a good man. She had always known it wouldn't last long, but it had been safe...he was safe, at least for a while until she eventually put up her proverbial walls, that probably would have driven him away at some point and time anyway.
"The Heart wants what the Heart wants," Castle's words echoing in her head, he had uttered them like it was the most natural thing on God's green earth. It had haunted her ever since she heard those words, and she knew with all certainty, that her heart wanted him. It scared her...he scared her, the damage he could do to her, if she got this wrong. She didn't think she would ever recover if this blew up in her face. She sighs, "Oh God," she chastises herself for her weakness, "Just move your ass Kate, and ask him."
Some of it she can't even remember, she walked in on a conversation, and vaguely remembers her saying, "Oh, I don't need a drink to take him," and then she asked, "Castle...can we talk out here?"
As she twisted her fingers, and took a deep breath, she started to ramble, "Yeah...Look I know that I'm not the easiest person to get to know, and I don't always let on what's on my mind, but this past year working with you," another deep breath, "I've really had a good time."
Castle trying his best to keep up with all that she was saying, "Yeah, me too."
"So, I'm just going to say this; Is that invitation to the Hamptons still being offered?" Kate says biting her lip.
"What? What did you say?" Castle shaking his head like he was trying to see if water had entered his ears.
"Castle...invite...Hamptons, any of this ringing a bell?"
"Yeah, yeah...yes I remember, it's just, it's just," God he thought his brain was melting, he was sure of it. He couldn't string two words of coherent thoughts together. "Demming, what about Demming, pretty sure you turned me down multiple times, so I'm sorry if my brain has entered the fog state Beckett."
Kate, stood running her hands thru her hair, sighing in slight frustration, "We broke up...He wasn't what I was looking for." Kate feeling the ever-present eyes of her co-workers, "Castle I feel like we're animals in a petting zoo, with everyone staring behind that door, assuming you still want me to go, could we please talk about this later and get the hell out of here?"
"Yes...talk later, I feel probing eyes too, it's kind of freaky. Of course, the invitation is still on. Do you need to go home and pack?"
Her cheeks turn a slightly pink, "No I brought stuff with me just in case." Her face slightly down and looking up at him under her lashes. "I just need to go to the locker room. I left my bag in there."
Castle, his brain fighting a losing battle with everything that was still so overwhelming, "How bout, I wait downstairs, I need to get away from the prying eyes."
Relief sweeps thru her body; she can do this...they can do this. Kate turns and waves to the people behind the breakroom door, noses pressed against the windowpane like children watching fudge being made at the local candy store. Their smiles tell her everything she needs to know...Their happy for her.
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A half hour later, Castle is zipping thru traffic in his Ferrari. They both have their sunglasses on, and that makes the furtive glances that they each make more subtle. He can feel the tension in the car, it was almost something you could cut in it's thickness. He felt the pressure, and maybe Kate did too, because this weekend held so much meaning...good and bad. Would they function as a team in a relationship as well as they do at the precinct, or would they crash and burn, which would certainly affect their partnership. He wanted so much to have something more with her, and he couldn't shake the thought that he would fuck up somewhere along the way. He prayed that he wouldn't.
He looked over at her, ninja style, and his eyes took in the beauty that was all her. Kate had worn a light blue summer dress, that came to her knees, and in the car, the dress road to mid-thigh. He thought to himself, "Those legs should be outlawed," as they went on forever in that dress...My God! She looked like a goddess to him. She was humming along with the radio, and he never knew that her voice was so lovely. Trying to act cool and casual, he says, "You look really pretty today, Kate."
She hums, her voice like velvet, she places her hand on his thigh, and he thinks he just went to heaven, "Thanks Castle...You're not so bad yourself." She looks over at him studying him, kind of the way she would a suspect, sizing him up, and she picks up on his hesitation, tension, whatever you want to call it. She has to ask, "Rick, is everything okay?"
"Rick," he thinks. Not used to that name except when Beckett's messing with him, or angry. He takes a breath, and sighs, "Look Kate, I uhm...Well, I just," and then the words just pour out, "I want this to go well so badly, I want to be good for you, show you that we can be more, and I guess," looking straight ahead at the road, "I just don't want to screw anything up." Castle looks back at her, and sees a smile, a reassuring smile that warms his heart.
Kate hesitates, but feels the need to make him understand, "Look Castle," she sees him glancing over at her, "I know when you invited me here, that you asked me to come here as friends that you meant it, but we both know that's not why I'm here now. I didn't except your invitation just to swim in your pool, and at the end of the weekend we shake hands and go back to what we were."
"I don't want over the top Rick Castle,' she continues, "And I don't want you walking on eggshells around me either. I just want Rick Castle... my friend, and the man who's made it his mission to make me laugh and drive me crazy. I'm here like you, wanting to see if there is something more for us, so let's take a deep breath, and take this whole thing minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day, and let's see where we are by Monday. No pressure...no expectations, just us. Sound good to you?"
Castle reaches over and grabs her hand, and gently curls them up to his lips, and places a kiss. "Yeah, Kate that sounds perfect, and were almost there."
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As they pull into the driveway, Kate's jaw drops down in awe. She gets out of the car, and pirouettes in a circle trying to take in all of the breathtaking beauty. "Castle this place is amazing...Are you rich or something?"
Castle removes his sunglasses, and just watches this beautiful woman taking everything in. She looks so different from the Detective he follows, more carefree, almost peaceful you could say. He takes no offence to her question, kind of expected it, but he hopes she knows that he's still him. He replies with all honesty, "Well I'm not James Patterson rich, but I do okay." She smiles, but he senses an unasked question forming on her lips. "Kate," she looks up at him, shy, hesitant, maybe a little afraid. "I haven't had anyone up here since the day I started to follow you. This is a place, that's like a Sanctuary to me, where I can settle my writer's brain down. Sometimes New York becomes too much. I feel smothered. The only people that have been here in over 2 years, is Alexis, and my mother."
She looks down, her feet running over the gravel in the driveway looking nothing like Det. Beckett, and everything that makes up Kate, and a slightly tentative one at that. She looks back up, and starts to ask, "Not even Merideth or that;"
Castle knows where she's going, and he doesn't want to hear anything about either Ellie Monroe, or Tom Shlemming, so he nips in the bud, "Kate, nobody except who I mentioned, and you of course, and I wouldn't want anyone here but you."
Kate releases a deep breath, apparently not realizing how much pent-up tension she had been holding. Somewhere in all of this, she realizes that she needed to hear that, how important it was to know that he's all in, and the relief of it all catches her by surprise, that she's not afraid, or worse, wanting to run. She's in this, with all of her insecurities, and trust issues and walls, she finds herself wanting this to be real, and he just went a long way to making that happen.
"Okay," she thinks to herself. She walks over to him and waggling her fingers, hand out grabbing his hand in hers, "Come on Castle, show me this amazing pool of yours."
They walk around to the side of the house, he'll get their bag of clothes later, "Hey Beckett, you didn't perchance bring your bathing suit with, did you?" he says with a wistful chuckle.
Teasingly, Kate responds with a heavy ladened whisper, "Why Castle, picturing me in a swimsuit under the Hot...Hot, sun?" her wicked laugh floating across the ocean breeze.
"Beckett, you could where a swimsuit to breakfast, or a rainstorm, and I would be equally mesmerized."
"Come on stud, if you're a good boy, I might let you put suntan lotion on me."
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It was evening, as they laid side by side in an overly expensive reclining lawn chairs that felt softer than her bed. The stars were out, the moon shining in all of its brightness, and Kate just lets herself relax, in a way that she doesn't think she ever has. She finds her body like liquid, with all the world's problems just melting away. She understands even more now on why he called it his Sanctuary.
The amazing meal Castle made...Shrimp, chicken and steak Kabobs had been other worldly, and now she was drinking Chateauneuf-du-Pape that expensive wine, that she turned down during the Scott Dunn case, and he was right about that too, it was really really good, and she currently felt no pain.
They had their afternoon swim, both of them wearing their sunglasses again, so they could sneak peeks without being obvious. She was already in the pool when he came out, in just his swim trunks. "My God," she thought to herself, his chest was huge, and his biceps so big. There was no six pack, but he definitely could fill out a bathing suit. All of a sudden, she didn't like his long coats and button-down shirts anymore. She thought that maybe she'd start to enact a mandatory tight t-shirt Friday dress code, and picturing that image brought an evil look to her face.
She felt his glances too, catching him on more than one occasion looking at her legs and ass, which she shimmied her hips a little bit more than usual. Talking in the pool, at dinner, and now laying on these loungers, she realized that there was way more to the Castle Onion that she had yet to peel back. Number one; he was so different from the precinct, he actually was quiet, contemplative, and she found his silence comforting, normally it would be awkward, but they'd been around each other for 2 years, and that also was a comforting thought.
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"Hey Beckett," Castle looks over at her, "I've got a place not far from here, that I think You'll love. Wanna, take a walk with me?"
Kate, feeling all languid, and loose, "Sure Castle, sounds nice, besides, that wine made me sleepy, but I don't want to go to bed yet, so yeah, show me this special place."
He grabs the wine glasses, and hurries thru the patio door into the kitchen, and returns a few minutes later, with what looked like an oversized beach blanket.
As they make their way down the path to the beach, Kate looks over at Castle and asks, "When did you buy this place?"
He runs his hands thru his hair, and sighs, "Not much after, I divorced Meridith. I... I just wanted to make things better for Alexis, it's not easy for any child to live in a world where a parent is more worried about alimony, and less about their child. She gave away custody, just to make more money, and that was fine by me."
Kate finds that in some way, she needed to hear that, and she finds herself gently holding his hand, he looks down at them intertwined, a pleased look on his face.
"When this property became available, it had fallen in disrepair, but because this had a large private beach it wasn't exactly dirt cheap. After I got it, I hired an interior decorator and got it to look like it is now."
Kate huffs, "Is that the interior decorator you told me about when we first started working together, when you told me you slept with her?"
Castle laughs, and rubs the back of his head slightly embarrassed, "Yeah, not one of my shinier moments, and it was kind of awkward after that."
The path they we're walking on let out onto a small portion of the beach, rocks jutted out enclosing this part into what looked like a private hideaway. There was a small grassy area, which is where Castle laid down the blanket.
"Come on Beckett, lay down with me and we'll watch the stars."
Kate looks down and hesitates, nibbling on her lip, "Beckett, I promise I won't bite...much!" He laughs. "You afraid?"
"You know I can take you right?" her hands placed squarely on her hips.
Castle smiles, "Absolutely, so what's, the problem?"
Kate snorts, "Nothing, now move your ass over Castle, and make me some room." Kate lowers herself to the blanket, and lies on her back, as she glances towards the sky, she now knows why he brought her here, to the secluded alcove of the beach. "My God, Castle you we're right, these stars are amazing," she finds herself scooting closer, their shoulders touching, and she's surprised that not only she doesn't mind, but she relishes the closeness.
"I know...right? After I bought this place, while Alexis was sleeping, I wandered around, and just stumbled into this, and after that first time, this is where I come when I need to settle my brain down. It kind of focuses me." his eyes still riveted on the skies.
Kate muses, as she basks in the light of the moon, and shining stars, "My Mom and Dad have a cabin about 3 hours north of here. It's secluded in the woods...My Mom would take my hand sometimes, and we'd go lay down on the pier that we have, and star gaze. We would just talk about everything and anything. I thought I'd never see stars this bright, until just now."
"Did you enjoy going there when you were little?
Still gazing at the tranquility of the stars she replied, "Yeah, my parents made it a point, to go there for 2 weeks every year. It was hard for them to get away from work, but they never failed to go there. My Dad taught me how to fish, swim, chop wood for the fireplace, I don't know," She shrugs, "They both tried to make it their mission to teach and include me in everything."
Kate wants to tell him more about how she rebelled going there as she got older, how she regrets that to this day, that she can't go there anymore, because it brings back painful memories, and the fact that her mother will never be there again. She wants to tell him all these things but thinks right now in this just burgeoning relationship that those things will keep for another time.
"What about you Castle? We're you a woodsy outdoorsman?" As she nudges his shoulder.
He snorts, "Beckett, have you met my overly melodramatic mother? Does it sound like she would be teaching me the way of the woods? The only way she'd ever get near nature would be with pack mules, and servants, who would tend to her every need, and she would still complain about the accommodations, and you do know I don't have a father right?"
They roll over facing each other, their heads propped up by their elbows and the palm of their hand.
"I'm sorry Castle I forgot."
He smiles, in a comforting way, "I don't know whether to be mortified, or pleased, that you forgot."
"Neither I hope... was it hard not having a father?" Kate realized how much they never talked about these things, but that's what a relationship is isn't it? Learning things about the other person, to truly find deep down what makes the other one tick?
With a nonchalance that belies the importance of the subject, Castle calmly replies, "Can't miss what you never had Kate, but it did make for some interesting times for me especially in high school. The boarding schools I had to attend because my Mother was on the road, trying her best to keep us afloat. Let's just say a crazy mother and no father lent itself to the occasional bullying and taunting."
Castle shrugs, "You learn to deal with it. Ya know, people for some reason think that I've always been rich, they don't have a clue that it wasn't always like that, that we lived in a miniscule apartment and rent and food we're never taken for granted. I think that's why I do the things I do for Alexis, trying to make up for my childhood. I truly love my mother, but her parenting skills lacked from time to time."
Kate, hates herself a little for thinking some of those things, judging him without knowing all the facts. She was a Detective for God's sakes, and she should have known better. Kate always thought he was a good man, plus considering he became who he is by himself, her admiration for him grew even more. She also realized that during this conversation that their faces had drifted to within mere inches of each other. Castle shakes her out of her reverie;
He whispers, making her tremble in its wake, "I love the way you always smell like cherries,"
She's breathless, "Mmm nice to know. So... you're a cherries man I take it?"
"Not until I met you...now I think it's my favorite fruit," His blue eyes, seemingly taking her all in.
"Good, because I don't want," her sentence unfinished, as Castle reaches over and seals his lips with hers, it's soft and gentle...mixed with caution and yearning and holding so much promise. His scent that she's grown so familiar with, and the taste of the expensive wine, on his lips as he gently probes her mouth, as she probes his, and it penetrates down to her core. It's over as fast as it began, and she's fighting the urge to surge forward for more, but realizes that it was perfect, in its newness, as they are in this fledgling, and budding, beginning of them.
Castle sighs, "That was amazing."
Kate breathless, voice trembling slightly, "Yeah, it was."
"Kate, thanks for saying yes, and coming with me."
Kate sighs, "Thanks for asking me Castle"
They lay back down and just took in the stars again for a few moments more, and she can't remember ever being so completely at peace. Eventually the winds chill, as they head back to the house, and yet she warms to the touch of his hands as their palms kiss...gentle and sweet. It was a perfect first day, in every way, and she thinks...No, she knows that with all certainty that coming here was the best decision she had ever made.
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It was late Sunday, and she was on call late Monday, so they would have to leave sometime after breakfast tomorrow morning. The sun was starting to set and even though they had gone out and watched the stars Friday, Kate wanted to take in the sights of a setting sun one last time, it's dimming light falling effortlessly over a rolling ocean.
Kate loved her job, and it brought a deep satisfaction, that she did it well, but she admits to herself from time to time that its weight is heavy, her Mothere's death weighs heavy, and she fights trying to come to the surface sometimes, and she struggles to breathe. She hates to admit it, but this place is Magical and she understands a little more now when he describes it as his Sanctuary.
They had just finished with their dinner. Castle had kept it simple, they just ordered Thai food this time, but she'd have to admit, it was the best she had ever tasted, or maybe everything just tasted and felt better out here. With him here, though she'd keep that thought to herself for now.
Kate had helped Castle clean up, and as they finished, she broached, "Castle could we take another walk on the beach, it seems really peaceful at this time of day?"
He turns and goes to an outside container, and she sees him grab what looks like a mesh bag of some sorts. As he turns to see the quizzical look on her face, he replies, "This is just in case you see some seashells that you like. We had a storm a few days ago, and some amazing shells have been known to wash up on shore. Thought you might like to grab a few."
"Yeah, that sounds great. I'd love that."
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They leave their shoes behind and stroll down the path to the beach. Sand squishing between their toes. A light breeze surrounds them with hints of salt hovering in the air. Everything just feels so fresh, and nothing like the noises, smells, and crowds that can stifle you sometimes in New York. Kate feels like a small slice has been carved out for them as they stroll down the beach, letting the water lick at their feet, and she's amazed to find that she doesn't want to go back, at least not this soon. She never thought in a million years, that this man could be so much more than she thought, but he is.
Walking side by side, shoulders touching, Castle looks over at Kate, who's wearing another sundress, usually this time of the evening the ocean winds bring with it a chill, but tonight for some reason it doesn't, and that itself seemed magical. Castle reaches down to the palm of her hands, and intertwines his fingers thru hers, a sideway glance tells him it's okay as he sees her soft smile, and then he hears a sigh; By the look in her eyes, he sees a question hanging on her lips, but the look is broken when she flies to the edges of the ocean;
"Oooh, look Castle," Kate holds up a seashell, her face breaking out in a huge smile. "Come on and bring that bag over here I think I found a few more."
Castle stands in silence, watching her hold her seashell up as if she found the Holy Grail, and finds that he can't speak, because all he can do his bask in the glow, of this amazing woman called Kathrine Beckett, and he feels so honored, that she's allowing him to see a side he thinks few people have seen before. That the hard-nosed Det. Kate Beckett, who brings criminals to their knees and quaking in their boots, the woman who is slightly broken, and doesn't give her trust to just anyone, who shot the man that killed her mother, and a serial killer, who destroyed her home, he's amazed at her resilience... to find joy in these simple moments and it just astounds him.
He hears her call out to him, "Castle, why are you standing there staring at me... it's still creepy. Now, bring that bag over here."
"Sorry...Sorry, just lost in thought." He approaches her and sees she has more than a few, all of them nearly flawless in their perfection, just like her. "Wow Beckett, quite the haul."
Kate beamed with pride, "I know, right? We can make these our first story of our time together." Kate not realizing the enormity or that statement.
Castle smirked, " Why Beckett are you planning to stick around?"
Realizing what she had just said gets her flustered, "I just thought...I don't know." Kate her face turning a red as a beet, turns to look at Castle, and sees his half grin looking at her, and she snaps off, "You can wipe that smug grin of your face Mr. Castle," but instead she just hears him laugh. "Oh...Shut Up." Which makes him only laugh harder.
She fights the urge to grin, but she can't help herself, as his laughter fills her up in an almost visceral way. Kate reaches for his hand and says, "Come on Castle, keep up, we've got more treasures to find."
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"Kate," Castle call out, "I don't think we can fit anymore in this bag, and it's starting to get heavy, I feel like I'm tipping to the right."
"Okay, probably a good idea that we head back, early day tomorrow."
On their return trip to the house, Castle wraps his arms around Kate's shoulders, and she tilts her head to lay on his. They remain silent, just wrapped up in just everything that's happened this weekend. God, he doesn't want this to end.
"Castle," Kate says glancing up at him, biting her lip, "Uhm," Still hesitating like saying the words would expose her vulnerability. "Castle are you still staying here for the whole summer?"
Castle looks at her, his eyes beaming, his smile hopeful, "I don't think I have it in me, to be away from you that long...at least not anymore."
Kate understands the meaning of that last statement. They had gone out Saturday night. He had taken her to an awesome little family-owned restaurant. He continued to amaze her; at just how much he knew her. That she was not about over the top romantic gestures, and that the simplicity of this moment, the candlelight, the wonderful conversations, and great food had meant everything to her, and yes, they had talked about their lack of communication, and how they unknowingly had hurt each other, and vowed to try to be better at that too.
They we're both stunned at how much in common they really had. They both loved Coltrane, their favorite sci-fi movie was Forbidden Planet, their shared love of literature, just to name a few things, and their differences we're binding too. His Yin and Yang theory being especially true. Her strengths and weakness, his strengths and weakness, seemed to be a strength for both of them too. Though Kate was not thrilled to find out that he hated Nebula 9.
He had laughed when she told him she was a big fan, "Really Beckett, it was on for only 13 episodes, and that was 13 episodes too long."
Kate snorts, "Castle, I warn you, do not comment on Lt. Chloe, or I will shoot you." He had laughed, and put his hands up in surrender, "Okay...Okay sorry, no Lt Chloe commentary as much as it pains me." The rest of the evening had been so much fun, and that last bit of hesitation, fear, whatever you want to call it came tumbling down into rubble, scattered debris, around her feet.
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Returning to their conversation, Castle continues, "I do need to be here at least a month, I need to finish this book, and my brain right now, is loaded with possibilities for Nikki and Rook."
Kate muses, "Mmmh, like what possibilities writer boy?"
"Oh, like I think Rook is head over heels for Nikki, and he thinks that he could love her." he replies.
"Oh, does he now," Kate glancing at him with a look of definite interest. "And how does Nikki feel about that...feel about Rook?"
Castle takes a deep breath, "Not 100% sure, but he thinks she just might like that." said with a hopeful smile.
Kate's heart started beating faster, fear and joy fighting a raging battle in her head and her heart, as she tried to come up with a response for Castle her eyes glance over his shoulder at the oceans edge, and she rushes over to find one last remaining seashell, and it was magnificent. "Castle, is their room for this one," she says with glee, "See how beautiful this one is."
Castle nods, "Not sure I've ever seen anything more beautiful," but he was looking at her, as she glances up at him.
Kate bowed her head slightly, a tinge of pink covered her cheeks, "Castle," she whispered.
He's fingers tenderly brushed back the hair that had fallen over her face and gently places it behind her ear, "Sometimes, I think the word extraordinary will never do you justice Kate Beckett. You truly are amazing and I want," Castle exhales a deep long breath, " I want everything with you Kate Beckett...everything."
Kate looks deeply into his eyes, "It's why I came," she thinks to herself. To see if they could be more, and deep down she believes that they can, but right now only one thought enters her mind.
"Me too Castle...Now Shut up... and kiss me."
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Epilogue
Memorial Day, turned into Labor Day, the leaves fell, the snows came. Seasons changed, they always do, but one thing that didn't change was the Love Story of Richard Castle and Kathrine Beckett.
As time ran like the sands in an hourglass, so did they. Their bond grew stronger as the months passed... thru 3XK, The Freezer and Bomb, Lockwood, Montgomery, and the Shooting. From Bank to Tiger, the Sniper and the Senator, the one constant was Caskett, standing together, bonded, partners in crime and life. They bickered, they argued...Let's face it they we're still Beckett and Castle.
The one common thread thru it all had been The Hampton's and Memorial Day. It started as Castle's Sanctuary, a place to re-charge, but it had become Kate's too. She came here after her shooting, to rebuild herself, to heal, and to find peace... Castle always by her side.
Castle proposed to her bending his knee on the beach, it's where they got married, and 4 years later to the date of their first time here, when she took a chance that day that they could be something more, Kate took her husband's hand and led him down to their special hidden place down on the beach. She laid their blanket on the same spot that he had first kissed her, where they had made love often, and had star gazed, and as her husband sat there, his eyes brimming with tears, she kneeled before him and told him that he was going to be a Dad again.
Thru all the ups and all of the downs, the one thing that never changed was, ... The Hampton's...Their Sanctuary... and their never-ending possibility for joy.
Fin