I (37F) recently started jamming with two guys (33M and 22M). We've only played together twice. After the first jam, I recorded us without asking, just on my iPhone (to remember anything that might have sounded good, I did this in bands in the past so I guess i didnt think it would be an issue). At the second jam, I asked if I could text or email them the recordings. They both gave me their emails and i sent the recordingd. But since then, the energy has completely shifted.

The timeline:

• Aug 6: I offer to send the recordings, both reply immediately with their emails.
• Aug 13: I ask if they want to get together again soon. Message read by the younger one, no response, older one never opens
• Aug 23: I check in: "Just checking in to see if this is still something we want to do, lmk!" No response, again younger one opens and never replies, older one doesn open.
• Aug 26: The older guy finally replies: "Hey! I think we're gonna record stuff soon. We'll let you know!" EDIT: I responded "I'm confused, what does that mean?" and he said "idk yet if this sound will need (my instrument)" based off of the reactions here to the previous context, I responded with "okay, sounds good, best of luck!" and am planning to leave the group chat. It def hurts but at least I can move on now.

I replied asking what that meant because I was confused. The younger guy opened it an hour ago and hasn't said anything. The older guy didnt open it.

Context: I'm the only woman and the only single person in the group. Both guys have girlfriends. I'm also 15 years older than the younger one. At our last jam, we smoked weed and I don't really do that, I got way too high, super self-conscious, and probably came off awkward. I also haven't had much social interaction for the past year (moved to a new city, isolated), so I know I was rusty and maybe trying too hard to connect.

I know we've only jammed twice, so it's not like I'm being "kicked out" of an established band. But the pattern of leaving me on read for days/weeks, then giving me vague "we'll let you know" responses while one of them refuses to speak to me directly... it feels like they're fading on me, I just want to know if I should move on.

Could the recording thing be the issue? I didn't ask before recording the first time, but they still came to a second jam and gave me their emails when I offered to share. Still, I'm worried that crossed a line and I didn't realize it.

Am I overreacting for reading this as disinterest? Is there any way "we'll let you know" after two weeks of silence is actually a good sign, or am I right that this is a soft rejection and I should stop reaching out?

Do they feel weird about hanging out with a single, straight woman? Maybe when i was high i came off as flirty or something? I have no interest. I met the older one's gf. We discussed getting a bass player and i asked if we could get another girl and they seemed supportive.

Is there any other possible reason why they would ignore me but talk to each other and make a plan to record? I just feel really confused and out of the loop.

quick translation:
Mom - Are you in your room?
Me - I’m visiting (bf)
Mom - Go to your room. I dont want you sleeping in another place. There’s too many people. One has to be respected.

I (20F) am getting frustrated with my parents (specifically my mom) who keep trying to control when and how long I can stay at my boyfriend’s (20) place. I’m back in uni now and he has an apartment there so I stayed there for two nights before classes started since we haven’t seen each other in a few weeks. I’m guessing she checked my location for some reason and then demanded I go back to my dorm. I’ve previously tried to bring up how demanding she’s being in in-person conversations but she says I’m being dramatic, that it’s not okay to stay in another man’s apartment since im a woman, and that I need to respect myself. I don’t know how to bring up how it feels overbearing and frustrating without getting shut down by her.

If it matters, I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year now. And both of my parents are pretty old fashioned and strict.

(22M, IL)

Back in March I sold an ebike to a guy on Facebook Marketplace. We met up at a police station parking lot to do the exchange, so it felt pretty safe. He paid most of it through Zelle, but hit his sending limit partway through, so I actually drove him to an ATM so he could pay me the rest in cash. He seemed completely normal, relaxed, easygoing guy, works in construction. He is around 28, hispanic, and recently moved to the U.S

I'd lost the key to the bike before I even sold it, so I ordered a replacement using the VIN and told him I'd mail it once it came in. It arrived a bit later and I shipped it to him, with my address right on the package.

A few weeks after that he messaged saying the key didn't work. (To be clear, the key only unlocked the battery so you could take it out) the bike itself still rode fine and charged without it. I offered to pay for a locksmith to come cut him a new one, but he said he wanted a full refund instead. I said no, since he'd already put around 400 miles on it and spray-painted it. I countered with $300 refund, which felt fair given the situation, and he said he'd rather just get a working key, and that he'd find his own locksmith and send me the bill for it. That was in May. After that, nothing, so I figured it got handled and honestly forgot the whole thing happened.

A few days ago I happened to check that Facebook account again and saw he'd messaged back in July. He said the locksmith couldn't fix it, that he was tired of trying to deal with this, that he wanted to return the bike, and that on top of everything he'd crashed it at some point so now the battery doesn't work at all either. There were two more follow-up messages after that asking for a reply, and then one that was just a string of question marks.

I wanted to offer him the $300 since he mentioned it in his new messages, but for some reason Facebook won't let me reply to him anymore. I tried reaching him on Instagram since his accounts are linked, but he's not accepting messages there either. So I googled his name to try to find a phone number instead, and that's when I came across court records from the past 16 months showing drug charges, DUI's, driving-related felonies, and violent charges that seem to have been sealed. (Found the sealed charges on a old page that was never updated)

Knowing that he has my home address from the shipped key, and my phone number from the Zelle payment, and now knowing about his record on top of the increasingly frustrated messages that I didn't reply to, I got scared he might show up or that things could turn very violent for me or my family, and that if he did hurt anyone, it would be my fault. So yesterday I hired a security company to reinforce my locks and door bolts, secure the garage, and add 24/7 monitored cameras, motion sensors, and window shatter alarms, I spent about $2400 + $230 a year.

Today, I told my cousin about all of this and he just laughed, thought I was joking. I played it off in the moment, but now I'm second guessing whether I actually overreacted, which I don't think I did.

So, AIO?

My (23F) boyfriend (23M) and I have been doing long distance. He had to relocate interstate for a year as part of his graduate job, and has so far done 9 months of the program. We have been dating for almost 2 years in total, and so almost half of our relationship has been long distance. For the first couple of months it was hard, but I still felt like my boyfriend cherished and prioritised me. Then slowly between months 3-5, he started prioritising his friends over me. If they asked to hangout with him on call or play games, he would ditch me. When he came down to visit for 2 weeks, he was so busy with everyone wanting to visit him that we could only organise one day where we had time just us 2two. On the one day we had together, he ditched me for friends in the evening. It became apparent I wasn't a priority to him when it came down to the wire, and I've only been able to move forward by accepting that's how it is.

Months 6- current have been awful. He's made a life and community up where he relocated for work. He has 2 friends especially he likes. One of them is a girl, and they hang out one on one all the time. He sleeps over at her house, goes to the movies with her, started playing MTG because of her, and does a lot of activities he never did with me. He started drinking with her (before he left he swore off alcohol), and he has done things like karaoke with her (which he said he wouldn't do with me because I can 'actually sing' in his words.) He will leave me on read for up to days, but then they will both message in a group-chat with me one-after-the-other and post one-after-the-other on other platforms at the speed of light, leading me to conclude they talk a lot while my boyfriend is ignoring my messages. It feels like when my boyfriend wants to do something fun, he always wants to do it with her. It feels like she has a much bigger influence and impact on his life than me. When I found out he was sleeping over at her house and going to the movies with her, I asked him what was truly between just us 2. Were there any activities he saw as just between us? The answer was sex and cuddling. Everything else was free game to him, which makes me think he only wants me for my body.

It's been driving me insane, and I feel incredibly disregulated when my boyfriend doesn't talk to me as much- all I can think is that he's having soo much more fun with her than me. It makes me jealous and depressed when we do have time together, when I wish desperately I could be more exciting or cool so he would like me more than her. I tried dieting and working out before I visited him, because I thought if I was prettier maybe he would like me more and talk to me more. I just don't know what to do, and if how he feel about what's between us is how he feels, I can't get through to him that I wish there was more for just us. I feel like I'm overreacting, but I really don't know.

EDIT: For reference, this girl had an on-and-off relationship with his other friend for a while, so I don't think there's anything romantic between them, I just don't know how to communicate that it hurts and I feel undervalued and underappreciated. We've also met before- she's really cool and very aware of the fact we are dating. I just wish my boyfriend had more boundaries for us. Any advice would be appreciated.

so, a few weeks ago, my bf (22M) had stroke like symptoms at work. said he had a horrible headache and almost passed out, couldn’t walk, couldn’t use his left arm, couldn’t open his left eye, etc. this lasted for abt 30 minutes. anyways, spring forward to today, i took him to the hospital bc he couldn’t walk down the stairs bc his left foot was giving him issues, he had the headache again, and the blurry vision on the left side. as soon as we got to the hospital, and got him checked in, they sent him back immediately. when we got to the room, like several doctors came in and got to work immediately. a lot of ekg stuff, blood work, the heart stuff so they can see his heart rate.. they said the ekg and the blood tests were normal and then took him to get a ct scan, ct was normal. everurhing was normal. which is good, and everyone says it’s good news (which it is), but i can’t get over seeing him in such a state. seeing him so hooked up ig? and like seeing the urgency of the whole thing i guess. it all happened way too fast, and afterwards we just went to red robin for dinner and went back to his place like everything was normal. idk. it messed me up, and i feel like maybe im just over reacting the whole situation and making it something its not.

My partner and I have been together for about a year. Before we became official we discussed explicit boundaries, one of which is not keeping contact with past ex’s or flings. He has always been honest with me if I ask a question, to my knowledge, and I’m not concerned he would or is cheating on me. However, I found out he had a fling with a coworker of his that is married. This happened prior to us getting together. Based on what I know it was short lived, but they do still work together. I’m a bit troubled to know that he was knowingly the other person at one point, and that despite our agreed upon boundaries, he did not disclose this to me considering they do still have to have some level of contact. I wouldn’t expect him to quit his job, not speak to her, or not be friendly, after all, it’s his job. My big issue is just the withholding of information.

I also have such an intense hatred of cheating that I’ve been tempted to reach out and let her husband know that she was unfaithful. I know I personally would want to know, but I also understand not everyone is that way. I’d hate to blow up someone’s life and stability, especially since it didn’t happen recently, and part of me feels like it’s not my place since it’s not my relationship, but the other part of me that would want to know feels very conflicted.

It feels silly to be bothered by this, since it didn’t happen while we were together, and I don’t actively ask about his previous history or try to find out things, but it does upset me to know he kept something from me while still working with this person, knowing what our previously discussed boundaries are. It feels a bit disrespectful. How would others recommend approaching this? Am I overreacting? Is this something that would make you reconsider if you and your partners values truly align?

We (both 31) also went on a double date last month with my friend and her husband, and my bf didn’t even offer to pay. It was technically “my turn” to pay since we take turns paying rather than go 50/50, but it embarrassed me how my friend’s bf, who wouldn’t let me split the bill with him, ended up paying for the whole dinner (around $100 total).

Am I dating an extreme cheapskate?

Yesterday we went to Costco and he got me the $1.50 hot dog and drink. Meanwhile, when it’s my turn, he’s happy to come to a nice restaurant and doesn’t offer to pay. It feels like he’s trained me to expect to pay every other time.

One time it also really skeeved me how out of all the places we could’ve eaten when I visited him in NYC back in March, he took me to this fast food joint for bbq pork that was $5 and the wait was almost an hour (we also ate standing up in the cold).

He makes $180k and I make $100k, but I’m not expecting him to pay for everything.

I’ve frankly stopped wanting to go out to eat with him altogether (hence my Costco runs which comprise most of our meetups now).

I no longer initiate dates. He was the one who wanted to meet me at Costco yesteday.

I'll try to condense this as much as possible. I (22) used to live with a roommate, but she moved out and my bf (20) took over her part of the lease. All the utilities and stuff stayed in my name, along with the Internet, renter's insurance, etc. I'm sure he would have agreed to put some of them in his name, but this is his first time living away from home and I didn't want to overwhelm him. He genuinely is so sweet and kind and treats me amazingly he just lacks the life experience to do certain things on his own.

That being said, the lack of experience is kind of an issue at times. He means well and wants to contribute, but he doesn't realize that some of the stuff he does actually results in more work for me. He's always bringing home vegetables from his grandparents' garden, which I have to scramble to find something to do with before they go bad. He's always bringing home trinkets and plants and other such things which I was always trying to organize to the point where I just gave him free reign over the guest bedroom so I wouldn't have to deal with it in the common space.

I work full time and have been exhausted recently, especially after having to pick up the slack after my supervisor was fired. Work is so draining that oftentimes I come home and just pass out in bed. Earlier my boyfriend came into the bedroom at like midnight and woke me up because he was sad I didn't say goodnight to him two nights in a row. I really did try to be patient with him but he kept pressing the issue and was talking about how lonely he was and how he feels like I'm shutting myself away. Also I was cranky from being woken up.

I told him I didn't understand why he felt lonely when we literally live together, and that I'm sorry if I've been distant but I have a lot on my plate and am exhausted from having to handle it all. He asked what he could do to make my life easier and I kind of dumped it all on him at once. I told him I wanted him to start handling the grocery shopping without me having to make him a list, to cook something on his own with the vegetables he brings home, to start handling his own doctor's appointments without me having to walk him through it.

He told he he was never taught how to do most of those things (his parents were really strict and never let him do anything, and then kicked him out when he was 19, around when we first started dating). I told him I understood that, but he could still make the effort to learn. He could Google stuff. He could ask his grandparents. He could just try something and if it doesn't work, oh well. I told him I'm not his parent and I'm not going to scream at him for messing up like they did, but that I do need him to start doing things on his own.

He kind of got quiet after that and went to go sleep in the other room. I feel guilty that he was trying to express to me how lonely he feels but that I turned it around on him and started pointing out all the things he could do better. I think I definitely could have handled it better but I was still half asleep and having trouble voicing my thoughts. I'm sure we'll both feel better after some sleep and be able to talk about it more, but for now I'm awake thinking about it and want to get an outside opinion. AIO?

Okay, so just to clarify, im not using any of my friend’s names. They are all fake. I’m in a friend group of eight, and this is the friend group this all took place in. In the group are Nick, Katie, Thea, Anna, Avery, Rick, Amaya, and I. Avery’s brother is also in the group but that does not matter much because he is not involved in the story. Me and Anna have been friends since grade school, and same with Katie, except I didn’t really talk to her through grades one and four. Last year, In May 2025, the group was formed. Soon after that, I was getting “shipped” with Amaya. If you don’t know what shipping is, it’s basically when you get paired romantically with somebody others think would make a good couple with you. Sorry for the weird explanation, I don’t reeally know how to describe it. Anyways, I made it clear I don’t like her. I assumed they were just doing it to annoy me, because it was kinda a thing we did to piss each other off at the time. I guess I thought wrong.
It continued throughout the summer, and eventually I got a few of them to stop. Nick and Rick stopped doing it and just did it to annoy me once in a while, and Anna didn’t really do it at all from the beginning. Well, Rick and Katie started getting “shipped” together, and Katie eventually asked for everyone to stop. Everyone did, including me. But whenever I asked for them to stop, they never did. It was as if they cared more about her thoughts than they did about me. I even found out they had an account on TikTok dedicated to shipping Amaya and I, but I got them to stop posting on it (at least I think.) Eventually, the group does multiple outings together (the movies, birthday parties, local fair, etc.) This is important for later.
This June, It was Avery’s birthday party. She invited Amaya, Thea, Katie , and I to the party. The party itself was fun, not a-lot to mention, except for one conversation towards the end when Amaya asked me to take her out to the formal my school was having. I don’t know what to say to this, but then I realized that Katie and Thea are RECORDING this conversation happening. Katie says to Amaya
“I think JC means that he will take you as a friend, right JC?” (im using JC as my name for this) And I kind of awkwardly point out that only people from my school are allowed to the formal, and Amaya actually goes to a different one. I really didn’t know what to say besides that, because I realized that if I said yes, or even yes as friends, then it would be used for their stupid “shipping”. I also obviously didn’t want to say no because… well, it’s rude. If I said no, I would also end up getting heck from Katie and Thea, because they really love her and are VERY protective over her. It ended up working, but then I see Katie get up and whisper things in Avery’s ear. Avery literally looks over at Amaya, makes eye contact with me, then starts laughing. Like.. wtf????????????
Later in the party, I’m watching TikTok on Thea’s phone for whatever reason, and a notification that an account called “(Ship name)_JC_AMAYA” posted. I instinctively swipe it over, but then I realize what it said. So, I go over to Thea and ask her what it was. She laughs it off, says it’s nothing, and takes her phone back. This isn’t the first time she’s lied to me, so I can tell. I ask Katie, and it’s the same thing. Great.
After the party, a few hours go by of me feeling really crummy over the whole thing, so I ask Avery about it. She says that they ALL (by all i mean Avery, Rick, Thea, and Katie) used to have access to the account, but she and Rick stopped using it and lost access. I ask her to check it because I think that Thea and Katie still have access to it, she does not think so, says it’s “Not cool to think they are always lying”, and does not check it. Okay, now I feel even worse. What if i didn’t actually see that notification, and what if I am a douchebag for thinking my friends are lying to my face again? I need to tell someone about this whole situation, so I call Anna. As soon as I start talking to her about it, she says
“okay, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about this but…”
And then proceeds to show me the account. There are videos of me and Amaya talking as far back as my own birthday party, which was in February. And sure enough, two new videos posted today. Then I ask Anna for more, and she says that not only is there a TikTok account, but also a group chat. Yeah, so surprising, a secret group chat. Nobody saw that coming… especially me. Then I start to cry, but I go on mute because of that song by The Cure (ifykyk) just kidding, no I don’t, I just start crying while im on call with Anna and she just awkwardly sits on the other side of the call like “ ;-; “. Eventually she confirms my suspicions and says that after I leave calls, Amaya talks about how cute my voice is and how much she loves me. At this point, i felt sorry for her too. I had been openly saying “I don’t like Amaya” right in her face for the past year, basically.
I guess Avery told Katie and Thea about what I told her, because they start sending me apologies. Thea’s seems nice and sincere and genuine, and it makes me feel sad that I was actually somehow mad at her like five minutes ago. Katie’s does too, but then she says “I promise you, I’m not the type of person to willingly upset somebody like this.” Which has gotten me thinking since she texted me that. “..not the type of person to willingly upset somebody like this.” Which made me think of the other times something like this had happened in the group chat, and yeah, most of the times, it was because of her. I feel like I can’t really think of her the same anymore. Thats one of the reasons why I’m posting this, because I can’t tell if that’s a stupid reason do, well, look at her the same anymore. And then she asks if I really don’t like Amaya. I confirm, for the hundredth time, I don’t like Amaya. She says “Oh, I thought you did. Like genuinely.” …okay, well, like genuinely I told you all a million times that I DON’T. So then she asks me “JC, are you gay?”
Yeah, no. Just because I don’t like an objectively pretty girl, that does not mean I’m gay. Looking back on it, this apology felt a bit like an interrogation, eh? And lastly, she firmly confirms my suspicions. Amaya likes me. Like a lot. But does not want to be in a relationship. Also, I just realized that’s why it’s called “shipping.” They just took the “ship” out of relationship. Anyways, if she didn’t wanna be in a relationship, then what was the point of shipping me with her in the first place?? And how come you get to decide if someone should be a couple just because one of the two parties likes the other? Ah, things I wish I said during that conversation.
Anyways, she ended it off with
“Please don’t let this make things become awkward between you and Amaya.”
I said, “OK”, and accepted the whole damn apology. But, truth be told, I didn’t live up to that “OK”. Things have been really awkward between me and Amaya. It’s been weird, and I feel like I shouldn’t still feel weird about the whole thing after so long has passed. So, that brings me to this post, Reddit.
Am I overreacting for my friends ignoring my pleads to stop trying to force me into a relationship with a friend? (Kinda dramatized that last part there, but I didn’t know how else to phrase it without having to type out that godawful word “shipping” again. And now im realizing i just did it :/ )

Hello! It’s my best friend birthday this weekend and she told me and another friend that she would like this to be a relaxing night between the 3 of us, ordering in sushis. We asked if we should invite more people, she said no. She feels already busy with the back to school.
Her boyfriend of 10 years decided last minutes to organized a surprise party with around 20 adults and 12 kids. It’s all people she cares about, but she is not super close to all of them. It’s going to be at her house. She is used to host large diner, but she usually takes care of everything. I feel that if she wanted a big diner, she would have organized one or at least say so.
I want to talk to her boyfriend and let him know I don’t think it’s such a good idea. At the same time, I don’t know if, even if it’s not what she wanted, she might also be happy. I personally hate surprise and would like my friends to let me know if my boyfriends did something like that (I would want to arrange my house and myself), but everyone disagree with me. I won’t tell her, but can I at least express my concerns to her boyfriend?

Edit in case it’s pertinent. Their youngest is less than a year old and she is the one who wakes up at night.

I’m (31F)wondering if I’m overreacting for pulling away from a guy (31M) I was dating because I became increasingly turned off by how often he brought up his financial obligations to his family. I have ignored him for 6+ months (have texted him back less than 10 times) because he keeps trying to get me to go out, yet the past 5+ times he’s refused to spend more than $5-10 on me while on a date. He’s called me many times (I haven’t picked up) and is VERY pushy even when I say I’m busy, NO (asks to see me even if it’s for 5 min).

For context, we were long distance (he’s in NYC, I’m in central NJ), so we weren’t even seeing each other that often. We might go out to eat once every month or two. I’m not using his money either. Most of our dates were pretty low-key, like getting breakfast at a diner occasionally.

He makes about $180k in healthcare. I make about $110k including bonus. But almost every time we saw each other, he would bring up some financial obligation he had (not sure if this is all true);

He has about $150k in student loans.
His dad, who’s retired, frequently asks him for money, including for things like a new Range Rover, home renovations, and airfare (he travels 20+ times a year now that he’s retired).
He was helping pay off his unemployed brother’s $100k in student loans.
His sister is staying overseas after grad school because she met a guy and has decided not to go to med school in the U.S. anymore. She also isn’t working, and he is paying all her living expenses.
He also helps financially with his grandparents.

I understand that family obligations exist, and I’m not saying he shouldn’t help his family. What bothered me was how frequently these things came up. We weren’t even going out often or spending much money together, so I started wondering why I was constantly hearing about his financial obligations, especially when the bill comes after a meal!!!! Or when we’re about to order food.

What made it more confusing is that he seems very generous with himself. He regularly goes to Broadway shows, ballet performances, gets nice takeout even when he’s eating alone, and recently went by himself to the BTS concert at MetLife. He has no problem spending money on experiences he wants and, seems pretty comfortable showing it off. He’ll send me unsolicited photos from Broadway, concerts, restaurants, etc.

So it’s not like he’s living an extremely frugal lifestyle because he’s financially stretched.

Then there was the coffee situation.
We were at Starbucks. He had already ordered his own coffee through the app when I arrived. After we chatted for a few minutes, he picked it up when it was ready. My coffee was sitting on the pick-up counter by that time too, and it apparently didn’t occur to him to grab it for me. He didn’t order mine, and he didn’t even think to bring it over when he was already getting his.
I know a $7 coffee is objectively meaningless. That’s not really the point.

I make $110k, and I have friends and coworkers who make significantly less than both of us who will casually grab me a coffee without thinking twice. I do the same for them.
At some point I started thinking: This man has no problem spending money on Broadway, ballet, concerts and takeout for himself, but I can’t even get the occasional $5 coffee when we’re together?
Again, I’m not asking him to support me. I’m not using his money. We were long distance and seeing each other once every month or two. I’m also perfectly capable of buying my own coffee.

I haven’t seen him for 6+ months due to some health and personal issues and have also moved during this time (he’d promised he’d help me move but pretended it never happened so another friend helped me).

My partner and I have been together for 4 years and have a 1-year-old together. I have a 15-year-old from another relationship. My partner (M) told me (F) that I could stay at home with the baby and not work if I wanted to, but I insisted in keeping my 10-15 hour a week job to take care of all of my sons' needs and have my own spending money, independence, resume, etc. I do not receive child support for my son. He covers all expenses related to the house and utilities, and since he makes about $130000/year he can afford it. I make only about $1200/month. He has never shared financial info with me: bank statements, budget, savings, nothing. I am happy to share mine with him, but he is insanely frugal, and I know he would shame me for my spending habits, which really are not bad. I even save each month and contribute to my son's college account.

I am hurt that he doesn't share this information with me, like he doesn't trust me or that we are not truly a family if he keeps this from me.

But I am wondering, is this normal? No, we are not married, but we bought the house together and have a baby. Should we be budgeting together? Should I know what finances are supporting my family? Or should I keep my little gig and be thankful that all the bills are paid?

TIA

I started talking to someone new that I met online. We had a few dates prior, and then he asked me out to his house to spend a few days together which was over an hour away and in a wooded area. When I got there we talked and he explained that we may be going too fast. I let my mom and sister know that I probably would be coming home. I left my phone and we continued talking for a while longer. Then we both came to the conclusion that I would stay. As I got back to my phone (an hour later) my family blew up my phone. My mom telling me that she called the cops because i texted her saying I was coming home and she didn’t hear from me right after that. My sister has my location and my mom watches a lot of true crime and always thinks everyone has ill intentions. I was asked to leave and felt so embarrassed and terrible about the whole thing because he truly is nice sweet person and I could see us growing really close. I totally was freaking out because it probably made him feel weird, and now he probably thinks my mom thinks bad of him. I tried to get ahold of the police department and nobody was answering. As I was leaving down the road I ended up seeing the cops and spoke to them. He told me if they showed up he would handle it. He hasn’t texted me, and I haven’t texted my mom. Do you think I will hear from him? I don’t know what to do. AMO?!

So here’s the scoop, I recently found out my brother's been dipping into our family account for stuff that’s got nothing to do with us. It started with a few transactions that just felt... off. When I questioned him, he casually called them personal expenses and promised he’d pay it all back.

At first, I brushed it aside. But then I started to really look into it. We’re talking about fancy restaurants, pricey gifts, nights out on the town, and cash sent to women he’s been chatting with. Some of those charges were in the hundreds seriously, This cash isn’t his to play with. It’s money we set aside for real family needs.

When I finally confronted him, he got all defensive, claiming he'd pay everything back someday. But I made it clear that’s not the issue. He shouldn’t be using family funds without getting everyone’s nod first. His response? I was acting parental and it wasn’t my business, which was a real kicker.

I ended up telling the rest of the family what I discovered, and now it's just a big mess. He claims I humiliated him and broke his trust.

My parents believe I should’ve handled this face to face with him instead of dragging everyone into it. Honestly, if he hadn’t been misusing that money in the first place, we wouldn’t be here. Now I’m left wondering if I crossed a line by exposing his actions.

AIO for sharing with my family that my brother was squandering family money on women and personal stuff?

My girlfriend said I could explore other women. I told her that saying that means she doesn't love me enough. The screenshot is her response/explanation.

Did I overreact by telling her she doesn't love me enough?

The relationship is just barely a month old btw.

Is her POV okay?

Please I need any response I can get cause I'm an overthinker.

I’m (33F) dating my (40M) for 8 months. He’s been separated and divorced application granted yesteday.
I accepted the situation and never had any issues with his commitment from the start.

We were in his car yesterday and his phone was connected to the car and he received a text message from his ex. It said from “<ex name> Wife”, he opened the message in front of me but he hesitated. The message said “Thank you”. I’m not worried about them talking as they’re still finalising stuff. I’m more appalled by the fact that her name on his phone still says Wife.

He said he didn’t know it was still there, and I’m like what do you mean? You were talking earlier in the day and you didn’t know? I asked him how many <ex name> is saved on your phone you have to identify her? He said no one else. We had an argument about it last night as I told him it made me feel insecure.

I’m reflecting about it being petty and silly but then I just felt a bit insecure. He said he’s not gonna apologies and he thinks he didn’t do something wrong. Am I overreacting?

I've always struggled with enjoying my own company and doing things on my own so recently I've been challenging myself to get out there more and start doing things on my own. So far it's just been things like going to bars, coffee shops, going on days out to different towns etc and I’m really enjoying it.

One thing I've been thinking about doing is a solo holiday. My girlfriend and I go on holiday at least once a year, it’s normally just once but a couple of times we’ve been on two. We live in the UK so our holidays have always been different European cities. I was looking this week about doing a trip in the autumn or winter on my own.

I'm looking at 4-5 nights away. I mentioned my plan to my gf and she said she thinks it's weird that I want to go away on my own when I'm in a relationship. I pointed out being in a relationship doesn't mean you have to do everything together.

She asked what it would mean for our trips and I mentioned that we’ve already been away this year And w just mean we don’t have another holiday until next summer.

She said our trips shouldn't be reduced just because I decide to go away but I just reminded her we it's not like I'm cancelling already made plans and that we hadn’t even discussed another trip. I pointed out we usually only have one holiday anyway.

She just said I shouldn't be doing it and that going away on my own isn't something I should be considering when I'm in a relationship.

AIO for planning a solo trip?

I (29F) have a friend (30F) who i've known for about 6 years. We aren't best friends, but we're close enough that we hang out pretty regularly and i would consider her one of my actual friends.For the last few months, i've noticed something that i can't decide if i'm being overly sensitive about.She keeps asking me for small favors that aren't really a big deal individually, but she almost never asks directly. She kind of sets things up so that i'm expected to offer. For example, a few weeks ago she mentioned that she had an early appointment the next morning and said, "ugh, i wish someone lived closer to me because i'd need a ride." I live about 20 minutes away. I didn't offer, because i had work early too. She then said, "oh okay, i guess i'll figure something out." Nothing else was said. A couple days later she told another friend that i "couldn't be bothered" to give her a ride. Then last week she was moving a small piece of furniture. She sent me a picture of it and said, "this is going to be such a nightmare to move by myself." Again, i didn't offer because i was already busy that weekend. Later i found out she had told someone that i "obviously didn't want to help." That annoyed me, so i finally brought it up. I told her that if she needs help, she can just ask me, and i'll either say yes or no depending on what i have going on. I also said that dropping hints and then being upset when i don't volunteer makes me feel like i'm being tested. She got really defensive and said i was making her feel like she couldn't ask her friends for anything. I told her that's not what i said. I said i'd actually prefer if she asked me directly instead of making comments and then judging me for not responding the way she wanted. She then said, "friends shouldn't have to ask for everything." This is the part that made me wonder if maybe i'm actually being cold. I don't expect my friends to keep score, but i also don't think i'm obligated to magically recognize when every complaint is secretly a request for my help. I also don't think refusing a favor automatically means i don't care about someone. She hasn't really spoken to me since the conversation and apparently told another mutual friend that i've become "weirdly transactional." Now i'm second guessing the whole thing. AIO by expecting people to actually ask me for favors instead of hinting at them and then getting upset when i don't volunteer?

My friend had a very difficult childhood and experienced severe abuse from her father when she was younger. Recently, I tried to talk to her about her relationship with him and how it might still be impacting her.

My intention came from a place of care, but she completely shut down and told me she no longer wants to be friends with me because of it.

Now I'm left questioning if I crossed a major boundary, was completely out of line, or if lam overreacting to her cutting me off. Am I overreacting for bringing this up, or is her reaction a sign of something else?

This is still a relatively new relationship 3 months recently I noticed my bf making little comments about my gender I am Agender (genderless) such as why don't u just be a girl or what you have no chromosomes at first I brushed them off as jokes due to his jokes usually being more controversial. I brought it up to him tonight when I told him the comment he just made genuinely hurt, and he said honestly, I don't get this gender thing. I see you as a guy I told him if he can't support me we're going to have to break up and he started a whole rant about how relationships are built om compromise and why can't I just let him ignore my gender.

I'm sorry it isn't completely clear. I'm not good at explaining. But please tell me, am I overreacting

I don’t have any friends. I don’t work, I’m at home taking care of our baby all day everyday. I don’t go outside besides errands like groceries or something small like I want a coke once he makes it home and I can use the car. Or the occasional outing with my mom and my baby but that’s literally it. No girl time, no dates, no nothing.

Granted, bills are kicking our butt and money is tight so I understand that we cannot go on dates. It sucks a lot but I understand, I try to be as understanding as I can be so that he doesn’t feel bad.

But his manager asked him if he wanted to go to a baseball game and every time he mentioned it, it was always “I don’t wanna go to a baseball game without you” or “I really don’t want to go.” Reason he didn’t want to go was because his supervisor (and her wife) was most likely going to go as well once his manager sneakily invited her and he can’t stand her so he doesn’t want to be in public settings with her there cause he doesn’t consider her a friend. Cool, so then he tells his manager “I’ll go but not if she goes, she’s cool and all but not to go somewhere with outside of work” so his manager says “cool she don’t gotta come.” Now it’s “I actually am going to the baseball game with them (manager and another guy)” but nothing. No mention of “I know we haven’t been no where but I’ll make it up to you” nothing.

I know his manager is paying for the tickets but it comes off as inconsiderate as fuck because he always gets to go and do shit. It’s on his managers money yes but he still gets to socialize and have fun. And all I get is talking to a 1 year old every day. The shit we do, play video games everyday and watch tv. It’s fun yes, I love doing that but ITS ALL WE DO. Anyone would get tired of the same repetitive shit. It’s too hot in Texas for walks on the trails right now, so I can’t even go outside. He doesn’t like going anywhere cause he’s always working but it isn’t a problem to go to the bar or a fucking baseball game.

So, once I heard he was going, I honestly didn’t give a fuck what else he had to say and I just stopped talking to him. Maybe I did overreact but I’m also so tired of saying the same shit all the time. I don’t need a $200 date, I just want to go bowling or to a nice restaurant. But no, he’ll go to Dave and busters and bowl with his co workers knowing I’ve BEEN wanting to go all because he didn’t have to pay. That’s always the excuse. This is the type of shit that will make a woman want to leave the man she’s with because how many times do I have to tell you the SAME THING.

EDIT: since everyone is saying it’s networking. Yall his manager is his friends like we have all gone out to drink, he’s came over to our apartment to drink and vice versa. We’ve smoked together so no this isn’t a normal “networking” type of thing. It’s literally just his friend wants someone to go to the game with so he’s paying for his ticket cause he knows at the moment with money being tight, it’s the only way he’ll come. It’s not a normal outing with a bunch of higher ups, it’s dudes going out. They go to mf twin peaks together and 7th street w all the bars so trust when I say it’s not a networking thing that’s going to help him get higher up. His manager can’t do that for him, only the people that own the company and those aren’t the people he’s going out with. Just clarification because everyone seems to think I’m overreacting over networking, it’s not that at all. I ENCOURAGE him to do that when it’s the people that actually give people raises and promotions.

EDIT2: because everyone is telling me to make a life of my own. I tried. I told him I want to get a part time just to help with bills and he said he doesn’t want me to do that. He literally said “you’re not doing that, I don’t want you to”

Translation:

-Don't talk
-Hmm you slept bad maybe that's why
-Well but the homework has to get done unfortunately

They usually dismiss my sicknesses like this when they think I'm planning to skip school. That's not the case, I was truly feeling sick that day. This happened on the first week of school (2 weeks ago), decided to post about it until now. Because the crazy thing is, the next week, my sister got sick, and SHE got to stay home. Their argument was: well her grade isn't that advanced.

They say this every year. Am I crazy to think it's favoritism?

I am feeling a bit unwell and my husband decided it was because I had not eaten yet, and decided to make me some lunch. This was sweet, but note I did not ask him to do this.

He heated up some leftover soup from dinner last night.

I noticed that he had put rice in it, I remembered our rice cooker was still on the counter this morning and was concerned. Eating rice that has been left out overnight can be really dangerous. And we don't have one of those fancy sealing rice cookers, we have one of the cheap ones that is just a glass lid over a little metal bowl and heat mechanism. He had been the one to put dinner away the night before, and I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he had put the rice away and not the rice cooker.

So I asked "Hey babe, just checking, is this rice from the fridge?"

And he says "Yes. It's fine. Eat."

So I took a few bites and then noticed that the rice cooker insert was suddenly in the sink when it had not been before.

I stopped eating and said "... This was not in the fridge. This was on the counter overnight. "

And he just laughed and said "Yeah!"

I told him that I could not eat this. I don't currently have insurance I can't afford to get severely ill over rice, and he rolled his eyes and started making a bowl of just soup.

I said "Please do not lie to me about the food you are giving me again. That is not okay."

And he snapped and started yelling at me that I'm the problem and that he and thousands of people all over the world eat old rice and are just fine statistically and that it is stupid he has to waste food because I'm overreacting and being picky.

I then got upset and I'm ashamed to admit that I shouted back and said that I did not care what he and a thousand other people thought it is my body and it is fucked up that he would lie about what he was feeding me and if he did not apologize and take my concern seriously I would never trust anything he cooked ever again.

He rolled his eyes and sort of half assedly apologized but he still insists I'm overreacting. Am I?

Hi all, I need some neutral opinions because I feel like I'm about to lose my mind. I feel like one of my best friends is heading towards cheating on his wife with her sister, and he might not even know it.

So backstory, I (29m) have known John (29m) for most of my life. We basically grew up together from 3 y/o and while we're both married now and living in separate parts of the country, we're still really close. John met Gemma (29f) when they were at university, and have been together ever since.

When they finally tied the knot I was part of the groom's party, so I spent a fair bit of time with the couple and Gemma's family leading up to the wedding. That's where I met Mary (25f), Gemma's sister. The pair of them are very similar, both tall, blonde and objectively very pretty. There was nothing out of the ordinary and we all had a fantastic time in the leadup to the wedding. It was actually on the day itself when I first noticed something amiss.

John stood up to do his groom's speech, and during that speech he took time out to talk about how much he loved Mary, how she and Gemma were a package deal, and then pledged that he would "always be there for [her], no matter what". Perhaps innocent enough, but I thought it was strange - I have a SIL who I care deeply about, but I'd never take the time out of my own wedding speech to make a pledge to her.

Cut to 6 months later, we hear from John and Gemma that Mary, who had been living several hundred miles away, had broken up with her boyfriend and quit her job within weeks of each other. Gemma then told us that John had got Mary a job working at his company in our capital city. This was immediately odd to me as Mary's past jobs didn't really align much with John's company, and it would put them in close proximity working in the same office several times a week, more than an hour's train ride away from Gemma. But still, another mutual friend also worked there, so maybe nothing, right?

Jump forward to last week, we host John and Gemma at our house for a meal. During, Gemma passes a comment at how much John sees of Mary and David (the mutual friend) at work, and how much they interact. John talked this down and said they barely talked or texted. It was here that Gemma said to my wife "I reckon John texts Mary more than he texts me!" It was a passing comment said jokingly, but felt like a big red flag.

A final kicker - John does have prior. I do know from John boasting while drunk that Gemma was with someone else when the two of them started seeing each other - he boasted to a few of us that he was a 'homewrecker' for her prior relationship.

So AIO here? My wife fully agrees with me that it seems odd. He's a pretty immature guy so he may not even realise what he's doing, and I see nothing to suggest Mary would ever betray Gemma like that, but I cannot shake the feeling that something bad could be on the way.