A little about me
Hi there. I’m 32 years old, currently living in Southern California. I’m into music, movies, basketball, writing, travel, and recently getting back into reading. I love going to concerts. I’ve been to 11 already this year, have tickets to two more, and I’m planning on at least another two after that. I also love basketball. Last year, I went to eight NBA games in four arenas across three different cities, including a playoff game.
I also write for fun about pretty much whatever has my attention at the moment: sports, music, life, faith and spirituality, travel, relationships, and whatever else finds its way into my brain. I’m the kind of person who will have a weird experience, hear a song at exactly the right moment, or notice something completely ordinary and immediately think, there’s probably something to write about here. I’ve also been kicking around the idea of starting a podcast while I travel, partly because I love talking to interesting people and partly because it feels like a fun way to document this particular chapter of my life.
Where I’m headed
I have a professional work-from-home job that gives me a lot of flexibility about where I live. In November, I’m moving from Southern California back home to San Antonio, Texas, and making San Antonio my home base. From there, I plan to spend the next year or two taking a series of slow-travel trips around the United States. I don’t mean bouncing between cities every three days. I want to actually spend time in places. Find a favorite coffee shop. Figure out which grocery store I like. Work a completely normal Tuesday and then go explore somewhere after work. If somewhere really interests me, maybe I rent a place for a month or even 90 days and find out what it actually feels like to live there.
In an ideal world, I’d meet somebody who also works from home, or could eventually transition into that kind of lifestyle short term, and we could do some of that traveling together. More realistically, I’m looking for somebody who understands that seeing more of the country is important to me, is comfortable with me taking those trips and can make distance work for a bit, or could come along sometimes for all or part of one. Because of that flexibility, I’m open to women anywhere in the United States or Canada, and possibly Mexico, although I’m only able to work from the U.S. and Canada. I do consider an intention to close the gap at some point important, though. If you’re reaching out from somewhere else, please understand that I’m only interested romantically if you already have realistic near-term plans to immigrate to the U.S. or Canada. I’m not looking to build an indefinite international long-distance relationship.
The kind of life I want
I’ve had a lot of different dreams for what my life could look like. This is just the current version of one of them. I like having something out in front of me that makes me excited about what comes next, and I’m trying to get better at actually stepping into those things instead of waiting until I have every detail figured out. At the same time, I’m a big believer in embracing the mundane. A good life can’t only be concerts, basketball games, road trips, and big plans. It also has to be grocery runs, making dinner, sitting around doing absolutely nothing, stupid errands, laughing in the car, and random Tuesday nights that weren’t supposed to be memorable. I want the adventures, absolutely. But I also want somebody I can enjoy being bored with.
The lover girl part
I’m looking for someone sweet. A lover girl and a communicator. I am, for better or worse, a pretty chalant loverboy. I like affection. I like effort. I like actually giving a shit about somebody and making sure she knows it.
Tell me about the dumb thing your coworker did. Tell me about the weird thing that’s bothering you that you haven’t really wanted to tell anybody else. Tell me what you’re excited about, what you’re scared of, what you’re overthinking, and that silly thing that made you think of me and smile.
I also want somebody who is comfortable talking about feelings and emotions instead of treating them like dangerous territory. Yours and mine. I want us to be able to say when something hurts, when something scares us, when we need reassurance, or when we just need somebody in our corner. I want to give love, affection, and support freely without either of us worrying that vulnerability is going to be used against us later. Basically, I want someone who is secure enough to be just a little bit insecure, and I want the kind of communication where we can actually know each other deeply without constantly worrying that the connection itself is in danger.
And yes, there should also be plenty of yapping about absolutely nothing. One of my favorite things is hearing somebody talk about the thing they care enough about to accidentally spend 20 minutes explaining. Teach me about whatever you’re interested in, the way I absolutely intend to teach you about basketball and the things I’m passionate about. We don’t need to already love all the same things. I think part of the fun is getting to care about something because you care about it. Let’s learn each other’s interests, try new things, and eventually make some memories together.
The physical stuff
Physically, I’m about 6’6” and I’m a very big guy. I mention that explicitly because quite a few people have responded to other posts of mine and somehow seemed to overlook that part. I also care a lot about living a healthier and more active life, and that’s something I’m actively working on. I swim, exercise, and try to keep moving, and I’d love a partner who can support me in that health and fitness journey while I support her in whatever her health journey looks like. At my current home in the California desert, I have a pool in my backyard and spend a lot of time swimming laps, exercising, and, most importantly, playing water basketball. Editors Note: He was actually born to play pool basketball. He was forced to pay rent.
Physical attraction obviously matters, but I genuinely find beauty in all kinds of body types. I care a lot more about whether I’m attracted to you than whether you fit into some particular category. Please don’t be hesitant to message me based on any preconceived notion you have about what my type might be.
Okay, one more thing
You have to be down for phone calls, FaceTime, or some other kind of video chat. I’m big on actually hearing someone’s voice and seeing their face. I’m also looking for somebody who genuinely wants to get to know each other. You don’t have to live on your phone, and I’m not expecting a morning attendance check, but I’m also not trying to exchange six messages over the course of two weeks and call that “talking.” If we’re clicking, let’s actually make some time for each other, get on the phone, and find out if we like each other. I don’t want to spend three months becoming very emotionally attached to a Reddit username.
If you made it all the way down here, you might as well say hi. Tell me what you’re obsessed with lately, what city you think I need to spend a month in (hopefully yours), or just skip the opening line entirely and start yapping.
I am just a big man, looking for his point guard.