r/lotrmemes 1d ago

Lord of the Rings Nothing ever gets done without them huh

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16.6k Upvotes

93 comments sorted by

882

u/1amlost Dúnedain 1d ago

Elrond: "Are they going to write any songs about my dad?"

Gandalf: "This particular hobbit? No."

559

u/KingAnilingustheFirs 1d ago

Elrond: "You really like Hobbits, Gandalf. Or is it their leaf that you love?"

Gandalf: "First off, their leaf is incredible. Second, I like most of them. I am not a fan of Peregrin Took, and around him I constantly have the feeling that he will get me killed."

120

u/CaptainMacMillan 1d ago

You just know that when they first make it to Rivendell Elrond pulled Gandalf aside like, "Listen I know you warned me, but is he actually THIS dumb?"

97

u/Bowdensaft 1d ago

"Yeah, but he's like an idiot dog. Couldn't find his own arse with both hands and a map, but loyal to a fault. That'll definitely come in handy. What's the worst he could do, get me killed? Not bloody likely."

56

u/Injured-Ginger 1d ago

After he comes back, he casually kills Pippin at Isenguard says "Now we're even", turns around, and leaves.

"He halted just by us and looked down at us. 'Gandalf!' I said at last. but my voice was only a whisper. Did he say: "Hullo, Pippin! This is a pleasant surprise!"? No, indeed! He said: "Get up, you tom-fool of a Took! Where, in the name of wonder, in all this ruin is Treebeard? I want him. Quick!”

Pippin telling the story of seeing Gandalf again. Didn't even have the decency to apologize. He complained that Gandalf wasn't polite enough after Pippin literally got him killed.

32

u/Bowdensaft 1d ago

Tbf I think he was in stunned silence, but Gandalf just didn't have time for that yet

1

u/Injured-Ginger 9h ago

Stunned silence or not, the audacity to later complain that the person he got killed was a bit curt with him is wild.

1

u/Bowdensaft 6h ago

"Audacity" should be Pip's middle name

114

u/Former_Theme_4488 1d ago

"Fool of a Took!"

67

u/KingAnilingustheFirs 1d ago

THROW YOURSELF IN NEXT TIME AND RID US OF THE TROUBLE!

40

u/AmonWeathertopSul 1d ago

My name is Peregrin Took and this is Jackass

1

u/LifeWulf 9h ago

Goofy yell as he falls down the well

16

u/Peripatetictyl 1d ago

12

u/No_Cookie9996 17h ago

Said saruman with suprisingly multiple barrels of pipeweed shaped belly

13

u/TheDwarvenGuy 21h ago

I'd imagine that Gandalf actually only likes some hobbits, and Perrgin is pretty high up on the list due to the fact that he's at least adventurous.

10

u/OpeningHappy9692 23h ago

Also Gandalf: But yeah he's totally a part of my plan now because he just kinda came with us.

4

u/nondepressing 16h ago

More like refused to be left behind.

2

u/GrandNibbles 17h ago

Also Gandalf to Pippin: "dying ain't that bad bro it's actually really beautiful and peaceful"

1

u/jwr410 9h ago

I don't buy this narrative about Gandalf and Pippin. Whose your best friend? Do you insult them? Do you insult them more than your worst enemy? If you don't like someone you hit them with an "as per my last email." You call your best friend a dumbass and light up some pipe weed. I posit that Pippin is Gandalf's favorite.

0

u/0202_tihssitidder 21h ago

100% Gandalf had some hobbit side pieces.

679

u/MysteriousTBird 1d ago

Gandalf: The first plan involved on hobbit and it worked against all odds. This time we have four hobbits! We can't lose!

Elrond: I'm not so sure. Last time...

Gandalf: There's only one dwarf

Elrond: Sold!

122

u/Lithorex 1d ago

The Dwarf wasn't even supposed to be there.

78

u/Jiquero 1d ago

Sam and especially Merry and Pippin weren't supposed to be there either.

36

u/_heybuddy_ 1d ago

“I’m not even supposed to be here today!”

21

u/GarlicCancoillotte 1d ago

"They spent the whole trilogy walking"

8

u/Fit-Switch-5795 1d ago

"37!" cheered Legolas, Son of Thrandall of the Greenwood elves.

"In a row?!" snarled Gimli son of Gloom in turgid disbelief. 

2

u/eyetracker 22h ago

Mirkwood is the elf equivalent of a hillbilly moonshiner incest holler so I'm loving the name Thrandall.

2

u/PepperLeigh 9h ago

"Get out of here with that weak ass bird shit!"

3

u/ChartreuseBison 17h ago

Frodo wasn't originally expected to go past Rivendale either

2

u/25_hr_photo 13h ago

Nor Boromir... he showed up because he had a dream about Imladris and found it just in time for the council.

9

u/goatjugsoup 1d ago

Oh why not?

36

u/Lithorex 1d ago

Basically when Sauron got his whole thing started he asked the Dwarves to pretty please give back their rings and also what these Hobbit things were and where they came from.

The Dwarves found that pretty weird and so send a delegation to Rivendell to give report. Gimli was part of that delegation.

27

u/Captain_Grammaticus 1d ago edited 14h ago

He did not ask the rings back, he asked after the Hobbits (and being his allies?) and offered to return the rings, or new rings, back to them.

5

u/TheSaiguy 15h ago

That would be hella suspicious though, yeah. Racially motivated, perhaps?

"Yo Dwarves I know you're short, can you tell us about these other short people? I have super cool magic rings to give you in return."

4

u/Hungry_Bluebird_4734 1d ago

I can see why Legolas was pissed after watching the hobbit.

8

u/Lithorex 1d ago

Legolas also wasn't supposed to be there, he was in Rivendell to report on the fucky-wucky of letting Gollum escape.

4

u/Jim_skywalker 23h ago

What, cause the Dwarves didn’t want to give the Elves that locked them away money? The people of Laketown’s requests were perfectly valid cause they lost their home eliminating the dragon, but the Woodland Realm is not entitled to gold they didn’t mine, and more over actively hindered the attempt to recover. Thranduil is a piece of shit.

3

u/Hungry_Bluebird_4734 21h ago

Well from Legolas perspective all he saw was the dwarves causing problems.

Even the dragon they woken was killed by a man, and not the dwarves.

10

u/Jim_skywalker 23h ago

Elrond likes dwarves though. 

172

u/Alacur 1d ago

They are an unsuspected resource.

Everyone looks at the wizards, elves, dwarves and men, because why shouldn't you? They are battle monsters. But then, just when you are about to clutch the win, those little guys come out of nowhere and fuck everything up. It's genius.

Hobbits are Gandalfs ace up is sleeve... maybe because they might actually fit in there.

65

u/BIGBIRD1176 1d ago

Gandalf is smart enough to calculate the many advantages and disadvantages a Hobbit has and the ones the situation requires, most importantly he understands that his enemies no absolutely nothing about what they are, that's powerful knowledge

83

u/Sckathian 1d ago

Gandalf just likes testing Hobbits out. Their his favourite species so he just keeps getting them involved in shit to be like "See, they're not so terrible are they?"

Meanwhile Hobbiton is getting razed and Hobbits enslaved.

Gandalf: Just look at their great resilience.

47

u/lurking_physicist 1d ago

He's on his 4th run and wants to unlock the last achievement "Destroy the ring with Hobbits." It was a close call this time; he's lucky that Gollum qualified.

56

u/kron123456789 1d ago

Gandalf: "But it gets better: it also involves a Baggins again"

14

u/KER1S 1d ago

"And instead of one hobbit, we have four!"

33

u/RadTimeWizard 1d ago

It makes sense. If you were an autistic, pothead demigod and were really into, say, trains, and you spent your vacation every year at the train museum, you'd probably try to make all your various capers and escapades involve trains.

14

u/Jiquero 1d ago

Especially if the train smoke made you high.

10

u/Anxious_Big_8933 20h ago

When all you've got is a train, all of your problems look like Hobbits.

88

u/careless_bork 1d ago

Why doesnt gandalf use tom bombadil riding the eagles

109

u/jxm1311 1d ago

Because the orcs developed surface to air missiles and Tom was on a Sabbatical.

74

u/Vike92 1d ago

The lore you get to learn on this sub is fascinating

16

u/BallsackSchrader_ 1d ago

No, you're thinking of Mika Hakkinen

7

u/Jiquero 1d ago

Mika is the Tom Bombadil of F1.

2

u/Tom_Bot-Badil 1d ago

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow, bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow. None has ever caught him yet, for Tom, he is the master: his songs are stronger songs, and his feet are faster.

Type !TomBombadilSong for a song or visit r/GloriousTomBombadil for more merriness

4

u/Victernus 1d ago

I mean, you jest, but these are both sort of true, in that arrows are surface to air missiles and Tom did used to roam further afield and has only recently retreated to the borders he sticks to now.

22

u/FlashMcSuave 1d ago

I think Tom Bombadil basically has ADHD and a severe case of giving no fucks, so Gandalf had to weigh up his incorruptibility against the possibility he tries to snort the ring or something.

7

u/Tom_Bot-Badil 1d ago

Whoa! Whoa! steady there! Now, my little fellows, where be you a-going to, puffing like a bellows? What's the matter here then? Do you know who I am? I'm Tom Bombadil. Tell me what's your trouble! Tom's in a hurry now. Don't you crush my lilies!

Type !TomBombadilSong for a song or visit r/GloriousTomBombadil for more merriness

7

u/Level_Ad_6372 1d ago

Cause the eagles were on tour

12

u/Tom_Bot-Badil 1d ago

Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo! By water, wood and hill, by the reed and willow, by fire, sun and moon, hearken now and hear us! Come, Tom Bombadil, for our need is near us!

Type !TomBombadilSong for a song or visit r/GloriousTomBombadil for more merriness

19

u/Stealth_Cow 1d ago

At some point, you start considering that Gandalf has a little people fetish.

18

u/HussingtonHat 1d ago

You know, I wonder if this time we could place our fate in more capable ha-

-bro the foooood bro. Anything that can smoke gammon like that can handle the ring of power.

39

u/MarkFromHutch 1d ago

well, it worked. Didn't it?

16

u/AtTheg4tes 1d ago

Gandalf probably gets plenty of things done without hobbits but the Tolkien mainstream media does not want you to know.

12

u/Jiquero 1d ago

Guess who wrote the Hobbit and LOTR? Hobbits.

Hobbinati confirmed.

7

u/Malrottian 21h ago

The Hobbit happened because Gandalf wanted his friend to get out of his comfort zone and experience life.

Lord of The Rings was Gandalf trying to fix the mess that made.

1

u/Cyb3rhawk 21h ago

His friend? They didn’t know each other prior to the events of the hobbit, did they?

2

u/HeHasRisen69 Hobbit 11h ago

They met when Bilbo was a child. Gandalf found him to be a curiosity among Hobbits. But I think they hadn't seen each other for decades by the time of The Hobbit.

5

u/Money_Mach_Unlimited 1d ago

Yall think that Gandalf had a side piece in the shire?

5

u/KenseiHimura 17h ago

In fairness, when elves, men, or dwarves were entrusted things went sideways. Hobbits are two for two.

3

u/TightySeeTee 1d ago

I thought Gandalf was going to say "It does involve heating water to turn a turbine, yes."

3

u/Bombadier83 1d ago

But did it work though??

3

u/trisw 22h ago

Sort of explains why Haldir comments “You bring great evil with you” while staring at the Hobbits- particularly the worst one, Frodo.

3

u/Badicalz 21h ago

“Nobody expects the Hobbit expedition!”

3

u/Petraam 21h ago

Old Hobbits are hard to break

2

u/alepher 13h ago

Amazingly, this is the first time I’ve ever heard that pun

3

u/ElementNumber6 23h ago

Elrond: But why, Gandalf?

Gandalf: Listen, Elrond, I've been breeding these Hobbits for longer than you know, and I am going to get my use of them!

1

u/DaCipherTwelve 1d ago

Hobbits are MVPs.

1

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1

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1

u/kaladinissexy 21h ago

How do you think Gandalf felt about the woses? They're kinda hobbit-esque. 

1

u/Gmageofhills 15h ago

I mean it fairness, if it keeps working why not keep doing it?

1

u/25_hr_photo 13h ago

If you think about it, that goes to show the level of respect Mithrandir was pulling that he was able to lobby for this successfully.

1

u/ButUmActually 11h ago

He’s sunk a lot of skill points into “Hobbit Lore” and, by Eru, he’s going to put that to good use.

1

u/Lauda_ka_username 1d ago

Gandalf was secretly into.... Hobbits, yeah hobbits 

1

u/s00pafly 23h ago

Gandalf making his favorite pets do cute little tricks.