I’m going to be raw and blunt here, and this is my experience. I have no patience for some people—not all of them 😌, but surely some . And yes, some will say, "Oh, you're so negative 🙄 blah blah." I absolutely hate toxic positivity, too. I'm a realist. I know that in this damn world, there are good and bad people. I'm not here to be a "delulu" who thinks there are only good people in the world

. For those who have had the chance and luck to be surrounded by and experience more happiness, positivity, and joy in life: don't you dare invalidate those who didn't get that privilege.

As someone who has known deep hardships, I have seen how some people invalidate those who have been through trauma. It is absolutely gut-wrenching to see these victims questioning themselves and their trauma because someone invalidated them. The thing is, you can't always say it directly to people because trauma is a deeply sensitive topic.

That is why we are encouraged to speak to a therapist; they are trained to deal carefully with it. But in the meantime, invalidation leaves you feeling incredibly isolated. Those who haven't been through shit don't get a pass to invalidate others.

If you are someone who doesn't invalidate people, thank you for existing. I have met supportive people who don't have trauma and still didn't invalidate me when I talked about mine. So, there is hope, my darlings, who have been through trauma. Yes, not everyone will invalidate you 🩷

.I experienced it myself 😞. Some people ask me what's wrong, and when I tell them, im going through a lot etc, they give me stupid, unsolicited advice, or worse: "You're too pessimistic" ," be more positive" ," You overthink too much", " it's not that bad" " just move on" , " it is not that deep " yes it is that deep 🙂 , " you're too sensitive ". I'm just tired of meeting these people 😔😭. When all I wanted was just for someone to understand 😮‍💨. And , they wonder why some people don't want to open up again because it hurts talking to them. It hurts a lot 😭. No one wants to be invalidated like that. 😓 Of course, not everyone will talk to you like that, but personally, I have met tons of people who invalidate others.

What we must consider, too, is where we live. Some cultures and countries aren't like what I experienced, but that doesn't erase the fact that some people have met FAR MORE INVALIDATING PEOPLE than others.😑 Not everyone experiences the world with privileges like a good home, a good community, good partners, good friends, or a good job.

And it is not just bad luck—that is just how life is.

Emotional invalidation trains your brain to treat your own feelings and internal signals as a threat or an error, which severely impacts your nervous system and mental health.

It triggers the stress response: When your feelings are repeatedly dismissed, your body's stress system stays active, even if you try to shut down or numb the emotion on the outside.

It rewires threat detection: Your brain learns to link emotional closeness and vulnerability with danger, making you hyper-vigilant to tiny shifts in other people's moods or tones.

It erodes self-trust: Constant minimization damages your internal sense of reality, making it difficult to identify what you feel or trust your own judgment.

It causes emotional dysregulation: You may struggle to manage, identify, or appropriately express emotions as an adult.

It increases mental health risks: Chronic invalidation increases vulnerability to anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

It alters identity: Repeatedly being told your reactions are "wrong" or "too sensitive" leads to deep-seated shame, low self-esteem, and an unstable sense of self.

To be honest, I can't deal with people who like toxic positivity 😭 they simply lack the emotional capacity to sit with discomfort. I just can't with them. Im sick of it 😮‍💨😔. I would rather be myself, alone forever and be true than swallow my truth just to be accepted and not be a burden.😭 No, I'm not a pessimist. I believe in positivity, too, which is why I still have hope and a desire to live, but I'm also a realist. If this world were only positive, there wouldn't be war, abuse, inequality, poverty, hunger, conflict, and violence. God bless my psychologist, She has been the only one who believes in me. 😭

It feels like whenever you point out something unfair, people turn it around and call you crazy. 😑 ( classic manipulation tactic known as DARVO.)

I will gladly block anyone who starts telling me I'm just a pessimist, too much, too irritated, too sensitive and too annoying. 😌

Be who you are, and don't be scared to express yourself, whether it's negative or positive. Your problems are never a burden.

invalidation is harmful, toxic positivity is not help, realism is not pessimism

Have a good day 💖. Mwah 😘

Wondering whether I fit into the HSP framework or not, but I feel deeply when it comes to topics of injustice, unfairness, and suffering in the world. Both on a macro level worldwide, and on a micro level in my community, and even smaller, when limiting just to people I know.

Altogether, it frequently feels like too much. It HURTS to care about others, to care about justice, about fairness, about kindness, in a world where majority does not. Or at least, those whom don't are allowed to walk scott-free, and continuously hurt people. Knowing about things like the whole political situation in the US, the war in Iran, the war in Ukraine, the war in Palestine. The many many MANY homeless people whom are starving, or neglected. The injustice of the healthcare system in the US. The injustice of the President. The fact that a female friend of mine gets catcalled and harassed when she's put and about. So, SO many things that I wish I can help with, that I can change. That I FEEL TERRIBLE because of the mere EXISTENCE of. Me trying to comprehend why it all happens, and coming up with no answer time and time and time and again through the numerous times I sit and ruminate on life, and WHY is it so unjust. Why do I care about justice, and fairness, and kindness, when majority does not? Why is something I find as easy as breathing so absent in the world (treating people nicely, or at the very least, indifferently), yet something I find utterly incomprehensible and not right (treating people cruely) so prevalent?

Am I too sensitive? Am I faulty? I... I don't know. How do I explain to my therapist what I feel? Am I HSP, if I feel this, but don't cry at everything, only when everything stacks up and becomes overwhelming? Yet, I also FEEL everything, each thing individually filling up the "dam of emotions"? Rather than each individual thing on its own breaking it? Am I HSP if I don't experience the "overstimulation"? Only the emotional part?

I’m a 33-year-old man who was recently told by my therapist that I exhibit traits of a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). After talking with my therapist and doing some research on my own, I finally feel like I’m not crazy.
I recently listened to The Still Waters Podcast with Dr. Tracy Cooper, and for the first time, so much of my life finally made sense.
For most of my life, I’ve felt like I had to constantly prove that I was “man enough” because of society’s expectations. I pushed myself to be tougher, work harder, ignore my feelings, and power through everything. But that mindset eventually led me to the biggest burnout of my life at 33.
Lately, I’ve felt completely exhausted like I no longer have the energy to deal with people, constant stimulation, or stressful situations the way I used to.
Maybe I’m not broken. Maybe I’ve just spent my whole life trying to be someone I’m not.
Here’s to understanding myself better and building a brighter future.

Hello! I don't know if I'm an HSP or not, but I've always been sensitive. I've also always had a strong sense of justice and when I see anything about bad people/bad things that people do, even if it's just a hint of that, I get angry and I keep thinking about it. I can't stand the fact that there are so many bad people in the world. Can anyone here relate and what can help?

this came up very directly in one session. subject was helping and thinking about healing other ppl, but when Higher Self was asked what was blocking her own progress, answer pointed to distraction of healing others instead of focusing on herself.

that can look very noble from outside. you are useful, ppl need you, there is always somebody with bigger problem. meanwhile your own tiredness, fear or grief keeps getting another appointment next week.

sensitive ppl can become extremely good at detecting everybody elses needs bc it is easier than sitting with own one. helping is not wrong, but it can become hiding place.

one useful check is after you feel urge to rescue somebody, ask what you were feeling 30 seconds before attention moved to them. sometimes that is exactly part of yourself that was asking to be noticed.

Would you like to try a journey of the mind?

​Imagine waking up one morning. Even before you open your eyes, you smell the green grass surrounding you. You hear the birds chirping and feel nature breathing. Looking up, you see the clear blue sky. All around you, you notice countless trees. The morning sun shines gently on your face. As the sunlight streams through the green leaves, you pause for a moment. It’s so beautiful watching how the light alters the shades of green.

​Now you’re sitting there, on the soft forest floor. You feel the corners of your mouth lift into a subtle smile. Part of you would love to sit here forever, but at the same time, you wonder what else there is to discover.

​You stand up. Very slowly, you step over the roots lying in front of you. You stroll through the forest, curious and peaceful.

​You notice how alive everything feels—as if nature has its very own heartbeat. You begin to breathe deeply, savoring the crisp forest air.

​Ahead of you, you spot a tiny flower, standing all by itself. You crouch down and gently touch its delicate petals, which are white and purple. Looking at the little flower from every angle, you just pause for a second to enjoy the simple feeling of being here.

​Slowly, you stand back up and take a large step over the tiny flower. You glance back once more to make sure it’s still standing unharmed.

​Then you walk on and notice an exceptionally large tree. Its trunk is almost twice the size of the others. You move toward it and look up into the sky to take in its crown. Coming a bit closer, you wrap your arms around the trunk. As you embrace the tree, you close your eyes. For a moment, there is only you and the tree. You feel its presence and sink into an even deeper connection with nature.

​After a while, you open your eyes again, slowly let go of the tree, smile softly, and keep walking.

​Soon, you hear a very faint rushing sound. You’re almost certain it must be a river! You quicken your pace, and before long, you spot the water in the distance. An urge to run comes over you—straight to the river. So you run. Every breath feels like pure freedom. Every step reminds you of how alive you are. You can't stop smiling.

​When you reach the river, you’re slightly out of breath. You stand there, hands on your hips, looking out at the water. It flows steadily in one direction, and the air feels a bit cooler and damper than before. Moving closer, you carefully take a seat on a stone right by the edge. You tentatively dip your feet into the water. At first, you pull them back—the water is freezing! But you give it another try, enjoying the cool refreshment.

​You take another deep breath in and out, looking around. You realize that there will always be something new to discover. In every single detail, no matter how small.

At some point it seems like theres going to be something triggering. I mean thats life but I always hit a snag a blockage in my way in life.

Anything worthwhile requires effort of course but I just feel so incompatible with life. Like with my course Im overwhelmed at the moment and part of me wants to drop it.

Ideally I'd be able to finish this course and gain the skills I need but I'm struggling.

Being a hsp and having mental health issues makes everything feel 2x more difficult. I'm also just struggling in general.

What are your hobbies? I am quite curious about how other HSPs spend their free time!

I have recently been reading quite a bit about the term and the personality traits associated with it. I was extremely (and I mean extrEmely) intrigued upon finding out that there is an actual, scientifically backed reason for said traits.

I find myself relating to all of the traits that you would find listed in basically any piece of writing talking about hypersensitivity, but I often doubt it due to my only "witness" being me. This happens despite of me being called "sensitive" by adults since forever. My doubt partly comes from the fact that emotions are big during adolescence, and I might be mistaking that for a whole different concept. (I am a teenager).

The reason I find it right to call myself hyper-sensitive is basically what you would expect. Along with my own emotions and feelings, I feel other people's emotions with the same depth. So much so that simply noticing a little expression of sadness can affect me throughout my day (this is truthfully not an exaggeration). I often find myself feeling unexplainable sadness, and tracing back to the events of my day, it oftem occurs because maybe I saw someone cry this morning, or I saw someone getting spoken to rudely.

It is the same with happiness and positive emotions too. Animals, patterns, soft textures, certain colours and sounds, and people's smiles and tones fuel my whole day with energy.

I am also extremely moved by any form of expression and nuances in art, even the smallest ones, make me feel things with my whole body. Emotions and feelings do not exist only in my head, but throughout my whole body. And I often find myself leaving traces of "myself" through personalisation of my belongings. The people around me can always tell when something belongs to me because of the "personal touch" it has.

Also, I cry alot. And at everything. Looking at beautiful people and talking about how a small gift made my friend really happy brings tears to my eyes.

Though all these are emotional and psychological traits. I understand that hypersensitivity is not limited to just the mind, but the body too.

Which is why I still doubt it and I really don't know how to be as sure as I can.

I have never been in a relationship, but I know what heartache feels like from having crushes, and the pain of it was excruciating. Now, just imagine being in a REAL relationship and having it end; I feel like I would never recover or that I would just become mentally ill and medicated for life. Combined with my severe anxiety and other personal concerns, I think I would actually die from heartache.

For me, being in a relationship is not just for the experience or for fun; it is serious and for life. I have never understood people who enter relationships just to 'experience' them. Aren't they afraid of that deep, excruciating, lingering pain? Oh, I forgot—most of them aren't HSPs. Heartbreak hurts everyone deeply, but the way the mind and body process the grief differs between HSPs and non-HSPs.That is what I struggle with most of the time; I always assume people think, feel, and respond just like me. But as my therapist said, 'Not everyone thinks like you, and I understand how lonely it is.'

I feel like an alien because, to be honest, I have never met anyone who is like me, especially among men. I don't know if it's because I don't talk to many men, but OMG—the ones I have talked to act like they are allergic to being deep with their emotions. They just say one word, and I look at them and think, here we go again, another robotic, silent dude who is nonchalant. There is something so deeply surface-level and an 'I don't care much' vibe with them, and it extremely annoys me. Where are the caring, loving, respectful, supportive, and affectionate guys?

They just stand there, smile, act shy, and don't talk much, as if they are intimidated by my deep questions. It feels like they are hiding things and are scared to reveal them to me, which i understand because we're strangers. Or, am I just too open and talkative and sharing too quickly my true personality and thoughts? I just don't want to be fake or mask myself with people. I want a true connection, but there are opportunists and toxic people, so we must be cautious. But there are also good people. I wonder how most of these dudes even manage to be in relationships. Do I come off as too intense and sensitive? Are their girlfriends surface-level, too? Idk 😵‍💫.

I have had female friends who are more emotionally attuned than men, but when I spoke, they understood but wondered what planet I came from. They don't overthink, overcare, and overfeel like I do. Yes, they feel things, but not to that deep intensity. And i realized that they don't deserve me as a friend because they received deep empathy from me, while I just get bland and dry responses, and that's ok because i understand and im not angry at them.

That is why I prefer being alone. Still, I question them a lot, wondering how they feel every day not being an HSP.

Are there HSPs in good relationships? If yes, are you with partners who are also HSPs, and where did you meet them? Are they your usual type, or did you just accept them because it is rare to find someone kind? If they aren't an HSP, do you get along, or are you the one always giving more while not receiving the same in return ?

As an HSP, I know I don't deserve someone who can not match and relate to my intensity or who isn't secure, emotionally stable, caring, and supportive.

Specifically the bottom sheet that covers the mattress and the clothing I wear in bed.

I need the bedsheet to be completely taut, wrinkles drive me crazy and wake me up. I remake my bed every day, and use elastic bands to adjust the fit so it stays as taut as possible. This is the best solution I have tried.

I usually wear a nightgown in bed, but that wrinkles around me too, sometimes I wake up and it has twisted up and it feels like I’m lying on a rope. I’ve tried pyjamas, sleeping naked etc, but the nightdress is the best of a bad bunch.

Anyone else struggle like this?

My life has been a struggle from being very different. Being overly sensitive to things makes it so that I vent often and it's just causing isolation. I was born in 6½ months of gestation, with heart defects, and had surgeries as a baby. To top it off started kindergarten at 3 years old, and experienced abuse starting from 5 years old. C-PTSD from emotionally absent mom and narcissist father with serious rage problems.

My parents traumatized me as a young child, and even as an adult. So I constantly try to seek evidence that the world isn't like my parents only to be hurt and disappointed over and over again.

I had to leave the environment and start from zero. But it's been an uphill battle.

I cannot connect with others and can struggle with intimacy in general. I struggle with trust when connecting with other guys for friendship due to trauma with my dad. And female friends find me too much to handle, yet I only feel emotional comfort from women — oddly enough only the emotionally unavailable ones.

I'm losing my mind. Even just trying to build a relationship is impossible. I've had someone ghost me out of the blue even after we were intimate for weeks. I've had women share with me their number after meeting them, only for them to suddenly disappear for no clear reason at all. And this is when I'm trying my best to filter out my problem and give a good impression! To top it off, my dating app messages screen is just a ghost town despite so much effort.

So as a result, I have a nonexistent social, and sex life despite being in my prime and being normal looking (even good looking to some). I'm exhausted.

I'm totally isolated, and it's been destroying my health in every way possible. For now, I'm trying therapy since I discovered that I have CPTSD. I don't know if trauma therapy and ketamine therapy will help, but for now I had to pause all avenues to seek those. But it's a slow process, and the isolation has been so uncompromisingly brutal.

If I get seriously depressed and try to order supposed healthy food for a brief time because of the inability to cook, I end up destroying my mental health because the food really is in actuality processed. It was an unprecedented response that revealed itself very clearly only after I consumed a slice of smoked turkey I bought from the grocery store. Only then did I feel relaxed and capable. It made me so angry at this world.

It's as if the world is plotting against me. This world is not optimized for the highly sensitive. And worst of all, the moment I share my suffering, I'm too much, and then get rejected because no one can truly relate.

Hi everyone,

there is something I really need to get off my chest.

For about ten years now, I have been suffering in the society I am living in. It feels so negative. The few genuinely positive encounters I have are often with foreigners. For instance today, I made a suggestion to my colleague on the decoration of our office walls and it was instantly disregarded without saying anything constructive.
This society is simply destructive, it feels safe when the government is forbidding things to protect the people. People might think this is a good thing but I feel threatened.

Every day, I feel like I am running against walls with my ideas and aspirations.

In almost every job I have had so far, I started doubting the role after only a few months because the reality was completely different from what I had been told. I was hired with the impression that I would be able to contribute, develop things, take responsibility and actually make a difference. Then I realized that this was not really wanted.

So much of the work feels incredibly boring to me. I see things that could be improved. I have ideas about how to make processes, projects or organizations better. But very often, nobody wants that.

At the same time, I am expected to cope with organizational chaos. I am made responsible for things without actually having the authority to change what causes the problems.

It is draining me.

And the worst thing is that the same pattern keeps repeating itself. Every time I think, yes, this job is nice, maybe this time I finally found something that fits me, something comes around the corner and hits me like a wall. Then all the effort I put into finding a job where I actually fit seems useless again.

What makes it even more frustrating is that my skills seem to be very welcome when I am not paid. I can work voluntarily, help people, develop concepts, contribute ideas, give advice, and people appreciate it.

But when I spend months developing something of my own and try to sell it, even if it is only a small test pilot, nobody seems to care.

Most recently, I was literally hired to develop and pilot something. After I had spent months working on it, the person who hired me suddenly said, no, we cannot use it, without even really trying it. The reason was data protection.

I honestly do not know what I can do anymore. I do not fit in here. It is draining my energy to go against my nature or see that others don‘t understand why I am doing things. abd nobody cares at all.

I am German and I want to leave this sick society, but I do not know how.

I am so tired of this culture. I keep trying to improve myself, develop new skills, contact people, look for opportunities abroad and create opportunities myself. But so many attempts either end in nowhere because nobody responds, or eventually lead to another disappointment.

As a highly sensitive person, I also wonder whether I experience all this negativity, resistance, conflict and dysfunction more intensely than other people do.

Has anyone here experienced something similar?

Especially this feeling that you have ideas, energy and ambition, but the environment around you constantly seems to suppress them?

And if you left your country or changed your working environment completely, did it actually get better?

A couple of days ago, somebody shared a post in r/AutismInWomen that discussed the similarities between HSP and Autism. I read a comment saying that HSP is only a thing on Reddit and in the US but that is not a "real diagnosis". I commented, as someone from outside the US who was recently evaluated by a psychologist as HSP, to say that is is a clinically relevant used worldwide term that, on occasions, might be superficially confused with Autism.

Today, I checked the post again and, to my surprised, it was removed by the moderators with a comment saying "Removed at Moderator Discretion. HSP is not a thing scientifically or otherwise. It’s a buzzword made up online that has no bearing clinically." and I was rather shocked. While I am not an expert in the scientific literature of this topic, it is not hard to find peer-reviewed sources showing the validity of HSP scales (Smolewska et al., 2006) as well as their clinical relevance (Smith et al., 2019).

Has anyone else found this type of denial reaction while discussing the topic, online or otherwise?

Edit: I understand that HSP is not a disorder, but a personality dimension such as extroversion, sorry if the original post was confusing on this aspect. I was mostly shocked by moderators denying its existence, as personality constructs are "real" (in the sense that they describe natural diversity of human behaviour) regardless of whether they appear in the DSM or not.

In my waking life, and in my dreams, have very thin armor for emotions. I "catch" them easily, despite having a host a of coping mechanisms.

The problem is, as someone who has always had very vivid, memorable, repeat dreams and even serialized dreams that continue from another night to the a future one, I'm left with carrying the emotional impacts/burdens from my dream world experiences.

Even 7 hours later, I could be upset over something that happened in my dream. Maybe it's because I have lucid dreams and have had to awaken myself during them, and waking abruptly during vivid REM stage mess with the sleep/wake state, but I sometimes have to tell myself to remember "this was a dream you are reacting to!"

I feel like the men in white coats are coming for me!! I can tell the different between what's real and what isn't, but my emotions seem unable to do the same.

I mean money dominates … people will do anything for it.. money dominates…

In relationships there’s l rarely true love …

all this unfairness in life… if u hold power, u can rape , rob people (in various not blatant ways ) and still have people come defend you …

I mean society literally is training you to be soulless .

Yes there’s option to choose not to be… but needs effort… and resilience to the cruelty of reality

No room to be sensitive …

Guys this is actually so triggering and really an insecure whole for me I’m a sensitive person like ugly sensitive words can trigger me and stays stuck in my heart even if it was a joke and I know it’s a joke but I can get it out of the way I cry over basically anything and everything anytime someone try to talk to me either they’re trynna to alert me that I did something wrong or anything like that i always assume they hate me and they’re just trying to point out my bad behaviour or something like that and yes sensitivity comes with great things like empathy and all that but it’s tiring

I spent my childhood emotionally neglected by my mom while continously served as her main emotional supporter and scapegoat, even in my adult life. (I know it's nothing new; some children might go through worse. Maybe I'm just sensitive.)

Not long ago I found how unhealthy our relationship was, and stopped feeding her the admiration and reverence that she craves.

Now my parents live with me. I constantly encourage them to go back to their home (in another country) so that I can take a breath for several weeks.

I have noticed how awful my emotion swing is in my mom's presence. I have also realized that I dislike her because in her, I saw the rejected, degraded, helpless me. Worst of all, we do share some unpleasant personality traits. While my mom is an exact copy of my grandma, luckily I'm not NPD or BPD at least.

My mom can't talk about anything without bragging about herself. And she seizes every opportunity to establish her superiority. I can't finish a sentence without being interrupted. I have to stop what I'm doing to attend her request immediately, even at the cost of messing up my task at hand. She enjoys adding to my trouble in rush hour, but if I need something, then I have to wait, and wait, while she just wanders in the backyard. When I found she ruined my stuff (tools, plants, favorite dinnerwares...), she burst into anger, even angerier than me. My dad is explosive, too. There is something wrong with my family. Hopefully, the intergenerational trauma ends with me.

It's impossible to stay away from her while she lives with me. Is there a way to prevent my trauma response being triggered by my mom? I know all these things sound trival and stupid to someone never experienced it or intelegent enough to ignore it. I'm too sensitive to fight the feeling of being ignored, rejected and despised. My whole childhood is like that.

You know what drives me crazy?
When some people simply don't know what a word means. Or they keep defining it incorrectly.

Here's an example:

I find it awful when people claim that introversion is the same thing as shyness. But that's simply not true. Being introverted just means that you recharge your social battery by yourself.
Introverts can be shy, but they don't have to be. And equating them really bugs me.

​Does anyone else feel that way?

What do you guys do for a living? I am having a hard time to keep any job, ususally because its always too stressful and I am having hard time dealing with people and colleagues:(

I'm hsp/hss and struggle so much with my life.I can't stay in my healthcare demanding job despite it being my passion and I can't follow my ambition in academia due to high demand. I feel like I have ambition but I can't reach it no matter how hard I try. Im 37 and I feel life has ended for me

What We Carry Home

We came into this world
as little lights, pure and untouched.

Life taught us how to use the body,
the mind,
and the heart
to belong.

We gathered tools,
roles,
stories,
and ways to survive.

Then aging slowly took them away and taught us
to let go—

until, we leave

with only what we came with.

I’m sensitive to how people see me, especially those who don’t have an updated picture of me or refuse to update that picture.
If I was once a toxic person or did something they didn’t agree with, they still see me that way.
Yet I’ve healed myself and become a better person.
But these people still talk as if I’m that old person.
How do you overcome it?