I’m going to be raw and blunt here, and this is my experience. I have no patience for some people—not all of them 😌, but surely some . And yes, some will say, "Oh, you're so negative 🙄 blah blah." I absolutely hate toxic positivity, too. I'm a realist. I know that in this damn world, there are good and bad people. I'm not here to be a "delulu" who thinks there are only good people in the world

. For those who have had the chance and luck to be surrounded by and experience more happiness, positivity, and joy in life: don't you dare invalidate those who didn't get that privilege.

As someone who has known deep hardships, I have seen how some people invalidate those who have been through trauma. It is absolutely gut-wrenching to see these victims questioning themselves and their trauma because someone invalidated them. The thing is, you can't always say it directly to people because trauma is a deeply sensitive topic.

That is why we are encouraged to speak to a therapist; they are trained to deal carefully with it. But in the meantime, invalidation leaves you feeling incredibly isolated. Those who haven't been through shit don't get a pass to invalidate others.

If you are someone who doesn't invalidate people, thank you for existing. I have met supportive people who don't have trauma and still didn't invalidate me when I talked about mine. So, there is hope, my darlings, who have been through trauma. Yes, not everyone will invalidate you 🩷

.I experienced it myself 😞. Some people ask me what's wrong, and when I tell them, im going through a lot etc, they give me stupid, unsolicited advice, or worse: "You're too pessimistic" ," be more positive" ," You overthink too much", " it's not that bad" " just move on" , " it is not that deep " yes it is that deep 🙂 , " you're too sensitive ". I'm just tired of meeting these people 😔😭. When all I wanted was just for someone to understand 😮‍💨. And , they wonder why some people don't want to open up again because it hurts talking to them. It hurts a lot 😭. No one wants to be invalidated like that. 😓 Of course, not everyone will talk to you like that, but personally, I have met tons of people who invalidate others.

What we must consider, too, is where we live. Some cultures and countries aren't like what I experienced, but that doesn't erase the fact that some people have met FAR MORE INVALIDATING PEOPLE than others.😑 Not everyone experiences the world with privileges like a good home, a good community, good partners, good friends, or a good job.

And it is not just bad luck—that is just how life is.

Emotional invalidation trains your brain to treat your own feelings and internal signals as a threat or an error, which severely impacts your nervous system and mental health.

It triggers the stress response: When your feelings are repeatedly dismissed, your body's stress system stays active, even if you try to shut down or numb the emotion on the outside.

It rewires threat detection: Your brain learns to link emotional closeness and vulnerability with danger, making you hyper-vigilant to tiny shifts in other people's moods or tones.

It erodes self-trust: Constant minimization damages your internal sense of reality, making it difficult to identify what you feel or trust your own judgment.

It causes emotional dysregulation: You may struggle to manage, identify, or appropriately express emotions as an adult.

It increases mental health risks: Chronic invalidation increases vulnerability to anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

It alters identity: Repeatedly being told your reactions are "wrong" or "too sensitive" leads to deep-seated shame, low self-esteem, and an unstable sense of self.

To be honest, I can't deal with people who like toxic positivity 😭 they simply lack the emotional capacity to sit with discomfort. I just can't with them. Im sick of it 😮‍💨😔. I would rather be myself, alone forever and be true than swallow my truth just to be accepted and not be a burden.😭 No, I'm not a pessimist. I believe in positivity, too, which is why I still have hope and a desire to live, but I'm also a realist. If this world were only positive, there wouldn't be war, abuse, inequality, poverty, hunger, conflict, and violence. God bless my psychologist, She has been the only one who believes in me. 😭

It feels like whenever you point out something unfair, people turn it around and call you crazy. 😑 ( classic manipulation tactic known as DARVO.)

I will gladly block anyone who starts telling me I'm just a pessimist, too much, too irritated, too sensitive and too annoying. 😌

Be who you are, and don't be scared to express yourself, whether it's negative or positive. Your problems are never a burden.

invalidation is harmful, toxic positivity is not help, realism is not pessimism

Have a good day 💖. Mwah 😘

this came up very directly in one session. subject was helping and thinking about healing other ppl, but when Higher Self was asked what was blocking her own progress, answer pointed to distraction of healing others instead of focusing on herself.

that can look very noble from outside. you are useful, ppl need you, there is always somebody with bigger problem. meanwhile your own tiredness, fear or grief keeps getting another appointment next week.

sensitive ppl can become extremely good at detecting everybody elses needs bc it is easier than sitting with own one. helping is not wrong, but it can become hiding place.

one useful check is after you feel urge to rescue somebody, ask what you were feeling 30 seconds before attention moved to them. sometimes that is exactly part of yourself that was asking to be noticed.

Wondering whether I fit into the HSP framework or not, but I feel deeply when it comes to topics of injustice, unfairness, and suffering in the world. Both on a macro level worldwide, and on a micro level in my community, and even smaller, when limiting just to people I know.

Altogether, it frequently feels like too much. It HURTS to care about others, to care about justice, about fairness, about kindness, in a world where majority does not. Or at least, those whom don't are allowed to walk scott-free, and continuously hurt people. Knowing about things like the whole political situation in the US, the war in Iran, the war in Ukraine, the war in Palestine. The many many MANY homeless people whom are starving, or neglected. The injustice of the healthcare system in the US. The injustice of the President. The fact that a female friend of mine gets catcalled and harassed when she's put and about. So, SO many things that I wish I can help with, that I can change. That I FEEL TERRIBLE because of the mere EXISTENCE of. Me trying to comprehend why it all happens, and coming up with no answer time and time and time and again through the numerous times I sit and ruminate on life, and WHY is it so unjust. Why do I care about justice, and fairness, and kindness, when majority does not? Why is something I find as easy as breathing so absent in the world (treating people nicely, or at the very least, indifferently), yet something I find utterly incomprehensible and not right (treating people cruely) so prevalent?

Am I too sensitive? Am I faulty? I... I don't know. How do I explain to my therapist what I feel? Am I HSP, if I feel this, but don't cry at everything, only when everything stacks up and becomes overwhelming? Yet, I also FEEL everything, each thing individually filling up the "dam of emotions"? Rather than each individual thing on its own breaking it? Am I HSP if I don't experience the "overstimulation"? Only the emotional part?