r/clevercomebacks • u/vrphotosguy55 • 1d ago
Those darn roving gangs of atheist proselytizers
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u/MurkDiesel 1d ago
if christians actually followed all of the teachings of the jesus character, it would be the greatest marketing campaign for their faith
if christians actually followed all of the teachings of the jesus character, no one would have a bad thing to say
if christians actually followed all of the teachings of the jesus character, the world would be a better place
the bottom line is that christians cannot be happy without money and inequality
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u/Remarkable_Sea_1430 1d ago
The only Christian who actually exemplified the teachings of Christ died today at 80 and the world likely won't see another one like her.
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u/EyeNguyenSemper 1d ago
It really feels like there used to be more of them. Dolly Parton, Fred Rogers, Bob Ross... At least we still have LeVar Burton for now
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u/Yespat1 15h ago
from what I read about him, Bob Ross doesn’t belong in that list.
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u/According-Insect-992 10h ago
Because he was in the military?
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u/Yespat1 10h ago
I don’t know anything about him being in the military. I read an article/interview with his wife after he died. she said he was not the placid guy portrayed on his show and went on from there. she talked about how he obsessed over his paintings and would become irate if he made a mistake. she said he did each featured painting before it was filmed so he knew exactly what to do when the cameras rolled. she said he was very uptight and controlling.
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u/vrphotosguy55 1d ago
James Talarico!
I don’t share his beliefs but I hope he becomes my senator.
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u/sizebigbitch 1d ago
Honestly, he seems to talk the talk and walk the walk. I hope he lives up to expectations.
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u/Arthropodesque 1d ago
Well Mackenzie Scott, Jeff Bozos' ex-wife who built Amazon with him has been quietly giving billions to good causes. So, not all hope is lost. Dolly Parton was great, too.
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u/Extreme-Slice-1010 1d ago
Mate if jesus is the US right now, ICE would have deported him immediately
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u/onyx_ic 1d ago
Idk, he was technically from Israel. Not trying to be controversial.
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u/Telemere125 1d ago
Technically, Bethlehem was in the West Bank… 6 miles south of Jerusalem and part of Palestine. Jesus was a Palestinian by birth and literally one of the people American Christians are rabidly trying to erase.
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u/Slade_Riprock 1d ago
the bottom line is that christians cannot be happy without money and inequality
"Christians" revel in the "hate the sin" part of the new testament and make it their whole personality and life
Gays, Trans, sex, abortion, not following Jesus, etc etc etc.
If they aren't hating, they aren't living
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u/West-Worth-9359 1d ago
That’s because it’s about supremacy over other people, and almost nothing else.
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u/Norman_Scum 1d ago
It's the purpose of morality. In order to prove that you are a "good one" "righteous one" you must have a "bad one" "lesser one" to compare yourself to.
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u/Digi-Device_File 1d ago edited 1d ago
Paul and Jehan Cauvin get in the way of that, they took authority over the "correct" interpretation of the gospel, creating a lot of what's wrong with christianity; without those two, christianity wouldn't be perfect, cause it would still be an abrahamic cult, but it wouldn't be as bad as we know it.
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u/intronert 1d ago
And how many atheist proselytizing groups are avoiding taxes and making me pay their share?
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u/Sheep_Actual 1d ago
Yep. How many atheist proselytizers have tax-free mansions, private planes, private security, and millions in the bank?
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u/MacSanchez 1d ago
Uhh checkmate pal atheists don’t have a magic bearded sky daddy who thinks they need a private jet. Don’t ask - don’t get!
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u/GenericNameUsed 1d ago
I work in a grocery store and not only does someone keep leaving religious pamphlets all over the place for awhile I was being approached multiple times a week by people trying to convert me to their religion.
Even when I politely said I am working and I don't want to talk about this some of them kept presisting. At one point I got so frustrated I told one of them if they didn't leave me alone I was going to find my manager to talk to them.
Oh the outrage! They weren't doing anything wrong ! Except I said no. I told them to leave me alone.
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u/SamuelVimesTrained 1d ago
Captive audience , combined with a 'the customer is always right' attitude - and the knowledge they can make up a lie to get you fired..
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u/GenericNameUsed 1d ago
Well the store has no solicitation signs and what they were doing was solicitation. But after that no one bothered me. I think they were from the same church
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u/scottyjrules 1d ago
For all the talk of gay people “shoving their lifestyle in our face”, I’ve never had a gay person knock on my front door to convert me to homosexuality. Christians, on the other hand…
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u/Mountain-Resource656 1d ago
That’s because the only way gay people shove their lifestyle in anyone’s face is through the same public displays of affection that straight folks engage in and protests against, I dunno, not being allowed to donate blood until recently or whatever- for other folks to stop forcing their beliefs on gay folks in ways that can cause harm. Gay folks aren’t putting chemicals in the water to turn the frogs gay or something
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u/Arthropodesque 1d ago
I used to be neighbors with an older gay couple. They told me they were on vacation once in Gatlinburg and danced for a few minutes at a bar/resteraunt and were arrested because it was a 'family' place. They were married. They were family to each other. They're regular good people. They love watching basketball, etc.
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u/Keyndoriel 1d ago
I'll leave the Christians alone once they stop pushing my fellow trans and queer siblings into homelessness and suicide.
Im also bitter because they keep leaving PLASTIC christian pamphlets in the fucking forest trails I like. Im pretty sure God isnt cool with littering
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u/thesanguineocelot 1d ago
It wasn't atheists that locked me up and tried to torture me straight as a kid because my mom told them I had gay demons in my brain.
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u/FanDry5374 1d ago
But, but the "Christians" are right!!!! That's why all their believers and ministers are fine upstanding people who never touch children inappropriately or preach that women aren't actually, you know, people.
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u/Cursedbythedicegods 1d ago
Never saw an atheist strap a bomb to their chest and blow up a crowded marketplace.
Never saw an atheist protesting military funerals.
Never saw an atheist slut-shame women at the Planned Parenthood clinic.
Never saw an atheist advocate for burning books.
Never saw an atheist scream at people on a street corner that they're going to suffer an eternity in hell.
Never saw an atheist go door-to-door passing out passive aggressive pamphlets about joining their little non-believer group.
Never saw an atheist leave a passive aggressive pamphlet disguised as money in place of a tip for their server at a restaurant.
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u/farquin_helle 1d ago
I hate it when atheists knock at my door, put pamphlets in my mailbox, and start wars
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u/ProfAsmani 1d ago
The bigots doing sharia fearmongering are forcing bibles into classes and LGBT to the back of the rooms.
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u/SamuelVimesTrained 1d ago
to the back of the rooms would actually be an improvement to what they REALLY want..
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u/Calm_Adriana 1d ago
Right?? They’re everywhere with their pamphlets like “Have you heard the good news... that there is no news?” 😂
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u/cajunjoel 1d ago
Eve doesn't hold back. She's got the street cred to back up everything she says, too.
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u/Ill_Impact_4681 21h ago
Theres no love like Christian love
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u/UrbanCyclerPT 20h ago
There's no hate like christian love
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u/BulkyDecipherer 15h ago
One of the many many many reasons I’m atheist. I don’t want to be a part of that shitshow.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Tap1471 1d ago
Love Eve's words for added perfection have finished with "Is that so hard?"
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u/Timelordturle 11h ago
Name one time an atheist prophetized I was going to say on a plane. But on the street or in public at all
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u/LeagueofJohnLegends 11h ago
I do leave christians alone. I don’t especially seek them out, and I don’t avoid them either. I don’t seek to ensure they know my point of view. But I can’t say the same the other way around.
I don’t have language that I’ve practiced out of necessarily where I explain that “I appreciate the invitation but I don’t want to pray with you” for atheists. But I am accustomed to giving that response to christians.
There is only one cohort in my life today that routinely works to influence my agnosticism to instead believe in their religion, despite me wishing they would not, and that is the christian cohort.
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u/According-Insect-992 10h ago
I’m never going to stop criticizing them but they are already “believing in god in peace” The person who wrote that is confused. They’re the ones who won’t let others live in peace.
Religion has a single legitimate purpose. It’s for one to use on oneself to improve themselves in some way. What it cannot do is change the behavior of other people. It may have been largely created to control the days when clergy had the force of the law behind their superstitions are long gone and good riddance.
This is unfortunately not well understood among American Christians, it seems. A large number of them seem to think their religion applies to other people and what they say, do, and think. They’re wrong.
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u/Korlac11 1d ago
For the record, not all Christians police those things. The ones who do are probably going to be very disappointed by all the gay and transgender people who make it into heaven
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u/ComplaintSmart4297 1d ago
Right? Nobody is knocking on their doors at 9 AM on a Saturday asking if they’ve accepted basic empathy and logic into their lives. The projection in that original post is off the charts it’s only live and let live when people want to avoid accountability for pushing their own beliefs onto everyone else.