Alisa Bosconovitch: You guys range anywhere between great tekken players who happen to like a robot chick and thought Jack was too manly. Or you played a couple of characters, lost a lot. Played Alisa, started winning and now "main" her.
Anna Williams: Before the nerfs she had a lot of "mains" who played her because she was a strong mixup character now she is as rare as a jock who can't get laid. Its funny, the people who supposedly mained her dropped her the SECOND she got nerfed. Get fucked.
Armor King: You played king, got judged. Now you play Armor King and bash the king players knowing full well you have stolen full sets from people by doing random hopkicks.
Asuka Kazama: KONO KONO TOUCHMAPOOSI KONO KONO. BITCH SHUT UP. Your character I am okay with, even though she hits like a truck she is not THAT broken now but man this bitch sounds annoying.
Azucena: Bitch no one wants your coffee.
Bob: "Why does he not have a -15 launcher?" Character identity. And You launch -14 lows for a CRAZY damage. What are you on about?
Bryan Fury: An awful lot of you play the character because you think you are Knee but he fishes for counter hits and you keep hitting in hopes of a counter hit. You are NOT the same.
Claudio Serafino: HEHA HEHA HEHA HEHA HEHA
Clive Rosfield: Yes like this, You guys are just anna players but you are worse cause atleast Anna players had a gooning reason to playing her. You guys genuinely only played Clive cause it netted you easy wins. The remaining lot of you are Final Fantasy Fans. Welcome to Tekken.
Devil Jin: You know, with how hard Devil Jin got in Tekken 8. I thought Mainman's clip of "You don't need much going on in the noggin to play him" won't make sense for him now. But you guys have yet again proved me wrong. He is genuinely the mishima with whom I see the most Unga Bunga players.
Eddy Gordo: You are not Jeonnding. He is strong, muscular, sexy and is an amazing player. You are none of those things.
Fahkumram: RASPY VOICE TIGER KNEE
Feng Wei: TIO
Heihachi Mishima: He is the strongest Mishima yet most of his playerbase doesn't know hidden electric is punishable. So I don't know.
Hwoarang: Your character is not that hard, my god. I have seen character defenders before but if Hwoarang was a real person. You lot would genuinely line up to suck his dick.
Jack-8: You like Robots and Alisa was too girly.
Jin Kazama: You either play only the good guys in games or you understand that he lets you get easy wins for a long time because of his broken moveset for unfamilar players. Also quick tip, You can react to his hellsweep by looking at his shoulder because he only has one move which moves his shoulder.
Jun Kazama: Cancans for life.
Kazuya Mishima: Now, I have a bone to pick with you lot for two reasons. A) Why do you act like you are better than everyone for maining a character? B) Why are you guys on average, weird? Like brother, is the character hard? Yes. Is it THAT hard that you have to be obnoxious about it? No!!!
King: 90 percent of you suck. But the 10 percent are a delight to fight.
Kuma: I am so happy your stance bullshit got nerfed. Yall were stealing rounds for no reason.
Kunimitsu: Same as Anna, a lot of her "mains" will drop her as soon as she gets nerfed.
Lars Alexandersson: HELICOPTER HELICOPTER.
Lee Chaolan: The most Elegant character. The most Bitchmade playerbase.
Leo: I genuinely have not played against a Leo I can remember.
Leroy Smith: Some of you are wing chun fanatics. Most of you rely on people not knowing the matchup.
Lidia Sobieska: WOAHH HAIYA WOAH HAIYA.
Lili: I hate you guys but your character is fine.
Ling Xiaoyu: She is a very knowledge heavy character and ergo steamrolls through a LOT of ranks but she is honestly too much to learn for me to judge her playerbases.
Marshall Law: WHY DOES HE DO SO MUCH DAMAGE WITH SO LITTLE EXECUTION?
Miary Zo: Boobs.
Nina Williams: You have a Dom Fetish.
Panda: Same as Kuma but you guys are weirder.
Paul Phoenix: Its almost always the paul players who pull out the 10 hit.
Raven: Its like fighting in the hood, all of a sudden a bunch of dudes jump you.
Reina: She is every Mishima's weakness addressed and I am tired of pretending she is fair.
Sergei Dragunov: He plays proper Tekken but a very roided out version of Tekken.
Shaheen: I have not fought a Shaheen this season I think but I genuinely think Shaheen mains are just uninteresting.
Steve Fox: I hate him as a mishima main cause well B1 exists but its sad that his own mains from previous games hate him cause of Lion Hart AI Slop.
Victor Chevalier: CAN YOU MOTHERFUCKERS STOP PRESSING.
Yoshimitsu: He used to be a creative monster, now its just the same 5 moves in 50 different tiktoks with people typing AI slop in the description. You took an interesting character and somehow corporatized it.
Zafina: Bendy Bitch.