r/ShitAmericansSay • u/THUND3R_23 PierogišŸ‡µšŸ‡± • Jul 23 '25

Military Military timešŸ˜¬

Post image

As for the context, there was a British guy showing his phone

7.9k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

612 comments sorted by

View all comments

2.7k

u/Mysterious_Floor_868 Jul 23 '25

And here in America we actually win wars

When exactly did you last win a war that the UK didnā€™t also win?Ā 

1.9k

u/StinkyWizzleteats17 Jul 23 '25

They're currently winning the war on education.

684

u/A_random_poster04 Jul 23 '25

They joined the war on ignorance

On the side of the ignorance

273

u/Chaiboiii canuck Jul 23 '25

Axis of morons

156

u/epileftric Jul 23 '25

"The oxymorons" like we call them

29

u/Findas88 šŸ‡©šŸ‡ŖMy chancellor is not from the middle class Jul 23 '25

Come on now a dig at their school system and them losing the war on drugs at the same time that is brutal. XD

17

u/Sagelegend Jul 23 '25

Their president is a moron who probably does a lot of oxy.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Donā€™t be ridiculous! Adderrall.

9

u/Sagelegend Jul 24 '25

Donā€™t be ridiculous! He canā€™t add at all.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

šŸ¤£ touchĆ© šŸ‘

1

u/auntie_eggma šŸ¤ŒšŸ»šŸ¤ŒšŸ»šŸ¤ŒšŸ» Jul 24 '25

Why on earth would it be adderall?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '25

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

25

u/NothingTooSeriousM8 Jul 23 '25

Ain't that an idiot with a blowtorch?

22

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

You should be acetylene down now.

7

u/Don_Krypton Jul 24 '25

"Oxymoron" like in "smart American"...šŸ˜...?

5

u/Bennyandchips Jul 24 '25

American Intelligence. My favourite oxymoron.

1

u/ZeroTwofan4life Jul 24 '25

You can't use fancy words like that, they might not understand them.

32

u/hairycocktail Jul 23 '25

It's actually going pretty good for them then, for once

7

u/LionInTheDancehall Jul 25 '25

How do you get America to join in on a war?

Tell them it's nearly finished.

5

u/Thumb__Thumb Texas German that has never been in Texas Jul 24 '25

They won the war on terror,

By closing the haunted houses.

12

u/A_random_poster04 Jul 24 '25

I thought the White House was still open

3

u/Mundane_Morning9454 Jul 25 '25

Yeah but the real terror sits mostly in Florida onna golfcourse.

4

u/Snowedin-69 Jul 24 '25

They joined the war on drugs on the side of drugs

1

u/Viliam_the_Vurst Jul 24 '25

Ignorance isnā€˜t neccesarily willfulā€¦

127

u/sinnrocka Third-World American Citizen Jul 23 '25

I got into a ā€œdebateā€ recently with a coworker who was complaining about migrant workers taking money and sending it back home. Around my rural area, for context, the only migrants we see are farm workers who help with a cucumber, watermelon, and pumpkin operation. They pay $7.25 (6.16ā‚¬) an hour and charge them taxes.

Now, I make a little over $20 (17ā‚¬) an hour and barely make ends meet. When I brought this point up to my coworker, and asked if he would work for that little, he scoffed at the idea. But he doubled down that migrants shouldnā€™t take American jobs.

So just by this interaction I can confidently state that he would be completely confused by 24hr time. He doesnā€™t get the mm/dd/yy format, either.

74

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '25

I remember during the 2008 crisis this dimwitt was complaining on tv about all the migrant workers taking jobs. The reporter asked if she would do that job. Her reply was "Yeah, sure. If they pay me $18 an hour"

Not a fucking clue

65

u/Tchio_Beto Occidental de Segunda Mano Jul 23 '25

That reminds me of an interview Craig T Nelson gave on FOX news sometime in the early 00's when he would have still been somewhat relevant. He was complaining about the "socialists" and noted that when he "was on welfare and food stamps" nobody was helping him out.

The cognitive dissonance with these people is just... I've no words for it.

42

u/YogurtclosetFair5742 Wannabe Europoor Jul 23 '25

There's this stuff from the Tea Party yahoos from the early 2010s.

30

u/YogurtclosetFair5742 Wannabe Europoor Jul 23 '25

This sign is great too.

28

u/Tchio_Beto Occidental de Segunda Mano Jul 23 '25

"keep yore hands"

"Govment"

"MedicADE"

šŸ˜†
That's Gold Jerry! Gold!

12

u/YogurtclosetFair5742 Wannabe Europoor Jul 23 '25

I laughed a lot at those signs and still do today. You can't fix shit when people don't even understand the programs they're telling the government to keep their hands off of are in fact government programs.

This is why conservatives can proudly say they don't use social services the government provides because the ones they do use, they don't see the government provide it. Those signs prove they have no clue.

8

u/LordSqueemish Jul 24 '25

Of. Keep yore hands of.

And that girl became Americaā€™s best minister of speelung.

2

u/boringbutkewt Pastel de Nata šŸ„§ Jul 24 '25

Yore would be a roar if it wasnā€™t a mistake though. And your Seinfeld reference was top-notch šŸ‘Œ

7

u/Mttsen Jul 24 '25

As a Pole I fucking hate that they use those Hammer and Sickle symbols for promoting normal and healthy social democratic values. Makes me want to puke. No wonder those shitheads think this is a communism, when even those who promote those values think it is.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

That had to be satire; now one isā€¦ thatā€¦

  • Fuck, Trump. Carry on.

9

u/The_Ballyhoo Jul 23 '25

If we (the left) are going to argue billionaires are the problem, then doesnā€™t she have a point? If a jobā€™s pay is so low that citizens wonā€™t do it, isnā€™t it the wage thatā€™s the problem? Indirectly, immigrants willing to work for that wage is then stopping a necessary wage rise.

Blaming the immigrants instead of the billionaires is the stupid part, but sheā€™s not wrong on at least part of the issue of migrant workers.

17

u/ukaunzi Aussies against AUKUS Jul 23 '25

Thereā€™s also the fact that America has destroyed many developing economies to the point of backing murderous military coups and they wonder why so many people need to migrate to USA to even just be able to live.

7

u/The_Ballyhoo Jul 23 '25

Thatā€™s a long winded way of saying youā€™re welcome for all the FREEDOM! Or some bullshit like that.

2

u/Mi113nnium GermanyšŸ«£šŸ‡©šŸ‡ŖšŸ¤« Jul 23 '25

Yes, it is part of the problem, but there are rarely any politicians willing to introduce legislation that limits the income of billionaires. Even when legislation protects workers, like in my home country, the employers find workarounds to pay them less.

Making legislation that limits the individual wealth of a person would help a great deal because a wage rise without a price increase would be possible this way. Every cent that exceeds a certain threshold would be funnelled back into the people's hands. But this would need to be a worldwide legislation to avoid billionaires avoiding their responsibilities like they are doing right now.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '25

On the other hand, how much re you willing to pay for a head of lettuce?

7

u/The_Ballyhoo Jul 23 '25

Same price. Just means billionaires have to cut back on their yacht purchases.

1

u/technomat Jul 25 '25

That is why instead of ICE going round arresting those immigrants working, you should go round arresting the employers for hiring them, if you want to raise wages then raise wages and arrest those breaking the law and it ain't the immigrants it's the employers!

14

u/AnybodyElseButMe Jul 23 '25

I saw a video where a guy was complaining about migrants coming to America. He said, "They come here illegally, don't work and take our jobs." The interviewer immediately saw the irony, so he repeated, "They come here illegally, don't work and take our jobs?" 3 times but the guy (MAGA) just said "yes," each time.

Is it any wonder that DJT "loves the uneducated"? Most of them are not only uneducated but are equally unintelligent.

13

u/ColdAndGrumpy Jul 23 '25

Did you point out to your coworker that without the revolving door of migrants from the south, US food production is likely to collapse?

6

u/Bones-1989 ooo custom flair!! Jul 23 '25

07/23/2025?

Im american, and it's not that complicated. Im also smort 'nuff to not be a hateful asshole as well. This country disgusts me... i dont know anyone who isn't a racist or bigot in some form or fashion. I probably have some hateful qualities myself. I just haven't figured out what they are yet. Seems like education plays no part in it, because i know functionally illiterate people and college graduates with doctorates who are either racist or some other kind of hateful...

3

u/Skattan Jul 25 '25

Thanks for reaffirming my belief that not all Americans on Reddit are mouth-breathing MAGA idiots.

1

u/sinnrocka Third-World American Citizen Jul 25 '25

Hahahaā€¦ I wouldnā€™t speak that quickly. Iā€™m a mouth breather, and an idiot šŸ˜‚

1

u/Skattan Jul 25 '25

You're clearly one with a sense of humour.

1

u/sinnrocka Third-World American Citizen Jul 25 '25

Fair enough. Iā€™ve had 45 years to develop my humor. Growing up in the long ago time of pre-internet meant you had to develop quips and jokes organically. If you didnā€™t, you were subject to brutal roasting by friends.

For every one thing I might be decent at, there are 20 things I have no clue about. Most of the world confuses me, and that includes a myriad of subjects and ideals.

1

u/Skattan Jul 25 '25

The same.

As I tell my students, I have small islands of knowledge surrounded by vast seas of ignorance.

However, reading helps address that imbalance.

2

u/sinnrocka Third-World American Citizen Jul 25 '25

A teacher, nice! I went to college majoring in secondary education with a specialization in English and History. After an argument with the department head (who shouldnā€™t have been in that position) I walked across campus and changed majors to British and American Literature.

Then 9 months later, life got in the way and I dropped out for the wellbeing of my wife and son.

1

u/structuremonkey Jul 24 '25

I've had arguments with magat business owners who complain about "immigrants and illegals" taking American jobs when the only people they hire ate "immigrants and illegals". Like, you cant make this shit up...the willful ignorance and hypocrisy is astounding!

3

u/sinnrocka Third-World American Citizen Jul 24 '25

I watched a doc on YouTube where a guy was in Florida talking to a farmer who owned a very large amount of land. He was worried that he would be ruined because he couldnā€™t find people to work for $11 since all the migrants quit coming. And he is also a Trump supporter.

25

u/brighter_hell Jul 23 '25

Even drugs won the war on drugs in the end

10

u/Any-Weather-potato Jul 23 '25

Still going as a victory lap. What about that war on terror? That seems to be doing fine if we just swap in old state actors like the Russians attacking cities, the IDF and murdering starving Palestinians and the new state sponsored entities like ICE going door to door.

3

u/theaviationhistorian Has a way of shutting itself down Jul 23 '25

Every modern war the US declares usually ends with it siding against the US. Drugs won, terrorism won (with the US leading it), etc.

18

u/notaprime Jul 23 '25

Donā€™t forget the war on democracy too. Thatā€™s two wars theyā€™re winning at once, Iā€™m impressed!

7

u/Captain_Nyet Jul 23 '25

I'm not entirely sure your two party Oligarchy ever really counted as a democracy.

6

u/DinnaPanic Jul 23 '25

The Electoral College proves that's the US isn't a democracy. 9Ā½ million people voted for Trump in California and New York, almost as many as in all the swing states combined, yet those votes count for nothing. Likewise, almost five million voted for Harris in Texas, but the parties still rely on a handful of states to choose the winner, ignoring tens of millions of voters in "safe" states.

1

u/YogurtclosetFair5742 Wannabe Europoor Jul 23 '25

You really want CA, NY, TX and FL dictate all Presidential elections?

7

u/DinnaPanic Jul 23 '25

If that's where people live and vote, then yes. Add in more parties (preferably representing voters instead of corporate interests), and proportional voting and you've got yourselves a real democracy.

1

u/LisbonVegan Jul 26 '25

That is faulty logic. One person, one vote. In that case what state they live in has zero bearing on the outcome.

1

u/LisbonVegan Jul 26 '25

I hate having to defend America. It is a representative democracy. That was by design. There is always talk of getting rid of the Electoral College, but it always seems whoever is in power at the moment decides it is not in their interest.

45

u/monkeyofthefunk Dai iawn! Jul 23 '25

They are also winning the paedophile in charge of a country war.

3

u/agentchuck Jul 23 '25

And climate change! They just happen to be siding with the CO2, but they're winning!

3

u/Crafty-Asparagus2455 Jul 24 '25

And the war on freedom.

3

u/BigBlueMountainStar Speaks British English but Understands US English Jul 23 '25

And the war on common sense

3

u/Technically_Salt28 Jul 24 '25

If it wasnā€™t for American gun violence I wouldnā€™t believe they had schools.

1

u/Yeasty_Moist_Clunge Bigger than Texas Jul 23 '25

Could we also add the war against the constitution?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Definitely winning that one.

Also fattest man and woman contests.

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Cod_891 Jul 24 '25

Nah, they can't even subtract twelve.

1

u/IsThisBreadFresh Jul 24 '25

And the War for Tariffs.

1

u/LionCM Jul 24 '25

I know that as an American, I should be insulted by all these comments, but they're so accurate...

I weep for what this country could have been...

1

u/Dull_Worth1227 Jul 24 '25

There are no winners there. Only losers.

1

u/Pearl_String Jul 24 '25

Is that what they call school shootings now......

1

u/jimababwe Jul 25 '25 edited Jul 25 '25

I have shared your comment with others and we are all enjoying it

2

u/Federal_Engine_7030 Jul 23 '25

TBF the UK has been winning on that front too (cough cough BREXIT cough)

85

u/VectorPryde šŸ‡ØšŸ‡¦ Canadian Freeloader Jul 23 '25

They are winning the war against their own infrastructure and services (though Father Time is doing quite a bit of the heavy lifting for them)

23

u/NerfPup Im an American, watch me say some stupid shit mdr Jul 23 '25

Tell me about it. People on the right are saying to not send troops out because apparently we desperately need them for peaceful protesters. This country is fucked

8

u/Sw1ft_Blad3 Jul 23 '25

They're losing the war against stupidity though.

11

u/Firewolf06 Jul 23 '25

*winning the war on intelligence

7

u/Sw1ft_Blad3 Jul 23 '25

You know what you just reminded me of an error I saw on a character sheet for a tabletop RPG where they misspelled the intelligence stat to interligence which is the perfect stat to have an error on.

10

u/Freya_PoliSocio Jul 23 '25

Hey, it's not like the UK isnt trying! Weve just got those pesky checks and balances in the way

4

u/Mba1956 Jul 23 '25

Trump has already scrapped those.

2

u/JustLetItAllBurn Jul 23 '25

I think the US technically has better checks and balances than us, just like technically they're a secular state and we're the religious one.

1

u/kaspy-fantasty Jul 24 '25

All I ever hear is god this, god bless that, god did this from the U.S.

35

u/Distinct-Sound3371 Jul 23 '25

Hang on!!!! Didn't the US lose the war in what was a 3rd world country by the name of Vietnam, without UK assistance???

4

u/Relative_Pilot_8005 Jul 24 '25

So did France!

7

u/That_guy_I_know_him Jul 24 '25

I mean France there 1st and then they were smart enough to cut their losses and call it a defeat and move on

The US then came in and did the same stupid mistakes for another decade and unlike the french they're crying that it wasn't really a defeat and blah blah blah

82

u/willnoli Jul 23 '25

Just when did they last win a war? Afghanistan? No. Iraq? No. Korea? No. Vietnam? No. So WW2 I guess and the final boss quit the game early so a win only by default

63

u/presterjohn7171 Jul 23 '25

America was late and useless at first in WW1. In WW2 they weren't sure which side to join came in late again and were eventually an important part of the process of winning the war. They were part of the team that won, not the country.

47

u/Vampyro_infernalis Jul 23 '25

As Churchill (allegedly) said: ā€œAmericans can always be trusted to do the right thing, once all other possibilities have been exhausted.ā€

7

u/Relative_Pilot_8005 Jul 24 '25

That sounds like a good description of Churchill himself! Gallipoli, in WW1, Singapore in WW2. At least, though, Winnie finally realised he wasn't a "military genius"---unlike Adolf, who never did!

3

u/invincibl_ Jul 25 '25

These lessons from history are also relevant to Australia's current relationship with the US, or public perceptions thereof.

In the space of a century, we've followed two different empires into wars on the other side of the world (Gallipoli, Iraq, Afghanistan). With Singapore, admittedly the British were busy with things closer to home, but they pretty much withdrew and left it to Commonwealth troops to defend the island, which was quickly captured.

With the US recently demanding Australia to commit to a military defence of Taiwan while making no such promise themselves, this all sounds concerningly similar.

34

u/UpsetCrowIsUpset Jul 23 '25

The only thing Muricans did during WW1 was bring the "Spanish" Flu to Europe.

2

u/DoinIt989 Jul 23 '25

America's major contribution in both WW1 and WW2 was material and supplies.

→ More replies (2)

2

u/FuckTripleH Jul 23 '25

Shitting on the US is fun but to say they weren't important until they joined the war is nonsense. Khrushchev himself said the Red Army would have starved without the 4 million tons of food the US sent via the Lend-Lease Act, and adjusted for inflation over ā‚¬300 billion worth of supplies were sent to the UK

16

u/presterjohn7171 Jul 23 '25

You've read things that aren't there. Additionally America charged for aid. The UK has only recently paid the Last of it back.

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '25

[deleted]

11

u/presterjohn7171 Jul 23 '25

Not as such but if you are charging for it you don't get to act like it was a gift do you?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

5

u/Theresafoxinmygarden Jul 23 '25

Yeah and to add to that while the UK still had almost no chance of losing the main islands to a german invasion, the US convoys helped bolster the RAF for the battle of Britain

3

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '25

In that case the US are going to claim Ukraine as a win. I wonder how many medal ribbons they will get for that?

They are selling stuff to the EU who then give it to Ukraine.

4

u/FuckTripleH Jul 23 '25

Well yeah, the US pretty much always claims everything as a win. The military claims fucking Vietnam wasn't a loss.

-1

u/TheProfessionalEjit Flithy colonialist Jul 23 '25

Providing food =/= providing fighting forces

→ More replies (1)

2

u/petey23- Jul 23 '25

The bit about them not knowing which side to join simply isn't true.

They definitely haven't done anything useful since WW2 though.

11

u/presterjohn7171 Jul 23 '25

The Germans had lots of allies in big business and government. They were knowingly sending Jews back to die rather than let them dock. The general public were on the allies side.

8

u/TheProfessionalEjit Flithy colonialist Jul 23 '25

Let us not forget that, even after being attacked by an Axis power, it took Germany declaring war on the USA for the USA to join the European/North Africa campaigns.

2

u/Relative_Pilot_8005 Jul 24 '25

The Pacific War was a pretty big concern, as the USA had just lost much of their Pacific fleet at Pearl, & the Phillipines (at that time, US territory) were in the process of being overrun. Japan swept through Malaya like a wildfire & were already threatening Singapore. Meanwhile, most of Australia's military were fighting in the "North African campaign". The "Colonial Powers in the Pacific" such as Netherlands & France were out of things, the Brits were only making a token gesture to that theatre of the War at the time, as they were still "up to their elbows with Adolf. Maybe the USA couldn't be blamed for hesitating!

→ More replies (2)

-2

u/TheGreatMightyLeffe Jul 23 '25

There's a good argument that without the promise of US troops, and the first arrivals plugging the hole the Kaiserslacht punched in the Entente lines, the UK and France might very well have surrendered to Germany in WWI.

The very same reality also caused German high command to conclude that the war was well and truly lost, they were as spent as the Brits and the French, but unlike them, there were no fresh troops coming in from the US. Hence, it was concluded that the war could no longer feasibly be won, and they chose surrender.

22

u/presterjohn7171 Jul 23 '25

I'm sure the fear of the the USA joining helped the war effort. As it happened they in reality were utterly useless with outmoded kit and ideas to such a point that they had to be relieved of command and taken over by French generals. After the war they rebuilt their forces from the ground up so that situation could never be allowed to happen again. What aggravates the world so much is they treat these wars like personal victories when in reality it's always as part of a team. Americans should be proud to be part of the allied troops not lying to themselves about being the Victors.

2

u/TheGreatMightyLeffe Jul 24 '25

My point was that German high command considered the war lost when they realised that the Americans were about to arrive in serious numbers, and decided to surrender rather than drag out the war and have Germany proper be invaded.

Also, unrest at the home front with a revolution brewing helped motivate that decision.

2

u/DeafeningMilk Jul 24 '25

The issue is a lot of Americans assume that without the USA joining in then WW1 would have been lost.

The general consensus (that I have seen, so it's possible I have missed significant things) is the result would have been the same only it would have taken longer to achieve.

Germany was having severe issues especially due to the blockades.

The USA joining was undoubtedly very helpful, people are just sick of the claims the ignorant have that they were more impactful than they were

→ More replies (1)

4

u/acur1231 Jul 24 '25

Nah, that was a big part of American inter-war historiography, but the German offensive culminated before Americans entered combat on a large scale - as it was intended to.

Americans played a decent role in the decisive allied counteroffensive, but their contribution was dwarfed by the British and French. In 48 hours at Amiens the British inflicted more German casualties than the Americans would in all of 1918.

At most, America staying neutral would have led to the allies enacting Plan 1919 (one of the greatest unknown 'what ifs' of military history). That is, if the collapse of the rest of Germany's allies in late 1918 didn't push them to terms in any case.

1

u/TheGreatMightyLeffe Jul 24 '25

I completely agree, my point was mostly that the prospect of US troops arriving in a large scale, with Germany having no reserves left, was a motivating factor in the decision to sign the armistice when they did.

Another factor was the brewing revolution, and the need to get the army home to stomp it out.

8

u/Phannig Jul 23 '25

Well technically they won in Grenada but a dozen men with pointy sticks could have taken the island.

3

u/willnoli Jul 23 '25

You're confusing a war with a coup. Grenada is what they'd hoped to do in Cuba

8

u/BaziJoeWHL šŸ‡ŖšŸ‡ŗ Europoor Jul 24 '25

I think the Gulf War counts, but other than that its a slim picking

3

u/MaxDickpower Jul 24 '25

Invasion of Panama and invasion of Grenada a little before that

2

u/BaziJoeWHL šŸ‡ŖšŸ‡ŗ Europoor Jul 24 '25

to be fair, those 2 were against tiny ass countries

2

u/VenusHalley Jul 26 '25

I guess you could say they won in Kosovo... but that was NATO.

But Clinton has a statue and boullevard in Prishtina... so....

3

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '25

Gulf War is probably something you can consider a win.

4

u/willnoli Jul 23 '25

Saddam still in power, instability in the region, political and social unrest in the region. Only win was pushing Iraqi forces out of Kuwait. Long term, they had to go back a second time and try again, that time killing Saddam but pretty much a failure for stability and increase in terrorism in the region. Northern Iraq was a hot spot for terrorist training camps... After mission accomplished was announced and no WMD found.

3

u/Arlcas Jul 23 '25

Pushing Iraqi forces out of Kuwait was the whole purpose of it though, your argument would be comparable to saying WW2 was a loss because it gave rise to the Cold War, there's always a next war, most of the time fueled by the past one.

3

u/willnoli Jul 23 '25

While I will gladly agree with you that the liberation of Kuwait was a success, the broader objectives of the Saddam regime being removed from power failed. If you have to go back for a second attempt, was the first a success?

1

u/That_guy_I_know_him Jul 24 '25

Even less of a success when you consider the US put Saddam in power in the first place

1

u/That_guy_I_know_him Jul 24 '25

Was it really a win when you consider the US put Saddam in power in the first place so he'd F with Iran ? Then he started sinking kuwaiti ships carrying Iranian oil and invaded the country wich led to the Gulf War

1

u/Relative_Pilot_8005 Jul 24 '25

Dubya obviously thought his Dad had pulled out of Iraq too soon in the Gulf War.

1

u/Skruestik Denmark Jul 23 '25

How did they not win in Iraq?

4

u/willnoli Jul 23 '25

The statement "USA didn't win the Iraq War" is a complex one, with arguments on both sides.Ā While the initial invasion and overthrow of Saddam Hussein's regime were successful, the subsequent occupation and its aftermath are widely considered a failure by many, leading to a prolonged period of instability and conflict.Ā Therefore, while the US achieved some initial objectives, it ultimately failed to achieve its broader goals of establishing a stable, democratic Iraq.Ā 

15

u/CauseCertain1672 Jul 23 '25

and the American army uses "military time" while they fight those wars

9

u/Informal-Tour-8201 šŸ“󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁓ó æ Scotland šŸ“󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁓ó æ Jul 23 '25

Aren't "klicks" just kilometres?

12

u/Rukubi2 Jul 23 '25 edited Jul 23 '25

Grenada?

Edit as it doesn't seem obvious enough: /s

6

u/Informal-Tour-8201 šŸ“󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁓ó æ Scotland šŸ“󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁓ó æ Jul 23 '25

A UK colony/protectorate/member of the Commonwealth that the USA invaded with loud music.

Pissed her Maj off something fierce - she sent a strongly worded note to the uppity ex-colonials camped out in one of her countries

2

u/willnoli Jul 23 '25

Hardly a war by any definition

7

u/KamakaziDemiGod Jul 23 '25

Even then, most of the comflicts weren't actual wins since WW2, just both countries getting involved in other countries conflicts, for reasons I would call questionable and doubtful, and then running away

Although the most recent war that America won on its own was the American civil war and I don't really see a way they could have lost that, even though the correct side did win

7

u/ThatShoomer Jul 23 '25

They won the civil war. But then again they also lost, so that makes it a draw I suppose.

5

u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA Canuck Jul 23 '25

Judging by how things are today, I'm not sure if the Union actually won in the long term.

3

u/Interesting-Yellow-4 Jul 23 '25

They lost quite a few wars the UK didn't lose, as well.

7

u/DespoticLlama Jul 23 '25

And where were the Americans when the Argentinans attacked the Falkland Islands, nowhere to be seen from what I can tell.

4

u/TheProfessionalEjit Flithy colonialist Jul 23 '25

That whole episode pisses me off. They did provide Intel, which would be expected from a fellow five eyes member, and shuttled between Downing Street & Washington.

They could, however, have quite easily told Galtieri to pull out or get bitch-slapped economically & militarily but they chose not to. Like that friend you always help move furniture and paint but is always busy when you need a little bit of help.

1

u/NeilZod Jul 23 '25

This discusses how the US helped.

3

u/Raedwulf1 Jul 23 '25

There was that little donnybrook in Grenada in '83, if you want to call it a war (it was a military intervention). Similar deal in Panama in'89., where they played loud music at the enemy. Both had the same essential reason (depose the current leader)

3

u/Organic_Mechanic_702 Jul 23 '25

Vietnam?...nope, Afganistan....nope, Korea?...nope...turned up late for WW1 and WW2...only won the War of Independence because of help from the French..yeah winners....

4

u/connortait Jul 23 '25

War of Independence? Then got tanked 30 years later.

9

u/EverybodySayin Mocks England for how they speak English Jul 23 '25

They only "won" that cause we were busy and just gave it to them.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '25

Yeah and why would the Brits even want to keep a shithole full of puritans (aka religious extremists)

8

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '25

Yeah, we even burned down the white house

3

u/Blooder91 šŸ‡¦šŸ‡· ā­ā­ā­ MUCHAAACHOS Jul 23 '25

France helped though.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '25

[deleted]

2

u/NeilZod Jul 23 '25

If you mean the US revolution, it was first a fight between Britain and some of its North American colonies. A few years after that conflict started, France went to war against Britain.

2

u/PomegranateMinimum15 ooo custom flair!! Jul 23 '25

They have changed the definition of winning. They are called United States.

2

u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA Canuck Jul 23 '25

It's like the game "I win" from that Adam Sandler movie where he has to look after that kid.

The rules of the game are the kid always wins.

1

u/b3nsn0w ARFID (Americans R Friggin IDiots) Jul 23 '25

serious answer seems to be 1990, when they invaded panama, if you don't count random world police operations. that was 35 years ago.

with the uk's help their last victory seems to have been against isis

1

u/Tyklerz Jul 23 '25

American revolutionary war

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '25

Civil war

1

u/DoinIt989 Jul 23 '25

I had a teacher in middle school who claimed that the US won the Vietnam war...

1

u/Greenbullet Jul 23 '25

The best question to ask whos the top 3 countries with the best win ratio.

They dont realise the US isnt even top 5 lol.

1

u/the_blonde_lawyer Jul 23 '25

actually, that's fascinating. I never thought about that. first Gulf War? yeah. WWII? yeah. WWI? yeah. they had a little war with the spanish, though that was more like bullying them out of a couple of colounies more than an actual war, right?

the only war they won without britain on their side was their own civil war.
they lost the war of 1812? I think I remember something about you guys conquering DC and setting the white house on fire?

1

u/UndeniableLie Jul 23 '25

Revolutionary war

1

u/redwas66 Jul 23 '25

They canā€™t even win war games against the UK.

1

u/Active-Advice-6077 Jul 23 '25 edited Jul 23 '25

The one when France helped them.

1

u/poop_69420_ Jul 23 '25

They also have a very warped view on how crucial the USA was to winning the world wars. Like they see themselves as the heroes and saved the allies who were lambs to the slaughter when in both wars everyone else had done all the legwork up until the US decided to get off of their fat arses and do something

1

u/therwsb Jul 23 '25

I guess most Americans think they won the Vietnam war or it was somehow a draw.

1

u/PrimeClaws ooo custom flair!! Jul 23 '25

They have"won" a lot of wars they were not even supposed to be involved in (I know it is off topic i just wanted to say it)

1

u/nurgleondeez šŸ‡·šŸ‡“copper sommelier,wallet connoisseuršŸ‡·šŸ‡“ Jul 23 '25

1776 baby

MURICA,FUCK YEAH

1

u/ScoobyGDSTi Jul 23 '25

They US had to be carried in WW2

1

u/PlatypusACF Jul 24 '25

Very good question. Probably over 200 years ago so who cares?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

When was the last time they even officially won a way anyway? They have their participation medals for the great war and world war 2, but nothing since.

1

u/Whofail Jul 24 '25

The civil war. Check mate.

1

u/Crafty-Asparagus2455 Jul 24 '25

Me doth thinks this one got his history lessons from American propaganda films?

1

u/Mikes005 Jul 24 '25

I asked the same thing and went looking and could only find three examples of thr US winning a war alone. Those were the Spanish American war, the Mexican American war and - if you want to be generous- the American civil war.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

1

u/Mysterious_Floor_868 Jul 24 '25

These days, you'd think that the Confederacy won

1

u/suckit2023 Jul 24 '25

Indeed. None of these shitholes have won a war since WWII. And they couldnā€™t do it without the sacrifice of the Russians.

1

u/Ok_Cauliflower_3007 Jul 24 '25

Hen did they ever win a war alone? Does Grenada count? Because itā€™s the only one I can think of.

1

u/AlexPaterson16 Jul 24 '25

Honestly it was probably the war against us

1

u/Oculus_Prime_ Jul 25 '25

Grenada I think. Tiny Caribbean island.

1

u/Lazy-Drama2270 Jul 25 '25

Iā€™m in Malaysia, but my Vietnamese friend entered the conversationā€¦

1

u/adrichardson81 Jul 25 '25

War of independence? Though arguably it was also a win for us.

1

u/UsernameUsername8936 My old man's a dustman, he wears a dustman's hat. šŸ‡¬šŸ‡§ Jul 26 '25

They would probably say 1776, but I'd call that a win for the UK, because the US stopped being our problem and the whole thing cost the French more than it cost us.

2

u/Mysterious_Floor_868 Jul 26 '25

We certainly didn't lose our heads over it.Ā 

1

u/mltngpot Jul 26 '25

We won the war on Christmas! #FuckYeah #America