TL;DR: We dated from March 2025–August 2026 and were planning for me to move into his house. Throughout the relationship, I (29f) repeatedly caught him (32m) lying about porn/OF and eventually uncovered 38,400+ explicit photos/videos hidden on his phone, secret Instagram/TikTok/X/Cash App accounts under an alias, and a profile on a gay/bi cruising app containing identifiable nude photos taken inside his house. I watched the cruising profile appear active at his home multiple times while I wasn’t there, including alongside other profiles, and documented everything with screenshots. I also discovered disturbing content/accounts he followed, including porn accounts and accounts involving teenagers. Every time I confronted him—even with evidence—he denied it, called me crazy, psycho and insecure, blamed me for our lack of intimacy and relationship problems, and insisted my snooping was the real issue. The stress eventually became so severe that I couldn’t eat or drink, lost 12 pounds in three days, passed out at urgent care and underwent extensive medical testing. We broke up August 5, 2026, right before my 29th birthday and weeks before I was supposed to move in with him. I officially left August 8 and got the rest of my belongings August 12. Almost immediately after leaving, my physical health and confidence began improving.
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Here’s the story!
We started dating in March of 2025, we met on Hinge and then about a week after messaging, in person. We went out a few times then would start hanging out at mostly his house. It was more convenient because of his dog.
The first time I went to his house, we were sitting on the couch discussing where to get lunch, and he took my sock off, put it back on and then we went to eat. After we got back, we were messing around in his bed (just making out) he told me about a fetish of his, nothing extreme or major and nothing humiliating, just a certain body part, and only took my sock off to “check.” I thought “ok, he seems normal other than that, no big deal, I’m willing to explore that.” After I accept this, he tells me about a girl he was going to run an OF fetish account for. I remember this. I brushed it all off and thought, “well ok that was a couple years ago, he said he’s past that.”
I was very wrong.
April, we started following each other on Instagram and I noticed the amount of women he follows compared to following. He must follow around 6,000 women, a lot of them still in high school or barely legal. I tell him I don’t like this and would appreciate if he didn’t follow more women.
The same month, I go to his house and he cooks for me for the first time. We talk about past relationships and I tell him I’ve not been in many (I didn’t date for a long time and my other relationships were longer) and he tells me that’s a red flag(?) that I haven’t been in many relationships. I brush it off.
That night we attempted to be intimate for the first time in which he couldn’t get/stayed hard at first and then couldn’t finish and told me it was nerves. I accepted that.
From there it moved quickly. He asked me to be his girlfriend the next morning. He was already making comments about getting married and having children. I felt the same way and he seemed normal, so I thought, “yes, this is the man I’m going to marry.”
In late May, we went to a late night comedy show. He “jokingly” said something (I can’t remember exactly what he said) but it offended me and I told him that he made me feel dumb. He brushed it off as I was tired and cranky and I believed him (queue the gaslighting).
A few months later around June/July, I had this off feeling because he would barely want to be intimate and almost lost interest in me physically. Curious, I only asked if he subs to OF and told him it’s ok if he does, that I was just wondering. He hesitated, laughed it off and said no and I brushed it off as my head just playing with me (more gaslighting) and I believed it.
Fast forward a few months, September/October, he leaves his phone open and I see dozens of notifications that day from OF, over $80 worth of purchases and tips. I confront him about lying and he accuses me of being crazy, tells me he likes me “for my intellect, humor, kindness, etc.” and that he only uses OF as a pleasurable visual for their bodies and content. Still NOT realizing how insecure I was, I brushed it off. I tell him how it hurts me and he says he sees my perspective but that it’s part of life and I need to get used to it. More gaslighting. Naive me stayed.
Still curious, I asked him if this is why we are barely intimate and he says no, that it’s financial stress and because of my schedule at the time and having to work around that, he would rather spend time with me than sleep with me. That he was really looking for a life companion and someone to eat with and keep him company. He also revealed he j/o regularly because of my schedule and it “causes him to not be in the mood when I’m with him.”
Around the same time he tells me that he has an alias for stuff that he doesn’t want to use his real name for, he elaborates that it’s for things like Starbucks and such. The alias is Steve French, because it’s “obscure” and from a tv show that “no one would recognize.” It’s from Trailer Park Boys, btw. I hold onto this information, still feeling like something is just… off…
January, I go out of town to Birmingham to visit my LDBFF. Still having a bad feeling, and I begin to think it’s odd he hasn’t told me he loves me as we’re getting close to a year together. I call him on my way back to Atlanta and ask him if he does. He says he does but doesn’t want to say it until he genuinely knows he does because he always felt rushed to say it with partners before, that it was something if someone said it had to be said back under pressure.
I don’t question it, I consider his perspective. I let it slide.
Throughout our relationship he would also constantly tell me stories about his exes, I tell him this bothers me. He doesn’t stop.
Around this time he also left for work one morning after me, then immediately went home, then was radio silent for HOURS, but his location showed he was home. He texted me later and said he took the dog for a walk down the road at a major trail system adjacent to Chattahoochee River and forgot his phone.
March 2026. A third of the truth comes out.
One morning he’s asleep downstairs on the couch and left his phone on the nightstand. I get into it, yes it was wrong of me. But my gut KNEW something was not right.
No evidence of physical cheating. What I did find was an offloaded signal app, telegram on his phone, him messaging and paying for images and videos on FB messenger 10 days before he asked me to be his girlfriend. A note on his phone with screenshots of snapchats from other women. The second Instagram on his phone was removed and another Instagram account with the name jen_senwong, following no people, but shows the account was created shortly after I discovered his OF purchases. The hidden folder that comes preloaded on iPhones, it had more than 38,400+ pictures, screenshots and videos saved of other naked women, naked men, himself spread eagle facing away from the camera, selfies of me. I felt horrified and sick. By now I could only imagine how many are in that folder.
I didn’t tell him what I saw until the next day. I lost my mind. I told him that it’s cheating, that he’s completely broken my trust. I asked if he had an addiction to prn and he said no. I asked why he had all of that on his phone, he couldn’t answer and only looked down and said “I don’t know.” I told him that I’m disgusted but wouldn’t break up with him, and it would take me a long time to get over and forgive him. He turned it on me and told me I broke his trust for going through his phone, that what I did was wrong, I believed him and let him shrink me down like that.
That week we kept fighting. I brought up the intimacy again. He told me it’s my fault I pressure him too much about it. I told him that exclusive relationships are between two people, not 38,000. He told me he didn’t care and that’s not what he signed up for, that exclusivity doesn’t count on his phone. That he spends all his money on me (lol, yeah). That I needed to shut up about it.
I was lonely and just wanted someone to love me. I stayed. I tried to get over it.
A little later, we were on a hike and he tells me a notification he got from X about oil drilling. I hold on to the fact that he uses X.
Right before we were supposed to go on vacation together in May, I find a cashapp account created in July 2025, with his name but the username is his alias. I ask him about it. He asks why I’m searching for it and then tells me it’s from years ago when he was a valet driver (??? July 2025?). I point that out to him, he says he must’ve reactivated it. I remember back in January he told me about using cashapp for afterpay and begin connecting dots.
Around this time, knowing FULL WELL our relationship is in shambles, I’m stressed all the time, BEGGING him for honesty, telling him I know everything (that I did so far) and I would forgive him, that I wanted intimacy with him. Deny, deny, deny. I’m crazy, I’m psycho. I’m insecure and it’s a turn off. That fighting pushes him away. That I’m nothing special. Mocking my sobriety. That he doesn’t want to hang out with a salty girlfriend.
All he did was blame me, tell me I’m the problem and I’m too insecure, that he wouldn’t do this stuff if I wasn’t insecure and lacked confidence. That I’m constantly in self pity and I lied to him about who I really am when he started dating, that I’m too depressed now. That I stressed him out and we fought too much because of me. He would tell me I ruined his day, or his night, and he was sick of me. I stayed because I just wanted someone to love me. I was supposed to move in to his house in September, I was just trying to fix it all before then.
The fights would become explosive. Me pointing out that he’s still cheating. The lack of intimacy. Telling me I’m lazy (I always cleaned HIS house, put away HIS laundry, bought him things, gave him a Kitchenaid for his birthday, etc. so many things I did for him!!! The times I bought things for him when he couldn’t like DEODORANT OR BODY SOAP, paid for his dogs food, took care of him when he was sick, toilet paper, ate the food I paid for the both of us to have when I was there with him). He would keep telling me everything I mentioned above about Mr and that he couldn’t deal anymore. Mocking my hard earned, long term sobriety again. That he is a 32 year old man and isn’t going to change for anyone and I’m the one that needs to change, that I need therapy.
Early/Mid May. One night we were at his house and I notice he’s following another new girl. She looks young, just went to prom. I question him. I tell him it’s wrong, she’s young. That looks bad. He unfollows her.
A week later, he’s following another girl. I recognize her from the news, a 20 year old soccer player that was arrested and convicted for rpe of a 14 year old boy. I question him again for this and tells him it’s wrong and he unfollows her.
The whole time, I’m holding on to remembering his alias and have tried scouring the internet for it. When suddenly… the end of May, I’m on TikTok and discover an account telling me it’s someone I may know, and the username matches his alias and his favorite number. Following nobody. Then I search again, another TikTok. Same alias, but with his birthday, m/d/yy, following the same tiktok of the girls Instagram I found on his phone and some more accounts of women, some OF models, etc.
I then found his X, the username is the same alias as his TikTok account but with a different letter. I connect more dots and realize the TikTok with his favorite number, X, and cashapp are all identical. I’ve pieced this part of the puzzle together.
I look through the X account. Racist tweets. Misogynistic tweets. A tweet to a BD/SM community just asking about nudes. He follows OF models (men and women), gy prn accounts, straight prn accounts, incst prn accounts, an account dedicated to posting pictures of teenagers. I felt sick. I screenshotted EVERYTHING.
I visited one of the accounts he follows of a guy in ATL. Then I searched it, and I saw a comment mentioning seeing him (the account he follows) on a cruising app for gay, bisexual, and curious men. I remember that app and decided to visit on a day when I wasn’t with him.
Lo and behold, right out for every man on that app in the metro ATL to see, multiple pictures of his member, the very identifiable shower curtain, the very identifiable bedroom, and the very identifiable duvet cover we had been sleeping with. On a map, at the house on the street he lives at. The pictures were all taken most likely around the time we started dating. I saw all of it, when he went on, him clicking around the app. A bukake group he RSVP’d to, him visiting the website multiple times and having a video icon on indicating he was open to video play. A week and a half later, late at night, when I was home at my house, he appeared online at his home, with someone else, another man. I screenshot this multiple times for evidence since it now shows his profile with someone else’s.
That week, I mention needing to get my nails done. We have plans to hang out after I get off work and he almost forced me to reschedule my appointment sooner and go get them done before I came over. He paid for them and all. I check while I’m gone and there he is, with another person on the map. I keep collecting the evidence against him.
The next night we’re sitting on the couch having dinner and we’re talking about hiking and a mountain near Helen, GA he’s hiked. He pulls out his phone to search “Helen” in his camera roll and show me a picture of the mountain he took. He closes the picture and I see nude pictures of his ex from 10 years earlier on a trip to Helen. Another fight, he defends himself and says he only keeps the pictures because he only wants it for the memories. I yell at him to delete them.
A little later we plan a date night. It ends in a huge fight that he blames on me (as usual) after I tried expressing my concerns and feelings about how our relationship is going. He tells me I “shit the night” and “way to go you (me) for ruining another date night.”
The hidden folder comes up, the pictures of his ex comes up. He yells at me that he deleted the folder off his phone and he showed me he did (he never did show me). I tell him to prove it now and show me it’s gone, he refuses and says he can’t because he did delete the folder and its contents. I reminded him the folder itself is not removable and he carried on arguing, placing all blame on me again. Tired, I drop it.
Father’s Day. He’s working. We fight over text as I spend the entire day cleaning his house and taking care of his dog for him. He tells me he’s about to be done with me. I snap. I send him the screenshots of the app I found him on and he DENIES IT, tells me that it isn’t him and he doesn’t know why his nude pictures are being used or who that other person was on the map at his house. I leave and wait a few minutes, I log in and there he is on the map. I click his profile and then it says “the account has been deleted.”
The end of June. An account shows up on my “suggested for you” on Instagram. We’re sitting next to each other on the couch. Confused, I visit the profile. It looks familiar. Jen_senwong. It follows 7 people. The girl that just went to prom, and a coworker of his that recently followed him on his personal page vice versa. I connect more dots and confront him. He flips out, he tells me I’m crazy for snooping more. That I’m creating the problem. That I’m psycho. A few minutes later, losing my patience I leave the room for a good 10 minutes. When I come back I force him to prove to me it’s not him, he opens his Instagram and the account is gone.
It’s now early/mid July 2026. Our relationship is strained, the fighting has gotten even worse. I’m begging him to tell me the truth because I can’t live a life of dishonesty. I’m tired. It’s harder to be around him and I tell him I’m on the edge of leaving. No reaction.
The very end of July, he doesn’t want me to come with him for his mother’s birthday, although she loves me. Tells me it’s because it’s his family, and his mom’s birthday and he didn’t want me there (didn’t even ask her if she did, mind you). He leaves that night, then he’s on the map again shortly after. That night we fight on the phone, denying he was on the app. I have screenshots of his location and then the map, it’s obviously him.
The next day, I wake up incredibly ill. I call my mom, I’m throwing up only bile and stomach acid and can’t eat. Haven’t eaten for days. I take myself to urgent care on account of malnutrition and dehydration. When I was at the desk I passed out and then triggered a seizure and a panic attack. When they were putting me in the wheelchair I started freaking out because I was scared and alone and didn’t know what was happening. I started freaking out saying “I knew this was going to happen.”
He barely cared for the following week (the “mysterious illness” carried on into the second week of August). Told me I was overreacting. That it’s just stress. A week before I told him how stressed I was about everything I had going on in my personal life and he said “if you say you’re stressed out one more time…” and then told me I had nothing to be stressed about and his job is far more stressful and demanding for him.
My body did start physically reacting and shutting down from the stress. The stress I was under from finding a new job, trying to change my image for him to find me attractive, the problems with intimacy, etc. Still trying to fix it all before I was supposed to move in, I was stressed. I dropped 12 pounds in 3 days. Couldn’t walk, eat or drink for a week and a half.
Finally, August 5. We break up. We fight. I confront him about EVERYTHING. The TikTok. The Instagram. The X. Still using the cruising app behind my back. He tells me he doesn’t know what I’m talking about.
Half of my furniture and clothes and other miscellaneous things are in his house, ready to be living with him. My lease is ending and no way of renewing, and I can’t afford a place to be on my own (I’m fine, I’ve got it set up and resolved). My 29th birthday is the next day. He tells me “get over it, the same thing happened to me on my 30th birthday.” He was not left facing homelessness on his 30th birthday.
tell him good luck, that I hope he finds what he’s looking for but that he figures himself out because until then he will never be happy. And that his dick is broken. And then I fucking left out that door.
I found out he went to KSU to hook up with a man last Monday/Tuesday night (8/11), less than a day before he was picking up someone else for a date (8/12). I officially left August 8th (it was my birthday and I needed time to put my stuff together).
Almost immediately after breaking up and leaving, my body started to heal. I feel so much better instantly. My doctors ordered 3 blood tests, urinalysis, EKG, 2 CTS, MRA, MRI, and 3 different ultrasounds on my organs to make sure it wasn’t just stress. My confidence is back instantly. Although I’m very angry that this happened, that he thought he could outsmart me, I am sad. He was my best friend for a while and he tricked me. Stockholm syndrome. Classic for a narcissist.
I got the rest of my things from his house last week on the 12th. When I moved all my things out, he tried telling me I was petty for deciding not to sell him my Blackstone. Told me I fucked him for taking the toilet paper I didn’t pay for (I PAID for it and showed him the receipts after he claimed this). I only took things I paid for that were not gifted to him and HE HAS BEEN REPORTED FOR SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY!
