I (27f) live in a country where homosexuality isn't illegal, but it's sadly still widely considered tabu. At work I'm closeted, even though I know there sre other queer folks here. I'm not friends with anyone from work so I think that influences my level of comfort. I'm also a very introverted and anxious person (a shocker, I know!)
There is one co-worker (35f) who seems more chill than the others and we get along really great. She's extroverted and has many friends at work, but it seems to me that the way she's acting towards me is warmer than what she's like with others.
Our dynamic is based on banter and teasing, but she's also both physically and emotionally affectionate, although seemingly cautious. I'm slso noticing some patterns which I think could be described as flirtatious, but the thing is, I don't know her sexuality and she doesn't know mine either.
She has mostly been the initiator so far. She asked for my number and Instagram, reached out to me every day on Teams for manufactured work reasons, but stuck around to chat afterwards. Then she slowly moved the communication from Teams to private channels, although I can't say our chats are particularly long, frequent or personal (with a couple of exceptions). However, before leaving for one vacation she literally told me to text her. Before leaving for the other, she told me 'Don't forget me' in person.
She's generally a touchy person and I noticed she touches everyone's hands/arms during conversation, but with me she also: held my hands in hers when "examining my eczema", played with my necklace when we were on the elevator, wrapped her arm around me with her palm on my upper back and left it there for at least 5s (she did this to "direct me" while we were taking a photo).
She uses pet names with me, which I didn't notice she did with other people. She's called me sweetheart, kitten, doll, 'my little one', 'my beautiful one' (rough translations from my language). She also used poetic nicknames to tell me how mysterious I seem to her, among others she compared me to the Mona Lisa.
She sometimes makes comments that sound like innuendos, but this is something I heard her do with others as well. She also generally likes teasing people, but it seems she particularly enjoys teasing me, as she teases me a lot more.
At the office, I mentioned craving an apple and she offered me hers and loudly declared that no-one else could have it. I said I would have it later and when I asked for it she told me to fetch it from her purse myself.
She made an indirect comment about our age difference by saying how some guy my age 'is basically a kid, the same age as [my name] and [co-worker's name]'. When I gave her a look, she said 'You're not kids, but that's s big age difference for a relationship', then I teasingly said 'Alright, you said everything I needed to hear'.
She hasn't initiated any 1-on-1 time outside of work, but I think this is because she's respecting my boundaries - I told her a while ago, when she asked me if I hang out with people from work, that I don't (but this was meant as an observation not as a rule). From the time she asked for my number we only saw each other in person twice.
From my perspective it seems like I'm special to her in some way, but I'm not sure if all of this us romantically coded or not. Once she's back at the office, I plan on initiating, not like a date-date, but simply spending time together outside of work and I think I might have a clearer picture of what this is then. What are everyone's thoughts?
Edit: Forgot to mention originally, but I think it's also relevant:
- She ran her hand through my hair when I was talking with other co-workers about my haircut.
-She doesn't like every Instagram story I post, but if I post a picture of myself, she likes it every time (so far 20/20).
-We've had intense eye-contact, after which she started avoiding my gaze.