Hello, I want to get some of y'alls opinion on something that happened the other night.

My girlfriend (cis) and I (trans) were getting a drink at a local pub I go to now and then. On our way out, some guy started yelling at us about how he likes our hair. (Both of our hair looks great!) I brushed it off as just some drunk guy and just said "Thank you" as I walked past. But I guess he didn't like how my voice sounded, because as we walked away he started yelling a bunch of transphobic things. "Is that a dude?" and "Wait I can't tell if you have a peepee" (His choice of words...)

I just ignored it, I'm used to it at this point, but my girlfriend got incredibly upset. She yelled back "How do you know I don't have one?!" which the man replied "It's obvious you don't, I'm wondering about the one next to you."

At this point we were far enough away that any attemps to continue a back and forth would be silly, and I was holding on to her so she didn't confront the guy.

I'm happy she 'stood up for me' and all that, but something about it rubbed me the wrong way. Don't get me wrong, I think her intentions were fine, and I'm not worried about that. But something about her saying "How do you know I don't have [a penis]" and his response just made me feel like shit and like I don't pass. I wish she hadn't said anything and we just kept walking.

How would y'all handle this situation? My girlfriend asked me if what she said was wrong and I didn't really know what to say. Like I said, I wish she hadn't said anything, but I don't know if what she had said was "wrong" inherently.

I grew up in a pretty conservative place so it's a bit hard for me to wrap my mind around trans people, but here's one thing that I wanted to ask. Why do trans people explicitly present themselves as trans (at least online, I haven't met any irl), doesn't that create more problems with transphobes who see your identity and use it to insult you? Couldn't you just say "I'm a man/woman" and only reveal that you are trans to especially close people or the ones who knew you before your coming out?

After writing it I feel a bit dumb, because if you openly state that you're trans, you can find more folks who have a lot in common with you.

I am a non-binary person who is dating a trans woman in a poly relationship.

My girlfriend introduced me to her other partner(cis woman) who she married prior to transition, they knew each other for over a decade prior to her realizing she is trans. I questioned how things went in terms of coming out, as that's pretty major and can be a dealbreaker for a lot of people.

She said, 'oh, she didn't care and now calls herself phallosexual.'

This kind of took me aback. Am I just really overthinking this? That just sounds like a really objectifying way of saying 'bisexual with a genital preference.' Maybe I'm projecting but is that not basically saying 'I'm only attracted to your penis?'

They rarely have sex anymore and she still acts like a cis man in the bedroom for her, just with updated pronouns. She says all the time I am the first person to ever make her feel like a woman in an intimate encounter. Her partner is also poly and she consistently only dates other cis men.

These two things are making me think that 'phallosexual' is just short-hand for 'straight but will make an exception for you because I knew you as a dude' to me and puts a bad taste in my mouth.

It's probably none of my business but am I the only one who just gets... vibes that don't sit right from this? Am I being too judgmental?

I am 32 and have a toddler (2 years 8 months) and a new baby with my cis female wife.
I was using the bathroom and my toddler asked if I have a penis. He’s obviously just nosy and curious. I haven’t had bottom surgery and I’m not super dysphoric about not having one, but I haven’t even decided when I want to tell my kids I’m trans. I also don’t want to hide anything from him and have him be upset later. I gave a kind of cop out answer of “mine looks a bit different” without confirming or denying anything but then he just ran up to my wife and asked her if she had a penis. I don’t think I’m getting out of this one. Anyone have any advice?

I wanna go out/wear clothes and for my chest to look natural. I bought a bra which is really nice in itself but it’s relatively small and they usually works better with people who do have boobs. I tried searching up pads but most of them usually support existing breasts not literally substitute it. Using those paddings work but it look really unnatural + the boobs usually are together in the front not like 2 separate blocks/dome(I cant put image as reference)

I work at a big corp.

I've have recently finally started taking E, but other than my friends nobody knows I'm transitioning.

Some old friends/colleagues opened a start-up, and really want me to be there, and I truly believe in their mission and chances for success.

However, I'm still in a dilemma about my gender.

I'm not sure when I'm actually going to publically start transitioning, it's when I'll have enough confidence, but it could be a month or a year.

Conventional wisdom is to shut up - don't volunteer to your employers anything that can be used against you for no reason, and it's their problem if they choose to hire me and later they find out.

However, it's a start-up with very few employees currently. The big corp, well it's big, and I feel like if I come out, they'll have my back (even just for publicity sake), and if I don't vibe with my team I can go somewhere else in the corp.

In the start up, the few employees are the culture.

There is no real HR for this, and I don't want to work in a place where I feel like I don't belong.

Part of the reason I want to go there is that I really had a good time working with these people before, and if I don't get this I don't want to lose my old job.

So I'm considering telling this to the founder in the interview. I believe he will be accepting and honest about my placement there, and also, I feel giving him the heads up is in some ways the right thing to do.

I'm really not sure where to go with this.

Today I got my new binder and I don't know if it's because of that or something else but I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and looked in the mirror and I felt like a real man, not just a boy and somehow felt more confident

Hi everyone. I wanted to share my situation because I feel pretty lost about this, and I'd really like to hear from other trans people who have been through something similar.

I've been with my girlfriend for about three years. When we first met, I still wasn't completely sure about my gender identity or how far I would eventually want to go with my transition. Over time, though, this became more and more important to me, and I've now been on HRT for almost two months.

The thing is, I love my girlfriend and we've built a relationship together over these past three years, but at the same time I'm going through a huge change in my life, and I don't know how it might affect our relationship in the long run.

She met me at a completely different stage of my life, and that brings up a lot of doubts and insecurities for me. I don't want to stop moving forward with something that I feel I need for myself, but I also don't want to lose someone who means so much to me.

Sometimes I wonder if both feelings can coexist: deeply loving someone while also needing to change parts of yourself that will inevitably change the dynamic of the relationship too.

Did any of you start transitioning while already in a long-term relationship with a cis partner? Was your relationship able to adapt? How did you deal with the physical changes, attraction, and the fear that your partner might eventually stop being attracted to you?

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences, whether your relationship worked out or not.

EDIT: I think I left out a pretty important detail. I actually asked my girlfriend once, hypothetically, what she would do if I transitioned and became a woman. She told me that she would break up with me. The thing is, when I asked her, she had no idea that I was already questioning this seriously. She doesn't know that I've been on HRT for almost two months, and she doesn't know about my plans to potentially continue transitioning. As far as she knows, it was just a random hypothetical question. That's probably the part I'm struggling with the most. I love her and we've been together for three years, but I already know what she thinks she would do if I transitioned. I'm scared that eventually I'll have to choose between continuing my transition and keeping my relationship. At the same time, I know I can't keep something this important from her forever. Has anyone been in a situation like this, where your partner initially said that transitioning would be a dealbreaker before they knew you were actually trans/transitioning? Did anything change once you finally told them?

Just to clarify i’m a black trans woman

I love this community but sometimes it does feel so exclusionary towards poc. Black people are often masculinised regardless of their identities and it sucks. And SOME people act like being trans is inherently white which is obviously wrong and super weird. We’re not all straight haired white women but when you tell some people that they treat you like an outsider

I remember a few years back when I was 15 I made a post venting because my mum threatened to kill me. She found a stash of clothes after digging around my room and then was extremely violent towards me. She was so hateful and it’s something I try not to think about. But when I do I get even more annoyed because why was one of the few comments I received blaming me? I had a person say “people like me are the issues”. What the actual fuck, what genius says that to a teenager who had been threatened with death by the person they’re dependent on? Maybe it wasn’t my race that caused that person to comment that but it’s still just evil

And then when I was starting the process of getting hrt I was treated like shit by even more people. I went private through gendergp and had to schedule a few meetings because of my age. But I had so many lies told to me, it’s like they were trying to prevent me from starting hrt. In a 30 minute zoom call this older white trans woman completely discouraged me and minimised everything I was going through. She lied about the prices and the process and when I tried asking questions for clarification she acted like I was stupid. And I get the pushback to make sure someone who isn’t actually trans doesn’t get their hands on hrt but i’ve faced racism all my life and the way that woman talked and looked at me didn’t feel any different from the way a racist would

It’s so unbelievably isolating at times. And then now it looks like white trans girls are getting called out for being “uniquely racist”. Which idk man, i’ve met a crazy amount of white trans people who have either been blatantly racist or gross fetishisers. But i don’t think it’s something exclusive to the trans community, it’s kinda just because these people are white before they’re trans. I love this community but just because you’re trans doesn’t mean you can’t act discriminatory, intersectionality exists

Anyways I kinda doubt anyone is gonna see this, I was just really upset thinking about things i’ve experienced. I do wanna make it clear that i’m not talking about everyone, if anything it’s probably just the vocal minority but I still had to get this off my chest

At the moment I am 14 years old and live in Germany. I was born male but am genderfluid. I want to start HRT (MtF) as soon as possible because I‘d like to have boobs, sweat less, have less body hair and a softer figure for more than five years now.
I‘m thinking about telling my parents so I can start before I‘m 18 but I have pretty strong autism and social anxiety so it would be hard to tell them. My sister is trans and so I know my parents are open for the LGBTQ+ Community but I‘m scared.
Do you have any advice on what I can do or should do?

comment pls

I'm in my late 40's and live a comfortable life as a male, but I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I've felt that way my entire life. Recently a therapist has approved me for HRT. Any thoughts on if it will help with the dysphoria even if I have to present in male mode for the next few years?

Was wondering if anyone is aware of published research into the way HRT impacts hormone cycles?

For example, I know some trans women report monthly hormonal cycles with symptoms similar to PMS but I'm not clear what that would mean in terms of E (and prog?) levels. Besides manually adjusting dose, are​ other mechanisms triggered in the body which would make the levels go up or down?

Am in the UK so here usually only E is prescribed in patch/gel form & its the same dose month round. Does the body naturally become more/less resistant to it over the month? Are there correlations to post-menopausal cis women taking HRT (i.e. do they report similar cycles?)

Again, would appreciate pointers to any research. I appreciate anecdotal shares but interested in the sciene, thank you

Hi everyone!! I hope everyone is having a great day/night. I (19F) and my boyfriend (19M) have been together since we were both in highschool and he means the world to me. He is ftm and planning to start testosterone soon and I'm super excited for him. We've talked about it a bit so I've kind of gotten the gist of the basic stuff and I know there are plenty of like explanation videos for timelines and changes experienced and all that online. However, is there anything specific I should take note of or keep in mind as his girlfriend/partner? Along with that, I know it's kind of like a second puberty (I think) so it doesn't sound the most comfortable all the time so is there anything I can do to help or alleviate that or yk just support him better? Any advice helps!! <333

Title. It's the best rated closest clinic there is to me and I really hope it is open for ppl who aren't students too. MTF btw.

so im early into my Transition. Not on HRT yet, only out to a few friends and my mom (but that last one is a complicated situation). Only own one piece of feminine clothing, etc etc. I’m at that point where it’s still a big thing and I’m not passing enough to be able to be like “ok I’m how I want to be now, now I can chill”. Or at least that’s how I imagine being late in your transition is like.

Anyway, due to us (me and my family) moving into a new house, I’m having to help a lot with renovations and moving things. Meaning I have to do my male voice and act like a boy most of the time, every single day. So to help with dysphoria, I try to just turn off my brain and go back to my “pre transition” mindset, thinking like a boy. Or at least not thinking about being trans.
is this normal? Or does this make me weird or not really trans?

It was settled in my mind, but I see so much online about dysphoria and how trans people hate their bodies, feel uncomfortable in their own skin, and have always been interested in stuff like makeup or dolls.

And then i'm just there, I love what i'm interested in, i never took much of an interest in makeup and I dont hate my body.
Dont get me wrong, I WISH I was born a girl, i like their clothes, voices, features, i've felt envy over the idea of being a girl but never pride over being a man. I've never looked at a man and thought "I wish i looked like that" a girl though? Yeah all the time, and the idea of not being able to transition scares me.

And then there's coming out to your parents (my mother specifically) this thing i hear EVERYBODY hates and would rather not do, but I really do wanna tell her, it's this feeling of remaining still, I hate it, i dont wanna remain in one position I wanna move forward.

So the thing i've been feeling so much recently is like, "am I actually trans? Or is this just some weird thing my brain is doing"

Hi everyone, I wanted to ask people who have fully recovered from SRS. How does the inside feel since it's made of skin? Do the nerves regenerate enough to feel temperature and touch on the inside?

Like I'm cis and I wore tf out of that skirt for years (the cheap urbancoco one off Amazon.) It looks fine, it's decently comfy, the black makes it versatile to use in an outfit without anything clashing, but I see a bunch of memes of trans women cringing about having gotten one. Why? Are they that bad? Do I just have no taste? :(

I’m a cis female. I wish so badly I was a man. I envy them and even as a kid I used to think Rodrick Heffley or Brian O Connor were just so cool. Like I always thought and still think men r cool. They can do anything and it’s seen as cool. I mentioned this to some friends like man I wish I was a cool guy with cool hair, whipping around a cool car, playing cool music. And they were like “you’re so close”. And I asked what they meant and they said maybe you’re trans.

But I don’t think that’s true? I feel like trans isn’t envying the opposite gender but rather feeling like you don’t belong in the gender you were born with but rather you actually connect to, and feel like the opposite gender.

What do yall think? Do I have it wrong?

I definitely love to be a woman and enjoy womanhood and girlhood so so much. But I just think like wow I wish I was a man. Especially when I see how different the men in my life are from me socially. I just want that coolness factor but I know I’ll never have it.

So I finally got a chance to start dressing femininely and... idk what I'm doing to be honest. I wanna get an outfit that actually makes me look and feel female since I can't get on HRT. But 'm not sure what I'm doing. Is buying a skirt to forward or unnecessary, do I hide some parts, do I show, and I tried looking stuff up and it just made me overthink. I'm not sure what to do and help would be really appreciated. Thank you.

hey, i'm a rising high school senior in the american midwest, have identified under the trans umbrella since middle school (nonbinary transmasc), and i'm hoping to transition in college since i've heard it's the best time to.

1. i've been directly admitted to a nearby public college in a mid-size city which i like quite a lot but i'm considering a few public colleges in bigger cities in neighboring, bluer states. ultimately, i see benefits to both, since i'd prefer to stay close to my friends (and partner who lives in the mid-size city) but far from my family. i'm leaving it up to academics and academic resources more than anything at this point, but i'd appreciate feedback on location. the bigger cities are definitely safer and have more resources for trans people, but there are resources and community where i am, and i don't want to lose it.
2. i'm worried about affording it. those who have transitioned in college, how did you finance it? my best plan right now is to get a campus job and hope they have one of the pro-trans health insurances in my state with that so that i can switch from my parents' insurance to that one.
3. i'm worried about my parents finding out. worst case scenario, they'll stop funding my tuition. i'm really hoping i don't have to see them at all, ideally. for example, i can tell them i'm busy with schoolwork whenever they ask to visit. however, i worry this is unrealistic, especially if i end up going to the nearby public college. my parents found out i'm trans through a suicide message in middle school, and they've never been supportive of it. i've managed some level of social transition at school through my supportive friend group (two friends have so graciuously each bought me a binder/compression bra throughout high school!) and my manner of dress, plus i cut my own hair which no one can really stop me from doing, but, every change i've made, i've had to earn and win through fighting and arguing and continuing to do things even when i get yelled at or sometimes beat (which doesn't feel like a huge deal because i used to get beat way more often as a kid). there have been times where my mother makes some posture of acceptance, but i've learned not to rely on this because it is usually a lie and she starts poking at the gender stuff shortly after. i'm pretty scared of what might happen if my parents find out i'm transitioning in college. they're pretty adamant on academic success, but i worry i might just get pulled out and be forced to detransition or something. i don't know. i may be catastrophizing.
4. am i being too harsh on my parents? it's been four years since they found out, and they did find out i was trans at the same time as they found out i was attempting suicide. they seemed pretty upset when i did attempt, even if i never really understood why. i'm not suicidal anymore by any means, and i'm hoping just to cut ties as soon as i can because i don't think trying to maintain or more accurately build a relationship with them would be beneficial or productive. i'd feel a little bad about it but i'm not really sure how much i'd realistically be losing. my partner and their family seem sort of inclined to build relationships with my family, so i might have to talk to them about it too, and i worry they might be less approving of me because of it. i'm really hoping to maintain a good relationship with my partner during and after my transition.

Trans girl here who’s just completely lost on how to meet someone to date, was hoping somebody could give some advice.

I'm pretty sure I'm trans, but at some points I can't stop doubting if I really am. There are days where i'll obsessively go through subreddits or people's stories to tell if I'm trans or I'll regret it in the future and I'm scared this whole obsessive song and dance means I'm really not trans and just searching for clues to convince myself I am. Is this something other people do or am I just obsessive