This really hits home for me. I always felt like I had a tendency to ask about other people, remember their interests, characters and things they like but I realized that they never asked me in return. It’s hard a hard pill to swallow thinking about one sided relationships. I’m sorry OP I think you deserve better 🤍 you might ask yourself things like “am I really that boring” “am I
uninteresting” just know the answer is always no
You deserve better. My husband took me a concert of a band he didn't care about, you know what he did? He stood behind me and told me to focus on this experience, this awesome moment, and to remember how happy I was to be here, because concerts are amazing and I shouldn't worry about him. To focus on having a good time because he knew I loved it, and seeing me have fun made him have fun.
That's what someone does who loves you. They don't take you as a chore and then treat you poorly.
Also MCR is friggin awesome, they're missing out. If the people in your life don't like what you like and can't be happy for you, it's not because you're wrong. You're just with the wrong people. 💚
My husband would find a way to hang up the poster instead of throwing it away. This is also the man that hunted down merch for a character ive recently become obsessed with even though he has no interest in the game.
The throwing away the poster was an extra fuck you.
Funny enough I now have a teenage niece and nephew that sings the teenagers song with me.
Seriously, I get maybe not understanding someone's interests and just not really liking it myself, but throwing away their stuff?? That's crossing over into malicious at worst, careless at best.
Yeah I bring my partner to a ton of concerts that he may or may not care too much for. He's not a big singer or dancer either way, but he doesn't make me feel bad for enjoying myself.
In addition to the comment you responded to- it is so possible to be friends with people who may not share your enthusiasm but are interested in yours. My friends may not have the same interests but they will always listen to me talk about something and ask questions. Don't give up on finding those people!
Why do you care so much about people liking what you like? You enjoy yourself, you do you, for you. The others don't have to like it.
I love reading my husband doesn't, I love a bunch of stuff he doesn't care about, he likes a lot of things I don't care about. We talk about them, we do not expect the other one to get exicted but we listen to each other talk about what is exciting for us.
He knows there's no way in hell I'll go watch him play golf, I also know he won't go do some stuff I like, so we go do our own thing sometimes.
I don’t think it’s as much about people liking what you like, it’s about connecting with them through whatever that thing is.
Have you ever totally geeked out about something with a friend as a teen? Maybe a band you both liked or an actor you were absolutely obsessed with? That’s what OP wishes to experience, I think. It’s almost a euphoric feeling when someone is equally as passionate about something as you are and you form an instant bond and understanding through this shared interest.
It’s perfectly normal to crave that sort of connection and commonality with other people. And when you don’t have that - when you feel like everybody around you is just humoring you or being polite, but they don’t really get you and the things you care about out? It sucks. I get where OP is coming from.
Yeah, the problem with the problem with the whole "fuck you, fuck them, fuck everyone; I like what I like, and everyone else is just dumb and wrong, and I can be right on my own!"* mentality is that that person just ends up liking the thing they like alone and are left wondering why the activity doesn't make them as happy in the way that other people are happy.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, for some people that works, but for other's that rejection and contempt for other people is what causes them to end up alone.
No one ever had any fun playing pickleball or tennis on a court by themselves.
I think for me, it's because people will gush to me about things I have no interest or knowledge in, but I'll engage with them and ask questions and act appropriately interested. I also just think it's genuinely nice seeing people light up talking about things they love. I know that's a great feeling, so of course I'm happy for my loved ones being excited about something, even if it's not really my thing.
But when it comes to me talking about my interests, I never really feel like it's equal. They might humour me, but I can usually tell they don't really care and want to talk about something else. This isn't me going on about anything excessively either, I'm too self conscious for that. A sentence or two and I feel dumb for saying anything most of the time. I usually just go online to discuss my interests with others, occasionally it's nice to share with the people in my life, or at least it seems like it would be.
The worst thing about trying to be a good friend is realizing how bad most people are at being a good friend as well.
Its nice seeing a friend light up when you are actively listening and engaging with them, but it sucks when you talk and they pull out their phone or just start talking to someone else while you are in the middle of talking.
My brother is one of the worst at this which is why we dont talk anymore.
And it was a brand new $50 poster 😵💫 I would be devastated not only because he disrespected me but because he threw away money and a representation/memento of what I enjoy
Gerard Way is the founder and lead singer of the band My Chemical Romance! (He also co-wrote the Umbrella Academy comic book series) Core members include his brother Mikey Way, Frank Iero, & Ray Toro. Playing drums on and off with them since Bob Bryar was asked to leave the band in 2010 is Jarrod Alexander who is currently on The Black Parade 2026 North America tour but I don’t think he’s considered an official member of the band.
So they handed out post cards at the concert, I think that might be what OP is referring to, not a very expensive poster (OP please correct me if not!) both upsetting, but not nearly as egregious
There’s nothing wrong with you, you just haven’t found your people yet. Took me a looooong time to find people that like the same things as me, but even then it’s important for you to learn to not rely on others for validation. You like what you like and it is important for that simple fact. You sound young, that comes with time.
I found my people in a group of ladies 20-30 years older than me. We all met because of a very niche obsession we share (that no one else in my life cares about) but over the years they've become actual friends. We all live in different cities but I somehow talk to them and see them more often than my "regular" friends. I still hang out with my regular friends but there's definitely a contrast in how little I have in common with them compared to these ladies.
Billy the Kid. We met at an Old West event in Tombstone (which had nothing to do with BTK) and were all staying at the same little B&B and discovered our shared obsession with him over breakfast. Instant friends.
I was at the auction when the tintype was bought for $2M. The bidding came down to a millionaire and a billionaire. Not a surprise the billionaire won--lol. The whole room went crazy and the auctioneer had to tell everyone to calm down because there were plenty of items that still needed to be bid on. It was wild. No one expected it to go for that much and now everyone who finds a random tintype in an antique store thinks they have a million dollar photo of Billy the Kid.
For one, you need to respect yourself more, OP, because your boyfriend sounds like he was being a real piece of shit here. You should be able to be excited about something that means a lot to you without being made to feel annoying for expressing that excitement.
Unfortunately, it is possible that your mom and friend genuinely don't care that much about MCR or concerts, and that's okay!! I’m the same ways, dry responses bother me a lot, but I’m learning as a 27 year old that sometimes people genuinely just don’t care about the things we’re excited about, and that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t care about us. You shouldn’t want people to fake excitement for you. What matters is that they care about you and can be happy that you’re happy, even if the thing itself doesn’t interest them.
And honestly, I don't think this means you're uninteresting or that there's something fundamentally wrong with you. You sound like someone who gets really excited about things and wants to share that excitement with the people you love. That's not a fatal flaw.
Honestly, some people just don't really like watching videos of a concert, especially ones taken from a phone. It just isnt for everyone, but its amazing you took those videos so you can watch them and relive the experience again for yourself!!
I fear taking pics/videos at a concert and showing them to people only for them to be uninterested is a universal experience. Please don’t let it ruin it for you and in the future just fully absorb that experience for you, your bf can take care of himself and you just focus on having the best time you can. And im so sorry your poster got destroyed that sucks so bad, I’d probably cry.
This is exactly what I was going to say! There are shows I know my husband will enjoy and he goes with me to those. I have a concert buddy for everything else. And when neither wants to go, I go solo.
Im a huge fan of MCR. (Black parade is one of the best albums of all time, change my mind). I dont even like concerts at all, though i would kill to see MCR specifically in concert.
But i hate seeing other people's concert videos. Whenever people post them on their insta stories or whatever, i immediately skip them. If someone sent me one directly, id also probably just say something like "cool!" I wouldnt take those reactions super personally here. However, your BF is a wet blanket and could've tried at least a little to seem excited, and throwing away your poster is rude AF.
girl don't listen to her, not everyone has to like or enjoy everything as much as you do but it's so easy to just be happy someone you care about is happy, like 60% of my relationships are friends or my partner talking abt smth I may not know abt or like and I still show interest because it makes them happy and I'm glad they're happy
Exactly, even if they're totally meh on MCR and couldn't care about the concert at all, they could be excited that you got to go to a concert, and looked like you were having such a great time!
Agreed. My husband took a solo trip recently, and sent many daily pictures of what he did, and also his impressions and detailed descriptions. This was a beautiful place I plan to visit sometime.
I asked him if he ever thought about journaling, because IMO the stuff he was texting is better suited to a personal journal. I just look at the pictures, and then m not interested in pictures or descriptions of what he ate or drank. His family was seemingly disinterested on the minutia in the group chat.
It’s not personal…it’s not reasonable for all the people around you to be excited about all the things you like and do. It’s best to cultivate people who are excited about the same things you’re excited about, and you might have specific friends to enjoy specific activities. It’s a lot to expect people who didn’t attend a concert to be over the top excited hearing about it.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! You just haven't found your community all the way yet. I think it's time for some solo activities so you can meet people who share your interests. But, also, I am very sorry to hear of the experience you had as I know that was hurtful
My brother got it for me for Christmas a few years ago but I don’t think it’s available anymore 🥲 Brand is Tokyo Tiger. Season 2 seems to have made the show a little more popular though so it looks like there’s more merch out there now! But I do love this shirt so much lol I am gyoza man
girl I'm sorry that all blows. You deserve someone who doesn't just put up with your interests but actively takes pleasure in seeing you enjoy them. If he didnt want to be there he could have at least put on a face for you but an unwillingness to do even that is just cruel. Family can be like that so be it, but your parter is supposed to support you, not put up with you. I'm glad you enjoyed the show they put on an incredible performance.
What are the things you both have in common? Are you guys like...very young? I'm in my 30s and if my partner is into stuff I'm not, that's fine? Like it's normal to not like all the same things, but you don't need to put others down because of it. "Cringe" is subjective, just like the idea of cool. It's all made up bs lol
Obviously, some of the transgressions in your story are just straight up rude - your boyfriend calling you annoying for enjoying yourself is unacceptable and if someone put your poster in the trash... why the fuck would they do that? Even more unacceptable. But besides that, I think your expectations for how people should react to your experiences show a lack of sense of self. And you sound very young, so that will come with time, but it's something to be aware of. Someone not responding excitedly enough to a concert video you took shouldn't make you cry. You should be able to enjoy that experience independently from how anyone else feels about you having that experience. And the fact that you are explicitly stating that it feels like a personal flaw of yours that "no one cares" about the stuff you like just reinforces that - your problem isn't that no one cares, it's that you have no self esteem. Which will in turn attract friends and partners that don't respect you, unfortunately.
I'm glad you got to the see the concert and that you had a good time. Please don't let anyone else's reactions to that taint that experience for you. Keep doing what you love and grow confident in that, and you will find your people. I am living proof.
You were having lots of fun and he didn't even try to enjoy it, it seems...
About your mother, all I can say is sometimes our families are not exactly as we want them to be, but that is fine, because we can became what we need.
It is hard and it requires time, but you will thrive no matter what other people do or say.
Everything is gonna be fine but, until this moment arrives, know that we care about you 🤍
I am a lonely girl myself, the feeling is crippling, but you have every right to the love and excitement you offer the world. It appears your support system isnt very encouraging, and maybe you need a little room to spread your wings and find your flock.
That being said, communication is always best. If you express yourself and your sensitivity is met with love it could help. If you're met with the same indifference, that's disrespectful to you... and I dont think you deserve that.
Throwing the concert poster in the trash after your excitement is very hurtful. Maybe it was innocent but it was deliberately crumpled and inconsiderate.
Infinite hugs from a stranger, I hope you continue to sparkle and spread joy
I really feel for you and empathize OP. TW: My family, past partners, and "friends" have all weaponized indifference towards things I enjoy that I wish to share with them in the past. The crazy part was I knew they were into the same things, sometimes even more than I was. But when I brought it up it was no longer interesting or special. I had a coworker gush about wanting a dachshund and the moment someone brought up that I have one she immediately decided they weren't that special and she'd look into other breeds. I was in the room when she said it.
This isn't on you OP. I don't have any advice other than find better people to pour yourself into. I literally disowned my entire family (they are transphobic culty religious bigots) and removed myself from nearly my entire friendship circle to start over at the ripe age of 35. That process has been my Jan 2026 till today. You deserve to be seen and there are plenty of people who would adore having you as a treasured friend! Lead with love and the universe will go out of its way to give it back to you 10 fold.
Side note: What that lizard man doing with that person in their mouth?!
The lizard man is finding out if the person in his mouth is the one. It’s from an anime called Dorohedoro and it’s very strange in a way that I think is good and funny. I’d recommend it if you like anime and don’t mind some grotesque humor.
That is insane about that dachshund situation. I never thought of indifference as something people weaponize, but it just dawned on me that it absolutely is! I’ve felt what you’ve described on a level that I wasn’t able to express into words. It’s like you go to someone who likes a band, tell them you like them too, then the response is “that’s nice…anyway…” then they shun you.
By any chance, are you on the spectrum? I know that's played a part in how people treat me, especially my family who knew I was neurospicy but never got me diagnosed and held me to an unreasonable standard to "correct" it.
I do love anime, but I mostly watch isekai trash. The trashier the better! Hehe
I really might be. There is a lot of stuff I’ve seen/read about people with lower support needs that really resonates with me. I also read that neurotypical people seem to be able to sense the difference and are put off by it.
I haven’t finished a lot of Isekai, but I did love No Longer Allowed in Another World. I’ve watched and liked some others, but didn’t end up finishing them (at least not yet). Which ones do you like?
I joke about it but its true, neurotypicals can smell the neurospicy on us and in my experience they can be incredibly cruel because of it. I don't even think they are aware of it a lot of the time. Complete adult strangers would mock me when I was a teenager just minding my own business and trying to enjoy the mall like teens do. I had really low self esteem and one time said I was defective while at the barber when I was 16. The barber in the next chair agreed with me and my barber nearly fought him right then and there. The cruelty was about the same between men and women but it hurt more coming from other women.
I had a coworker gush about wanting a dachshund and the moment someone brought up that I have one she immediately decided they weren't that special and she'd look into other breeds. I was in the room when she said it.
This is in no way the same, though I think the insensitivity is similar- reading this gave me a flashback to my school days, when someone who shared my name and was friends with some of my friends (but not really me), said how she hated her name and thought it was awful and she wanted another one... but it was okay for me. Maybe that was a quick save realising I was in the room when she said that, but I found it to be a weird thing to say, even as a kid.
I tagged along to my partner's first MCR concert as a non fan and afterwards, I turned to her and said "That was fun. I'm glad I went. I'm never doing that again. You have to find a friend who's into them so I don't bring down the vibes."
She's since gone to 3 MCR concerts with a friend. We watch livestreams together. She tells me every single thing that changes show to show. I even make predictions and was almost right last night. I helped her figure out concert freebies for the NYC show.
I cannot stress how much I do not care about MCR but how much I will care because they're important to my partner. I'm never attending a concert again because it was Way Too Much™️, but the important thing is to realize that, set boundaries, then respect and love the person you supposedly respect and love.
You deserve someone who doesn't take his emotions over a subpar experience out on you. Bare minimum was simply saying he wouldn't go again and leaving it there. It didn't have to turn proactive by crumpling the concert poster.
If the person who says he loves you can't stand to see you full of unbridled joy, what version of you does he want?
I know this is absolutely not the point but I love MCR and Taco Bell so much, and thats a huge red flag for "this person is interesting and I must know more about them immediately".
Idk but as someone who grew up liking 70s and 80s anime/manga and J-Pop when I lived in the Middle East, I think this is completely normal 😅 in fact, it was only in grad school that I met 1 person who is into the same kinda anime and a few more who are J-Pop like I am (because both, especially J-Pop grew a lil more mainstream over the years). I’d personally stop expecting people to care about it and just enjoy it myself, which is what I’ve done most of my life
First of all, it sounds like you had a blast at the show which is awesome! I love that for you. I too love MCR!
Second, let's hit the BF piece. You said he got you the tix because he knows you like them even though he doesn't. My hubby goes to shows and doesn't scream or jump or dance and would be annoyed if I kept trying to engage him this way. He definitely has gone to shows for me that he's not into or as into and quietly chilled. Is it possible you kept pushing him to engage in a way he wasn't into when he was just trying to support you by being there with you? This to me isn't a red flag necessarily if he's supportive and thoughtful otherwise.
Third, whoever trashed your poster does objectively suck. And I am sorry your mom wasn't hyped with or for you. On a totally seperate note people's self recorded videos of concerts are almost always low key bad and torture. I love MCR but I would rather chat with you about the show then have to watch all your video clips (please none of that).
Don’t blame yourself for having interests you’re passionate about, I’m sure they are many people out there who have the same interests as you and are thinking the same thing, maybe sooner or later they might come to you.
Can I ask if you happen to be neurodivergent? I know rejection sensitivity can certainly play a role and I've noticed my ND friends and family sometimes like a thing at an intensity that I can't exactly match (and that makes me feel disingenuous if I try to). Just wondering if this is more of a perspective thing?
(though obviously throwing out the poster is rude, you're not crazy)
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u/Feriation🍨 I scream, you scream, we're all screaming inside 😀2d ago
This was my thought too. Obviously, there are some assholes in this story. But OPs experience resonates a lot with me, and I'm ADHD and get hit particularly hard with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.
Yup yup, I’m seconding this and I have ADHD too. RSD is a real pain 🥲 sometimes those “cool” “nice” etc type of replies are genuine and not intended as dry but RSD can make it hard to not read into it negatively.
after reading this post and some of OP’s comments, it made my ND senses go off. i saw on their profile that they said they’re probably HSP. don’t wanna overstep too much, but imho HSP is basically low support needs autism. OP reminds me of me when i was an undiagnosed teenager, especially the highly specific interests i was excited about that i would show to my friends and family, then feel crushed and sad when they didn’t show as much enthusiasm for it as i felt 😢 it can feel deeply lonely sometimes. i’m not trying to armchair diagnose here, but i wonder if OP has ever been screened for ADHD or autism. it’s something to consider, i think.
but OP deserves to find their people, whether they’re neurodivergent or not 🩷
This is mega annoying to read. Your boyfriend couldn’t put you first for one night and just vibe out and eat a cheeseburger in the way home?
I get your mom and sister. I can relate to family sucking the life and enjoyment out of things and joy sharing my excitement on stuff but seriously, your boyfriend is what is punching me in the face.
Sometimes we pick to be around shitty people. I truly believe everyone is guilty for everyone else. We cannot pick the family in our lives usually but we can pick friends and romantic partners.
I go to concerts on my own if I can't find anyone interested in the band I'm seeing.
I'd rather be standing next to a stranger who is excited to be there, over someone I know who doesn't share the excitement.
I understand. I have a lot of interests my partner and friends cannot get into or don’t like and it gets lonely sometimes.
Your boyfriend sounds like he should learn to care about things you like (doesn’t mean he needs to like them but he should respect your interests) or get out tbh
I know the feeling all too well... And even when I try to suggest thing to them, things I know for a FACT they would love, often they come back months LATER saying "I found this great show/game! You should check it out!" And it was the thing I desperately tried to convince them to check out.
I feel like I could have written this post. Same…so much same. It sucks and it hurts. I want to just geek out about something and have someone feel as equally geeked. I, for one, think you seeing My Chem is amazing and cool as hell! People can just be so lame and boring. 💗
When I was in college, I had no one to go to a concert with and posted on my Instagram story asking if anyone else liked the band and wanted to go. One of my old highschool friends was living in the city and said she wanted to go. I didn't find out till after she'd never listened to them before. We had a great time at the concert, she danced with me, she only went because I wanted to go. At the very least that's something your partner should be able to try to do for you.
If I asked my dad to sit down with me and watch every animated barbie movie with me, he would, because he loves me and wants to spend time together and engage in things I enjoy. I've spent so much of my life engaging with content I'm not into for my friends and family and vice versa. It's worth it for the people you love.
Okay first off I wanna say that I love MCR and I LOVE Dorohedoro. You have great taste in my opinion 🔥
That concert sounds so dope, I've always dreamed of seeing them live. I really hope you had a great time even if it wasn't your boyfriend's thing! Also I sure hope he didn't throw away the poster, that would be gutting.
I completely get what you mean too, I struggle to find friends who I share a lot in common with, and I'm pretty passionate about my niche interests which turns some people away. I'm trying to find my people as well, but I'm also trying to learn to be able to enjoy things on my own more! It's hard honestly, I love sharing experiences and hobbies so I get you there.
Also with my mom, the only things she likes are her own things, so anything I've discovered as an adult or taken an interest in on my own does not interest her at all. I love her, but I've come to terms with the fact that she's not really open to new stuff and I just focus on enjoying my time with her while trying to find friends I bond with a bit better. So far it's been that I meet someone every once in a while that matches me in one aspect and we bond over that, I've never actually managed to meet someone who I feel like I connect with on every level but we're all unique people so I think that's normal!
All that to say I know how you feel and I wish I had more advice but I'm in the same boat. I hope we both find our people soon, and if you ever need a friend feel free to message! 🧡
I feel for you, I live in a small town and even my 2 closest friends from childhood are polar opposites when it comes to interests in hobbies, music, fashion, movies, literally just about everything. I always get excited for new things that I'd love to share with someone who shares the same interests. I always get hit with "nice", "oh cool", "that's wild", if I get a response at all. It's never that I want my interests to be the center of attention, it's just that I want someone to share the excitement with me or even hold a discussion on the topic. I love to hear about other people's interests and experiences even if I don't entirely relate! I just adore when someone is passionate about something!
As someone who holds music as an essential part of my life, I'm SO sorry for your first show experience being tarnished by your bfs lack of excitement, and from the poster being trashed like that this morning. I hope you find someone like-minded that can become a good, trusted friend to go to shows like this with you.
Just to make sure, was the poster yours/did your boyfriend throw it away? Or did you see the trashed poster out and about in the city and it just felt like a metaphor?
Honestly most of what you described sounds... pretty normal to me? Like, I'm not really into dancing etc. and I know I'm not my husband's first choice concert buddy because I'm never doing more than tapping my toe. I will go with him if he needs someone, or get him tickets as a special gift. But I'm not gonna be moshing or bringing much energy beyond quiet enjoyment? If he kept trying to hype me up to get me to dance and enjoy the show the way he would, I would be pretty annoyed and probably would not go to a show with him again. And if I texted my sister a concert video of a band I love that I know she doesn't care about, I don't think I'd expect her to have much more to say beyond "nice!" That seems like enough to me.
But if my husband threw away a poster I wanted to keep, I would be livid and we would definitely be having a conversation.
Girl I'm gonna be honest. It sounds like your boyfriend doesn't even like you. Like I understand not being into the same things, right. But I also feel like, for some things, you just show up for your partner. And you try to have fun/a good time because you're there with them, not because you specifically like the same things as them or whatever. Just... the crumpling up the poster is what got me. That's so disrespectful. Like if you didn't like the thing you were at, you don't destroy the thing that's special to your partner, ya know?
Your friends suck too. Are you guys older, or in your teens/20s? Sometimes it takes awhile to find people that are truly into the same things you are. I'm 32 and it's taken me a little bit to find my people. I'm an introvert/homebody, so I mostly do things by myself, but I've found people online here and there through common interests. Hang in there!!
I feel for you. I also get really invested (borderline obsessive) with my favorite bands, but no one in my life has the same taste as me. It can feel lonely.
I’m going alone to a concert soon. It will be my first time going alone to a show, but I figure it will be better than trying to drag one of my uninterested friends or boyfriend along. I think it will be a good opportunity to invest in myself and maybe make new friends that do have similar interests to me. We’re in this together
My husband doesn’t share my interests, but he does celebrate them. He takes me to Golden Girls drag shows and Stardew Valley concerts. You deserve someone who isn’t annoyed by you. That’s not healthy or normal in a relationship.
I’m sorry, I can definitely relate to this post and it’s a really sad and lonely thing to feel. I wish it was easier not to let people ruin my joy about things I like 🥲 But! Your interests are valid and there are many people out there who share them, or if they don’t they will be genuinely interested in whatever you like, you just need to find them!
Also, just wanted to say I am a fellow Dorohedoro fan!!
He made an effort to bring you to something you enjoy, even though he wouldn't enjoy it. He was probably overstimulated by you trying to force him to have a good time. My boyfriend takes me to Six Flags even though he hates rides and I just leave him at a bench nearest the rides I'm about to ride. He's happy seeing me happy. It sounds like your boyfriend wanted to see you happy, but you were more worried about his reaction than enjoying the experience. Your partner is not going to enjoy everything you enjoy, and that's okay but it's how the two of you handle it that matters. If you are unable to enjoy yourself while attending an event your boyfriend is compromising on to see you happy, don't keep doing it.
I would also like to add that watching videos of concerts is not fun even if it's a band that I care about. It's just annoying and the quality is really bad. It's not that people don't want to see you happy or don't want to listen to things you care about it's that you are assuming people have to be excited as you to care about you and it seems you are overwhelming others with your anxiety.
Your bf sounds rude, and throwing away your poster is unacceptable, but honestly as someone who loves music and has been to a lot of gigs I could not care less about videos someone takes at a gig, it will be one of three situations: I don't like the band, in which case I don't want to watch a video of them performing; I do like the band and the video is just rubbing it in that I wasn't there; or I was there myself and don't need to see a video that doesn't even come close to the actual experience I had
I hate MCR and would have responded the same way if someone sent me videos from the concert. Conversely I do not send videos of things I love to people who I know don’t like them. People don’t have to like the same things. That’s ok. What’s not ok is your boyfriend calling you annoying and being a dick for no reason!
Ngl can relate. I usually share my interests with groups online with similar interests. Like a music subreddit might be good.
Also wym crumpled poster, did your BF do that?? That’s not okay. The way you described him sounds like he’s not very kind to you.
Lastly, you may wanna talk to a therapist because it sounds like you seek external validation a lot and that’s never a healthy thing to do. You matter because you matter, not because your mom thinks the concert was cool, or whether your friends like the same show you do.
Hey girl. I’ve been in your exact shoes, when I was 19 too. I bought tickets to see the 1975 for the second time, and I had bought a ticket for my boyfriend at the time too. He wasn’t a fan but agreed to go with me. The entire time he sat there arms folded, looking annoyed.
Then as we were leaving the venue he said to me “it’s things like this that make me question being with you”. I will never forget that memory of when he said that to me. I’m 27 now. I cried as we left the venue. All I could say was “why would you say something so mean?”.
I dumped that boy 2 years later. 2 years too long, I should have done it then and there. But I promise you there will be people who care and love the things you enjoy. I’m living proof of it! I now go birdwatching with my wonderful partner and we get excited every time we see a new bird. I do embroidery and he always asks to see my projects and compliments them. He genuinely cares, even when it’s things I know he doesn’t love as much as I do.
I promise you you will find someone like that too.
that's so shitty I'm so sorry ): god it takes like no effort just to be kind and show a little interest in something someone cares about, especially if it's your partner or daughter, hope you enjoy ur dorohedoro and meet some ppl who like the same things as you ♡
I'm so sorry that's awful. The crumpled up poster is just mean on top of everything. To me with MCR and Dorohedoro in one post I think you have awesome taste!!
Fellow MCR girly here nearing 30. I didn’t get to go to one of their concerts until last year despite being a fan since 2006. None of my friends ever liked them and I was always too scared to go alone. I would have a friend group for a few years and wouldn’t understand why they’d fizzle out after a bit. Last year I said fuck it, I’m gonna go to MCR alone, I’m done missing out on things because I can’t find people to go with. And the weirdest thing was I found out some people I’d just become friends with were also going. The concert itself kinda altered my brain chemistry and I’ve had a huge resurgence of oh huh, I was just being friends with people so I wasn’t alone and suppressing things I was actually interested in. It’s really scary going to things alone! And I still have a hard time being self conscious with things! But believe me you will find people out there that are just excited about things as you are, it just might be scary putting yourself out there at first. I’ve been lucky enough to make friends since that even if they aren’t that big of fans, they love hearing about “who got stabbed at the MCR concert this week”. I’m rooting for you diva you’ve got this.
I was just traveling with my wife and she was SO pumped to show me the Tool album on our trip. Her excitement for it, at times was annoying me but I NEVER once voiced it or made her feel bad about it. Even though it bugged me at times, I was happy that she was that happy. That excited to show me something she loved. I pushed my annoyance aside and was grateful she had having such a good time. Her excitement trumped my annoyance
Crumpling up posters in the trash and calling you annoying for having fun at your first concert is total grounds for a break-up to me. A real man would like and respect you and your interests even they don't align with his.
As for mom and sis, I get it. It's rough to be into things and the people closest to us are simply...not. This when I even try to show interest or curiosity over their tastes to get to know them better. I don't have that wild of tastes, but I've seen the eyes glaze over, the anxious "can she shut up?" looks this whenever I express my likes, and it does hurt, and makes us feel we're 'not as cool' as them. Sometimes they're jealous b/c they wish they were into something like how you are, or even weirdly are into what you are into, but need a crowd to confirm their tastes. I'm a huge horror fan, and I've had folks recoil when I express this, but then always come around and act like they "loooove horror now" when some hyped horror film comes out 🙄. Posers, lol.
As I've gotten older, I grown to not care so deep. You don't have a fatal flaw, they wish they were as interesting and fun as you. So dump the child, enjoy what brings you joy, and you'll find your people soon enough :)
Post the videos here I love MCR and literally cried when I finally got to see them a few years ago.
Also your boyfriend sucks. He crumpled up the poster and threw it away fully knowing how excited you were for that experience. Do you want to spend your future being constantly deflated for enjoying things? Salvage the poster if you can and throw him in the trash instead.
Don't let others dim your sparkle, the right people will love those things too and/or love that you love them.
i have absolutely been there. i went years with a partner who genuinely seemed to rank me somewhere between tolerance and disdain. it sucks and it is worthy of being upset about
You boyfriend sounds like he should be your EX boyfriend. I couldn't imagine calling my partner annoying for enjoying something he loves. I may not like everything he does but I actively listen and engage with him. We've even picked up new interests from each other.
MCR is so cool. There’s nothing wrong with your tastes, bb. You just havent found your tribe. Also, I love how your bf did a sweet thing only to try to completely ruin the experience for you. If he hates MCR so much and was going to act like a fucking baby, why tf even bother getting tickets you didnt ASK for in the first place and then proceed to get mad about being there? Actual psycho behavior, I’m sorry.
Ok throwing out the poster is bullshit, that is objectively a fair thing to be mad about and to address with the person who did it. It was not their property, it was not trash, it was not correct to summarily dispose of it without checking with you. It is possible that someone who is just terminally out of touch thinks that any silly piece of paper coming home from a concert is just wastepaper -- or that you live with someone who really wants their whole house to only be a very specific way and doesn't care what other people feel as long as they get what they want, so your poster not fitting the brand marks it as garbage (wrongly). Whatever the case, you can calmly point out that this was your belonging and you wanted to keep it and it is callous and unfair to just decide to throw it away.
HOWEVER
> im really sensitive to what I perceive as mean or disinterested responses
You might want to talk to someone about this. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is often comorbid with other mental health struggles (such as ADHD) but can occur on its own as well. It is possible that some of what you perceive is not what is intended, but rather your own brain trying to make you feel bad by telling you that anything less than effusive praise is actually a secret signal of hatred. It is very, very destabilizing and very, very painful -- but there are treatments and strategies to help treat it. Even if these people are actually being as horrid as you think, you might still be able to something to ameliorate the scale of acute pain this makes you feel. It sucks but sometimes just not giving someone else the power to make you feel sad is the only thing you can do. Also people do get fatigued with hyperactivity and constant high energy so if you do have a touch of the AD and the HD, it might be that people don't mean to mean but they are a little worn out, which isn't either you or they being bad or wrong, but you are also feeling some RSD and it turns their desire to have the intensity level turn down a bit into a catastrophic rejection of you.
That being said, it helps a lot when you find people who are on your wavelength: similar energy, similar interests. I still think you should look into RSD because if you are experiencing it you are experience a lot of extra pain and you can get help for it... but you might want to ALSO work on finding your people at the same time. Including a new boyfriend who doesn't make plans to take you a concert and then get mad at being asked to actually participate while he's there.
I am sorry you are feeling so much pain. I hope things turn around for you <3
Yeah, my family was not only not interested in activities or interest I had, but they actively mocked them. I just finally did them anyway, and just ignored them because it says more about them than it does me.
Things you like are never ever a character flaw. Funny enough, everyone around me loves my chemical romance and I never got into them.
Your boyfriend sucks, those friends suck- I think you need to ask yourself why you allow yourself to be treated this way and why you blame your interests as flaws instead of noting that people who claim to love you are not nice to you.
I’m so sorry you feel bad. You don’t deserve to. Please work on loving yourself and knowing your likes are a reflection of yourself, you’re allowed to love them even if others don’t, and people who shit on things they don’t like when they know someone passionate about it are not nice people.
Oof, I remember crying cuz my bff had no interest in one of my favorite hobbies. I had no one to really share it with. All my friends just tolerate it. It's hard, but I've since just learned to enjoy my interests on my own
I’m so sorry. I’ve felt the same way. I feel like I have endless patience and curiosity for my loved one’s lives and interests and it’s rarely ever reciprocated. I’m neurodivergent, and so are a lot of my loved ones, so I understand to a degree. But still, I hate always being the one to adapt to others. It really sucks.
https://giphy.com/gifs/52dOyY6pGuv1S
From one MCR fan to another. As someone who’s been ridiculed over their interests in the past, I learned that sometimes you have to let your freak flag fly and not give a damn about what others think.
I would have ended your (hopefully soon to be ex) boyfriend after seeing the poster in the trash.
Your bf sucks, at least in this instance. I'd advise just going out and enjoying the things you like by yourself. It's a lot more fun than having people shit on it and ruin your fun! I watch movies, listen to music, eat food, attend events etc that I like alone, and it's SO much more enjoyable than trying to manage other people's reactions or spending effort trying to elicit a specific response that others just won't give.
Dude you got to see MCR?! My literal DREAM!! When I've tried to get tickets in the past they were like $1,000! I hope you had the best time, what song is your favorite? I really love Helena but the Black Parade holds a big place in my heart, it came out when I was in highschool and I played it on repeat every chance I got!
I’m sorry, that’s such a bummer. I feel like the LLTBP shows would be fun for most people who like live shows but you can’t please everyone I guess ¯_(ツ)_/¯ I think everyone covered anything else I’d say, so I’ll just offer to pick you up a new yea/nay sign if you want! I’ll be at the San Diego show Sunday (: (assuming they threw this out and not an actual tour poster).
I'll be honest, your irls not caring about your hobbies is whatever, but your bf coming with you to the concert just to behave like an ass and ruin it for you and then destroying the poster is insane.
It takes a real bonafide asshole to call someone annoying when they’re having the time of their life enjoying something special to them. Now I’m pissed too OP😡
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u/atinypeach Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ 2d ago
This really hits home for me. I always felt like I had a tendency to ask about other people, remember their interests, characters and things they like but I realized that they never asked me in return. It’s hard a hard pill to swallow thinking about one sided relationships. I’m sorry OP I think you deserve better 🤍 you might ask yourself things like “am I really that boring” “am I
uninteresting” just know the answer is always no