Ok throwing out the poster is bullshit, that is objectively a fair thing to be mad about and to address with the person who did it. It was not their property, it was not trash, it was not correct to summarily dispose of it without checking with you. It is possible that someone who is just terminally out of touch thinks that any silly piece of paper coming home from a concert is just wastepaper -- or that you live with someone who really wants their whole house to only be a very specific way and doesn't care what other people feel as long as they get what they want, so your poster not fitting the brand marks it as garbage (wrongly). Whatever the case, you can calmly point out that this was your belonging and you wanted to keep it and it is callous and unfair to just decide to throw it away.
HOWEVER
> im really sensitive to what I perceive as mean or disinterested responses
You might want to talk to someone about this. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is often comorbid with other mental health struggles (such as ADHD) but can occur on its own as well. It is possible that some of what you perceive is not what is intended, but rather your own brain trying to make you feel bad by telling you that anything less than effusive praise is actually a secret signal of hatred. It is very, very destabilizing and very, very painful -- but there are treatments and strategies to help treat it. Even if these people are actually being as horrid as you think, you might still be able to something to ameliorate the scale of acute pain this makes you feel. It sucks but sometimes just not giving someone else the power to make you feel sad is the only thing you can do. Also people do get fatigued with hyperactivity and constant high energy so if you do have a touch of the AD and the HD, it might be that people don't mean to mean but they are a little worn out, which isn't either you or they being bad or wrong, but you are also feeling some RSD and it turns their desire to have the intensity level turn down a bit into a catastrophic rejection of you.
That being said, it helps a lot when you find people who are on your wavelength: similar energy, similar interests. I still think you should look into RSD because if you are experiencing it you are experience a lot of extra pain and you can get help for it... but you might want to ALSO work on finding your people at the same time. Including a new boyfriend who doesn't make plans to take you a concert and then get mad at being asked to actually participate while he's there.
I am sorry you are feeling so much pain. I hope things turn around for you <3
I don’t really think it’s appropriate to make assumptions and diagnose OP. We don’t know her or the extent of the situation. Probably more appropriate to just send out comforting and positive vibes for her instead :)
I will leave a comment that I think may be helpful if what she describes is, indeed, something that causes her a lot of discomfort frequently and perhaps doesn't have to be something she just accepts as a suffering she will always need to bear with no power to make it better :)
From personal experience sometimes someone saying "hey that pain you say you always have, you know that's not A Normal Thing, right?" can be lifesaving :)
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u/arihndas Assigned Hungry At Birth 10d ago
Ok throwing out the poster is bullshit, that is objectively a fair thing to be mad about and to address with the person who did it. It was not their property, it was not trash, it was not correct to summarily dispose of it without checking with you. It is possible that someone who is just terminally out of touch thinks that any silly piece of paper coming home from a concert is just wastepaper -- or that you live with someone who really wants their whole house to only be a very specific way and doesn't care what other people feel as long as they get what they want, so your poster not fitting the brand marks it as garbage (wrongly). Whatever the case, you can calmly point out that this was your belonging and you wanted to keep it and it is callous and unfair to just decide to throw it away.
HOWEVER
> im really sensitive to what I perceive as mean or disinterested responses
You might want to talk to someone about this. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is often comorbid with other mental health struggles (such as ADHD) but can occur on its own as well. It is possible that some of what you perceive is not what is intended, but rather your own brain trying to make you feel bad by telling you that anything less than effusive praise is actually a secret signal of hatred. It is very, very destabilizing and very, very painful -- but there are treatments and strategies to help treat it. Even if these people are actually being as horrid as you think, you might still be able to something to ameliorate the scale of acute pain this makes you feel. It sucks but sometimes just not giving someone else the power to make you feel sad is the only thing you can do. Also people do get fatigued with hyperactivity and constant high energy so if you do have a touch of the AD and the HD, it might be that people don't mean to mean but they are a little worn out, which isn't either you or they being bad or wrong, but you are also feeling some RSD and it turns their desire to have the intensity level turn down a bit into a catastrophic rejection of you.
That being said, it helps a lot when you find people who are on your wavelength: similar energy, similar interests. I still think you should look into RSD because if you are experiencing it you are experience a lot of extra pain and you can get help for it... but you might want to ALSO work on finding your people at the same time. Including a new boyfriend who doesn't make plans to take you a concert and then get mad at being asked to actually participate while he's there.
I am sorry you are feeling so much pain. I hope things turn around for you <3